My name is Trish Ware and I am obsessed with all things pregnancy and birth, and helping you to navigate with the practical and the magical seasons of this journey called motherhood.

I'm an all day coffee sipping mama of seven and labor and delivery nurse who took her expertise in the labor room and turned it into an online one-stop shop.

For mamas looking for powerful education and support, I've had the amazing privilege of delivering mini babies in my 15 plus year career as a labor and delivery nurse.

And as a mama of seven, I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby and write the birth story of your dreams.

So hit subscribe, and let's replace your anxiety and fear with complete confidence.

Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice.

Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom of the show notes.

I am so excited about today's guest.

I've got one of my calm labor confident birth course students, Laura, on here with us, and she's gonna share her birth story with you guys, and we all love birth stories.

So welcome Laura.

Speaker 2 00:01:30

Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 00:01:31

I'm really happy to be here.

I love when you guys come on and share your stories 'cause I get to hear them and it's so much fun to have you guys on and share with my audience.

So before we get started with your birth story, I always like to ask my students or the mamas who come and share, to go back a little bit back to your pregnancy journey and tell me what brought you to labor nurse mom.

Speaker 2 00:01:57

So I was about 15, 20 weeks into my pregnancy.

Speaker 2 00:02:03

I have a friend who's actually studying to become a doula, and she's also a registered nurse for a critical care unit.

Speaker 2 00:02:11

So she, she knows her stuff and she saw that I was starting to struggle and starting to get really overwhelmed with all of the information's out there.

Speaker 2 00:02:20

And she has seen your posts on Instagram, so she's the one who introduced me to you.

Speaker 2 00:02:27

So being overwhelmed and then having.

Speaker 2 00:02:32

You be able to explain everything that's going on, help focus me a little bit more, and that kept me centered.

Speaker 2 00:02:38

So that is why I joined your course.

I love that.

I just taught my painted up labor class last night and I was telling them like the biggest mistake you can make is winging your birth.

Going in with unrealistic expectations.

So that I feel is just so important.

And on top of that education, I feel like we do something extra with our weekly happy hours and the ways that we support you guys.

Okay, so let's talk about your journey towards your birth.

And so you took the birth class, and now let's talk about getting close to time and what was going on, and tell us your last weeks of pregnancy.

Speaker 2 00:03:19

Everything was crazy, chaotic, but also delightful at the same time.

Speaker 2 00:03:28

So I went off of work about a month before my due date, a little bit more before my due date and my sister-in-law, and I went down to Toronto and that's how we started my mat leave.

Speaker 2 00:03:41

And just coming off of work where I have.

Speaker 2 00:03:46

Incredible clients that I get to socialize with every day.

Speaker 2 00:03:49

I lost that, so I actually ended up feeling a little bit lonely in my end stages of pregnancy.

Speaker 2 00:03:54

And how

many weeks were you when this, when you did this?

Speaker 2 00:03:57

When I did this, I was 30, or sorry.

Speaker 2 00:04:01

No, 34.

Speaker 2 00:04:03

34 weeks.

Speaker 2 00:04:04

34 weeks.

Speaker 2 00:04:04

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:04:05

I was 34 weeks pregnant.

Speaker 2 00:04:10

But I couldn't work anymore.

Speaker 2 00:04:11

I'm a massage therapist in Ontario, so you know, swollen joints, sore back.

Speaker 2 00:04:18

Yeah, sore everything.

Speaker 2 00:04:19

All the other fun stuff with pregnancy.

Speaker 2 00:04:21

It wasn't realistic with my work.

Speaker 2 00:04:23

So going on that trip with my sister-in-law was absolutely epic.

Speaker 2 00:04:29

And then coming home and just.

Speaker 2 00:04:34

Just being pregnant, I say in parentheses or quotations.

Speaker 2 00:04:38

It was a little bit strange to me 'cause I could feel so lonely and so like incomp all at the same time.

Speaker 2 00:04:47

'cause you're pregnant, everything you do, you are with somebody at all times.

Speaker 2 00:04:51

But honestly, like my pregnancy was really smooth sailing.

Speaker 2 00:04:55

It was incredible seeing my midwives every single week, especially getting up to the point of delivery.

Speaker 2 00:05:02

Just having those people check in on me.

Speaker 2 00:05:03

But yeah, it's a really weird, strange experience, feeling really lonely in your pregnancy, but also so surrounded by love and support, which I was.

I'd love to ask you, did you take advantage of the community and did you come to the happy hours?

Was that something that you were actively involved?

Speaker 2 00:05:22

So while I was at work, no, because at the time of the happy hours I was still working, which I think I commented on a couple.

Speaker 2 00:05:29

I, yeah, I remember.

Speaker 2 00:05:30

Yeah, I exist.

Speaker 2 00:05:32

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:05:32

But I did come to a couple of them though after I went on to after mat leave and I remember bouncing on my ball.

Speaker 2 00:05:40

I was probably.

Speaker 2 00:05:42

36, 37 weeks pregnant, and I ended up turning off my camera.

Speaker 2 00:05:46

I was like, this motion of me going up and down is gonna be really annoying to watch.

For those of you guys who may not listen to the podcast or follow me or know anything about our program, we have, what I feel makes it so unique and so special is we have our MAMA membership Now.

Our MAMA membership is now.

Separate from the classes, which Laura May not know this, but when you join one of the classes, you get the mama membership free for 30 days.

After that, it's an ongoing membership that you can stay a part of it for 1997 and.

It includes weekly hangouts.

We have a community manager, we have groups, we have expert workshops, and it includes support all the way till a couple years postpartum to be real.

And so we now have a postpartum hangout, Laura, which you should be coming to.

And it is incredible.

And so that's just something that sets us apart from everyone else.

I think.

Speaker 2 00:06:46

I didn't realize that I needed that community until I joined it, but I joined it later than I expected to because of my work.

Speaker 2 00:06:53

But once I was there, oh my gosh, it felt it was so nice.

