1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,000 Hello, and welcome to another intriguing episode of the Data Driven 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,600 Podcast. Our special guest today is doctor Julia 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:11,185 DeGangi, a neuropsychologist who brilliantly bridges the gap 4 00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:14,865 between our biological neural networks and the synthetic ones we often 5 00:00:14,865 --> 00:00:18,670 chatter about. Today, we veer slightly off our usual 6 00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:22,349 digital path and delve into the fascinating world of natural neural 7 00:00:22,349 --> 00:00:25,955 networks that's your brain. Doctor Daganji will illuminate 8 00:00:26,015 --> 00:00:29,775 how these organic systems influence our ability to tackle life's 9 00:00:29,775 --> 00:00:33,190 complexities. So whether you're wrestling with AI 10 00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:36,950 algorithms or your own synaptic connections, today's episode 11 00:00:36,950 --> 00:00:40,765 promises to enrich your understanding of both. Join us as 12 00:00:40,765 --> 00:00:44,385 we explore the vibrant intersection of technology, neuroscience 13 00:00:44,765 --> 00:00:48,125 and personal mastery. And now, without further 14 00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:50,840 ado, let's welcome doctor Julia Deganji. 15 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:58,855 Hello, and welcome back to Data Driven podcast where we explore the 16 00:00:58,855 --> 00:01:02,455 emergent fields of data science, artificial intelligence, and, of course, 17 00:01:02,455 --> 00:01:05,915 data engineering. For some reason, Andy has 18 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:10,280 dropped off the call. I think he's having technical glitches. I will blame the 19 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,800 eclipse on that. We're recording this on April 20 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,615 8th, and, with me today is doctor Julia Deganji, who is a 21 00:01:17,615 --> 00:01:21,215 neuropsychologist who shows you how to use your brain to 22 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:24,790 do hard things. Now normally, we talk about artificial neural 23 00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:28,150 networks, but I think today, we can kinda drill in on the the neural networks 24 00:01:28,150 --> 00:01:31,370 that we all have or at least we all hope we have, natural neural networks. 25 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:35,655 Welcome to the show, Julie, doctor Julie. I'm really 26 00:01:35,655 --> 00:01:38,695 glad to be here. Thanks for having me, Frank. Yes. We contribute a lot to 27 00:01:38,695 --> 00:01:41,595 the eclipse today. It's already a strange, strange morning. 28 00:01:42,890 --> 00:01:46,330 On on the way to drop my youngest to daycare, like, just some car randomly 29 00:01:46,330 --> 00:01:48,890 pulled out in front of me when it saw me coming, and I'm like, what 30 00:01:48,890 --> 00:01:50,670 is going on? So, 31 00:01:52,555 --> 00:01:56,235 so you you have, a 32 00:01:56,235 --> 00:01:59,990 book that's coming out, or is it already out? The book was released in 33 00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:03,590 September, late September of 2023, Energy Rising. It was released by 34 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:06,970 Harvard Business Review. So it's a book on the neuroscience of leadership. 35 00:02:07,645 --> 00:02:10,384 Very cool. And I think it's interesting where, 36 00:02:11,405 --> 00:02:14,925 a lot of the the obviously, artificial 37 00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:18,750 intelligence draws a lot of inspiration from neuroscience and kind of 38 00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:22,270 cognitive studies. What are your thoughts on this 39 00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:25,070 AI? I right now, we're kind of in the middle of a hype wave, but, 40 00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:28,025 like, what are your thoughts on AI just in general? 41 00:02:28,805 --> 00:02:32,585 That's a really big question. So I I am a neuropsychologist, 42 00:02:33,045 --> 00:02:36,585 which means I'm a clinical psychologist with specialized expertise in the brain, 43 00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:40,530 and neuropsychologists study sort of the domains of the brain. So 44 00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:43,750 we study information processing, 45 00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:47,655 decision making, emotional inhibition, emotional dysregulation, 46 00:02:48,115 --> 00:02:51,815 attentional processes. And so one of the things that I think is really interesting 47 00:02:52,115 --> 00:02:55,090 is, you know, the the the power of machines 48 00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:59,630 have already outpaced in so many ways the cognitive abilities of the 49 00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:03,265 human brain. Right? So if you think about memory retention, memory 50 00:03:03,265 --> 00:03:06,885 storage, memory retrieval, attention, processing speed. 51 00:03:07,584 --> 00:03:11,360 So what I, you know, I am most fundamentally, I've done a lot 52 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,340 of neuroscientific research, a lot of fMRI, EEG, 53 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,025 looking at human stress and human resilience. And 54 00:03:19,025 --> 00:03:22,225 one of the things I'm really interested in, I I find this to be obviously 55 00:03:22,225 --> 00:03:25,425 a very uncertain moment, and I'm I would love to talk to you about uncertainty 56 00:03:25,425 --> 00:03:29,240 in the brain because I think that piece is so important. But while 57 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:33,080 it's an uncertain moment, I also feel incredibly optimistic. You know, what I 58 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,840 think is actually gonna happen is as the machines continue to 59 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,445 outpace some of the classic cognitive abilities of the human brain, 60 00:03:40,585 --> 00:03:43,965 there's gonna be tremendous pressure on our emotional 61 00:03:44,025 --> 00:03:47,780 capacities, our our emotional capacities to deal with uncertainty, 62 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,160 our emotional capacities to regulate, our emotional capacities to have 63 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,825 trust, our emotional capacities to connect with each other. And so 64 00:03:55,825 --> 00:03:59,445 when you think about evolution, species only evolve 65 00:03:59,665 --> 00:04:03,400 when there is intense pressure on the species. So what I feel 66 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,180 incredibly optimistic for is I think we're gonna unlock extraordinary 67 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,855 capabilities of human emotional and relational 68 00:04:10,995 --> 00:04:14,135 intelligence due to all this advancement in AI. 69 00:04:15,075 --> 00:04:18,915 Wow. That's interesting. So you have a very optimistic view of what 70 00:04:18,915 --> 00:04:22,580 it means for humanity? You know, I think like any you 71 00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:26,260 know, most of my work really focuses on stress and trauma, and energy 72 00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:29,955 rising is about the relationship. You know, I it's about 73 00:04:29,955 --> 00:04:33,655 leadership, but it's about the relationship fundamentally between what I call emotional 74 00:04:33,715 --> 00:04:37,415 power and emotional pain. So I really believe 75 00:04:37,475 --> 00:04:41,050 that struggle, so challenge, problems, 76 00:04:41,430 --> 00:04:44,410 even pain sometimes, is egregiously misunderstood. 77 00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:48,525 So do I think that these moments of intense stress on our 78 00:04:48,525 --> 00:04:52,365 social systems, our occupational systems, our cognitive systems is 79 00:04:52,365 --> 00:04:56,180 gonna be easy? Absolutely not. But I think when we position 80 00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:59,539 ourselves to really understand what's going on and specifically how the 81 00:04:59,539 --> 00:05:02,759 brain is wired to meet these moments of uncertainty, 82 00:05:03,384 --> 00:05:07,225 I I feel I feel deeply hopeful. That's good to hear. 83 00:05:07,225 --> 00:05:10,985 And and I think what's interesting is as someone who I've been in the 84 00:05:10,985 --> 00:05:14,210 technology space since, well, longer than I care to admit. 85 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:18,270 But, one of the interesting things we're seeing now is a lot of 86 00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:21,150 layoffs happening in this field, and that 87 00:05:22,034 --> 00:05:25,814 it used to be that a career in technology was always golden, 88 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:29,474 always roses, you know, wonderful things, big tech, blah blah 89 00:05:29,474 --> 00:05:33,289 blah. But now I think people are feeling uncertain in their careers for the 90 00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:37,050 first time. I'm old enough to remember the dotcom crash, so this 91 00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:40,745 this this rings very familiar to me. What do you what would you 92 00:05:40,745 --> 00:05:44,585 say to people who are facing uncertainty now? 93 00:05:44,585 --> 00:05:48,185 Like because there's obviously, I think, a clinical aspect to what uncertainty does to the 94 00:05:48,185 --> 00:05:51,700 brain. I mean, I'd like to unpack that, but, like, what can people do kind 95 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:55,300 of as the drivers of their brain? I know that's 96 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:59,105 probably not the right word, but as the conscious what you're saying. So let's let's 97 00:05:59,105 --> 00:06:02,165 have a conversation about the neuroscience of uncertainty. 98 00:06:02,705 --> 00:06:06,465 Mhmm. So one of the things that I think is is so powerful about energy 99 00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:10,060 rising, and it's really received I think I've I've been really kind of, 100 00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:13,900 pleasantly surprised by its reception. You know? So my work on emotional power is uncovered 101 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:17,015 now in the Wall Street Journal, CNBC, Fortune, Forbes, 102 00:06:17,315 --> 00:06:21,075 HBR Magazine. And the reason I think is, like, yeah, 103 00:06:21,075 --> 00:06:24,500 sure. My credentials are really strong and and my I think my 104 00:06:24,740 --> 00:06:28,100 scientific expertise really kind of brings a lot to the table, but what I really 105 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:31,780 think is happening is these and and so much of energy rising is 106 00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:35,275 about how leaders can navigate uncertainty. I think it's really 107 00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:39,115 resonating with people. So one of 1 and one of the premises of energy 108 00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:42,955 rising is this, and it's a little bit counterintuitive at first. It's 109 00:06:42,955 --> 00:06:46,510 that your brain wants to focus 110 00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:49,729 on situation after situation after situation. 