Trish: [00:00:00] Hey mama, and hey, partner, if you're tuning in, if you are, good job. I am so darn proud of you. Today's episode is all about what your partner can do in the first trimester that will genuinely shape your entire pregnancy, your birth, and your postpartum journey. Because let me tell you something. The first trimester can be hard, and it's.

The blueprint for this experience, this is where we're gonna talk about how it is the foundation for support, trust, communication, and the kind of care that you will be able to bring into the birth room for your birthing partner. So if you're a partner and you've been wondering, what do I do right now?

The answer is a lot. A whole lot. So let's talk about eight ways to show up, step in and start your support Strong. Number one, you need to learn about her hormones. This is step one because everything else flows from understanding what actually is happening inside [00:01:00] of her body in the first trimester, estrogen increases by a hundred percent progesterone skyrockets, and HCG, which is the pregnancy hormone, is doubling every 48 to 72.

Hours and you can go listen to the first two episodes of pregnancy unpacked where I break this all down. But what does that mean? It means, number one, she's not lazy. She is building a placenta. She's building a person. She's not moody. She's on a hormonal roller coaster that literally reshapes her brain.

Let that land her tiredness, her nausea. That's not in her head. That is biology. So here's a partner tip. Read a short article. Listen to my podcast episodes with her, and just ask her, Hey, how are you feeling? Let's talk about what's going on inside your body this week and why that matters. Is that. Empathy can come from education.

The more you understand the why, the more patient and [00:02:00] compassionate you'll be during the hard days. And the truth is, this isn't just a pregnancy thing. These are communication tools that you guys are going to need to use inside the birth inside of postpartum. And parenting that sweet little nugget.

Number two, plan the birth with her. You are not just along for the ride. This is your experience too. You're part of the team. So start showing up like it now, and that means talk with her about birth preferences and realize like she needs your support. She needs you to be able to stand up for her. Birth plan and her birth preferences and research what kind of provider you guys are gonna be seeing.

And I talk about this in the pregnancy, unpacked, and I explain the difference between an ob, a practitioner, a midwife, all of those things. And then also dive into the differences between a hospital birth, a birth center birth, and a home birth. Here's my tip for you. Ask to your person, if you could [00:03:00] imagine the ideal birth, what does it feel like, who's there, and how do you want to be supported?

The reason this matters is because a lot of partners wait until 38 weeks and panic Google, but the earlier you learn, the more you chat with her, the more confidence you're gonna have when it counts, and that is gonna build trust between the two of you. This is such a beautiful experience. Number three, protect her energy.

One of the best things you can do throughout her entire pregnancy, but especially the first trimester, is be the gatekeeper. And that looks like saying no to all the social invites, like be picky, be choosy, because that can be very draining for her right now as she builds a human. You can field nonstop questions from family and.

Please take this skill into the end of pregnancy as well. Remind her that she doesn't owe anyone access to her body or your pregnancy news or choices that she's making. So. Here's a partner tip. [00:04:00] Be the one who says, Hey, we'll let you know when we're ready to share more. The reason this matters so much is protecting her peace now trains your relationship to operate with boundaries.

And guess what? That same skill is going to protect her so much during postpartum. When her nervous system is raw, her body is healing, and her capacity for BS is low. Number four, track the apps yourself. And this is a super easy download a pregnancy app, check it daily or weekly, and bring that info to her and be like, babe.

The baby's the size of a blueberry today. Guess what? Our little peanuts heart just started beating this week. Be curious, ask questions and share the milestones that is gonna make her feel. S. So amazing. I can't even imagine if my ex would've done that. Y'all know he wouldn't have. But had he done that, that would've been amazing.

And you don't need to be prompted, come to her. Why that matters so much is it makes her feel like she's not alone. [00:05:00] And it shows her that this isn't just her pregnancy, it's your pregnancy too, and it's your baby. And that creates bonding and co-regulation, which will completely lower both of your anxiety.

Okay, number five, take care of her. Take care of her. It's going to become about the baby, but I want you to start focusing on her. It's really easy to focus on nursery items, and she's doing all that jam and she's thinking about names and all of that, but. Make her a meal.