I love that you guys hear her.

Hear her.

If you've joined one of my classes and you're not taking advantage of the membership, that is what's going to make all the difference, because I know you all, and I know every single one of you take the class.

You're listening to it, you're pumped up, you're feeling confident, then.

That emotional high goes down.

Then you go to the doctor's office, they say something that scares you or confuses you, and the fear goes back up.

So that's why the weekly happy hours are so important.

And also, if you are a student and a member, you also get our labor bat signal, which means you.

To communicate with me and Taylor privately until six weeks postpartum.

So that's just totally that we do because we love it and we love that relationship with you guys.

Okay, so now you are lonely waiting for baby to come.

Was that, was it like making you worried about how you were gonna feel during postpartum?

Speaker 2 00:07:56

Totally.

Speaker 2 00:07:57

So I reached out to, I see a therapist, so I reached out to my therapist to let her know that I was feeling a little nervous about how postpartum was gonna go because I was starting to feel a little bit lonely and my husband was still working by this point, so I didn't want to.

Speaker 2 00:08:14

For lack of better terms, be a bother to him.

Speaker 2 00:08:16

'cause he was also stressed 'cause his life was about to change too.

Speaker 2 00:08:20

So I really leaned into my best friend, who's the one who showed me your course.

Speaker 2 00:08:25

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:08:25

The one that's

going to be a doula, right?

Speaker 2 00:08:27

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 00:08:29

Okay.

Speaker 2 00:08:29

And I was like, you haven't led me in any bad direction this far.

Speaker 2 00:08:32

I'm just going to clinging to you 'cause you're re like you're a new mom to Yeah.

Help.

So that's what we're supposed to do, right?

Isn't that what community's about?

That's why we're creating this community.

'cause a lot of moms don't have that.

Speaker 2 00:08:46

Totally.

Speaker 2 00:08:47

And it's alarming the number of people that don't have that.

Speaker 2 00:08:50

Ah, and don't realize they need it until it's presented to them.

Speaker 2 00:08:55

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 00:08:56

That they can't refuse.

Speaker 2 00:08:57

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:08:57

My friend had my friend who knows me so well, she forced me to hang out.

Speaker 2 00:09:02

And the more I did that, the more comfortable I felt.

Speaker 2 00:09:05

She's, what's going on?

Speaker 2 00:09:06

What's, how's your birth course going?

Speaker 2 00:09:08

So I'm a procrastinator.

Speaker 2 00:09:10

Terrible procrastinator.

Speaker 2 00:09:11

Oh.

Speaker 2 00:09:11

Now

we're hearing the truth.

Speaker 2 00:09:13

Yeah, but I am giving you the truth.

Speaker 2 00:09:16

Yes.

Speaker 2 00:09:16

You told her like, yeah, I've done the course and stuff.

Speaker 2 00:09:20

She's, have you focused though?

Speaker 2 00:09:23

Where is your focus?

Speaker 2 00:09:24

Have you really taken away what you need to from that course?

Speaker 2 00:09:26

Do you need to go over it again?

Speaker 2 00:09:28

I was like, no, I absolutely understand everything.

Speaker 2 00:09:30

And I ended up watching the course again with my husband.

Speaker 2 00:09:34

'cause I realized for me what was stressing me out was him not being there with me for the course, for him to see everything that I'm seeing, for him to ask questions about the things that I'm also asking questions about.

Speaker 2 00:09:48

Have that.

Speaker 2 00:09:49

Comradery.

Speaker 2 00:09:50

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:09:50

Of what the heck is going on with our lives.

Speaker 2 00:09:53

And after we watched the course together or did the course together, and he also did the partner course that was fantastic.

Speaker 2 00:09:59

Or the coach course.

Speaker 2 00:10:00

I think it's the coach class.

Speaker 2 00:10:01

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:10:01

And it's

actually, we've got that as a bonus right now.

They buy the birth class, which you're whoever's listening, it may not be going down, but right now we do.

That's a bonus buy

Speaker 2 00:10:10

and that is fantastic.

Speaker 2 00:10:12

I absolutely love that.

Speaker 2 00:10:13

So did my husband.

Speaker 2 00:10:15

So once he and I were on the same page for everything that was going on, then I chilled out.

Speaker 2 00:10:20

Then I was in my happy spot and hung out with my parents a lot, hung out with my dog.

Speaker 2 00:10:26

Went for walks, and then labor started.

So tell me about that.

How far along were you, where were you at?

What was go?

What was your first sign that it was happening?

Speaker 2 00:10:41

So, September 4th.

Speaker 2 00:10:43

Was the first twinge, like just the lightest little, like little tickle in my uterus kind of feeling.

Speaker 2 00:10:51

A little

knock on the door,

Speaker 2 00:10:53

just like, hello.

Speaker 2 00:10:55

Like, oh, okay, alright.

Speaker 2 00:10:56

I'm not opening the door yet, but I'm waiting for you to do this.

Speaker 2 00:11:00

And it eventually went away.

Speaker 2 00:11:03

Came back a little bit throughout the night, but not, nothing really substantial.

Speaker 2 00:11:09

And then September 5th at.

Speaker 2 00:11:12

Three 30 in the morning, I woke my husband up and said, okay, like this is, this is go time.

Speaker 2 00:11:19

I can't sleep anymore.

Speaker 2 00:11:20

I'm waking up with discomfort.

Speaker 2 00:11:22

And we called my midwife and because my contractions were every minute and a half lasting 30 seconds, and this was going on for an hour.

Speaker 2 00:11:35

I wasn't sure what the ratio was.

Speaker 2 00:11:38

I know about every 4 1 1 or a 5 0 1 depending on what area you're in.

Speaker 2 00:11:44

Um, 'cause everybody has different.

Speaker 2 00:11:48

Recommendations, depending on what area of the world you're in.

Speaker 2 00:11:51

So I called my midwife and she said, Nope.

