TUP EP 079

Kerry: [00:00:00] My name is Janelle Hill, and an uplifter is someone who is bettering themselves and others.[00:00:15]

Nomination: Carrie Brody is the founder of Emma's Torch, which is an organization that empowers refugees, asylees, and survivors of human trafficking through culinary education. In addition to teaching them in the classroom and [00:00:30] also at their restaurant in Brooklyn, where they have experiential training, they have a catering business, but they also teach them English as a second language, interview skills, they provide child care for them.

And then most importantly, to help them with job placement and they build [00:00:45] community. Carrie is just brilliant and she's inspiring beyond words.

Aransas: Welcome to the Uplifters podcast. I'm Orenza Savas and today I am here with Keri Brody, who was nominated for our show by the [00:01:00] wonderful Sandy Sandberg. The response to her episode was so incredible and it was so inspiring to hear from so many others whose lives had been touched by Sandy.

And so now to meet her nominee, [00:01:15] Keri. Thanks for being here.

Kerry: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so honored to get to participate.

Aransas: So can we start by just talking about Emma's Torch and learn more about what you're doing?

Kerry: Absolutely. Our mission is to ensure that the newest [00:01:30] arrivals to our communities.

are given the tools they need and the opportunities to chart their own paths and to have their own new stories in this new community. And so it's been an incredible journey over the last eight years. We have operations in New York and in DC, but more than anything, it's just been amazing [00:01:45] to get to stand beside our students and our alumni and watch how they've built new lives for themselves.

Aransas: Incredible. So how did this become?

Kerry: I never thought I would do anything like this. I grew up thinking I was going to work in public policy. [00:02:00] I was one of those kids who grew up watching the West Wing. I was like, yes, that's me. I'm going to do that. And I was very fortunate to get to start my career in Washington, DC.

I was able to volunteer at a homeless shelter on my way to work because it was on the way. And I started having [00:02:15] conversations with people there about food. About what food meant to them, about the memories they associated, you know, food isn't just about the calories you need to get to your next meal.

It's about those memories, the taste, the feeling, the expression of love. And at the same time, I was focusing on [00:02:30] LGBTQ asylum seekers. And seeing, playing out in real time, this tremendous refugee crisis, which at the time there were 65 million displaced people around the world. That number has ballooned to over a hundred million in the eight years since then.

But I, [00:02:45] I discovered something about myself that pretty sure my parents could have told you from the time I was a toddler, I'm really impatient. And so while I loved doing public policy, I really missed it. And I realized that for me, my calling was to be doing more on that [00:03:00] end of the spectrum. And so I'm very fortunate that I was able to start exploring what would it take to do something like this?

My husband is long suffering and I told him I had this crazy idea and he said, whose permission are you [00:03:15] looking for? If you have this idea, just why can't that person be you? And I tried to find good enough reasons for it not to be me. There are plenty of people who have more talents and more experience, but I was really fortunate to be able to find an amazing community who came [00:03:30] together to get Emma's Torch off the ground and to sustain it into what it's become today.

Aransas: What was your early vision?

Kerry: The earliest iteration, I decided that if I was going to ask our students to go through culinary training, I have to know what that looks like. So I went to culinary school [00:03:45] and our very, very first pilot program, we did a very short series of classes on basic knife skills. And then we hosted an event that we sold tickets for, that our students alongside my culinary school classmates and myself cooked for.

And so that was the [00:04:00] earliest iteration, which was really exciting. At its core is not that different. If you walk into an Emma's Torch restaurant today, you're still eating food that people are using as a tool of learning. You're still bringing people together around a table. But what started then as, you know, a shoestring budget, I was [00:04:15] washing the dishes, my friends were cleaning basil overnight.

Now we have a team that gets to do that and does it in a sustainable way. But the through line of that vision has always been there.

Aransas: It's pretty ambitious. It was not like, Hey, we're going to, I don't [00:04:30] know, help these people find a job, right? That feels pretty clear and discreet. Instead, you said we're going to start a school and a restaurant and help these people pursue careers.

And that feels [00:04:45] incredibly exponentially more complex and

Kerry: involved. It's interesting. I've never thought about it that way. I love that framing because to me, and maybe this is just kind of how my brain works, all of these complex [00:05:00] pieces actually solve the problems of any singular solution. And so they come together.

None of it works on its own. Like, I have no interest in just running a restaurant. That's not my calling. It's not my skill set. But the restaurant has to work to serve the educational [00:05:15] outcomes. But if people aren't staying in the workforce because they don't know what they're getting themselves into, they don't know the norms of working in an environment, well, oh, well, then could we use this restaurant to change how people think about working in a work environment?

