Heather Shannon (00:01.334)
Hello, my friends. We are here today with an amazing guest and we're going to be talking about sexual trauma today. So our guest is Shannon Curtis and she is the founder of Angel Goddess Healing, a sanctuary that helps individuals of all ages heal from trauma, break free from addiction and deepen their spiritual connection to their higher self. She's also the author of No More Monsters Under the Bed, Shining Your Light on the Dark, a heart-led children's hybrid book.
designed to gently guide young readers and their caregivers through healing from fear and childhood trauma. So welcome Shannon.
Shannnon Curtis (00:34.988)
Thank you so much for having me today.
Heather Shannon (00:37.256)
I know you're doing amazing work and our listeners may not know this is our third attempt to record the podcast. And the first time I had to reschedule, I think it was because my cat was dying. I think that was why. I forget exactly why, but I'd have to look at the emails. yes. And then our second time we had an interesting experience where you're also a medium. That's not our main topic today, but you're also a medium.
Shannnon Curtis (00:42.922)
Third time's a charm, third time's charm.
Shannnon Curtis (00:52.074)
Mmm.
Heather Shannon (01:06.808)
and my cat was talking to you from the dead.
Shannnon Curtis (01:10.102)
Yes, yes, because they're the same as humans. So they just are the same energy and it just turned into a more of a session. And so it's like, no, we're not supposed to talk about the sex today. We're supposed to talk about the cat.
Heather Shannon (01:11.338)
Yes. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (01:18.879)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (01:23.902)
you were very kind and gracious about it. But yeah, was like a lot. was a lot. I was like, okay, yes, I'm going to process. Which you were also very nice about that. So, but I'm excited to also talk about this topic, but which is important, right? Like so many people have experienced sexual trauma. It's a hard thing to talk about publicly. So also just thank you for that. It's a hard thing to talk about period for people. And, and I think a lot of people are also maybe not aware of
how it's affecting them. It could pop up at kind of weird times in their love life, in their sex life. And people don't always know, you know, where they can go for help and how to heal. So would you be willing to share a little bit about your story? Okay.
Shannnon Curtis (02:08.97)
Absolutely, and that's why I love the merging of the two of us because we can talk about, I always say it's the body, mind, and the soul. And so I work on the soul part, but the body part is so important. And so that's where my story kind of comes in, walking you through how my journey looked appealing sexual trauma and how it played a part in my intimacy. Because I always say intimacy is like into me, you see.
Heather Shannon (02:26.816)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (02:32.182)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (02:32.745)
And so if you're not feeling safe with someone or a partner in that way because of sexual trauma, it's very hard to experience full intimacy because you don't really want to be seen because we're still carrying that blanket of shame. And so my story started with I was molested when I was four. And so I had a remembrance not until I was 40.
Heather Shannon (02:43.797)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (02:47.254)
Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (02:54.158)
the full memories come up in my 40s. Because what happens is the younger you are with your sexual trauma, the less you remember. It's really a gift because we kind of disassociate from it. Because when you're a child, you don't understand it. You don't understand your body. And so we disassociate it from. But with that, then we disassociate from everything with our body. So later on, it shows up.
Heather Shannon (02:55.152)
Wow.
Heather Shannon (03:06.122)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (03:19.296)
in different ways in the bedroom. And so until I really realized what my trauma was, I kind of start putting the pieces together. And then once I healed, now in my partnership I'm with now, we can experience that full intimacy because I really had to let go of the shame of it. And so that's what today's kind of talking about, how that shows up in your bedroom.
Heather Shannon (03:27.456)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (03:42.068)
Yeah, and I think you're bringing up a good point too, that even if you're not the person who experienced sexual trauma, maybe your partner has, you know? I think a lot of people have been on the other end of how do I support somebody who's been through this?
Shannnon Curtis (03:54.794)
Absolutely. And then it's also the programming. So that's the other thing with women, right? We don't learn how to protect our power. And so it's that thing of that is the source, our womb, that is where all our power's from. And so we kind of learn just to give it away and different things, but we get this programming that we're attached to that, that makes us worthy of that power. And so what I do is I help women say, we have the power. We get to decide.
Heather Shannon (03:59.799)
You
Mmm.
Heather Shannon (04:15.199)
Hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (04:20.376)
when we give it away. And so when we start reclaiming our power back by healing our sexual trauma first, then we can start to say we have discernment and then we get our power back. like, I get to decide if I'm in the mood, it's my body, my choice, but it just goes deeper. And so sometimes it's like we latch onto that, you know, in the Me Too movement, all those are great, but we have to understand, we have to reclaim our power back. And that starts with healing.
Heather Shannon (04:26.471)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (04:35.06)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (04:46.942)
our wounds and it might not be sexual trauma. It might be a boy that broke up with you and somehow you took on, I'm not worthy enough. I'm not worthy enough. And so sometimes we give it away to try to feel worthy. And so that's why it's like, it doesn't always have to be sexual trauma, molestation, but in a sexual trauma way of what we see on TV and now with the pornography and all these things are pushing us in this corner.
Heather Shannon (04:51.348)
Mm-hmm
Heather Shannon (04:55.42)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (05:04.854)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (05:12.834)
that we kind of need to stop and look as women, do we like this? Do we like that? And so that's really what I try to help with my clients is helping them get their power back and the men. I work with a lot of men with sexual trauma. There's this very different, okay? So ours is internal and we hold onto that chain, but a lot of times with the men, especially let's look at children, that are molested and a lot of times it's men, okay? So then there's that shame piece.
Heather Shannon (05:16.285)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (05:26.55)
Okay.
Heather Shannon (05:35.978)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (05:41.548)
My partner that I'm with, he was molested by a female babysitter when he was three. So he was very common. So what happens is it confuses the men because they're attaching that and it's almost like their bodies are getting used against them because men have an easier time having erection. It's just is the body. And so when they get molested, a man or a woman, they attach to that. That's some kind of shame they were part of it.
Heather Shannon (05:46.454)
That's common too. Yes. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (05:57.641)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (06:07.104)
Mm-hmm
Shannnon Curtis (06:08.226)
And that's what happens. And so the men are very different, but it's the same thing. And so we have to heal their trauma by detaching from that, that their bodies didn't betray them. It wasn't their fault. It's never your fault, but we take on that shame. And so it's just time to start talking about the uncomfortable things. And then we can get to the root of it, which is trauma.
Heather Shannon (06:25.972)
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right. It's, it's interesting because it doesn't make logical sense that like when you're the victim in a situation like this that you take on shame, but it's pretty universal. That is actually what happens. And I think a lot of times it's too scary to think like we're actually just out of control. And, you know, like the caregivers or whoever is in charge didn't
Shannnon Curtis (06:49.379)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (06:53.882)
know, protect us in that way. Even if they tried to, even if they couldn't, even if they weren't there and had no idea, it's still kind of scary. So I think it's easier for people to kind of blame themselves in some way.