Speaker 2 00:11:56

Pause.

Speaker 2 00:11:56

Stay at home as long as you can.

Yes, that is good advice.

Yes.

Speaker 2 00:12:00

Stay home as

I'm, I wanna interject really quick for those of you guys listening.

So.

The labor nurse in me, and I'm sure this midwife, when you hear that someone is having every minute and a half in their 30 seconds, that's a, that, that's a really good indication that yeah, she might be in early labor, but her body's still finding its rhythm and so you really wanna wait for it to get very rhythmic.

Speaker 2 00:12:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:12:24

Something that really confused me 'cause I wasn't sure if I was fast tracking, does this, is this more intense than the 4 0 1 1 rule?

Speaker 2 00:12:31

What's happening to me?

Speaker 2 00:12:32

But exactly my body was sorting itself out.

Speaker 2 00:12:35

And she said, stay at home.

Speaker 2 00:12:38

Stay at home as long as you can.

Speaker 2 00:12:40

Once your contractions are following the necessary pattern for you to call me, that is when you call me.

Speaker 2 00:12:46

So about 6:00 AM hits and I call my friend who's becoming the doula.

Speaker 2 00:12:50

Her name is Ray, for easier contact.

Speaker 2 00:12:52

Okay.

Speaker 2 00:12:52

Her name is Ray.

Speaker 2 00:12:54

So my husband ended up calling Raylynn and said, Hey, you need to know Laura is in labor.

Speaker 2 00:13:02

And she came over probably at about.

Speaker 2 00:13:06

I wanna say 11 o'clock, but I was off in LA land.

Speaker 2 00:13:09

I don't even know what day it was at that point.

And you should be, that's your only job is to labor when you're in labor.

Speaker 2 00:13:15

It was insane.

Speaker 2 00:13:17

So she showed up, I was still in my bed.

Speaker 2 00:13:19

I was moving around as you recommended, and she essentially allowed my husband, Rick to get sleep so that he could drive me to the birth center later.

Speaker 2 00:13:30

And she was my focus, she was my center.

Speaker 2 00:13:33

For me to stay grounded.

Speaker 2 00:13:36

I think my favorite part of laboring at home, two parts.

Speaker 2 00:13:41

One being in the bathroom, she brought my salt lamp in and we had relaxing music going nice and had a squatty potty that I would put my foot up on so that it was that asymmetrical thing.

Speaker 2 00:13:53

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:13:53

So just switching around every four or five contractions, what position I was in, she brought a peanut ball.

Speaker 2 00:14:00

I was on the yoga ball.

Speaker 2 00:14:01

My other favorite part, my dog would not leave my side.

Oh, nice.

Speaker 2 00:14:06

She was so sweet throughout the whole thing.

Speaker 2 00:14:08

Labor,

comfort, support,

Speaker 2 00:14:10

ex with fuzzy ears.

Speaker 2 00:14:11

It was wonderful.

Speaker 2 00:14:12

So labored at home until about four o'clock, 4:00 PM This is September 5th still.

Speaker 2 00:14:19

So I labored on Labor Day.

Speaker 2 00:14:20

I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 00:14:21

Nice.

It's app that's appropriate.

Speaker 2 00:14:25

Right.

Speaker 2 00:14:26

So my son will never live that down.

Speaker 2 00:14:29

Midwife comes over, she checks me.

Speaker 2 00:14:31

She says, congratulations, like you're at 6.5 centimeters.

Speaker 2 00:14:34

You've done really well.

Speaker 2 00:14:35

You are able to move.

Speaker 2 00:14:36

We're able to move over to the birth center.

Speaker 2 00:14:39

So my husband and I get packed up, ready to go.

Speaker 2 00:14:42

My best friend meets me there, and the birth center in Ottawa is stunning.

Speaker 2 00:14:49

I wish everybody, even if they're planning on going to the hospital, I wish they would just do a tour of this place.

Speaker 2 00:14:55

Nice.

Speaker 2 00:14:56

It has a fireplace.

Speaker 2 00:14:58

I'm so jealous.

Speaker 2 00:14:59

A walk-in shower, queen size bed that reclines for you, and a huge tub that honestly, you could probably fit four people in, but unless you're having triplets, it's pretty much you in there.

Speaker 2 00:15:10

Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 00:15:11

And the baby.

Speaker 2 00:15:11

So it was super cool.

Speaker 2 00:15:14

And the tub is the big one that I wanted to try.

Speaker 2 00:15:16

That was something I was always really drawn to, so I ended up having a water birth.

Speaker 2 00:15:20

Oh, I love it.

Speaker 2 00:15:23

It was so cool.

Speaker 2 00:15:24

But I'm getting ahead of myself so.

Speaker 2 00:15:27

Probably about two minutes to 11:00 PM and my water finally broke, and I was so excited.

Speaker 2 00:15:33

That was the weirdest feeling I have ever experienced in my life.

Speaker 2 00:15:36

I.

Speaker 2 00:15:39

It feels like a water balloon coming outta your bits.

Yeah.

It's so funny because my last verse story that I did was with Cassie, one of my VBAC lab students, and her water broke in the tub at the hospital and it's so funny.

Two in a row

Speaker 2 00:15:54

that's, it's a weird feeling.

Speaker 2 00:15:57

That's funny that it's two in a row though.

Speaker 2 00:15:59

I was really proud of myself for letting.

Speaker 2 00:16:02

My water break when it needed to because my midwife had wanted to intervene.

Speaker 2 00:16:06

She wanted to break my water.

Speaker 2 00:16:08

I think you're getting a little bit tired.

Speaker 2 00:16:10

You're only at eight centimeters and I think we, this is something we should talk about and I was really ticked off when I heard that 'cause I also didn't wanna be getting out of the tub to have my cervix checked and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 00:16:25

Inconvenient for me.

Speaker 2 00:16:26

And I quoted you in that moment when she had said this, I was like, I don't want anything done out of convenience or curiosity.

