Welcome back to become a calm mama. I am

Darlene Childress. I am a life and parenting coach.

And I am going to talk today about

summer, and I've called this episode summer reset

because for most of us, we're sort of, like, right in the middle of

summer. You know, maybe your summer has

just feels like it just got started because we just had fourth of July. But

most of us have been out of school or kids have been out of school

for at least 3, 4 weeks. Some of you have even been out of

school. For, like, 6 weeks. So you are in

the the the dog days of summer, the doldrums of summer,

and you might be feeling a little bit

frustrated, disappointed, sad that

your summer isn't going as great as you hoped it would be. I think

what happens to us is we have a lot of ideas about

what the summer's gonna be like, and then we get into it. And

it's very easy to forget that

Summer is actually as easy as it is. It's also really

challenging, mostly because we're completely out of our rhythm.

And we're just spending a lot of time with our

kids, and they're spending a lot of time with us. So I wanted to help

you understand why you might be feeling this way, and

I'm gonna give you 10 reasons why you might be feeling like your

summer sucks and help you see that

if you're in this place where you're like, my summer sucks and I don't like

it, then I'm gonna help you understand why why those are why that's

happening. And then give you some really great strategies and tools

to help get your summer back on track. So that's why this

really is a summer reset. But before you can reset, We

kinda need to know what's going on. Like, what are the problems?

So I'm gonna go through the list, the reasons why you might be

feeling, like, your summer socks. And

just noticing if if any of these are true, then you're gonna wanna

put in some of the the tools and strategies that I'm gonna offer at the

end of this episode. So the 1 that you cannot

well, you can kind of deal with. But 1 reason why summer is hard is

honestly because the weather makes people grumpy. Like, when it

is really hot and humid and sticky out, it can be

really difficult to like, regulate our

emotions. It's just hard if we're feeling uncomfortable.

And I I kinda wanted just to say it even though it's obvious,

but, like, summer is hot. And when you're hot, you're not as

comfortable. And it can be hard to get cool, especially if you

don't have good AC or you don't have a pool. Or whatever it is,

everyone is just hot and sticky, and it can just be uncomfortable.

This is especially true. Like, if you're going camping and you're not, like,

near water, and everyone is just sort of hot and buggy and

dirty. Like, yeah, that might be 1 of the

reasons that summer is just hard.

I'll give you I can't change the weather for you, obviously, but I'll

give you some strategies of what to do to cope. The

other reasons that summer might suck is really, honestly, like, your kids might

be fighting all the time. And next up next week, I'm doing an episode on

summer and siblings. And I'm gonna just talk about, like,

strategies for that. But, really, what's going on is your kids

are just spending a ton of time together. And I think of it like

that kids end up almost like a an

old married couple that bickers all the time. That you start

to see these patterns in your kids where they're just, like, annoyed all the time

with them with each other. They're just picking on each other, and they're like,

He's looking at me. Stop looking at me. He's looking at me. Don't look at

me like that, and you can't even help them. Right? Because it's just

cuckoo arguments. And so

that is just 1 of the problems in the summers that your

kids just spend way more time together than they ever do during

the regular school year, particularly because they're in different

classes at school and they have different enrichment, the different activities

after school. They have different friend group. And then you in the summer, there's, like,

together a lot. So that's that's also that might be 1 of

the reasons why you're like, god, my summer sucks because It's hot. My kids are

fighting all the time. The

other reasons that you might feel like your summer is sucking is because your

kids are just really resistant to going to summer

camp. I just did a a blog post on

this and sent it out. If you're on my email list, you got that. This

past Tuesday. But so if you're not on my email

list, please go to come mama coaching dot com and be sure you get on

my email list, and then you can also you know, request me to

send you that blog post. But what

I talked about in that in that email is that

We think of summer camp as being just so much fun

for our kids. And when we think it's gonna be fun and then they hate

it and they resist it and they everyday and they're crying and you're

having big feeling cycles, it can feel really frustrating. You're

like, I bought this camp. I paid for it. They picked it. They

loved it last year, and here they hate it. And so having

that resistance can make your summer feel so frustrating

because it's it's different than even going to school.

