[00:00:00] Henry: Um, what's good?

[00:00:07] Heckler: Tell a joke.

[00:00:08] Henry: Okay. Do you ever notice how uh, dudes will get me too'd and try to get out of it by going like, "God forgive me, even though I was molested by a priest."

[00:00:15] Heckler: Yeah. What about it?

[00:00:17] Henry: It's funny, right?

[00:00:18] Heckler: Yeah. Really funny.

[00:00:20] Henry: Like Armie Hammer. He tried to save face, but no one cares. You'd think he'd find some acceptance among cannibals, right?

[00:00:26] Henry: But even woke a*** cannibals are like, yo, cancel this guy. He'll, he only eats ...this racist only eats white meat.

[00:00:33] Heckler: All right, that's enough!

[00:00:40] Henry: Come in.

[00:00:41] Sanjay: Hey, congrats on the set!

[00:00:43] Henry: You sure we heard the same set? I bombed.

[00:00:45] Sanjay: Yeah, I know. I was doing opposite.

[00:00:47] Henry: What's doing opposite?

[00:00:48] Sanjay: It's when you do the opposite thing of what's actually happening, 'cause it makes the other person feel better.

[00:00:52] Henry: Oh, like lying.

[00:00:54] Sanjay: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Brian's therapist says that it helps in moments of emotional distress.

[00:00:59] Henry: Well, in that case, I guess I should get ready for my encore.

[00:01:02] Sanjay: Yeah, about that dude. Um, the Pussycat canceled the next show.

[00:01:07] Henry: For real?

[00:01:08] Sanjay: Well, uh, they canceled you right from the show. The show is still happening, but you're, you know, you're not.

[00:01:14] Henry: Dude. You're supposed to be managing this, bro. What are you even doing?

[00:01:19] Sanjay: There are a few ways to manage something that is as dead as your career right now. Okay? Listen. Listen. What would you rather eat when you're sick? Oatmeal or daal?

[00:01:30] Henry: What do you mean? Like, are you a therapizing me right now?

[00:01:33] Sanjay: No, no. It's a metaphor. Just answer the question.

[00:01:34] Henry: Is why are you...

[00:01:35] Sanjay: ...just answer the just answer.

[00:01:36] Henry: daal. Daal. obviously.

[00:01:37] Sanjay: Exactly. You've always been a more delicious and interesting than your current comedy routine is allowing for. Making a successful business is about finding your niche. And as a brown dude, that niche is often not getting lost by trying to gauge your proximity to whiteness. You feel it?

[00:01:54] Sanjay: So, um, be spicy, textural, not goopy and bland. Upma, not oatmeal.

[00:02:01] Henry: Okay. Spicy and textural. Okay. f***. That was, that was a good pump up. What's our next show?

[00:02:08] Sanjay: Ah, no. No, Nope. The comedy community in New York is tighter knit than The Unification Church. Unfortunately, word got out around your oatmeal set and we're not gonna be able to do shows for a while.

[00:02:20] Sanjay: Hey, it's gonna be a good time to develop a new type five, make some tiktoks, make some reels.

[00:02:26] Henry: Do people really care about tiktoks?

[00:02:27] Sanjay: It's a perfect place to try out new material without worrying about what cuisines people prefer, and you'll get lightning-fast feedback.

[00:02:35] Henry: Oh, I don't wanna.

[00:02:36] Sanjay: All right. Whatever. Anyway, I'm gonna see if we're still entitled to the free beer.

[00:02:46] Kaasni: Hmm.

[00:02:47] Henry: Hey আম্মু, can you, uh, move the phone up? All I can see is your chest.

[00:02:51] Kaasni: Henri. I've been calling you all night, but who cares about their poor mother who cooks and cleans and dedicates a life and used to taking care of their son? Right.

[00:02:59] Henry: Sorry, I was performing.

[00:03:01] Kaasni: What time are you coming home for dinner? It's late already and I'm tired.

[00:03:04] Kaasni: I made মাছের ঝোল, but it's cold by now. Would you like to eat that or not? Or maybe, I don't know. I'll just throw it away, I guess.

[00:03:11] Henry: No, no. Save it for me. I don't know when I'm gonna get back, but um, I'm still working on some comedy stuff. Can you please just move the phone up?

[00:03:21] Kaasni: Sure, sure, sure. I'll just save it for you for whenever you come back.

[00:03:24] Kaasni: Don't worry about your poor mother, who every day is getting closer and closer to the end! Who knows how many dinners I have left with my son? This could very well be the last one. And you have "comedy stuff" to do, so pay no mind to me. Okay? I'm sure death, a heart attack or an aneurysm, or stroke, or even a subway stabbing would be less painful than knowing how little my own son, my own son, cares about seeing me in my final moments of my life!

[00:03:55] Henry: Jesus  আম্মু, . You're not even sick. Okay, so stop being dramatic!