Oh, you

Speaker 2 00:16:34

said

it out loud.

Speaker 2 00:16:35

I

did.

I knew that you thought it, but I didn't know you said it.

Yeah, I literally

Speaker 2 00:16:41

said it to her.

Speaker 2 00:16:42

I

probably And what was her response?

Speaker 2 00:16:44

She

just

Speaker 2 00:16:45

not out of curiosity and it just, I think it would be good for you to be able to help move things along faster.

Speaker 2 00:16:51

And my friend Ray, I love this girl to pieces, and you were about to see why she elected her.

Speaker 2 00:16:59

And from what I recall, again, in between contractions by this point, she's eight centimeters.

Speaker 2 00:17:05

She's progressing beautifully.

Speaker 2 00:17:06

There's absolutely no need to be breaking her water.

Speaker 2 00:17:10

What you doing?

Yeah.

Be besides, you wanna go home.

Speaker 2 00:17:14

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:17:14

And yeah, I understand that you wanna go home, but that's not a good enough reason for you to break.

Speaker 2 00:17:19

Well, and you chose

this career, which is an unpredictable pattern.

Speaker 2 00:17:24

Yes.

Speaker 2 00:17:24

So absolutely.

Speaker 2 00:17:25

I

love it.

I'm so proud of you.

Like I am so proud.

I say that throughout the course.

For those of you guys who are listening, I say it throughout and all the time.

Nothing out of convenience or curiosity.

No.

It's not okay.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:17:41

And it was a firm no for me.

Speaker 2 00:17:42

And then my poor midwife met my friend Wrath on that one as well, and my husband didn't get a chance to say anything 'cause we were busy just shutting this completely down thing.

Speaker 2 00:17:53

Yeah, absolutely not

double.

Wha.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:17:55

So she, gosh, I loved my team there.

Speaker 2 00:17:58

So my midwife left just to give us some time to think about it.

Speaker 2 00:18:03

She came back and said, oh, I spoke to another WI Midwife midwife.

Speaker 2 00:18:07

She said that we don't have to do this, so

don't have to break your water.

Speaker 2 00:18:11

Yeah.

But you already told her no.

So what?

I'm so baffled, like you already told her?

No.

Why did she need to get a second opinion?

Speaker 2 00:18:19

I think that she was covering her tracks, honestly, and

Speaker 2 00:18:24

it was, I liked my midwife a lot.

Speaker 2 00:18:29

She was wonderful.

Speaker 2 00:18:30

My kid is born, he's good.

Speaker 2 00:18:33

Did not love that.

Speaker 2 00:18:35

So that's why I was so proud of myself that my water broke while I was in the tub.

Speaker 2 00:18:38

It was just this victory of how I did it.

Speaker 2 00:18:40

And how

long after that, uh, how long after her wanting to intervene?

Was he born?

No.

The water birth.

Oh.

Speaker 2 00:18:47

Water breaking it was less than an hour.

Speaker 2 00:18:50

Oh, see?

Speaker 2 00:18:51

Come on.

Give our

Speaker 2 00:18:52

bodies

a chance.

Speaker 2 00:18:54

Yep.

Speaker 2 00:18:55

Give your body a chance.

Speaker 2 00:18:56

And that is something that I did find was a bit of a theme in my pregnancy, especially after my son was born, but.

Speaker 2 00:19:03

We'll get to that in a moment.

Speaker 2 00:19:04

Okay?

Speaker 2 00:19:04

I was going through labor in the tub and that was fantastic.

Speaker 2 00:19:09

The heat was amazing on my back and she eventually checked me again 'cause I said, I can feel the ring of fire.

Speaker 2 00:19:17

She's, oh, like, checks me.

Speaker 2 00:19:20

I'm at 10 centimeter.

Speaker 2 00:19:21

She's said, oh, I'm gonna call the backup midwife.

Speaker 2 00:19:23

She's gonna be here in 25 minutes.

Speaker 2 00:19:25

Don't push in a little bit more of a colorful way.

Speaker 2 00:19:28

He said, are you effing kidding me?

I just for a, just for a side note, you guys, so Laura, when we were prepping for the episode, she was like, is there any rules?

Am I allowed to swear?

And I told her she can, it's okay if she does.

I personally, it's really funny joke in my house because my husband, he swears a bit, but I don't say the F word.

When I say the F word, it's fudge.

And when you say F-ing, I'm thinking fudging is what I think.

That's where I go.

But there is no judgment.

So you know, sometimes the F word is appropriate and a lot of times in labor, very appropriate.

Speaker 2 00:20:08

I think when I said that to her, she understood and was like, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 00:20:13

So yeah, I was not pleased and I withheld pushing as much as I could.

Speaker 2 00:20:17

But I was also really ticked off.

Speaker 2 00:20:19

'cause I'm like, my body's telling me to push and you're telling me not to.

I don't understand why she couldn't do the delivery.

She's a midwife.

Right.

It's so,

Speaker 2 00:20:27

from my understanding in terms of the regulations in Ontario and or in Ottawa, I don't know how they change from place to place, but there's a midwife for you and then a midwife for your baby.

Okay,

Speaker 2 00:20:42

so they can have their focus on you and then one on the baby.

Speaker 2 00:20:45

I have no idea why, but that's what the explanation was for me.

So in the US we, A midwife is like an ob, like a provider, and then you have your labor nurse and mama has a labor nurse, and then there's a baby nurse.

So it sounds to me like the role is a little blended

Speaker 2 00:21:03

it.

Speaker 2 00:21:04

Yeah, I would say so because the only people that were in the room were my midwife.

Speaker 2 00:21:09

My doula, my best friend, and my husband and I, so there were only four of us in there.

Speaker 2 00:21:13

Okay.

Speaker 2 00:21:14

And then when I,

so the midwife plays the role of the labor nurse as well, correct.

But she also came to your house to check you?

Yes.

And then she goes to the hospital and stays with you?