Shannnon Curtis (07:04.438)
Absolutely, especially children because they're not understanding what happened. And so they always say like sex is sexual exchange of energy, sacred exchange of energy. And so you hold onto that. That's why I say whoever you ever end up having sex with, you're exchanging energy. And so that's where I always say, be careful who you exchange your energy with. It's no different than who I meditate with or whoever I'm around because I'm gonna pick up on their energy. It's just again, that science.
Heather Shannon (07:08.21)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (07:17.813)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (07:21.395)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (07:31.938)
the science that comes in. And so the body keeps score. That's a big one on showing us how it ties into that, how our body and our trauma and where the trauma stays. And my trauma stayed in the womb. And I experienced five miscarriages. had endometriosis. Yeah, I had endometriosis by the time I was in high school. I had a bladder disease. two surgeries, hysterectomy when I was 30. I went through menopause at 35.
Heather Shannon (07:42.506)
Yeah.
Whoa!
Heather Shannon (07:53.846)
Wow.
Heather Shannon (07:57.504)
Whoa!
Shannnon Curtis (07:59.426)
These are all those things, those lists go on and on and on. And now I know why. I carried the shame of not being able to carry those babies to term and now I realize it was my body. It was just my body holding on to that. So I released it in plant medicine when I had the remembrance of everything, but I had to my perpetrator. And so that's the other thing is you have to forgive, let go of the anger.
Heather Shannon (08:09.493)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (08:19.196)
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Shannnon Curtis (08:25.75)
and I saw where the anger was and once I gave that up and gave it back to him but then forgave because he taught me the power of forgiveness. That's that exchange of it wasn't done to me, it was done for me. So now I can go forth and help other women to understand it.
Heather Shannon (08:30.293)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (08:45.366)
That's amazing. I just want to repeat what you just said. For people listening, the fact that you're like, this happened for me. That might be hard for a lot of people to get there. Did it take you a while to get to that point?
Shannnon Curtis (08:54.944)
And yeah, so with again, in my journey with plant medicine, I went to Mexico and I sat with the plant medicine, Ibogaine, and it's a really powerful one. And so that's what happens. It's like a dreamlike state. That's all I can say is you put a mask on and you're laying there. You're under medical supervision, but it's like a dream. If you've ever had a dream feeling like you're flying or you're doing, that's what it feels like. But that was the very first thing that came because that's why I went there to try to remember. I did six weeks at a treatment center because again,
Heather Shannon (09:01.513)
Okay.
Mmm
Shannnon Curtis (09:24.27)
I was addicted to pain medicine for seven years. The day I gave birth to my daughter, they gave me the morphine. So then I learned, oh, I can heal my pain, numb my pain, whatever you want to call it, with these pills. So that led me down addiction for seven years. And all it was for was just numbing. It wasn't to go party, it was just to be a mom, but it was just to handle my pain. So once I released that, there was still that last little bit that I don't think taught
Heather Shannon (09:27.234)
my gosh.
Heather Shannon (09:36.18)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (09:45.395)
Right, yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (09:53.016)
therapy can always do, we have to somatically experience it. It's like the book, the Peter Levine, The Awaking the Tiger, it's like you have to shake it off. And animals shake off the trauma, right? Like an Apollo gets chased, they don't get stuck. And so we have to shake it out. And that's why I tell people, however you do that, there's so many different ways. This was just my way to do it. And so for me, it helped remove my ego.
Heather Shannon (09:54.293)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (10:01.5)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yep. Like they literally physically shake. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (10:15.83)
There are.
Shannnon Curtis (10:21.75)
And so when I saw it, it was like watching a movie and I was outside and I was watching it. And I was on the left-hand side of the car and the male was on the right-hand side. And I saw in a very gentle way, but it was that remembrance of, my gosh, this is all true. And so it all came flooding back. But then I gave it back to him and I had the essence of God next to me. And I said, God, this is bad, the anger. And so I gave it back to him, but he's still right in front of me.
Heather Shannon (10:37.91)
Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (10:51.36)
and I'm just looking at him, but I'm seeing in the viewpoint of God. And I was like, he's ultimately no different. We just had some kind of contract, soul contract, that he was gonna do something, because if I want to experience forgiveness, guess what? Someone has to hurt me. That's how it works. So that's why he is my greatest teacher of unconditional love, because that's what I tell people. Forgiveness, it's not a choice. You can choose. You can choose it. I choose it because of how it makes me feel.
Heather Shannon (11:16.649)
Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (11:21.09)
So sometimes we hang on to that anger because we want them to hurt, but we're hurting. And so when I heal and I give the opportunity, then I'm offering healing to them by saying, I forgive you. I forgive you. And the other aspect of this is I did that for my perpetrator. Well, now I have a 15 year old daughter who I'm walking through of her own sexual trauma when she was young. And I had to sit in front of her perpetrator and I looked him in the eyes.
Heather Shannon (11:21.694)
Yes. Yes. Right. Yes.
Heather Shannon (11:41.76)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (11:45.846)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (11:50.979)
And I said, I know you did it, but I forgive you. I forgive you because I don't want to hold onto the anger. can't teach my daughter anger. I have to teach her love. And that is through forgiveness of the self and then another.
Heather Shannon (11:59.328)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (12:06.48)
powerful, you know?
Shannnon Curtis (12:08.012)
Yeah, and I have all the power. I have all the power. That's what you just said. I got my power back by saying you will no longer keep me in this anger. You will no longer affect my relationships. You're no longer coming in the bedroom with me and taking my power away. And it's through my voice. So I get to choose if I forgive you or not. But guess what? For me, it feels way better to bring it back to love than staying in that anger.
Heather Shannon (12:11.19)
you
Heather Shannon (12:23.953)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (12:33.41)
yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (12:34.924)
And so I offered and all I said is, I hope you get help. Please get help. Please get help. That's the power of it. It's on him. Whatever he does with it, it's on them. But over here, we're healing. We're healing. And so I'm walking my daughter through that of how she can heal. And I just told her the other day, sweetie, if you don't start healing the stuff in your body and letting it out, when you start dating or when you want to have sex one day, it's going to come back.
Heather Shannon (12:43.093)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (12:48.758)
That's amazing.
Heather Shannon (12:57.768)
mm-hmm mm-hmm mm-hmm yeah
Shannnon Curtis (13:02.412)
It's gonna come back. And so I'm teaching her to get her power back, but that's through her voice and her truth, but it's also through learning how to reconnect with her body.
Heather Shannon (13:12.874)
Well, you're being the example. Like she can literally watch how you're handling it, which is huge. And I mentioned that last time we talked that like most people don't get that in this situation, you know?
Shannnon Curtis (13:24.492)
And it's hard and I tell my clients, I'm not expecting you to get it right now. It's taken me a long journey, but I always say, start with gratitude. Find the things you're thankful for. And the one thing that you can start with this, thank you for showing me who I choose not to be. It's discernment. I don't like that. So now I know what I don't like.
Heather Shannon (13:32.404)
Yeah. Okay.