[00:04:00] Kaasni: There's

[00:04:00] Kaasni: pain in my chest. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is a, it's a pain. It's, it's coming from inside. It's coming outside. It's a pain. Oh my God.

[00:04:07] Henry: Okay. All right. You look fine from here.

[00:04:09] Kaasni: Oh, no. Okay.

[00:04:09] Henry: I gotta go.

[00:04:10] Kaasni: One second. My pain. It's coming out!

[00:04:12] Henry: Love you.

[00:04:12] Kaasni: It's come out!

[00:04:15] Henry: I got it.

[00:04:19] Henry: Brown moms are so dramatic, right? You'll tell them, mom. I'm gonna be late for dinner and they're like, "well, I'll just go die right now. It's no problem. You go have fun with your friends. I'll just lay down and end it all." Okay. Hold on one sec. "Yeah, sure. Miss dinner. Why don't you also shoot me in the head and sh** on my corpse?"

[00:04:43] Henry: This is... not so bad. Okay, what else? We got? "Beta. It's important to be in touch with your sexuality. Okay. Butt, butt stuff was invented by the Hindus."

[00:05:00] Henry: Funny, funny.

[00:05:01] TIKTOK: "My mom is a tiger mom 2.0."

[00:05:04] Henry: I, so I got an audition for a guy living in the Midwest, right? And I was like, okay. I made it finally, not Typecasted, right? Not a taxi driver or whatever. Turns out I was a terrorist who was gonna try to attack the White House, which is crazy 'cause I'm not even white enough to attack the capitol!

[00:05:18] Henry: Dude, I've been so typecasted as an actor these days. I've started saying 'namaste' in the audition room. Have you ever noticed that white dudes are the only ones walking around naked in the gym? Right when you walk in, right? There is, is Mr. Johnson with his Johnson, dude wearing literally nothing, striking up conversations about how the market's doing.

[00:05:35] Henry: I'm like, dude, your, your balls are on my thigh. I don't care about the Nasdaq right now! And why is your dick so long? It's not big. It's just long. What's that about?

[00:05:44] Henry: Holy sh**.

[00:05:47] Brian: Can we order yet? They're 45 minutes late and we're gonna miss the brunch window, guys.

[00:05:52] Angela: I wouldn't be able to get anywhere on time with that paper bag on my head.

[00:05:55] Kevin: Is he still wearing that thing? Hey, watch it.

[00:05:58] Angela: Dunno. Haven't seen him in a while. Also, why are we crammed in the way back of the restaurant?

[00:06:02] Lisa: The paperback was just a gag for his TikTok and we're back here because Henry wants to have brunch unbothered. He's been getting a lot of online attention lately.

[00:06:11] Lisa: Haven't you seen?

[00:06:12] Angela: No, I don't use social media ever since I heard that lecture about how it causes premature cognitive decay at Brown. I need all my mental power if I'm gonna learn canto before I see my aunt.

[00:06:21] Lisa: Why does it feel like I'm the only one who actually does the work to support and nourish this friend group?

[00:06:26] Kevin: Monnie and I only went to that first gig he had. And it was kind of rough.

[00:06:30] Lynn: Well, it was his _first_. Were you ever good at anything your first time?

[00:06:33] Kevin: Of course I was. Otherwise my parents would've thrown me out of the house way sooner.

[00:06:37] Brian: Alright, I'm looking, wait.

[00:06:40] Henry: "Living in the Midwest,"

[00:06:41] Brian: what the?

[00:06:41] Henry: "Dude I've been, so..."

[00:06:42] Brian: --These videos have like 600,000 likes.

[00:06:45] Angela: This one has a million views.

[00:06:46] Henry: Have you ever,

[00:06:46] Angela: is this real? How the hell did this happen?

[00:06:49] Lisa: His bit hit the 'broad yet niche' equilibrium. You know, brown people tok loves him. Straight white bro tok hate watches him. Gay tok loves him talking about dudes in locker rooms. Even wellness tok loves his sh** on imposter syndrome.

[00:07:02] Brian: Lisa, I've never heard you be so, um, supportive of Henry.

[00:07:07] Lisa: Well, maybe we're too hard on him sometimes, you know, we should all be supporting each other more.

[00:07:12] Sanjay: No, no photos, please. Everyone out of the way. Everyone outta the way. My clients need some space. Henry, is that you?

[00:07:18] Henry: Who is this 'henry' you speak of?

[00:07:20] Kevin: Why are you dressed like that?

[00:07:21] Henry: You mean this baby?

[00:07:22] Kevin: Yeah. The fake beard that looks like glued on pubes. The vests, the super preppy outfit?

[00:07:27] Henry: Hey, don't talk to Kal Penn like that.

[00:07:30] Brian: That's a Kal Penn voice?

[00:07:31] Henry: Yeah.

[00:07:32] Brian: Does Kal Penn even have a voice?

[00:07:34] Henry: Ha. See it's working.

