[Theme Song]
Chelsey Donn:Hello
Trey Gerrald:Well, hello, Welcome to Review That Review!
Trey Gerrald:The podcast dedicated to reviewing
Chelsey Donn:reviews.
Chelsey Donn:We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we
Trey Gerrald:that's Chelsey Donn,
Chelsey Donn:And that's Trey Gerrald.
Trey Gerrald:and together we are.
VOICEOVER:The Review Queens!
Trey Gerrald:And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content,
Trey Gerrald:How's your week going?
Chelsey Donn:my week is going, I was a little bit under the weather.
Chelsey Donn:I'm just coming out of that.
Chelsey Donn:So that's an exciting new chapter, hopefully.
Chelsey Donn:How was your week?
Trey Gerrald:You know, I'm having a good week.
Trey Gerrald:I love, February and a Groundhog's day and all of that such, uh, also my dad's birthday is next.
Trey Gerrald:Yes, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was an interesting musical.
Trey Gerrald:Actually.
Trey Gerrald:I actually, David and I enjoyed Groundhog's day the musical, but a
Chelsey Donn:I actually asked my mom a couple of weeks ago, like, what's your favorite movie?
Chelsey Donn:And she said, groundhogs Day.
Trey Gerrald:Well, you can imagine in the musical, there's like a sequence where he like
Trey Gerrald:So that was like a very cool theatrical to see that onstage live over.
Trey Gerrald:And like back to back, it was like a magic show, but my week is good.
Trey Gerrald:My dad's birthday is
Chelsey Donn:the, I love the walking into the puddle part.
Chelsey Donn:Sorry.
Chelsey Donn:I love the puddle part.
Trey Gerrald:I don't know if that's in the musical.
Trey Gerrald:I've never seen the movie.
Chelsey Donn:You've never seen the movie.
Chelsey Donn:Get the hell out of here.
Chelsey Donn:You're getting
Trey Gerrald:no Bill Murray?
Chelsey Donn:Yep.
Chelsey Donn:Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell.
Chelsey Donn:That guy that's in Schitt's Creek.
Chelsey Donn:Rolling.
Chelsey Donn:Shit's
Trey Gerrald:Oh,
Chelsey Donn:rolling.
Trey Gerrald:what's that guy's
Chelsey Donn:his name.
Trey Gerrald:Use my strong.
Trey Gerrald:And do you know what that was?
Chelsey Donn:What wait.
Chelsey Donn:Oh, you, I don't know.
Chelsey Donn:Is that mean a scary movie?
Trey Gerrald:It might be the second.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:Scary movie tale when he has like the little, yeah.
Chelsey Donn:Anyway, it's like Groundhog's day here at Review That Review because once again, another
Chelsey Donn:We are going to.
VOICEOVER:Lodge A Complaint!
Trey Gerrald:All right.
Trey Gerrald:So this week I am going to lodge a complaint against something that I'm currently at this
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Trey Gerrald:I'm going to lodge a complaint against biting the inside of your mouth
Trey Gerrald:Yup.
Trey Gerrald:It's like, not even the lab, it's like the bottom of the lip.
Trey Gerrald:And so I feel like it's causing me to speak in a funny, different way.
Trey Gerrald:Cause I'm trying to not rub against it.
Trey Gerrald:I'm calling that into attention in case anyone is like, what's going on with trey's lisp today.
Trey Gerrald:But I really want to lodge a complaint against accidentally biting the inside of your mouth.
Trey Gerrald:And it's embarrassing, but it's usually what I'm really enjoying,
Chelsey Donn:no.
Trey Gerrald:Oh God.
Trey Gerrald:Anyway, it's very humiliating.
Trey Gerrald:It's very painful.
Trey Gerrald:Um, and then you have to suffer for a few days after assets recovering.
Trey Gerrald:And it's a constant reminder and people are like, are you, are you talking weird?
Trey Gerrald:And it's like, oh yeah.
Trey Gerrald:Because like, I bit myself, I'm a
Chelsey Donn:then, and then if you like bite it again, like you like reactivate the wound,
Trey Gerrald:Have you ever done that?
Chelsey Donn:Yes, I have.
Chelsey Donn:Course of course I have, I do have a little bit of a Trek that could
Chelsey Donn:I like, I mean, and I'm almost like nervous to say it on the podcast because I'm like,
Chelsey Donn:So that there's none left for me.
Chelsey Donn:But like I swear by a hydrogen peroxide mouthwash, like it is a game changer.
Chelsey Donn:And like, if you just rinse with that for a few days, couple times a day, it will heal
Chelsey Donn:So
Trey Gerrald:going to try that because that is what hydrogen peroxide was originally used as
Trey Gerrald:Cause it's so like chemical-y but all right.
Trey Gerrald:That's a good, I'm going to write that down.
Chelsey Donn:yeah.
Chelsey Donn:Write it down, write it down.
Chelsey Donn:Don't forget.
Trey Gerrald:So that's my complaint.
Trey Gerrald:Moving on
Trey Gerrald:Chelsey.
Trey Gerrald:What do you want to complain about?
Chelsey Donn:I can't remember if I complained about this in a rehearsal
Chelsey Donn:It still sounds.
Chelsey Donn:So I'm going to complain again with the whole idea of repetition hold music.
Chelsey Donn:I can't, I just can't do it.
Chelsey Donn:I want to know who's responsible for this.
Chelsey Donn:And I want to know why we haven't changed it.
Chelsey Donn:I actually appreciate when I call somewhere and they're like, the
Chelsey Donn:Do you want us to call you back in two hours?
Chelsey Donn:I actually liked that because I'm like, yeah, call me back.