Heather Shannon (13:40.147)
Hmmmm
Shannnon Curtis (13:44.399)
I'm gonna figure out what I do like, what feels good to my body. And that's how you start reclaiming back in the bedroom, is it's very slow in working with a partner, but that's where you need to work with a therapist, a coach, whoever it is, because you're gonna have the things come up. I always say they have to come up to come out. That's where you need professional help in whatever way. But I love being a coach because I can share my story. And so that's that connection piece, that the therapy, I've done all that, but for me,
Heather Shannon (13:48.726)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (13:56.405)
Yeah.
Yes. Yes. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (14:07.583)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (14:12.77)
That's why wanted to become a coach so I can use my voice. I can use my story. So my four-year-old little girl who helped me write this book is all about that, is reclaiming my power. And every time I speak my truth and maybe I help someone or someone's listening to that, that little girl who went through that pain, that's the beauty in the pain that I found. It was worth it to help other people.
Heather Shannon (14:16.224)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (14:36.214)
That's so beautiful, Shannon. Like, do you ever just wake up and you're like, oh my gosh, like I've come so far. Because it really sounds like, I mean, wow, like night and day.
Shannnon Curtis (14:43.726)
Absolutely, absolutely. I do it because I have to do it because I want to. It feels good. But for my daughter, for clients. And so it's like that. If I'm going to lead the way, I need to show them that I can heal my and say, I forgave my perpetrator. But now I'm on the other side of it. So that's even more powerful because now I'm showing my daughter how to walk through it. And again, I cannot rescue her from the pain. But guess what I get to do?
Heather Shannon (14:52.904)
Yeah. Yes.
Heather Shannon (14:59.988)
Yes.
Heather Shannon (15:04.298)
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
And now.
Shannnon Curtis (15:11.796)
I get to teach her how to walk through her own pain and that's how powerful she's gonna be because I'm not gonna rescue her from the hard times. I will hold space for her, that's what I do with my clients and then there's times I'm the mom and I cry but other times it's just being there to hold her hand while she's walking through her journey.
Heather Shannon (15:31.862)
I keep saying very important things I just want to underscore. like, you know, so often when we love people, we want to take their pain away. We want to prevent them from going through the pain. And I think a lot of even like coaches or therapists want to do that. But you're like, it's actually important that the people we love experience the pain. Pain is one of the best teachers.
Shannnon Curtis (15:50.861)
You can't, you can't, yes, you block them from the lesson. That's what I always say. I am not going to rescue you from the lessons that you need. So again, with the perpetrators, you give it back to them, whatever they do with that, it's out of your hands because sometimes the justice system fails us, right? So we can't do anything, right? And people get mad, right? But that's how I take my power back is writing a book, telling my story. They can't quiet my voice.
Heather Shannon (15:55.135)
Yes.
Heather Shannon (16:01.27)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (16:08.224)
frequently. Yeah, yeah. Yes.
Heather Shannon (16:16.643)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (16:19.148)
So that's the justice I get is again, sharing it so I can help more men and women heal. And that's how we change the world guys. Literally, we start healing from the inside out. We start healing ourself, then we can go start helping others. So I had to go on my journey and now I can continue on by helping others because I walked through it and I understand it. So I always say there's a knowing, knowing so I knew it and then I had to understand it. That's in the freedom.
Heather Shannon (16:28.862)
It is.
Heather Shannon (16:36.554)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (16:41.962)
Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (16:47.928)
When you understand the lesson and you see it, you're like, thank you for showing me I can take my power back any time I want. I just have to know how. And that's where I come in. I really, truly feel like that's my mission here is to help people reclaim their power back, but through love.
Heather Shannon (16:56.116)
Yeah. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (17:04.79)
Yeah. And yes, I think that's what you said also about feeling like God was with you in this moment when you're like, re, because you weren't reliving it, right? Because in, in therapy, we talk about the idea that like, if you're reliving your trauma, that can be harmful, right? People can feel re-traumatized. So you were, you were viewing it from a safe distance. Yes. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (17:20.206)
Yes. I was watching it. Yes. That's the ego. I always tell my clients you have to get out of your head to get to your heart.
Heather Shannon (17:30.015)
Yes.
Shannnon Curtis (17:31.171)
And so for me, the plant medicine helped me remove my ego part. So I was just watching it. So I had no emotions attached to it. I literally was watching a four-year-old girl. And so was that. So I felt every emotion as soon as I saw it. And was in a very gentle way. It wasn't like I relived it. It was just a thing where I knew it happened. And so it was that moment of first I had relief, relief.
Heather Shannon (17:46.441)
Yeah
Heather Shannon (17:50.73)
Right.
Heather Shannon (17:54.226)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (17:54.863)
I was like, I'm not crazy. I know it happened, right? My mom, my parents, they asked me over and over if anything happened because I was taken by an older person. I usually say I was taken by an older gentleman. And I remember my partner, when I first said that, he almost started crying. He goes, do you realize you called your perpetrator a gentleman? And I said, that's how I saw him in it. It just comes naturally. And so it's that hard concept of I'm not saying for everyone, you're going to get there overnight, right?
Heather Shannon (18:06.634)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (18:16.598)
Hmm
Heather Shannon (18:21.706)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (18:22.432)
It takes a while and it takes a lot of work. It's not easy, but it's easy when you know it's worth it because who's more worthy than yourself?
Heather Shannon (18:29.63)
Yes.
I just wanna like frame that sentence. I think people need to hear that. And I think a lot of our listeners, there's actually a decent number of people who are in mental health or like sexual wellness that listen to the show. Thank you to everyone for filling out the survey and answering those questions last time. But yeah, I think most people are like on some kind of personal growth path if they're listening, but it's, I agree with what you said, talk therapy is not enough.
Typically, especially for things that are this deep. Talk therapy can be great if it's like, I just want to like change the way I'm communicating or I want to like work on. Yeah, yeah. It's yeah, it's great. It has its place for sure. But when it's deeper stuff like this, and the other piece I wanted to say was the energetic parallel. And that's, know, I've, I've seen energy healers as a client and have some people who are friends. And, and what I've really learned that's so fascinating is it's, it's surprisingly literal.
Shannnon Curtis (19:08.372)
It's the mind. It's the mind.
Heather Shannon (19:31.124)
You know, it's like our body typically has a very literal interpretation of the story that we're carrying. So if you're right, having like a pelvic pain, look at that. Like, is there something emotional there? Is there a story? Yes, just be curious.
Shannnon Curtis (19:31.17)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (19:36.718)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (19:44.877)
Be curious. I always say be curious. Our bodies tell us, like the book, the body keeps score. So it's like a scoring game. Keep it the lowest you can. And so that's like what I've been envisioning is what that would look like in the world. OK, so if we start healing the trauma backwards and we start healing all that. But what if we start from the beginning as well with our children? Right. And then we that's where that starts is building that. And it starts with like.
