Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I almost blew my nuts off.

You robbed this dude, strip him naked, and end up shooting yourself?

Yeah.

Yeah, I still got the scar.

The way you say stuff just makes it sound like worse.

I'm just trying to paint the picture.

You ready, dude?

Word.

Let's do this.

All right, Brian, Brian and Brian.

We got two Brian's the show.

So before we get started, dude, we're gonna send you home with an amazing loaf of bread that the girls whip up.

You smell it when you walk?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's.

It's pretty incredible.

It's pretty rough living in this house sometimes, especially when I'm about to jump on a fast and I gotta deal with people's orders.

But, yeah, the girls.

We started the Sour Bee as a little homeschool project, and it's turning actual business for him now, so it's been pretty cool.

All right, bro, you have quite a story of pretty rough childhood upbringing.

You got shifted around some homes quite a bit as a kid.

You went in and out of the foster system.

You ended up getting some trouble after your mom gave you up for adoption.

You were living in a foster home.

Trouble, which I want to get into, led to you being kicked out of that home.

Kind of went back and forth from the east coast for a few years.

You got into some trouble.

One thing led to another, you kind of found yourself in and out.

You did some time in jail, got your wife, turned your life around.

Now you got a lot of really good things going for you.

You actually came from a recommendation from one of our guests.

Yeah.

And Matthew Sidwell, which was an incredible episode, and he hit me up, was like, man, you got to get this guy.

Guy.

He's got quite the story.

And you're new to Idaho, and if anybody's listening, you are one of the largest human beings that I have run into in a long time.

Like, I consider myself a pretty decent sized guy.

6, 3, 250.

You absolutely dwarf me.

So you fill my little chair up.

I feel like we got to get.

Yeah, I can definitely feel my cheeks pushing against the sides here.

I've never looked at my chair before and been like, holy, it looks like a toddler.

Sit like a little toddler chair.

You're at the.

You know at Thanksgiving when you get stuck at the little.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You don't sit down fast enough.

You got down at the little.

Okay.

Table.

You are a massive human being.

Yeah.

All right, dude, let's.

Let's jump into this.

We got some Stuff to cover because you, you got quite the life.

So who, who, who are you?

Where are you from?

Well, my name is Brian Parsons, born and raised in Tacoma.

Lived a lot of my life in like Puyallup area.

You know, I'm.

Used to love playing darts, you know, the bar scene, you know, drug scene, tons of cocaine, you know, things like that.

And that was kind of my identity for, for a long time.

But, you know, kind of long story short, you know, ended up in the hospital back in July due to my drug use and alcohol use.

You know, my, my triglycerides were 5,700, which less than 100 is normal.

So they were like, you should not be living right now.

Holy cow.

So they had to take my blood to like a special hospital to get it spun because they didn't, they couldn't spin it fast enough to separate it.

And so that was like a, a pivotal moment, you know, then, you know, dealing with that hospital situation and coming close to death.

You know, that's like, that's the third time that I've almost died, you know, and it was pretty serious one for sure, like.

But you know, yeah, I got back and forth to the east coast, west coast.

I wasn't really in the foster system.

It was just my mom gave me up.

We went to go visit my brother in, in Washington and she ended up just telling my stepdad that, you know, hey, if you can't take care of him, then send him off, you know, just cuz she was hooked on dope, you know, I never really understood what she was on.

I never asked.

I just knew what happened because she was on it.

What was that like growing up with a mom that was addicted?

Well, do you know what her drug of choice was?

Well, in the beginning, I didn't.

I still to this day don't know what she chose over us.

Because that's what I say is she chose something over us.

So I've never really asked her about that.

But growing up as, you know, as a kid, up until second grade, I had no idea what was going on.

You know, I just knew that, you know, I didn't know who my dad was.

And you know, I was the only brother and sister that, you know, brother out of the whole, you know, two brothers and one sister that didn't know their dad, you know.

And so like, I just knew that I was just trying to do anything I could to, you know, make, make my mom happy because she was all of that, all that I had, you know, and I, I didn't know there was any drugs or anything until we ended up moving to the East Coast.

She essentially, she didn't kidnap all of us, but she did kidnap, per se, my, my younger brother because my stepdad didn't know that he was leaving.

And so when, when she kidnapped him and we drove all the way to Virginia, to Richmond, Virginia, and she, my little brother was there for like two weeks, something like that, and my stepdad got him out, you know, and I'm like, oh, must be nice.

You know, you get rescued, you know, when we're over here.

You not want to be there?

Oh, no, no, not at all.

Because I've always been extremely perceptive and have high discernment, you know, as a, as a little kid all the way up until now.

And so like when we were on that mission, that, that driving mission and we had to stop at hotels, my, My mom was having sex with her best friend's husband because her best friend's husband was sent to Washington to come drive us back.

And so then, you know, like, I'm, I'm in the bed next door, you know, it's a two queen situation, and she's having sex with, with dude.

And I'm like, this is not going to go over well, you know, and I'm at this, at this point, I'm six and I'm fully aware, like, you know, I know what's going on.

I know what sex is.

I know, you know, because I got taken advantage of myself, you know, at what age?

I think I was about four or five by another, you know, female.

I don't want to expose too many people's information with it, but yeah, it was a, a girl that was the same, same age as me and she was doing what she saw her mom do.

And, you know, I was doing what I saw my mom do.

And we thought it like, you know, thought it was normal, you know, but turns out it's not normal.

You know what I found out?

And so when we get all the way over to, to Virginia, like, I hear all this arguing and I'm like, like she's talking about, oh, you slept with him.

You slept with him?

And I'm like, yep, she sure did.

So that we stayed there for about two weeks and then we ended up getting kicked out.

Her friend kicked us out and we moved.

Yeah, for sure.

And we moved.

So you're this dude.

Your mom's best friend goes all.

Your mom's best friend's husband goes all the way to the west coast to grab you guys to help drive you Cross country.

And he's hooking up with your mom as you're driving across country and you're going to be living with these people.

Yep.

Damn, that's grimy.

Yeah.

Trifling.

Yeah, it's, it's terrible.

Okay.

You know, and so then we get kicked out and then move right across the street.

Like literally you.

Not just across the street, like her house, our new house.

And, and it was a drug house.

And that's when I finally understood that there was many layers to this onion that I didn't really understand in the beginning.

And it got to the point where my mom's, you know, end up.

She's having sex in the bed, excuse me, with me in the bed next to her.

And then the next morning I'm having a normal conversation with her as a six year old child talking to my mom about, hey, like, why was Tony in the bed with you?

And she's like, it wasn't Tony.

Mind your business.

And I'm like, well, I'm in the same bed, you know, it's kind of hard to mind my business, like.

And so it's like had normal sexual conversations, normal, you know, drug conversations at that age, you know, with, with my mom, you know, who was, I think she was probably 25 at the time, something like that.

Maybe because I was six.

She, I mean, when she's 19.

Yeah, probably about 25, 26.

And it was, it that, that was, you know, I'm definitely jumping over a, a bunch of stuff.

But that, that time in my life, it was, it was very, it was very hard for me to grasp what was going on and then also why.

And for sure I was extremely gifted as a child.

You know, I'm still the smartest person I know now, but you know, I, I was extremely gifted.

So while like we were in Virginia, I was in second grade and I had to go to a sixth grade class because that's the highest class they had in the school because I was too advanced for the second grade class.

And so I got made fun of, I got bullied and it's like I'm fresh out of a new state.

I'm getting beat by these crackheads at my house.

My mom don't give a about me.

And now I'm going to school and I'm getting made fun of because I'm smart.

So it's like, you know, so I got accused of all this stuff.

And so it second grade was like when I started figuring out life and like, you know, started blaming myself for, you know, maybe My dad's not around because of something I did, you know, and it's.

And you never knew your father, correct?

Yeah, no, I found out who he was 10 years after he died.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

And the way that I found out is.

Is wild.

I want to get into that.

Definitely.

Let's stay.

Let's keep on the childhood because I. Yeah, so.

So you're this young, gifted kid.

You're living in a crack house.

How many people are living in your home?

You know, as wild as I can see them all in my head right now.

One, two, three, four.

There was five people.

Five adults in your house?

Yeah, and one.

And one of the people is the one that called me Brain because she couldn't spell and she thought my name was B R A I N, when it really is B R Y O N. So she called me Brain.

She's like, you so smart, Brain.

I'm like, oh, wow.

This is.

Was that pretty rough having all those people on drugs in a home where they were.

Did you find a lot of abuse?

Was there.

Is that a regular thing or was it just here and there?

Abuse was a regular thing.

You know, I was a troubled kid in a terrible environment, so I didn't make a lot of great decisions.

But with that being said, I was still.

I still had hands put on me, you know, by a lot of people in the house because it was like the whole it takes a village, you know, to beat your kid, you know, kind of a mentality.

And that's kind of what it, what it turned into, you know, And I realized, like, oh, wow, you know, at night time, you know, you're all happy, you know, but then when it comes morning time, you're not, you're not happy.

And that's when I get in trouble.

So let me make sure that I'm not in the house in the morning, you know, and that was tough.

Like drinking powdered milk, having no money, you know, waking myself up every morning at 7 o' clock to get my sister situated and ready and safe for the day.

And then I had to walk to school because she wasn't in school yet.

She was only five, you know, and having to deal with that back and forth, you know, in school the whole time, dealing with the.

In school, having to think about, like, what's going on with my sister back there, Like, I gotta get.

You know, so it was, you know.

You had a lot on your plate as a young kid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You grew up really quick.

Yeah, yeah.

Is it just you and your sister?

You the only Kids in the.

In the home.

Yep.

At that time.

But, you know, we had my older brother who lived in Olympia at the time, and then my younger brother, he actually the one who got taken back to Tacoma.

Okay.

You know, and so that was all.

All, you know, good there.

So at the time, it was just us two kids living in an adult world, you know, having adult conversations.

You know, like, I'm happy about it, and I'm not happy about it because I don't feel like I should have been put through that for sure.

But I'm also happy about it.

It's like, I feel like much my childhood was robbed, you know, I got it taken from me.

But at the end of it, the most important thing is like we were speaking about earlier, it's like, what can I use in this circumstance to help people?

You know, and it's like, God gives the biggest test to the people with the biggest shoulders, you know, and as you said, I'm a large human being, you know, and so I feel like there's a lot of things that God put on my shoulders because a lot of people couldn't handle it.

That doesn't make it easier for me, and that doesn't justify it in my own mind, but it does give me a sense of calm when I sit back and think, like, if.

If you could help one person throughout all of this, you know, then it's worth it.

And so I do it again.

You know, I would.

I would go through this again if I could, you know, if I could help somebody, like my son or I could help somebody, you know, through.

Through a struggle that they're going through.

You know, it doesn't make it fun, but, yeah, it helps.

That's one of the things that helps me get past it.

What was one of the hardest points of growing up in a crack house as a kid?

Not ever wanting to be home, only come home to get a flashlight, you know, kind of a thing.

And, like, I just knew that I just couldn't be home because I knew that, you know, you're gonna get smacked, you're gonna get, you know, roughed up or, you know, so just took my little sister, and we would just always be out trekking, you know, Richmond, Virginia, just, you know, making friends everywhere.

And that was.

That was part of the issue was that I. I went to so many schools up until second grade.

I think going to that school in Virginia was like, my third elementary school.

You know, I went to, you know, junior high was a different school.

Then I went to four different high schools.

And so my whole mindset the whole time has been make as many friends you can as fast as possible, because you don't know when this shit's going to end, you know, because you're going to get snatched up and need to go somewhere, and now you got to start all over.

And so what that created was me to take my gifts and be like, how can I reach people fast?

Okay, well, I reach people fast through jokes and through making people laugh and feel comfortable, you know, whether it be the kid in the wheelchair or the dude on the football team, that's been my way to go.

And that's what I've lived by, you know, and it's.

I still see that happening to this day.

That.

That's still a mindset that I have.

It's like, how can I get in there and.

And make these people like me as fast as possible?

Because who knows when I'm going to be gone?

You know, it's a great skill, coping skill to develop is to be able to get in and to.

To find a way into groups and things like that.

And you.

I mean, I'm sure it was just a natural skill that you had to develop.

You didn't even know you were doing just.

Just because of this, the lifestyle that you're living.

I mean, that's.

That's almost like a primal, like, survival skill as a kid.

I mean, just to try to find anybody that would accept you.

And I.

And I don't know how I got through it.

You know, while I was going through it, I had no clue, like, what's given me these abilities, what's given me these, you know, feelings in my gut that tell me, hey, get your sister out of here, or, hey, do this.

Like, what's get.

You know, And.

And I came to the conclusion early on because I was saved.

I went to church early, like five, six years old, right before we moved.

Like, I was.

I was in a church environment and got saved because I was like, there's.

There's.

There's something out there because I'm not smart enough to do this all myself.

And so that's kind of when I started realizing, you know, that, hey, there's something out there that's helping you get through this, whether you see it or not.

You know, it doesn't make it easier.

And I'm gonna have a ton of questions for this dude, sure, whenever it comes time.

But until then, let me use the gifts that he's given me to survive, you know, and that's.

That's all I Did was survive.

How long were you in this crack house for?

Before.

Before things changed.

Just second grade, so.

Okay.

Because did the whole school year and summer came and I.

Excuse me.

I still remember this day like, you know, like it was yesterday because I can still see it in my eyes.

I was sitting in back of a maroon, like, 90 something Mustang.

And my mom's like, hey, you.

You guys are going to go visit your little brother for a couple weeks.

And we were like, cool.

Okay, this is gonna be cool.

So I still remember sitting in the back of that Mustang.