Chelsey Donn:Because if you want me to arrive at a customer service person as my
Chelsey Donn:If I'm listening to.
Chelsey Donn:Repeat of some, like, I don't know, Beethoven Sonata, or just like a message.
Chelsey Donn:That's just like, thank you for calling.
Chelsey Donn:Some of them will be with you shortly.
Chelsey Donn:We really appreciate your patience as you hold.
Chelsey Donn:And then when you've heard that same exact message, like a hundred times,
Trey Gerrald:I agree there, the cyclical ness of the recordings, when that becomes transparent.
Trey Gerrald:That is excrutiatingly maddening.
Chelsey Donn:That's some form of hell, which is why the callback, we should just
Trey Gerrald:I wonder who invented that?
Trey Gerrald:That's such a genius.
Trey Gerrald:That should be a, My Royal Highness.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:Oh, true.
Chelsey Donn:Oh, always going to exercise that option, you know,
Trey Gerrald:Agreed.
Trey Gerrald:All right.
Trey Gerrald:Well, that was fun.
Trey Gerrald:So should we take all of this and jump into some online reviews?
Trey Gerrald:Chels
Chelsey Donn:Please as you know, we are your trustee Review!
Chelsey Donn:Queens.
Chelsey Donn:We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.
Trey Gerrald:we read you the Review!.
Trey Gerrald:We break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns.
Trey Gerrald:It is a very Regal process that.
VOICEOVER:Assess that kvetch
Trey Gerrald:And Chelsey girl, your first today,
Chelsey Donn:I am.
Trey Gerrald:woop, take it away.
Trey Gerrald:RQ.
VOICEOVER:Review That Review.
Chelsey Donn:All right.
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Chelsey Donn:So first off the bat, you guys, I just want to say that this is going to be a long one.
Chelsey Donn:So go ahead and buckle into whatever it is that you're sitting on, because Um, this Review!
Chelsey Donn:is an Amazon review for a product with one of the titles that infuriates me.
Chelsey Donn:So let's, let's, uh, get started.
Chelsey Donn:It is Key Finder, Esky 80 D B R F item locator with 131 feet working range wireless
VOICEOVER:Supercalifragilistic XB.
Chelsey Donn:Oh, yes.
Chelsey Donn:Yes, it is.
Chelsey Donn:It is one of those like, fob things that you put on your keys or whatever it is that
Chelsey Donn:It'll like ding for you or whatever.
Trey Gerrald:Got it.
Chelsey Donn:and that's what it is.
Chelsey Donn:So this Review!
Chelsey Donn:is actually a five star review.
Chelsey Donn:This is written by LisaInSeattle.
Chelsey Donn:It is a five star review verified purchase.
Trey Gerrald:that's the username, Lisa in
Trey Gerrald:Seattle.
Chelsey Donn:is the username.
Chelsey Donn:I feel a lot of Lisas on this show for some reason, Do we?
Chelsey Donn:"Oy Lisa."
Trey Gerrald:Hi, Lisa.
Trey Gerrald:Right.
Chelsey Donn:I, I leased that.
Chelsey Donn:Right.
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Chelsey Donn:So the title of this Review!
Chelsey Donn:is tortoise adventures.
Chelsey Donn:And then in parentheses, it says with poetry,
Trey Gerrald:What?,
Chelsey Donn:Get ready.
Chelsey Donn:There once was a tortoise, her friends call her Clyde.
Chelsey Donn:She likes to go wandering and then likes to hide.
Trey Gerrald:No.
Chelsey Donn:A remote little corner.
Chelsey Donn:A tortoise-size nook,
Chelsey Donn:maybe under the dresser or nestled with books.
Chelsey Donn:The darker, the better, a good place to snooze,
Chelsey Donn:all quiet and comfy is where she will choose.
Chelsey Donn:It's all well and good till it's time to come home.
Chelsey Donn:You think I could find her, but this time, heck no.
Chelsey Donn:Will she come when called?
Chelsey Donn:She's a tortoise, so no.
Chelsey Donn:Will she make any noise?
Chelsey Donn:She never has.
Chelsey Donn:It's the boys that tend to make noise and then under very special circumstances.
Chelsey Donn:Will she snooze for, well she's snooze for the better part of three or four days or more
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:So given the above, after a couple of cursory searches, did I then crawl around on my hands
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Chelsey Donn:Twice?!
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Chelsey Donn:The second time did I break out my professional grade knee pads?
Chelsey Donn:Because nobody over the age of 12 should be crawling around on hardwood floors.
Chelsey Donn:AKA, I'm too old for this crap.
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Chelsey Donn:Did I spend a restless night dreaming of turtle, gobbling house coyotes, and turtle size holes
Chelsey Donn:Yet she owes me big for that.
Chelsey Donn:The next morning, did I begin to methodically tear up my house?
Chelsey Donn:Moving every piece of furniture that she could conceivably hide behind looking in
Chelsey Donn:Why?
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Chelsey Donn:Yes I did.
Chelsey Donn:And thanks for asking.
Chelsey Donn:Did I drag out the vacuum cleaner because OMG, it's astonishing.
Chelsey Donn:How much dust accumulates under there?
Trey Gerrald:No.
Chelsey Donn:Sigh.
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Chelsey Donn:Halfway through.
Chelsey Donn:Did I enlist the assistance of a highly amused friend?
Chelsey Donn:Yes, highly amused.
Chelsey Donn:And did we find the errand tortoise five minutes later in the very next closet?
Chelsey Donn:Of course we did the same closet that I had looked in three times already, at least three times.
Chelsey Donn:Do I have any clue how she got in there?
Chelsey Donn:Because I don't remember that particular door being open at any point the day before.
Chelsey Donn:Nope.