And so it's almost like the, the complexity, Crosses each other [00:05:30] out a little bit. There's definitely days where it's very complex, and I have learned a lot about financial modeling and other tools, but in some ways, because we have such a clear mission and because everything comes back to that mission, it all stays very clear.

Aransas: [00:05:45] When I say that, I'm thinking about the fact that there's just so many rules associated with each one of these. But you sound very unafraid of all of that. And just my guess, and I'm totally making this up, but my guess is that you are a [00:06:00] person who's like, tiny problem, tackle, tiny problem, tackle, and you just break it down.

Kerry: It's so funny. Yes, you are correct. People sometimes guess that I like love taking risks, and that is not me. I'm incredibly risk averse, but I don't know if you've ever read the book or seen the movie [00:06:15] of the Martian. This is kind of relevant also because my husband's an astrophysicist, so like sci fi and the whole premise of the book is, The character, then played by Matt Damon, is stranded on Mars and needs to get off of Mars, and that is a huge problem.

But the [00:06:30] whole approach of the book is, the problem isn't getting off of Mars, the problem is that I need to have enough fuel to get there. Well, how am I going to get fuel? And so, when I was starting Emma's Torch, instead of a to do list, I had my Mark Watney list. If we want to be able to do this huge thing, first of all, I'm never going to do it on my own.

That's not [00:06:45] possible. Mark Watney can't get off of Mars on his own. What do I need to do tomorrow to solve that problem that's going to be able to bring the next person in so that I can leverage their incredible talents, their integrity, everything that they bring so we can work together? And it makes it feel [00:07:00] less scary, I guess, but also like almost as though you're tackling all these things.

So then success becomes inevitable. You can't fail when you're bringing all these people together.

Aransas: When I talk to our audience about what they get out of these stories, they say [00:07:15] that they become more fearless and confident in their own ability to do hard things by listening to how other uplifters manage complex challenges.

Yeah,

Kerry: I've been fortunate to have incredible mentors who I've seen do [00:07:30] this and succeed. It feels like I've been able to replicate what other people have been able to chart ahead of me.

Aransas: And then there was that initial big question. Your husband said, whose permission are you waiting for? Whose permission were you waiting for?

Kerry: It was such a great [00:07:45] question at the time and continues to be. And when I'm really stressed out or concerned or get kind of wrapped up in some of those challenging moments that everybody faces. Going back to that question and framing it as why not me is, is easier for me because why you, [00:08:00] well, that just feels very like, well, who could possibly answer that and be like, well, me, I am just the best person.

No, why not me? What barrier is in front of me that's making this impossible? Who is the gatekeeper whose opinion matters more [00:08:15] than my conviction on this? Or whose opinion or whose rules matter more than the needs of this moment? And it's when you start framing the question like that, you start to realize that the people you respect the most, the people [00:08:30] Who's permission you might need.

It's not permission. You want them to be with you. And for the most part, those people already are. What a beautiful distinction.

Aransas: You don't want their permission. You want their support.

Kerry: Exactly.

Aransas: Wow. And how have you used [00:08:45] that to build your team of allies and collaborators?

Kerry: I used to get very nervous and I still do going into different meetings, whether it's with a funder or an employment partner or a reporter, there's some element of [00:09:00] it that you're, you're trying to sell an idea.

But I had an incredible mentor who early on forced me to reframe that fear into the idea that every time you're going into a meeting with somebody is an opportunity to learn why they're in that room. And that if you [00:09:15] come into it with that curiosity, Well, then there's nothing to be afraid of because they're in that room with you for a reason.

And that reason probably has something to do with why you're in that room. And so you can find that commonality and bring them along together, which has been, I [00:09:30] look at our, our network of employment partners, invariably every one of them is not with Emma's torch because they had a great conversation with me or with Emma's torch because they It is an extension of their values of the type of work they want to be doing of who they want to be employing.

Our funders, it's [00:09:45] the same thing. Our funders want to see a better world. And when they fund Emma's Torch, it's not because I was able to put together the best sentence. It's because they feel like the world they want to see is the one that we're building with them. [00:10:00] And so it doesn't always work. And there are times where we can't come together.

And there are times where people don't. have an alignment. But coming into the room with that curiosity, it was just some really good advice that somebody gave me early on and that has helped me a lot along the way.