[00:07:36] Sanjay: We disguised him so the paparazzi wouldn't be able to recognize him.

[00:07:39] Angela: That's a terrible idea. Why would you dress like someone more famous than yourself? Also, you look nothing like Kal Penn.

[00:07:45] Henry: Okay. News outlets mix up people of color all the time, and they get ultra-shamed for doing it. We figured that if they see the photos, they won't be able to tell who it is, and so they'll end up not using them anyway because they're afraid of the backlash.

[00:07:57] Sanjay: Genius idea, huh? My my idea, right?

[00:08:00] Angela: I guess.

[00:08:02] Henry: Look, Angela. When you become famous like me, I mean _if... _you'll have to go through great lengths to dupe the paparazzi. I rode here in the trunk of an Uber, completely unsecured over speed bumps.

[00:08:13] Sanjay: It was an Uber black Tesla Y, great trunk space. Plenty of room for the body to roll around.

[00:08:19] Henry: What?

[00:08:20] Sanjay: Hey, I got to take a call.

[00:08:22] Kevin: So, I see you fully branched out into Desi content.

[00:08:26] Henry: Authenticity is where it's at, man. Now. Who wants a signed photo?

[00:08:30] Sanjay: Holy sh**.

[00:08:31] Henry: What?

[00:08:32] Sanjay: You'll need to sit down for this.

[00:08:33] Wilfred: We're all literally sitting.

[00:08:35] Sanjay: Henry, I booked you for a live set on Chatting with Chummy tonight.

[00:08:40] Henry: Wait, what? Dude, do not bullsh** me. Are you serious? Prime time spot?

[00:08:45] Sanjay: Prime time. My little Starling! Chummy is a big TikTok stan. Someone dropped off their show tonight. In the middle of the midst of his swiping, he stumbled upon your page. It's so kismet. You're gonna sh** yourself when you hear who the guest is.

[00:08:57] Sanjay: It's a very, very prominent Muslim.

[00:08:59] Henry: Riz Ahmed?

[00:09:00] Sanjay: Cold.

[00:09:01] Henry: Mahershala Ali?

[00:09:02] Sanjay: Freezing.

[00:09:03] Henry: French Montana?

[00:09:04] Sanjay: Very warm. It's Bella Hadid!

[00:09:07] Kevin: Isn't she? Dutch?

[00:09:08] Brian: Dude, that's huge! Henry!

[00:09:09] Angela: Your star is rising, dude!

[00:09:11] Lisa: See what support does! Maybe if y'all supported me more, my life wouldn't be falling apart.

[00:09:16] Brian: For stealing pills from your pharmacy?

[00:09:19] Angela: You really think you're gonna lose your job? Do they even know?

[00:09:22] Lisa: My boss called a meeting.

[00:09:23] Kevin: Yeah, you're

[00:09:23] Kevin: getting fired.

[00:09:24] Lisa: What kind of effed up karma is this? Huh? All I do is give, and all I've done is give, and I'm about to be high-key unemployed. And where are my day ones? Hmm? What am I gonna do for money?

[00:09:35] Henry: I'll give you a signed headshot free!

[00:09:37] Lisa: I'm. good.

[00:09:39] Angela: Maybe you could get Henry to help you monetize your social. We all thought you had a sugar daddy before you were dealing anyway.

[00:09:44] Lisa: That's not funny.

[00:09:45] Sanjay: Henry, hate to cut this short. We gotta get you dressed.

[00:09:48] Henry: I'll always make time for the little people. Y'all better tune in tonight. Good luck.

[00:09:58] Sanjay: Here it is.

[00:10:01] Taxi Driver: Sanjay?

[00:10:02] Sanjay: Yes, sir.

[00:10:04] Henry: I think I'm a little nervous actually. You think Chummy is like actually a fan? Do I even have enough material to go up tonight?

[00:10:12] Sanjay: You'll be fine. Remember we talked about stick to the stuff that's been working. Your story as a brown Muslim king. It'll be great. Spicy textural, right?

[00:10:21] Henry: Right. Spicy textural.

[00:10:24] Taxi Driver: Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you Henry Pasha? 'Henry been laughing.' The TikTok personality?

[00:10:30] Henry: I prefer a comedian, but ...

[00:10:31] Taxi Driver: i, I can't believe it man. I thought so. I wasn't sure at first. You know, you look mad familiar. Like, maybe I'm confusing you with this other famous guy, you know, Kal Penn? I was kind of nervous to ask you, but

[00:10:43] Henry: No, no, no. It's me, man.

[00:10:45] Taxi Driver: I just have to say, your sh** is so funny, dude. It gets me through my shift every day.

[00:10:51] Henry: Thank you, bro.

[00:10:51] Taxi Driver: No, no, no. Really. I'm originally from Pakistan and like that sh** you talk about really hits home.

[00:10:57] Henry: I wasn't expecting a gas up right now.

