You're listening to the Driving Confidence podcast for drivers who want to be calm and confident on the road. We will be sharing tips, stories and advice to beat driving nerves and anxiety and build your driving confidence. Whether you are just starting out as a learner or have had your driving license for years, if you want to transform how you feel about driving, this podcast is for you. We've got some content here for you that's a little bit different. And the reason for that is because when we created it, we weren't thinking about the podcast. We were actually creating this as training materials for driving instructors. So yeah, so we want you to listen to this season from a different perspective. We want you to hear things Slightly differently, because we're talking to driving instructors, predominantly in this. you might hear the phrases slightly differently. So it will give you a different perspective of what we're trying to say as well. Now of course, because we were talking to driving instructors, we've used some of the lingo. So you might hear us say phrases like ADI or PDI, and that just means an approved driving instructor or a potential driving instructor. Yeah, other words that you will hear us say are part two, Part three and standards check. And here we're just talking about the tests or the assessments that people have to take to become a driving instructor or to stay a driving instructor. So really it's a bit like the equivalent of the driving test. We hope that you enjoy listening to things from a fresh perspective. And remember that while we are talking to driving instructors in these episodes, we are talking to them about how they could help you. We're going to talk about relaxation exercises and also share with you a mindful reset to help those stressed and nervous students. So as always, our message is there is no one size fits all for people. I. We are all different. Yeah, and this is really important when it comes to stress management techniques. We are sharing lots of different techniques because there is no one size fits all. So realization exercises and the mindful reset will work for lots of people, but they won't work for everybody. So choose the ones which suit you and which suit your student best. Let's find out some more. Yeah, so the thing about, the reason we're talking about relaxation exercises actually is we're going to, why do we need relaxation exercises? And so we're coming back to that age old subject of stress. Now the thing is stress. Everywhere. Life is stressful and a lot of your students will be experiencing that. So whether you, whether your students in the car are students themselves, or whether they're working or whether they have families. Whatever is going on in their life is likely to be causing stress for them. Now, the reason this hasn't, the reason we want to talk about this, the reason why we think it's important is because stress builds and every time we have a stressful experience, we. Feel, stress and tension in our bodies, but then what happens is we tend not to release it very effectively when the stressful moment has passed. And so this means that stress builds over time the effects of stress in the body. Build all the time, and they build up gradually. And so you'll often have people, and you will often experience yourself that sort of like, oh, I'm really stressed. My neck really hurts, or, oh, my shoulders hurt, or My back hurts, or This hurts, this aches. I am feeling really stressed all the time, even when I'm sitting down at the end of the day, and it's because we don't release that stress very effectively. Now, if we go back to caveman days, we would, you know, the stress would be coming across. Something dangerous while we were out hunting, um, whether that's another person or an animal or whatever it is. But then we would be moving, we would be actively running, fighting, hiding, doing something to then release that stress afterwards. So why is that important? Well, if you have a student getting in the car and they are stressed, they've had a stressful day, a stressful week, stressful month. Then where on the stress dial are they before they even start their lesson? So if you've got a student who's getting in the car and they're already at 70 or 80%, and then on top of that they're looking to build new skills, learn something new, do something, which actually is quite stressful, it's gonna push them outside of their comfort zone, then it is not gonna take much to tip them over into. Overwhelm, meltdown, panic because where they're starting is that they're already stressed. Yeah. Whereas if you've got a student who has been doing some relaxation exercises, been doing some mindfulness or some other stress management strategy or technique to manage their stress, then it may be that when they get in the car, they're only at 40% or 50%. Yeah. And that then means that if they're learning something new, if they've been pushed out of their comfort zone in their lesson, they might hit 60 or 70. So they're not gonna hit that panic meltdown so easily. It doesn't mean that they won't hit it at all, but it's much more difficult to hit a hundred percent stress if you've started at 40 or 50%. Whereas if you're starting at 70 or 80%, then it's very likely that you are going to hit that hundred percent. Um, meltdown status. Now, don't get me wrong, we don't want people being so relaxed that they, they get in the car and they're only at 10% because then they're not gonna be with you at all. Yeah. We need a level of being awake, being aware, having attention and focus. So we don't want people horizontal. Um, but. We, you know, we want them in a good place. And so it's just bearing in mind where is the student when they get in the car with you, and what can we suggest to them to make sure that they're not at those really high levels of stress. And then going straight into something challenging and having a meltdown, because that's gonna really impact their learning. And just a simple question when they get in, when they get in the