Some kids have school refusal. And, actually, you're

everyone is much more committed. Everyone knows that school is, like, kind of

a a no deal deal. Like, everyone has to do

it. But it was summer camp. There seems to be some

option or flexibility, and your kids pick up on that. And then

they are also resisting it because summer camp

is hard. Even though you think it's fun,

it's actually hard for kids to go and be physical and be

outside and be in new social groups. And so that

is another reason that summer is hard is, like, you have

activities that you think are gonna be great, and then your kid has big fits

about them. And that is difficult.

This kind of go that reason, the summer camp resistance

making it hard for you to have a good summer, is the

partly how do I say it? Another

reason that your kids

might be having struggle this summer, and you might be feeling really frustrated by the

summer, is because your kids are probably

missing school and missing their school friends. So let's

just it's like school has a rhythm to it.

It has a predictability to it. It feels really safe. They know what they're supposed

to do every day. They know where they're supposed to be. They get

activities every day that then reinforce whether they're learning

or how good they are and all of that. And then they also have

their friends at school, their school friends. And so they know who they're supposed to

play with every day and what you know, they get all that, like, social need

met at school. In the summer, there's different

friends. The school friends aren't always available. People travel. People are on

vacation at different times. Some school friends are just

harder to get together with. Maybe you don't know the parents very well or they

live kind of cross town. And so your kids might be

really missing some of their friends, and they might feel a little bit lonely.

So your kids, we we think about oh, this summer is supposed

to be so great, and they're supposed to have such a great time. But

yet, they're not always super

happy. Right? Because of they're with their sibling all the time. They're not with

their friends. They have to go to camp. The the weather's really hot

and grumpy. And Also,

kids in the summer, they don't really want

to like, they kinda create, like, a Disneyland version of the summer,

sort of we do too. Right? The end of the school year, everyone is burned

out. You can't wait for, like, the free flow of summer. And, you know, it's

gonna be so great, so you don't have to be everywhere all the time. And

you kind of build it up in your mind that it's gonna be sort of

this, like, vacation feeling all the time, and

then you get into the reality of it, and you're like, this does not feel

like vacation at all. This feels like double work. Well, your

kids, they have the same idea. They think that the

summer is also going to be really amazing. And

in their mind, they're gonna, like, be able to do

whatever they want all summer long. Like, it's gonna be

almost like a free for all. And then all of a sudden, it's not. Right?

You still tell them to go to bed. You still tell them to take a

bath. You still tell them to eat their vegetables. They still have to clean up.

There's still a lot of waiting around in lines and going to with a grocery

store with mom and things like that or dad. They're still they're bored.

So your kids, they have

these unrealistic expectations of what this summer is gonna

be like, and then they get kind of stuck and, like, well, this

sucks because they've built it up in their mind. This also happens

around holiday gift giving. Your kids will think, like, I'm gonna get

everything I ever wanted that's in the, like, toy catalog or the target

catalog. And then they open up, you know, 5 presents, and their brain's like, that's

it? Right? So

that their expectation of the summer

is sometimes part of why you might

experience a lot of grumpy moods from them.

The other there's 3 other reasons, like, that kids have grumpy

moods. That are more physical related.

1 is that sleep is just whacked in the summer. Like,

you're trying to be super go with the flow and chill. So you

let your kids stay up later, but then your kid wakes up even

earlier. Have you noticed that? So you put them to bed later, and they never

sleep later. That sleeping later is really

rare for little kids. It doesn't really happen until puberty.

Every once in a while, 1 kid will sleep really late, and you're like, oh

my god. That's amazing. But for the most part, if you put your kids to

bed late, gonna wake up even earlier, just so annoying.

But then you think you're being so cool and chill and, like,

letting them stay up, And then the next day, it bites you in the butt

because you have grumpy pants showing up. It's like a little devil

spawned in the night. And you they show up and you're like, oh my god.