[00:10:59] Taxi Driver: Yeah, as an immigrant, that sh** resonates, dude. Also, I, I read on Twitter today like, are you really doing a set on the Chummy Grenier show?

[00:11:06] Henry: Yeah. Yeah. Tonight.

[00:11:08] Taxi Driver: That's insane, dude. I can't wait to tell the folks back home they love you. They can't believe how mad you got some people.

[00:11:15] Henry: Wait. What?

[00:11:16] Taxi Driver: Yeah. Yeah. Over there. They want to kill you for the sh** you've been saying. You know? It's kind of crazy. I mean, maybe not like kill you, kill you. That's kind of like a strong word, but, oh, like forbid you from entering the country or making you a public enemy or banning you from their social media. You know, that kind of like normal stuff. Like, I think it's so cool, man. You're fearless that I f*** with that.

[00:11:34] Henry: Wait, what do you mean?

[00:11:35] Taxi Driver: Alright, this is you. Good luck tonight, brother. We'll all be watching. Okay? السلام عليكم!

[00:11:40] Henry: و عليكم السلام.

[00:11:41] Henry: That was weird what he said, right?

[00:11:46] Sanjay: Look, are you seriously phased by one hater? The more successful we are, the more haters we'll have.

[00:11:51] Henry: Yeah, yeah. I know, I know, I know. hecklers....

[00:11:55] Sanjay: Okay, so what do you think? Should we go with like the Desi look, show off some of that pride, that loud brown audience?

[00:12:00] Henry: I don't know. I, I don't wanna stand out for my clothes.

[00:12:03] Sanjay: Dude, you're doing standup on the biggest stage in New York City tonight. You gotta rep!

[00:12:08] Henry: Dude, I just wear a hoodie and some band shirt every goddamn day. Why do I gotta turn some like Bollywood f***ing villain tonight?

[00:12:14] Kaasni: Henry, it has been two hours. I've been listening to your friend talk on and on and on about outfit choices.

[00:12:20] Kaasni: It is like an endless sea of misery that is breaking my will to live. This is our home, not a century 21. Can you please ask him to leave?

[00:12:29] Henry: আম্মু, Sanjay's just helping me dress.

[00:12:31] Kaasni: I don't trust him. He was in the system and his suits are too tight.

[00:12:35] Henry: It's all part of the hustle, mom. Okay. S** sells. And bad boys. I'm like a bad boy. All right? I'm gonna, I'm gonna be on TV tonight, too.

[00:12:45] Kaasni: Does this mean you'll be moving out then?

[00:12:47] Henry: Okay. Let's not get crazy. All right? But, but soon after everything pops off.

[00:12:51] Sanjay: Kaasni, your son booked a huge spot on Chatting with Chummy Grenier tonight.

[00:12:56] Kaasni: Who?

[00:12:56] Henry: Dude, she doesn't know Chummy Grenier. She doesn't ...আম্মু. It's like the, it's like the Aamir Khan of, of, uh, of America.

[00:13:04] Sanjay: He's a late night host, but there's a very famous Muslim guest tonight! Bella Hadid!

[00:13:09] Kaasni: The Real Housewives of Orange County is Haram. You tell them you will not do this, henry!

[00:13:15] Henry: আম্মু, haven't you always wanted me to become successful and well liked?

[00:13:18] Kaasni: I would've settled for you doing the things I tell you to do and coming to the dinner table on time.

[00:13:22] Henry: Dude, I'm about to be the pride of the neighborhood. Just wait. Next time you go to the Masjid, you'll be beaming with joy from all the good favor I brought you.

[00:13:29] Kaasni: The neighborhood has seen your tiktoks, and they do not laugh. I assure you.

[00:13:33] Henry: They don't get it. It's funny. It is for my people. It's not for your Uncle.

[00:13:36] Kaasni: Henry. Why must you make fun of our culture? Hmm? Do you hate me? Do you hate your father? Do you want her to die?

[00:13:44] Henry: No.

[00:13:45] Kaasni: What? Because your Nana and Nani during the partition lost both legs, both of them. Your Nani had five miscarriages and your Nana lost his mind, but then he found it again and they are not going through one 10th of the pain--.

[00:13:57] Kaasni: Okay. Okay.

[00:13:57] Henry: Whoa. Whoa. What? Just chill! I mean... what? Trauma!

[00:14:02] Kaasni: All this mockery. It stabs like little tiny needles into the core of my soul. Promise me that you'll not make fun of our life, of your heritage, of your ancestry on this television show. Do this one thing I ask, save your father and I from a world of pain and death and misery.

[00:14:21] Henry: Listen, I promise not to make fun of you. All right? I'm just trying to bring some authenticity to my material. Okay. And will you please get outta here and chill the f*** out?

[00:14:29] Kaasni: No mockery. And don't let this prison friend of yours dress you. I don't trust him.

[00:14:38] Sanjay: Okay. What's wrong with this? Should we like do one more button or?

[00:14:41] Henry: Yeah, let's do four.