111 00:06:49,949 --> 00:06:53,655 So this thing happened on Tuesday. I got laid off from 112 00:06:53,655 --> 00:06:57,335 that job in 2007. This person said this thing to me on 113 00:06:57,335 --> 00:07:01,170 Wednesday. That thing's gonna happen next Thursday. So do you see what I mean by, 114 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,850 like, every situation is kind of a a new problem to be solved 115 00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:08,645 onto itself? This is an incredibly episodic. I'm sorry. Yes. 116 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,305 It's and it's an incredibly inefficient and powerless 117 00:07:12,085 --> 00:07:14,745 way of really leading our lives. 118 00:07:15,590 --> 00:07:19,430 So all of our our all of the meaning in our life, all of 119 00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:23,270 the meaningful consciousness, and I'd be interested to hear what your response is 120 00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:26,925 sort of a a tech expert. All of the meaningful 121 00:07:27,065 --> 00:07:30,905 consciousness in our lives, all of it, rises entirely 122 00:07:30,905 --> 00:07:32,205 on the energy of emotion. 123 00:07:34,729 --> 00:07:37,870 So when I say to people, do you have a good job? 124 00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:42,155 I don't know. How do you feel about it? Are you a successful 125 00:07:42,215 --> 00:07:45,735 leader? I don't know. How do you feel about it? Do you have 126 00:07:45,735 --> 00:07:49,355 enough time? Do you have enough money? Have you achieved enough? When 127 00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:53,090 All of these questions are fundamentally mediated by 128 00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:56,470 emotional circuits in the brain, feeling. Feelings of sufficiency, 129 00:07:56,690 --> 00:08:00,445 feelings of disappointment, feelings of anxiety, feelings of hope, feelings 130 00:08:00,445 --> 00:08:04,205 of satisfaction. So when we come to 131 00:08:04,205 --> 00:08:07,590 uncertainty, it's very easy to say And and by the way, 132 00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:11,430 like, these things, you know, I I certainly am in the work as 133 00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:15,055 well, so I know how hard this can be for us as human beings. But 134 00:08:15,055 --> 00:08:18,815 when we come to uncertain situations in our life, in our jobs, in 135 00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:22,655 our homes, in our marriages with our kids, it's really easy to say, 136 00:08:22,655 --> 00:08:26,280 like, oh my god. I'm freaking out about this this specific thing. 137 00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:31,574 But the brain is meeting the energy of 138 00:08:31,574 --> 00:08:35,095 uncertainty. And when I say energy, I'm not talking metaphysically or 139 00:08:35,095 --> 00:08:38,554 metaphorically. I'm talking your brain is quite literally a neuroelectrical 140 00:08:39,095 --> 00:08:42,580 machine. K? Emotions, thoughts, there are chem neurochemical 141 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,640 processes neurochemical electrical processes. So in 142 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,540 order to understand how the brain responds to uncertainty, 143 00:08:51,055 --> 00:08:54,735 we gotta talk about what what happens when we get uncertain. So I think the 144 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:58,335 best way to describe our relationship with uncertainty is your brain is 145 00:08:58,335 --> 00:09:02,050 basically allergic to it. I'm gonna tell you a really interesting 146 00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:05,890 study that I think really elucidates a lot. So this is not 147 00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:09,225 my study, but I think it's still a very powerful study to talk about. So 148 00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:13,065 these scientists bring people into the lab, and they say, okay. You're gonna be in 149 00:09:13,065 --> 00:09:16,505 one of 2 conditions. You're either gonna be in a condition where the machine is 150 00:09:16,505 --> 00:09:20,120 gonna count down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and you're 151 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,960 absolutely going to get a shock, or you're gonna be randomized to a 152 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,795 condition where the machine's gonna count down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and 153 00:09:27,795 --> 00:09:31,395 you may or may not get a shock. Now if we were really 154 00:09:31,635 --> 00:09:34,595 I I use this in air quotes because I think it's silly. If we were 155 00:09:34,595 --> 00:09:38,410 really rational human beings, we would all choose to be 156 00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:42,170 in the first condition. I'm sorry. We would we'd rather be in the in the 157 00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:45,529 second condition where there's a good chance that we could get away without getting an 158 00:09:45,529 --> 00:09:48,575 electrical shock. But people statistically 159 00:09:49,035 --> 00:09:52,654 prefer to be in the condition where they are absolutely 160 00:09:52,714 --> 00:09:56,480 certain they are going to get a shock. Really? What 161 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,360 does this what does this tell you? Well, I think people like to kinda, like, 162 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:03,055 laugh and roll their eyes and say human beings are so irrational. Human 163 00:10:03,055 --> 00:10:06,655 beings are not irrational. The brain is the most extraordinary machine on the 164 00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:10,500 planet, and this experiment tells us something very powerful. There 165 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:14,180 are moments in our lives where the pain the 166 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:17,995 emotional pain of uncertainty is more 167 00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:21,135 painful than actually getting a physical shock. 168 00:10:22,235 --> 00:10:26,050 Interesting. And the the part that kinda tickles me 169 00:10:26,050 --> 00:10:29,810 about this experiment is, you know, these people are showing up to do these experiments, 170 00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:33,365 you know, at the University of Iowa, you know, the University of, you know, New 171 00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:37,045 York University, UCLA. Like, people are going into a lab 172 00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:40,745 for 30 minutes. In other words, they know they ain't dying that day. 173 00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:45,220 It's a really safe, controlled environment. So if you so even 174 00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:48,980 in this really controlled environment and by the way, we did have these electrical shock 175 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:52,705 machines in my lab. And as as the name suggests, 176 00:10:52,845 --> 00:10:56,445 the shock is very painful. So even 177 00:10:56,445 --> 00:10:59,265 in a a contextually very safe, 178 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,520 reasonable environment, people are still saying, give me 179 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:07,360 the shock, then give me the experience where I have to 180 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,945 sit with my own feelings of uncertainty. Wow. If 181 00:11:10,945 --> 00:11:14,545 you transpose that out into the real world where the stakes are so 182 00:11:14,545 --> 00:11:18,305 much higher, our relationships, our jobs, our 183 00:11:18,305 --> 00:11:21,750 careers, our sense of self. You can see 184 00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:25,810 just how powerful this energy of uncertainty is 185 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:29,190 and why it's really quite important that we learn to handle it powerfully. 186 00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:34,195 That's interesting. So do you think we're running towards certainty or away 187 00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:37,715 from uncertainty or some combination, or it doesn't 188 00:11:37,715 --> 00:11:41,140 matter? Yeah. I don't know that I think that that is a meaningful distinction, but 189 00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:44,260 I will tell you what I do think is so meaningful. If I had one 190 00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:47,860 word to describe all of my work. Right? I've been I've been really put on 191 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:50,985 this planet to talk about the brain, 192 00:11:51,524 --> 00:11:55,365 emotional power, and emotional pain. This is I just some of us find our calling. 193 00:11:55,365 --> 00:11:59,110 I really have found mine. If I had 194 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:02,470 to give one word to describe all of my work, I would say either 195 00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:05,485 counterintuitive or opposite. 196 00:12:06,345 --> 00:12:10,025 Okay? So a very useful way so if I keep saying the brain is a 197 00:12:10,025 --> 00:12:12,925 machine, we you know, our cell phones are a machine, 198 00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:17,590 Computers are machines. I think a really powerful question is, like, 199 00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:21,430 okay. Well, what what does the machine do? Like, when I pick up my cell 200 00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:24,274 phone, I know I can text people on this thing. I can call. So what 201 00:12:24,274 --> 00:12:27,795 does this what does this brain machine do? Your 202 00:12:27,795 --> 00:12:31,334 brain is in the business. It is a pattern detection 203 00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:34,720 machine. K? So it is literally 204 00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:38,779 bringing you through your life going apple, apple, apple, fill in the 205 00:12:38,779 --> 00:12:42,585 blank. I predict it should be an apple. 206 00:12:43,045 --> 00:12:46,745 Now you can see that space between apple apple apple fill in the blank 207 00:12:46,805 --> 00:12:50,530 is what we call uncertainty. It just means 208 00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:54,310 it's agnostic to meaning. In other words, it's just empty. It's not 209 00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:57,670 good. It's not bad. It's not scary. It's not happy. It's just 210 00:12:57,670 --> 00:13:01,194 empty. But the future, by definition, 211 00:13:01,495 --> 00:13:05,175 is uncertain. So the brain 212 00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:09,019 is gonna say, okay. I'm gonna meet this this empty space, this emotionally 213 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:12,680 agnostic space, and I'm gonna predict. And if it was apple, 214 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:16,440 apple, apple, apple, 1700 times already, I'm gonna predict that 215 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,785 it's gonna be an apple. Now could it have been a banana? 