You're, like, a Tasmanian devil. You will not like, you

have more energy, and then you're crazy. You're not listening to me at

all. And you're like, shouldn't you be tired because you didn't get a lot

of sleep? Yeah. They are. Their tiredness is showing up

as adrenaline. Right? Their body is like, uh-oh. We gotta go into

our stress response because we obviously need to stay up and alert because we're not

getting enough sleep. So sleep the

rhythm of sleep getting super whacked is partly why you feel

feel like your summer is sucking. Your kids

are also eating a ton of crap food. Now, crap food

I don't know. It's not really fair to say that. But, like, Essentially, we

give our kids sort of easy, fast

carbohydrate or, you know, quick hits of energy.

Like, in in terms of chips or

ice cream or candy or milkshakes

and things like that. And it's not that necessarily

their body is crashing, kind of it

happens, But what is happening to them is that they're

getting full because they don't have a high caloric need in the first place

because they're kids. They don't -- need, like, you

know, a ton of food because their bodies are smaller,

that they are taking

in a lot of calories that they burn really quick.

So they have a burst of energy. Right? So you're giving them like this

food that is you know, gives them a lot of fast, fast

energy. And then they burn out really

quickly And then their brain craves another

quick hit of energy. And so then they're craving sugar, and they're

craving you know, fast carbs and and things like that because

their bodies like, we need energy. We're tired.

And, you know, we're burning through this energy so fast, it must be what we

need. So that kind of is a

vicious cycle that you end up in. Where your kid is off

balance, and then they crave quick energy. You give them

quick energy, then they crave more quick energy. And then all of a sudden, you

have, like, a little sugar snack monster on your hands. And you're,

like, so frustrated. Right? Because you're

thinking, don't you don't need to have candy all the time. Like, we already had

candy today. Like, stop asking for candy. What's wrong with you? We don't have candy

all the time. We don't have sugar all the time. Oh, sweet. Those are are

going to lecture mode, and it's really your

child's biological need is for that quick energy

So they're not eating a lot. They're not they're not

eating, like, food that stays stays sustained longer

in their bodies. And they're having extra screen

time. So, of course, they're having extra screen time.

It's summer. There's a lot of extra hours Right? And so you're not a bad

mom if your kids are on devices a lot more. It's just like they have

extra time and it's easy and, like, sure. But

what happens, I'm sure you've noticed this, is that they often end up

feeling more grumpy afterwards and then dissatisfied. And

That's because of what happens to their biology while they're

participating in the video game. They're not moving. They're getting dopamine.

It's building up. They're getting all these, like, quick hits. It's kinda like the sugar

thing, and their body is, you know, needing to

release all of that. And it looks like dysregulation. It

looks like a grumpy mood. And you're like, what? I just

said yes to you using screens. Now you want more, and now you want candy,

and now you with your brother and, you know, you're you're crying

about going to camp. What am I supposed to do with you? Right?

It can feel so frustrating, so overwhelming in

the summer because you're trying to do things, like, be casual and

-- and and be flexible and let them have, like, extra

sweets and extra screen and, you know, more

like, like, late nights. And all of a sudden, you have this

dysregulated bundle of mess. Who you wanna

dump off at camp and who won't even go to camp and then stays

home complaining. It's like, you probably feel like you can't win, you

can't lose. Right?

So that is all

super normal, what's happening. Then there's 2

so this is, like, kind of the effective summer rhythm

on your kids. Like, what happens to them and why they get so

dysregulated. And then what happens to you

is your children are struggling

and you feel very overwhelmed. And

resentful towards them. Right? You're

spending extra time with these people who are now even extra

disregulated and you're having trouble coping with your

own emotional regulation. Right? Your kids are struggling,

and then you're struggling And you're in a vicious cycle where you're, like,

burned out. You disconnect from them. You yell at them, and then you feel

like crap. So then you give them extra privileges. But then that

cycle makes it so that they have harder time regulating

as you're doing, like, kind of bare minimum parenting Like, sure. Whatever you whatever

you want. Go to sleep and you want, which I I want you to know

it's okay. But what happens is then you're in a cycle where your kids

are not They're not able to manage

that much physical dysregulation

and emotional dysregulation. And they dump it on you, they dump it

on their siblings, and then you're burned out.

