Foreign.

Welcome to the Own youn Choices on youn Life podcast.

I know you are here wanting to change and rewrite your story.

You are desiring to step into the impact that, you know you were here to create.

I am here to guide you with.

The proven tools and strategies used by.

Myself and our speakers to support you in taking radical responsibility in your

life and learning how to own your choices to change your story.

My name is Marsha Van Winsburg.

I am a storytelling business coach, master NLP

trainer, speaker, podcaster, and seven times published author.

My clients have found freedom and purpose from overcoming their shame stories and learning

how to share them with the world.

I am so grateful you are here.

Let's get started.

Foreign.

Welcome back to the show.

We are in about the middle of January at this point, and I don't.

Know if this is where they call.

It the Blue Monday.

The Blue Monday, where it's like, you know,

kind of the darkest times.

We're in this, you know, we don't have a lot

of daylight.

We're a few weeks after Christmas.

We're in this time.

And I know that this is where a lot of our goals can kind of fizzle out.

And I also want to give you a different frame to think about as to maybe a way to see why

yours might be fizzling out, if they are.

And one of the reasons is, is that do you know what your capacity is?

Like, do you actually know what your capacity is?

This is actually something.

I didn't even understand this word.

I bet you even a year ago I was the put your head down, get it done, work hard, push hard.

And capacity was like, well, of course I can do it.

I can just, I just do it.

And there comes a point where it's like,

you know, you've got the,

that meme where the waiter's juggling all the plates and they're like, plates on plates on

plates, and you're trying to juggle it all.

And that's kind of what capacity looks like.

It's like, okay, so maybe you can hold it for

how long? Is it fun?

Do you enjoy it?

What does that look like? And so one of the things that I wanted to

share from this lens, especially as you're coming out to the new year,

it's not about like gangbusters out and go full tilt and then burn out by the middle of

January.

That's not it at all.

We actually want to build sustainable process, which also means it requires patience.

And I'm laughing because that's always something I'm Working on.

But this is where capacity comes in.

I used to be led by my ideas in business and honestly I think that I had to go that route

to experience it first.

But what I did was I, I mean I would be in a space of like, oh, a new, new idea, new

program every month, new program every month.

And we'll wait new masterclass to lead the program every single month.

Oh, better post and share about that.

Three posts a day every single day to promote

all the new programs.

And I can even hear it in my energy.

But that's what I did and I actually think it

was good that I did that to recognize what I wanted and didn't want anymore.

So I am like the queen of ideas.

Honestly, if you've been in my containers in

my world, you know how often I talk about that's content and the ideas that I have.

I have no shortage of ideas at all.

Does every idea go out into the world? Absolutely not.

I've got a notes app in my folder.

The ideas go into there,

even podcast ideas.

I get ideas all the time for podcasts and I

just like voice note them into there and then I come back and circle to them to see what

lands and what I'm living and walking through right now.

I'm no longer led by my ideas.

My ideas go somewhere to live.

What I'm led by is my own nervous system, my own capacity and my own like subconscious

alignment to where I want to go.

Do I believe that it's possible because we

only build what we feel sustainable?

If our system is built to hold it,

how can we build and support ourselves so that we can hold what we're building?

I love this quote.

It's unknown, but your nervous system determines what you can create, sustain and

receive.

Your subconscious determines whether you believe that you can hold it.

And the capacity is the bridge in between your ambition and your results.

That's capacity.

Now, I shared something in a podcast a few months ago that people loved and it was this

piece that if you build your capacity, your ambition can work for you.

Don't build your capacity and your ambition will work against you.

And that's what happens.

If you don't build the capacity,

you're going to be burning out non stop.

We want your ambition to work for you.

So ideas come in,

I park them somewhere, I revisit, and I ask myself, am I ready to bring this to life?

Where do I think it might fit in?

What does it look like? If I am making decisions and I'm sharing this

with you because I feel Like, I know it's going to land for somebody when I'm making

decisions.