216 00:13:19,845 --> 00:13:23,685 Sure. Could it have been a cup of coffee? Sure. Could it 217 00:13:23,685 --> 00:13:27,040 have been a puppy? Sure. But the brain is gonna predict 218 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:30,960 what it it's gonna superimpose the past on the future. 219 00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:36,295 So when we want this is such a big point I'm gonna make, especially 220 00:13:36,355 --> 00:13:39,795 for leaders and people who are really, like, thinking about the well-being of other 221 00:13:39,795 --> 00:13:43,590 people. If we want to make 222 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:46,810 powerful changes in our lives, on our teams, and our organizations, 223 00:13:48,205 --> 00:13:51,825 we have got to break the pattern. And in the breaking 224 00:13:51,885 --> 00:13:55,325 of the pattern, your brain will say that is 225 00:13:55,325 --> 00:13:58,750 wrong. Do not do that. And though 226 00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:02,670 because the brain is more fun it's it's firstly an an engine 227 00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:06,485 of feeling way, way before it's an engine of feel of thinking, 228 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:10,865 when your brain goes to lead in a new way or try a new thing 229 00:14:10,865 --> 00:14:14,550 or basically be different, the sensation, the 230 00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:17,530 emotional energy in your body is going to feel 231 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:22,125 like bad, like anxiety, like dread, 232 00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:25,885 like fear, like stress. And if you as a leader don't 233 00:14:25,885 --> 00:14:29,585 intelligently know this is emotional intelligence is thinking intelligently 234 00:14:29,725 --> 00:14:33,520 about emotion. If you don't know how to meet these sensations that 235 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:37,280 first and foremost start in your own body, you're not 236 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,160 gonna be able to lead anybody anywhere because you're not even gonna be able to 237 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,875 lead yourself. Wow. That 238 00:14:43,954 --> 00:14:47,415 that's a good point because I know when I'm feeling uncertain or I'm feeling 239 00:14:47,475 --> 00:14:51,240 confused. And this this impacts a lot of things. Right? 240 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:55,000 Not just leadership, but I would say also sales, which I suppose is a kind 241 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,574 of leadership. If you're trying to sell and you're not certain of the 242 00:14:58,574 --> 00:15:02,334 product, I think we've all been in those situations where we've been on the other 243 00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:06,170 end of that equation where we're being sold to and the person's not clear, and 244 00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:09,850 you could smell that from a 100 miles away. 100 miles away. You know, I 245 00:15:09,850 --> 00:15:13,535 always paint myself into a corner. I sometimes say, like, I should stop using 246 00:15:13,535 --> 00:15:17,135 this term leader because you're right. It has, like we all have this, like, 247 00:15:17,135 --> 00:15:20,655 coding around what's, like, the the CEO of a 40,000 person 248 00:15:20,655 --> 00:15:24,380 company. I, you know, as as a neuropsychologist, I think 249 00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:27,820 have a a very powerful and and sort of radical definition of 250 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:31,385 leadership. Leadership is quite simply my 251 00:15:31,385 --> 00:15:34,765 own ability to use my own energy 252 00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:39,450 to have an impact on my own life. So we're 253 00:15:39,450 --> 00:15:43,050 all leading our lives. How good we're doing it, how bad we're doing it, that's 254 00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:46,730 a very separate question. But the reality is whether I get up in the morning 255 00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:49,455 and take over the world or get or refuse to get out of bed in 256 00:15:49,455 --> 00:15:53,214 the morning, this is still how I'm leading my life. And I 257 00:15:53,214 --> 00:15:56,540 think a lot of times what we try to do is we we forget that 258 00:15:56,699 --> 00:15:59,839 the thing that's ultimately driving our lives is our brain. 259 00:16:00,779 --> 00:16:03,820 So that we we get a real I always say the brain is the most 260 00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:07,395 powerful machine you will ever loan own, so operate wisely. 261 00:16:08,015 --> 00:16:10,835 So a lot of times what we try to do as 262 00:16:11,615 --> 00:16:15,020 people in relationships, and this this relates to your sales 263 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:18,779 point, is we try to get other people to have 264 00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:22,320 we don't we might not be conscious of this, but an emotional experience. 265 00:16:24,204 --> 00:16:28,045 But we're not actually having that emotional experience. So in other 266 00:16:28,045 --> 00:16:31,800 words, I hey, Frank. I need you to believe this, but I don't believe 267 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,640 it. I'm brought into large corporations. I I coach really 268 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,445 senior leaders. I work with entrepreneurs all the time. I do. And I would 269 00:16:39,445 --> 00:16:42,665 say the fundamental question people start to ask me 270 00:16:43,125 --> 00:16:46,905 is how do I get these other people to behave differently? 271 00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:50,590 How and it'll say things like, how do I get them more engaged? How do 272 00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:54,350 I get them more motivated? How do I get them more interested? How I'm sure 273 00:16:54,350 --> 00:16:57,825 you can you can relate to this. Right? Not just not just at work, but 274 00:16:57,825 --> 00:17:01,665 I'm just thinking getting my kids to put their laundry away. Like Oh, 275 00:17:01,665 --> 00:17:05,480 we could yes. And what's so beautiful about the brain is it sits at 276 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:09,000 the top of the hierarchy. It's the most upstream thing. So if if we can 277 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,484 get the neuroscience of relationships that work down, we can get the 278 00:17:12,484 --> 00:17:16,244 neuroscience of our marriages to work. We can get the neuroscience of our parenting to 279 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,925 work. We get the neuroscience of our social behavior on social media to 280 00:17:19,925 --> 00:17:23,710 work. So my point here, though, is that a lot of times what 281 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,770 we're saying to people is, like, I need you to believe, but I don't believe. 282 00:17:28,165 --> 00:17:30,745 Right. I need you to be motivated, but I'm not motivated. 283 00:17:32,565 --> 00:17:36,250 I need the I need you to be more honest. But I'm if I'm 284 00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:39,610 really honest, I'm not being transparent. Or 285 00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:42,269 else, these people, they're just so uncooperative. 286 00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:47,445 Won't cooperate, while failing to look at plenty of clear 287 00:17:47,445 --> 00:17:50,105 examples in my own life where I failed to be cooperative. 288 00:17:51,050 --> 00:17:54,430 Now, here's the truth about what we know about emotional energy, 289 00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:58,270 is we know neuroscience tells us very clearly that emotions 290 00:17:59,665 --> 00:18:03,265 are are universal and primary language. We came all came 291 00:18:03,265 --> 00:18:06,945 into this world speaking natively a language of emotion. That's how 292 00:18:06,945 --> 00:18:10,630 we communicated from the second we were born. K? And 293 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,429 we understand as herd animals, as mammals, 294 00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:17,350 that emotions are a thing of contagion. 295 00:18:19,235 --> 00:18:22,915 We coregulate with each other. We catch each other's emotions like we catch a 296 00:18:22,915 --> 00:18:26,340 cold. So plenty of times, the the 297 00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:30,100 salesperson will be confused or bored or this is a 298 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:32,419 big one I see if I'm being really honest because I do a lot of 299 00:18:32,419 --> 00:18:35,535 work with sales and entrepreneurs, is they don't really believe it. 300 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:41,630 Well, how in the world are you gonna get somebody to catch your 301 00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:45,250 emotional energy if you don't first feel the fire inside of yourself? 302 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:50,554 That is an excellent point. That is that mean, there was another one 303 00:18:50,554 --> 00:18:54,395 of the the sales gurus that I follow, and and you you work with the 304 00:18:54,475 --> 00:18:57,915 this crowd. You know, there's there's kind of, like, different schools of thoughts and different 305 00:18:57,915 --> 00:19:01,430 directions and different personalities. You know, 306 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:05,330 he he points out that if you are yourself in sales and you're 307 00:19:05,330 --> 00:19:08,915 successful, you tend to be an easy person to sell 308 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:12,755 to because you're always looking for something. Like, the way 309 00:19:12,755 --> 00:19:15,830 he phrases it way better than me, that's probably why he has his own private 310 00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:19,630 jet and beachfront property and stuff like that. But, but 311 00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:23,290 Who is this that says this? It was, Jordan Belfort, actually. 