[Kristi] (0:01 - 0:15)

Listen, I'm a petty bitch too, so like But okay better advice than be petty better advice because in my ripe old age, I cannot be petty at this age I was petty in my 20s. I was petty in my 30s.

[Stino] (0:15 - 0:18)

It's foul. It's pettiness. Let's be honest You could be bitter.

[Kristi] (0:18 - 0:47)

You could be mad. You could be sad. I guess what we want to say here is first Your feelings are valid You Know that was the way okay.

Welcome back to the channel. You've got your Dillon keeps it in here.

[Stino] (0:48 - 0:51)

This makes these episodes fun. We're true to ourselves.

[Kristi] (0:51 - 1:09)

Okay. Well, welcome back to the customer success hotline You've got your favorite customer success personalities Here to answer all of your customer success questions and so, you know, we have a this is not a customer success related question I'm gonna say that this is like a How do you navigate kind of question?

[Stino] (1:09 - 1:50)

I think this is a very personal question as well like personal in a way like it's for me You know submitted the question and he wants my advice on how to navigate this No, but it's more like I think it happens throughout every profession. I think everywhere not even inside So I really love this question and it's basically anonymous person and I can't I can't complain that they want to be anonymous Because of the question but they're asking like what would you do if you're helping a co-worker out so much? That are winning but they're running away or they're claiming the win all by themselves Like how would you react first instinct patty bitch?

You would unlock Patty Steno?

[Kristi] (1:51 - 2:06)

Like free like I like Petty's, you know, though, I feel like I'm here for that It'd be fun to watch. I mean, I don't want you to be petty with me But like let me just sit next to you and watch I'm gonna watch it unfold Well, not gonna happen, but I would be petty in all honesty.

[Stino] (2:07 - 2:10)

I Would be petty first instinct patty this

[Kristi] (2:12 - 3:03)

Advice, you know, we're gonna tell people do something better than be petty So you've got somebody who basically you and your colleague let's just say you're at the exact same level you're in the same role same spot This person lacks experience and knowledge around a certain area They come to you seeking advice and guidance and you teach them you make them You bring them to your level all of a sudden they take what they've learned from you They amplify that and then they get the win the win in this case could be a promotion It could be a raise it could be a new opportunity. It could just be accolades Right, it could be any of those things. So what do you do in that case?

Listen, I'm a I'm a petty bitch, too So like me But okay, but better advice than be petty better advice because in my ripe old age, I cannot be petty at this age I was petty in my 20s. I was petty in my 30s.

[Stino] (3:03 - 3:07)

It's foul. It's pattyness. Let's be honest You could be bitter.

[Kristi] (3:07 - 5:02)

You could be mad. You could be sad I guess what we want to say here is first your feelings are valid that's what we want to say grown-up way to say it is okay to feel a certain way if somebody has taken your IP and The things that you have your experiences your learnings and taken it and ran with it. It can feel Frustrating right because they will but let's actually offer some good sound advice The first thing that I would do here is have a conversation like here's the thing I feel like sometimes when we hold on to these things and we don't have a conversation We are hurting nobody but ourselves because we are festering we are getting mad.

It's gonna translate into our work our Collaboration. I mean, I think there's only Downside if something like this transpires between you and a colleague or co-worker or friend even if you're not communicating It is important for you to be able to say hey, here is how I feel Here here is what that did to me. This is what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling So I'm gonna say the first thing is broker some communication like let's all put on our big girl big boy pants and like Have a dialogue make it about how you feel because that is what is happening right now.

You're feeling a certain way So own your feelings Yes, try not to be emotional Which is hard for Stino But try to have a productive conversation that just says listen You came to me seeking some advice some guidance and I was happy. I was happy to offer you some support However, I feel like you took what I did and you claimed it as your own and I'm not saying that you can't leverage what I shared with you, but where was the Acknowledgement of how I helped or you know what because I feel like that's sometimes where it comes from, right? You want the acknowledgement you want to know that these ideas and these insights were valid and they were good and they were valuable Yeah, and that is what helped you.

So I mean my first thing is have a conversation. What do you think?

[Stino] (5:02 - 6:06)

I also think it's it's an ego thing, right? Like we all love to get validation and especially if the advice that we've given Turns out to be right or it turns out to be meaningful Yeah, 100% of course, but that being said a conversation Textbook definition, but I do believe that it only is helpful if you're strong enough Yourself and if you're brave enough to have that conversation and I do think that it comes wisdom comes with the years Of course, and I do get it when you started with like in my 20s. I was fighting my 30s I was fighting at my 40s I was just like I got you done and I do think that is that learning curve where you're like I should have started the conversation because on the other hand, maybe that person didn't mean it that way Maybe they simply forgot or they were just too enthusiastic about results that they booked They were like, hey, these are the results and the team started to congratulate them And it was like a little bit after the fact to give them credit, right? Give them also the opportunity to rectify it if you have that conversation

[Kristi] (6:07 - 6:29)

But then again, assume good intentions assume good intentions is what you're trying to say here Like let's go into this and say their intention wasn't to take your advice and run with it and claim it as their own We want to assume good Intentions No, let's know we're not trying we are doing there is no try so all my people in the 2030s

[Stino] (6:30 - 6:31)

Be pat.