Speaker 2 00:21:27

Yes.

Speaker 2 00:21:27

In my case, birth center.

Birth center or hospital Or?

Or, yeah.

So D, that's so different than the US but Sorry.

Sorry.

It's just so different.

I'm sure some of my listeners are wondering as well.

So now we have her wanting to break your water to get things going.

Now that things are really going, she wants you to hold off.

Yeah,

Speaker 2 00:21:47

so I didn't hold off.

Speaker 2 00:21:50

Because I also remembered you saying that it was like, trust your gut, trust, your body knows what it's doing.

Speaker 2 00:21:56

This is an actual process.

Speaker 2 00:21:57

So I did end up pushing and I have no regrets on that, but I'm pretty sure I had a death glare for days for that lady that was just burned into her soul.

Speaker 2 00:22:06

But the other midwife showed up.

Speaker 2 00:22:10

I'm in the tub and.

Speaker 2 00:22:13

For everybody listening.

Speaker 2 00:22:15

If you pee, if you poop, that is totally normal during your labor.

Speaker 2 00:22:19

Do not be embarrassed about it.

Speaker 2 00:22:21

I was in a tub.

Speaker 2 00:22:22

They have a fish net for your poop.

Oh, interesting.

That was a fun side note.

Right.

So I, a lot of the hospitals in the US don't actually allow you to do the delivery in the tub.

You can labor in the tub really, but you have to get out and I know it's weird.

Right.

Interesting.

Now birth, birth centers you can.

Speaker 2 00:22:41

See, I have no idea what it is for the hospitals here, but it was a cool experience.

Speaker 2 00:22:45

I absolutely love the tub for pain management, but for labor, it was really cool because by the time the other midwife came and I was actually allowed to push on their standards, it provided so much relief while I was pushed internally as well.

That's amazing.

Like it just, it

Speaker 2 00:23:03

supported my joints so perfectly.

Speaker 2 00:23:05

So.

Speaker 2 00:23:06

By the time I could feel his head coming out.

Speaker 2 00:23:10

Both my midwives are there by this point and I can feel the head, which was so cool, so trippy.

Speaker 2 00:23:16

But also I had a, ugh, like gross, but

yet the poop getting fished out with a fish scoop.

You're like, not it's, I'm good.

Head babies.

Head grossed out,

Speaker 2 00:23:28

baby's head grossed out, but ex cream into around me.

Speaker 2 00:23:32

I'm like, whatever.

It's so funny because like I tell my husband all the time, poop.

That doesn't bother me.

I've had, I've dealt with it so much.

Vaginas, all the stuff that happens there doesn't bother me.

But if you cough up snot and it gets on me.

I might just pass out.

Speaker 2 00:23:51

I can't even now, I still can't do the snot sucker thing on my son because I'm like, Ugh.

Yeah, it's awful.

I know anything respiratory.

I'm like, no, but mama's pooping.

I don't care.

I get excited.

I'm happy.

I know you're doing it right.

Yeah.

Good way to go.

This is a sign.

We're on the right track.

Speaker 2 00:24:06

Exactly.

Speaker 2 00:24:07

My poor husband though, 'cause he was in the tub with me and he's like, that is a sign of love.

Speaker 2 00:24:12

Love.

Speaker 2 00:24:12

I was in there with you while I saw all this.

Speaker 2 00:24:14

Stuff coming outta you.

Speaker 2 00:24:15

It's

so funny.

I just, a completely unrelated story.

So I have two daughters and they're, let's see, five years apart.

My oldest daughter, they were taking a bath together.

Lainey was like two, my oldest daughter's seven and Lainey pooped in the tub.

I was sitting next to the tub or something, maybe on my cell phone, like not completely paying attention, and my older daughter started screaming like a murderer.

Was in the house.

Oh no.

And like I'm like, what is it?

And she's screaming and then she points and there's poop just floating on the toilet.

So when you're saying that, I'm picturing this with you and your husband?

Speaker 2 00:24:56

Yep.

Speaker 2 00:24:57

Oh yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 00:24:58

And then you just bring in a little like I. Really vibrant blue fishnet and just take it out.

Speaker 2 00:25:04

So

you know right now that all the women that are like really panicked about pooping during labor are dying.

So I want all of you guys to take a nice deep cleansing breath and say out loud, if you poop during labor, you're pushing correctly.

It's not bad, okay?

No.

All right.

So poop is scooped out.

Baby's head is there ready to go.

Speaker 2 00:25:29

So my midwife tells my husband, if you would like to catch him, now is the time to come out of the tub.

Speaker 2 00:25:39

And he paused and looked at me and was like, I'm wherever you need me to be.

Speaker 2 00:25:44

And in my really intense, barbaric noise making state, I won't recreate the voice for you, but it was along the lines of if you wanna do this.

Speaker 2 00:25:54

Do it now.

Speaker 2 00:25:54

'cause I'm not promising.

Speaker 2 00:25:55

I'm doing this anytime soon after get out.

Speaker 2 00:25:58

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:25:58

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:25:59

He barely had time to put the gloves on, but he's the one who caught our son and passed him to me.

It's so funny to me, like when I do my birth plan consults with the mamas and the partners.

I always offer to the dad, if you're interested, this is what's called assisting with the delivery, and you can also cut the cord.

And I always tell them, so right.

Before this, they're gonna wanna put gloves on you.

But I personally am like, he's been there before.

Like he's been in the vagina, obviously he's touched the area.

This is his baby.

It's not a sterile procedure because the baby's coming out of the vagina.

So why they put gloves on the partner?

I don't know.

Makes no sense to me.

Speaker 2 00:26:43

I thought it was hilarious 'cause Rick had just been in the tub with me.

Speaker 2 00:26:46

Yeah.

That's a

Speaker 2 00:26:47

beautiful image I painted you and now he has to

put gloves on to touch the stuff.

I don't even get it.

Like that's even more nonsensical to me.

But that again, we went off on a tangent.