Chelsey Donn:Still no idea.
Chelsey Donn:Do I absolutely love this product?
Chelsey Donn:Seriously?
Chelsey Donn:At this point, do you have to ask?
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Chelsey Donn:I highly recommend this product.
Chelsey Donn:Especially for anyone with a small house, roaming, tortoise.
PS:right...
PS:the actual Review!
PS:I like this product because it's small and light enough not to bother the tortoise.
PS:You can replace the battery.
PS:And there are four fobs in case she gets another friend or three.
PS:Her current friend has exactly two hiding places.
PS:And I know them both.
PS:I also liked that.
PS:Base oriented and not app oriented apps can get updated past the phones OS.
PS:Get deprecated or otherwise just go away.
PS:EG the company gets bought and tanked by a competitor.
PS:This thing worked day one and will work after the zombie apocalypse takes out the internets.
P P S:kiddies don't use anything permanent to attach no glue or
P P S:Your tortoise can definitely feel it, her shells a lot like your fingernail and
P P S:I use low adhesive masking tape, then stuck it to my sweatshirt once or twice for good measure.
P P S:Worked like a champ.
P P S:P P P S.
P P S:Her name is P P P P S.
P P S:Her name isn't really Clyde, but I'm claiming poetic license.
P P S:I am an Amazon reviewer, not the poet Laureate.
P P S:Oh man.
P P S:Yeah.
P P S:Yeah.
P P S:Trey.
P P S:I've never seen you speechless before.
Trey Gerrald:I am so repulsed.
Chelsey Donn:like she took all the words.
Chelsey Donn:You have none.
Chelsey Donn:Talk to me.
Trey Gerrald:First of all,
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Trey Gerrald:I actually really liked the name Clyde, especially for a female.
Trey Gerrald:I think that's like very cute.
Chelsey Donn:But LisaInSeattle was lying to us the whole time.
Trey Gerrald:What do you think its real name as like Michelle.
Chelsey Donn:Oh, God, there's so many weird things about this.
Chelsey Donn:Review!
Chelsey Donn:that's just like One, but take us in.
Trey Gerrald:Okay.
Trey Gerrald:So first of all, I can't even get over the fact that you would put a GPS tracker on a live animal.
Chelsey Donn:Oh, by the way, there's a photo of the tortoise with the tracker attached to it,
Chelsey Donn:And that's like the first that's the photo before the Pelham at, before the, I don't
Trey Gerrald:there are companies that make dog and cat callers
Chelsey Donn:Right?
Chelsey Donn:Sure.
Trey Gerrald:thing built on the collar that feels more humane than like using masking tape.
Trey Gerrald:Also question for spelling question though, the M P P S.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Trey Gerrald:Is it kitties or kiddies like kids.
Trey Gerrald:K I D D I E S
Chelsey Donn:Dee Dee Dee Dee,
Trey Gerrald:oh, I was so confused.
Trey Gerrald:I was like, why would you put sticky stuff on a cat?
Trey Gerrald:I thought we were talking about a tortoise
Chelsey Donn:No.
Chelsey Donn:Like she was like, at that point she was being, I was like teacher moment, like kids thinking
Chelsey Donn:Don't do this.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Trey Gerrald:you know, Lisa from Seattle,
Chelsey Donn:in Seattle, LisaInSeattle
Trey Gerrald:what I say.
Chelsey Donn:from
Trey Gerrald:Oh, wait, is it I N or just a capital N
Chelsey Donn:I N.
Trey Gerrald:oh, I actually have that written down.
Trey Gerrald:I don't know why I said from a, because I I'm thinking of sleepless in Seattle, but
Trey Gerrald:All right.
Trey Gerrald:I don't think that I need to ever know when I'm reading or review for a key fob GPS tracker,
Chelsey Donn:oh my God.
Chelsey Donn:Try.
Chelsey Donn:Like, that's just like one of the many things we learned in this Review!
Chelsey Donn:that are completely unnecessary.
Chelsey Donn:I mean, literally isolate PS and then Chuck, the rest
Trey Gerrald:That was going to be
Chelsey Donn:kill your darlings.
Chelsey Donn:LisaInSeattle.
Chelsey Donn:Ain't nobody got time for them.
Trey Gerrald:I mean, that really occurred to me.
Trey Gerrald:Like if you have to say quote, P S the actual Review!
Trey Gerrald:you're doing, you're reviewing wrong.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah, you're doing much,
Trey Gerrald:raw.
Trey Gerrald:It's too much.
Trey Gerrald:This is wrong.
Chelsey Donn:it's too much.
Chelsey Donn:It had potential to be funny.
Chelsey Donn:Like when I first read it, I was like, if we would've just done the like rhyme joke and
Chelsey Donn:it might've been like, oh, good for you, LisaInSeattle for trying to be creative.
Chelsey Donn:But because we went on and on.
Trey Gerrald:yeah, no, I agree.
Trey Gerrald:I think like they really lost the humor by going on too long.
Chelsey Donn:Too long what's with the rhetorical questions.
Trey Gerrald:So many also, I love that Lisa talks about the search for, for Clyde, who
Chelsey Donn:Oh, my God.
Chelsey Donn:So cursory.
Chelsey Donn:I know, but like you understand this is a five-star review.
Chelsey Donn:I don't usually bring these in, but when I saw this, I was just like, oh my God, how could I
Trey Gerrald:No, this is a great selection, you know, I will say, I think that so much
Trey Gerrald:And just to turn off because they think they're being more clever than they are.
Trey Gerrald:It's total cringe.
Chelsey Donn:so cringe the whole time and especially cause they kept
Chelsey Donn:And you're like, no, LisaInSeattle.