[Kristi] (6:31 - 7:36)

Listen, I I get it. It is hard for me in my 40s, but Cuz I want to be the petty bitch. I was in my 20s because she was fun But she's fun.

Listen, but like go in there and assume good intentions and say listen, I'm sure I am confident It wasn't your intention to take what I shared with you and claim it as your own I'm sure that was in your attention, but that is what happened. And here's how it's making me feel And create a safe space for the person you're talking to doesn't feel attacked Because you don't want to put them on the defense if you want to have a productive conversation There has to be a safe place for an open dialogue that communication has to feel safe and comfortable for both of you So figure out how do I open up this conversation without them feeling attacked without them saying they have to be on the defense Be clear on what your outcome is because are you expecting there to be like, you know what actually I don't deserve this promotion It was actually Mary Mary is a smart one because that ain't gonna happen. So like let's figure out what is the objective?

What do you want to accomplish? Because if you don't have an outcome if there isn't something you're working towards then just fester. It'll go away I guess but At least have a clear reason like what do you want to accomplish here?

[Stino] (7:37 - 8:59)

but that's the thing also if you see that like don't act on your impulses because that Enforces the pettiness inside of you Just take a step back and take a breather For a second and again that really helps to put things in perspective because I do get it it's an ego question in the moment that we have feeling that our ego is getting in danger or it gets like a little bit of Bump or like an elbow into the ego That's completely normal But also think about the times that you maybe didn't do it with another colleague, right? like we often are so quick to share results or to be like Hey, this is what we've done or this is what I have done for the people that are running with the winds Don't ever say I did something Well, if you are 100% sure that you're the only one that has been working on it Sure, but at the end of the day and especially and I'm linking it a bit back to customer success You are working in a team.

You are working with the same customers with the same product and in that sense You're building the strategy Together don't say that I invented something or I booked this result. It's like Me and the team sat together decided on a strategy and this is how we get the expansion numbers It's a we Story.

[Kristi] (8:59 - 10:07)

Okay, so I'm gonna challenge you a little bit there because I am here for the we But when you only use the we it's not clear who did what so for me I'm like we had a win Here is what each of us did product built this thing They got the feedback Mary did this other thing, right? Like I think the we is great for collaboration Yeah, but we do want to own the impact, right? Person or each team contributed in some way to drive that reality.

So I think that there is a we Global we there is like the we the high-level we but then call out or acknowledge the individual work that's done because I feel like What happens is it becomes more difficult for us to acknowledge our impact and I am very big again at this ripe old age I'm just trying to understand what is the impact that I drive right because I do Contribute but when we're always in the we we forget what that impact is So yes collaborative like we had this win, but talk about what each of us did to get there

[Stino] (10:07 - 10:22)

No, 100% I also do like I always say I couldn't do this because this one and this one did this and book test results So in that sense, yeah 100% don't indeed be just like we because otherwise it's like you and your 20 personalities

[Kristi] (10:27 - 10:32)

We are epic in my head We're

[Stino] (10:34 - 10:39)

All sitting in my brain staying around the campfire and be like kumbaya bitch we did that

[Kristi] (10:39 - 11:03)

Okay, so let me flip this. Would you go to let's just say in this scenario because let's get real Would you Subscribe this happened to you. You told me all of your wonderful ideas.

I took your ideas I ran with them and I got promoted. Would you go to the boss and be like hey Bob but like that was me. Yeah, that was the work that I did.

Would you go to the boss?

[Stino] (11:04 - 11:56)

No Because that's the thing though. I'm The rational answer would be yes, and I can't lie like that wouldn't be me as of the person of today I would be the one paddy gossiping like everyone else knew except higher management, but everyone will know and He will know Bob will know but not for me directly Okay, because it's the pride in me it's me It's an ego thing again. I want someone to ask me like hey, wasn't that you and be like that pride to be like It was me.