312 00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:28,785 Most famous in the well, you you nodded in recognition. But for those who don't 313 00:19:28,785 --> 00:19:30,965 know, the inspiration or, 314 00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:36,150 behind the the the movie Wolf of Wall Street. And the 315 00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:39,270 way he phrases it was pretty, like, you know, because I'm an easy person to 316 00:19:39,270 --> 00:19:42,865 sell to, but he contrasted that with his father who was 317 00:19:42,865 --> 00:19:46,625 not. And he's a his father was someone who was very hard 318 00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:50,370 to sell to. Right? So he kinda says, like, if your barrier or, 319 00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:54,590 the exact word was something along, threshold of action is 320 00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:58,235 low, you're a very easy 321 00:19:58,235 --> 00:20:01,675 person to to get into the sales world and you're easy person to be sold 322 00:20:01,675 --> 00:20:05,195 to. If your barrier to action, threshold to action is 323 00:20:05,195 --> 00:20:08,080 high, then that's the opposite is true. 324 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:12,860 It's it's it's totally true. And what I what I want people to see here 325 00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:16,355 because I think it makes it you know, theory is no good 326 00:20:16,495 --> 00:20:19,715 if this theory only works on a Monday 327 00:20:20,255 --> 00:20:24,095 when there's a lunar eclipse that only happens every 40 years at 328 00:20:24,095 --> 00:20:27,600 exact it's like who gives it. Right? So theory is 329 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,740 the theory is more powerful when it works 330 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,545 across more contexts. So what you did the example you just 331 00:20:35,545 --> 00:20:39,305 gave with Jordan Belfort in him basically saying, like, part of the reason I'm 332 00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:42,845 a great salesperson is because, like, I both I I'm willing 333 00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:46,740 both to sell and to be sold to. You will see the 334 00:20:46,740 --> 00:20:50,580 same energy in other leadership dynamics at work, and you 335 00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:54,375 see the same energy in homes. Like, I think the classic one 336 00:20:54,375 --> 00:20:57,835 that people can, like, almost laugh because we can all resonate with it 337 00:20:58,055 --> 00:21:01,450 is how many times has someone shouted at you, 338 00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:04,950 you start to get upset and, like, someone says, do you just need to calm 339 00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:08,505 down? It's like never in the history of 340 00:21:08,505 --> 00:21:12,345 human beings calming down has someone shouting calm down 341 00:21:12,345 --> 00:21:16,100 at you actually got you to calm down. Why? 342 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,200 Because what it doesn't matter the words coming out of your mouth. I mean, you 343 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,660 you wanna talk about emotional intelligence versus, artificial 344 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,175 intelligence. It does the the words coming out of my 345 00:21:26,175 --> 00:21:29,934 mouth are like a secondary or a tertiary language. And you know this is 346 00:21:29,934 --> 00:21:33,235 true because plenty of times, you've had someone say, 347 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,580 I'm sorry. Yeah. 348 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,735 I heard those words coming out of your mouth, but that felt like 349 00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:45,575 the furthest thing from an apology. Because once 350 00:21:45,575 --> 00:21:49,335 again, emotions are the native and universal language 351 00:21:49,335 --> 00:21:53,130 of the human being. You see? So 352 00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:56,650 and if if we're serious about building something of meaning in our 353 00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,065 life, we gotta tell the 354 00:22:00,065 --> 00:22:03,664 emotional truth, and we gotta know what to do because this is the other piece. 355 00:22:03,664 --> 00:22:06,705 So energy rising is is the book again that I just wrote, and I think 356 00:22:06,705 --> 00:22:10,430 it's really an extraordinary book because it shows people how to really work 357 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,890 with their with their emotions. On the good days, 358 00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:17,685 on the days when things are working, the days when people are listening, the days 359 00:22:17,685 --> 00:22:20,025 when people are buying, I don't really need any help. There's just enough momentum being 360 00:22:20,325 --> 00:22:24,130 generated. And There's just enough 361 00:22:24,130 --> 00:22:27,890 momentum being generated. And if I'm really honest about it, not that I didn't contribute 362 00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:31,585 to that momentum, but a lot of other people are paying into 363 00:22:31,585 --> 00:22:34,385 my momentum. You see? When my kids just get in the car, when I say 364 00:22:34,385 --> 00:22:38,180 get in the car, when my customers just buy, when my etcetera, etcetera. 365 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:41,620 Yeah. But you were, like, centered in, not for lack of better term. You were 366 00:22:41,620 --> 00:22:45,300 centered in that, like, get in the car. Yeah. Right? And I I've 367 00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:49,004 noticed even even dogs do that too. Right? I have bunch of dogs and, like, 368 00:22:49,004 --> 00:22:51,985 they can tell when I'm serious and when I'm not. 369 00:22:52,845 --> 00:22:56,630 Right? Oh, right. The kids can too. Well, that goes back to this idea of 370 00:22:56,630 --> 00:23:00,390 emotions being, like, the this energy of contagion. When I really mean it, get 371 00:23:00,390 --> 00:23:03,930 in the car. There's, like, a different frequency that I emit 372 00:23:04,284 --> 00:23:07,725 as opposed to when I'm like, can can you it's like more of a 373 00:23:07,725 --> 00:23:11,565 question. Right? Would you kindly go in the car? Yeah. People 374 00:23:11,565 --> 00:23:14,889 think it's a good idea to get in the car now. Right? Right. 375 00:23:15,669 --> 00:23:19,110 But the the piece I wanna make here is that when when 376 00:23:19,110 --> 00:23:22,169 we're having good days, when we're in our good feelings, 377 00:23:22,845 --> 00:23:26,685 things there just tends to be a natural flow. So if we're 378 00:23:26,685 --> 00:23:30,465 interested in power in our lives, there is a fundamental 379 00:23:30,765 --> 00:23:34,490 question. And, guys, this question is so powerful. 380 00:23:34,490 --> 00:23:38,030 It has the power to change the direction of the world. 381 00:23:39,905 --> 00:23:43,605 Who do I become in the energy of my my painful 382 00:23:43,745 --> 00:23:47,560 emotions? Who do I become when I 383 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,920 start to get triggered? Who do I become when I start to get anxious? Who 384 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,935 do I become when I start to get stressed? Who do I become when I 385 00:23:53,935 --> 00:23:57,475 start to get afraid? If you don't have an answer to that question, 386 00:23:57,855 --> 00:24:00,950 you are at the mercy of 387 00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:04,149 these kind of emotional storms. 388 00:24:05,409 --> 00:24:09,169 Emotions are both to some degree predictable. We we can have 389 00:24:09,169 --> 00:24:12,914 a somewhat controlling relationship with them, but they're like weather. You 390 00:24:12,914 --> 00:24:16,730 cannot perfectly control them. So if you don't know how to answer the 391 00:24:16,730 --> 00:24:20,170 question, who do I become in the energy of doubt, 392 00:24:20,170 --> 00:24:23,995 uncertainty, fear, and stress, you can't 393 00:24:23,995 --> 00:24:27,695 live a powerful life. That is very profound. 394 00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:31,294 And I know we don't have all the time today, 395 00:24:31,690 --> 00:24:35,289 but, one of the most impactful events in my life 396 00:24:35,289 --> 00:24:38,110 personally was I was at the trade center on 911. 397 00:24:38,925 --> 00:24:42,145 And I you know, when you talked about trauma, I was like, 398 00:24:43,005 --> 00:24:46,845 I have a lot of questions. But but You have to 399 00:24:46,845 --> 00:24:50,419 ask them. But, but no. You mean, you're right. Like, you know, 400 00:24:50,419 --> 00:24:54,260 like, who you are in those moments when it's raining bullets is really 401 00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:57,995 who you are. You know, when the weather is awesome and it's 402 00:24:57,995 --> 00:25:01,055 great, like, I mean, anybody could be nice, but, like, when 403 00:25:01,675 --> 00:25:04,255 when it's poor and hell and rain fire, like, 404 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:09,730 that's who you really are. Lincoln has a quote, like, if you really wanna 405 00:25:09,730 --> 00:25:13,415 understand distributed him, you know, 406 00:25:13,415 --> 00:25:16,695 give somebody power, then you really understand them. But I say no. I think you 407 00:25:16,695 --> 00:25:20,375 really understand someone when it's raining bullets and who 408 00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:24,040 comes out. Is it, I guess, a leader or someone 409 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,500 that or is it just someone who will just lash out everyone around them? 410 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,455 I think. Yeah. Yep. And then, you 411 00:25:31,455 --> 00:25:35,215 know, I I think a really useful definition for leadership and, 412 00:25:35,215 --> 00:25:38,970 again, like, don't get I want your listeners to not get attached to, like, it 413 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:42,730 doesn't matter if you're leading 25 people or it's just this idea 414 00:25:42,730 --> 00:25:45,905 of, like, do I wanna be powerful in my own life? 415 00:25:46,285 --> 00:25:49,485 Well, the most powerful person so my work, if I had to say, like, what 416 00:25:49,485 --> 00:25:53,185 is my work, my fundamental expertise, it's really the relationship between the brain, 417 00:25:53,450 --> 00:25:57,230 emotions, and relationships. So I work across all human relationships. 418 00:25:57,370 --> 00:26:00,750 Entrepreneurs, c suite of big companies, individuals, 419 00:26:01,049 --> 00:26:04,785 families, parents. And so there's 420 00:26:04,785 --> 00:26:08,405 this idea here of, you know, like, if 421 00:26:08,545 --> 00:26:11,205 I really want to be 422 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,760 have effect, have influence, have power 423 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,525 and, of course, I don't mean power over people. I just mean to be 424 00:26:20,525 --> 00:26:24,285 authentic and to to really have a vision and understand how 425 00:26:24,285 --> 00:26:27,805 to direct people towards my vision. I think the the most 426 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,720 the best definition I can give you for leadership is it is the 427 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,139 person in the room 428 00:26:35,375 --> 00:26:38,275 with the most potent emotional signal. 429 00:26:41,534 --> 00:26:45,260 That makes sense if we're herd creatures. I'm sorry. No. No. You go ahead. You 430 00:26:45,260 --> 00:26:48,620 go ahead. No. It makes sense if we're herd creatures. Right? We're social creatures and, 431 00:26:50,620 --> 00:26:54,425 I the I see a lot of my dogs. Right? 