My mom's standing in the middle of the street and she's waving bye to me and I'm like, bye.

You know, I'll.

I'll see you soon.

Because even throughout all of this pain and suffering and things that I've seen that I shouldn't have seen, I still wanted to be with my mom.

You know, like, it.

It was just something in me.

And, you know, when we get there, back to Washington, my stepdad was like, you.

You guys have a bunch of clothes.

Like, you have too much clothes for how long you're staying, so what's going on?

And I was like, bro, I have no idea.

Like, I'm literally seven, you know, I have no idea.

So your stepdad had no idea?

No.

So he calls her and says, you know, like, hey, what's going on?

And that's when you know, basically, in a nutshell, because I didn't hear the conversation, was, you can either take care of them or let somebody else take care of them, but I can't.

Your mom just gave you up?

Yeah, yeah, I was.

I was actually eight.

Yeah.

So actually, I think I was there for a lot longer than a year.

I think it might have been a year and a half because I was like six.

So.

Yeah.

Your sister came with you or.

No, she came with me, but she ended up going right to her dad's house to visit her family.

Okay.

You know, and so, you know, so it was a surprise to my.

My little brother.

He was excited to see us and whatnot.

But the whole time I knew who this lady was because, you know, my mom had kids with four married men.

All men that she had kids with were married.

And so all guys she had kids with were married.

And so that was kind of.

I knew about, you know, this lady and her name was Connie and we weren't allowed to say her name.

So just for a little backstory, my stepdad got married in 1977.

My little brother was born in 1987.

So he had been married for a decade now.

My stepmother couldn't have kids.

And so she looked.

In my opinion, she looked past the infidelity and accepted my little brother as her son.

Okay.

Because she couldn't have kids.

Okay.

And so.

And so he was always the favorite.

He's always the one getting rescued, saved, you know, all the way into his drug years, you know.

You know, mom taking him somewhere at three in the morning just because he needs to go do something.

It's like, mom, he's doing drugs.

She's like, no, he's not.

You know, like, that's how it was.

You know.

Meanwhile, I'm still getting beat, you know, in this house.

But that.

That.

The.

The next September was.

Which was my birthday, my mom sent me a card.

It had the Seven Dwarves on it.

And it said, I'm a little short this year, but I still love you, in short.

And then that was the last time I heard from my mom, you know, until I was 15.

So, like, eight, nine years after that, so I had to go.

No contact, nothing?

No.

Do you ever try to reach out?

I mean, how do you.

I guess.

Yeah, there was, you know, this was back in 94, you know, so it's like CDs haven't even came out yet.

Yeah.

It's not like you're searching on Facebook or being able to.

There was nothing I could do, you know, other than just grin and bear it.

So now you're.

You're now living with your stepdad that is married to his wife, and you just get dropped off in the middle of all this.

So I'm sure your stepdad's not very happy.

Yeah.

Or your stepmom, in a way, to now, all of a sudden, one day, they just absorbed you and your sister for a short time.

Yeah.

So your sister ends up leaving.

You stay there.

My sister.

We went separate ways when we first got to Washington, and then a couple weeks later when.

When my stepdad understood the gravity of the situation, we brought Nikki, you know, my sister, over.

And then.

Then.

So then we both kind of moved in.

Okay.

You know.

How was that?

Well, it was.

It was.

It felt odd.

It felt good because, you know, it's like this.

This is all I know.

These are my.

This.

My brother and sister, you know, still hadn't talked to my older brother very much.

Like, barely ever talked to him.

And so it was like.

I was like, I know that this circumstance isn't the best, but it's 100 times better than what we came through or came from.

So let's you know, like, let's just embrace it.

You know, let's just do the same thing.

But having all of those things, you know, baggage that I brought with me just created nothing but strife in the home, because although my stepmom loved, you know, my younger brother, me and my sister emulated something, you know, or represented something that she just couldn't stand.

And so, you know, we found journals, you know, of her talking about how she hates us as kids and, you know, wish we never came and all that stuff, you know.

Meanwhile, in the beginning, you know, we were forced to call her mom, and if we didn't want to call her mom, we call her Connie.

Then we had to go to bed early, you know, sit at the table.

So it was almost like a.

A mental abuse situation where, like, we were forced.

And so, you know, what is it a kid in my situation do?

Transform.

You just mold yourself into whatever you need to.

To survive.

Because that's what I do is I survive, you know?

So it was.

It was.

It was difficult because I brought those same baggage with me, like I said, and I.

And so I was in trouble in school all the time.

I was advanced in school, always in trouble, you know, just because this is what I'm used to.

You didn't have any structure or what?

So your dad, your stepdad, stepmom's house, are they clean, normal living family, or they in the drugs and everything?

Toos.

Are you.

Nope.

Clean.

Yeah.

You went from one extreme environment, living in a crack house, then your mom just ships you off to your stepdad's house, which is the polar opposite.

This is, I guess, like a solid family.

I'm using air quotes on that, compared to the life you were previously living.

So that was a pretty easy, like, transformation from one house to the other, or it was.

It was easy in the fact that I didn't have to put up as much as of.

Of a guard.

You know, I was still getting emotionally abused, physically abused there, because, you know, my stepmom never liked us.

And, you know, she was, like, hitting me with odds and odd things, you know, like hold your hands out, whooping you with electrical cord.

You know, the whole go grab a switch off the tree thing, and you grab a thin one because you think it's not gonna hurt.

Yeah.

And you get your ass whipped.

So, you know, it was still.

It was still a struggle, but it was.

It was better than what I knew.

So now you're living in a home with a woman that can't stand you because she knows the history of you, her husband, your mother, who's still cheating.

On her, by the way, you know.

Your stepdad was still cheating on your stepmom.

Yeah.

With other women.

Yeah.

Okay.

One of them ended up committing suicide, you know, because she found out that she was getting cheated on with another.

So it was a whole.

Whole big thing.

And my love trying.

Yeah.

My stepdad was a firefighter, and he was absolutely loved by the entire community, everybody.

He was on the news multiple times in Tacoma, and just, like, he was absolutely loved.

And that's that perception.

When I set up his funeral, that's what made things so hard for me, was knowing how it truly was at home and knowing how he really was, but then everybody else saying what they thought of him, you know, and I got to sit here and smile and cry through this funeral, you know, that I set up just to just.

Just to what?

You know, again, survival, pretending.

Just a facade that you.

That's pretty rough.

So, you know, the true man, and everybody's glorifying him and.

And putting him on this pedestal, and you're sitting there having to just swallow it.

Yeah.

Because all the years that you had to grow up dealing with that, and.

That was after I had to bury my stepmom, you know.

Damn.

Yeah.

Oh, it's.

Yeah, it's.

Buckle in.

You know, we got a couple things to.

That might, you know, blow your socks off here.

So.

Okay, so childhood's going on with them.

You're getting all settled in.

You're finding the groove.

You know, your stepmom hates you being in the house.

You and your little sister, you're learning to cope with it.

Where does life go from.

From there.

So at that.

At that point, I was able to just be a kid.

You know, throughout all of the mental and physical abuse, I was able to just be a kid.

Hide and go seek, playing with kids, you know, meeting neighbor kids, getting in fights behind between the portables, like, just.

I was able to, you know, do normal stuff.

I took all of the knowledge with me from things that I saw, so I was able to manipulate, you know, things, because a lot of people were sheltered, you know, where I was at.

Streets.

You got some street cred by this point.

Yeah, exactly.

For sure.

For sure.

So I. I use it to the best of my ability.

I still have always been a jokester, and, you know, I'm gonna do that until I die, you know, for sure.

But, you know, I had a decent upbringing, you know, aside from the abuse, like a.

Pretty.

Pretty normal.

From 8 to 14.

Okay.

It was pretty normal.

So if 14, what turned not normal?

Well, I started getting involved with some seniors, and I was a sophomore.

Got involved with some.

Some.

Some older guys just because, like, I always wanted to be accepted.

And so they.

They were making counterfeit money at the time, you know, back.

We're talking about 1998.

Making counterfeit money.

Just dollar bills, you know, printing, you know, copy machine, gluing two.

Two sides of the bill together, throwing them in the dryer with some pants and stuff, rough up the dollars and then take them to the student store and spend the money, you know, at the store.

So, like, I was like, this is.

This is what's up.

I can get the Skittles, the Coke, everything that I want.

Coca Cola at that time, you know, I can get everything I want with this fake money.

Like, I was like, this fits right into my lifestyle that I'm used to, you know, that east coast living, you know, that I had to survive in.

You started making counterfeit money at 14?

Yeah, they were only dollar bills, but, yeah, they add up.

For sure.

They do.

How long did that go on for it?

I want to say three months.

Okay.

I was in high school because that.

At that point.

So I had just started talking to my brother, my older brother, because he.

He actually moved from Olympia to the East Coast.

He lived in Maryland and D.C. with my mom.

And so he had just came back.

And so my.

My stepparents knew that they knew about our relationship, and they knew.

They knew that I knew where, you know, my mom was.

And so when this.

This whole fake money thing happened, I mean, the Secret Service came to the school or whoever, the government people, FBI or somebody came to the school because the guys that I was doing it with were doing it everywhere, like, locally.

It wasn't just a student store for me.

It was like gas stations and all this stuff.

And it was a pretty.

In the town that we were in, that was a pretty big deal.

So they had some big dogs come and.

And handle it.

And so I got expelled from.

So they ratted you out?

Oh, I mean, I was just like, I. I didn't.

I didn't care.

It's like, yeah, this is what I was doing.

Like, so what.

What are you gonna do?

You gonna hit me?

Like, wow, you know, I've never been hit before.

You know, Like, I just.

It's just no fear of.

Of consequences.

It's like, you know, it.

This is my life.

Like, so what's.

There's nothing you can do to me that I haven't seen before.

So have at it.

So they ended up kicking me out, and I ended up taking a plane back to Merlin.

Lived in Silver.

Parents.

Your step parents kicked you out.

Yep.

So you get expelled from school for counterfeit money.

Your step parents, mom and dad both kick you out of their house, and you have to go back to live with your mom.

Yep.

Is she still living in a crack house?

Not a crack house, but still had a terrible picking men.

Okay.

You know the guy that.

When I moved in there, like, my mom had us when.

Had me when she was 19.

I looked a lot older, and she looked a lot younger than our actual ages were.

So when I got there, like, my brother's.

My brother's white.

You know, his dad's white.

My mom's white.

He was white.

So the guy was like, okay, my mom's boyfriend.

Okay, I can kind of believe that that's your kid.

But then I show up, and it's like, oh, this is my son too.

You know, they.

They don't look alike, but it's so he.

He thought me and my mom were having sex.

Like, her boyfriend thought that we were.

Like, it was a plot that she's just flying people in, calling them their kids, and having sex with them.

Like, that's.

So.

It was like.

Immediately I was like, this is.

This is.

This is terrible.

Like, that's an awkward situation.

Yeah.

I haven't seen my mom in a decade, and now I'm getting accused of having sex with my mom.

I got all this history of sexual stuff that I've had to deal with, and now I'm getting accused of some that, like, I, Like, I had nothing to do with.

Like.

And so that.

That made it very difficult.

But what made it a little bit easier is that the dude was black.

I never knew the black side of my family, so I was able to, like, start hanging out with family, you know, that kind of shared my same melanin, and it felt good.

So it was like, you start putting things aside when you're like, okay, this is the bad, but this is the good.

Which one's better or which one's worse?

And that's kind of just what made it easier to deal with.

And he got.

He got physical with her.

But before that, she told me, she said, if you.

If you go to school and you get decent grades, you can smoke and drink.

You can do whatever you want.

And I was like, I'm 15.

That's your mom?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, I'm 15.

She's like, do you want to smoke?

I'M like, hell yeah, I want to.

Smoke cigarettes or weed.

Weed.

Okay.

Yeah, weed.

So the first time I ever smoked weed or ever drank was with my mom at 15.

Then all the past.

So.

So the stuff just outside looking in now I'm like, that was terrible.

Like, you know, I was in, I was in advanced class.

I was done with math for high school in seventh grade, so I was already done with all my math.

Took jigging, trigonometry, calculus, pre calculated everything.

I took all that stuff in junior high, you know.

So when I got to D.C. or I was actually at Montgomery Blair High School in Silver Spring, Maryland and I was in this stuff called magnet.

And I was like, I have no clue what this is, but apparently I tested.

So I'm 15, I get in class and there's a bunch of 10 year old Asian kids in there.

And I'm like, I don't think I'm in the right spot.

You know, Turns out they're all geniuses.

And then, you know, so then we fall right back into that same thing of I want to kick it with these fools on the street, you know what I'm saying?

So I'm getting made fun of for being in these magnet classes.

I got four of them, you know, so I just kept on.

So you're trying to keep a street cred image.

Yeah, but in the, on the other hand, you're just genius.

Now you're in this Asian.

But I mean, that's that.

Okay, I'll take it.

Okay.

You're accelerated in school.

Yeah, yeah.

If you're in a single class with a bunch of Asian kids, you're borderline genius.

Will just.

Yeah, I've gotten dumber for sure.

But we all have.

And so now you're probably in this weird position where you want to roll with your friends on the streets, but they're making fun of you for rolling with the Asian kids and these excel classes.

So did you drop out or did you keep going to them?

I mean, how.

Flunked out on purpose, of course.

I just said I'm not doing it.

The image and just have friends.

Yeah, made some friends.

You know, I wanted to be cool with the skaters and I wanted to be cool with the gangsters.

Like just because I liked everybody, everybody had something to offer me, you know, and so I was that guy that would be kicking it with the, you know, you know, the, the special ed kids and making friends there and making like, making friends everywhere.

And so it's, it's like.