It was like it's also a karma thing I believe if you put good into the world good will come back to you if you put bad into the world You put bad and you got it bad back. So in that sense, I'm like I Can't help myself I'm the wrong person to ask advice because I'm like light up the torch and burn the village down kind of person

[Kristi] (11:56 - 12:55)

I'm not going to Bob either But I wonder if the conversation with Bob isn't to take the credit from the person But rather to say hey Bob I've been doing X Y & Z So now you're talking about your work and say I am interested in figuring out how to advance my career or I'm figuring out How do I get the raise or I would love Credit or visibility around X that I'm doing. So obviously this person over here They're just not doing enough to be visible and to ask for what they want and to put themselves out there. So maybe this isn't about Taking anything away from anyone but rather saying how do I elevate myself?

So then in the future these opportunities are mine or the accolade is mine or the money is mine That's probably the bigger thing here. It isn't that Bob got the recognition It was that I didn't Right, so it's not about somebody else getting something but you not getting something. How do you figure out?

How do you get it next time?

[Stino] (12:56 - 12:59)

Well be the first Be petty and be like, oh

[Kristi] (12:59 - 13:07)

You know, like we can't keep putting this pettiness out in the universe you need to offer big boy advice

[Stino] (13:07 - 14:10)

Let's go big boy advice if you feel very emotional write it down first yourself But don't send it write it out of your system leave it come back to it See it and then we work it into the way to that You have a healthy conversation like the tips and tricks that Kristi gave earlier if you don't want to have that conversation What really helps me is to indeed get it out of your system But it doesn't mean that needs to go to that person Write it out to your system until you're content that you're not sitting with it anymore Leave it return back to it and see how you feel because 90% of the times it's just the matter that you want to like blurred it out But choose the platform wisely to who just do it to yourself do it to your partner has nothing to do at work I'll stand for advice but like writing it out for me it's Proven to be the best and calming way because if you don't reread that you would be like oof I would have read that bitch to filth

[Kristi] (14:14 - 15:00)

Okay, listen, I think we've exhausted this topic. Let's start there. Why are you so upset?

What do you wish the outcome would be is it because you wish that you were the one who got the things if so Go chase that go have the conversation with your boss Make sure that you're amplifying your story Figure out what it is that you have to show what you have to demonstrate that is on you that has nothing to do with Person that you shared those ideas with and they chased what they were after you didn't do it It's okay that they got the win It's okay that they got the money if you're upset that you didn't figure out what you need to do Second go have a conversation. It is okay to have adult conversations and say hey this thing that happened.

Here's how I'm feeling I don't want to feel this way because I feel icky Let's I want to make sure that we have a good working relationship in the future I would appreciate some acknowledgment if I'm helping you out or if we're partnering together.

[Stino] (15:00 - 15:28)

That's my ask 100% and I'm taking Kristi's wins all the time whenever I was yeah. Yeah, you were always riding my coattails I'm like I use that survey idea and I was like it was all me I love that for you. Take all the credit No, like you're famous My founder already reacts much with like is this another Kristi idea and I was like you bet Only give me credit when the ideas are good.

[Kristi] (15:28 - 15:31)

But if you fail miserably keep that shit to yourself, okay?

[Stino] (15:35 - 15:42)

Guys just remember Patty is okay if you're 20 or 30 if you're 40 you need to do it a grown-up way. No, no.

[Kristi] (15:42 - 15:42)

Yeah

[Stino] (15:45 - 16:25)

All jokes aside indeed write it out The why is again very important if you listen to previous episodes as well Why and data points are like the big lines that always are coming back for this one as well why do you want it by how like why ask it to yourself write it out and Have a conversation on the most healthy way 2024 was the year of tidiness 2025 is a year that we're trying to be even more petty To Trying to be better. Thank you.

Thank you so much guys For a good New episode of the customer success hotline Christy.

[Kristi] (16:26 - 17:00)

Do you write for more mediocre advice come back? But if you've got questions customer success related or not Obviously this one was not directly customer success question, but we're here to answer anything It's gonna be based off of our experiences and what we would do in these situations if you're gonna go be petty make sure that you say and attribute that to Stino if you're gonna go be a grown-up and Follow the sound advice that I gave you. That's fine.

I'll take your credit there. This won't be a wee episode This will be a Chrissy and Stino episode. So choose your own adventure Be a petty bitch or go and have some productive conversations everyone with torches in their hands.

[Stino] (17:00 - 17:23)

Follow me People again, thank you so much. We're so happy that we get to do this together for you. So keep sending out those questions I feel that we're becoming each other's therapists.

Like I love these are very therapeutic So, please keep sending those in so we can have the most fun that I had in ages together for you and until now See you soon

[VO] (17:32 - 17:51)

You've been listening to the customer success hotline produced by lifetime value media and a member of the lifetime value media network Visit the show at lifetime value dot link slash CSH for links to each episode Show notes and instructions on how to submit your burning question