432 00:26:54,425 --> 00:26:57,705 I I live with a bunch of dogs. I've always had dogs almost all my 433 00:26:57,705 --> 00:27:01,065 life, and they always look to the 434 00:27:01,065 --> 00:27:04,630 alpha. Right, and the alpha dog to kind of guide the, 435 00:27:05,649 --> 00:27:09,330 the ship, so to speak. Right? And it's always the smallest dog 436 00:27:09,330 --> 00:27:13,005 except for one. It's always the 437 00:27:13,005 --> 00:27:16,365 dachshund, right, that kind of drives the bigger 438 00:27:16,365 --> 00:27:20,130 dogs. I think true? Is 439 00:27:20,130 --> 00:27:23,890 it always the the smallest dog that does it? I've only had in 440 00:27:23,890 --> 00:27:27,375 my experience, the only I had an Irish wolfhound 441 00:27:27,515 --> 00:27:31,275 who was kind of the alpha, and then ever the 442 00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:35,055 2 alphas since he passed away have been the small dogs. 443 00:27:35,420 --> 00:27:38,940 So I'm not really sure if that's the it's a a 444 00:27:38,940 --> 00:27:42,460 true statistical mean statistically meaningful observation or 445 00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:45,895 just the luck of the draw. That's really 446 00:27:45,895 --> 00:27:49,275 interesting. But I think your point is a is an excellent one, which is, like, 447 00:27:49,975 --> 00:27:53,355 how you establish your authority 448 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:57,640 so people can trust you, so you can lead people to the vision really 449 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,940 depends on, like, how convicted are you in your own energy. 450 00:28:02,434 --> 00:28:05,895 Right. Right. That's an interesting point. 451 00:28:07,645 --> 00:28:11,290 What what are your thoughts on 452 00:28:11,530 --> 00:28:14,910 you know, right now, we're focused on the cognitive aspects of AI. 453 00:28:15,585 --> 00:28:18,965 Do you think we'll ever get machines to understand emotions? 454 00:28:20,225 --> 00:28:22,645 I think about this a lot. You know, 455 00:28:23,940 --> 00:28:27,560 Here's what I'm gonna tell you. Okay? So in this really 456 00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:30,920 this really sort of segues well with what we just talked about. 457 00:28:32,145 --> 00:28:35,985 And you're hearing people say this in other ways about AI. AI 458 00:28:35,985 --> 00:28:39,665 is only as good as the information that 459 00:28:39,665 --> 00:28:43,420 we're able to feed it. So if I 460 00:28:43,420 --> 00:28:47,180 say if I go because I do so in addition to, like, 461 00:28:47,180 --> 00:28:50,140 doing a lot of work. I'd I my my work really has 2 branches. 1 462 00:28:50,140 --> 00:28:53,755 is all my kind of business based work. This is, like, with the entrepreneurs, the 463 00:28:53,755 --> 00:28:57,435 founders, the the, c suites, things like this. But then I 464 00:28:57,435 --> 00:28:59,935 also have a clinical practice, so I I see patients. 465 00:29:02,679 --> 00:29:06,280 If I I guess what I wanna say here is this, is 466 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,865 that if I go to see a therapist, a psychologist, 467 00:29:10,005 --> 00:29:12,184 or whomever, and I'm sort of talking about 468 00:29:15,125 --> 00:29:18,780 my feelings where peep where most people start, they have no 469 00:29:18,780 --> 00:29:22,540 idea what they're actually saying. I could see that. They 470 00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:24,620 kinda have a sense. You know what I mean? Like, they they they have a 471 00:29:24,620 --> 00:29:28,054 sense that they're because what happens is people will come in and they'll say I'm 472 00:29:28,054 --> 00:29:31,894 in a lot of pain. Make the pain stop. And they'll they'll 473 00:29:31,894 --> 00:29:35,335 be able to say all the ways all the things that 474 00:29:35,335 --> 00:29:38,360 hurt, but they won't be able to say what can fix it. So they'll say, 475 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,720 like, my spouse is doing x, y, and z, my kids, my 476 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,455 coworkers. Right? But if you say to them, okay. Well, what do you think the 477 00:29:45,455 --> 00:29:48,654 solution is? They're gonna say, well, obviously, if I knew what the solution was, like, 478 00:29:48,654 --> 00:29:52,440 I wouldn't be here talking to you, which but my point here is 479 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,280 that going back to this idea of, 480 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,900 it is a motion that is setting the temperature for this planet. 481 00:30:01,145 --> 00:30:04,365 Until the human brain changes, until we're able to, like, 482 00:30:04,585 --> 00:30:08,390 biohack and fundamentally change the human nervous system, Human 483 00:30:08,390 --> 00:30:11,530 consciousness rises on the energy of emotion. 484 00:30:13,270 --> 00:30:16,870 Now for most of us, we've got a lot of messages. If you think about 485 00:30:16,870 --> 00:30:20,455 what's happening to the the brain during childhood, it's 486 00:30:20,455 --> 00:30:24,215 astounding. It's you know, a 1000000 neural connections are being built 487 00:30:24,215 --> 00:30:27,430 every single second in years 1 through 0 through 488 00:30:27,670 --> 00:30:31,430 basically 3. I mean, just the amount of development that the the brain undergoes 489 00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:34,790 is is astounding in childhood. And so we're getting a lot of 490 00:30:34,790 --> 00:30:37,875 messages in childhood to stop paying attention to our our 491 00:30:38,575 --> 00:30:42,115 emotions. And I'm not even saying catastrophic traumatizing ones. 492 00:30:42,895 --> 00:30:46,440 Sit down. I I didn't wanna sit down. I wanted to stand 493 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,800 up. Wear this. I didn't feel like I wanted to wear 494 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,180 that. Eat that. I don't think my body likes that. 495 00:30:53,414 --> 00:30:57,115 Keep your mouth shut. Go tell her you're sorry. I'm not right? 496 00:30:57,174 --> 00:31:00,774 So from the moment we're born, we're getting a lot of messages. And even from 497 00:31:00,774 --> 00:31:04,480 parents who I think, by a lot of accounts, do a really good job 498 00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:08,700 to stop really having this deep emotional and somatic intelligence. Do you see 499 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:12,405 what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. We're we're kind of shutting out 500 00:31:12,405 --> 00:31:16,005 that that in in hate nature. And it it's really resonates with me 501 00:31:16,005 --> 00:31:19,705 because I have, 3 kids. I have an 18 month old and, 502 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,400 a 9 year old and a 14 year old. So, like, I'm kind of seeing 503 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:27,000 it from Yeah. And I'm an I'm an only child. So, like, so the whole 504 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,835 sibling relationship thing is foreign to me. So it's fascinating 505 00:31:30,895 --> 00:31:33,395 to watch that develop. And, 506 00:31:34,255 --> 00:31:38,015 it's, you're right. Like, even this morning, I'm like, would you please get in your 507 00:31:38,015 --> 00:31:41,809 car seat? Like, you can't. He did not wanna go in his 508 00:31:41,809 --> 00:31:45,570 car seat today. But Yeah. But but the point here is if you're thinking 509 00:31:45,570 --> 00:31:49,294 about who is programming the you know, like, how how do we and I don't 510 00:31:49,294 --> 00:31:53,054 mean, like, Jim and Susie who are the programmers. They're not a but 511 00:31:53,054 --> 00:31:56,820 it's like there's sort of a collective point I'm trying to make about the 512 00:31:56,820 --> 00:31:59,880 planet is how in touch are we really 513 00:32:00,980 --> 00:32:04,695 with sort of the somatic and emotional intelligence on our own body. So then if 514 00:32:04,695 --> 00:32:08,215 I'm designing a thing to help people feel better, can 515 00:32:08,215 --> 00:32:11,975 it? And then when people come to use it, then this is a 516 00:32:11,975 --> 00:32:15,790 really big point. If I come and I and I cannot stress 517 00:32:15,790 --> 00:32:19,150 this point enough, people will always start asking the wrong 518 00:32:19,150 --> 00:32:22,885 question. I could see that. Right? Because it's 519 00:32:23,045 --> 00:32:26,725 it people tend to focus on symptoms, not necessarily the 520 00:32:26,725 --> 00:32:30,430 cause. And maybe that's even doubly so. Because they're 521 00:32:30,430 --> 00:32:33,230 they're basically gonna say, like, how can I get my how can I get these 522 00:32:33,230 --> 00:32:37,075 people around me to change? Right. You want the answer? That's that's 523 00:32:37,154 --> 00:32:39,975 Save yourself, like, years of their you cannot. 524 00:32:41,154 --> 00:32:44,934 So the question then becomes, how do I renegotiate my reality 525 00:32:45,330 --> 00:32:49,010 if I assume these people, whether they're my customers, the people 526 00:32:49,010 --> 00:32:52,850 on my team, my kids, my wife, are not it's not reasonable for me 527 00:32:52,850 --> 00:32:56,434 to expect that they're gonna make a massive behavioral shift. So the very 528 00:32:56,434 --> 00:33:00,054 question that people always start to ask is never the right one. 529 00:33:02,250 --> 00:33:06,010 Right. So how do I interface with the machine? Can the 530 00:33:06,010 --> 00:33:09,855 machine really I I don't know. But I would say if I had to 531 00:33:09,855 --> 00:33:13,455 make a hierarchy, human emotion will be the fine if it ever 532 00:33:13,455 --> 00:33:16,929 happens, it will be the final frontier. And that's what I think is so powerful 533 00:33:16,929 --> 00:33:19,190 and so sacred about emotion. 534 00:33:20,529 --> 00:33:24,195 Right. And I think it would be interesting to not not 535 00:33:24,195 --> 00:33:27,715 not now, but, like, ponder, like, what was the origin of 536 00:33:27,715 --> 00:33:30,935 emotion? Like, what what made that happen? Right? Because it's so 537 00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:36,179 inherent to from what we can tell advanced nervous systems. Right? Like, it 538 00:33:36,179 --> 00:33:39,835 just seems to was it the 539 00:33:39,835 --> 00:33:43,434 was it the first driver? Was it the prime driver for what we 540 00:33:43,434 --> 00:33:47,195 call intelligence or, dare I say, consciousness? Right? Because that's a whole loaded 541 00:33:47,195 --> 00:33:51,010 word too. It is a loaded word. I I've 542 00:33:51,010 --> 00:33:54,310 been watching a lot of, Star Trek The Next Generation, like, reruns, 543 00:33:55,090 --> 00:33:58,915 and it's always interesting to see how the eighties 544 00:33:58,915 --> 00:34:02,515 nineties impression of AI was compared to what we see 545 00:34:02,515 --> 00:34:06,330 today. Right? So, you know, a big plot point, if you're 546 00:34:06,330 --> 00:34:08,909 not familiar with it is the android character, 547 00:34:10,650 --> 00:34:14,385 has no emotions. Right? So he processes things only from, like, a logical 548 00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:18,145 point of view. And, like, one of his character arts throughout the show 549 00:34:18,145 --> 00:34:21,940 is he's trying to figure out how to work with humans and human emotions. 