Heather Shannon (19:52.095)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (19:55.901)
Hmm
Heather Shannon (19:59.872)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (20:07.039)
Hmm
Shannnon Curtis (20:12.462)
having them have the less amount of score in their body. And that's that teaching them their body is a tool. And so if you listen to it and you're curious, it will tell you what's wrong. And I use my sister who works with me, she does equine therapy and she works with rehab patients. And like she said, goes, Shannon, I'm never talking about addiction. All we're talking about is trauma.
Heather Shannon (20:23.42)
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (20:36.3)
I said, of course, because again, the addiction is the symptom. I was only addicted to pain medicine because it was a beautiful tool to help me numb the pain till I could handle it. And so the horses help ground and they help ground your body back into your body. Because when you disassociate from trauma, that's what you're gonna keep doing. You reenact that, so you're gonna disassociate. We have to bring you back in the body. And so the animals help, dogs, horses, whatever it is.
Heather Shannon (20:37.215)
yeah.
Heather Shannon (20:51.6)
Mmm.
Heather Shannon (20:56.735)
and
Shannnon Curtis (21:06.232)
They help us reconnect with our body. And that's very, very important because until I fully reconnected with my body, that's when the intimacy started happening for me because I felt safe in my own body. And you have to feel safe to open up.
Heather Shannon (21:17.408)
Hmm.
Heather Shannon (21:20.918)
Wow. Yeah, that's, I have my pathway to passion method and like step one is like emotional intimacy and safety and creating that space. So yeah, it's so essential. What was your sex life before you did the healing and then what has it been like more recently?
Shannnon Curtis (21:37.743)
Yeah, so I was married for 15 years and I would say there was many times that I probably wasn't in the mood or I used alcohol, you know, that's thing I don't drink anymore. But I used that because I remember getting sober and I was like, how am going to be sexy? How am I going to do this? How am I? Yes, because it was that false sense of like, that's why people drink sometimes. It's like it makes you feel loosey and goosey. That's why. And so I always say, can you have sex in the middle of the day when you're completely sober and like, this is me and all the lights are on? That's interesting.
Heather Shannon (21:40.103)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (21:44.886)
Mmm.
Heather Shannon (21:52.294)
my God, that's so interesting.
Heather Shannon (21:59.497)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (22:07.125)
Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (22:08.482)
So that's where I am now, know, my partner, it's amazing because it's so funny, we'll meditate and you have the spiritual connection, but then it transfers over to the bedroom. Like I said, it's sacred energy exchange. And so it's this beautiful thing that my belief is, like the moment I feel things, the pineal gland and they talk about like that. So that's what an orgasm is, but it's supposed to be with another person. That is the only moment that you can feel God with another person.
Heather Shannon (22:19.03)
Mmm.
Heather Shannon (22:32.022)
Shannnon Curtis (22:37.676)
Right? So you have to do it yourself. That's that masturbation. You have to know your body and we don't like talking about it. It's all this yucky stuff. That is why sexual trauma is happening people because we're not talking about it. We're not talking about the uncomfortable things. So that's why. So when our kids, there were signs with my daughter, there's always signs. We just don't know what signs to look for. And so that's where again, the body, but we just have to bring it back to the mind, body and soul. And we just have to start.
Heather Shannon (22:37.942)
Hmm.
Heather Shannon (22:55.094)
Mmm.
Shannnon Curtis (23:06.606)
talking about the uncomfortable things that we don't want to talk about.
Heather Shannon (23:10.1)
Yeah. Yeah. You're right. It's a part of why this podcast exists because there's so much unconsciousness when it comes to sexuality. There's so much default programming that's really taking us away from what's authentic and what feels true for us in our sexuality. And so that's, yeah, that's a big part of why I do this. It's like, let's just unprogram all that and see how we actually feel and what actually feels right for us, you know?
Shannnon Curtis (23:37.359)
Yes, what feels good to us. And that's why I say with women, okay, our bodies are very different. There's a reason why it's easier for men to get an erection. It's not their fault. That's just their gift. Our gift is that selection. I always say mother nature tells you the answer. Okay. So there's a reason why there's breeding seasons. There's a reason why they have ruts because the males, the strongest males are the ones that reproduce, the, but the females are selective. So I'm like,
Heather Shannon (23:39.702)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (23:52.095)
Hmm.
It
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (24:04.244)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (24:04.96)
Women be selective, be selective because those are your genes you're passing on. But look to mother nature. It's not year round. They literally have breeding seasons for that reason. And so I always kind of keep it back to like, always say the answers are right in front of us. They're literally right in front of us. You just have to be willing to look. And so I've been working a lot with like mother earth and I'm like, okay, well that's where we live is mother earth.
Heather Shannon (24:07.529)
Yes.
Heather Shannon (24:12.99)
Mmm.
That's so interesting.
Heather Shannon (24:21.513)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm
Heather Shannon (24:30.303)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (24:30.91)
Female, you know, she we can do that. She has all the answers go watch what they do in the selective breeding There is a reason why so if we would follow that maybe we would have New programming of we have the power and we get to select the ones that are gonna do the work the best ones That's how it's supposed to that's how nature is. So we get our emotions involved
Heather Shannon (24:50.332)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's interesting.
Shannnon Curtis (24:54.798)
Because nature doesn't have emotions like we do. They don't get their heart involved. So we see past and we get in these toxic relationships because we're bringing emotion in and we're not listening to our bodies. And usually our bodies tell us and you have that attraction, you have that thing. And sometimes you don't trust it. It's telling you. Just listen.
Heather Shannon (24:58.784)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (25:05.226)
Hmm. Yes, yes.
Heather Shannon (25:13.48)
Mm-hmm.
Very, very good advice. I think our bodies are geniuses. I think at some point in my healing journey, probably in my 30s, I was like, my body is a genius. And it was like this surprise revelation, you know, of like, it's been here all along. Like, it's been telling me all these things. I can, yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (25:36.121)
Just waiting for you to listen. It's like literally I tell people it was waiting for you to quiet the mind to listen. You have to be quiet. I always say like prayer is talking, meditation, prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening to God. That's why you have to be quiet in meditation to listen.
Heather Shannon (25:42.421)
Yeah!
Heather Shannon (25:47.094)
Hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (25:53.537)
listen to the body, breath work, yoga, movement, whatever it is, slow down and we keep going faster and faster and faster and we're like we have no time. We keep literally putting more things in there and then we wonder why we don't have enough time to quiet the noise to listen.
Heather Shannon (26:01.769)
And now...
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (26:14.848)
Yeah, I mean, you're 100 % correct. And I feel like we have to be a little bit counter culture. And I think that's where the friction can be. like, you know, it's like, okay, I'm observing the culture and I can either go with that, or I have to like actively work to not go with that and really tune in. But I think that's where it's important to find, you know, people like you podcasts like this communities.
Shannnon Curtis (26:24.76)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (26:41.366)
You know, I live in St. Pete, Florida. There's like tons of, you know, wellness communities here. So, you know, find your people. I think that's important. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (26:48.59)
Yeah, find your place. That's how I say if it's not me, that's okay. Like that is okay. I'll have other clients use you, use whoever. That's why I say it doesn't have to be my way. The reason why I'm so passionate about my way is because the proof is in the pudding for me. It has served me. And so this isn't a job. This is my lifestyle. I live these words that I say. And so I am truly happy. And so this last year walking my daughter through the hardest thing ever, I was smiling the whole time too.