Chelsey Donn:I don't.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah
Trey Gerrald:But LisaInSeattle does in their first PS at the end, they
Trey Gerrald:I've never considered the value of a base versus an app that could eventually be
Trey Gerrald:I've never considered that.
Chelsey Donn:also like, you know, even the generation above us, it's like, then
Chelsey Donn:This is easy.
Chelsey Donn:That's why it's a shame.
Chelsey Donn:Cause it's like there there's a kernel of truth.
Chelsey Donn:Once we get to the review of it all.
Trey Gerrald:But I think you really lose your audience if you're not providing what the
Chelsey Donn:And also like how far down the PS trained?
Chelsey Donn:We feel like one can go, like, I don't think I've ever written a P P PS.
Chelsey Donn:I feel like if you're there again, edit
Trey Gerrald:Yeah.
Trey Gerrald:It feels like a note you would write, like in school to your
Chelsey Donn:like, yeah.
Chelsey Donn:Like it's very odd how old we think that Lisa is.
Trey Gerrald:That's an interesting question because that, I don't know.
Trey Gerrald:I kind of thought they were probably in their forties, but, but I also don't
Chelsey Donn:well, they do say like I'm too old for this crap,
Trey Gerrald:oh, you're right.
Chelsey Donn:they think of themselves as old.
Trey Gerrald:Yeah, I don't, I don't understand the intention of writing a poem.
Chelsey Donn:I just think this is someone who God has a lot of time on their hands.
Chelsey Donn:Maybe took a funny photo, texted it to their friend, Diane in Phoenix.
Chelsey Donn:And like Diane and Phoenix was like, oh my God, Lisa and Seattle, that's
Chelsey Donn:You should write a review about it.
Trey Gerrald:I feel like Lisa and Seattle tortoise is like their personality trait.
Trey Gerrald:I think they lead with that for.
Trey Gerrald:I don't think LisaInSeattle spends a lot of time looking in the eyes of the person that
Trey Gerrald:The value here, I think comes in the PS, but I'm annoyed that it's in the PS.
Trey Gerrald:I do think that I think LisaInSeattle is being truthful.
Trey Gerrald:Because I appreciate the salient points they make about the base versus the app.
Trey Gerrald:And that they, you know, we're able to actually like find their little one and
Trey Gerrald:I can't even tell it's like, what, who else is buying this for a pet?
Trey Gerrald:Like what you be buying this for your key chain or to put in your
Chelsey Donn:Well, what's interesting about that is like 2,249 people have marked this helpful.
Chelsey Donn:So this is the first Review!
Chelsey Donn:that you come across.
Chelsey Donn:If you go to this page and it's my hypothesis, that this is really just a
Chelsey Donn:that was selling the product saw in their own reviews that the top Review!
Chelsey Donn:is this tortoise story.
Chelsey Donn:They added Petfinder to the title.
Chelsey Donn:Just the hypothesis.
Trey Gerrald:Oh, was that in the supercalifragilistic
Chelsey Donn:It was, it was like towards the app, like it was like,
Chelsey Donn:Like if, if I could see that as a consumer of this product, I'm sure whoever's running this page.
Chelsey Donn:Looking at the backend knows that their top Review!
Chelsey Donn:is tortoise adventures with poetry, by Lisa, in Seattle and with a picture of
Chelsey Donn:And it has so many likes that it's probably like dragging up their ranking.
Chelsey Donn:So if you can't beat them, join them.
Chelsey Donn:And then they just added to the title.
Trey Gerrald:I mean,
Chelsey Donn:No,
Trey Gerrald:I, I am ready to crown this, but I want to ask you, cause we didn't
Chelsey Donn:I just think it's so funny.
Chelsey Donn:Cause you're like so annoyed by LisaInSeattle that you're like, I'm done.
Chelsey Donn:I don't want to talk about her anymore.
Chelsey Donn:Right now.
Chelsey Donn:I know
Trey Gerrald:What is the spelling and grammar?
Chelsey Donn:spelling and grammar is excellent.
Chelsey Donn:All very good.
Chelsey Donn:It looks like a very long essay.
Trey Gerrald:I get that.
Chelsey Donn:Like it's written, it's broken into paragraphs and stuff.
Trey Gerrald:Do you know how many paragraphs there are?
Chelsey Donn:Well, the, the, the poem is four stanzas.
Chelsey Donn:And then after the bomb, we have 16 paragraphs.
Trey Gerrald:That's 28 paragraphs in total, LisaInSeattle.
Trey Gerrald:I'm ready to crown you let's do it.
Trey Gerrald:All right.
Trey Gerrald:So Chelsey and I have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to
Chelsey Donn:Oy Lisa.
VOICEOVER:The Queens are Tabulating.
Chelsey Donn:Oh, interesting.
Chelsey Donn:Trey is holding up two and a half crowds for LisaInSeattle.
Chelsey Donn:We thought he was like, really not into, and I'm holding up one crown Trey.
Chelsey Donn:Why two and a half crowns for Lisa and yeah.
Trey Gerrald:Okay.
Trey Gerrald:I have to just put aside that I don't think that Lisa's humor as my humor
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Trey Gerrald:I can't negate the fact that Lisa did actually really sell the product to me
Trey Gerrald:Or it being like bad.
Trey Gerrald:It actually like is really great.
Trey Gerrald:I am not sure if like, this is animal abuse to like put this tracker on a torch,
Trey Gerrald:Very inappropriate.
Trey Gerrald:I don't know anything about tortoises, but I don't know.
Trey Gerrald:I just, I said two and a half because there is some valuable information.
Trey Gerrald:I appreciate Lisa, you know, not taking life too seriously and wanting to be clever and cute.