Right? So what are you supposed to

do about it? First, just that was a lot,

like, 15 minutes of, like, why summer socks

It is a lot. It's a lot to be with your kids all the time.

It's a lot to balance keep that balance in

the summer, and I want you to

know you're not alone. Every mom listening to this

podcast episode is like, yeah. That's my

life. That's my house. Every day,

it's like that. They're just running like crazy. They're

fighting all the time. Nobody's listening. I wanna,

like, you know, send them to camp just to get them away from

me, and then the whole they're complaining about going to camp and have paid for

it. Right? So I just

want you to know you're normal, and your

feelings are valid. It is overwhelming. It is difficult.

You are trying to be flexi and flow, and it's

not going how you wanted it to go, and that's hard, and that's

disappointing. So I just wanna -- spend a second to

acknowledge and validate, let you know I see you.

I understand that Summer

sucks sometimes, and that's okay.

It's it's kinda like I talked about last week how you go on a

vacation. But, really, it's a business trip. Right? And that's kinda

what summer is. It's like, you're a work from home, parent.

Like, it's still work. Don't get me

wrong. There's some really fun stuff about the summer, but it's only when

everybody is pretty regulated that you get to have that sort of

good feeling. Right? So how do you get your summer

back on track? That's what I wanna help you with.

So it's not just you

know, a yeah. Summer sucks.

Okay. Bye. Right? I want you to feel that you

have support and tools so that you can get your summer

back on track. So the first strategy I wanna offer to you

is to build back some rhythm.

If you feel that you are out of balance with sleep, if you're out

of balance with food, if you're out of balance with

screens. And all out of balance means is it's tilted

to more than your kids are accustomed to.

So there's no fast rules about, like,

what, you know, what kids should eat and when they should eat and how much

screen time and what time they should go to bed. You

have probably built pretty good rhythms in your family,

especially during the school year. And so if you're seeing that your

kids are sort of dysregulated. They're grumpy a lot.

I want you to build back some rhythm. So what that looks like

is having a day or 2 where you get back to your old routine.

You figure out what you're gonna serve for breakfast, lunch, and

dinner. Right? Generally, right, you're like, okay. They're gonna have cereal. They're gonna have

sandwiches, and then they're gonna pasta or whatever. And then you have your 2

snacks planned, so you're gonna be, like, you know, Cheese,

an apple, first, you know, morning snack, and popcorn,

and nuts, and, you know, strawberries or whatever in

the afternoon. So you have, in your mind okay.

I know what I'm doing for food for these people for today. Like,

in general, and then putting them into

that routine. Like, hey. You're you're, you know, you're welcome get

breakfast, it's on the table. It'll be there for the next 20 minutes or

whatever. And then if they don't eat that, you just put it away.

Then you serve the snack. You know? Happy to serve snack as long as, you

know, you come to the table now. This is what's for lunch.

And try to avoid maybe special treats for, like, a day

or 2 or just building back some rhythm. So if you've been

going to, like, get ice cream every night, Maybe skip that

if you, you know, find yourself, like, going, you know,

not gonna tell you what food to eat. But if you feel like you're off

rhythm there, then do that. Having a

day where you get back to a routine in terms of meals -- where you

get back into a routine and have your evening routine.

So do an on time at home night.

Right? So where you put your kids to bed earlier or you could

just get back to that bedtime routine. You're like, these people need to sleep. I'm

putting them to bed early tonight. They seem exhausted and just

committing to doing that. So 1 or

2 days a week for the next couple of weeks,

having a rhythm day, a routine day where you put

back into your rhythm. That includes

making sure you, you know, also have a screen

time limit that day too. So you're just like, yep. You guys can use

your devices after you we go swimming at the pool. You can use it from

2 to 3, and then we're gonna have snack, and then we're gonna play at

home. So you just build a couple of rhythm days

into your days. I promise a couple of those will help

get your summer back on track. Another strategy

is to get a break. If we're midsummer,

you're midsummer mama. Right? You are burned out.