But the, but the criminal side kind of Won out.

Because, you know, those are the people that.

It's like, I'm out on the corner and down, you know, D.C. drinking on the corner with these guys, you know, and it's like, now.

Now I can see where this gang stuff really, really took root, because it's like, I have no father.

Father I do know was abusive and mentally, you know, he was cheating on his wife and all that stuff.

So I don't really have any good examples, you know, and these dudes, if I say, hey, I'm having a problem, they're right there.

They jump on it.

They.

They protect me and help me, you know, and that was kind of what made that side of my life went out, you know, where it's like, you know what?

Screw all y' all skaters and nerds and special ed kids.

I'm kicking it with the gangsters that got my back.

You know, when we're out here in the streets doing stuff, you know, you're the.

You were the prime example for a kid that could either gone.

Excelled and.

Yeah, valid Victorian.

Or you got pulled in the gang life because you didn't have that father figure in your life, and that's where you got sucked into that.

It's just more appealing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that.

So we ended up.

I ended up going to that high school.

We ended up moving, you know, because she still was making a lot of bad financial decisions, so we would only be able to live in a certain area for a year.

And then we moved.

So then I went to, you know, I f. I went to two high schools sophomore year.

Then I went to another high school in my junior year.

That's where I started rapping and doing all this stuff, you know, like.

And, like, truly feeling good about where I was at.

And I.

And I enjoyed it.

I still actually talk to some of them people to this day on Instagram from.

From my old high school day there.

And so things were still the same way.

Drinking, smoking, doing whatever.

You know, at this point, I was actually in this relationship behind my mom's back with her best friend, you know, in these.

In these apartments.

Like, her friend was, like, 25 or 26, something like that, you know, and her friend, like, started coming on to me, and so I was like, oh, this is.

This is what I know.

This is what I'm used to doing, you know.

So that kind of blossomed into a relationship, you know, with her friend behind her back.

And how old are you?

16 at this point.

So you're 16 years old and your mom's best Friend.

Yeah, it's coming on to you.

So now you're hooking up with your mom's best friend behind her back.

Yeah.

Damn, that's wild.

Yeah, it's crazy how long that go on for?

Well, it was only a year because the whole year thing, you know, we had to move again, so.

So you're every.

Almost every single year you're pro.

You're starting a whole new chapter almost every year of your life.

Yep.

Damn, dude, that is wild.

Yeah, we move.

So the la.

The final.

I went to Dunbar High School in.

In Northwest D.C. that was the first time that I ever experienced, you know, this is 2001, going through metal detectors to get into school because it was pretty dangerous, you know, But I like dangerous, you know, so, like, that's what I was kicking with.

With the dangerous kids.

And at this point, she was in another relationship with another guy.

This, this, this, this dude actually ended up being the one and only time she's ever been married.

She married this dude.

He was kicking her ass.

He was a gang member.

Very, very bad.

Very bad example of a man.

And so I don't think my mom wanted me to be around that.

Excuse me.

So renting out rooms was a big thing in D.C. where I lived.

I live 312 Seaton block, Northeast D.C. and you could rent out a room.

So you have a town, you know, the whole house.

The whole.

The whole block is.

Is town houses.

Yeah.

And so.

And they're all connected.

And most of the time somebody owned all of them.

And then he would rent out rooms.

And so there was like five rooms in this place that I was at.

And so my mom essentially rented me a room she was living with.

Dude, I had my own space.

So I'm 17 years old, gone through all this stuff now.

I'm like, I've been through enough stuff to make me an adult, and now I am.

Now I'm living on my own, you know, like boiling hot dogs.

That's what I was eating.

You know, I was out there fending for myself, helping, you know, people on the block, like, run dope, you know, like, I sat out on the porch, you know, on the stoop, just waiting for.

For people to, you know, because that wasn't somewhere that I wanted to just go out and start making friends.

And so they.

I got approached and then I started helping this guy named bj.

I think he's dead anyway, so no matter, but helping him sell butter, which is yellow crack.

And so I was serving people in my room, in my house, you know, Serving them crack.

And I was just out, you know, and then, yeah, one time I went out there to go see him and he fell asleep behind the wheel and the cops, you know, locked him up, you know, because he had a bunch of drugs on him.

So, like, I was fending for myself, you know, just selling crack.

I was like, I've never done this before in my life, but now I'm doing it to get by, you know, and I'm liking it.

It's like, are you using crack or.

No.

Selling it?

No.

Just selling it.

Yeah.

I never.

I never mess with it at all.

There was the people that I was hanging with, they said, look, doing all this, you know, slanging is fine, but if you start messing with it, then we can't mess with you.

And so that kind of put that barrier up.

Like if you, you know, if you smoke PCP with the old folks up the hill, you're going to be put at a certain point, you know, so it's like.

So you just never mess with it, you know, Just weed and alcohol.

That was it.

Oh, yeah.

So you get pulled in the cell and you said, yellow?

Yeah, Butters.

This is what we call it because it looked like a little stick of butter and you'd slice it off, but it was just.

It was just cracked.

No.

And these are the dudes that you're just rolling with now?

Yeah.

This is your mom's new husband, or.

They weren't even involved because I was.

I was living in the house by myself.

She rented that room out she owes.

She lived down the same house.

No.

So your mom rents you.

Okay, I'm tracking now.

This is.

You're all over the what?

I mean, not in a storytelling way, but just your life.

Yeah.

You're in all these different homes, so you're.

Okay, so I'm tracking out.

So your mom just rents you a separate room in a whole different house now.

Everybody who's living in that house with you.

Well, two crackheads for sure, because I was selling them crack.

But the other three people, you know, they just.

Just normal people.

And every time they leave, you know, that's when I learned the credit card trick to open up a door, you know, and so I'd break in their rooms when they left, you know, I wouldn't go to school.

I just break in their rooms and then lift up mattresses and see, you know, find change, you know, and then I go to the little teriyaki spot and get me a little burger with some French fries and some fry sauce, you know, walk through the alley.

So it was like.

It was like a whole.

Like, it was like a whole thing, you know, it was.

It was just a way of life for me, and I was.

I just fit right into it.

Damn.

How long did that go on for.

In D.C. specifically?

That lasted until, I think, January.

So it.

I was only in.

In school for, like, three months, and then I was like.

I had my back against the wall, and I just knew that I was in a bad spot.

And I was like, I need to go home.

Like, I need to go home.

Back to the west coast home.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

So I was like.

I was always in contact with my stepdad and stepmom and like, firefighter.

Yep.

I was like, you know, like, I'm changed.

I'm changed, you know?

No, I'm not.

I'm changed.

Like, let me come back, you know, because, like, I miss.

I missed that way of life because I. I just knew where I was going.

After watching the people, few people get shot and killed, I was like, that's not for me.

Like, I don't want that at all.

And so I was like, I had to go.

So I took a train.

Amtrak back all the way from.

How is that.

How long was.

Did that take?

Three days.

Riding a train?

Yeah.

Yep.

In a single seat, you know, and it's like you've survived everywhere except for sitting your butt on a train and thinking about stuff.

And so that was kind of a tough, tough deal.

But I knew that in the end, like, where I was going and why I was going was just because I was at my wits end with where I was at, you know, and then I ended up going back to the high school that I got expelled from.

When I went back, you never guess what I started making again, except on my own.

Fake.

Fake money.

Yeah.

So you were right back in the counterfeit.

Yeah.

Were you making dollars or did it go bigger?

Hundreds?

And.

And what I was doing is I was making 10, 20,000 because I was good at it.

Like, really good at it.

And I was making 10, $20,000.

And then I'd go down south to, like, Olympia and find some dope boys that were doing whatever they were doing.

They knew what it was, and so they would use it and mix it in so that when they're picking up something that they could put in, you know, like five grand in.

In counterfeit, and then, you know, ten grand and whatever, now they can pick up a bird or whatever they're trying to grab at a time.

So you're making counterfeit money for Drug dealers that are cutting their stacks with your counterfeit money.

Yeah, we say it like that.

It's.

Yeah, yeah, that's precisely what it is.

Were you using the counterfeit money?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Like, I would take like, a group of like four or five of my homeboys, and we're like, okay, we're gonna go to Tacoma mall, and all we're gonna do is take these hundreds or take these 50s and.

And walk around and ask people for change.

Like, go to kiosks like, hey, you got change for whatever?

And then, you know, give them a fake hunter.

Now we get 250s, and now we got real money.

Now we've laundered it appropriately, you know, now we can, you know, and that's kind of just what.

That's what it turned into.

Like, I got really good at making the money.

How.

Okay, how were you making it?

You're not just printing it?

I mean, there's a feel and.

Yeah, so you have to get a certain type of paper, you know, because I did research and.

And money's not made with paper.

It's made with fabric, you know, and that's why they market with those fabric pens.

But I found a way around it, because the only thing that those pens mark black on is paper, you know, so if it's black, so.

So then obviously you need to put some sort of.

Some sort of barrier around that bill so that when they mark it, it comes off as that yellow or orange or whatever color.

And so I. I used my brain, and I was like, you know what?

I know when people are doing stencils like, like.

Like pencil drawings to get it to stop smearing, they spray this acrylic on it, and that puts a cover, you know, a barrier over that drawing so that it won't smear.

And I'm like, I wonder if I put that barrier on this money after I wash it, you know, after you put in a dryer and with jeans and maybe a brick and you get it all nice and, you know, worked in, then spray it.

And then, you know, it's.

It.

It didn't work all the time, but it.

It always passed the pen test, you know, which was the.

At that time was the.

The biggest.

Biggest test was the pen test.

They didn't have the little neon little things and, you know, at that point, not fake.

The hidden faces and all that.

Oh, no, this is just old school bills.

No.

Did you ever have anybody check it and.

And it come up counterfeit in front of you?

Really?

Yeah.

No, it worked.

It Worked really well.

It was just.

You would have to be really, you'd really have to know money to, to know that it, at that time, you know, the hundred dollar bills, the big Ben Franklin, you know, and stuff.

Yeah, it was even, it was even to the point where the copy machine lit up the bills so like the strip was faint.

And so then when people looked at it, they could still see a strip even though there was no strip in there.

It just was like the image of a strip, you know, because it's a copied bill.

You know, I'd put like a thousand dollars and then print them all off and I turn the paper over a certain way, flip all the bills over and put it in the right way so that as it printed off, it would print the bills on one piece of paper, both sides so it wasn't thick like my, you know, dollar bills at the ASB store, you know, type days.

Oh, how long did that last?

I didn't, I didn't ever get caught with that.

Really?

Yeah, I never got caught with that.

That, that was probably a, a six month deal because it was like me and if in a few homeboys.

And at that time when I moved back, I used my skills that I've acquired and I was able to take advantage of the same house that was abusing me.

So I moved in my homeboys, you know, because I knew that my stepdad wasn't around because he was out off with whomever, you know.

And like as a family, me and the brother and sister, we were going to hang out with him and his, you know, side piece, you know.

So it's like, so it's like I had all the cards in my favor so I could take advantage.

So I just moved my homies in the house and you know, we started a little stupid.

A little thing called tnt.

Top notch thugs back on like, you know, and just started, you know, I was like, I want this gang life again, you know.

And it ended up just being us with guns robbing people, you know, that's all it turned out to be.

Started robbing people.

Yeah, yeah, yep.

Do you remember the first person you robbed?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

Like this is, this is a wild story too because this is when I got shot.

So shot.

Yeah, but hold on a second.

It's not incredible when you hear how everything happened.

It's not incredible yet.

So me, me and my homeboy robbed this dude for a pound of weed.

So we were like, hey, you know, we want a pound of weed.

And my buddy moved out of his apartment.

But he still had the keys, so it was like the perfect vacant spot.

So I had a.

A Browning.

45.

I am.

I am not good with guns at that point.

I have no clue.

You know, I was good with these.

You know, I never really had to deal with guns before.

But we set it up, you know, I was hiding behind the water.

Water heater, you know, and so then when he walks out, he's like, when I go upstairs, you know, this is.

I'm gonna like, bang on the floor.

And that's when you come out.

And so.

So I racked this.45 and I.

And I walk out there with a bandana on and I put it in dude's face and I have my finger on the trigger.

And I build guns now.

And so I realized how quickly things could have went terrible and so quickly found out that he was very submissive and so took the pound of weed from him.

I made him strip naked, butt naked.

And I grabbed his clothes because I was like, last thing you wanted I want you to do is run out, you know, and tell somebody, you ain't going to run out butt naked.

So took all of his clothes.

I went to go put the gun back in my pocket and I shot myself in the ass.

Yeah.

And.

And it.

And I still got the scar.

It.

I almost blew my nuts off.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You rob this dude, strip him naked, and end up shooting yourself?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The way you say stuff just makes it sound like worse than.

I'm just trying to paint the picture.

Yeah, yeah.

There's no painting.

I don't know how else to say it.

Yeah, no, that's.

This is your first time robbing somebody?

Like actual, like, gunpoint arm robbery?

Yeah.

Oh, did you shoot yourself in front of the dude you just robbed?

Did he know?

Like, I mean, yeah, but he's like, you shot yourself.

You going to shoot me next?

So I'm just going to shut up, you know what I mean?

So it's like I'm not even afraid to shoot myself.

You almost shot your nuts off.

Yeah.

Cuz.

Where did it go in?

It went in my back, left cheek.

And it came out like, right.

It went.

It went in between my femur and my femoral artery.

I was gonna say if it came out inside, like.

Yeah.

So it went between, you know, the bone that if I would have hit it, I would have lost my leg for sure.

I would hit the artery.

I would have bled to death, you know, and so, like, I was in the hospital with that.

So did you get caught robbing this dude?