So he's got his gloves on, he's ready, he gets the baby.

Speaker 2 00:27:00

He grabs our son and then he passes him to me.

Speaker 2 00:27:03

And I actually have a photo of that first moment oh.

Speaker 2 00:27:07

Of me just holding my son.

Speaker 2 00:27:09

And my husband had a, his hair was really long, so we pulled it back.

Speaker 2 00:27:14

So he is got a man bun and he looks like he's photo bombing.

Speaker 2 00:27:17

Because he's so excited and being, is this a

picture we can share on labor, nurse mama, or is it inappropriate for you to have on social media

Speaker 2 00:27:27

because

you're in the tub?

So I don't know.

Speaker 2 00:27:29

I'm in the tub.

Speaker 2 00:27:30

I'm covered.

Speaker 2 00:27:31

Nothing's showing.

Speaker 2 00:27:32

It just might traumatize some people.

Speaker 2 00:27:33

There is no poop floating in the photo.

Okay.

No nets, no blue nuts.

Speaker 2 00:27:37

No.

Speaker 2 00:27:37

No nuts in line of sight.

Speaker 2 00:27:39

Maybe I'll send it to you and then you can,

all right.

Speaker 2 00:27:42

Gauge for yourself what's appropriate.

Speaker 2 00:27:43

I can

blur stuff too.

I'm more worried about you.

I don't care.

Anything's game with me.

Speaker 2 00:27:49

I literally had a baby at this point.

Speaker 2 00:27:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:27:51

I'm just like, we can do anything.

So I am a woman.

Hear me, RO.

Speaker 2 00:27:56

Exactly.

Speaker 2 00:27:58

So it was baby's born.

Speaker 2 00:28:01

My son's name is Finn.

Oh, I love that.

Speaker 2 00:28:03

And so I'm holding Finn and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is like.

Speaker 2 00:28:08

Holy crap.

Speaker 2 00:28:09

I just ha I have a baby.

Speaker 2 00:28:11

And it was less than two minutes and they had me standing, walking out of the tub while cord is still attached and over to the bed.

Speaker 2 00:28:20

And I caught a bloody hand print on the wall.

Speaker 2 00:28:23

It looked like a murder scene in there.

Speaker 2 00:28:25

And yeah, my husband cut the cord, they weighed him.

Speaker 2 00:28:29

I only had level one tearing.

Speaker 2 00:28:32

Nice.

Speaker 2 00:28:32

But it would not stop bleeding.

Speaker 2 00:28:34

So they did stitch me.

Speaker 2 00:28:36

And which was completely fine.

Speaker 2 00:28:38

And they have a lidocaine spray or a lidocaine gel here that they put on you.

Speaker 2 00:28:43

Okay.

Speaker 2 00:28:43

To help numb the area

first.

Yeah.

And the US just for mamas who go unmedicated in the us, if they do a repair, they're going to give you just a, an injection of lidocaine

Speaker 2 00:28:53

usually.

Speaker 2 00:28:54

Perfect.

Speaker 2 00:28:55

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:28:55

And, but it wasn't bad at all.

Speaker 2 00:28:58

I did have to have Pitocin to get my placenta out.

Speaker 2 00:29:04

So the Pitocin is optional, and for me, I took it just in case, but it was for about 15 minutes.

Speaker 2 00:29:11

Then they started saying, we might have to transfer you to hospital if you don't

because you're bleeding your placenta.

Oh, the placenta, okay.

Speaker 2 00:29:19

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:29:19

So

you're like it all.

After all of this and this beautiful delivery, I might actually have to go to the hospital.

Speaker 2 00:29:28

I was so peeved and I was like, no, but apparently my body responds well to threats.

Speaker 2 00:29:32

'cause then it was like, yeah, where's your sunshine?

Speaker 2 00:29:34

Nice.

Speaker 2 00:29:35

So then they said that you had to go to the bathroom after.

Speaker 2 00:29:38

So I tried to pee and I couldn't, they told me that they needed to put in a catheter.

Speaker 2 00:29:43

Wait, how, how long

after delivery was that?

Speaker 2 00:29:46

20 minutes what?

Speaker 2 00:29:48

2030 minutes.

Speaker 2 00:29:49

Okay.

Speaker 2 00:29:49

So.

Speaker 2 00:29:50

Again, advocating for yourself.

Speaker 2 00:29:52

This is the secondary midwife who I haven't dealt with.

Speaker 2 00:29:55

This is the one who is supposed to be there for my son, not me.

Speaker 2 00:29:58

And she's saying, go to the bathroom, but otherwise we're gonna have to put a catheter in.

Speaker 2 00:30:03

I'm allergic to silicone and rubbers and a bunch of other stuff.

Speaker 2 00:30:07

So I would have to be put on antihistamines if I'm taking, if I have a catheter in me.

Speaker 2 00:30:13

Which I didn't wanna do.

Speaker 2 00:30:14

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:30:14

'cause breast milk and,

well, and would onet happen down there after all that's already happened down there?

Speaker 2 00:30:20

Absolutely.

Speaker 2 00:30:20

I'm like, no freaking kidding.

Speaker 2 00:30:22

I'm tall and I was also in a tub.

Speaker 2 00:30:23

Maybe I was peeing in there and didn't

know it.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:30:25

So I turned around and as politely as I could, I was like, can I have five, 10 minutes?

Speaker 2 00:30:31

Can I just be locked alone?

Speaker 2 00:30:32

Please.

Speaker 2 00:30:34

And 'cause I had no time to breathe.

Speaker 2 00:30:36

And I understand that after you have a baby, you really don't get a lot of time to.

Speaker 2 00:30:40

Process.

Speaker 2 00:30:41

What just happened to you immediately after, but being told, oh, we might have to send you off to the hospital because your placenta isn't here, right this second.

Speaker 2 00:30:51

We've given you a shot.

Speaker 2 00:30:52

It hasn't worked immediately.