car is, you know, how are you feeling today? And again, some people might just go, blah, and they, you, you get it, you know, you, everything comes out well, sometimes for that is, again, a fantastic clue for you. Let's just take a minute. Yeah. You know, the, you know, you see the person walking to the car, you know, your intuition is kicking in this person's, you know, rushing or they've just slammed the door shut to get out the car to get in back in your car with you. You know, there is something happening. And I think it's a great, uh, skill for you to have is how do we deal with this as instructors, trainers. Yeah. And don't forget this is building habits for them as well going forward once they've passed their driving test. Yeah. This is where you get that opportunity to bring in those higher levels of the GD matrix. Yeah. You know, how do your thoughts, feelings, emotions. Impact your driving behavior. How do they impact you going forward? And if you can get somebody in the habit of this in their lessons, they're much more likely to take that forward into their driving in the future as to how am I feeling and how might that impact my driving? So this is important. So stress? What does it look like? Yeah, well, I mean, you've already mentioned some of that haven't you? That um, those classic signs of like, oh God, and even maybe, I'm sure you get them where they jump in the car and go, oh my God, the day I've had today. Yeah. And then it is like, okay. What's happened, so that would be a first stress symptom that you might be able to notice, but maybe you've got somebody who hasn't given off any clues when they've got in the car, and maybe they're just being really quiet because sometimes stress comes out in different ways for different people. So some of the things that you might see if somebody has that consistent stress, um, and this builds up tension in the muscles. So one of the things that you'll find is that people who are very stressed are likely to have stiff jerky muscles, stiff jerky movements. So this might mean that their steering isn't very smooth, that their pedal control, their gear control isn't. Smooth as you might like it. So you might end up with those jerky movements and everything being a bit sort of like stop start, stop, start, which adds to the stress because when you're driving like that and it's not running smoothly, you might stall you so, or you know, all of this can just add in and make things worse. So watching out for that, those stiff jerky movements, anger. Yeah, and it's that being very quick to anger. So if somebody's very stressed, they're much more likely to have less patience with themselves, with other road users, with pedestrians, and it. Builds. It's one of those things that if you get angry and then it rolls and it gets bigger and it gets bigger, it's a snowball. It's a snowball. It's a snowball, isn't it? So if you see a student, their body language changes and their shoulders gradually rise, then that's a real symptom in the car. The chances are he's got tunnel vision there. Yeah. So he's probably not got that real nice wide vision where he can look ahead and where he can see everything. The bigger picture of what's going on. He's probably just quite tunnel vision, focusing in on whatever is right in front of him or whatever. He's looking out, whatever he perceives as the danger, probably one thing as well. Yes. You know, and we drive him. We know that, you know, we, we use that peripheral vision all the time, whereas if you are just focusing on one thing, the car in front, we can't plan properly, you know? And that again, could cause us that stress. You know, not being able to plan, prepare, yeah. Those are the sort of things that we are looking out for. And again, they might get in the car okay, but then something triggers it might be a situation. So, yeah. Again, you know, there's, we, we've gotta be this detective as we keep saying, notice the body language, notice what's happening. Ask those questions, how are you feeling? Yeah. And so the whole idea, the reason we're talking about relaxation exercises is we're aiming to try and avoid some of this. We are aiming to. I try and encourage people to be in the best place that they can be by you. Maybe using some relaxation exercises before they come to their lifestyle. But also we've got a couple of tips for you to use in the car as well. So let's move on to those. So here's our few tips just to help relax, you know, outside of those lessons, outside of the car. And again, you know, slow down. I mentioned people rushing to the car. Relax, enjoy. Um, take it easy, you know, chill out if we can. Yeah. Easier said than done sometimes. Yeah. I mean, this is about having strategies in your life where, yes, life is stressful and there might be bits that are stressful for you, but making sure that a student is also doing the things that they like, doing the things that they enjoy so that there is some balance in their life. Yeah. And if they can. Do things that they love. Spend time with people that they enjoy spending time with or doing things that they enjoy doing, then that will help balance out the stressful parts of their life. So it's all about getting a bit of balance in there. So relaxation doesn't all have to be about specific. Relaxation exercises. However, having said that, is listening to relaxation. Audios, having said if somebody finds it really hard to relax it, you know, having, using resources, using relaxation, audios, there's loads out there to dedicate a little bit of time to relaxation, but even just listening to your favorite music, yeah. Can really reduce that stress. So, you know, it doesn't have to be meditation or, you know, those sort of things. It can be just your favorite music. Yeah. Um, and even just walking. You know, just being outside. Bit of exercise. Bit of what our classes, movement. Yeah. Being active, moving your body. So again, we mentioned caveman days. We are designed to move, we're designed to be active and that does help release straps. So tips for