No.

He didn't turn you guys in.

He's butt naked selling weed, you know, I mean, like, yeah, he's not gonna.

What he's gonna do, Tell somebody.

So what do you tell the cops?

So I'm smart.

So instead of going to the hospital in the city that I did this robbery In, I drive 40 minutes south to Tacoma and go to TG because gunshot victim there.

That's.

That's normal.

And so I went to a different hospital, you know, bleeding all through my pants and everything.

40 minutes with a gunshot through your.

Yeah, your leg?

Yeah.

To a different hospital.

Because if gunshots in Puyallup, and then, you know, oh, there's a big black dude in the hospital with a gunshot.

Like, I was like, you're not catching me like that.

So, you know, I went to Tacoma, and Damn.

Got off, you know, Then my.

My wife, which was my girlfriend at the time, she.

You know, she showed up the hospital, and, you know, that was kind of how that went.

Did you rob anybody after that?

Was that a one and done?

Hell, no.

Yeah, I didn't do that.

I was like, this is stupid.

Like, I'm not doing this again.

But the craziest thing is, after.

After me and my wife got married, we lived with her mom for, like, three years.

And one of my elementary school buddies was doing something Amway or some sort of life insurance deal or whatever, and.

And he was like, hey, can I come to your house and just practice and give you a spiel, you know?

And I was like, word?

Yeah, that's fine.

Like, let's.

Let's hear it.

He's like, I'm coming with my manager, so you can maybe guess how this is going.

His manager was the dude that I robbed.

No.

Yeah.

So he showed up.

Now I had a mask on, so he didn't.

He didn't know who I was, but I knew who he was.

And I was like, oh, you gotta be kidding me.

Like, really?

Like, this guy's here and we almost get in a fistfight because he was trying to sell me insurance.

And I was like, the whole premise of you being here was like, I was just here to listen to my homie, and now you're trying to tell me that I'm a deadbeat dad, you know, because I don't want to get life insurance.

I was like, I'll kick you right off this.

Off these stairs, like, if you don't get out of my house.

And so then he left.

And then I called my buddy that I robbed the dude with.

And I was like, bro, you'll never guess who just shot it to my house, homeboy.

The chances of that happen.

I told you.

Remember I was telling you earlier.

Oh, it's never happened until, like, that's what my life is.

It's a bunch of stuff like this, bro.

What is the chances of that?

How many years difference between when you robbed him until he shows back up with your boy?

Two, two and a half years.

Oh, so it's fresh.

Three years.

Yeah.

And he didn't recognize you?

I mean, I was wearing a bandana, you know, but it's like I was 6, 7 back then too.

So it's like, I don't know, like, it had to be.

It had to be God or something, you know?

Like, I don't know what it was, but it happened.

Holy.

That's insane.

Yeah.

Par for the course, right?

Yeah.

Damn, dude.

Okay, so you're what, how old at this age?

I mean, you're robbing people, what, 17, 18?

How old were you when you did that?

Yeah.

Oh, 19.

19.

So where does life go from here now?

You realize the.

The hardcore bank banging life isn't probably your thing because after you shot yourself, you're done making counterfeit money.

Where's life lead to you now?

So when I had.

When I moved back to Washington state from dc, I ended up.

I'm a numbers guy, as you know.

Math is my thing.

And so I remembered my wife's phone number, all of her friends phone numbers.

And so I was like, you know, when I get back, I'm gonna.

I need to land into something, you know, some kind of trouble.

And so I called her.

She was the only one that answered.

And then we ended up getting together.

And she got pregnant in the same month we got together.

You know, her mom let me live with them and sleep in the same bed as her.

And I don't know if she thought we were like, praying or something, or what, but she got pregnant, you know, essentially, and we were together for about a year.

And you guys have a Bible study.

Up there or what?

Bro, Moms, dude.

Moms are the problem.

I try.

Like, dude, they're like.

They're just teenagers.

No, the.

Not.

Yeah, yeah, like, oh, he's a good, good Christian kid.

Yeah, so was I.

Like, yeah, it's.

Or whatever.

Yeah, it's always the.

It's always the moms, man, that just.

Oh, they're fine.

They're just hanging out, watching a movie.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Waterbed.

But anyways.

Yeah, yeah.

So we Were together for a year, and then my life just.

It kept going, going down.

I wasn't ready for no relationship.

You know, I started.

That's when I got into cocaine, was when I was 19.

How'd you get introduced to cocaine?

Cocaine?

One of my buddies that I met that was from Germany, like, there was a.

There was a group of us.

There's like six of us that were.

They were always together.

And like, anything we would do, we would do it as a mob together, you know, just six friends.

And one of them was.

Was from Germany, and he had this thing for cocaine.

I was like, dude, I've done weed.

I've done.

You know, I've smoked PCP at this point.

I've drank a lot, but what does cocaine do?

And so then I tried it and I was like, this makes me smarter.

Like, I'm already smart.

Like, now I'm, like, super smart.

And so that spiraled into, like, a huge addiction, you know, that didn't even stop until July of last year.

Oh, yeah.

Can I ask you a question?

Hell, yeah.

Who is the cruise that you roll with?

Because I feel you have the ability to be able to roll with the black guys.

Transformers.

Yeah, you.

You come off as a Transformer type of dude.

Like, you could hang with any.

Any group and anybody.

Like, who are you K with?

Is it just anybody and everybody?

No, it was.

It was the people that made me feel safe, you know, just like the.

The.

The people on the corner when I was in D.C. that I was hanging with people like that, you know, and it was a.

It was a mixed bag.

You know, there's black dudes, white dudes, Mexican dudes.

It was.

It was just.

We were all kind of in the same boat, you know, just have, you know, at that point, race and color and that didn't even matter at that point.

It was just like, we've all been through.

We ain't going to talk about it.

We just know that we've been struggling.

And so now we're just going to kick in.

That's what.

That's what we did for four years.

Did that.

Really?

Yeah.

That's how long me and my.

Until I was 22 is.

Is when that kind of ended.

So, yeah, like three years.

But coke's expensive.

How are you for affording this?

You know, that's one of the things my mind is blocked is the memory on how that happened.

Like, I don't.

I didn't have.

I didn't have, like, good jobs.

You know, I was doing, like, landscaping here and there but, like, I. I just.

I honestly can't remember how I was doing so much cocaine all the time.

I mean, I had me having a gift of gab and being able to talk to people in all circumstances.

I was able to get, you know, in people's good graces and then finesse them out of stuff.

And so it was just a skill that I acquired.

Like, I have no clue how I got it, but it.

It got to a point where I was, you know, buying an elbow, which is like 9 ounces, you know, like blocks.

Yeah.

You know, and that just, you know, it's like, oh, I'm just gonna sell it.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

And then now your nose is gone, you know.

Did you try selling coke at all?

Yeah.

Is that what you were doing?

Yeah.

You're making good money doing that.

I sniffed all the profit, that's for sure.

Did you?

Yeah.

So you were hooked?

Oh, yeah.

How quick did you get hooked on coke?

Once I started, I didn't stop for 20 years.

No, like I said, July of last year is when I had to stop because I was in the hospital.

No.

Yeah.

Damn it.

Got a tux in you?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I'm still an addict, you know, I still have the same.

But I just.

I think of everything different now.

You know, I do the things that I don't want to do because I know it's going to benefit me.

You know, I may not like it, but, you know, stop drinking, stop for sure doing cocaine, stop smoking weed.

Like, stop.

Just stopped everything.

And luckily I was in the hospital kind of going through all of that.

So, like, the withdrawals that I should have had, like, I was in the hospital hooked up to IVs and pain meds the whole time.

So, like, I really didn't.

So you never experienced it?

Yeah.

You know, horrible withdrawals?

No, not.

Not like I probably should have.

Like, there's sometimes, like, I was at a point where I was, what I was drinking.

I was.

I was probably doing a gram or two of.

Of cocaine a day, at least.

And then when I drink, I'm drinking a fifth.

And my wife can vouch for this.

A hundred proof fifth of bourbon, just me, ice in the bottle, like, and that.

And I could kill it two, three hours, and she wouldn't even know that I was.

That I was drunk.

Like, she.

She wouldn't even know.

And this is like, we're going on 8, 17, 18 years of marriage, you know, and being able to hide stuff to the point where.

No idea.

I mean, you're a big Dude, So you probably can.

Just takes a lot for you to get you anywhere.

Yeah.

To a state where you're noticeable, huh?

Yeah.

I knew I. I knew.

I was like, okay, bro, you can drink a fifth.

You can drink a half of a half gallon, no problem.

Wake up.

Fine.

Okay, I have a problem.

There's something like.

And so I was actually told my wife, I was like, you know, that Sunday or a Sunday.

I was like, I'm.

I'm going to take a little break from drinking.

Two days into that break, I start getting stomach pains.

And I was like, these are not normal stomach pains.

But my wife has known me to be a per se.

A hypochondriac, just because I did so much cocaine.

I went to the emergency room 14 times, and they had to pump me with Ativan because I was just so high out of my mind that, like, I thought I was dying, you know, to a point of hyperventilating myself.

And so.

So I had.

You got a little bit of.

She thinks a boy who cried wolf.

Yeah.

She's like, okay, yeah, go ahead.

And I was like, I'll drive myself.

That's fine.

Whatever.

You know, I'm used to it.

But I was like, but something's messed up in my stomach.

Like, it's not just, like a McDonald's cheeseburger messed up.

It's like something in there is, like, writing incursive in my stomach.

And I was like, this is not good.

So I went to the urgent care right around.

Right around the corner from where we lived.

And they were like, yeah, we got to take your blood to another hospital because we can't separate it.

Like, it won't.

We can't spin it fast enough.

So we got to take it to a hospital because my triglycerides were 5,700, and 100 is normal, 100 less.

And so they were like.

It's like trying to separate motor oil, you know, is what it was.

They're like, we have no clue how you're.

How you're even alive right now.

And so they did a little CAT scan of my pelvis area and stomach, and they're like, you have acute pancreatitis, and we're getting ready to send you to the hospital.

And I was like, hold on a second.

I'm a hypochondriac.

This is just.

Where's the advance?

Give me advance.

It's gonna go away.

And they're like, nope.

Yep, you need to go.

You need to get admitted to the hospital.

And so I literally got Admitted and was in the ICU for.

For two weeks.

Kidney failure.

And.

Yeah, so what they're doing at this point, they're like cycling all your blood out and like trying to filter it or what?

I mean, no, there was no cycling nothing.

They'd have to take all my blood out, you know, but they were, you know, so the ICU was where I had to be, you know, and that like, I had to get a catheter put in.

And so like this, this was like the most demasculating embarrassing that I've ever been through because I'm like, number one.

No dude's ever gonna touch me ever, let alone wipe my ass, you know, but in the hospital on all these drugs, I had to have a dude put a catheter in and then I had to have a dude clean me up because I blew my drawers off and you know, and I couldn't move and so I had to roll over.

And it's like the most embarrassing ever.

That's degrading, you know.

And then it's like this.

I got cameras on me because I can't get up, and if they see me move, then they're going to come and stop me, you know, because I really was very close to dying.

And it's just.

It just didn't really click, I guess with me, you know, it's like I knew where I was at and what was going on, but I was like, I'll get through this.

I've been through worse, you know.

Damn.

Okay, so where were we?

Yeah, and that was the third time I almost died.

There was a second time that I didn't even get to yet.

So what's the second time?

I fell down a waterfall.

How high was the waterfall?

It's like 70 something feet.

You fell off a 70 foot waterfall?

Okay, let me, let me preface it with this.

So 70ft tall and then there's like about 15, 20ft down.

There was like a little big huge collection pool that the water went into and then went back over.

Okay.

You know, and so the whole time my wife is just, just bitching.

She's like, don't fall, don't fall, don't fall.

And I'm like, you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna act like I'm falling to shut your ass up.

Well, I acted like I was falling and I fell.

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

Had to get rescued by East Pierce.

Shout out to East Pierce Fire and rescue.

Thank you so much for saving my black ass.

Yeah, just keep camera on me.

He's he's laughing too much.

Right, bro?

The whole time you're down there, you're like.

She was right.

Yeah.

And what's wild is like, I. I fell down.

I'm not wearing.

I'm wearing brand new danners.

I'm not wearing any swimming clothes whatsoever.

And so then, I don't know, black people, waterfalls, swimming.

And I wasn't that kind of guy.

Like, I was black.

But I love water.

I love it.

Okay.

I didn't fit the mold.

I haven't taken a bath since.

But now that's.

I have a reason for that.

But, yeah, I fell down head first.

Like, this whole thing is.

Okay.

Paint this picture.

It's probably six feet, you know, wide.

The diameter is six feet wide of this hole.

You know, I'm fall from 20ft up, head first.

It's all rocks.

Everything is rocks.

And right before I fell, I was like, how deep is it in there?

Like, I really want to know.

Well, I still didn't find out because I didn't hit the bottom.

Like, I fell in and I. I was at least 10, 12ft down, and.

And I had vertigo, you know, Like, I didn't know which way was up.

I heard my wife screaming, like, through the water, you know what I'm saying?

Like, the holy ghost of her lungs.

And.

And so then I finally look up, I see the light, you know, literally.

And I'm stroking.

I'm like.

I'm pumping so hard, like, to get.

And I had one last pump before it was, like, time to drown, you know, kind of thing.

Yeah.

And so I got out.

And then as soon as I get.

Get out, I dislocated my knee.

My wife started doing the whole laugh thing.

She started laughing.

I was like, I'm down here almost dead to death, and.

And you are laughing at me, you know, and then my son was dying laughing, too.

I'm like, yeah, y' all got problems.