[00:14:48] Sanjay: Woo. So exciting. I can't believe this is your debut. Remember, spicy textural, keep it specific. Hold for laughs. No matter the circumstances, do *not* look Miss Hadid in the eye. Okay, আম্মু you watching?

[00:15:03] Kaasni: I guess so.

[00:15:05] Henry: Hope you're proud because if you're not proud now, I don't know when you will be.

[00:15:12] Kaasni: Okay.

[00:15:12] Henry: I'm gonna assume that all means I love you and right back at you.

[00:15:18] Chummy Grenier: Your next guest is a comedian who has taken TikTok by storm. With over 40 million likes and 2 million followers, it's safe to say his appearance tonight will break the internet. Making his 'Tonight' show debut, please welcome the very funny Henry Pasha!

[00:15:35] Henry: what's good? What's good? Hello. It is amazing to be on tv. Thank you, Chummy, for having me. You may have seen my work on platforms like TikTok, but in case you haven't, I'll do a quick intro. Yes, I'm a proud Muslim American. Yes, my mom from Bangladesh and my dad's from Pakistan. You can imagine why they sleep in different beds. Honestly, if they had it their way, they'd sleep in different countries.

[00:15:57] Henry: Now, most people in America don't know where that is on a map. Or you say Bangladesh and Pakistan, they're like, why'd you say India twice? Right? And I think they know a lot about me based on the way I look and my name. 'cause here's the thing, I'm gonna get real for a sec.

[00:16:12] Henry: Sometimes I just wish I had a white mom growing up. I mean, easier chores, right? White mom chores are like, Hunter, take out the trash. And Hunter's like, "mom, you're a b****!" "Hunter, please!" "Fine, slut. I'll do it."

[00:16:25] Henry: Immigrant mom chores, they're like, "Hey, go fix my business." That's a level one chore at my house. Growing up I'd be like playing video games and my mom's like, "Hey, get me a passport." I'm sorry guys. I can't come play outside. I have to go take on the US government. Immigrant Moms are just brutal. One time I texted my mom, 'I love you.' Her response was, 'sounds good.' That's crazy, right? One time my brother texted her, 'I love you,' she wrote back 'LOL,' okay, this woman will never say the words 'I love you.'

[00:16:57] Henry: I could give her one of my kidneys. She'd be like, 'I... like your vibe.' And I, I love my, I'm not hating on my mom. I, I love her. Okay?

[00:17:07] Henry: And, you know, immigrant moms also be body shaming on FaceTime, right? This, this is my mom on FaceTime. "Hello, you're fat. Hey husband, come look at your fat son. He looks like an elephant. And you know how elephants have good memory. This one never forgets to eat!"

[00:17:25] Henry: Just, the level of _roast_. Lemme ask you this also, lemme ask you to the crowd who has a mom that can aim the FaceTime correctly, right? What do they do? My mom? Starts and then right here, I'm like, 'mom, it's FaceTime. Not left t** time. I'm having a full conversation with your breast.' And listen, half of me is disgusted and half of me is like, 'hello, old friend.'

[00:17:50] Henry: And listen. Yeah, look, I mean, I love my mom. I love her. She's the woman in my life, but it's tough. And immigrant family is tough. And my mom is Muslim as well, which is like double immigrant.

[00:18:00] Henry: And it's tough sometimes to get into religious talk. Right? Any Christians in here? I mean, Christianity, Islam, it's the same religion, right? They both have one God, both who started in the Middle East, right? I guess the only difference is that Islam is the one true religion. Sorry. Rules are rules. Enjoy the show, you infidels.

[00:18:22] Henry: Just kidding. That's what muslims say, because Islam is the one true religion, you know?

[00:18:26] Henry: But I, I've been having some doubts growing up. I used to be like, you know, top five Muslims of all time, right? I was good. I was praying five times a day, going to the mosque every day. Then I had sex once, and I was like, 'God might not be real.'

[00:18:39] Henry: I lost every Muslim value in the four seconds I lasted. Like, as I finished, I was like, Googling Buddhism, Googling tantra.

[00:18:49] Henry: And I haven't, I haven't told my mom I can't talk to her. She's always worried, you know? 'cause my mom is like pure drama. She's all drama. You know, my curfew growing up, 11:00 PM. If I came home 11:05, she'd be like, 'Hey, you don't listen to me, so just k** me. Just do it.' I'm like, mom, it was five minutes. She's like, 'every minute was one year of my life.'

[00:19:08] Henry: Drama. Drama. Right? And what's next? They're always like, 'your father and I were, worried sick!'

[00:19:13] Henry: They always gotta loop in the dad to the stress. Right? 'Your father and I were, worried sick.' As she's saying that, I can hear my dad snoring, but it's like he's in full REM sleep, mom, dreaming about the woman he actually wanted to marry!