550 00:34:21,940 --> 00:34:25,699 Right? Like so it's kinda like it's interesting to see that. 551 00:34:25,699 --> 00:34:29,185 Right? And then and then they they they and then there's another character 552 00:34:29,185 --> 00:34:32,784 who that's all she does. Like, she's an empath. Right? She can sense 553 00:34:32,784 --> 00:34:36,405 emotions. So you kinda have somebody who's, like, cranked to 11 on 554 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:40,739 the e IQ scale, and you have someone who's there cranked to 11 555 00:34:40,739 --> 00:34:44,260 on the EQ square scale, which I I don't know how you feel about the 556 00:34:44,260 --> 00:34:47,895 EQ term that floats out there in ether. 557 00:34:48,195 --> 00:34:52,034 But it's interesting to kinda see them oddly enough in the show, they 558 00:34:52,034 --> 00:34:55,570 generally don't interact. Now they think about it. But, 559 00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:00,590 all of which is to say, I think you're right. Like, you know, will that 560 00:35:00,590 --> 00:35:03,490 ever be something that machines can approximate? 561 00:35:04,474 --> 00:35:08,015 Or do they have to approximate it to 562 00:35:08,474 --> 00:35:12,280 understand it? And I say understand in the sense of be able to 563 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:16,040 process that as process that as input. Right. Right? Because all the 564 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,775 call centers, right, they hear when you're angry. Like, there's an AI in there 565 00:35:19,775 --> 00:35:23,615 that supposedly hears here detects anger and then routes you to a person 566 00:35:23,615 --> 00:35:27,430 sooner. So sorry. I cut you off. Oh, no. I think what you're saying 567 00:35:27,430 --> 00:35:31,270 is really interesting. Yeah. So to your point, like, will what what 568 00:35:31,270 --> 00:35:34,724 does it mean? What is and then also, there's this other question is, like, what 569 00:35:34,724 --> 00:35:38,565 does relief look like? So and, you know, this is 570 00:35:38,565 --> 00:35:41,970 a question I think we sit with in the field of of mental 571 00:35:41,970 --> 00:35:45,810 health quite readily is, like, what does recovery look like? What 572 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:49,650 does healing look like? So if 573 00:35:49,650 --> 00:35:53,424 I can get somebody out 574 00:35:53,424 --> 00:35:55,605 of a a a bad specific situation, 575 00:35:57,825 --> 00:36:01,570 that could be a win. What I tend to see, though, is there's an 576 00:36:01,570 --> 00:36:05,410 enduring there's a very, very enduring underlying pattern. My favorite 577 00:36:05,410 --> 00:36:08,694 quote in the world is everywhere you go, there you are. So I I can't 578 00:36:08,694 --> 00:36:11,575 tell you how many people I have worked with who swear, like, as soon as 579 00:36:11,575 --> 00:36:15,095 I change this job, it's gonna be better. As soon as I fix up my 580 00:36:15,095 --> 00:36:18,460 house, it's gonna be better. As soon as I get a new relationship, it's gonna 581 00:36:18,460 --> 00:36:22,060 be better. Well, you know, you get a you you change the job, the 582 00:36:22,060 --> 00:36:25,755 relationship, the house, whatever. You get a spike for, I don't know, 6 weeks, 583 00:36:25,755 --> 00:36:29,455 6 months, but then you return to the underlying pattern because 584 00:36:29,835 --> 00:36:33,195 you're the one carrying the blueprint. Right? That's why I wrote energy rising. It's like, 585 00:36:33,195 --> 00:36:36,440 what does it actually take to fundamentally alter 586 00:36:36,900 --> 00:36:40,100 our nervous system so we can really live these in 587 00:36:40,340 --> 00:36:43,704 empowering, meaningful lives that feel 588 00:36:43,704 --> 00:36:47,545 like a relief. I think so many of us are just running around so stressed 589 00:36:47,545 --> 00:36:51,370 out, so clenched. So, you know, could could an AI device, 590 00:36:51,370 --> 00:36:54,570 like, help you solve the specific you know, you could talk to the thing now. 591 00:36:54,570 --> 00:36:57,645 It's like my kid's acting up. What should I do? And it will it will 592 00:36:57,725 --> 00:37:01,485 give you a a reasonably intel like, regulate yourself 593 00:37:01,485 --> 00:37:04,305 first. And but the thing about human emotion is, like, 594 00:37:05,619 --> 00:37:09,140 the the logic behind a lot of 595 00:37:09,140 --> 00:37:12,900 the mindset mental health work is not rocket 596 00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:16,425 science. You know, I do a lot of work in 597 00:37:16,425 --> 00:37:20,025 couples. I do a lot of work in couples. And we say in couples 598 00:37:20,025 --> 00:37:23,485 therapy, the couple has the same fight for 50 years. 599 00:37:24,090 --> 00:37:27,690 This is true. It doesn't change a millimeter. The 600 00:37:27,690 --> 00:37:31,225 details will be different, but the substance of the argument is always, you don't respect 601 00:37:31,305 --> 00:37:33,865 me. No. You don't respect me. No. You don't love me. No. You don't love 602 00:37:33,865 --> 00:37:37,625 me. So, you know, if I if I 603 00:37:37,625 --> 00:37:41,430 don't change the underlying pattern, I'm just 604 00:37:41,430 --> 00:37:44,170 gonna keep seeing it over and over and over and over again. 605 00:37:45,110 --> 00:37:48,010 So how does the machine get into that? I don't know. 606 00:37:48,915 --> 00:37:52,535 Well and I don't think people have realistically figured it out either. Right? Like, 607 00:37:52,755 --> 00:37:56,215 you you described so many people I've known in my life, 608 00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,240 you know, that they were always my 609 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,760 mom would call it chasing rainbows. Right? I get the new job. I get the 610 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,885 new car. I get the new house. I get this. I get that. Then everything 611 00:38:06,885 --> 00:38:10,565 will be better. Ironically, my mom was one of the worst people in that regard. 612 00:38:10,565 --> 00:38:14,085 God rest her soul. But she could always pick it out on other 613 00:38:14,085 --> 00:38:17,859 people. Pathologically optimistic or what was your mom's opinion? It was more 614 00:38:18,319 --> 00:38:21,859 it was more like everything's gonna be fine when this happens. Okay. 615 00:38:21,895 --> 00:38:25,735 Yeah. Like, that type of when this happens, everything will be fine. And 616 00:38:25,735 --> 00:38:29,415 then to your point, like, when you show up, when x 617 00:38:29,415 --> 00:38:33,100 happens, things aren't fine. Like, you know, maybe for a couple of 618 00:38:33,100 --> 00:38:36,640 days. But, like, it was something that another family member, 619 00:38:38,540 --> 00:38:42,325 said that, you know, something to the effect of and 620 00:38:42,325 --> 00:38:45,945 there's he said it way more crass because he's a member of my family. 621 00:38:46,005 --> 00:38:49,810 And, he said something to the effect of, I bet 622 00:38:49,810 --> 00:38:53,650 even in heaven, the toilets get clogged. Right? 623 00:38:53,650 --> 00:38:56,950 The idea is that there's always a problem somewhere. Right? And just 624 00:38:58,555 --> 00:39:01,215 I don't wanna attribute more deep thought than he warrants 625 00:39:03,355 --> 00:39:07,140 or less than he warrants, but I think the idea was, like, look. Even even 626 00:39:07,140 --> 00:39:10,740 if you have everything you want, something bad's gonna happen. And 627 00:39:10,740 --> 00:39:14,520 then the the real question is, how do you deal with that? Do you 628 00:39:14,935 --> 00:39:18,295 scream at the sky and say, oh, or do you just get a plunger and 629 00:39:18,295 --> 00:39:22,135 deal with it? Right? Right. Well and also too, like, I think, you know, 630 00:39:22,135 --> 00:39:25,530 I think there's so much power in in language. It's really kind of one of 631 00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:28,890 the defining features of what makes our 632 00:39:28,890 --> 00:39:32,415 species, humans. You know, we understand, like, why we think we have the 633 00:39:32,415 --> 00:39:35,795 intelligence we have. So I think words really carry a a power and an energy. 634 00:39:36,415 --> 00:39:39,395 I think what's really interesting is a a synonym 635 00:39:39,775 --> 00:39:43,349 for problem is pain. So in 636 00:39:43,349 --> 00:39:47,130 energy rising, I talk a lot about emotional pain. And I don't mean 637 00:39:47,589 --> 00:39:51,275 excruciating trauma. I mean, my definition for 638 00:39:51,275 --> 00:39:54,955 emotional pain is anytime your nervous system gets triggered in a 639 00:39:54,955 --> 00:39:58,715 bad way. So you're frustrated, you're irritated, you're annoyed, you're stressed, 640 00:39:58,715 --> 00:40:02,240 you're upset. You're bothered all the way up to you're enraged. Right? 641 00:40:03,580 --> 00:40:07,075 You're sad. You're scared. I mean, all of it. So a a 642 00:40:07,075 --> 00:40:10,295 real synonym for problem is actually pain. 643 00:40:11,555 --> 00:40:15,020 Because until you have and this is why I keep saying 644 00:40:15,020 --> 00:40:18,700 your consciousness rises on the energy of your emotion. Until 645 00:40:18,700 --> 00:40:22,080 you have a bad feeling, what I call a painful feeling, 646 00:40:22,460 --> 00:40:25,505 you do not have a problem. This is 647 00:40:25,964 --> 00:40:29,805 a good story. Like it's clogged and you got you got no feeling 648 00:40:29,805 --> 00:40:32,684 about it, like, in other words, you're like, oh, I knew you know, there's a 649 00:40:32,684 --> 00:40:36,220 plumber coming tomorrow. It's good. It's gonna get fixed. You don't have a a meaningful 650 00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:40,060 problem. If you get fired from your job and you're 651 00:40:40,060 --> 00:40:43,180 like, you know what? I didn't really like that job anyway. Like, I actually kinda, 652 00:40:43,180 --> 00:40:46,335 you know, I gotta figure it out, but I feel more relief than anything. You 653 00:40:46,335 --> 00:40:49,694 don't really have a problem. So what I'm what I'm saying here 654 00:40:49,694 --> 00:40:53,180 is human reality is defined 655 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,400 by the energy of emotion. And so when we want to understand our lives 656 00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:00,885 powerfully, we wanna have powerful relationships. We wanna have meaningful 657 00:41:01,105 --> 00:41:04,945 satisfaction. We wanna have an enduring sense of we're 658 00:41:04,945 --> 00:41:08,510 okay, worthiness. This is the whole reason I wrote 659 00:41:08,510 --> 00:41:12,350 energy rising. And I think, again, you know, energy rising is broken down into 660 00:41:12,350 --> 00:41:16,115 what I call 8 neuroenergetic codes. Each one 661 00:41:16,115 --> 00:41:19,474 is like a a blueprint for how to work with your nervous 662 00:41:19,474 --> 00:41:23,315 system. There's tons of practical examples. There's case studies. 663 00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:27,069 It's it's really quite I know I'm biased. I hope every author feels this way 664 00:41:27,069 --> 00:41:30,750 about their book. I it's really an extraordinary book. Very cool. 665 00:41:30,750 --> 00:41:33,615 I I definitely I see that it's available on, 666 00:41:34,175 --> 00:41:37,855 Audible as well as Kindle and paper. And Noble. I'm 667 00:41:37,855 --> 00:41:40,255 actually, this is I've been all I, 668 00:41:41,890 --> 00:41:45,090 I've traveled all over the world to sort of talk about the book. I'm headed 669 00:41:45,090 --> 00:41:48,369 to Copenhagen. I just got back from San Diego. I got back from Michigan. I'm 670 00:41:48,369 --> 00:41:52,164 going down to Saint Louis. But, this this weekend, I'm doing my first this 671 00:41:52,164 --> 00:41:55,444 is I'm kind of excited because I haven't done anything like this. I've done tons 672 00:41:55,444 --> 00:41:58,825 of events, but, I'm doing my first book signing in a bookstore. 