Definitely got problems, you know, but you.

Had to get rescued out of there.

Yeah.

East Pierce Fire and Rescue.

They came.

They're like, oh, we know exactly where you're at.

People fall down all the time.

I'm like, cool.

Nice.

Can't wait for the catheter.

Yeah.

It's like.

It's just embarrassing.

So they came down, put a ladder strapped, you know, pulled me up, and I got out of there.

They already have it all set up.

The ladder was behind the tree.

I was like, oh, if I would have known, I would have just would have grabbed it.

So, yeah, it was.

So that was the second time now we can go back fast forward.

Yeah.

So what's the.

What's the first or third time you said you've almost died?

Three times.

First time was shooting myself.

Okay.

Second time was the waterfall.

Third time is the whole pancreas.

Holy, bro.

Yeah, that's comedy, isn't it?

What'd your wife have to say about that?

I mean, she was like, I told you, you know, I'm sorry.

Yeah, you're right.

Whatever.

Did you ever tell her you were just messing around and.

Yeah, I told her.

You know, at this point in my life, I was like, transparency, like, whatever.

What's worse gonna happen?

You know, it's like.

And it's my wife, so I'm just gonna tell her, you know, and she saw me, so it's like, what I'm saying, I'm clumsy.

Nah.

I knew what I was doing.

But you were just playing too hard is what you were doing.

Yeah, I was like, you know what I'm gonna do.

Yeah.

Yep.

Damn, bro.

How long you been with your wife?

Is it 17 years?

19 years.

9Th.

Good for you guys.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

So she's been with you through a lot of everything?

Yep.

Good for her.

Yep.

In a jail, license getting revoked and.

Yeah.

I mean, did you go to jail?

The first time was.

I was 12, but the most time that I'm talking about, Iowa's actually, it was 2009.

Hold on.

I want to hear how you went to jail at 12.

Oh, so I was, I was at the mall, South Hill Mall, Camelot Music Store.

Okay.

You know, I don't know if you heard the rapper bg, but he was my favorite artist at the time.

And so I tried to steal the cd, but I wasn't like a good criminal, so I had no clue, like, oh, these, you know, buzzers are going to go off when you walk out the door with this cd.

I was like, you should have took the CD out of the case and put in your pocket.

But I didn't do that.

So then things go off and innocent me, I'm just like, oh, what happened?

I don't know.

I.

You know, and then they're like, yep.

Then the Puyallup police showed up, took my little 12 year old ass down to Puyallup jail.

And my stepparents were out of town at the time, you know, and so my.

My good friend, his dad, who was the best example of a dad that I've probably ever seen in my life, you know, like dope dude, he.

He came down and got me and he's like, Nah, let his little ass sit there.

Nah, he did this, you know, and so, like, come on, please.

Like, you know, I'm saying my hands didn't even fit in the handcuffs all the way.

Like, I could pull them off.

You know, I kept them on.

But yeah, so, yeah, so that's the first, like, experience with.

With law.

But then, you know, I got three DUIs, so I was dealing with the law a lot with that.

A lot of assaults.

The.

The one.

The most notable one is I was.

I was at a bar, which my wife was like, get your ass home.

But I was like, nah, I'm kicking it.

So I. I ended up instigating a fight outside.

We're getting ready to leave, and there's these three dudes talking to this chick.

And I was like, you know, y' all need to get out the way, you know, whatever, in my polite voice, you know, And.

And that caused a fight.

I probably started the fight, but they.

They jumped me.

Three of them, and they're military dudes.

And I only know that because one of them, I had to pay for restitution for him getting discharged from the military because he couldn't see.

Oh, what branch?

Navy guys.

Army.

Okay, but.

And I was like, if this is how y' all fight, y' all need to go back to train or something.

That's army.

Don't.

Don't.

Yeah, Marines.

I thought it was a bullet with that, but so.

So.

So I whipped them all handedly.

Like, all of them broke a guy's, like, orbital bone.

And at the end of the fight, all the dudes were on the ground.

And I'm just sitting there like, yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

I did this.

My old buddy comes out of the corner and kicks one of the dudes in the face.

Like, full on.

John Ryan punt in his face.

Oh.

And his whole was broke.

And so when the cops get there, like, the cops already did.

Felt some kind of way with black folks because they're always in trouble.

You know where I was at.

And so, like.

And I say that because I was wearing white Jordans, light blue jeans.

He had blood all over his legs and all over his pants.

White dude.

Yeah, white dude.

And then.

So then they come up, they look at everybody, up and down, you know, obviously have swollen knuckles or whatever.

He has blood all over.

I have nothing, no blood on me.

But they take me to jail for assault with a deadly weapon because, like, dude got kicked in his face.

Anything you do to somebody when they're on the ground, you know, it's defenseless person kind of a deal.

Yeah.

And so it was.

It was a terrible time because the.

The cops didn't like me.

And I was like, I'm not a snitch, you know, But I'm like, look at his shoes.

Like, I'm not the one that kicked your boy out.

No, I didn't write him out.

And so then I talked to him.

He's like, hey, we'll make this straight.

Don't trip.

We'll make it straight.

Don't worry.

So I was like, okay, cool.

I'll just ride to the station.

So.

Rode to the station.

I was watching from the back.

The officer put in some details of the story that I was like, hey, bro, that's not true.

I was like, you weren't even there.

And you're saying parts of the story that you didn't even see to cooperate.

Me kicking this dude.

I was like, you're full of dude.

Took a hard left.

So I ended up slamming against the back because I'm not wearing a seatbelt in the back of the car.

And so then I ended up going to county, you know, the whole bend over, spread your cheeks, lift your sack, cough, you know, thing, and did that whole deal.

What's that feel like, knowing that you're.

Getting booked at that point?

It's in my life.

It's like, this is familiar.

Okay.

You know, so it's like, it's nothing, you know, I had like 20 something charges up until I was 18 years old, you know, So I was like, jail's nothing.

So as soon as they pulled you when they got there and they pulled your.

Oh, yeah, they see assaults, lying to public servant.

They.

You know, all this stuff.

Then they see, they're like, oh, yeah, this dude's a criminal.

You didn't see that?

You know, I could have paid him off with it, I think.

But.

But yeah, so it was.

So I went to jail.

My wife was like, I'm not bailing you out.

So she didn't.

She didn't mail me out.

My stepmom had to come bail me out.

No, no, it's not.

Yeah, that's your asset lesson.

Yeah, no, it's terrible.

She told you to get home.

Look what happened.

Yeah, I know, I know, but cut that part out.

You just kind of.

But so I.

So I talked to my lawyer, and my lawyer is completely infatuated with my wife.

You know, I mean, like, he was just pervertedly always looking at my wife, and I'm like, hey.

Like, yeah.

You know, and he.

And he told me, is your wife white?

Yeah.

Okay, that's my.

That's.

That's my kryptonite, you know, my vanilla woman, you know?

But the.

I got let out of jail, and then I was going back and forth to the detectives, and this is the most crooked thing I've ever seen the police do.

I was talking to the detective, and he was like, did you kick him?

Did you kick him?

I was like, no, I didn't kick him.

I didn't kick him.

He turns off the recording, and he says, why don't you just tell us Chris kicked him?

And I was like, bro, if you know he did that, then go get him.

But what I found out was, is they wanted to charge us together in, like, a conspiracy kind of thing.

Otherwise, they had to charge us separate, because I didn't do that, and I wasn't a part of that.

He did that after the fact.

And so I ended up talking to my lawyer, and I was like, bro, this is what they're saying.

Like, and this is what they did in the interview.

Like, they turned off the recorder, told me they know who kicked him, and they still don't want to go get the dude.

And he was like, at this point, Brian, you're the big bad black guy with a long rap sheet.

He was like, you're.

You might as well just take the charge, you know?

And so they dropped it to, like, an assault three from, like, two assault ones, and, you know, got released into this BTC program called Breaking the Cycle, you know, So I do a day in jail, and then once I get a job, I can get out of the program and whatever.

So I. I ended up doing that.

And I was a cook at the time.

And while that was going on, like, I was going to church.

Ended up running into this guy at church that was an electrician, and he told me.

He's like, hey, go to the electrical union, you know, because they're hiring, and you don't have to have any experience.

So I was like.

They were like, you just got to be good at math.

And I'm like, no problem.

I got that.

You know, and so I started off as an electrician, you know, making.

You know, this was 2007, you know, making, like, 12 bucks an hour.

And, you know, here I am 20 years later, Master electrician, and got all these certifications like that, but my license got revoked because of all the DUIs that I got.

And so I ended up getting my real estate license, and I was electrician.

And so I was doing both, you Know, showing houses in my work truck, things like that.

But while I was an apprentice, my license got revoked.

Driver's license.

Yeah, yeah, like revoked, not like suspended.

Like you have no more license and you can't get it again in this state.

And so that was a whole appeal process with the dollar.

And so meanwhile, my, my wife is driving me to work, like driving me 40 miles one way and then going home, coming to get me.

She works 10 hour shift, so it's like 4 tens.

So that went on for a while to the point where I was like, I actually caught up.

I was catching a bus and having a foreman come pick me up.

Excuse me.

Damn, what a good ass wife you got.

Yeah, I know, right?

That's a writer.

That's.

It's kind of why I asked because it was a, That's a white woman thing to leave your ass in jail.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Black chick would have picked me up and said it was okay, babies.

That's why I was like, man, she left his ass.

I had to ask that.

And driving your ass all over the state too.

Okay, so it, I mean, but yeah, she rode with me the whole time, you know, like, for you guys, like in the midst of all of the, the drug use and all of the, you know, things that I was doing to, to jeopardize, you know, the marriage, the one thing that I had going good for me is I ended up getting my license back.

You know, I ended up, you know, praying a bunch and, and doing all the stuff with dol.

Got a lawyer and stuff.

And they ended up getting my license back.

And what was wild is that they.

I didn't realize there was two Brian Parsons with license revoked.

And so I go to the hearing and, you know, I think the hearing goes well.

And then the next day they were like, yep, no, sorry, we've decided to, you know, revoke, you know, Parsons comma, Brian's license.

Like, it's indefinite now.

And so then I'm crying, I'm like, oh my gosh.

Like, I got this new career.

I got this thing like.

And I have no license.

And so I.

So we prayed.

We prayed.

And then the following week they were like, oh, sorry, we messed up.

It was the other Brian Parsons.

You got your license back.

And so, so what are the chances of that happening?

Sounds repetitious.

I hear it.

Yeah, bro.

Yeah.

So I got my license back.

And yeah, it was, it was a pinnacle moment for me because I, I dropped out of high school, went through all this stuff.

I was smart enough to graduate from Multiple high schools.

And I dropped out, went got my ged, was with my wife for a year.

We separated for four years.

I was in jail for a bunch of other assaults.

She told me that we're supposed to get married.

God told her.

So 7707, we got married.

You know, I got released in May.

Going through all this stuff with electrical and, you know, things that I'm trying to do, you know.

And so I ended up getting my electrical license and getting my RCDD, which is registered communication distribution designer.

Okay.

So only 7, 500 people in the world have it.

And you can design hospitals and schools and government buildings, like fiber optic network infrastructure type stuff.

Okay.

Okay.

And so, like, she rode with me throughout, through, through.

Through all of it, you know, from the dealing with me with my drugs, you know, up until just last year.

And then, you know, but the one thing that I had was like, every time we moved, we always moved up, you know, and that was one thing that I. I justified all my drug use was like, we never go backwards.

And so obviously what I'm doing is helping me, you know, so I'm gonna keep on doing it, you know, And I quit, like, you know, four times, you know, but I just never stopped.

And, you know, thank God, she never stopped believing in what we had, you know, And I was.

I was blind to it, you know, like, in the middle of all my drug use, volunteering at church, head of security at a big church, you know, where I was at in Tacoma, you know, heavily involved with children's ministry, heavily on cocaine.

So it was like.

It was that, like you mentioned earlier, the transformer kind of a mentality.

I was able to shut it off and be that godly person at church.

Go home, sniff rails all night, get drunk, you know, and then go back to church Sunday, volunteer four or five times a week, you know, at church, like me.

So it was like, damn, one foot in the world, one foot out, for sure, you know, in heaven, but out.

You know, that only lasts so long.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Until July.

It lasted.

You breezed over this.

But you said you were in and out of jail for other assaults.

What were those?

If you don't mind me asking?

Yeah, it was.

It was just me being young and stupid.

One of the.

The instance in particular that I.

That put me in jail was.

I was at.

I was at the A and P. M in Puyallup in this.

And the door was locked.

We're trying to get in and get beer.

The door was locked.

The.

The store owner, he opens up the door.

And I'm like, hey, man, your sign says door to remain unlocked during business hours.

This business hours.

And he was like, if you don't like my store, you stupid black guy, get out of my store.

And so what I did, with my own Christian background, is I grabbed him by the back of his shirt, like, you know, like in the cartoons, and I threw him into his beer pyramid because he had just stacked some beer up, threw him into that, knocked that down.

This part is hilarious to me because it was, like, so hilarious.

I had a doctor jersey around my neck.

And so he goes behind the counter, and he picks up the phone to call, obviously, the cops.

I take my jersey and do it like a towel, and I whip the phone out of his hand, which then I got interference with a 911 call because I snapped the phone out of his hand.

And then I.

Then I left, you know, obviously.

And so I had a warrant for my arrest because I was very, very popular in Puyallup jail.

Like, anytime I go to pull up jail, it's, Mr. Parsons, you're here again.

Nice to see you.

Put him in the tank, you know, kind of thing.

So.

So it didn't take long for them to see who I was, you know, on that camera.