And if it feels like it's like, oh, I have a thousand things on my plate, I'm feeling this

burnout, there's like, shiny object syndrome and comparison of what everyone else is doing.

And this proving energy that I can do it,

that is not sustainable.

That's a very dysregulated system.

And I know it very well because I lived there for years.

When it's regulated, it feels very clear.

There's like.

It's very precise.

My thinking is clear.

Those momentum without burnout,

and I feel like I can hold more pressure.

And that means I don't want more pressure.

But when more pressure comes in, I can hold it without feeling like I'm going to collapse.

I can have more success without feeling like I'm going to collapse.

That's what it looks like.

Your ambition will work against you if you

don't grow your capacity to hold more.

And that is a very simple piece.

So how do I decide what comes to life?

I take all those ideas, I put them in a notes app, and from there I start to look at it and

go, okay,

let's go inward first.

What feels good?

Where can I have space to bring that to life?

Every new level requires more energy,

more space,

the ability to hold more emotional bandwidth.

When we say yes before checking in or thinking

about capacity,

it can lead to resentment.

And I've done this.

I've actually, like, built and launched to something, and it's like, I didn't want to do

it.

I'm like, interesting.

Why is that?

I took a very solid piece of my program from 2025 and I stopped it.

I actually refunded people.

And I was like, I know that I don't have the bandwidth to do this anymore.

In this way.

In this way.

I'd done it for two and a half years.

That was actually not easy at all.

But I was listening.

That means going inward first.

Did I make the decision fast? No, no, no, no. It.

It was a long time coming.

So if we can check first for what the capacity is,

then there's a better chance of not sitting in resentment because you're exhausted and can't

service it.

Because how you serve people in your program will speak and ripple into referrals, into

more growth,

into so many different things.

That's what it looks like.

So we want to check in first.

We want to check in with our actual schedule,

our calendar, our energy, our bandwidth, the identity of who we are so that we can sustain

what we are building.

In my opinion, this is really what it comes down to, being like a heartwired leader.

And this is our mastermind, heartwired CEO.

It's our live event.

We speak about it all the time.

It's in both of our business, mine and Meg's,

and it is really this heartwired approach.

Checking in first.

Honestly, take the idea, shelve it, look at it, see it, how does it unfold, how does it

feel?

I had the idea for Unbothered back in June of 2025, and it is just coming to life now.

And I did a live podcast series called the Unbothered Mind.

It's in the show notes, it's free, it is sharing what that journey was like.

Why do you think I did that? I'm an auditory learner and I just practice

with the free podcast,

putting the content out to see how it feels, how can it land, how can I hold it, what does

it look like? Giving myself space and patience to bring

something to life.

Brand new information,

brand new way of being, I promise.

But this is what it looks like to listen.

Tune in first to your own nervous system first.

And when your nervous system is regulated, this is where internal safety comes from.

Internal safety means that you are ready to hold what you are creating.

You are able to be in a space of feeling grounded and neutral, whether it's all working

out or whether it's not.

If your body doesn't feel safe to hold what you're creating,

your subconscious literally will go, oh, my God, that's pressure, that's unsafe.

Let's block that.

And so you can have incredible opportunities that are right there, but you're so

dysregulated that you can't hold it.

It's like you've got all the plates going and then somebody throws a ball in and it like all

the plates come tumbling because you can't hold it all at the same time.

So this is why we want to set ourselves up for success.

If I can learn how to do this and pause and actually regulate first and ask myself for

capacity, what does it look like? I promise you,

this took me a long time to learn.

You can too.

You absolutely can, too.

So if your nervous system says, nope, not yet, what can we do?

How can we breathe, give ourselves space, regulate, pause,

rest,

Give ourselves time to recharge and get out of our heads and into our bodies to actually

ground before taking action.

Getting into that space is nervous system regulation that will allow you to make a

better decision,

to know if this is A yes right now or a not right now.