Trey Gerrald:But if you have a 20 paragraph Review!
Trey Gerrald:girl, you need to edit.
Trey Gerrald:You need to like, like you said, trim the fat, kill your darlings.
Trey Gerrald:Come on.
Trey Gerrald:Who do you think wants to sit and read?
Trey Gerrald:Uh, 20 paragraph.
Trey Gerrald:Anything if they're not reading reader's digest.
Trey Gerrald:So for that reason, I said two and a half.
Trey Gerrald:Oy, Lisa.
Trey Gerrald:All right, Chelsey, why did you say one crown?
Chelsey Donn:I was going to say, first of all, Oy LisaInSeattle, you know what I mean?
Chelsey Donn:I can't.
Chelsey Donn:I have to give Lisa and Seattle one crown, mostly because.
Chelsey Donn:I just don't think that they get their message across, right.
Chelsey Donn:Like if I feel like I need to go on a scavenger hunt within your review to find the Review!
Chelsey Donn:you've, you've lost me.
Chelsey Donn:And if you've lost me, then you're not adding value to the information
Chelsey Donn:I think I would feel.
Chelsey Donn:I'm going to skip this because I want to find a shorter Review!
Chelsey Donn:that's going to actually give me the nuts and bolts.
Chelsey Donn:You know what I mean?
Chelsey Donn:So I think it's going to end up getting glossed over because it's way, way, way too heavy.
Chelsey Donn:And because it, therefore is not useful as a product review, one crown for Lisa and yeah.
Trey Gerrald:Word
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:All right.
Chelsey Donn:That was a lot to chew on.
Chelsey Donn:So let's take a quick break.
Chelsey Donn:And when we come back, we can get into RQ T's Review!, which is we promise is a lot.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Trey Gerrald:BRB.
VOICEOVER:Hold your Crown!
VOICEOVER:We'll be right back.
Chelsey Donn:Wow.
Chelsey Donn:Meryl's crazy
Trey Gerrald:One-Star-Zinger time.
Trey Gerrald:All right.
Trey Gerrald:It's time to take a quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.
VOICEOVER:'I don't feel like an icon.
VOICEOVER:Most of the days, I feel like
Chelsey Donn:All right, Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger.
Chelsey Donn:And with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll each try to recite the zinger
Trey Gerrald:Just like queen Meryl Streep, who does it all.
Chelsey Donn:Before the clock runs out.
Chelsey Donn:Right?
Chelsey Donn:Try.
Chelsey Donn:Where is your One-Star-Zinger from today?
Trey Gerrald:All right.
Trey Gerrald:So it's an Amazon day and I am going second with reviews, but you will start to notice a theme
Trey Gerrald:And I have a on theme review for the after-show podcast as well.
Trey Gerrald:So here we go.
Trey Gerrald:My zinger today is written by.
Trey Gerrald:Kindle Customer.
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Trey Gerrald:And this, uh, is for Clorox concentrated, regular bleach
Trey Gerrald:And Kindle Customer.
Trey Gerrald:Wait, Kendall Customers a funny drag name.
Chelsey Donn:Kendall customer.
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Trey Gerrald:the subject is leaked and the Review!
Trey Gerrald:as package was wet.
Trey Gerrald:Bleach shouldn't leak.
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Chelsey Donn:Well, I can't, I mean, I agree, I guess, with Kendall.
Chelsey Donn:All right.
Chelsey Donn:Try today.
Chelsey Donn:You are stopped into, um, like one of those pink Himalayan, salt lamps.
Chelsey Donn:Very Zen.
Trey Gerrald:Great.
Trey Gerrald:I'm going to be warm and Himalayan and as usual, always salty
Chelsey Donn:All right.
Chelsey Donn:You ready?
Trey Gerrald:I'm ready.
Trey Gerrald:Let's do it.
Chelsey Donn:Well, we know .That.
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Chelsey Donn:Let's do it.
VOICEOVER:Three, Two, One, GO!.
Trey Gerrald:Package was wet.
Trey Gerrald:Bleach.
Trey Gerrald:Shouldn't leave.
Chelsey Donn:adult film,
Trey Gerrald:Ah, package was why like my pussy bleeds shouldn't leak.
Trey Gerrald:I believe short package was web lead.
Trey Gerrald:Shouldn't lay
Chelsey Donn:TLC reality show.
Trey Gerrald:Packers, wet blade shouldn't lake
Chelsey Donn:Magic show
Trey Gerrald:package was a wet bleach.
Chelsey Donn:dirty, read on the pornstar
Trey Gerrald:came out.
Trey Gerrald:All right, Chelsey, what is your One-Star-Zinger for today?
Chelsey Donn:Good question.
Chelsey Donn:Thanks for asking.
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Chelsey Donn:So my One-Star-Zinger, I was, you know, watching a lot of movies, cause
Chelsey Donn:And I watched this movie that is like a Diane Keaton B last, which is my favorite new genre.
Chelsey Donn:I've decided the movie Poms, have you seen.
Trey Gerrald:No.
Chelsey Donn:It's about like, like retired women that live in a like fully
Chelsey Donn:And they all have to be members of different clubs and Diane Keaton moves in and she
Chelsey Donn:So she like starts this elderly cheerleading squad.
Chelsey Donn:And it's actually like, in my opinion, quite.
Chelsey Donn:Endearing.
Chelsey Donn:And then I went to rotten tomatoes and saw OJ.
Chelsey Donn:It has a real low score.
Chelsey Donn:And obviously Johnny O of the New York post does not agree with my enjoyment of this movie
Chelsey Donn:So that was Johnny O's.
Chelsey Donn:I felt that was a real zinger, you know?
Trey Gerrald:All right.
