One of the people on my

blog sent in a question,

he's a coach, and he says, I

feel like a fraud, imposter,

or hypocrite, I'm telling clients to

do things that I'm not even doing.

And he says, I don't like that

feeling and what do I do about it?

<Laugh>, every human being that

lives by a set of priorities,

a set of values, and whatever's

highest on that list of values,

you will spontaneously do. You won't

need to be reminded or motivated,

incentivized to do it. You'll just

do it. In my case, it's teaching.

I teach every day.

But anything that's low on

your value is an area you'll

procrastinate, hesitate,

frustrate. You won't do.

Not unless you get motivated to do

it, or somebody forces you to do it.

And so we resist things that are low,

and we are persistent

in things that are high.

So if you're telling

clients to do something that

is low on your values, you're

going to have that feeling,

because you're not doing it. And yeah,

you're going to feel like an imposter.

But in some cases,

them doing it would be helpful to them.

And if it's something that is linked

to their higher values or you linked it

to their highest values,

how specifically is doing this particular

act that you want them to do helping

you fulfill what is truly proven to

be the most important in their life?

If you link it, they increase the

odds of doing it. And there's no harm,

even if it's not priority to you,

to assist people in doing something

that will be helpful to them.

So it's not like you have to always be

doing what it is you're guiding them to

do. Sometimes some of the great

doctors I found in history

are not the best health conscious

people. And you find that.

But if you really want to not have

that feeling, that imposter syndrome,

you can either allow yourself to go,

if it's applicable to this individual

what I'm saying, and it's good advice,

it's quality advice,

and it's practical and they're doing

it and they're getting a result,

then it's not necessarily always

that you are doing the same thing,

it may not apply in your life

as it does to their life.

So you may not have to do that. You know,

that's maybe not the highest

priority thing for your life.

But if you would like it to be where

you're doing the same thing, you can,

you can ask how specifically is doing

that action that I'm telling people to do,

going to help you fulfill

what is highest on your value?

And answer that 20 or 30 times until you

get a tear in the eye and you see how

it's on the way to what you want, not

in the way. Because otherwise you're

going to have a procrastination,

hesitation, frustration.

And that what it does,

it elevates it on your

value list and so you do it.

Now you have a priority to do it. But

if it's not really priority to you,

but it is priority to them to do

those actions to get what they want,

then I wouldn't beat myself up about it.

But if you would like to have that

congruency and not have that idea that

you're telling people to do

something you're not doing,

then link it to your highest values and

increase the probability of doing it.

Or have some incentive system

in place,external motivation,

although those are transient,

to get you to do it, you know?

But I wouldn't be overly concerned

about that, because I've,

many times in my life I've given advice

to people that I do believe will be

helpful to them, it's not really a

priority to me. You know, I'm not,

I'm an academic and a teacher and I

don't go and work out in the gym every

single day, but if somebody comes

to me that they're, you know,

fitness and they want to get to a

gold medal or something like that,

and I tell them, well,

let's put more effort into it and work

out every single day or every other day

or something, then that may apply

to them, it may not apply to me,

because I don't have the goal

of being a gold medalist.

I work out my brain every single

day. That's where I work out.

I just find out where is the form that

I'm asking them to do it in my life,

because I'm working out

every day, my brain,

but I'm not necessarily working out my

body every day. Although today I did.

I got to work out today.

But the point is that it's not always

essential that you do everything that you

tell your clients to do. It

may not apply to your life,

but if you'd like it to do it,

link it to your highest values by asking

how specifically is doing this going to

help me fulfill what's meaningful to me?

Or go and find out where you are

doing it in your own form that's an

equivalent to that,

because you may be doing it in a

different form than what they're doing,

but you're doing it. Or

listen to yourself and go,

you know what, I'm I'm not going

to advise them on that topic.

I'm going to leave it and stick to my

areas that I know and I'm confident in,

and I'm demonstrating and exemplifying.

The greatest teacher is exemplification,

so it's our advantage to do so.

So you may want to take on clients and

specialize in the thing that you are

masterful at. You'll have

more confidence in that,

won't feel like this imposter hypocrite.

But I don't know if that's always

necessary to feel like a hypocrite just

because you don't do

everything you tell people.

It's not necessarily always the need for

you to do it, but it may be for them.

So keep that into context and use

it wisely and link it to your values

if you want to do it.

Or stick to what you are already

competent and exemplify already,

and target the audience

to people that are,

you're living your life and walking

your talk. You know, I find that,

but I can certainly say in my life I've

had clients throughout my coaching or

consulting career, I'm more

a consultant than a coach,

but I have certainly told people

things that I'm not necessarily doing.

It's not applying to my life.

So I wouldn't necessarily

beat myself up about that.

Just look carefully at what's really

what you want. Either link it, target it,

or embrace it.