And then, yeah, my DUIs, my third one caught up to me, and the judge wasn't having it, and so she just put me in jail.

And how long did you do?

I did four months, but how's that?

It wasn't bad.

It was Pierce county, you know, again, it's like, I've been through so much stuff, like, this is.

This is nothing.

But.

But prior to that, when the judge was like, nope, you're going to jail, I was like, no, no, I'm not.

And so I got up and left.

So I got charged with escape, you know, escape from custody.

And so then I beat up.

Then I beat up the guy at the store, you know, and so, like, I'm at a house party, and I hear this loud banging at the door.

And I'm like, that is a closed fist knock.

Don't open the door.

That's the cops.

This lady opens the door.

As soon as she does, they put their foot in the door.

And so then I'm like, I just sit on the chair.

I just take the half gallon.

I just start like, yep, I'm going in.

And so nobody would give my name up, which was cool, seeing everybody protect me.

But in the cop car, I was like, you guys are looking for me, man?

My name is Brian Parsons, and He looked and he's like, you're the am.

PM Guy.

And I was like, yeah.

And it was.

It was funny because the detectives were cracking up because they saw everything happen.

Yeah.

And so, you know, went to jail and then kind of just sat in there, and my girlfriend, which is my wife now, at the time, she.

She hated me, rightfully so.

Because it's like, you didn't have a dad.

You didn't have any of that.

Now you have a son, and you're not a dad.

You're not doing all the stuff that.

That you.

That you saw calling your.

Yeah.

So it's just your son at this point.

He was four years old.

Okay.

So.

Okay, so.

And I was.

I was in and out, like, for the.

From 1 to 4.

It was like, just I come over, but if I.

You know, I'd probably be high, so I'm passed out with my son on my lap or something.

Like, I just wasn't a good.

A good father, you know?

And, you know, a lot of times you can only put out what's put in.

So if, you know, you can imagine all that hate and all that, you know, disregard for human life and lack of empathy and caring, like, that's what I put out, because that's.

That's really all I knew.

You know, it's hard to do for sure.

Anything otherwise.

But.

Yeah, so sat in jail, and I had a girlfriend at the time, and I told.

I told my wife, you know, which.

We met at a skating rink when we were 12, by the way.

That's how we met each other.

But I told her.

I was like, hey, if you ever want to get married, I don't care who I'm with, I'll marry you.

And the last argument that we got in, I was yelling at her and her mom, and I was like, I'm gonna marry your daughter whether you like it or not.

And then I end up in jail.

And so, you know, we're writing letters back and forth, and I could.

I could tell that her attitude was changing, because I'm very perspective.

And I could see how the letters ended each time.

The first time, it was, like, from Gavin.

And then it was love, Gavin.

And then the next letter was Gavin and Kendra.

Then it was, love, Gavin and Kendra.

And then by the 10th, you know, find her letter.

She said, you know, love, Ms. Parsons.

You know, and so it was like, when I was in jail, my cellmates were like, we always know when you're on the phone with your baby mama versus your girlfriend because you're Always smiling with your baby mama.

And so, like that, sitting in jail and talking to those guys and having them be perceptive and see me, I was like, yeah, you know, I really am happy, you know, and then, you know, then she tells me on the phone that God told me that we're supposed to get married.

And so I was like, okay, cool.

I was like, I told you, I don't care who I'm with.

I'll.

I'll leave them.

And so got out, moved in with her and her mom in May 2007, and then we got married 7707.

And been married, you know, ever since.

Oh, yeah.

Good for you guys.

What's the worst fight you've ever been in?

Physical or with my wife?

Physical.

Wife.

Next.

I'm asking.

Yeah, that's.

You went there with that one.

I feel like you as a big dude.

Big dudes are always challenged every time you go to a bar.

Anything this.

I. I asked because being a big dude, my heaviest was like, 289, 290.

I remember when I was in ninth grade.

Yeah, right.

If you probably were weighing that, how much do you weigh now?

You're three.

What, 320.

I should have finished saying.

I was gonna say 320.

Yeah, you're a big dude.

What's the worst fight you've ever been in?

The worst fight?

Well, the worst damage that I did to somebody, it was.

It was actually with my.

My best friend.

We were at a bar playing darts, you know, because that's what we did was we were in dart league.

And so.

Okay.

You know, they.

At that bar, they had just the typical bar bully who, you know, like, I'm not looking for a fight, and I don't want a reason for my wife to say, I can't go anymore.

So, yeah, I avoided, you know, confrontation.

Well, unfortunately, one of the times we were playing against this dude and his team, and then my homeboy's girl at the time was, like, in the way.

Ish.

And so this guy was the type of guy that as soon as you got done throwing, he was at the line, ready to throw.

And you're like, dude, that's not etiquette.

Like, give me time to let me walk back.

And so he started pissing my homeboy off.

And my homeboy is a shooter, fighter, puncher.

Like.

And so I'm like, okay, I cannot let him get involved because I'm an electrician.

He's my best friend, you know, and I've taught him everything about electrical.

So, like, I Feel like I'm invested in just friendship, love.

And it's like, I don't want him to get in trouble, so I'm going to step in front and be like, hey, guys, you know, let's.

Let's get it, get it.

Let's squash it.

Because I had just got done giving that guy a bunch of referrals for residential because I had my real estate license.

And so I was like, hey, let me use you to replace all the tiles.

So, like, we had a good relationship.

So I was kind of thrown off a little bit when he got my homeboy's face.

And I was like, he'll hit you, so let me get in your face.

Well, he.

He got my face, and he poked me in my chest, and my hands were in my pockets, and I just.

I came up out of my pocket and game a hook so bad, and his nose was like.

He did the whole spin around and reach up, you know, in his nose.

I was like, oh, my God.

Like, his nose.

So he had to get reconstructive surgery.

And I didn't feel bad for him because he was cheating on his girlfriend at the time, and she had cancer.

Oh, that's so.

That's grimy.

Yeah.

So I was like.

You were.

You were like.

And he said that night he wanted to get in a fight.

So, you know what was crazy?

That his teammate.

I'm friends with everybody, you know, like, they paid my tab, and they.

And they were like, get me out of here.

You know?

So they got me out of there, they paid my bill, and, you know, they.

The guy ended up.

This is wild how the story goes.

The guy called my job because he knew where I worked.

I worked at an electrical contractor as a project manager.

He called my job, told the lady at the front desk, the cops are looking for this guy.

He hit me.

You know, it's like, you were just tough two days ago, and now when they had to fix your nose, you know, like, all of a sudden, now you, like, you want to get me fired?

You know?

But they didn't.

They didn't fire me.

My job.

Didn't care at the time.

They're like, oh, that dude sounds like a bitch.

And I was like, yeah, he definitely was.

And so, like, he started making new Facebook accounts and all this stuff so that he.

Because I kept blocking him.

I'm like, you know what?

Like, I'm literally a shooter.

I will shoot you.

So, like, I'm just going to leave it alone.

So I block him.

He keeps making new accounts and blah, blah, Blah.

And so that ended up.

So he ended up quitting darts altogether because I talked to the bar owner and they're like, hey, he quit playing darts.

You know, we had to 86 you for like a month, but you're good to come back.

He's done playing darts.

He's never going to play darts again.

And I'm like, you know what?

I'm done playing darts too.

My wife said she didn't want me there, so I'm not gonna be there.

So I'm gonna go with my other best friend and I'm gonna go bowling.

Because, like, let's just go bowling.

The first day of league bowling.

You'll never guess who the hell was sitting right in the seat, you know, looking right at me after he said he was gonna kill me.

You know, here I am alive.

And so it didn't work out.

You know, this.

You walk.

He started a whole new sport.

This dude is sitting right there.

Yep, bro.

First person I seen the league, craziest life.

Yeah.

Happening.

So it.

So I was like, you know what?

I can't do this.

I'm not gonna, like, I know by any stretch, but I'm not gonna.

I'm not gonna entertain a situation where this.

This can end very badly.

We know it's going to.

Yeah.

And I think he got his in the end.

He actually just died last year in a motorcycle accident.

He got drunk and wrecked, so I think he got his in the end, you know, but that's just how I feel about it, you know?

No, no real mercy for him.

But, yeah, so I offered to pay for his surgery and all that, and he.

He said no.

He just wanted me to go to jail.

And it was self defense because it was on camera that he put his hands up and then I just relocated his nose and that was the end of that.

And so then my wife was like, yep, no more.

You're not going anywhere anymore, you know, so that's kind of how that shook out.

Yeah, that happens, man.

Especially being the big guy, I'm sure.

Yeah, the big, like the big nice guy.

Like the big teddy bear guy.

The guy that's like, you know, super nice to everybody, but it's like the switch man, just like.

Well, there's always the guy too, because I. I went through a stint for a while where I was.

I went completely sober, but I had DD for all my buddies.

And this, it was right, like my peak, biggest physical fitness stage, you know, when I was just ginormous for my size.

And so I'd always be Sober, I'd always just be drinking a water at the bottom.

And it was like, every time, man, somebody would want to challenge and step up.

And I was like, I'm not even trying to fight tonight.

Like, I'm completely.

And then there's always the wasted dude.

It's like, dude, you don't want to do this.

Like, I'm trying to.

I'm trying to help you right now.

Like, I'm cool.

We don't need to fight.

I was like, always.

That's.

That's why I asked.

It was always on fight night.

Like, that's when the most fights happen.

UFC nights and UFC nights.

It's like, oh, it's like, great.

You know, I used to bounce at a bar in Temecula.

There's a California wine country.

Dude, you.

There's got all these Gracie Gym right down.

So every dude in the bar all had cauliflower ear.

And then there'd be a fight night, bro.

It was.

That's when.

God, I just tell my wife, like, I'd be like, hey, it's boring night tonight.

Roll through so we could kick something off.

And it was.

Yeah.

And it would just be the biggest brawls of my life working down there.

Just.

And everybody was a.

Thought they were a pro fighter and.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Every time.

Every fight night, it was.

That's funny you say that, because I used to.

I was a bouncer, too, when I was 17 in DC.

Bouncer at Strip clubs.

Oh, God.

How was that?

That was like.

That was probably.

That was one of my first, like, girlfriends was a stripper named Honey, and she had a missing tooth because it was dc.

So it's like.

It's kind of.

Yeah.

C section scar too, or what?

Tiger stripes.

The whole.

The whole nine, you know, so that.

Hey.

So.

But.

But then, you know, they didn't care how old you were.

Just, can you fight if you need to?

And I was like, yeah, I can fight.

So, you know, at that time, I was only like 170 pounds, but I could.

I could square up, though.

Yeah.

I've always been able to fight, you know, and that's been a good thing and a bad thing, honestly.

Hold on.

Your first girlfriend was a stripper named Honey?

Missing a tooth?

Yeah, Front tooth, too.

It was a big joint.

Not one of them molar joints, you know.

It's like, wow, what is that?

Don't ever turn your head to the side.

It was a straight up front one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was a big.

That was probably a wild ride.

Yeah, it was crazy.

It was crazy.

Yeah, especially, like, when her boyfriend showed up or whatever.

Like.

Like, that was, like, it was not a good time.

So that.

That job didn't last, but I just thought it was funny because you were a bouncer too.

Dude bounces.

One of the craziest jobs, especially if you're in the right bar.

Yeah, bro, I would work.

Dude.

I worked at this one bar.

This dude.

He.

I was in there, I think, with my wife, and he's like, man, you're a big dude.

He's like.

He's like, what do you do for work?

I was like, I'm in the marines.

He's like, I'll pay you to come in here and just fight people for us.

And I was like, how much?

It was like 25 bucks an hour.

And I was like, you're gonna pay me just to come in here and fight drug people for you?

He's like, if you're interested.

I'm like, absolutely.

He's like, you can hire all your friends too.

So I. Dude, it was just a bunch of marines.

Is he still hiring?

Oh, this place.

Actually, I think he ended up going down for, like, fraud.

I think he tried to catch the place on fire.

It was like, oh, but, man, that place would go from, like, this.

The most elegant wine and cheese and just the most perfect white people setting.

And then, like, would switch.

And it was just the craziest bar.

Fist fighting.

I mean, it was insane.

I mean, I would come home every.

Every Friday and Saturday just like, just beat up fighting people.

And it gets old after a little bit.

That's why I see some of these old timers, like the OGs that are still bouncing certain places.

I'm like, man, ashy knuckles and all that.

Yeah.

I'm like, you've been through some.

Working in these bars your whole life.

Yeah.

You never want to move up, huh?

Okay.

Yeah, man.

You have lived a freaking life.

So where are we?

I don't even know where we are.

In your life story.

Yeah.

You beat up three army dogs.

Ended up getting in trouble for that.

Yeah.

Just killed somebody three years ago.

You what?

Just killed somebody three years ago.

You did?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gotten a shootout.

You got.

Yep.

Legal.

It was legal.

I got my rights reinstated.

Everything.

Like, I was building guns and all that stuff.

So how are you not a felon at this point?

How many times you've been.

I have felonies.

Yeah.

You're able to own guns?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yep.

I got a U pin and everything.

And it's because I went through all the steps.

I paid off all my restitution.

I reapplied for my civil rights in Washington.

Much did you end up paying a restitution for people?

I want to say it was close to 30 grand.

30?

Yeah.

And that was, you know, okay, 15, 16 years ago, so.

Okay, hold on.

So you killed a dude in a shootout.

Can you walk?

You.

You cool with talking about that?

Yeah, I think it's great.

Yeah, I.

All right, let's hear this.

Yeah, no, it's.

So like I said before, I was in real estate, a good friend of mine bought a house.

Yeah, you got she belt on.

Yeah.

A good friend of mine bought a house from me.