in the car, in lessons. But again, in the car, you know what we're, we're gonna give you a mindfulness checkin in a minute, but just take some time. If you are know something stressful has just happened in the car, you know, cut over and just take in where you are. So yes, exactly that. Getting out of the car. So while the tip is for in the car, once you've pulled over. Getting outta the car can make a world of difference to somebody. So just being able to get out of the seat, get away from the roof, um, and step outside of the car just to take a moment. Um, just even if it's just walking around the car once or twice can make a real difference. So there's one, but also we, we covered some other things we talked about. Those white knuckles, didn't we? That gripping the steering wheel. So when you're at the side of the road, if somebody's been gripping the steering wheel, get 'em to grip it tighter and then release and that getting them to, yeah, getting them to grip tighter is quite important. 'cause it's really hard to say, relax, this can't. But actually, if you can really. Tighten up as tight as you can. It's much easier than to do a release afterwards. So there's that. And that goes the same for the shoulders as well. So if somebody's been driving with their shoulders up here, get 'em to take them right up to their ears. And then drop them down. So much easier to relax your shoulders if you've taken them to the extreme, and then you can drop them back down again. It's quite hard to release the lovewise. Sometimes I get 'em to just rid, you know, get the shoulders up as far as they can, and then I go just a little bit more and they go a little bit more and then drop them. And that extra beer is, you know, and what they're doing is they're tightening those muscles that extra. Couple of seconds really, isn't it? Yeah. And it's, you know, these, these little tips here don't take too long to do, but it's something they can not just do in the car, they can do in life. You know, if they're sitting at home feeling stressed, they can do that. You know, people probably won't even notice them doing it. Yeah. You know, it's those sort of tips that we're talking about. And then other things like, you know, shaking it out, having a yawn, having a stretch, all of those things will help to release a bit of muscle tension, smiling. Releases tension, releases, stress, and then of course not forgetting a couple of our favorites. Humming and singing, right, aren't they? You know, some people might even sing to themselves as they're driving. You know, they put the, put the music on. Sometimes people don't even need the music. They just sing, which is great as well. So again, think of what is best for them. One size doesn't fit all and get 'em to try different things as well. They might not have thought of doing any of this, and so have a play. So we said we were gonna come on to the mindful reset, and this is really quick and simple to do. Yeah. Um, there's no need for it to take very long, and it doesn't have to be over complicated either. And so the idea with this is that when you are pulled over safely at the side of the road. You encourage your student to just ask them what can you see to have a look around outside of the car? And it might be that if they struggle a bit with, what do you mean then? Can you tell me three things that you can see? Tell me five things that you can see. Tell me three green things that you can see, or red things. So if you need to add in a bit more instruction into it so that they understand what they need to do, but is basically what can you see? And there's no wrong or right answers for this. Yeah. You know, this is just what can you see? Yeah. And then what can you hear? So getting them to swap their attention from what they can see to what they can hear. And then what can you feel? And if they struggle with this one, then get 'em to move in their seats a little bit, or wiggle fingers, wiggle toes, and notice the physical sensations of what can they feel, what are the physical sensations that they can feel? And they don't have to tell you. They are, it, it is optional. Yeah. They can just, it, it is just asking the question and getting them to notice it for themselves. Yeah. And it, you know, if you are in the spring or summer, uh, parked to the side of the road, what can you smell? It might be that fresh cut grass. Or it might be that, you know, the blossom off the trees or whatever it may be. But again, what can you smell or what can you taste? So it may be that they can still taste the coffee that they had before their lesson or something they've, yeah, so, so noticing any lingering tastes from something that they've had to eat or something they've had to drink, and it all is all about moving them around their sense. Is moving their attention from and distracting them in a lot of ways from whatever it was that was making them feel stressed. So it just allows their body and their mind to have a little reset and to help relax them back down. Yeah, I think, and you can use this anywhere, you know, this could be something that they use, um, before a test or an exam in school. Um, it could be that they're going to. Wherever you know it, literally, and no one needs to know they're doing it to themselves either. 'cause it's, you know, see, hear, feel, you just use those free and it, you know, you can just ask themselves those questions at any point. I. And this is a perfect one to do. Right at the beginning we talked about those students who get in the car and they're in a rush and a fluster, and they're stressed before they start. This is a great one to use at that point, and the brilliant thing about it is that you do it for yourself at the same topic. So what you're actually giving is yourself and your student a little reset before you then bring your focus and attention. Which is great. Thank you for listening. Find out about the different ways that you can work with us on our website www. confidentdrivers. co. uk and begin to transform the way you feel about driving.