673 00:41:59,220 --> 00:42:02,760 So I feel like I have a very yeah. Like, a very cute sort of 674 00:42:02,980 --> 00:42:06,820 nostalgic feeling about that. Very cool. Very 675 00:42:06,820 --> 00:42:10,495 cool. I, I definitely gonna pick up the audio book because I 676 00:42:10,495 --> 00:42:13,235 spend a lot of time in the car and a lot of time in it. 677 00:42:13,455 --> 00:42:17,050 Yeah. Yeah. Definitely won't definitely wanna check it out. And for those of you, that 678 00:42:17,050 --> 00:42:20,670 are listening and you wanna check it out, you go to the data driven book.com, 679 00:42:21,450 --> 00:42:25,205 and, you'll get one free audible book on us. And if you 680 00:42:25,205 --> 00:42:28,425 decide to pursue that, then you help support the show. 681 00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:32,940 Andy is nodding. He's, he's been quiet because he's had some we'll 682 00:42:32,940 --> 00:42:36,220 just blame it on the eclipse. How about that? Because everybody's gonna blame it today 683 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:39,835 on the eclipse. But yeah. So Yeah. 684 00:42:40,395 --> 00:42:44,155 No. I I really appreciate this conversation. I know it's kind of a bit different 685 00:42:44,155 --> 00:42:47,515 from the usual, but I I mean, I I I think it's important because as 686 00:42:47,515 --> 00:42:51,350 we build out more and more intelligent systems, the word loaded 687 00:42:51,350 --> 00:42:55,109 language we use in terms of intelligent is not necessarily emotional 688 00:42:55,109 --> 00:42:57,825 intelligence. And from what you're saying, and, 689 00:42:58,865 --> 00:43:02,405 I do agree, like, emotional intelligence or emotions 690 00:43:03,105 --> 00:43:06,325 are a even richer carrier of meaning 691 00:43:06,910 --> 00:43:10,510 and depth and content than kind 692 00:43:10,510 --> 00:43:14,049 of, you know, just good old fashioned left brained, 693 00:43:14,795 --> 00:43:17,675 type stuff. And I I don't know. I don't I can't tell if you cringed 694 00:43:17,675 --> 00:43:20,555 or whatever because I've had different people tell me, like, the left brain, right brain 695 00:43:20,555 --> 00:43:24,230 thing isn't a real thing. That's that's probably warrants its 696 00:43:24,230 --> 00:43:27,910 own episode and or book. Those things that we 697 00:43:27,910 --> 00:43:30,985 talk about in the in the brain, and this will come as no surprise. Those 698 00:43:31,065 --> 00:43:33,865 Those things that we talk about in the brain and sort of the the popular 699 00:43:33,865 --> 00:43:37,245 vernacular, the popular press Right. It's it's aggressively 700 00:43:37,385 --> 00:43:41,010 oversimplified, but that's okay. You know, it's like people think the amygdala is 701 00:43:41,010 --> 00:43:44,049 about fear. You know? I think the amygdala is, like, the most famous piece of 702 00:43:44,049 --> 00:43:47,829 the brain, probably. Right. Right. The the amygdala is really about emotional learning. 703 00:43:47,890 --> 00:43:51,454 So it's kind of accurate that it's about fear, but it's much broader than that. 704 00:43:51,675 --> 00:43:54,655 You know what I mean? Interesting. So Yeah. Yeah. The love and my brain thing. 705 00:43:55,035 --> 00:43:58,460 It's hard to collapse. That is. Yeah. Years of 706 00:43:58,460 --> 00:44:02,220 study that you've done into a meme. I mean, that's 707 00:44:02,220 --> 00:44:05,945 that's just that is that is a level of compression which I 708 00:44:05,945 --> 00:44:08,905 think anyone's ever gonna figure out. But I will know. But I I actually go 709 00:44:08,905 --> 00:44:12,745 the opposite. I actually go the opposite way. So, like, I think 710 00:44:12,745 --> 00:44:16,430 I think it's really cool that, so I've worked in the 711 00:44:16,430 --> 00:44:19,890 ivory tower. Like I said, lots of lot of, academic 712 00:44:19,950 --> 00:44:23,725 medicine background. You know, the I I finished 713 00:44:23,725 --> 00:44:27,485 my training out in Boston, and, I 714 00:44:27,485 --> 00:44:31,185 started doing these, I because we had all this amazing 715 00:44:32,710 --> 00:44:36,470 information, data research on stress and the 716 00:44:36,470 --> 00:44:40,150 body and our relationships, and a lot of it was, like, locked up in the 717 00:44:40,150 --> 00:44:43,615 ivory tower. And so I actually the way my this kind of 718 00:44:43,615 --> 00:44:47,375 dimension of my career started is I have always been into, 719 00:44:48,015 --> 00:44:51,810 like, public service and and advocacy 720 00:44:51,870 --> 00:44:55,550 around mental health. This is just always been something in my family system and 721 00:44:55,550 --> 00:44:58,690 my childhood. So I started going to the library 722 00:44:59,215 --> 00:45:02,755 and giving talks for free. Just, you know, I'm like Interesting. The 723 00:45:03,055 --> 00:45:06,435 the well-being brain stress connection or whatever. Right? 724 00:45:06,869 --> 00:45:10,650 And I joke that I became library famous. Like, the librarians 725 00:45:10,789 --> 00:45:14,605 would be like, we it's standing room only. We 726 00:45:14,605 --> 00:45:18,285 haven't seen a crowd this big in the library. And what 727 00:45:18,285 --> 00:45:22,040 I realized again is, like, people are so 728 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:25,740 hungry and so curious as as they rightfully should be 729 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:29,744 about their life. And how our 730 00:45:29,744 --> 00:45:33,424 brain works is such a big piece of the puzzle. So I actually 731 00:45:33,424 --> 00:45:37,125 don't get a as long as people aren't giving dangerous advice, 732 00:45:37,490 --> 00:45:41,330 the simplification, I think, is essential, and I actually think 733 00:45:41,330 --> 00:45:45,170 it's a really beautiful thing. That's a good way to put it. That's a 734 00:45:45,170 --> 00:45:47,935 good way to put it. And I know we're coming close on time, but you 735 00:45:47,935 --> 00:45:51,775 said something that made me wonder. And, again, I get this kinda 736 00:45:51,775 --> 00:45:55,240 gets that. What NLP has two meanings, natural 737 00:45:55,240 --> 00:45:58,840 language processing and AI world, but also in the sales world, you'll hear it 738 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,600 uses neurolinguistic programming. And you said that language is 739 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:06,315 very powerful. Is that 740 00:46:06,315 --> 00:46:09,994 is that a is is neurolinguistic programming, like, is that a real 741 00:46:09,994 --> 00:46:12,635 thing? Is that pop size? Is it somewhere in the middle? Is it kinda like, 742 00:46:12,635 --> 00:46:15,750 you know, the amygdala example you gave? Tell me. I don't I've heard of it. 743 00:46:15,750 --> 00:46:19,510 I don't know. Tell me. Give me a a recap. Neurolinguistic programming is 744 00:46:19,510 --> 00:46:22,730 just the idea of how you say things and how you phrase things 745 00:46:23,525 --> 00:46:27,125 shift not just the way you influence other people, but also in how you 746 00:46:27,125 --> 00:46:30,859 influence yourself. Yeah. I mean, if 747 00:46:30,859 --> 00:46:34,619 if that's the premise of it, I I again, like, I don't know anything 748 00:46:34,619 --> 00:46:38,185 about but I I'll sort of talk about, you know, why do we think 749 00:46:38,185 --> 00:46:42,025 talk therapy works? Well, we thought think talk therapy works is if 750 00:46:42,025 --> 00:46:45,325 you really think about the neuroscience of it is emotions 751 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:49,720 are basically subcortical processes. Meaning, they're they're kind 752 00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:52,599 of held in you know, so there you have the the subcortical regions of the 753 00:46:52,599 --> 00:46:55,320 brain, and then you have the cortical, the more advanced. This is where we think 754 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:59,145 about thinking and emotion regulation and all this executive function stuff 755 00:46:59,145 --> 00:47:02,825 that you hear people talking about. So we think that the the 756 00:47:02,825 --> 00:47:06,650 healthiest brain is an integrated brain, a brain that 757 00:47:06,650 --> 00:47:10,410 knows what it feels and feels what it knows. Right? So what happens 758 00:47:10,410 --> 00:47:13,825 in talk therapy, for example, is I'm running this 759 00:47:13,825 --> 00:47:17,365 program, and the sensations in my body feel like 760 00:47:18,065 --> 00:47:21,105 I suck. I suck. I'm no good. Nobody wants me. I can't get what I 761 00:47:21,105 --> 00:47:24,760 want. My life is bad. I don't count. And so what 762 00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:28,460 happens when we start to take those emotional sensations, which are wordless, 763 00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:32,325 they're just this emotional energy, and we translate them into words, and we start to 764 00:47:32,325 --> 00:47:36,085 say, like, oh, is it true that I'm all bad 765 00:47:36,085 --> 00:47:39,910 all the time? No. Is there any evidence 766 00:47:39,910 --> 00:47:43,670 to the contrary? Or if you think about trauma processing, what happens 767 00:47:43,670 --> 00:47:47,355 with trauma processing is because the trauma is by definition 768 00:47:47,495 --> 00:47:51,335 so horrible, the brain says, let us not think about it. Let us avoid 769 00:47:51,335 --> 00:47:55,150 it. Let us repress it. Well, we we are so clear. We 770 00:47:55,150 --> 00:47:58,990 have tremendous amount of evidence based treatments and really good studies that show 771 00:47:58,990 --> 00:48:02,645 that when people talk about the trauma, yeah, it doesn't feel 772 00:48:02,645 --> 00:48:06,405 great to talk about a really painful thing. But what happens is we 773 00:48:06,405 --> 00:48:09,545 get to organize an inherently chaotic event 774 00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:13,580 into words. And when we when we put the 775 00:48:13,580 --> 00:48:16,880 linear kind of the linear model of language 776 00:48:17,420 --> 00:48:20,895 on these emotions, it really is quite 777 00:48:20,895 --> 00:48:24,434 transformative. So the ways that we talk about ourselves, 778 00:48:25,694 --> 00:48:29,490 it matters profoundly. It also matters, 779 00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:32,130 like I think a lot of times this is why I don't really tell people 780 00:48:32,130 --> 00:48:35,670 to do affirmations. Like, if I stand in front of the mirror and go, 781 00:48:36,315 --> 00:48:39,795 I am so great. Everyone loves 782 00:48:39,795 --> 00:48:42,815 me. I am the most interesting, attractive, 783 00:48:43,675 --> 00:48:46,130 smart, con my brain's like 784 00:48:47,089 --> 00:48:50,529 bull bull bull So, 785 00:48:50,529 --> 00:48:54,130 again, I would much more rather have someone say, what 786 00:48:54,130 --> 00:48:57,875 is the edge? And I talk a lot about this energy rising. What 787 00:48:57,875 --> 00:49:00,695 is the edge of what I could say that is true? 788 00:49:02,035 --> 00:49:05,555 Right. So instead of, for example, saying, I don't give a shit what people think 789 00:49:05,555 --> 00:49:09,320 about me, It's more true to say, I actually 790 00:49:09,380 --> 00:49:13,060 really care a lot what people think about me. And even though I 791 00:49:13,060 --> 00:49:16,665 care that they think this way about me, I'm still willing to take 792 00:49:16,665 --> 00:49:20,345 these risks and do x, y, and z. It's like we've 793 00:49:20,345 --> 00:49:24,030 got to link language to the truth of our emotion in 794 00:49:24,030 --> 00:49:27,550 order to evolve the emotion so we can become more 795 00:49:27,550 --> 00:49:31,150 powerful. So that was kind of a long way of saying, yeah. Like, I absolutely 796 00:49:31,150 --> 00:49:34,625 think that the way we language our emotional 797 00:49:34,685 --> 00:49:37,905 experiences matters profoundly to us and other people. 