Bring her, bring her breakfast in bed, give her some water bottles filled up, ready to go. Buy her a cute, that's what you need to do. Go to Amazon and buy her a really cute special water bottle that is going to speak to her love language, I promise you. Protect her naps. Take some pressure off of her shoulders and ask her, like go to her and say, Hey babe, what can I take off your plate today?

And then do it. And here's why that matters. Birth outcomes improve when a birthing person [00:06:00] feels emotionally safe and supported during her pregnancy. This is proof, this is, studies have shown. The way you show up now directly impacts how she feels about her body, her baby, and you. Okay, number six, emotional check-ins.

This is huge. Start getting in the habit of regular open-ended emotional check-ins. How are you feeling? How are your boobs feeling? Are they hurting? What's been hard this week? What weird thoughts have you had? What is something that I could do for you? What is something I could do better? And here's the thing, just listen.

You don't have to fix anything. Just be a presence. Let her get it off her chest. Ask her about Sally at work if she's still on her nerves. And the reason that matters is you're building up a really important muscle. This is the one that you're gonna use during labor that I'm gonna teach you how to do inside the birth classes.

Hint, hint, when things get intense, and it's the same one you're gonna use at 2:00 AM when the baby won't sleep and she's crying in the bathroom and begging for help. Okay, [00:07:00] number seven, get educated with her. I'm going to say this out loud again for the ones in the back. Get educated. With her, do not wait.

You don't wanna be in the birth room with zero tools. You are so freaking important. So start listening to the lessons with her. Pick one module a week and then ask questions. And you guys have options with me. You can take my full kitten caboodle, birth class, calm labor, confident birth class, or we also have the one made just for y'all.

If you don't feel like doing all the things right away. Start with calm labor Birth pod, which is an audio birth class. You can listen to it while you run, while you go to the gym, while you go out and about. Learn the stages of labor. Learn the breathing techniques, learn the comfort measures. This is so important and we have links in the bio for both classes.

So I want you to say this, and I'm telling y'all right now, you're gonna get so many brownie points I want you to say, babe. I made some popcorn, I got us some [00:08:00] drinks. We're gonna sit on the couch and watch a module together tonight. I wanna know what to do when you're in labor 'cause I wanna be able to support you.

Listen, you are gonna get some hanky panky for that one. That's why you need to take action. Okay? Partners who understand birth reduce the interventions. They increase her flowing of oxytocin because she feels loved and safe. And it helps her feel safer and more in control. Okay, number eight, this is super important.

Begin postpartum planning. Now, it's not too early. Start talking about it. Who's gonna help when the baby arrives? What are our roles? What is she going to need in terms of meals and. Sleep and mental health support. Can you guys afford a postpartum doula or someone to come in and clean the house? And I want you to say to her, fourth trimester is gonna be hard, so let's start planning for it now.

And why that matters is the number one regret I hear from new moms is they didn't prepare enough for postpartum. [00:09:00] This is why we have the postpartum membership. 100%. Encourage her to get inside of Call Mama Society. It's $19 a month. What a gift. You can gift it to her and she will have support. She'll have doulas, she'll have all the answers she needs.

Start those conversations now. Give her a chance to feel seen, supported. Less anxious about all the unknowns. I say this all the time. If you don't know the birth options, you don't have any. If you don't know the postpartum options, you don't have any. Here's my truth for you guys, okay? Support isn't about fixing or figuring it all out.

It's about being present, being consistent, being willing, being curious, and staying with her along the way. So if you're a partner listening to this, you have so much power to make this such a joyful. Beautiful supported journey. And if you're a mama listening, send this to your partner. Tell them you want this kind of support because when your partner shows up early, you stay connected throughout the entire experience.

Okay? If you wanna go deeper, again, [00:10:00] join calm Labor Confident birth class, or listen to the calm labor Birth pod you can go to labor nurse mama.com/calm for the full birth program, or you can go to labor nurse mama.com/guide for the calm labor birth pod, whichever it is.

Get educated. And start this journey strong. As always. Hit subscribe. Leave a review, please. If you're on Spotify, leave a comment. Let me know what you wanna hear more of. Tell me what you loved, what landed, and I will see you again next week. Bye for now.