When was the last time you went and had some fun?

Go do something fun without your kids. Plan a mom's night

out. -- get a babysitter, go on a date, do a kid

swap on the weekend, and that way you can maybe get on top of

some stuff either with your life or at home. Do some

things to take care of yourself. Just look

at your calendar and be like, I need a day. You know, ask

grandparents, ask babysitters, ask friends, ask your

sister, whoever is nearby. And I have a feeling that

there's other moms in your community that you know that also

needs some support. So if you could bring have their kids

for an afternoon -- noon 1 day, and she gets a break,

and then you take she takes your kids in the afternoon 1

day, and you just do this a kid swap. That would be really,

really helpful. Another thing I like to help

parents plan is what I think of as a breathe

in day. So A lot of this summer is spent with

big energy outside, lots of movement, lots of

stimulation, and that's like a breed out day. It's like

right? A lot of energy going out into the world. Now when

do you pull in? When do you take an inhale?

Have a a chill at home day, maybe even

without siblings if that's at all possible. Right? Wanting you to

think about planning a day or 2 in your next couple of

weeks where you do a breathe in day. Quiet things. Go to

the library. See a cheap movie. They always seem to have,

you know, movies in the summer for kids. Like, you know, Tuesdays

kids watch free or something like that. So go see an old school movie

and and just have them be resting in that dark theater, in

that cool theater. And, you know, having some

apple or some grapes or something like that and just, you know,

watching watching a movie, especially if it's 1 that they love. Like, it's the 1

they've seen many times. So going to see a movie,

building forts inside, planning a stuffed animal

party. We always would do that. We'd talk about it. Like, we're gonna do a

stuffed animal party. Figure out which stuffed animals were gonna be invited, and

then plan, like, a whole party for them. And they what the kid what the

animals were gonna do, and they were gonna have this kid. We're gonna have a

dance party, and we're gonna have snacks, and, like, my kids would get into having

a stuffed animal party. And it would kind of become the activity

for the day. Another activity, quiet activity is

toy organization day. Just saying we're gonna organize the playroom. We're

gonna organize the toys. We're gonna organize your bedroom. And you

kinda can get into it by, you know, organizing. And

then, hopefully, without the real intention of organizing, like, you

kinda want that but don't make that your goal. The goal is really that

your kids will see toys that haven't played within a while, and they might

start to get -- into something. So just kind of a

flow day, an at home day, a quiet day, maybe 1

small activity like the library or the movie, and then you're home

with the rest of the day and doing at home things.

The last strategy I have for you is is checking your

mindset. A lot of the time, the reason

why we are feeling frustrated grumpy, there's some

practical things that are happening. Right? Like I said, your

kids are not eating, sleeping well. They're overstimulated.

They're around friends too much. Camp is hard. There are actual

circumstances that are creating some of the frustration

for you. So you can build back your rhythm

and fix some of those not problems, but, like, some of the

situations that are creating the dysregulation in your kids and

then you'll have some easier time. So there's some parenting

that you can do that will make things easier. But

then there's also, you always have at your disposal,

kamama tools, particularly mindset.

So when you have a day or a week in the summer and it's not

going great and you're feeling super grumpy, I

want you to actually process that negative

emotion. And in my programs, I teach this process

called kamama thinking. And it is really

about mindset, doing a mindset reset.

Right? Resetting our mind. To the thoughts that we wanna

have, to the feelings we wanna have. So I'm gonna walk you through

what I mean by come I'm a thinking. I actually do

teach this on the podcast.

On episode 61, I talk about the parenting stress

cycle. And then episode 10, I talk about how to reset your

mind. So I've taught this before. So if you wanna go back to those episodes,

it's a good idea. But, essentially, what I want you to do is the first

step is to do a thought dump. So what's that? It's where you

write out what you're feeling. And why. So you

can write at the top, like, I'm feeling angry. I'm feeling frustrated. I'm

feeling hurt. I'm feeling disappointed. I'm feeling regret. I'm feeling guilt.

I'm feeling like crap, which is not a feeling, but you can say it.