Speaker 2 00:30:54

And then that finally settles down, my brain calms down and says, okay, we're fine.

Speaker 2 00:30:58

Oh, you need to go to the bathroom right now.

Speaker 2 00:31:00

Otherwise we're gonna have to do this to you, and we know that's gonna result in medication for you.

Speaker 2 00:31:05

And an allergic reaction, I'm like, oh my gosh, I just wanna be left alone for.

Speaker 2 00:31:10

A wee bit of time process.

Speaker 2 00:31:13

Let me do my best.

Speaker 2 00:31:14

And I managed to go to the shower there and I did manage to pee, which I've never been more excited about in my life.

Speaker 2 00:31:20

So that all worked out.

Speaker 2 00:31:24

And then I was home after about four hours post-delivery.

Speaker 2 00:31:27

So

I'm so like.

Blown away because there's so much about your birth story and your experience that's so beautiful and it's the natural process.

It's going great.

And one of my big pet peeves here in the US which you know Taylor, our team doula is from Toronto.

And so when I interviewed her on the podcast, that was the first I heard about a lot of stuff that happens in Canada that's so much better than the US.

But what I'm blown away about is that even though they've created this beautiful birth experience, birth center, birthplace, they're still doing things that they don't need to do.

I don't understand.

Granted, you just had a baby.

Your timeline might be a little fuzzy, but let's just say within 20 minutes, 25 minutes, they have already threatened to take you to the hospital because your placenta has not come out and they're wanting you to go to the bathroom.

But really it can take, like we really aren't gonna like normally like around 25, 30 minutes is where we're getting a little antsy if the placenta hasn't come out.

So it's just really surprising to me that there wasn't a little more patience, but then, which you're gonna say in a minute, how quickly you went home, which might be part of the reason, I don't know.

So go ahead.

Now you've actually obeyed, you got the threat worked.

Placenta came out.

Your bleeding is doing okay.

I'm assuming you've had Pitocin and baby is skin to skin.

What is baby doing?

Speaker 2 00:33:05

Baby is skin to skin.

Speaker 2 00:33:08

By this point.

Speaker 2 00:33:09

He was a wheel little thing.

Speaker 2 00:33:10

He was six pounds, 1.5 ounces, but born on his due date, so he was skin to skin.

Speaker 2 00:33:16

By this point.

Speaker 2 00:33:17

We were given a steak dinner.

Right.

All right.

Speaker 2 00:33:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:33:23

So both my husband and I got a steak dinner.

You say that like you're embarrassed, like you're like, I know no one else gets a steak dinner, so

Speaker 2 00:33:30

it is so bougie.

Speaker 2 00:33:31

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:33:31

Are

you kidding me?

Nice.

So it's really funny, my second son, so I had my first son at this same hospital.

Then they converted it and renamed it the birth center, right?

And now it was an LDRP, which was very new back then because my sons are older.

And which for those of you guys listen, that means a labor delivery, recovery postpartum room.

Typically in the US you're gonna de labor and deliver in one room, and then you'll get transferred to your postpartum unit, which in hindsight actually is a little better 'cause it's much quieter on the postpartum unit than the labor unit.

So when they did this big promo and everyone who delivered there got an infant car seat and you got a romantic dinner.

The night after the baby was born.

'cause we, we stayed one or two days and so we had the same thing.

We had a steak dinner with roses and like fake wine and all this.

So you're not that bougie.

Laura,

Speaker 2 00:34:28

you have to understand I'm a chicken nugget kind of girl.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:34:31

So I'm getting.

Speaker 2 00:34:32

Steak meal with like nice potatoes and my husband and I are just sitting there.

Speaker 2 00:34:36

What the heck?

Speaker 2 00:34:37

He's got his shirt off.

Speaker 2 00:34:38

I'm completely naked.

Speaker 2 00:34:39

I'm like, this is not how I look.

Speaker 2 00:34:42

Okay,

so I am such a visual person and I did not need to visualize this.

Thank you though.

Speaker 2 00:34:48

Thank you.

Speaker 2 00:34:48

They had me skin to skin.

Speaker 2 00:34:51

And I had just,

yeah.

And

Speaker 2 00:34:52

now you're at a

table eating steak dinner.

Oh no.

I'm

Speaker 2 00:34:55

in my queen size bed that recline.

Oh, okay.

And he's in the bed as well.

Okay.

This is better.

That's a little better of a visual.

I was picturing you guys at a table.

Oh no.

I don't know why, but that's where my mind went.

When you said steak dinner, I pictured what happened with us, which was a team.

No,

Speaker 2 00:35:12

there

was, okay.

So

Speaker 2 00:35:14

a little better?

Speaker 2 00:35:15

No, we were contained.

Speaker 2 00:35:16

Got it.

Speaker 2 00:35:16

I was contained.

Speaker 2 00:35:18

Okay.

Speaker 2 00:35:18

So yeah, that would, that would be very beautiful.

Speaker 2 00:35:20

Would it?

Speaker 2 00:35:20

But yeah, so I had our steak dinner and then four hours after Finn was born, then we were told we could transfer home.

Speaker 2 00:35:28

'cause I was looking good.

Speaker 2 00:35:29

I was bleeding a reasonable amount.

Speaker 2 00:35:31

I was feeling pretty good and I was coherent.

Speaker 2 00:35:35

My husband was doing well, and most importantly, Finn was doing well.

Speaker 2 00:35:38

So we were told we could head home.

It's that it's mind boggling because that, like there's not many people that hear that happens to.

So those of you guys that listen, I'm sure I've got two things happening right now.

Some of my people are like, hell no.

I'm going home at four hours with a brand new human.

And then I've got other people who are like, oh, that's so beautiful and amazing.

So I'm sure there's two schools of thoughts on that.

So I'm really wondering.

What are you two thinking?

Like you just brought a human in the world and you're going home alone with it four hours later.

Speaker 2 00:36:14

So I sat on the back, on the drive over and I had a flashlight on him.