Aransas: It is easy to get distracted, [00:10:15] isn't it? Oh, absolutely. Because what you're talking about is in the weeds oftentimes.

What do you ask in order to find out what they want to learn?

Kerry: It depends on what their relationship is, but for example, with somebody who's interested in potentially [00:10:30] funding Emma's Torch, I'm curious about what they think impact means, because that's what I nerd out on. We love to talk about data, but if that's not landing with you, if impact means something else to you, then, then we're going to speak past [00:10:45] each other.

And more than that, if impact means something else to you and I've never thought about it that way, well, then I'm missing an opportunity. At some level you reach a point where you have to say, there's so much need in the world. And my heart or my gut or myself, [00:11:00] something that is not quantifiable is also playing a role in this decision making and that's okay because that's what makes us human and so getting at that with people for me is really effective and I learn a lot even outside of Emma's Torch hearing from people who are thinking about it.[00:11:15]

How they want to give because of how they want to teach their Children or their grandchildren or because of their great grandparents experience. There's this multi generational level to it, which I just find endlessly fascinating and has made me think differently about my family history and about parenting.

Aransas: Oh, that is [00:11:30] so interesting. I was curious what it was that really inspired people and made them feel like, hey, of all the places I could put my time and money and energy, this is where I want to put it.

Kerry: The answer that I hear most or is a [00:11:45] through line for most of our supporters. It usually ties back to the idea that I see myself in the newest arrivals that I can picture whether it was a school field trip to Ellis Island as a kid or my parents arriving in this country, my grandparents arriving in this country, whatever it is, [00:12:00] we're a nation of immigrants.

And I think this idea of this, like, very personal connection, I don't want to project onto people, but I also think that there's a sense of, for me, One of the catalyzing moments was in 2016. There was a photo of a three year old [00:12:15] little boy whose body was washed up on the shores of Greece. Alan Kurdi was his name.

And I remember seeing that. I think that that photo was award winning. It was everywhere. And that picture was a wake up call for me because I knew my own family history. I knew how many people hadn't opened doors for [00:12:30] them. And it had been easy to think about, well, people should have. Well, I'm a person.

What am I doing? And I think that Emma's Torch and other organizations as well give people an opportunity to say that's not who we are. The world doesn't exist today is not what I stand for. Those [00:12:45] policies that close doors are not what I'm about. And it's a tangible way to do it because it's not just supporting us philanthropically.

It's, hey, come buy a cup of coffee. The couple of dollars you're going to spend buying that coffee is a way of saying, I'm not just sitting by while the [00:13:00] world continues in this direction. And I think that for a lot of people, that's really important to them to be able to look themselves in the mirror, to look at their children, whatever it may be, and say, I've made a stand against this.

Who is Emma? Emma is named after Emma [00:13:15] Lazarus. She was the poet who wrote the words on the Statue of Liberty. Emma Lazarus was this unsung hero of history. She died very young and she lived at a time where nothing was expected of her. She was a upper middle class Jewish woman living in New York [00:13:30] and there was this massive wage wave of migration coming.

And she used her power, her voice, her time and her resources to say that it's not just important for them that we welcome them. The beauty of her poem is that she was told, [00:13:45] write something that's symbolic of America. How radical is that? That you're being told something about America and what's the most famous line?

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. That's America to her. And she called it the new Colossus. [00:14:00] That's the new power of America. And while we've never lived up to those words, and there's so many ways in which we can do better, I wanted to make sure that we were continuing that legacy, that fight to say, this is who we are and this is who we can be.

Aransas: I didn't know that story. What are [00:14:15] some of the success stories that you've heard from this work?

Kerry: We worked with closing in on 500 students over the last eight years. And, I mean, we've seen. So many different forms of success at the macro level. What we're looking at [00:14:30] is wage growth over time. We've created more than eight and a half million dollars of increased wages.

So that's just brass tacks, amazing people have money in their pockets, but it's the stories behind it. It's the mother of six children who's just driving the United States, who's able to ensure that her children [00:14:45] go to summer camp. One of our first graduates just opened a restaurant and they've just expanded into a specialty grocery store.

Another is launching their own catering business. One has a food truck down here in DC and so seeing those huge successes, becoming a business owner or [00:15:00] buying a house or being able to send money home or being able to afford to enjoy an outing as a family, whatever it may be. The way we define success as we, we talk to our students about what is it that you are trying to do here?