He wanted to move to another house.

We wanted to maintain this house as a rental.

So I was like, no problem.

He was like, I'm thinking about renting to your little brother.

The same little brother we've been talking about.

And I was like, hey, man, you're a grown up and you can do what you want, but this is a very bad idea because my little brother is on drugs.

And so he's like, okay, cool.

Let my brother move in, rented a house, right?

So the house turned into a drug house, you know, and at the time, my nephew was in and out of that house.

And so when they all got evicted, my stepdad was like, brian, can you go to that house and get, you know, junior stuff?

Because he had a bed, skateboard, he had all this stuff, you know, And I had just got a brand new truck.

And so I was like, yeah, I'll go there.

I'll go there and pick up all the stuff, you know, because my buddy wanted to go there and check out all the damage.

I mean, because there was.

There was literally a chopped up cars.

Like, I had never seen a car.

It was like cut in half, like the front and back.

And it was folded up, it was tweaker.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

So I show up with.

With my buddy and his mom and a whole group of people.

And so we start going through the house and looking at stuff.

Well, I find an ounce of meth in one of the drawers and I'm like, I love cocaine, but I don't.

This.

I look down at people to do this, you know, and so we ended up flushing it down the toilet.

And so a dude shows up in a Honda and he's like, hey, I just want to come get my mattress.

And I was like, bro, you're in a Honda.

You're not here for the mattress.

I was like, we flushed the dope down the toilet, so that's gone.

And so he was.

He was pissed.

He was super pissed.

And so he was mad that he got evicted, mad that his dope got flushed.

So he.

He's like, well, let me go grab some stuff.

And so, like, my homie had just got out of prison for stabbing somebody, so he was.

He's not the guy to play with because he'll.

He'll stab you.

And so clearly.

So the.

So the guy goes in the house and he's just talking crap.

And I was like, bro, you just ruined my buddy's house.

He's not playing with you.

Like, I'm gonna let him take off.

Like, stop.

He didn't stop.

So my homeboy stomped him out, you know, let him get a good five, six stomps in.

I pulled him off and I was like, hey, man, let.

Let him get his stuff.

And he's like, okay.

And he was like, can I invite.

Can I have my brother come?

The.

The smoker dude?

Can I have my brother come?

Because I want.

Like, I want to help.

Have him help me get stuff.

And my buddy was like, hell no.

And I was like, bro, the more stuff you let him get, the less stuff you and your folks got to deal with.

So, like, let's just, like, let's just go outside, let him call his people, and we'll just sit there.

So the house is a split level house.

So the garage is, you know, probably three feet lower than the grass bluff.

You walk up and you have to go into the house, and you can go up or down from that point.

And so the grass bluffs like 2, 3ft.

And so we're sitting in the driveway in a little circle, and this greasy white dude shows up wearing a swishy outfit, you know, long hair, hat pulled down over his eyes.

And he walks right in the middle of our circle.

And I was like, you know, I've been pretty calm up until this point.

But one, you stink, and you just, like, blast it through the circle disrespectfully.

I was like, now I'm gonna have to stomp you out.

So I put aggressive hands on homeboy and so chase him out of the house.

Now, if you can't tell, I'm not a runner.

So I chased him as far as I could breathe, you know, to the end of the.

To the end of the sidewalk.

Yeah.

And then I walk back.

Yeah.

And so then I tell my buddy.

I was like, hey, his car's here, so he is going to come back.

So when he comes back, like, everybody go into the garage.

Stay out of the way.

And I'm gonna walk up here on this bluff so that if he does anything, he's looking at me and he's not just, you know, shooting into a crowd.

Because I. I always figured, like, you know, the bullets from a coward kill you just the same as somebody, you know, who's gangster.

So I was like, just be safe.

So I have my Glock 19X on me.

My favorite handgun.

To this day, it's still in my safe.

I had it, I pulled it out, and I put it behind my back, racked and loaded, ready to go, just in case.

So the dude gets in his car, he backs up super fast, slams on the brakes, rolls down the window, and I'm like, oh, here.

It's about to jump off.

He points a gun out the window, starts shooting.

He missed, obviously, you know, and at that point, like, I'm.

I'm an addict, a supreme addict.

So I was building polymer 80 glocks.

I was building 80 lower AR15s.

I was training with weapons all the time because that was my new, you know, drug of choice that I was.

Oh, okay.

I'm thinking addict.

Okay, drug addict.

You're talking.

You're obsessed.

Yeah, okay, okay.

And so.

So I have impeccable aim.

And so the dude, you know, he.

He floors it, and then I just unload on him.

My first shot hit his back window.

I adjusted and put four shots in him, in the side of his chest.

And as soon as I heard him screaming, I was like, got him.

So I stopped shooting.

And I'm a law abiding citizen minus cocaine use at this point.

So I call the police, and I'm like, hey, I just shot somebody.

You know, blah, blah, blah.

So those guys didn't have nothing to do that night because 15 cars showed up.

No lights, no nothing.

They just show up.

And I was like, I just talked to y' all and told you.

And they.

And they were like, put your guns in your car.

You know, And I had four or five guns with me because I want to make sure everybody has a gun if we get in a shootout, you know, and so they.

So they end up showing up there.

They end up putting me in the back of a cop car, which is.

Which is fine.

I understand.

They wanted to separate the person, you know, from everybody else so that they don't influence the story, whatever it is.

Yeah, which one?

So, but I still had my phone on me.

And at that point, like, okay, before that point, my.

I called my wife and I was like, babe, I just smoked somebody at Zach's house.

Can you come down the road?

And because it was two miles away from my house, the same house that almost kicked homeboy off of the front steps of that same house.

So she gets there, and I see my son's pocket is like.

I'm like, gavin, what is in your pocket?

And he's like, you're Glock 42.

And I was like, dude, what are you doing?

And he's like, yeah, I don't know.

You're like.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

So then the cops get there.

I'm like, put it in mom's purse now.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Get to.

So I'm in the back of the cop car now with my phone, you know, texting my wife and whatnot.

She parks in the same exact spot as homeboy, who backed out.

And so when we're like.

It was right here.

Now they're all around the car with.

With flashlights.

And so I knew something was up because they shined it in my wife's back seat, and then they went back down, and they went back quick again to the window.

And I was like, babe, what the hell is in your back seat?

And she was like, I brought all your guns.

And I was like, oh, God.

I mean, at least a ride or die.

Oh.

100 showed up, ready to roll.

The detectives came, and they pulled out all of the guns and laid them all on the front porch or on the front little bluff there.

So I was like, the optics of this is.

Is horrible.

Like, yeah, I called y', all, but I shot, dude.

And they were like, your husband, obviously is an avid gun guy because he has a lot of, you know, polymer 80s, those ghost Glocks, you know?

Like, I have a ton of those.

Are those legal in Washington?

Is it all.

Not anymore.

Okay.

Yeah.

Liberals took over.

Yeah.

But because I was having those guns shipped to my house, the whole kit from polymer80.com.

They would come to my house, and I build them up, drill them, mill them, use them, you know?

So I'm in the back of the cop car now.

A little bit of backstory with this.

My stepmom had a pill problem her whole.

Her whole life.

Okay.

That I.

That I knew her, she ended up having a back problem or hip issue.

There was some sort of issue where she got prescribed oxycodone.

Okay.

She overdosed on the oxycodone and was incapacitated, fell into a coma.

So this is going on at the same time.

Okay.

So that's why my stepdad asked me to do this stuff is because they were dealing with her in the hospital.

She was unresponsive and she ended up.

Her everything just.

Just shut down.

She was in the icu.

I'm the power of attorney.

So the whipping boy that grew up with all this, these issues and abuse is now responsible for your life if you can't make a decision on your own.

So I'm.

I'm.

So she's in the ICU while all this is going on with me shooting dude and all that stuff.

And so I'm sitting with the detectives and I'm going through the whole.

The whole deal on their whiteboard.

I can still see it to this day.

I'm showing them.

Like, I was here.

Here's the car.

Here's where I was.

Here's where he was.

He backed out.

You'll find five rounds that are mine right here.

I don't know if he'll find his.

It could have been a revolver.

I have no idea.

And I was like, you know, once I hit him, you know, I made sure of all my surroundings.

I looked everywhere and made sure that there was nobody, you know, like I was.

I needed to be on target, you know, but I still had a right to defend myself.

Yeah.

And they were like, you really know your guns.

And I was like, yeah.

And they're like, and you are way better shot than him.

And I was like, yeah, but why you say that?

And they're like, well, because he died.

He's.

He was getting.

They couldn't pull the bullets out, you know.

And I'm like, those.

Them hollow tips, that's what'll happen, you know.

And so they were like, you, you really seem to know your guns and you really know the responsibility of having a gun.

And I was like, yeah, I'm a two time felon with my gun rights reinstated.

I have to know the law.

And they're like, but there was just something that you're not saying that we need to hear from you, but we can't tell you.

And I was like, what?

I was like, oh, I was afraid for my life because I was never afraid.

Like.

Like nobody really ever knows how gangster they are until they're in a gangster situation.

And.

And thank God something happened and I was able to spring into action and have no fear.

Like, I just acted and I.

And I stopped and I was cool, calm and collected.

And so they were like, okay, cool.

In the middle of that conversation, I get a call from the hospital.

And this is during COVID you know, this is 2020 or.

Yeah, 2021, something like that.

And they were like.

And they usually called me at like 11 o' clock in the morning every day and, or 7 in the morning every day, because they wanted to know, like, you know, my stepmom was innovated, you know, she was in icu, she was unresponsive, she couldn't talk anymore.

She was in a coma so much.

And the last video that we actually had, it was me and my wife and my son on an iPad, you know, in, in my office looking, you know, talking to her on an iPad, and she couldn't talk.

She was, she had a thing for tomatoes and salt and pepper.

And so like, she told a lady, like, salt and pepper, tomato.

And I was like, oh, my mom's hungry, because that's what she likes to eat.

And then she saw all of us and she looked right at me and then she said, I love you guys.

So at that point, when they talked me on the phone, they were like, if we call you again, you need to, you need to get to the hospital because if we call you, it's for something serious.

And so they called me like, my truck got impounded, you know, by the same police department.

You know, they.

They took my guns for nine months, hoping that I would let them claim them and sell them at a cop auction.

So like, I was dealing with that stuff and then I, I get the call at 7 o' clock in the morning and they're like, you need to get to the hospital.

And so I was like, okay, no.

So I get, So I get to the hospital, five people come in the room, one of them dressed like a preacher.

And I was like, I already know what y' all about to say.

Yeah.

Like, I was like, let me guess, y' all have done everything you can do, you know, and now you just want to give her morphine until she dies, you know, and in a nutshell, it was.

Yeah.

So I was like, well, they were like, we can intubate her again, but if, if we innovate her again and pull her off, she's going to live the rest of her life in a mental facility because all of her faculties are gone.

She already had the issue in the coma where she couldn't talk anymore.

So she was non verbal and she was just out her, you know, she had a blood disease because she smoked so much.

So like she was missing toes, she had a colostomy bag, she had black sores all over her mouth.

And she was just like, yeah.

So I was like, just make Her.

Make her comfortable.

And I was like.

And I'm calling my wife and my son.

I said, I don't give a.

About none of y' all, Covid.

Nothing.

My family's coming.

And so then they let him in.

You know, they let my family come in there.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

All three of them.

You know, me, my wife, and my son were in there.

And I've seen death.

Like, I've seen death, but it was always with, like, people that don't, like, matter to me for sure.

And so what made it hard was, like, when you're.

When you're sitting there and you're holding somebody's lifeless hand, you're watching on the screen in the.

You know, out in the hallway, and you know which room is hers.

And so you.

You see her breaths slow down, you see the pulse go down, you know, like, you know, death is coming.

And when it's somebody you care about, like, you're not.

Like, I'm not thinking of, like, all the abuse.

I'm not thinking of, like, her hating me and not want me there.

All I'm thinking about is she wanted me to be responsible for her life because through all the, you know, at least she saw the genuine, you know, nature of my.

My heart.

So I had to make the decision, pull her off.

I was.

It was.

It was tough because I just killed somebody the night before, and now this is the next day, and I'm having to pull my mom, you know, off of life support.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, it was.

It was.

It was one of the worst times of my life just because my son's addiction got outed.

You know, we kind of found out about that.

Senior year in high school for him, he, you know, left school and was doing MDMA and acid and all this other stuff.

So he.

So he left.

I was kind of getting attacked by my wife and my son because I wanted to have my stepmom's funeral thing at our house.

And she, like, at that point, rightfully so, it was.

My son was pitting my wife against me.

And so that kind of created a volatile environment where I was getting yelled at and chastised for wanting to have my stepmom's, you know, thing at the house.

And so it was just like, I'm just being attacked, you know?

So it's like, I gotta.

So I'm dealing.

So it's like.

So I get.

I get through it.

I get through all of it.

End up doing a, you know, funeral, getting her buried, handling all this stuff.

She Owned the house that she was in.

And so I had to deal with selling that, you know, and working through all that stuff.

And my sister didn't have a place to live, so I converted that rental, that, that house into a rental.

I. I made that part of the closing documents of the, you know, when the deal was done in escrow.

Like, my sister has to live here.

There's going to be a rent every month.

And so I paid rent for her.

And I was kind of working through all that.

My stepdad's living there, you know, and so I ended up buying him a car, like, because he had nowhere to get around because my mom's car got repossessed because, you know, she wasn't making payments anymore because she wasn't alive.

And so, so I got with nightmare, dude, it's.

It's not even done yet.

And so we, so we get through it.

We get through it.

We're working with my son, you know, like, we kicked him out, the mother in law came, picked him up, you know, around the corner against our wishes.