Do you believe that you can hold it in the way that you want to,

in a sustainable way that you can hold it? Does this idea feel safe?

Does it expand you? Does it collapse you?

Does it add pressure?

What identity do you have to step into in order to embody this?

Backing up.

When I shared about the concept of unbother,

it's big.

And it came from seeing Mel Robbins live and for reading her book and then walking through

a really difficult situation that feels really big.

So I'm allowing myself more time for it to land in a way that is sustainable,

that is the direction that we're going with it.

So expansion and capacity, like, it doesn't happen by pushing harder.

It happens by layering and practicing holding more.

More stillness, like, more sensation, more responsibility, more visibility,

more receiving.

Receiving support.

I actually have been writing about receiving

support for the last year,

and that is the only way this business has continued to grow is by allowing myself to be

supported.

And this is what it looks like.

Your capacity continues to grow because you've trained yourself that it's safe to hold more.

You know, holding more can also mean, like, a lot of other challenges, right?

Payment failures, clients that aren't aligned, things that don't work.

Like, I find everything in my life,

when I pushed to do it faster,

the plates all fell.

It's just what happened now that I've learned

this again,

probably not till I was 54 when I first learned it,

is being in this space of slowing down, pausing, and asking myself, am I ready for

this?

How am I feeling? What's my internal safety?

Can I juggle it? How does my calendar feel?

Where do I need support?

All of that comes before mapping out anything in the program.

And then it becomes clear of, okay, well, if something does feel off, what do I need?

Where am I lacking support?

See, the old hardwired way, which I thought was like a badge of honor,

meant I said yes to everything.

Yeah, I can do that.

I got it.

I got it.

Yeah, I know I have 10 things on the go, but I

can totally do that.

Pushing through pressure, ignoring how I felt, forcing things to happen,

sitting in comparison nonstop,

and, you know, ignoring the signs where my body was saying, stop it, Just stop.

This is enough.

And the old way of hardwired way was building a business that drained me.

It honestly drained me.

And now when I look at it, my calendar looks

totally different.

There's a lot on my calendar.

Don't like.

Like, there's a lot on my calendar, but not in

an overwhelming way.

I have found ways to build balance in my

calendar that fits really well.

I have three weeks a month.

I actually go pretty hard in those three weeks, still balance myself.

Don't like, don't hear me wrong, but the last week of the month is my integration week.

I rarely have calls that week.

I catch up, plan for the next month, what

needs to be done so that I'm not always behind the eight ball.

And that feels really good for me.

It allows me time to recharge and pour back

into me even more.

The heartwired way is that is respecting my calendar.

Taking a look at it,

asking myself the hard questions, can I hold and support this?

What does this look like and feel like?

Tapping into regulation, often recognizing when I fall into old patterns of pressure,

Letting my nervous system be the strategy, listening to what it's saying,

closing in on my own patterns that I need.

I have a great sleep regimen honestly and for

the most part we can be watching something that I love and I'm like, it's my bedtime, I

have to go to bed.

And it's so funny.

But it's just like I know when I need to be in

bed by to allow myself a chance to get the sleep that I need.

My body needs like very much a heartwar way and choosing ideas that align with the

identity of who I'm becoming and the long term vision of what we're building so I can have

great ideas.

I mean literally, I bet you less than half actually make it out into a business that

we're building, an offer that we're creating because I know it has to fit in with all these

other values first.

And that can change how I show up and changes how my business can grow and scale.

Because I am building a business that supports who I am becoming in the identity piece of it.

So when your ideas land,

write em down somewhere, look at it, ask yourself the hard questions, right?

You don't need more ideas.

You need to build the capacity to hold the

ones that are most important to you.

When you regulate first, your decisions become clear.

You have space to be more creative and your voice is more grounded and stronger.

It's not pushing.

And then all of a sudden you maybe can see your vision even more clearly.

When your nervous system feels safe to hold more, you layer it in.