We have our metrics, we have our [00:15:15] goals, but at the end of the day. Our biggest goal is to empower you to pursue your goals. And so we want to make sure that we're, we're sitting next to our students. We're not telling them what to do, but we're celebrating the successes that they're working towards.

Aransas: What an amazing question.[00:15:30]

And it's really the question we should all be asking when we're in a role of support.

Kerry: Absolutely. And I learned so much. I mean, the, the challenges that our students face have changed over the years. And so we need to make sure that we're adapting our programming to meet the needs as they are right [00:15:45] now.

Not as we wish them to be, or as we assume them to be, but what's, what's actually happening on the ground.

Aransas: Amazing. And so this is not all you do. You're also. So. A wife, you said. You're a mom of two, I think. For so many uplifters, there is a [00:16:00] balance between how we pour ourselves into something we really, really care about and believe in, and how we take care of ourselves, so that we can sustain that.

What does that look like for you? It's less balance,

Kerry: more juggling. Yeah. I think it was Nora [00:16:15] Roberts. There's somebody very famous and very well spoken who spoke about being a working mom is a little bit like juggling glass balls and rubber balls and the magic is figuring out which is which. And I don't always get it right.

I've definitely dropped some glass balls in my time. But I think for me. It's important [00:16:30] for me to make sure that I have the time I need to take care of myself, which is a tremendous privilege, and also to ensure that I'm showing up as my best self for others. Nobody is served by me burning out, whether it's on the parenting side, as a wife, as [00:16:45] a daughter, a granddaughter, all of the different hats that I'm so fortunate to wear that sustain me.

Nobody is served by me being a martyr. Somebody recently told me that there's two models of leadership. One is. Uh, leader is a martyr and one is a [00:17:00] leader as a welcomer. And so a leader is a welcomer believes that everybody together is how we're going to move forward and that their role is to ensure that everybody can show up as their best selves, including themselves.

And so I don't always get it right. Believe me, there are [00:17:15] days where I get very stressed out or I'm working late hours or just I'm not being who I want to be, but I'm very fortunate to have people in my life who can. Help me ensure that I, I stay in some form of balance and balance is always shifting.[00:17:30]

Aransas: How do they do that that feels good to you as opposed to unsupportive?

Kerry: It's funny, the people who really do it well have also put up with me when I haven't been as receptive to it, when I've snapped back, when I've said, you know, you [00:17:45] don't understand. But it's those people who still show up and say, nope, you are, you are snapping at me and I'm still telling you.

I think for me and. I found that for a number of people at work with the framing around the mission versus the self can be really [00:18:00] helpful. Like you working all weekend or you not taking PTO or you even apologizing for leaving work early when you have to go to your daughter's Daycare graduation indicates that you are not mission aligned because part of our mission is ensuring that we can do this work [00:18:15] sustainably.

And if we don't do this work sustainably, then we're not showing up for our students. And while that's a little bit of a mental gymnastics, I think removing this idea. that it's selfish to, to serve everybody and to serve yourself in that group has been very helpful for [00:18:30] me. And sometimes just a little bit of a kick in the pants of like, nope, you've got to leave now.

Please leave. None of this is that all of us will be here tomorrow. Please just do your thing, which has been helpful too.

Aransas: Yeah. And in fact, we'll figure out how to manage the hard stuff without you [00:18:45] here. Oh, absolutely. And everybody will be better. Yes. I think that's one of the hardest things for women leaders, especially heart centered mission led female leaders.

We know we are resourceful and we can [00:19:00] handle things and we can figure it out. And we don't always know that other people can because we get so good at solving those problems. And it is an act of trust to hand those things off, but also an act of courage to surround yourself with the people who will call you out [00:19:15] for it.

Oh, absolutely. So as you think about your big dreams for the legacy you'd like to leave and the work that you'd like to accomplish with Emma's Torch or beyond, [00:19:30] what excites you?

Kerry: It's interesting. I'm coming up on eight years at Emma's Torch, which isn't like a particularly huge milestone. It's a pretty good long time.

It is a number of years, but it's not a round number. Like, it's one of those, like, this is five years felt like, oh yes, this is, I mean, five years [00:19:45] also, no, like pandemic. And now I'm like, okay, 10 years. What does that look like? And trying to also have like a, the bigger vision for Emma's Torch. But it's interesting because you asked it in terms of legacy.

And I think for me. Early on, I was at a [00:20:00] cocktail party or something and someone asked where I worked and I said, Oh, I run a nonprofit called Emma's Torch. Oh, Emma's Torch. I know them. What do you do there? And that to me is what I want as my legacy. I want Emma's Torch to be an enormous success changing the lives of not just hundreds, but [00:20:15] thousands of people and their families.