Heather Shannon (27:07.519)
Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (27:17.644)
because I knew there was lessons in it that were gonna be revealed later. And so that's why I say, it's like, yes, you can choose, we can't get away from pain, that is life. But suffering is a choice because suffering is being stuck in the pain. And so you have to move through it. But how do we move through it? You have to feel it. It comes up because it wants to come out. We don't wanna feel this way.
Heather Shannon (27:26.078)
No. Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (27:37.193)
I know.
Yep. Yep. Yeah. I, you know, obviously my cat died last week, so I've been experiencing some pain recently as well, but I also think it helps to just know like what works for you. I, this is gonna, sounds kind of weird, but like walking in nature has been very helpful for me. So move, yes. And I, yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (27:58.415)
Movement, getting it out. movement. See, that's the difference you just named it. It's mental movement. We do the suffering, go to the gym and we're just like, no, mental. That's like yoga, walking, swimming. Do something in nature. Again, connect to Mother Earth. She will tell you the answers. And it's like that. Just go within and quiet and do whatever feels right to you to help get it out.
Heather Shannon (28:10.219)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yes. Yes.
Heather Shannon (28:22.549)
Right. Yeah. Right. And there's no wrong answer with that, you know? So right. Yeah. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (28:27.47)
No, no, no, pick it. I always say pick it. Anything you want. It's like a navigation, a map. As long as you know point A to B, there's so many different ways you can go. And so I'm like, just pick, you just need to know your end point. That's all you need to know. If your end point is healing, just pick a modality. And if it doesn't work, try it again, try it again, try it again. And so that's what I do. I'm willing to try all these different things and all these different cultures and studying all different religions.
Heather Shannon (28:42.943)
Mmm.
Heather Shannon (28:48.053)
Yes, yes.
Heather Shannon (28:55.157)
Yeah, I love that.
Shannnon Curtis (28:55.18)
and I'm getting to take bits and pieces of all of it, and then I get to create what feels good to me.
Heather Shannon (29:02.903)
Yes, and I believe that when we decide what we want, like you said, pick your end point, the answers start showing up. Because sometimes we get caught up in like, but I don't know how. And it's like, that's true. And you'll figure it out. And there has to be a little bit of trust, yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (29:15.2)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Do you know what your yes, do you know where your end game is? That's why I always ask my clients if I could wave a magic wand and just say, you know, what is the grandest highest version of yourself? Most people don't know and that's okay. But I'm like, that is a great place to start with. Let's start with that first who you want to become. And then that's that man's manifestation. You start doing that. So when I envisioned
Heather Shannon (29:20.917)
Mm-hmm
Heather Shannon (29:28.427)
Mm-hmm
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (29:37.056)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (29:42.211)
who I am and starting Angel Goddess Healing, what is she gonna be like? She's gonna be someone who meditates every day. She's gonna be someone who starts eating and reading and all these things. So I started doing those things and then before I knew it easily became that version of what I wanted. But I had to envision her first and then look at what would she do? What would she do? And I did it and then I just became it. That's the being. I always say, I don't wanna read the book.
Heather Shannon (29:44.916)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (30:01.792)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (30:06.101)
Yes.
Shannnon Curtis (30:11.938)
I want to be the book. And then I wrote the book and then I had to experience the book. And it's that beautiful thing of life. Just that's that evolution. That's why we're here to learn.
Heather Shannon (30:13.427)
Mmm.
Heather Shannon (30:22.367)
Yeah, that's true. I mean, I can't think of any other reason why humans are here.
Shannnon Curtis (30:26.038)
No, my understanding is I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. So how do I have a human experience? Through emotions, okay? Through emotions. We have to feel them all. But what happens is we only like the good or we only like the bad. And so we kind of get stuck in one or the other. And so I always say it's like balance. You got to do the middle. And so we're going to have the good and the bad. But the reason why the understanding is discernment. So...
Heather Shannon (30:33.387)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (30:37.483)
Yep, yep.
Heather Shannon (30:42.335)
I know.
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (30:55.54)
If you don't, all you have is good, you're not gonna understand what is good. You have to have bad to understand the good. And it's really simple, but at the same time, it's all the program we do and it gets all that clutter in our mind. like you said, they don't even know how do I heal? How do I do this? They're not even realizing the real thing is you gotta know where you're going, who you wanna become.
Heather Shannon (31:08.223)
Yeah. Yep.
Heather Shannon (31:14.027)
Right.
Heather Shannon (31:21.697)
That's true. I mean, and it's interesting what you said also about how you didn't realize till your 40s kind of what had happened. You didn't remember. that is so common that I hear from people that it just pops up at some point. Usually I think that means you're ready to kind of heal or, you know. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (31:39.681)
I would say it comes up when it wants to come out. And another important aspect of my story that I don't always talk about and I'm starting to on my healing journey is when I was in college and I was drinking one night and so I blamed it on the alcohol but I was with someone and I wanted to go home, wanted to go home or I wanted to stay there. I'm sorry, I was so sick, puking and puking and puking. And he's like, no, go back. Well, anyways, all I remember is fragmented memories of the night.
Heather Shannon (32:01.303)
gosh.
Shannnon Curtis (32:08.844)
And I remember blaming myself because I remember saying, I was saying no, but I didn't say it out loud, right? That's that thing of, know I was drugged. I know that. I would know I was slipped something in my drink. I had all the puking and just like in and out of consciousness. But I remember I didn't say anything because I blame myself because I was drinking. And I was like, Shannon, if you weren't drinking, this wouldn't have happened.
And so again, I took on that shame. And so that's part of me talking about that, of healing that. I could not say for the longest time I was raped. And then finally, my somatic therapist, he was like, you have to say it. And I kept saying it and I didn't want to. before, because I didn't want to realize that that happened because I was holding onto the shame. So a lot of times that happens to young women and victims of that, that we think that and it's in the drink until you think, I just drink too much or it's my fault. And so that's it.
Heather Shannon (32:32.213)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (32:40.449)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (32:47.723)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (32:52.764)
yeah. Yeah!
Heather Shannon (32:59.253)
Yes!
Shannnon Curtis (33:00.256)
name that those predators use making us think so we don't tell. We don't tell.
Heather Shannon (33:03.328)
Yes.
Heather Shannon (33:07.957)
Yeah, that's that's another really common scenario. That's actually part of my story of becoming a sex therapist. I had a client that was sharing some sexual trauma related to drinking and not, think, also being raised more conservative with sex and the drinking kind of allowed some of it to come out, but then also led to some traumatic situations. And yeah, it made me realize like how integral like our sexuality is and how we feel about our sexuality to just like being a healthy person and being
safe and you know it's yeah
Shannnon Curtis (33:39.791)
that feeling safe to be seen. That's why I say, are you feel safe to be seen? Because if we don't, we're gonna put up walls. And so that's what my partner hopes. I'm like, he helped me take all the walls down. Like I always say, he loved my body before I did. He's been part of this journey of helping me do that. And so he loved my body before I did. And then I did. And then he gets the benefits of it. But that's what it was before in the beginning, it's like the lights off, eyes closed. And it was like, he's like, what?
