You know the Polyvagal Theory's primary states already, safety,
flight-fight, and shutdown.
But what happens if they mix?
In this episode, we move into the mixed states.
What happens when two states are firing at once?
And we start with freeze.
Why freeze is not the same as shutdown.
What panic and phobias and rage have in common, and the difference between
coping with freeze in the moment and actually thawing it over time.
And we will return to Courtney as her story takes a difficult turn.
I'm Justin Sunseri.
Hi.
I'm a therapist, a self-regulation coach, and Polyvagal Institute
Editorial Board member.
Welcome to Stuck Not Broken.
This is Book One: Trauma and the Polyvagal Paradigm.
This is a, uh, audiobook that I am reading to you all through,
uh, season two of the podcast.
So obviously, a quick note here before we continue, this is an audiobook,
and it's meant to be heard in order.
Each episode builds on the ones before it.
So if you're just finding the show now, I am so happy you're here.
Welcome.
But also go back and start from the beginning, please.
It'll make a lot more sense that way, especially if you're new to this stuff.
And if you do wanna support the show or you'd rather read the book, this
book and the next two are available now in both digital and softcover.
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I appreciate it.
The mixed s- The mixed states.
So far, we've only covered the primary states of the autonomic nervous system.
There are more states, but these are the mixed states.
When two or all primary states are active simultaneously, they create a mixed state.
If you mix two primary colors, you get a secondary color, right?
Red paint mixed with blue paint makes purple paint.
Two primaries create a mixed result.
Same with polyvagal primary states and mixed states The mixed states,
uh, math breaks down like this.
Freeze is flight or fight plus shutdown.
Play and motivation are safety plus flight-fight.
Stillness and intimacy are safety plus shutdown, and appease is safety
plus fight-fight plus shutdown, and fawn is flight or fight plus shutdown.
We'll talk about each one of these more in future episodes, so
you don't have to memorize that.
We're gonna start with freeze, though.
Freeze is not shutdown.
You've probably noticed by now that I refer to the third polyvagal
rung as shutdown and not freeze.
Typically, the word freeze is used, and it was also my default word.
That is, until I chatted with Dr. Porges, and he clarified that freeze and shutdown
are distinct autonomic phenomena, though they are closely connected.
He says, "There is this whole ambiguity because people use the word freeze
when they really mean shutting down.
The mouse in the jaws of a cat is not frozen.
It's just limp.
The limp loss of muscle tone is a dorsal vagal response." He
said that in my interview with him way back in episode fifteen.
Shutdown and freeze are both immobile, yes, though shutdown is a
limp collapse and freeze is tense.
Freeze combines sympathetic flight-fight plus dorsal vagal
shutdown, mobility plus immobility.
Freeze involves an intense and rapid buildup of energy to run or fight,
while also the body immobilizes, whether that's due to force or perception.
Sexual assault is an obvious example.
There's an impulse to mobilize, but the individual is unable to use it.
They potentially enter a freeze mixed state.
Their body is immobile while sympathetically charged.
People can also enter the freeze state in everyday scenarios, like being put to
sleep while highly anxious before surgery.
When someone goes under in this state, they come out of their
anesthesia with a sympathetic charge.
They wake up in a fit, screaming or flailing.
This terrifying waking scenario is something that medical staff have told me
that they often witness in surgical rooms
Panic might be the most common experience of freeze, uh, day-to-day experience.
Think about the last time you had a pa- a panic attack.
Your heart rate was probably increased, breathing was shallow and
pressured, but you were also immobile.
Your sympathetic state was active but frozen.
Phobias might be the result of a freeze response within individuals.
Certain stimuli, like spiders, activate the sympathetic and dorsal vagal
systems, or they trigger a freeze activation that's already there.
For me in particular, driving over bridges can induce this response, or it has.
I've gotten… It's gotten a lot better, but it has, um, especially
if I can't see the ground.