Trey Gerrald:Well, in that case, Chelsey, I'm going to strap you into a Palm tree leaf
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Chelsey Donn:I might up there with my POM poms.
Trey Gerrald:I hope so you're conducting all the traffic from all the boaters.
Chelsey Donn:Whoo.
Chelsey Donn:This way, this way.
Trey Gerrald:Alright.
Trey Gerrald:Are you ready?
Chelsey Donn:I'm ready.
VOICEOVER:Three, Two, One, GO!.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah,
Trey Gerrald:show
Chelsey Donn:palms is an embarrassment.
Trey Gerrald:courtroom drama.
Chelsey Donn:Palms is an embarrassment.
Trey Gerrald:televangelist
Chelsey Donn:Poems has an embarrassment.
Trey Gerrald:Hora.
Chelsey Donn:do
Trey Gerrald:That was six.
Trey Gerrald:Steva you?
Trey Gerrald:Wait, we tied.
Chelsey Donn:Yay.
Trey Gerrald:Woo.
Trey Gerrald:Woo.
Trey Gerrald:Woo.
VOICEOVER:Review That Review.
Chelsey Donn:All right.
Chelsey Donn:We are back from that rousing game break.
Chelsey Donn:And it is your turn.
Chelsey Donn:Trey.
Chelsey Donn:Where is your Review!
Chelsey Donn:from this week?
Trey Gerrald:Okay.
Trey Gerrald:So today I also have a review from Amazon.
Trey Gerrald:This is written by Angie R.
Trey Gerrald:And this is a one star review for manic panic, flash lightning hair, bleach kit, 30 volume.
Trey Gerrald:And I can not read Angie R's subject because it gives it away.
Trey Gerrald:But I'll tell you, after I read the Review!.
Chelsey Donn:Perfect.
Chelsey Donn:And I have a quick question before.
Chelsey Donn:So is the bleach like Bleacher hair, like white or is it a specific color?
Trey Gerrald:Yeah.
Trey Gerrald:It's like, um, it's white bleach.
Trey Gerrald:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:hear it.
Trey Gerrald:All right.
Trey Gerrald:Here is the Review!
Trey Gerrald:Tish and Snooki.
Trey Gerrald:My wife recently purchased your product manic panic flashlighting over Amazon.
Trey Gerrald:With the quarantine situation.
Trey Gerrald:She has not been able to visit her hairdresser and get her hair dyed Her solution was to order your
Trey Gerrald:We received your product yesterday afternoon and she went to use it this morning.
Trey Gerrald:My wife has lots of experience using different hair dye products.
Trey Gerrald:So she knows what she is doing.
Trey Gerrald:After seeing the finished product.
Trey Gerrald:I think Tish and Snooki should be ashamed of themselves.
Trey Gerrald:And I would recommend no one buying this product.
Trey Gerrald:My wife looks like a female version of Joe Exotic.
Chelsey Donn:Oh, no.
Trey Gerrald:Every time she comes into the room, I expect her to be followed by lions and tigers.
Trey Gerrald:Now she is going to have to replace her whole wardrobe with 1980s leather jackets
Chelsey Donn:Oh, God,
Trey Gerrald:I usually don't leave product reviews, but with how bad this product
Trey Gerrald:I have to go now, Mrs.
Trey Gerrald:Exotic is calling my name.
Trey Gerrald:dot dot dot dot dot dot dot.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah,
Trey Gerrald:So the subject ais this product turned my wife into a female Joe Exotic.
Chelsey Donn:I figured,
Trey Gerrald:So I'm unsure if Angie R is the wife's account and this is written by a male,
Chelsey Donn:oh,
Trey Gerrald:Angie has a wife.
Trey Gerrald:I just want to say, I'm not sure what genders here, but, uh, all we know is
Chelsey Donn:Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Chelsey Donn:Either way.
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Chelsey Donn:Correct.
Chelsey Donn:Which is, which was kind of going to bring me to my first point, which is why does the wife
Chelsey Donn:To leave a review on their behalf.
Chelsey Donn:Like all of a sudden they dyed their hair and they also went back to a time when they needed
Chelsey Donn:Like, why is Angie R going to bat on behalf of the wife?
Trey Gerrald:Yeah, anytime I Review!
Trey Gerrald:is like second hand.
Trey Gerrald:It's like, it's always a little bit of a head-scratcher cause it's always like second
Chelsey Donn:I guess, but I just feel like, it sounds like they were
Chelsey Donn:I wonder.
Chelsey Donn:How the wife feels about the way that they look.
Chelsey Donn:Is it like that the wife is so disturbed by her new look or is it that the wife went
Chelsey Donn:Should we.
Chelsey Donn:Their partner,
Trey Gerrald:other.
Chelsey Donn:their significant other, their significant other was clearly repulsed by how they
Chelsey Donn:is like you made my wife look unattractive to me, which I feel like is off-putting
Trey Gerrald:I mean, that is a really interesting perspective within this Review!
Trey Gerrald:because we don't get what the actual user of the product thinks of this.
Trey Gerrald:And we are told that the wife has a lot of experience with hair dye.
Chelsey Donn:Exactly
Trey Gerrald:It really is like the, the significant other's opinion.
Trey Gerrald:I want to know what Mrs.
Trey Gerrald:Exotic, who's calling Angie at the end.
Trey Gerrald:I want to know what Mrs.
Trey Gerrald:Exotic things.
Chelsey Donn:I agree.
Trey Gerrald:Okay.
Trey Gerrald:Also, I don't know, maybe this is deducible, but it is written sort of in a letter form.
Trey Gerrald:So they're addressing Tish and Snooki and upon doing some research Tisch and Snooki
Chelsey Donn:Yes.