Heather Shannon (33:47.061)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (33:51.511)
Aww.
Shannnon Curtis (34:07.68)
I didn't know what that was like, you know, that kind of thing. Cause I didn't want to be seen. I did not want to be seen. And so now I'm like, this is me. That's that sexuality. But I also know it's sacred and it's for him and nobody else. And it's like, it's like that thing of we're very sexual beings, but we don't know when and how, because we get all this false programming and using it for power and using it. you know, and then the women that are like, nope, I'm not going to have sex. I'm going to use it for power.
Heather Shannon (34:11.989)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (34:19.755)
Right.
Heather Shannon (34:28.171)
Yep. Right.
Heather Shannon (34:34.014)
Yeah!
Shannnon Curtis (34:35.798)
Right? Like that's what it is. It's that balance of knowing your power. But I always joke, say knowing your power, but using it for good, using it for good. So if I'm not in the mood, I can say that, right? This is what I'm needing. It's showing me there's something my body's not aligning. I get to have the power of the choice because it's my body.
Heather Shannon (34:43.113)
Yes, yes, think, yep.
Heather Shannon (34:51.701)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (34:57.239)
Yeah, that's important. And you know, so often I'm hearing people talk about like obligatory sex or like duty sex because like their partner like needs this and you know, they have to kind of fulfill that for their partner. And and then not surprisingly, it's like the the pleasure and the connection get lost, you know.
Shannnon Curtis (35:14.766)
Yeah, and the resentments come in because again, if you're giving it away because you think you have to, you're resenting them. Like I said, I know this is hard to hear, but it's your fault, meaning you're giving your power away and then you're angry about it, but you're not realizing you have the choice to say no. And so that's that thing of taking your power back. If you say, I'm not in the mood, honey, and they get really upset and rejection, do not rescue them.
Heather Shannon (35:19.645)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (35:25.717)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (35:33.153)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (35:38.643)
Yes!
Shannnon Curtis (35:38.713)
from the lesson of it's not about them. See, that's the thing. It's not about them, but that's our ego. We try to make everything about that. And so we think if we don't have sex with them, they're not gonna want us. That is just that back and forth thing of, again, the more we talk about it and kind of go down into that rabbit hole and find the root of it, it's because for some reason we have attached power to sex, power to money, power to, you know, the bad things. And I'm like, there is power in love.
Heather Shannon (35:42.569)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (35:49.995)
Right.
Heather Shannon (35:56.789)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (36:04.287)
Yeah? Yeah?
Shannnon Curtis (36:08.172)
because sex is for love, it's for reproducing, but we're using that power in the wrong way.
Heather Shannon (36:17.079)
It does feel like we've just gotten so yes, yeah, off track for sure. It's like, but like disconnected from ourselves. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (36:21.111)
Off track.
Shannnon Curtis (36:25.772)
Yes, yes, because we're doing that. We're literally making more disconnections. That's the other thing. We're longing for human connection. Okay. That's the piece of healing. But guess what we're doing? We're doing more technology, more phones. We're texting now. We're on Zooms, all these things we need to do, but that's what's happening. We're missing it. So it's like that piece of we're creating the problem. We're wanting more human connection, but we're putting things in the way of you and I of actually real.
Heather Shannon (36:33.129)
Yep, yep.
Heather Shannon (36:39.807)
guys
Heather Shannon (36:47.071)
Right. Mm-hmm.
Yes! Yes!
Shannnon Curtis (36:52.902)
So we're teaching our teenagers, boys don't know how to go up to girl and ask and say, do you like me? Do you want to go on a date? They text it. So there's that safety thing, right? And then we have the other, the bullies, the cyber bullies, because it's an extra piece. So it just goes down on and on and on, but that's what it is. We just have to see we're part of the problem, but we also are part of the solution. You just got to figure out the solution.
Heather Shannon (37:01.688)
I know. Yes.
Yes!
Heather Shannon (37:10.539)
Yep.
Heather Shannon (37:14.581)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we need to be the solution. So yeah, if you're listening to this, then you're part of the solution and we have to like take responsibility as the people who maybe are more conscious, you know, to lead the way.
Shannnon Curtis (37:26.365)
Yes, yes. And I say this too with abortions. It's our right to choose, right? It's just like, it should be our right. That's my belief. So again, my beliefs, we have a right to choose our body. But I also say to women, if you watch Mother Nature and you're really, really, really selective and only the best of the best that come back from the rut season or whatever, maybe, maybe.
Heather Shannon (37:30.549)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Agree. Right.
Heather Shannon (37:48.659)
Yeah!
Shannnon Curtis (37:52.335)
Just maybe we won't want to do that as much because it's with the right person. So that is that thing of saying, yeah, maybe we're the problem, we give away. And that's not in every situation, but that's what it is. It's that shame of thinking we have to have a baby, right? Like mother nature, they miscarry. I had the shame from miscarrying. It's because the fetus wasn't right. I had to do genetic testing and they were all abnormal. They would not have survived.
Heather Shannon (37:56.628)
Mm-hmm. Right.
Heather Shannon (38:04.075)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (38:08.535)
Hmm.
Heather Shannon (38:12.343)
Hmm
Heather Shannon (38:18.039)
Mmm. Okay. Okay. Mmm.
Shannnon Curtis (38:22.092)
So it gave me the peace and knowing that it's nature selection, but it goes on the opposite with abortion to yes, have the choice. Yes, have the choice, but maybe part of the solution is giving us the choice, but then choosing to be a little bit more selective of who we give our power away and who we procreate with.
Heather Shannon (38:27.542)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (38:40.523)
Right.
Heather Shannon (38:44.119)
Yeah. Yeah, which is hard. There's like a discipline to it because sometimes you're like, but I just want connection. And I know there was a time. I know.
Shannnon Curtis (38:51.586)
Yeah, find the connection with yourself. Find this thing. That's why I say that's masturbation, right? Like that, like literally connect with yourself. And then, you know, the other is just, I don't need it. It just feels better. It feels good. But, and then it has the, you know, reproduction part of it, but that's what is this time, all of this together. Sex is the mind, body and soul, but the mind, have to think about why we're doing it. That's that sitting in uncomfortable things and being like,
Heather Shannon (38:57.865)
Yeah
Heather Shannon (39:05.418)
Yes.