Rationally, I know I'm safe.
My car is reliable, I'm a capable driver, and the bridge
is structurally sound, isn't it?
However, when I cross over those bridges, my heart rate goes way
up, breathing becomes shallow and rapid, and my muscles tense.
Despite my efforts to stay grounded, I feel disconnected from reality.
My mind conjures a catastrophic scenario where my car stalls on the bridge,
causing a pileup as cars ram into me.
Like I said, it's gotten better, but it used to be pretty bad.
After talking out loud, narrating everything happening, and forcing
myself to maintain regular breathing, I overcome the acute freeze
response, and I regain control.
Once I reach solid ground, the freeze immediately subsides.
Freeze is the combination of sympathetic flight-fight plus shutdown.
But the sympathetic system has two distinct possibilities, flight or fight.
What happens when one is in a dominant flight sympathetic plus shutdown?
And what about a dominant fight plus shutdown?
When flight mixes with shutdown, it results in a
frozen panic, like the phobias.
Panic is specifically the immobilized impulse to flee.
But when fight mixes with shutdown, it results in explosive rage.
At least the release of the fight activation from a fight
freeze can be rage when the immobilization piece of it comes off.
Otherwise, panic and rage can live really frozen in the system for quite a while.
Coming out of freeze in the moment.
There is not a singular coping skill that works for everyone in the
intense moments of panic and rage, fear, and overwhelm, sorry to say.
Sensory stimulation is helpful for some.
It may help if a loved one firmly grasps your hand.
Saying things out loud can be helpful, like narrating what's happening or
counting things in the environment.
Yeah, maybe.
But really, anything to get your body a bit more grounded into the
present moment or to get you more grounded into your body as well.
Anything to get the safety pathways a little bit more active can
help the freeze intensity reduce.
So those ideas and many, many other options, they're fairly
typical coping skills or grounding techniques to help reduce the
intensity of a momentary freeze.
They don't exactly help the individual to feel more safe.
It's more like they reduce the freeze activation, which is something.
Coping with freeze through these techniques is different than anchoring
to safety and actually balancing it out and actually relieving the freeze.
Yeah, I know it seems impossible, but if you build the strength of
your safety state enough, you can eventually notice when there's a
tolerable amount of panic in the system before it becomes a full-on panic.
You might notice it as anxiety or worry.
The feeling is still there, but it hasn't yet built into a crescendo of panic.
Likewise, you could eventually notice lower levels of anger or irritation
before it's a full-on rage, or mild stress before it becomes overwhelm.
When you notice the lower level of emotions building into a freeze,
you can use mindful safety anchoring or coping skills more effectively.
Balance out the mild freeze with safety activation if you can.
When you do, the immobilization of freeze can peel away, allowing
the mobility of flight-fight.
Then mindfully use the flight-fight activation through movement,
like walking outside or tensing and releasing your muscles.
It can also help to listen to and allow your body to breathe
as it naturally needs to.
Or maybe you could even purposefully extend your exhale.
That can help settle into safety a little bit more and then try a small movement.
This probably seems impossible or intimidating.
If you practice safety outside the context of a freeze, using those
same skills is more accessible.
Likewise, practice noticing mild flight-fight activation before it
becomes anxiety or anger that's too much.
When you notice it, use a safety practice to balance it out.
Over time, your ability to notice mild freeze activation early on will
increase, and you can use coping or safety anchoring techniques way more effectively.
Freeze activation will also reduce and be more tolerable.
Eventually, it might not be an issue at all.
Coming out of freeze through thawing.
But a freeze state can be ongoing, not just one panic attack, but a
state that someone can potentially exist in for years and years.
Don't confront the long-lasting freeze directly.
Instead, one should gradually thaw the freeze.
Ideally, the stuck sympathetic energy is felt in small pieces at a time.
Uh, this is something called titration, and there's much more
on this process in book three.