So kind of just violated our parenting and kind of caused a lot of tension.

And that tension lasted, you know, just literally up until like last year, essentially.

So my stepdad had leukemia, had a stent in his heart, was a terrible eater.

And so, and, and he, so he was up checking my nephew Junior, the same one who.

I got his stuff from the house and all that stuff.

He had diabetes, so he was getting.

He was up in the middle of the night four months later, checking his, his blood sugar levels in his blood, and he fell over and died like right there.

Like right four months after his wife died, after your stepmom.

So ex wife.

He got divorced, remarried, got separated from that lady, moved back in with.

That's why you were the power of attorney.

They were no longer together.

Yeah, and I was just the only one that had the wherewithal.

I was the only responsible one.

Okay.

Okay.

So.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

So he.

So.

And this kind of goes back to the beginning of, like, I was, I was so angry because he died and he, he was loved.

Like, I set up a huge event at this veterans bingo hall.

You know, we had.

I had it catered by one of his firefighter friends that had he, you know, huge.

You could fit a car in these smokers, they showed up the, they brought his truck that he used to drive, brought it to the bingo hall, raised the ladder up.

You know, we had music, you know, like, we did the color guard, you know, they had the bagpipes.

Like, I I set up everything.

Like, I set up everything.

And you know, while I was sad, I just sat back and I'm like, you people, like, have put me through hell up until your death.

You hated my guts, and now I'm responsible for everything.

Like, okay, God, I'm.

I am done with it.

And so we did it.

The ceremony was beautiful.

I mean, everything was like, it was just so beautiful.

And it just, it just really made me feel some kind of way because of the hundreds and hundreds of people that called and showed up and showed up in their uniforms.

And it's like y' all seeing the man in the uniform, and I'm seeing this piece of dad who was mentally and physically abusive, you know, like my whole life.

Yeah, my whole entire life.

And so that was a very, very tough moment at that, at that point, because it's like, what do I do now?

I just buried these two people that I love.

I hated them for dying the way they did, and they depended on me.

I had to go through all that still.

And now I'm dealing with my son with addiction issues, you know, because addiction runs deep on both sides, you know, the family, you know, there's.

There's addiction or drugs and stuff.

So that became a struggle, you know, and it's.

And that's been a struggle, you know, ever since.

It's been eight years since that happened.

You mentioned that you kicked your son out.

As a dad, I could never imagine getting to a point where I had to remove a kid, you know, kick a kiddo.

What's, what's that like, coming to that decision that you have to remove your son from the home?

It.

I thought it was going to be a short lived decision because I knew he couldn't rough it.

You know, like when I said, you can either go to treatment or you can leave, he chose to leave.

And I was like, that's fine.

We live in a nice neighborhood, you know, very expensive home.

Like, you're gonna be outside for a few days and then that's going to be your breaking point.

And so then you're like, you'll, you'll come back.

I had faith, you know, my son is a survivor like me.

So unbeknownst to us, my mother in law picked him up.

So your wife's mom?

Yeah, picked him up and let him live in her one bedroom apartment with her for a year.

So he went to grandma's house?

Yep, yep.

Out of her room.

Oh, I, I knew it.

At some, like, I ended up finding out.

And that's when I became Very resentful of her mom because I was like, she is not his mom.

And she's stepping in, you know, she's talking terrible about my wife, you know, saying that you're a terrible mom.

Brian's abusive, you know, I'm the big bad, mean guy, you know, to everybody.

And so it's like, here we go again.

I'm getting hated for that I didn't do.

I'm.

I'm getting, you know, mentally with.

For.

For reasons of, like, things that I didn't do.

So it's like, here we go again, same old, same old.

And so that, that caused a lot of tension for us because he, he basically, I think he pushed her out of her room.

So she was sleeping on her own couch.

Oh, hell no.

And she was allowing him to still do whatever he wanted to do.

And so.

So he's got no accountability, no nothing.

He's not learning anything.

Biggest safety net in life.

And I think that's been, you know, an unfortunate event.

But so.

So meanwhile, I'm at a senior level position at my company that I'm at.

I'm a senior security design engineer.

So I'm designing security systems for government entities.

Okay.

Such as the fire department.

So I, I design security systems for the whole entire fire department, all in the area that I live in, because that's where I start, like, where I.

Where I'm comfortable with.

My stepdad's a firefighter, my shoe in.

Now I'm selling stuff to the firefighters.

We get a phone call from.

From her mom saying Gavin is unresponsive in the bed.

And we're like, here's the call that we were waiting for.

So we get there, get to her house, and he's in the bed, unresponsive.

And I look around the room.

His teeth and lips are purple, and there's wine bottles everywhere.

So I'm like, this dude is drunk.

Like, we still.

We don't know because of what he did, but I can just assume.

So we call the fire department.

So this was another embarrassing moment because these same firefighters that showed up that had carried my son down three flights of stairs were the same ones that I was just with, you know, the picture perfect Brian.

It's solar security stuff.

We know this guy really good.

And now those same fire.

Fire department guy, you know, folks are carrying my son down to the hospital.

Was this terrifying.

I mean, finding your son unresponsive in a bed.

I mean, did you know it was drugs immediately?

I mean.

Oh, I. I knew it was drugs because that's that's when he got, when he got, when he got kicked out.

It was because I found MDMA in his room.

Okay.

What's mda MDMA look like?

It was a pill.

It was brown powder.

Okay.

And so I initially thought it was heroin.

Oh.

And so I looked at it and, and found out what it was.

And so then, you know, and this, like him and my wife caught me on camera because I have a ton of cameras at my house getting cocaine from one of my buddies in the garage, you know, because I. I knew where the cameras were at and I just was drunk or something.

And so like, they had caught me, you know, doing cocaine, you know, multiple times.

And your wife didn't really know at this point?

She.

She knew, but I think she was in survival mode too.

Okay.

You know, and it's like, okay, my husband's not hitting me.

You know, he's a little unreasonable at times, but he's an excellent provider, you know, and I know he loves me.

So I think she put up with a lot of stuff that, you know, essentially she shouldn't have, but thank God she did.

And so, like, my son has now been introduced to me having drug issues.

He knows about my family having drug issues.

He knows about my, you know, my mom, my brothers, everyone in my family has drug issues.

I mean, my crazy ass uncle got so high on methamphetamines that he tried to slap stop a table saw with his hand and it sliced his hand off and threw his fingers everywhere in the garage.

Like, so drug runs deep, like in my neck of the woods.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Of course.

Being a dad that obviously uses coke and you've had a problem with it for a long time, and is it hard to punish or correct your son, finding him doing drugs, meanwhile, you're doing drugs.

Yeah.

Did you ever.

Was there ever a conflict?

And I'm just asking.

Well, because it's very.

It's a very hypocritical view of me to be like, condemning.

And so, so what I did was, is where I framed it.

I was like, look, I can't tell you to stop doing drugs because I'm doing drugs.

But what I can tell you is that I do drugs and I don't let them control my life.

So I'm.

And he saw I'm a steady incline up.

I'm.

We're always moving to a nicer house, bigger house, at least.

So it's like, so.

So I was like, if you need to have control of it, okay.

But so I I never condemned him for drugs because it, it's extremely hypocritical to do that.

But I tried to explain to him the best way I could, you know, which was again, not, not very loving.

It was kind of, you know, I didn't really understand his point of view, his reasoning, because I'm like, I'm doing drugs and I'm doing all this stuff, providing all this stuff, like, you can do the same.

You're better than me.

And so it just didn't click to me that I wasn't, I wasn't showing love or, or being a loving father.

I was just being that black and white light switch on or off, like, you know, you can't be half pregnant, so it's like, you can fix this, so why don't you, like, you know, it's like it almost came to my mind, like, maybe at some point we can do drugs together, you know, like me and my mom did, you know, kind of a deal, you know, and, you know, it's like you can only put in what, you know, put out what's put into you.

And so that it was a very bad time for us then, you know, because, yeah, you have that hypocritical stance, but you're right, you know, you say a lot of good stuff, you know, but so did Bill Cosby, you know, so it's, it's tough.

Like, how do you say, don't do it while you're doing it?

That's why I ask.

I mean, in hindsight, do you, do you feel that you should have gone a different route with him instead of being like, hey, just be smart about it or whatever, or 100.

I. I should have not let him walk out the house, you know, in hindsight, like, I should have, I should have done what I'm doing now.

You know, being a loving father, being understanding.

You know, I'm 100 sober myself now.

I don't take anything mind altering.

And so I, like, I should have been an example.

And the thing is, is like, I knew exactly what to do.

I just didn't want to do it, you know, just like, sure, Paul said in the Bible, you know, the things that I know I should do, I don't do the things I shouldn't do.

I do, you know, and that's kind of what it is.

Like, do as I say, not as I do kind of a thing.

And that doesn't fly.

No.

You know, especially as they start to get older.

Yeah, they could read your, get smarter, you know, stuff like that.

And so he he used, he used the same, he has the same gifts as me, you know, and so he was in and out of treatment multiple times.

And he has very good skills with survivability and being able to pull wool over people's eyes, you know, just like me.

Okay.

And so it's kind of, it's been, it's been a battle since he was 15, you know, literally just today, yeah, Had a blow up.

And now we're looking at cleaning sober living for him, you know, because it's like, even so.

So it's something that I still deal with to this, to this day.

As a dad that has a kid that's, you know, using, he's got obviously a problem for people listening, like, what, what are some of the things that they can do?

I guess the reason I'm asking is because we, we have a guest.

I had a guest on recently, and man, he spent the better half of his life like hardcore just addict clean.

Helps out a lot of people now.

It doesn't cry.

It's completely changed his life around.

It's incredible.

But his mom always kind of enabled and always would be there to help and be there to support her son.

When you found out that.

I guess my question would be, when you found out that your son was using for the first time, whatever it may be, is there a different path you would have taken?

Or now that you've gone years of dealing with this and in and out of homes and whatever it may be, is there something people should.

I guess I don't know how to ask the question because there's really no right or wrong answer for this.

I guess being in all the scenarios and the situations that you've been with your son as an addict, what would you have done or if.

Is there anything you would have done differently in the beginning stages to try to like, nip it as soon as possible or.

Being on stuff myself, like, I, I had the tools, but I just wasn't wise enough to, to use them like I, the way that I responded.

You know, like you said, Hindsight's 20 20.

Like, yeah, I should have did stuff different.

I should have not let him go out that door.

I should have been loving, you know, and that's, and that's the thing is that when you, when, when you're an addict, your, your mind is not, you know, you're always in survivor mode.

You're trying to figure out how to get your next fix.

Meanwhile, you know, I'm trying to rationalize how to handle my son.

So it really wasn't even, like, I wasn't, I wasn't loving in my responses.

And so it's like, because I didn't, I didn't know how to love at that point, I don't think I cared about anybody.

You know, like, I had the facade of, you know, like, yeah, I got a family and my family cares for me and I care for my family, but deep down you, you really don't.

You care about your own stuff.

And so for sure, so it wasn't a surprise.

And so I, I just unfortunately handled it like, as it wasn't a surprise to me.

It's like, go figure.

Like, this is just par for the course.

Everybody in my family does drugs.

So how do we, how do we fix it?

Oh, we can't.

Okay, cool.

You got to get out.

You know, it's, it's, it's tough being, having a clouded mind and, and trying to make loving decisions, you know, you can't, can't do that, you know, and so it's hard.

Like you got to meet people where they're at.

You know, I've, I've said multiple times that takes an addict or an ex addict to help a current addict out of a circumstance or situation.

And so I feel like now, now I'm, I'm a better help.

Okay.

But you know, things are hard because he's still in it.

And it's, and it's now, it's now we're eight years later.

And so even though now I'm 100% sober, you know, I'm volunteering in a church.

We do church stuff four, four times a week.

Three, four times a week.

And you know, we try to be loving, you know, and we try to do all this loving stuff, but it's like sometimes it feels like it's too late.

Like I should have did this a long time ago, you know.

Okay, so that's a question.

Is it ever too late for your kids?

You know, in my prayers, I would say no.

But me and my carnal mind, what I see, that's, that's the fruit, like the fruit that I see that tells me whether the tree is grown or not.

And when I don't see fruit, you know, hey, I have faith in God, you know, a ton of it.

And I believe.

But in my own human brain, I'm like, this is never going to change because, because I know what it took for me.

42 year old man on his deathbed in the hospital.

That's what it took for me.

That was your rock bottom.

His rock bottom.

He hasn't hit yet because we've provided a safety net, you know, the whole time, whether it be his mom or, you know, his grandma or.

Or us, you know, So, I mean, every time he's left and come back, because it's been multiple times, you know, we've.

We've learned more and I've learned how to be better, you know, but now it's like, now at this last stage, like I'm the best version of myself that I've ever been.

And now it's like I just can't reach him.

That's got to be really frustrating, that.

Damn.

Yeah.

That's probably really rough.

Especially a lot of people's rock bottoms they don't come back from.

Yeah.

So is it just.

You feel like it's kind of just a waiting game now for him to hit his rock bottom or is you're hoping.

We're these homes, we're trying to get them involved in, you know, the church and the porch and things like that, you know, we're trying to really get them involved when we're trying to have faith.

You know, we got 100 people praying for him and.

For sure.

But what I.

What I learned through my own addiction is that a hundred people can want it for you and 100 people can pray for you.

Oh, yeah.

But you are the one that has to make a decision on what you do and don't do.

You know, like, do you want to get better?

Yes or no?

Okay.

If you do, are you willing to do things that you've never done before to get a result that you've never had before?

Because that's.

Isn't that the definition of insanity?

Doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting a different result?