Chelsey Donn:I'm so glad you brought that up.
Chelsey Donn:Cause I had started that on my sheet and I forgot to ask.
Chelsey Donn:So like they're writing a letter on Amazon.
Chelsey Donn:Which probably is fulfilled by, I would guess a second hand source again, Trustpilot verse Amazon.
Chelsey Donn:Right.
Chelsey Donn:And you're addressing the creators of the product weird to
Trey Gerrald:Yeah, it is interesting to say like, my wife recently purchased
Trey Gerrald:You're writing that on him.
Chelsey Donn:right?
Chelsey Donn:Exactly.
Trey Gerrald:But who knows, maybe Angie R covered all their bases
Trey Gerrald:And also is just putting this on here because ultimately they say, we just want, I
Trey Gerrald:Also 897 people found this helpful.
Trey Gerrald:So what do you think of the humor here?
Trey Gerrald:Because I do think that Angie R is just being very trendy with Tiger King and,
Chelsey Donn:When was this written?
Trey Gerrald:March, 2020, so right when that documentary was very
Trey Gerrald:popular on Netflix,
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:I think that Angie really leaned in.
Chelsey Donn:So the tiger king in a way that, like, I don't know if, if this, if I was reading this in March,
Chelsey Donn:And it just feels like you're really leaning into it.
Chelsey Donn:And because like, truthfully, I just get that kind of like gross feeling in my stomach.
Chelsey Donn:That's like, why are you putting your wife on blast and saying, she looks like Ms.
Chelsey Donn:Exotic, and that she needs to change her whole wardrobe.
Chelsey Donn:Like, it just feels very mean.
Chelsey Donn:And I don't like it.
Trey Gerrald:That is, that's an interesting point of view on it.
Trey Gerrald:Didn't even occur to me that way, but I totally hear that.
Trey Gerrald:It's just it's.
Trey Gerrald:It is highlighting to me.
Trey Gerrald:That the joke hasn't aged well, because I think it's, I think the most clever joke is
Trey Gerrald:Like nearly two years later.
Trey Gerrald:That's insane to think about.
Chelsey Donn:I know
Trey Gerrald:But like once again, like the experience here is as common or a fluke.
Trey Gerrald:I mean, I don't know because it's the, it's the significant others, uh, opinion.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Trey Gerrald:Also, if you're getting flash white hair dye, you want it to be like extreme.
Trey Gerrald:That's not like
Chelsey Donn:well, that's why I'm like, I'm trying to think of like, is Joe,
Chelsey Donn:Like doesn't Joe exotic have bleached blonde hair.
Chelsey Donn:Like, again, I
Trey Gerrald:So look
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:But Joe exotic has like a mullet.
Chelsey Donn:So like, you know, It's a bleach blonde mullet.
Chelsey Donn:Like that's it looking at the color of his hair?
Chelsey Donn:That's why I asked when you first intro the product.
Chelsey Donn:I said, is this going to like bleach your hair to make it white?
Chelsey Donn:Or is this a color?
Chelsey Donn:Because also sometimes these kinds of products that are like Bleacher hair until they're
Chelsey Donn:Look, oftentimes it's like a do this and then add the pink on.
Chelsey Donn:Right.
Chelsey Donn:Bleach it down and then add the color.
Chelsey Donn:You know what I
Trey Gerrald:have to, you have to like erase all of the, uh, color that exists in
Trey Gerrald:Yeah,
Chelsey Donn:Right.
Chelsey Donn:So I think either if I was buying this product, it's because I want that bleach blonde hair
Chelsey Donn:So I don't see the value here.
Trey Gerrald:That's really like really standing out to me as well,
Trey Gerrald:It's kind of Angie Rs, one star Review!
Trey Gerrald:kind of as proving that it is an extreme
Chelsey Donn:Right.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:That's what it is.
Trey Gerrald:Right.
Trey Gerrald:Cause I also think that manic panic is that grungy sort of downtown New York, punk rock energy.
Trey Gerrald:But I just think that like, if I want extreme bleach, I would go with manic panic.
Trey Gerrald:I wouldn't go with L'Oreal.
Chelsey Donn:I agree.
Chelsey Donn:Totally.
Trey Gerrald:I mean, I think I could crown this.
Trey Gerrald:How are you
Chelsey Donn:I can crown.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah, I'm ready.
VOICEOVER:The Queens are Tabulating.
Chelsey Donn:Wow.
Chelsey Donn:Again, I am holding up one crown trays holding up three crowns.
Chelsey Donn:One crown very similar reason to the first Review!
Chelsey Donn:like I've gone through all this hoopla and I don't feel like I have a
Chelsey Donn:I don't have any kind of opinion that I trust.
Chelsey Donn:So that really pretty much goes into the trash bin.
Chelsey Donn:So that's why I gave it one crown.
Chelsey Donn:Why did you give Angie three?
Trey Gerrald:It's just interesting because I do think, like I just said
Trey Gerrald:They're trying to not prove.
Trey Gerrald:So there is some value here because it does make me think, okay, this
Trey Gerrald:If you want, believe bleach, use this product.
Trey Gerrald:I think that they really lose points for me because it's.
Trey Gerrald:It's a very like time-specific joke and it's sort of like unnecessary, like
Trey Gerrald:But then again, the subject did cause me to want to read it.
Trey Gerrald:So I said three, which is not exactly middle of the road.
Trey Gerrald:Cause we have half crowns, but like, I don't think it's, in my opinion, not a one and it's
Trey Gerrald:So that's why I said three.
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Chelsey Donn:Fair enough.
Chelsey Donn:I hear you.
Chelsey Donn:And I mean, it was a One, crown kind of diet.