However, therapists and other helping professionals sadly often ignore
one essential aspect of thawing a freeze in their trauma work, building
the client's safety state strength.
More on that in book two.
This neglect results in re-traumatization.
If your safety state is not strong enough, you may end up re-traumatizing
yourself by attempting to heal your freeze before you're ready for it.
It will be self-defeating and reinforce any fears you have about getting unstuck.
I know you want to discharge your freeze energy to heal the trauma and,
and move on with life, like right now.
But do not rush this process because it could result in re-traumatization.
Therapies that focus on trauma narratives like EMDR and trauma-focused
CBT may inadvertently reinforce trauma because of this exact reason.
Titration.
Releasing a bit of trauma at a time becomes an option once you
anchor deeply enough into safety.
Part of titration is another process called pendulation, which is shifting
from safety to defense and then back to safety, back and forth.
Pendulation repeats until the defensive state softens enough to be tolerable
or even discharges from the body.
And again, much more on this process and how to get there in book three.
It is not as easy as it sounds.
Courtney.
Let's check in on Courtney once more now that you know the difference
between shutdown and freeze, limp versus tense immobilization.
A quick recap, though, first.
She's in the back house at her aunt's with her friends.
A man came back there and tried to get into a room with Courtney alone.
Her friends got him to back off, but he again tried to stop Courtney
from leaving, uh, the front door to, you know, the front house.
The aunt and others came to the back house in response to the yelling from
Courtney and her friends, and Courtney's uncles stepped in and the man backed off.
He laughs it off and marches to the front house, finally leaving the girls alone.
Courtney and her friends explain what happened to the aunt and the others that
have gathered around the back house.
They explain how he was acting weird, trying to be alone with
Courtney, and grabbing at her.
They tell them everything, using their voices loudly and forcefully.
They demand action be taken, that the uncles beat his ass.
Her aunt says, "We heard you yelling.
Then we checked the security cameras and saw everything before coming down
here." The aunt looks Courtney up and down and says, "He wouldn't act
that way if you didn't lead him on."
Courtney is stunned.
Her eyes go wide, and she stands still.
"Lead him on?" She checks herself.
"I'm wearing a T-shirt, Auntie.
We were just watching TV."
The aunt says, "I've seen you and your friends back here before.
I've seen you talking to the men and tying up your shirts and showing your skin.
Courtney feels the energy leave her body.
She goes numb, and her shoulders slump down in defeat
The ant continues, "Don't be coming around here no more. You and your
little friends can go somewhere else."
Courtney hangs her head and walks slowly off.
Her friends put their arms around her, yelling back at the aunt about what
really happened, how wrong this was, and how they did not deserve this.
So now that you know the difference between freeze and shutdown,
what do you notice in the story?
Before this section, Courtney clearly went from her safety
state to flight and then fight.
After the man leaves, Courtney and her friends are still in their fight state.
They successfully got the attention of others, but their
fight activation persisted.
Perhaps this is because the man faced no repercussions.
He simply walked off like nothing happened.
There was no justice in this scenario.
So the fight activation, the anger lingered.
But something else happens when her aunt blames her for the man's actions.
Courtney immobilizes while in a fight.
She is stunned into a brief freeze, but exits it and again uses her
fight energy to demand action.
When her aunt persists in blaming Courtney, she enters a shutdown.
The shutdown is further solidified when her aunt outright rejects
and bans her from coming back.
That is freeze, the tense mixed state, flight or fight plus shutdown.
Gas and brake at the same time.
And it's the first of the mixed states where the primary states start
combining into the fuller range of what we actually feel day to day.
Next time we'll, we'll do a lighter one, play and motivation.
The mixed state of safety plus flight or fight and why it
matters maybe more than it sounds.
If you wanna take this chapter further, the written book has journal
reflections for it, along with primary source quotes and no ads.
It and the next two books are linked in the description if
you'd like to support the show.
Thank you so much for listening.
Bye.