798 00:49:38,445 --> 00:49:41,325 That's a great way to put it. And I suspect that also is probably a 799 00:49:41,325 --> 00:49:44,570 big part of why when you write about something emotional or traumatic 800 00:49:44,950 --> 00:49:48,710 Correct. It's very cathartic. It's very cathartic. Correct. Because what you're 801 00:49:48,710 --> 00:49:52,424 actually doing at the neural level is you're you're, like, 802 00:49:52,424 --> 00:49:56,125 organizing in a linear fashion something that's inherently 803 00:49:56,265 --> 00:50:00,069 nebulous and a lot of times overwhelming. So then then it becomes 804 00:50:00,069 --> 00:50:03,670 this, like, integrated moment, and people get not just 805 00:50:03,670 --> 00:50:06,410 instant relief, but they tend to get lasting relief. 806 00:50:07,675 --> 00:50:11,115 Right. That's a good point. That's a good point. 807 00:50:11,355 --> 00:50:14,575 This has been an awesome conversation. Again, the book is energy 808 00:50:15,030 --> 00:50:18,790 energy rising, the neuroscience of leading with emotional power. It's 809 00:50:18,790 --> 00:50:20,170 on Amazon, 810 00:50:22,545 --> 00:50:26,305 Kindle. It's also available on Dead Tree. You get it at 811 00:50:26,305 --> 00:50:30,100 Barnes and Noble. All the formats, that I can tell. And 812 00:50:30,100 --> 00:50:33,860 I definitely would love to have you back in the show and kind of, with 813 00:50:33,860 --> 00:50:37,000 better, planning and kind of a better structure. 814 00:50:38,435 --> 00:50:42,115 And, definitely, maybe on a day where there's not an eclipse, although 815 00:50:42,115 --> 00:50:45,735 causation is not shot. Correlation is not causation. 816 00:50:45,940 --> 00:50:49,640 Yeah. And 817 00:50:49,780 --> 00:50:52,819 one final question. How did you get into this? Like, you mentioned kind of 818 00:50:54,020 --> 00:50:57,824 how how did you get into like, what what made you get into this 819 00:50:57,824 --> 00:51:01,415 and and what made you, like, see all this stuff in the ivory 820 00:51:01,415 --> 00:51:04,550 tower, but it's not out there helping people? Yeah. Like what? 821 00:51:04,770 --> 00:51:08,530 So I come from a a lineage of psychologists. So, 822 00:51:08,530 --> 00:51:11,910 like, our our family dynamics are very interesting. 823 00:51:12,075 --> 00:51:15,595 My father is a psychologist. So my father is a psychologist. My 824 00:51:15,595 --> 00:51:19,375 mother, worked with she was a teacher who worked with immigrants. 825 00:51:19,870 --> 00:51:23,630 My brother is significantly disabled. So I grew up, I 826 00:51:23,630 --> 00:51:27,444 think, in a very in a very 827 00:51:27,444 --> 00:51:31,285 complex family system, but also in a lot of ways, a a really beautiful family 828 00:51:31,285 --> 00:51:33,944 system where people sort of talked 829 00:51:35,130 --> 00:51:38,430 not always in the healthiest way, but people talked a lot about emotion. 830 00:51:39,690 --> 00:51:43,474 And this idea of service was always so, 831 00:51:44,415 --> 00:51:47,615 I'm Catholic. You know, my faith is is a big deal in but I've I've 832 00:51:47,615 --> 00:51:51,160 really I think, like, a lot of us, we've struggled with our faith. Like, what 833 00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:55,000 does it really mean to serve? And and so, I 834 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,540 started doing a lot of, international humanitarian 835 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,705 aid. So, actually, I first started in US politics. And the reason I went into 836 00:52:01,705 --> 00:52:05,405 politics was, I was interested 837 00:52:05,545 --> 00:52:09,080 in advocacy and changing systems and thinking about 838 00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:12,920 the well-being of the of the people. So I worked in US politics. I worked 839 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:16,140 at the White House. I worked on several US presidential campaigns. 840 00:52:17,934 --> 00:52:20,575 I don't know if this is gonna make sense, but I got tired of the 841 00:52:20,575 --> 00:52:24,335 politics of politics and became I'm I'm much more of a a 842 00:52:24,335 --> 00:52:28,120 substance and policy person. So I I went to Georgetown. 843 00:52:28,180 --> 00:52:31,480 I got my first master's and started doing a lot of international 844 00:52:31,780 --> 00:52:35,405 humanitarian aid, a lot of international development work. And what was 845 00:52:35,405 --> 00:52:37,905 very interesting to me was everywhere I went, 846 00:52:39,165 --> 00:52:42,930 I was seeing the same story. I was seeing whether 847 00:52:42,930 --> 00:52:46,450 I was in Chicago or Detroit or Buenos 848 00:52:46,450 --> 00:52:50,290 Aires or Abuja or Lagos or I did a lot of work 849 00:52:50,290 --> 00:52:53,685 in a small country called Lesotho or Kenya or South Africa. 850 00:52:54,545 --> 00:52:58,145 Hope always looked like hope. Rage always 851 00:52:58,145 --> 00:53:01,750 looked like rage. Trauma always looked 852 00:53:01,750 --> 00:53:05,290 like trauma. The situational sit circumstances 853 00:53:05,510 --> 00:53:09,325 are obviously, of course, different. But, again, this idea of this, 854 00:53:09,325 --> 00:53:13,165 like, universal longing of human emotion. And so 855 00:53:13,165 --> 00:53:16,510 I I was working in all these traumatized places. And even if you think about 856 00:53:16,670 --> 00:53:20,450 political work, like the right to health care, the right to 857 00:53:21,310 --> 00:53:24,724 to work with dignity, you know, with my brother, we've we've thought a lot about 858 00:53:24,724 --> 00:53:28,565 what does what does it mean to work with dignity. These 859 00:53:28,565 --> 00:53:31,224 are about fundamental 860 00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:35,100 existential issues of human dignity and power. 861 00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:39,640 And I said, I always kind of had a scientific mind, so I said I'm 862 00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:43,484 gonna get a PhD. No one was. People who are saying, like, we would love 863 00:53:43,625 --> 00:53:47,145 to figure out how to how better address trauma, but, like, we can't just throw 864 00:53:47,145 --> 00:53:50,660 money at things we don't understand. So, like, what's the science behind this? And I 865 00:53:50,740 --> 00:53:54,099 tend to be somebody who if there's a problem, I'm gonna fix it. So I 866 00:53:54,099 --> 00:53:57,859 decided to, much to my family's shock, go back to school and 867 00:53:57,859 --> 00:54:01,675 get a PhD, and I became a neuropsychologist. And so one 868 00:54:01,675 --> 00:54:05,515 of the things I think is kind of surprising to people is I think there's 869 00:54:05,515 --> 00:54:09,210 a profound social justice argument to be made based on 870 00:54:09,210 --> 00:54:12,890 our biology. I think when we repeatedly ask the human system to 871 00:54:12,890 --> 00:54:16,525 do things the human system cannot do, whether it's 872 00:54:16,585 --> 00:54:20,184 be this hyper productivity nonsense, whether it's 873 00:54:20,184 --> 00:54:23,704 isolation, whether it's, you know, working without dignity, whether 874 00:54:23,704 --> 00:54:26,960 it's the lack of relationships, you can't sustain it. 875 00:54:27,740 --> 00:54:31,388 You cannot sustain it. Yeah. It's almost like our truth 876 00:54:31,964 --> 00:54:35,685 flexibility. Told by our flesh. Right? That is a truth told by our 877 00:54:35,685 --> 00:54:39,525 flesh. No. That's a good point. No. That's a good point. It's 878 00:54:39,525 --> 00:54:42,950 almost like our flexibility comes to haunt us because we can 879 00:54:42,950 --> 00:54:46,790 temporarily act in ways that are against the 880 00:54:46,790 --> 00:54:50,455 flesh, so to speak. But eventually, you 881 00:54:50,455 --> 00:54:54,234 kinda have to snap back. Right? Like Yeah. But for what meaning? For what meaning? 882 00:54:54,615 --> 00:54:57,500 So what so, like, so you can work 70 hours a week for what? The 883 00:54:57,500 --> 00:55:00,460 only reason you're doing it is if you look at the underlying fear, and we're 884 00:55:00,460 --> 00:55:04,300 gonna run out of time here, the underlying emotional input impetus, because it's 885 00:55:04,300 --> 00:55:07,775 the emotional impetus that gives rise to behavior, is fear. 886 00:55:08,075 --> 00:55:11,915 The only reason people overwork like that is because, you know, the the 887 00:55:11,915 --> 00:55:15,720 brain has something called loss aversion. The brain's always looking for a 888 00:55:15,720 --> 00:55:19,160 sense of worthiness and and, like, I am 889 00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,760 sufficient. So, you know, people are trying to amass, amass, amass, 890 00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:26,455 amass, amass. Why? Because it never feels like enough. Why? 891 00:55:26,515 --> 00:55:30,195 Because they're afraid. So what once again, until you get into the underlying 892 00:55:30,195 --> 00:55:34,030 emotional energy, you cannot meaningfully change human behavior. And until you don't 893 00:55:34,190 --> 00:55:37,410 until you change human behavior, you cannot meaningfully change systems. 894 00:55:38,830 --> 00:55:42,675 Very well said. Very well said. And I will end on that note, 895 00:55:42,755 --> 00:55:46,275 and we'll have our AI, Bailey, finish the show. And there we have 896 00:55:46,275 --> 00:55:49,715 it. Another thought provoking episode of the data driven 897 00:55:49,715 --> 00:55:53,290 podcast wrapped up neatly with insights that surely tickled your 898 00:55:53,290 --> 00:55:56,890 neurons. A huge thank you to doctor Julia Deganji for 899 00:55:56,890 --> 00:56:00,730 joining us and sharing her expertise on the marvels of the human mind and 900 00:56:00,730 --> 00:56:04,325 its parallels with artificial intelligence. If today's 901 00:56:04,325 --> 00:56:07,765 discussion sparked your interest and you're hungry for more data driven 902 00:56:07,765 --> 00:56:11,580 dialogues, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite 903 00:56:11,580 --> 00:56:14,940 platform. That way, you won't miss out on any of our 904 00:56:14,940 --> 00:56:18,715 upcoming episodes where we continue to merge the worlds of technology, 905 00:56:19,095 --> 00:56:22,475 data science, and the human experience in the most enlightening 906 00:56:22,535 --> 00:56:26,280 ways. Join us next time for another deep dive into the 907 00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:29,960 data that shapes our world. Until then, keep those 908 00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:33,715 neural networks, both organic and artificial, active and 909 00:56:33,715 --> 00:56:35,336 engaged. Cheerio.