For a very long time, for as long as it's needed, until we put ourselves out of business. I don't want that to be tied just to me. I want that to be tied to the idea that all of our communities are what makes this change. And so, in some ways, the legacy I [00:20:30] want to leave is one where I'm very proud of Emma's Torch, and I'm very proud of my community.

leadership of it, but I want to ensure that Emma's Torch is able to bar out Last Knee.

Aransas: It's exciting too to think about the children and the [00:20:45] grandchildren of the people that you have trained and as you tell the story about the people who support you. the program as the legacies of those of other immigrants to think about how those stories will [00:21:00] unfold.

And again, the ripples of having an on ramp to a new life, because we do make it so freaking hard for people to start a new life. What do you hope people listening to this [00:21:15] will be inspired

Kerry: to do? Aside from, of course, coming to visit Emma's Torch and getting some coffee from us or hiring us for catering.

We should talk about that because we're going to

Aransas: have Uplifters Live every year and I'm like, oh my gosh. Oh, we would love to cater. Can't [00:21:30] wait.

Kerry: Done. Oh, brilliant. We're there. It's going to be amazing. But I think I was really lucky that. Not just my husband, like literally asking me whose permission do you need?

But just that so many people in my life, whether they were teachers, my parents, my [00:21:45] grandparents gave me the belief that that was a reasonable question to ask. And I think that for people listening, ask yourself that question, even if it sounds hokey, like sometimes the act of asking that question is the scariest part because then you, all that's left is to answer it.

[00:22:00] And then you discover that. Maybe there isn't an answer. Maybe there is no one stopping you. And so I know that I was fortunate that people forced me to, to ask that question. So I think that would be the one thing I would offer to others as well.

Aransas: Yeah. It's a wonderful question. And the founder of the Seek 57, who [00:22:15] was also on our show, had the exact same moment of clarity.

Kerry: Oh, wow.

Aransas: And she said, why not me? And in coming up with the answer to that question, she realized that she was uniquely well positioned to do this [00:22:30] thing. And I think there is that as well, highlighting what are my strengths that enable me to do this in a way nobody else could do? And I've found that in my own career to be really empowering to say, well, yeah, I'm the only one who has these [00:22:45] experiences and these strengths and resources.

So. Yeah. Yeah, I'm kind of the only one who can do it this way. I love that. Yet, that quiet question in the back of, not me, I can't, too hard, too much, is [00:23:00] paralyzing. And so, to your point, even just asking the question, getting it out in the open can be transformative. But then to keep answering those questions and looking for the stories that empower you.

What a privilege. [00:23:15] to get to hear from folks like you about the work that you're doing and how you do it and frankly, You seem super smart and super confident, and you also just seem like a person. Oh, thank you. Right? Like just a human being, [00:23:30] which I think is so beautiful and inspiring to remember because that's all any of us are, is just human beings out there trying to make a difference in our little corner of the universe.

I think every time we get to hear from somebody [00:23:45] who's doing that, it helps us all be a little bit braver. And a little bit smarter about how we do that in our little corner.

Kerry: Well, thank you for bringing this incredible platform and elevating these stories. I've I've learned so much so i'm so grateful

Aransas: I'm so fortunate.[00:24:00]

Thank you so much carrie for what you're doing for our collective community For these families the newest members of our neighborhoods And for all of us, we all rise higher [00:24:15] together. Thank you for listening to the Uplifters podcast. If you're getting a boost from these episodes, please share them with the Uplifters in your life and then join us in conversation over at the uplifterspodcast.[00:24:30]

com, head over to Spotify, Apple podcast, or Google. Wherever you get your podcast and like, follow and rate our show, it'll really help us connect with more uplifters and it'll ensure you [00:24:45] never miss one of these beautiful stories.

Music: Big love painted water, sunshine with rosemary. I'm dwelling, not perplexing.

You find it. [00:25:00] Toss a star in hover, be your own best lover. Relish in a new prime, plant a tree in springtime. Dance with idle hindsight, bring the sun to twilight. [00:25:15] Lift you up, whoa oh oh oh oh. Lift you up, whoa oh oh oh oh. Lift you up, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, [00:25:30] oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, [00:25:45] oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Beautiful.

I cried. It's [00:26:00] that little thing you did with your voice. Right, in the pre chorus, right? I was like Mommy, stop crying. You're disturbing the peace.