And so you're gonna just kinda write what you're feeling and why. Why are you

feeling this way? Give yourself a chance

to vent, to talk about it, to be frustrated.

I think of a thought as conversation with

a friend. Right? Like, you know when you get on the phone or you get

on a call with, you know, you get with your friend and you just kind

of tell them everything that's going wrong? And how

good that feels, that's what I want you to be for yourself.

So a thought dump is a way to get out all those negative

thoughts you have and all those feelings that you have.

And it will help you give yourself some compassion

and -- and give yourself some perspective. A lot of times, our brain

will start to, like, do a thought dump, and it's gonna be really negative.

And then we'll find, like, oh, but they're so cute. Or It only happens

sometimes, and our brain starts to argue with itself because

it does want to feel more joy, more peace, more

hope, more love, more kindness, Our our natural

instinct is to move towards positive emotion,

but we can't just get there. You cannot bypass negative

emotion and just think new thoughts. We have

to go let our brain go through a journey of first

acknowledging where we are and then watching our brain

crave or find its way to a new feeling, and you

can trust that it will. So we start with a thought

dump, dumping down all our negative thoughts. And

then, I always think about, okay, what

feeling am I chasing? So particularly, like, if

there's an event that we're going to and or some sort of activity that I've

planned, or we just had fourth of July. And, you know,

I was like, what am I wanna feel today? That's how I

make sort of decisions of, like, what do I wanna be

doing? It's kinda like, well, what do I wanna feel today? I want to feel

relaxed. On fourth of July. And so that's

sort of the feeling that I chased that day. And

then I built a day around relaxation.

And so that means that I've had to I've to

think about what feeling what what thoughts

do I need to be thinking in order to let me feel relaxed?

And, like, for for fourth of July, for

me, it was I don't need to be with friends

to have fun. Like, I can relax

alone. It's okay that I wanna be at home today.

Because I really didn't feel like doing something with other people. I

was I was tired, and I wanted to relax. I don't wanna host

anything. I don't wanna go anywhere. And then I could feel, like,

FOMO. Right? If you're missing out, I could feel guilt or,

like, kind of, like, oh, I'm a loser for not doing anything. So I

gave myself permission. I had to think new thoughts that helped me feel

relaxed. Like, you know, it's okay for me to

stay home. It's okay for me to not be social

today, things like that. So that's what step 3 is is doing

a thought swap. Right? We have to find What

thoughts do we need to think in order to feel the

way we wanna feel? So it's like,

yeah, I wanted to create circumstances that are relaxing for me.

Right? But if I was thinking the whole time, god, you're such a loser,

for not going to do something or not inviting people over,

like, you're such a loser. If I'm thinking I'm such a loser, am I

gonna feel relaxed? No. I have to

be thinking, you're okay. This is okay. You

chose this. This is what you wanted. You have permission to

rest. I have to actively think those thoughts in order

to feel the way I wanna feel, such as the circumstances.

So that's what I'm inviting you to do is

really thinking about, like, what do you want

to be feeling this summer? Most of the time, I feel like what

we want is ease in the summer. We want it to be

easy. So 1 thought is to think I can make

this easy or having routines

make it easy for me Saying no to things makes it

easy. You can think different things

that help you feel that ease. We wanna feel joy We

wanna feel peace. Right? We wanna feel connection. We

wanna feel relax, whatever it

is. And so being able

to think thoughts like my kids are doing their

best, I have permission to take care of myself.

I can always pause. My kids are so

immature. That's 1 of the things I

often think is like, hi. They're so immature. And I say it sort

of tongue and cheek because the truth is, yes. Of course, they're immature. They're children.

Right? I can I can handle this?

That's a thought that I have often. So just thinking about

if you know, you're thinking, like, I can't handle this. Like,

I can't be with my kids all day every day. There's, like, no way I

can do another day. This is awful. If you're stuck in that way of

thinking, you're going to feel overwhelmed, and you're not gonna take

action to help yourself because you're gonna feel trapped.

So instead, I want you to start to think thing things like, you know what?

