[00:00:00] Hey, hey, welcome back to Selling Your Expertise, the podcast that helps women confidently sell their skills without leading to them needing to take a shower. Okay? That feeling that when you're like, oh my goodness, that was not me, that is not what you're gonna find here, and that is not. The type of sales processes that I teach.

I'm your host, Renee Hribar, and today we're getting into something that affects every single entrepreneur I've ever worked with, including myself, and that is mindset, specifically the mean girl voice in your head that says things like, you're not ready to sell this, and you're not good enough to charge that, or.

They'll think you're annoying if you make an offer now. Sound familiar? Those are, I honestly the same things in my head and it's not about curing it. It really is about living with it. It's about establishing [00:01:00] tools that you can use to work with it. Not if, but when. It rears its ugly head. So if this sounds familiar, I wanna talk to you about a person that I've worked with.

She is so brilliant, but I will never, ever share the names of my clients. And so for this story, we'll call her Sally. She is a brilliant brand strategist. She has done a award winning work in the agency world. As she's built her career. She decided to hang up her own shingle when her second child was born, and just the amount of childcare she lives in Southern California.

It just didn't make any sense financially and her husband and she made some budget accommodations where she was able to stay home with both kids, work part-time, hang up her own shingle and bring her brilliant brand strategy brain. That's a lot of bees. Love liter. I love alliteration. Do I? But I can't pronounce it.

Or I can't annunciate it to the world. Right. How [00:02:00] can we. Bring her brain to the world. She's talented, experienced, and ready to be able to support her clients, but she. Was having real serious, mean girl issues. She always felt confident having the bigger brands behind her, but that didn't take away her actual skill sets.

She was giving away her services at first, giving them away to the yoga studio. She took her, mommy and me classes at giving out away to the massage therapist, giving her brand strategy away to the salon. Where she would get her hair done, you know, every few months. She had skills. She has systems, but when it came to making offers, that inner mean girl came out swinging and it nearly stopped her from moving forward.

She came to me, she met me because I had done a webinar and she had signed up and it was. As she admitted later, [00:03:00] sort of a last ditch effort, she wasn't sure if she was even going to be able to make this work because she couldn't charge. She felt so disheartened. She knew how much she was worth. She knew and saw what her counterparts were doing in other areas, but she just couldn't get her head around it.

It was such. A difficult uphill battle from a mind space perspective. So repeat after me selling is a head game, and I'm gonna give you the same permission slips that I gave her and it turned everything around. So number one, you are allowed to sell something that comes easy to you. I'm gonna say that again.

You're allowed to sell something that comes easy to you. Next, here's another permission slip. You are allowed to be paid very well for it. [00:04:00] You're allowed to do it even while you are still nervous. So that was another thing that she used to bring up to me, said, oh, hi Renee. I have butterflies in my stomach.

I don't know, I think that's a red flag I shouldn't bring this person on as a client. I shouldn't, I shouldn't send the proposal. And I said, said, in no uncertain terms, that's just being nervous. It's like right before you walk down the aisle, you know, at this point she was married to her husband for over a, you know.

A, a decade and and I'm like, did you feel nervous? And she's like, oh, yeah, yeah. I go, well, it's not anything except jitters. And it's just because you're so excited to be able to help people. And honestly, again, like this is not. I'm gonna get my mindset right once and then I'm all set. This is not one perfect pushup makes you fit, right?

So here is your action step today, and this is exactly what finally helped her get over this, to the point where she was able to move forward and [00:05:00] make offers and make money. So I want you to name your inner mean girl. Seriously. Give her a name. This way you can talk to her and you can say things to her like, sit down and be quiet now.

So mine, her name used to be called Bossy Brenda. Now to all of my friends out there who maybe named Brenda, don't worry, it's not you. This is from someone that I knew in high school. That's the, the person I was channeling. Her name was Brenda, and she was very bossy and very mean to me at least. And so I called my inner mean girl bossy, Brenda.

But that was a. Skill that I learned, a tool that I used. I did not always have this tool. And I have been run over and left for dead by my inner mean girl too. And so did my client. And this is what I told her and it worked. And of course, many, many, many clients and students and my programs and coaching services have reported back that when [00:06:00] they named their inner mean girl, it made all the difference.

So. I want you to write down the thoughts that this inner mean girl is saying, like a note to you from, in my case, bossy, Brenda. You will be shocked how ridiculous some of them sound on paper, like when you actually write it down. So my client here that I'm giving you this story around who we're calling Sally for this story, she burned hers in her outdoor fire pit.

I'm not kidding. She said it felt great to watch her inner mean girl's words go up in smoke and I. Can relate to that. I do not have an outdoor fire pit right now, so I couldn't do that. But I really, really think it's fantastic. PS in my old corporate days we did do this exercise. It's, there's, it's sort of a version of an exercise from some guru that we listen to and note to self, make sure it's outside.

If you're gonna burn anything, go outside. I [00:07:00] had a metal trash can and we burned some of our bad thoughts in them. Outside would've been better. So if you wanna know that story, you better get on my email list because I talk about that and other things right on my email list. It's so fun there. You can hit reply to any email I ever send you and ask me anything.

So come back Friday to hear what happens on the other side of this mean girl story. What to do when you're ready to build confidence. And finally, kick that mean girl to the curb. For now, take the first step and name her. See you Friday.