In this episode we're going to talk about one of our favorite pieces of advice, which is don't take a deep breath.

Exactly. Cuz you'll hear most people say, you know, if you are feeling nerves or stressed, they say, just take a deep breath.

Yeah. We see it all the time on Facebook group. Take deep breaths.

So, yeah. So what our advice is is not to take a deep breath.

Yeah. Well now this one's quite interesting because we, this is one that we use a lot when we are giving talks at conferences to driving instructors is also one that we include. In our training courses. And we got talking the other week. We were at a PR event and we were talking to the editor of Glamour website and we shared this with her and she loved it. And so she's now added it to one of their stress related articles on the website. And we thought, well, in that case we should make a podcast episode of it too.

Exactly. A little while ago, there was a Wim h program on tv, BBC one, and he was putting people into cold water and. If you could imagine you were going to jump into a freezing cold lake or river or whatever it was, your normal human reaction is to take a sharp intake of breath.

Yeah, Whenever there's a shock, whenever you experience a shock, like cold water, whether that's in a lake or whether it's in the shower, you get that involuntary. Gossip in breath, and instead of being calming, that type of breath can actually trigger a stress response to the brain because the brain wants to know why you've taken that sharp intake of breath, and what it actually does is it signals. Action, potentially danger. So this is why very often if somebody takes that gaspin type in breath instead of feeling calm because they've taken a deep breath, they feel more anxious, more panicky.

Yeah, and it's, it's a very similar situation to, if you've ever been in a nice warm shower and all of a sudden hot water goes, and all of a sudden it comes out really cold, your immediate reaction is to go into shock, isn't it? Yeah. You know, you, you, you even know how the, you know, your body starts to tighten as well, isn't it? So it's a very similar situation to that and. We don't want that.

No, definitely. And on the Wim Hof program, we saw it quite a lot when people were challenging themselves, when they were jumping into the water, they would often take lots of gasping in breaths where they weren't controlling their breathing.

No, and this is, you know, when you take a sharp intake of breath, you're not really in control, are you?

No. And it can lead to hyperventilation, so it means that your breath, particularly when you're breathing like that through your mouth, your breath is un unregulated.

Yes. And what we want is we want people to be in control of their breathing.

Definitely. So before we move on to that, I just want to make it clear that we are not saying that deep breathing is a problem. We are talking more about the fact that when you just tell somebody, give somebody that advice of take a few deep breaths, you're not being specific, you're not. Giving them the instructions on how to take a deep breath safely, that's going to lead to a calming response. So if somebody doesn't have the knowledge of how to deep breathe and share that with somebody safely, then our advice is, don't take a deep breath. But deep breathing done properly is great.

Yes. And our way of doing deep breathing is slightly different, isn't it? We still want people to breathe deeply, but what we want to do is a more controlled way. What we want people to do is to take a slow, gentle, full breath in.

Yeah, and just the sound of it. You'll being specific so somebody knows exactly what to do. But even in the saying it, it's nicely paced. It sounds calming. And so you are able to feel calm when you follow the instruction.

And that's exactly it, isn't it? You know, we want, we want someone to say it to us in a calm way, cuz if someone is saying, take a deep breath, it's quite rushed, isn't it? Yes. So if we can take our time to say those five words, slow, gentle, full breath in, you actually mimic that as well when you breathe in. So you will naturally take a slow. Gentle, full breath in.

Yeah, definitely. And the ideal for this, so while it's not in the instructions, the ideal is actually to breathe in through your nose, because that helps you regulate that breath. It means that you're not gonna breathe too quickly. It means that you're not gonna take in too much air all at once. So breathing in through your nose is a really good way to regulate your breathing.

Yeah. So does it matter if people do breathe in through their mouth then?

I think sometimes there's an issue with trying to confuse it too much, and we are not trying to teach people breathing exercises on the podcast. So, The aim, the main message of this is just to stop telling people to take deep breaths and instead to encourage slow, gentle, full breathing. Instead, I think as soon as we start going into instructions, We make it more

complicated. Exactly. We wanna make it as simple as possible, don't we? Yeah. And that is, you know, taking that slow, gentle, full breath in, but then also releasing that breath as well as if you're breathing out. Through pursed lips, so you are taking your time to bring you out as well.

Yeah. And that's moving on to our calming breath that we share. And this is one that we share a lot on social media, isn't it? And again, it's not trying to teach people breathing exercises, but it's just making some hints and trying to simplify things down. So with the calming breath, we encourage people to breathe in as if they're smelling a flower.

Yep.

And to breathe out as if they're blowing bubbles or blowing out candles on a birthday cake.

Yeah. And that's, that's exactly it, isn't it? You know, it's, we are not trying to overcomplicate this. It really is. Don't take a sharp intake of breath. Yeah, You know, that. gossip. What we want is that slow controlled breathing, which can regulate you back down if you're in that. I'm gonna say panic or stress state, you can quickly bring yourself back down by doing this two or three times and then you're back hopefully into that nice calm place.

Yeah, definitely. So it's remembering not to take a deep breath and if you want to be more specific using the instructions, of a slow, gentle, full breath in and. If that doesn't work, then trying the alternative of breathing in as if smelling something nice, breathing out, as if blowing out bubbles and this comes back down to the fact that it's the out breath that is the relaxing part of the breath. So the breathing in is always an action. That's never the calming, relaxing bit. It's actually the breathing out that calms us down.

And people don't have to do this when they're in a stress day. They can practice this before, can't they? You know? It's not one of these techniques. You can only do this when you are stressed if you practice it now, even when you're sitting at home feeling relaxed. Just notice the difference, isn't it? And get used to doing the practice.

Yeah. And it is just, it's starting by noticing, practicing, and then it will become automatic if you need it.

Brilliant. And that's exactly what we want, isn't it? These little techniques or tips that you can just dip into and go, I know that. I can just use that again.

Yep. Great. Well, I hope you found that useful.

Well, I, I certainly did with, when I'm teaching people, it's, it's changed the way people, you know, calm themselves down in stressful situations or just after stressful situations and yeah, I even do it myself as well now, so it is something that I can recommend personally.

Yeah, definitely. And there are loads of versions of breathing exercises, so if those two suggestions don't resonate with you, that's okay. Our message is always that there is no one size fits all option, and there are loads of options out there on YouTube on our website. So have a look and find one that suits you. And if breathing exercises aren't your thing, that's okay too. Find something else. Find an alternative. Great. So all of our contact details are in the show notes. As always, if you found this one useful, then share it with somebody else you know, who might find it useful as well. Don't forget to subscribe or follow on your favorite podcast player and maybe even leave us a little five star review. And so all that leaves us to say is, until next time, have a great day. Whatever you're doing.