Speaker 2 00:36:20

I was like, he's breathing, he's so, and my husband was just driving.

Speaker 2 00:36:24

Holy shit.

Speaker 2 00:36:25

So we got home and we were just completely.

Speaker 2 00:36:31

Flabbergasted by this point.

Speaker 2 00:36:32

I think we were both in a little bit of shock.

Speaker 2 00:36:34

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:36:35

But my energy was so like, guys, guess what I just did?

Speaker 2 00:36:40

This is really cool.

Speaker 2 00:36:41

And my neighbor was walking by as Rick was helping me out of the car, and he's holding the car seat with Finn and my neighbor's just like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 00:36:52

Like how old's the baby?

Speaker 2 00:36:54

I was like, about four and a half hours.

Speaker 2 00:36:57

And he's like, you're awesome.

Speaker 2 00:36:59

And he's, he's just, you're superhero.

Speaker 2 00:37:01

Incredible.

Speaker 2 00:37:02

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:37:03

And I was like, have a great night.

Speaker 2 00:37:04

Of course it was like five 30 in the morning and yeah, I went inside and a skunk had just passed our house, so thankfully we just missed it.

Speaker 2 00:37:11

That's an interesting

side note.

Speaker 2 00:37:14

Uh, but my parents, my sister and her, her boyfriend were there to greet us as agreed upon 'cause they were taking care of the dog.

Speaker 2 00:37:21

And they got to meet Finn very early on.

Speaker 2 00:37:27

Help me get upstairs, help freaking organized, do whatever we needed to do to get settled.

Speaker 2 00:37:32

And it was cool.

Speaker 2 00:37:33

You've seen him get the hell outta my house and let us be,

yeah.

These are my boundaries.

They're set.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:37:38

Boundaries matter.

Speaker 2 00:37:39

Yes,

they do.

Speaker 2 00:37:40

So yeah, that is my.

Speaker 2 00:37:42

That is my birth story.

I love it so much, Laura.

Like it's such a unique one for us here in the US to hear, unless it's a home birth, but there's just so much.

I love it so much.

So tell me a couple things.

I always ask if there was anything you could have done differently during your pregnancy, what would it be?

Speaker 2 00:38:04

Ooh.

Speaker 2 00:38:05

During my pregnancy, I would have started my birth course sooner.

Speaker 2 00:38:09

I love it, and I'm not saying that because this is your podcast.

Speaker 2 00:38:12

I genuinely wish I had started having that community and having that education sooner to chill me out a little bit and to feel connected to other people who were going through really similar things.

There's such power in that there really, there's so much power in that.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:38:29

I find that there's a pressure for women to have such a smile on their face and handle pregnancy with so much grace and without complaint.

Speaker 2 00:38:38

And same thing postpartum.

Speaker 2 00:38:40

You're supposed to snap back like you're incredible.

Speaker 2 00:38:43

That's not how this works.

Speaker 2 00:38:45

So those moments when you are in the shower looking down, being like, oh, I guess I can't shave my legs anymore.

Speaker 2 00:38:52

And being bummed about that.

Speaker 2 00:38:53

That's okay.

Speaker 2 00:38:54

And as silly as that sounds, that community, having those people to converse with and say, Hey, I'm feeling overwhelmed by this, or I'm feeling really excited about this, or I want to eat everything.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 00:39:05

It's nice having that community.

Speaker 2 00:39:07

So I, I'd say reaching out would be something.

I love that.

And it's so funny, and I promise you guys listening, I do not like.

Pre-warn my birth stories, my students that I'm gonna ask that, and I don't like, we don't practice that, but almost every one of the birth stories where I do an interview with my students, they all say the same thing.

Like they wish they would've started earlier.

And I'm just saying this to you guys, the birth education is so important, but being able to hang out with me and my team, doula and the other moms, that's where the power really is.

It really is.

So unique, and that's why we've opened up the membership so that maybe I've got a fourth time mom who's, I don't really need a birth class, but she needs the support and she needs the community.

So that's why we've done that.

And then for my moms who may be trying to conceive, or maybe eight or nine weeks pregnant, they can always join the membership and then when they're ready for the birth class, they can get the birth class at a discount.

So that's why we've changed things up a little bit.

'cause as you know.

We offer so much insight I we just counted last night and right now for those of you guys listening, 'cause I don't know when this will air, it's mid-November and Taylor counted.

We have 18 workshops, Laura, in the next 44 days before the end of the year.

And the majority of those are postpartum and MAMA workshops and baby.

So you should be taking advantage of it for sure.

For sure.

Sure.

And we just, we love our community so much.

Okay, so now what was the thing, if there's one thing you look at your labor and your birth, your pregnancy, what is one thing that is just like your thing that just makes you feel like that you loved the most about your birth?

Speaker 2 00:40:51

I loved my environment.

Speaker 2 00:40:53

As chaotic as everything got at times my support people were.

Speaker 2 00:41:01

I needed them to be in that moment.

Speaker 2 00:41:03

I needed Raylin to be tough and making me focus and intense eye contact, getting me through.

Speaker 2 00:41:11

And I needed my husband to be there to be soft and to say, I'm here for you.

Speaker 2 00:41:15

I love you, you're strong.

Speaker 2 00:41:18

And my environment had dim lights and chill music, and that was.

Speaker 2 00:41:23

Perfect for me.

Speaker 2 00:41:25

I that I think we nailed.

I love that so much.

Your environment is so important.

Thank you so much for coming today and sharing your story.

I am so honored that we got to play a part in this beautiful birth story.

Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 00:41:41

Oh seriously, thank you.

Speaker 2 00:41:42

A million times.

Speaker 2 00:41:42

'cause you, you helped me out.

You're welcome.

Oh man, I hope you enjoyed that episode of the Birth Experience with Labor Nurse Mama, where we broke down Laura's water, birth pooping.

All as always.

I will see you guys again next Friday.

Bye for now.