[00:19:28] Henry: But okay, I see she's in pain, so I say, 'okay, mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' I look her in the eyes and I say, 'I love you, mom, so much.' And she looks back at me, tears welling up in her eyes, and I get so excited. She's about to say it. It's about to happen. She's gonna say the words! And she whispers to me.

[00:19:45] Henry: 'Islam is the one true religion.'

[00:19:48] Henry: And that's my time. This for you, mom. Thank you. Thank. Have a good, good, good.

[00:19:59] Henry: Hey Bella. Hi.

[00:20:01] Bella: Oh mon Dieu! Hank, right?

[00:20:03] Henry: It's Henry.

[00:20:04] Bella: That was Incroyable. Like mon papa is so similar. I haven't laughed that hard in forever.

[00:20:10] Henry: Oh, thank you so much. That's, uh, you know why I do it, for the family.

[00:20:14] Bella: Oh, that's so sweet.

[00:20:17] Henry: Yeah. I mean, yeah, I know this is direct, but, um, I love the work you do for the community. Would you wanna get a coffee sometime and talk about, uh, increasing our, uh, impact.

[00:20:27] Bella: Oh, you are cute, but I prefer toxic men. You seem too safe.

[00:20:32] Henry: No, I, I can, I'm, I'm a bad dude.

[00:20:35] Sanjay: You just got rejected by Bella Hadid. How cool is that?

[00:20:39] Henry: Yeah. Cool. Since when was she French?

[00:20:43] Sanjay: How do you feel about the set?

[00:20:44] Henry: You know, I, I think they're really feeling it.

[00:20:47] Sanjay: Yeah? How do _you_ feel?

[00:20:48] Henry: I laid it all out there and, and did what I wanted to do.

[00:20:53] Sanjay: I'm getting so many email from agents who wanna rep you, but you wouldn't wanna drop me, right.

[00:20:58] Henry: Talk about that later! Ammu? Ah, it's the gang.

[00:21:03] Brian: Oh, Henry. Um. How does it feel to be the big time now? Chummy's is huge. Congrats.

[00:21:09] Angela: Oh yeah. Congrats again. How did the set go?

[00:21:12] Kevin: I saw Barstow just reposted it.

[00:21:13] Brian: They did?

[00:21:14] Lisa: Did any of you catch it?

[00:21:15] Angela: No. I had a Chinese lesson. Brian?

[00:21:18] Brian: Uh, I've been doing self-care, Kevin?

[00:21:20] Kevin: I forgot about it until Lisa texted me. I'm sorry.

[00:21:25] Henry: Okay. Yeah. Well, can you at least like look what they're saying in the community? I'm freaking out.

[00:21:29] Kevin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:21:30] Henry: Just, okay.

[00:21:31] Brian: Um, not funny.

[00:21:33] Henry: No.

[00:21:34] Kevin: The only day worse than 9 11 in American history is when this guy performed on chummy.

[00:21:39] Angela: Whoa. You're on wholesome Asian news, dude. Uh. Chummy forced to make public apology after renounced Muslim comic's controversial set. Community totally shamed by this loser?

[00:21:54] Chummy Grenier: I just wanted to come on here and apologize for the comedy set we aired on our last episode. Chatting with Chummy and its writers offer a sincere apology to all members of the Muslim community. Our show is meant to be inclusive and celebrate diversity, not exacerbate divides.

[00:22:14] Henry: What the hell is this? I didn't say anything bad.

[00:22:17] Angela: Wait, doesn't Chummy Have a segment, 'lose your lunch' where guests can either come clean about gossip or eat weird food from a mystery lunchbox? And it's usually ethnic stuff, like how inclusive could he be?

[00:22:27] Sanjay: Ooh, we're trending on Twitter for the most death threats. A lot of them geotech from Pakistan.

[00:22:34] Brian: Dude, I think you've been canceled. Like canceled, canceled. Not actually, but you know, canceled by your community.

[00:22:43] Lisa: Any good feedback?

[00:22:44] Sanjay: Barstool Sports gave us an offer for a podcast.

[00:22:46] Henry: They did?

[00:22:47] Sanjay: I mean, not yet. I'm just putting that energy out there so we can manifest it.

[00:22:51] Henry: Oh my God.

[00:22:52] Kevin: Now I've gotta watch this. I'm jumping off.

[00:22:54] Brian: Congrats again. Um, uh, and sorry.

[00:23:00] Angela: You'll be okay, Henry.

[00:23:01] Henry: Uh. Mom, it's me. Good morning.

[00:23:09] Sanjay: You've been getting a lot of press. She's gonna be really proud of you. I know it.

[00:23:14] Henry: Mom. What's with all the newspapers? Jesus. There must be 10,000 papers. Wait, 'the bomber'? They use the name of my set. Dude, my set is gonna be everywhere. We could get a special out of this.

[00:23:29] Sanjay: Aw, she bought all the papers with your face on it that she could buy.