Today is really hard. It's okay that it's hard. I can do

I can do hard things like that famous sentence. Right?

I just have to get through to bedtime. I can handle a few more

hours. I again, I'm gonna take really good care of myself

tomorrow. This isn't gonna work. Let's figure this. I need

a new plan. You can be thinking of thoughts that are

empowering for you and then help you feel confident. Right?

Thinking negative thoughts about your kids. Like, they're so rude. They're so ungrateful.

They're always complaining Right? If you're if you're thinking that, you're

gonna feel angry with them. But if you

practice a thought like, oh, they're so immature, They're very young.

They're not fully developed. They're doing the best they can.

They've been very overwhelmed. I they still have a lot

to learn. That's okay. I can teach them new

things. This is temporary. They're gonna grow up.

You know, whatever thoughts that you need to

help you shift into that new feeling, that's what mindset really

is. And when you are in that new

mindset, you're able to get, like, maybe take

different actions. Right? So instead of feeling stuck

and trapped and you're yelling at your kids, you're like, you know what? I'm putting

these kids to bed early. They're gonna get to bed early. I'm gonna watch a

show tonight. I'm gonna do the dishes tomorrow. It's not a big

deal. I can leave this mess for tomorrow, and you're gonna start

to think thoughts that help you take really good care of

yourself and that give you permission to do that, and

then watch those actions happen. The

mindset will help you shift out of some of

that grumpy feeling and get you into that

place where, hopefully, you can have more compassion for your kids

Right? We want to feel compassion for them. We want to look at

them in the summer and think, you're struggling.

Summers hard. Yes. You're hot. Yes. You're bored. Yes. You're with your siblings

a lot. Yes. Camp isn't great for you. Yes. You miss your school friends.

Yes. You're tired. Yes. You're overwhelmed. Looking at them

and seeing them from that lens of, of course, their

feeling this way, will give you more compassion for them,

and then they'll experience that compassion, and then

their emotions will

regulate. They'll start to calm themselves. They don't feel like they need

to act out the behavior because you're seeing

the things that are going on inside. You're validating it. And then from

that energy, you're solving for it too. Right?

You're making those leadership decisions as the parent. You're saying, at

okay. These kids are really overwhelmed. We're having an at home day tomorrow. We're

having to breathe in day. I you know, I'm gonna get some rhythm

back. We're gonna do our regular routine tomorrow. We're

gonna not say hi. We're not gonna spend time with friends. We're just gonna be

at home. We're gonna connect in this way, and I'm

gonna help my kids regulate themselves.

And you're gonna be able to do that when you've had a little

bit of break and when you feel when you're feeling

more calm, more confident, more --

less overwhelmed, you know, more peace inside of

yourself, you'll be able to take those actions. So, hopefully,

This gave you some tools, some tips

so that you can get your summer back on track. Again,

you know, there's a lot of reasons why summer goes off the rails,

and it's has very little to do with you.

Like, it's not because you have raised total brat

children and that there's like, they're terrible. It

All behavior is driven by feelings. And when you see a

lot of off track behavior, that is because your kids are

overwhelmed. And when your kids are overwhelmed, what do they need?

They need compassion, and they need

routine. So when you're off track this summer,

Just practice your come on my tools, take care of yourself,

compassionally connect with your kids, set some limits, get back to routines,

and I promise You're gonna get back to a

better rhythm. Are you gonna have magic unicorn days? Maybe.

We're not looking for magic unicorn days. We're looking for some peace

and ease in the day to day of our actual lives.

Right? And when you're off track,

that's what we're doing is we're like, ah, we're off track. Okay. Let's

reset. Reset. Our rhythms, reset our routines,

reset our connection, reregulate everybody,

and then start again. Start fresh. Alright,

mamas. I hope you are able to reset your summer if it's

been off track and that you're gonna Yeah.

Just enjoy your kids this summer as much as you possibly can.

And as you build those breathe in days that when you do your breathe out

days, that they feel really fun and energetic

and, like, giggles and laughter and all the things you're craving.

Okay. I will talk to you next week.

Have a great week.