Heather Shannon (39:09.376)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (39:19.691)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (39:20.77)
Why are we giving our power away to anyone who will look at us and give us attention? Because maybe we're seeking attention. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (39:26.679)
I know. I know. Validation, yeah, all sorts of things. One thing you mentioned earlier that I wanted to circle back to was the idea that when there has been some sexual trauma, that like the signs were there. What are some of the signs that maybe people wouldn't fully realize that like, oh, there might be some sexual trauma here? Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (39:42.22)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, especially in children, what I found in working with clients, tummy aches. So that's what I've been teaching. My daughter has young kids. And so I sit with them, rub the belly. And so in my book, all the, it's kind of building in the chakras. And one of the, one is the lion, the sacral. That's your power, the roar, you know? So I started teaching with that where it's like, you let that roar out. And if anyone does that, you you roar at it. It's protecting it. But a lot of times it's in the tummy.
Heather Shannon (40:02.473)
Okay. Okay. Yep. Yep.
Shannnon Curtis (40:13.452)
And again, I'm not trying to go on this loop, but what do we do? We're numbing the answer. We're filling our kids with bad food and junk. So if they go to the doctor with a tummy ache, I bet you they're gonna say it's allergies or they're gonna say it's your food, blah, blah. So we're not really able to tell. And that's why I think the tummy stuff gets lost in the shuffle. A lot of times children are reenacting it, reenacting it. My daughter had that when she was like seven.
Heather Shannon (40:13.835)
Hmm.
Heather Shannon (40:28.15)
Hmm.
Heather Shannon (40:33.619)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (40:41.974)
And she was trying to say, I'm trying to tell you something happened. And we took her to a therapist, a trauma therapist, and they couldn't figure it out. And so she wasn't ready yet though. That was the other point is, I trust that I've let go of that shame. I've like tried, she was not ready. Her poor little body, I wasn't ready yet. You that was seven years ago. But that's what it is, is the signs of talking.
Heather Shannon (40:49.911)
mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (40:55.763)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (41:05.91)
And if they shy away, I remember in high school, I didn't wanna wear like spaghetti straps or anything too revealing. There was these signs that I was almost like inward ashamed of my body. That's huge sign. Yeah, and then it goes on the other end. Okay, so it usually goes one way or the other. And then you have the children that are walking around and wanting the attention or reenacting it. But then when you get into the sexual partners.
Heather Shannon (41:12.332)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (41:15.921)
Yes, I think I had some of that too. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (41:23.755)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (41:29.397)
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (41:31.764)
Usually it's like, you're like, I don't want sex, I don't like it. And then the other is then you have the promiscuous stuff because that I feel like is the trauma. You reenact it because you keep trying to heal it. You keep trying to heal it. Yes, you're trying to control it. And so at the end of my marriage, sorry, like seven years of my marriage, halfway through when I was in my addiction, I had an affair and it was for help. It was very short, but it was literally being like the alcohol and the pills. I was so numb.
Heather Shannon (41:37.387)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (41:42.547)
Yes, it's a way to try to be in charge, kind of. yeah.
Heather Shannon (41:52.63)
Mm-hmm.
Hmm
Shannnon Curtis (42:00.527)
And it was like, somebody see me, I'm hurting, I'm hurting. So as soon as that came to light, my mom was like, will you get help before she could even say the words? I said, yes, I was waiting for someone to ask me. Now I'm like, Shannon, you were worthy enough to say I need help, but that was that shame. I kept acting out. And so I always say, when you act the worst is when you need to be loved the most because you're trying to say something. So if your children are acting out or your partner's acting out, anyone.
Heather Shannon (42:12.641)
Wow.
Heather Shannon (42:16.758)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (42:23.551)
Yes, I know.
Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (42:30.306)
Be curious why. Be curious why. That's why we say don't judge. Be curious. That's why my behavior, why did I have the affair? Don't judge me. I had it because I was so numb but I was trying to control the narrative. I wanted my power back. Yes. So that's why we do that because we're saying I can give it away because I want to. It's like that false sense that we think that but we're ultimately hurting ourselves.
Heather Shannon (42:33.897)
Yes. Yes.
Heather Shannon (42:46.004)
Yeah!
Heather Shannon (42:52.405)
Right, right, right.
That's the rub.
Shannnon Curtis (42:58.816)
Yeah. Yeah. So it's those signs that keep going over and over. You're just going to switch partners. And so I say, you can keep changing relationships, but if you don't heal what you're trying to heal, it will keep reenacting because our partners are what brings out all of our trauma. Literally, it's like a mirror. Because he's my reflection of my unhealed parts. And so if he says, and like, if he said I'm ugly, I'd be like, yeah, okay, I don't believe you. Because I don't believe that.
Heather Shannon (43:09.345)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (43:17.623)
This so true.
Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (43:27.928)
But if he said I'm ugly and part of me believes it, it's gonna hurt me because I believe it. Something he's saying I resonate with. And so that's what it is, is when you don't believe it and you know your truth and you're like, I'm not in the mood. If you're feeling rejected, that's on you. And you give it back to them because you know it's coming from a good place. It's not coming from a withholding. It's not coming from resentment. It's just honoring your body. So if we start honoring our body.
Heather Shannon (43:33.207)
Yes, 100%. Yep.
Heather Shannon (43:42.177)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (43:52.821)
Right.
important.
Shannnon Curtis (43:57.613)
we can start healing our body and then our partners. And it just is that beautiful exchange of every time things come up in a relationship. I always say when we get in a disagreement, I'm like, okay, what is it? What is it I need to look at? What am I getting upset? Is it control? Is it power? Is it fear of rejection? Be curious why you're behaving the way you behave because there's patterns and they reveal themselves. So when I work with clients, they'll start talking and tell me things. usually
Heather Shannon (44:12.126)
Yeah.
Hmm.
Heather Shannon (44:22.135)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (44:27.534)
They don't even have to, I just hear it. I hear it in the words and that's where my intuitive stuff helps. But the big thing is my intuitive gifts, my mediumship literally did not come out fully till after I healed my trauma. And once I did that, because I started listening, listening to my body, listening to the little signs. That's what mediumship is just feeling things. And if I don't fully feel, I am not gonna feel like your cat. It was like, why do I feel like something is around my neck?
Heather Shannon (44:29.131)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (44:40.606)
So interesting, yeah.
Heather Shannon (44:57.463)
Well, I I want to tell people for a second. So it was also funny because you were like, your cat is saying there's another cat whose name begins with an R. And we've been talking about my new kitten, Felix. And I was like, no, it's Felix. And then you were like, yeah, he's not as smart. I'm like, Felix is really smart. So I guess maybe that's just off. And then when we got off the call, I was like, oh my god, it was the third cat, Rascal, the one who's litter mates with CB. And I was like, he is very, very sweet and loving, but he's not that smart.
Shannnon Curtis (44:57.686)
I just want it because I feel.
Shannnon Curtis (45:26.606)
Yeah, and that's all it is is I don't know that it's like that energy. Have you ever walked in the room? So it's intuition as you walk in the room and you can feel that someone's really angry and they don't say a word. You feel it. That's all it is. I'm just feeling the different things. And I used to be extra sensitive growing up to where I always thought I was too sensitive, too sensitive. And I'm like, oh, now it's my superpowers because that's what I have to do is be like, what's this feeling that's not mine? So you have to know your body.
Heather Shannon (45:28.887)
Yeah
Mm-hmm. yeah. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (45:41.899)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (45:48.853)
Yes!
Heather Shannon (45:54.067)
Yes.
Shannnon Curtis (45:54.659)
Because if I don't know my body, then I'm not gonna be able to know that different feeling. And so when I work with clients and they're releasing the trauma, I have to hold space for them. Because if I try to take it on in that energy, I'm not gonna be able to do that because I'm not gonna know what's mine or what's theirs. And so sometimes when I'm about to meet someone or work with them, I'm like, why am I feeling so nervous? it's not me, it's them.
Heather Shannon (46:03.243)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (46:12.766)
Yeah!
Heather Shannon (46:19.041)
That's their stuff, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (46:21.364)
Mm-hmm, and so that's where I'm just like fine-tuning my skills, but it's just picking up on those subtle, subtle cues. And if you listen to how people speak, you will pick up on their cues. You will pick up on their pattern. And so that's how I help clients. I say that's why intuitive coaching helps me, because I will hear and feel things and I will help you with the blind spots that you just can't see. And it's okay. It's okay. That's what we're here for, to help each other.
Heather Shannon (46:39.063)
you
Heather Shannon (46:45.653)
I love that. I love that.
I know. And also you reflected to me one of the healings I need to work on via my cat, which was, I was like, I do need to work on that. Yes, thank you. So yeah, I think that the work you do is so important. So how do you work with people? Like if people are listening and they're like, yeah, Shannon sounds cool. How do I?
Shannnon Curtis (46:59.949)
Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (47:09.87)
Yeah, so they can go on my website. It's www.angelgoddesshealing.com and they can always get a free consultation so they can sign up or it has my calendar on there and we just talk and we just see if we're a good alignment. That's why I always say it's like just see if because there's sometimes it might not be me and I have other people. I have my sister, my partner. He works with people. I have all these people in the field and I have many. He's a vet. So he works with a lot of vets and he works with the suicide and the depression.
Heather Shannon (47:17.673)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (47:23.029)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (47:30.527)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (47:35.264)
Cool.
Shannnon Curtis (47:37.709)
All of that, my sister works with the addiction stuff, so it's kind like you got all of it. But for me, if someone came to me, we just talk. Again, I'd ask, what's your angle? Who do you want to become? What are the blind spots in your life? And then what happens is I'll just get little downloads of just, I'll just know the right question to ask, because I'm just trusting it's not from me. And again, this is part of people being in the healing space. You have to do your own work.
Heather Shannon (47:46.725)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (47:55.553)
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Shannnon Curtis (48:03.448)
So I am doing my work every night. sit in meditation, do my ego shadow work. So I know what I'm saying is coming from a pure place, cause I'm a clear channel because I'm not, I have no agenda, no agenda. It's just to help you. And so I will say whatever comes to me. And sometimes I got to push them a little bit to get it out. Or sometimes you know when to back down. That's that like intuitive of just reading them.
Heather Shannon (48:08.617)
Mmm.
Heather Shannon (48:12.565)
Yes. Yes. Right. Yes.
Heather Shannon (48:26.847)
Mm-hmm
Shannnon Curtis (48:29.812)
and get them right there, but they're not ready yet. And that's that balance. So I work with people on that. And then I work with people that are going to go sit in plant medicine, wherever they are, like Mexico, different places. But I think that's very important too, because you need to know why you're going, your intention, right? And then on the back end, I work with the integration part of it. So when you come back from this life changing experience like I had, I had to know how to integrate it in my everyday life.
Heather Shannon (48:32.321)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (48:37.729)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (48:44.341)
Yes. Yep.
Heather Shannon (48:49.365)
Hmm
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (48:56.524)
So I do that and then I do just straight mediumship. That's just, you know, people wanting to connect with just loved ones or animals, your spirit guides. And so it's a couple different things, but with clients, it doesn't have to be that it's just coaching. It's just talking. That's all it is. It's me and a person talking and I help them with their blind spots, things they can't see, so we can get to the bottom of it and really start doing the healing.
Heather Shannon (49:03.947)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (49:11.158)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (49:21.111)
I love it. That's why we need coaching in general. It's like everyone has blind spots, you know, like you kind of can't really be human and not have any in my opinion. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (49:27.604)
No, I have to have people that help me. I have my team of people who help me when I'm like, hey, what is this? And I do a lot of the work myself, but it's knowing that. But it's knowing you got to do your work. You can't depend on people like that. I give them the tools for them to heal themselves. That's what I say. I'm not here to heal you. I'm here to teach you how to heal your soul. Yes.
Heather Shannon (49:37.536)
Yeah!
Heather Shannon (49:42.369)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (49:47.211)
I love that.
Heather Shannon (49:52.464)
Yes, that's how it works. I don't wanna be a crutch for people. I wanna build them up so that they feel good going forward. Yeah.
Shannnon Curtis (49:57.067)
No!
Yes, that's my hope. And I've had a lot of clients come and do that or vets, and then they pay back. And that's what I say. That's how you pay it back. You don't need to see me forever. Like I said, I'm not doing this for the money. It's literally who I am and my mission. And so my best hope is that you find your healing and you go off and pay it forward and you pay it forward. And then you start helping. And if, again, if we do that and keep helping each other heal, imagine what the world would look like.
Heather Shannon (50:03.827)
Mm-hmm. Mmm.
Heather Shannon (50:08.832)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (50:18.453)
Yeah. Yep.
Heather Shannon (50:27.147)
That's fingers crossed. Yeah. Right. Right.
Shannnon Curtis (50:29.198)
It's going there. That's why I say it's going there. It's just a choice Do you choose to sit in the fear or the love the light or the dark and I just said my choice is to sit in the light But I honor the dark I honor the pain I honor that I'm not trying to fight it or escape it That's the difference is I honor it because I know it's there for a reason and it's there to teach me About myself and the wounds that I still need to heal
Heather Shannon (50:42.805)
Yes.
Heather Shannon (50:47.019)
Mm-mm. Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (50:57.985)
Yeah, that's amazing. Thank you so much for being here and just sharing your story. And I think sharing hope with people and empowerment, you know?
Shannnon Curtis (51:09.176)
Thank you so much for giving me a voice, giving me a platform, but also just being me, my most authentic self. And that's what I hope anyone's listening. I literally, as I love like the rising Phoenix after my divorce at 40, I had to burn everything down, literally start from scratch. And so that's that thing of knowing it's possible. And I started with who I wanna be.
Heather Shannon (51:12.791)
Of course.
Heather Shannon (51:21.781)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (51:32.449)
Hmm.
Shannnon Curtis (51:32.502)
and then I built my life around it. So now my whole career is literally, I get paid to be my most authentic self. And so that's my hope for everyone listening. Start with who you are, your most authentic self, and the rest will come.
Heather Shannon (51:49.366)
Love that. Thank you everybody for listening. Thank you to Shannon and we will catch you next week on another episode of Ask a Sex Therapist.