[00:23:33] Henry: Jeez. Finally proud of me. She's proud of me. আম্মু! It's your son who's in the papers. I'm, I'm on the papers. আম্মু!!!

[00:23:45] Kaasni: Get out.

[00:23:47] Henry: Oh, there's that classic Kaasni sense of humor. I see you.

[00:23:50] Kaasni: Why, for your entire life, do you not just do the one thing I've asked you to do? I said, Henry, do not talk about me on television. I said, Henry, be a good Muslim. I said, Henry, don't use the B word. Especially not on television.

[00:24:06] Henry: I don't recall that last part.

[00:24:07] Kaasni: Because of you, I can't show my face at the mosque anymore. I can't do anything. I can't go anywhere without someone now asking me, isn't that your son, Henry, 'The Bomber?'

[00:24:18] Henry: Yeah, that's the name of my set.

[00:24:19] Henry: Mom. I could get paid to do an hour long show. Isn't that what you wanted when you came to America? Success? And for people to know your son's name?

[00:24:26] Kaasni: Yes. But with 'doctor' preceding it. You have to leave. I don't want you here. I've already had to buy all the newspapers in town so that no one would see what a huge disgrace you have brought upon your own family.

[00:24:39] Henry: I thought you bought them all 'cause you were proud of me.

[00:24:43] Sanjay: But the set made you feel a lot Kaasni, right? I mean, Whitney Cumming says, as comedians, 'our job is to not be safe, but it is to be polarizing, and any reaction is better than no reaction.' Right? Mrs. P?

[00:24:56] Kaasni: All the uncles on the WhatsApp groups are calling you, ' c***.' Did you know that they're calling you 'c***?' I don't even know what that means.

[00:25:03] Henry: Well, c*** short for cuckold is, um--

[00:25:06] Kaasni: --just collect your things. If you want to throw your family and your one true religion under the bus, then you can sleep in that bus that you ran us over with. If you want to c*** on your culture, then you go c*** it somewhere else. Okay? Get out.

[00:25:22] Sanjay: Damn. You crushed a set on prime time, and your mom hated it, dude.

[00:25:26] Henry: And now I'm homeless.

[00:25:28] Sanjay: I would offer you my place, but Selena and I are gonna be sampling datura. Think you can find another spot for tonight?

[00:25:35] Henry: Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, you're my manager and everything, but yeah, no worries. Whatever.

[00:25:41] Heckler: Yo. It's Kal Penn!

[00:25:43] Henry: No, just another brown person. I mean, do we all look the same to you? f***ing stupid costume.

[00:25:50] Henry: Okay, here we go. Just put that pillow here. It's a little cold out tonight. Should have brought a blanket.

[00:26:07] Henry: I am not going back to prison, man.

[00:26:10] Lisa's Neighbor: Yeah. Hey, are you on duty?

[00:26:12] Henry: What does it look like? I'm trying to sleep here.

[00:26:15] Lisa's Neighbor: How much would it be to go to Astoria by the bridge from here?

[00:26:19] Henry: No idea, dude.

[00:26:20] Lisa's Neighbor: I've got cash. Please, man.

[00:26:24] Henry: Fine. Like $50.

[00:26:27] Lisa's Neighbor: Okay, great. Thank you so much. Hey, what's your name, dude?

[00:26:34] Henry: Henry.

[00:26:35] Lisa's Neighbor: Wait, you are that guy from the comedy set.

[00:26:40] Henry: Look, that whole TikTok thing about ISIS was a joke, except my mom beating me with a L-SAT book. That was, that was real. That. I can drop you off here if you want. Prorata. All right? Just gimme 10 and I'll call it even.

[00:26:51] Lisa's Neighbor: Dude, your set, 'the bomber.' That sh** was hilarious, man. Hilarious.

[00:26:58] Henry: Really? You liked it.

[00:27:01] Lisa's Neighbor: Oh my God. It was tremendous. I rewatched that like 17 times. I loved it. Oh dude, you're going places. You know why?

[00:27:12] Henry: Because I've got to flee all the people who want to put me in the world of pain?

[00:27:15] Lisa's Neighbor: Because you tell it like it is. Because you're making fun of the sh** that actually happens to people like you. You have to deal with so much every day, and that sh** is depressing, but it's also ridiculous as hell, but good for you. Turning it into comedy gold.

[00:27:32] Henry: Yeah. I mean, how do you think you ended up in my car? It's 'cause you're a racist, drunk idiot. This is not a cab. You just think all brown people look alike.

[00:27:43] Lisa's Neighbor: Oh my God, you're right. I totally do think all brown people look alike. I'm such an idiot. See. You are hilarious.

[00:27:53] Henry: Thanks.

[00:27:54] Lisa's Neighbor: Keep doing what you're doing, dude. Keep pushing boundaries. That's what comedy is about.

[00:28:00] Henry: Yeah, I guess it is. Is this where you want to be dropped off?

[00:28:05] Lisa's Neighbor: Whoa, we're back already?

[00:28:07] Henry: Wait, I think my friend lives in this building.

[00:28:10] Lisa's Neighbor: Really?

[00:28:11] Henry: Yeah. Yeah. She's like a hot pharmacist, Asian, like, five four. Mink eyelashes, always drinking a boba tea.

[00:28:18] Lisa's Neighbor: She lives across the hall from me. No way. Yeah, that's her apartment right there. Looks like she's home and having a weird party. Those are cool rainbow strobes.

[00:28:31] Henry: Maybe I don't have to sleep in this Nissan tonight, after all.

[00:28:33] Lisa's Neighbor: Can I tell you something? I guess a lot of guys coming and outta that apartment really a lot.

[00:28:42] Henry: Seems like none of your business. Maybe she's just dealing drugs or something. You ever thought about that?

[00:28:49] Lisa's Neighbor: Right? She's so unassuming, but clearly she's got an aggressive side. She's like a little dragon lady.

[00:28:58] Henry: I see you've moved on to the east Asians. Didn't you say you'd give me $70?

[00:29:03] Lisa's Neighbor: Oh yeah. Right.

[00:29:09] Henry: Cha-Ching. On my continent, we call that karma, b****. Wait, wait. Hey. Hey. Hold the door.

[00:29:18] Henry: Lisa. Lisa. It's me. Henry. Open the door. I know you're in there, Lisa. Ah, it's emergency!

[00:29:30] Lisa: Hold on.

[00:29:34] Henry: Oh, hello. What goes on in this apartment?

[00:29:38] Lisa: Get in here, Henry. What the f*** are you doing here?

[00:29:42] Henry: I could ask you the same thing. An angry, sexy lady. What is all this? Or lack thereof, I should say. And where's Lisa?

[00:29:50] Lisa: It's me asshole.

[00:29:52] Henry: Oh, wow. Wow. Oh wow. These disguises really do work. I didn't recognize you with the blue wig. Maybe all Asians do look the same. Can I borrow that from you when I leave?

[00:30:04] Lisa: What are you doing here?

[00:30:05] Henry: Okay, well, um, you know how I thought my mom was finally gonna be proud of me for my set? she's not. She evicted me, actually, and bought every newspaper in town with my face in it just to destroy it. I don't have any place to go, and it's brick out.

[00:30:22] Henry: And I tried sleeping in my Nissan, but some drunk racist guy who turns out to be your floor mate mistook me for a gypsy cab. And then I remembered you live here.

[00:30:30] Lisa: So you wanna stay here?

[00:30:32] Henry: I mean, I hate to be one more friend mooching off your kindness. But can I be one more friend mooching off your kindness? One night, unless you have someone coming here for something.

[00:30:46] Lisa: Jeez. No, I don't have anyone coming here.

[00:30:50] Henry: So why are you dressed in a strip of electrical tape?

[00:30:53] Lisa: Because I'm broke. Okay. And you know how I said I thought I was gonna get fired from my job? I don't _think _I'm getting fired. I did. Three weeks ago. I didn't tell anyone because, shocker, I didn't wanna seem like I didn't have it together.

[00:31:09] Lisa: And now I'm in like, a financial ruin, and I'm like, totally f******, my mortgage is like due Monday and I'm freaking out. And Angela kept saying, Asian Cammers make quick cash. I thought maybe I'd try out.

[00:31:22] Henry: Damn. So we're in the same boat. Maybe I should start camming too.

[00:31:25] Lisa: This isn't funny.

[00:31:26] Henry: Okay. Maybe I can put the homies on it. Get 'em to tip ya.

[00:31:30] Henry: Okay. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. Okay, sorry, sorry. I know you're stretched thin and I shouldn't have asked to stay here. I don't wanna add your burden.

[00:31:39] Lisa: Wait, you wanna stay here then? Tell no one and help me set up the ring light.

[00:31:49] Henry: You sure?

[00:31:50] Lisa: You pay a quarter of the mortgage and assist me in my videos.

[00:31:53] Henry: Deal. Thank you. I'll, I'll do whatever you ask madam lisa!

[00:31:59] Lisa: Just shut up and screw that thing. I'm live in like five minutes.

[00:32:06] computer: Welcome to new to camming .com. Dirty. H***** Filthy.

[00:32:11] Lisa: Just sit on it.

[00:32:13] Brian: Okay, now. Nice. I'm gonna eat it.

[00:32:16] Lisa: Poor, sick puppies. You like this, huh? Huh? It's all creamy up here. You know what that feels like? It's great.

[00:32:22] Brian: Not the usual style, but.

[00:32:23] Lisa: Hey, chore boy.

[00:32:25] Brian: This is great.

[00:32:25] Lisa: Hey, chore boy. You're hungry, right? You said you're hungry.

[00:32:28] Brian: This is so meta. All right. I like it. Yeah. What? Hell, they're taking some artistic risks here. Wait, is that Henry, Lisa?