All of a sudden you feel like, yeah, I can do this.

This feels good.

There's no proving energy.

It's actually a calm, grounded energy.

I can do this.

That feels good.

And it's okay to move Things back.

It's okay to bump things back if your capacity feels off, if your nervous system feels off.

Like, be honest with yourself.

I know it's hard when you're trying to build a

business and you actually do have to generate money.

Like we have businesses that are generating money.

If not, we have a hobby.

It's what we're doing.

So when you're here,

it's okay to put things off.

It's okay to say, that's a Q3 issue and where can I get support in Q1 and Q2?

What does that look like?

It is not quitting.

It's not playing weak.

It's actually being in alignment with who you are and how much you can hold.

When you do that, you can continue to grow your business in ways that are beyond what you

can see right now,

because it doesn't make logical sense in full, honest transparency of what we have on our

docket right now between Outspoken Publishing, Outspoken Coaching, there's so many things

coming this way.

And the nlp, the Practitioner and the Master Practitioner, as well as my one on One client,

the podcast that goes three episodes a week.

I'm not saying this to actually, like,

make it sound something that it's not.

I'm not even trying to pump the tires or

anything.

I'm just saying we've layered it all in.

And the concept of unbothered, like I said, came almost nine months ago.

And we are in a space of it is just unrolling now because I kept tapping into, what does it

look like? Can I hold it?

And I had a client last year who had booked a breakthrough day.

And a breakthrough day, to me is like the highest touch point.

A breakthrough day is eight hours with a client,

as well as giving them a personalized hypnosis and subliminals to support them in their

goals,

as well as a month of telegram coaching afterwards.

Okay, it's very high touch.

You can collapse three to six months in a

breakthrough day.

You can always reach out to me for them.

I book them months in advance.

But I just want to share this concept with you.

So it is like the highest touch point for me.

I had a client book last year in April, somebody that I was dying to work with.

And we booked it out to August.

And in this time, in August, when it was coming,

I actually had some really challenging personal things that happened for us and our

family.

And I had to sit with myself and I'm like, I felt so guilty because I knew I could do it.

I knew I could do the breakthrough day.

But I also knew that I didn't know if I could deliver it the way that I wanted to and the

way that she deserved.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done because I looked at my capacity and I

went, if I do it and push through it,

I could probably pay for this for weeks.

And so I reached out to her and I was like, I feel terrible about this, but I actually want

to talk to you about capacity in a second.

I know we've had this book for months.

I don't think I can deliver it in the way that you deserve.

For it to be delivered at this point in two weeks time, I absolutely can.

What I am wondering is, could we postpone it for two weeks and could I offer you an

additional two weeks of coaching to support you and I,

you know, again, please know I don't make this decision lightly.

She responded back and she said, cause, I mean, I was.

The story I was telling myself was all about me and I was very disappointed in myself.

She reached back and she said, oh my God, absolutely.

And thank you for teaching me how to lead myself through a difficult time.

It all worked out in the best way possible.

She had the best breakthrough day and the

biggest transformation because I was in a different energy space and I didn't deplete

myself.

That's what I'm talking about with checking in with your own capacity.

Be honest with yourself so that you can deliver in the way that you desire to.

Okay. The way that serves your people best and serves yourself.

So that's the example that I wanted to share.

If you are here to really do some capacity work in 2026, if you're going and scaling your

business, then capacity should be a word like up front and center for you, as well as

nervous system and subconscious work.

Because that's what's going to hold the business that you're building.

This is what we do in the heartwired CEO in Outspoken in Unbothered, which is also

unrolling up too.

So I am so grateful to do this work with you and to share it in live time in a podcast.

I would love to know how it lands and how it's speaking to you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here.

I appreciate you so, so, so much.

Keep going.

You have epic **** to do in the world and someone somewhere is praying for the solutions

that you are holding on to.

Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Own youn Choices, Own youn

Life.

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Until next time, Remember, when you own your choices, you truly own your life.