Chelsey Donn:I don't ever think I've had an episode where I just was straight across the board.
Chelsey Donn:One crown.
Trey Gerrald:you're joining the dark side.
Chelsey Donn:I guess I am!
Chelsey Donn:Alright.
Chelsey Donn:My queen, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show.
Chelsey Donn:Who are you?
Chelsey Donn:Inducting Trey for?
VOICEOVER:My
VOICEOVER:Royal
VOICEOVER:Highness
Trey Gerrald:Today.
Trey Gerrald:I want to induct whoever working at apple came up with the idea that you
Trey Gerrald:Specifically, my husband and I have a shared note.
Trey Gerrald:Which is like an app on the iPhone that we can both update with the little bullet holes that
Trey Gerrald:really has changed the game.
Trey Gerrald:And we don't have to worry about texting or like, oh wait, I forgot to put bananas.
Trey Gerrald:Like I can just see it update automatically.
Trey Gerrald:And we can both look at our lists individually and address what needs
Trey Gerrald:It really is lovely and genius also, you know, sort of like a, a short form version of Google
Trey Gerrald:It really is amazing, especially as a shopping list.
Trey Gerrald:So for that reason, Today I have to induct the sharing of notes, possibility
Chelsey Donn:Love that possibility for you?
Trey Gerrald:What about you Chelsey?
Chelsey Donn:Who am I inducting today?
Chelsey Donn:Trey?
Chelsey Donn:Well, today I wanted to turn a kvetch into a Royal Highness is what I wanted to do.
Chelsey Donn:So I mentioned I was feeling a little bit under the weather.
Chelsey Donn:And so when that happens for me, I tend to pile up the laundry.
Chelsey Donn:And so when I finally did the laundry, it was like, just took everything out of me.
Chelsey Donn:And then I have the laundry in the laundry bags, and they're still
Chelsey Donn:And I'm just sort of looking at them with distain thinking.
Chelsey Donn:I have to fold that, you know, and it feels really like, ah, like such a mountain to climb.
Chelsey Donn:And then in the moment, when I was thinking about that, I thought to myself, Wow.
Chelsey Donn:talk about first world problems like the washing machine.
Chelsey Donn:Can we induct the washing machine as My Royal Highness?
Chelsey Donn:Because can you imagine if I needed to do like all this washing by hand or with a stone or with One,?
Chelsey Donn:Boards or in a Creek?
Chelsey Donn:I mean, my goodness, like I'm complaining cause I have to fold my clothes and I have one of
Chelsey Donn:Like I, I have all of the accoutrement, right.
Chelsey Donn:And I just don't even know what I would do if I didn't have a washing machine
Chelsey Donn:And for that reason, I would like to induct today, the washing machine as My Royal Highness.
Chelsey Donn:And I don't have any history for you, but.
Chelsey Donn:I love you.
Chelsey Donn:Thank you.
Chelsey Donn:Washing machine you're , My Royal Highness.
Trey Gerrald:I love that I made it so true.
Chelsey Donn:Yeah.
Chelsey Donn:Love turning a kvetch into a Royal Highness, you know?
Trey Gerrald:I definitely think that like most people can adapt to just continuing to wash
Trey Gerrald:But I do think that a washing machine is, is sort of like that's a, you have to.
Trey Gerrald:Well, we did it queen that is another round on the RU a RQ Ferris wheel
Chelsey Donn:Uh, yes.
Chelsey Donn:Thank you for joining us today.
Chelsey Donn:If you like, what you heard, please tell a friend really means a lot to us.
Chelsey Donn:If you do share it.
Trey Gerrald:If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy
Trey Gerrald:Join our mailing list to stay up to date with the goings on, in the queendom at ReviewThatReview.Com
Chelsey Donn:You can also hit up our voicemail box 1-850-REVIEW-0.
Chelsey Donn:And remember, we're still standing by.
Chelsey Donn:We want to hear what are your, you know, resolutions now?
Chelsey Donn:We're like a little bit in here.
Chelsey Donn:How's it going?
Chelsey Donn:How you doing?
Chelsey Donn:Okay.
Chelsey Donn:Or slide into our DMS.
Chelsey Donn:You can follow us on all the socials at @TheReviewQueens.
Chelsey Donn:I'm at @ChelseyBD.
Trey Gerrald:And I'm at @TreyGerrald.
Trey Gerrald:Okay.
Trey Gerrald:Everyone on today's after show podcast, which we were recording seconds.
Trey Gerrald:After this main episode ends, we are going to be rating and reviewing a one
Chelsey Donn:Bleach again.
Chelsey Donn:Oh my God.
Chelsey Donn:I can't.
Trey Gerrald:So, to find out what made Chelsey say...
Chelsey Donn:'Now am I a prude, or is starfish a recognizable term
Trey Gerrald:'Oh, it looks like my anus is wearing lipstick.'
Chelsey Donn:Then join our patreon at www.Patreon.com/ReviewThatReview in order to
Trey Gerrald:And remember.
Chelsey Donn:Ignore the haters.
Chelsey Donn:You're a queen.
Trey Gerrald:Gender non-specific queen just like Angie RS, significant other.
Chelsey Donn:Yes,
Trey Gerrald:that's not right.
Trey Gerrald:Just like, just like, and gr okay.
Trey Gerrald:Just I'm saying this over again.
Trey Gerrald:Gender non-specific queen
Chelsey Donn:Of course.
Chelsey Donn:Bye!
Trey Gerrald:Bye.
Trey Gerrald:Toodaloo.
Trey Gerrald:Review That Review is an independent podcast!
Trey Gerrald:Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.
Trey Gerrald:Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by
Trey Gerrald:Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe