1 00:00:02,950 --> 00:00:09,590 Steven Webb: Hello and welcome to Stillness in the Storms. I'm Steven Webb and this is the podcast for anyone who's going 2 00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:17,570 Steven Webb: through something hard. No quick fixes, no empty advice. Just an honest conversation from someone who's been 3 00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:25,430 Steven Webb: through a thing or two. I want to start today's episode with a personal story. And 4 00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:30,910 Steven Webb: this came to me about three o'clock in the morning when I was thinking about my next episode, what I 5 00:00:30,910 --> 00:00:36,900 Steven Webb: was going to talk about. And my mind just would not let go of a couple of things. I thought, 6 00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:42,810 Steven Webb: I'm gonna do a podcast about letting go. And in that moment, I lied down and I thought, right, well, 7 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:48,130 Steven Webb: I'm just gonna accept the fact that my mind's gonna think all the rest of the night. And I just 8 00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:54,330 Steven Webb: lied there and went, go on then. And I think I was asleep in about 30 seconds. But the story 9 00:00:54,330 --> 00:01:01,290 Steven Webb: I want to tell you, when I left hospital after my spinal cord injury, when I broke my neck, 10 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:08,830 Steven Webb: I was about 20 years old. I had a manual wheelchair. A lightweight one. My family and my friends had 11 00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:14,970 Steven Webb: fundraised for me. It was awesome. It had a custom paint job. I think it cost a lot of money 12 00:01:14,970 --> 00:01:15,550 Steven Webb: at the time. 13 00:01:16,980 --> 00:01:24,350 Steven Webb: And I've always been someone that likes to have the best. So... It kind of mattered to me. 14 00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:32,270 Steven Webb: So I here I was with this wonderful, amazing, lightweight wheelchair. But I could barely push the chair over 15 00:01:32,270 --> 00:01:38,370 Steven Webb: the carpet in my own home. I wouldn't be able to push it out the end of my road, let 16 00:01:38,370 --> 00:01:45,400 Steven Webb: alone out through my gate or my door. I couldn't, like, tilt it back. I couldn't go over a few 17 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:51,780 Steven Webb: stones or anything like that. I certainly he couldn't push it up any gradient because my triceps were paralysed. My 18 00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:52,680 Steven Webb: hands are paralysed. 19 00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:59,020 Steven Webb: And there was one day when I was here, I managed to get myself into the bedroom and I was 20 00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:01,580 Steven Webb: playing a computer game and I 21 00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:06,990 Steven Webb: ended up spasming and coming out over the back and I ended up my feet in the air and lying 22 00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:12,230 Steven Webb: there and I couldn't get... The lifeline that was around my neck was just around the back of my neck 23 00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:16,270 Steven Webb: and I couldn't get it to press it. I think I was there for about two and a half hours 24 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:22,870 Steven Webb: before someone came home and found me like it. But I was still stubborn, so I would spend my days 25 00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:30,350 Steven Webb: with my back to the wall so I didn't fall out again. And just watching Tv, you know, country music 26 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:37,210 Steven Webb: channel and turning the Tv over from one channel to the other. I spent hours and days doing this. And 27 00:02:38,270 --> 00:02:44,460 Steven Webb: I thought, well, I'm still independent. You know, if the phone goes, I might just about get to it. Bear 28 00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:50,020 Steven Webb: in mind, this was like 1992. So we didn't have phones that you could sit on your lap or anything 29 00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:54,990 Steven Webb: like that, or not one that I could pick up in my hand anyway. So if the phone went I 30 00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:58,970 Steven Webb: it was like about a 20 chance I'd actually get there before it rang off. 31 00:03:00,030 --> 00:03:06,550 Steven Webb: But somehow I thought I was independent. My friends would come and take me out down to the nightclubs or 32 00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:11,330 Steven Webb: down to the pub. They'd push me all the way down the hill and all the way back and That 33 00:03:11,330 --> 00:03:18,710 Steven Webb: felt like independence to me. And then a social worker or someone or my dad or someone looked up and 34 00:03:18,710 --> 00:03:24,930 Steven Webb: said, well, why don't you get an electric wheelchair? It's like, no, not me. I'm not disabled. I'm not that 35 00:03:24,930 --> 00:03:32,690 Steven Webb: disabled. And anybody that's getting older and suddenly finally cannot walk that far. And I don't know what it's called 36 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:38,430 Steven Webb: in the Us or over in Australia, but in the Uk we have blue badges for people that can park 37 00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:43,200 Steven Webb: closer to the stores. And I know loads of people that could do with a blue badge, but they won't 38 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:50,300 Steven Webb: do it because, no, not me. I'm not disabled. A little side note here while I was editing. I noticed, 39 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:57,330 Steven Webb: talking about the blue badge, I had been in a wheelchair 20 years before I applied for my very first 40 00:03:57,330 --> 00:04:02,710 Steven Webb: blue badge. That's how much I wasn't going to be disabled. Anyway, 41 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:09,890 Steven Webb: back to the podcast. And I was very much like that then. I would see other people in wheelchairs I 42 00:04:09,890 --> 00:04:15,150 Steven Webb: go oh man, I feel for them. Couldn't imagine me in the wheelchair Totally forgetting that I was in a 43 00:04:15,150 --> 00:04:15,450 Steven Webb: wheelchair. 44 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:24,880 Steven Webb: So I kind of gave in to give it a go just to keep people quiet. And I I ended 45 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:30,440 Steven Webb: up buying the very first one that was demoed to me. It looked a bit different. Thinking back now, it 46 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:38,390 Steven Webb: was awful. It's the most uncomfortable seat. It was... Great big back wheels and all that. But it suddenly 47 00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:45,000 Steven Webb: gave me independence. I could go out and about. And it made me realise that it was more about me 48 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,900 Steven Webb: accepting I was disabled, 49 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,220 Steven Webb: accepting my position, than it was me letting go. 50 00:04:52,090 --> 00:04:56,250 Steven Webb: I was trying to let go of that version of me. 51 00:04:57,740 --> 00:05:02,740 Steven Webb: Instead, I didn't know what version of me was me at that time. I don't know what it is now, 52 00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:09,430 Steven Webb: even, incidentally. But that version of me was not the one that I was trying to live up to. So 53 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:17,150 Steven Webb: when I just accepted it, I went, okay, I'll give this a go. Everything changed. Now then, it's 54 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:24,890 Steven Webb: something I work on constantly. But that's what I want to talk about in today's podcast is about the difference 55 00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:32,260 Steven Webb: between acceptance and letting go. So yeah, that's what I want to talk about in today's episode. 56 00:05:32,260 --> 00:05:38,200 Steven Webb: But just before we get there, I just want to say, before we go deeper, I want to take a 57 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:45,560 Steven Webb: moment to say thank you. This podcast is completely free and there are no adverts, no sponsors, and no one 58 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:51,800 Steven Webb: is paying me to sell you anything. The only reason I can do, keep doing this, and the reason this 59 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:58,520 Steven Webb: podcast and all my other work continues is because of the kind people that treat me to a coffee. And 60 00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:05,510 Steven Webb: those small donations pay for everything. So a heartfelt thank you to this week's episode sponsors. 61 00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:12,430 Steven Webb: No supporters, no coffee buyers. You're just awesome guys ruf Nina and Ray. 62 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:20,250 Steven Webb: Skillet, Cheryl chrissia Penny Jenna and Maya. Angie, Sean and Stefan. And 63 00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:26,670 Steven Webb: there was a couple of anonymous again this week. Thank you. And also, of course, there's the monthly donators that 64 00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:33,260 Steven Webb: I think next week I'll dedicate the show just to the monthly donators. So if you'd like to support the 65 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:38,040 Steven Webb: podcast, you can buy me a coffee. The link is in the show notes and you can sign up for 66 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:45,430 Steven Webb: my weekly calm newsletter. I'm actually starting to do a weekly now so But let's carry on. So, 67 00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:53,410 Steven Webb: letting go. Two little words that everyone loves to throw around. Let go of control. Let go of worry. 68 00:06:53,410 --> 00:07:00,630 Steven Webb: Let go of the past. Let go of that relationship. Let go of the outcome. Let go of expectations. And 69 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:08,670 Steven Webb: it all sounds beautiful, doesn't Very wise. Very spiritual. Very new age. You can imagine it 70 00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:15,590 Steven Webb: written in a nice font on someone's Instagram. And I've probably liked them myself. When we learn to let go, 71 00:07:15,590 --> 00:07:23,010 Steven Webb: things become lighter. You know, you drop the bags and you're no longer held back. All the analogies. But here's 72 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:30,930 Steven Webb: my question. How? How do you actually do that? How do you actually let go? And it sounds so 73 00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:37,880 Steven Webb: simple. I think there's a real problem with the phrase let go. And I want to be honest about it. 74 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:45,800 Steven Webb: Because I think it's caused more stress than it's ever relieved in a lot of people. And people 75 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:50,960 Steven Webb: are still asking me now how to let go. And how many times have you tried to let go or 76 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:58,460 Steven Webb: something and it's still there months and years on? The problem is this. When someone tells you to let go, 77 00:07:58,460 --> 00:08:04,650 Steven Webb: your mind has to focused on what you're trying to let go. Whether it's a memory, whether it's a just 78 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:12,650 Steven Webb: a thought, whether it's a past, whether it's a physical disability or anything you You have to bring 79 00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:16,810 Steven Webb: it to mind to let it go. So you have to be reminded of it. The minute you're reminded of 80 00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:23,510 Steven Webb: it, the body and the mind takes notice and puts an importance on it. And that analogy I I like 81 00:08:23,510 --> 00:08:30,370 Steven Webb: to use in a different contexts Try not to think of the bear running towards you with machete and donuts. 82 00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:35,810 Steven Webb: Just don't think about it. I want you to let that go. Get that image out of your head of 83 00:08:35,810 --> 00:08:41,910 Steven Webb: the bear. You can. It's really, really hard. Or they say the pink elephant in it. Imagine a flying pink 84 00:08:41,910 --> 00:08:47,430 Steven Webb: elephant. There you go I'll put some spots on it. Now we're thinking about it. But don't think about it. 85 00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:53,840 Steven Webb: It's impossible. But I think it goes deeper than that. I think it's harder than that. That's just a simple, 86 00:08:53,840 --> 00:09:01,420 Steven Webb: easy example. But when you when your body latches onto a thought, a feeling, an 87 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:08,350 Steven Webb: experience, it uses it to protect you. And because that protection is 88 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:16,340 Steven Webb: a tangible thing that helps you, it does protect you, it's evolved in 89 00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:23,870 Steven Webb: order to help us survive, you're actually telling the body to forget something that is incredibly important. 90 00:09:23,870 --> 00:09:30,610 Steven Webb: But if you accept that that danger is there and the body goes, okay, you've accepted now, I don't have 91 00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:38,430 Steven Webb: to keep reminding you of it. And I think that little shift makes all the difference. So you're lying in 92 00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:44,890 Steven Webb: bed and at three in the morning and worrying about something, and you tell yourself, I need to let this 93 00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:52,510 Steven Webb: go. And when you're worrying about that thing and you're also stressed because you can't let it go, you've added 94 00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:57,650 Steven Webb: a second layer. You've added an importance to it. And then you start turning over in the bed and you 95 00:09:57,650 --> 00:10:03,070 Steven Webb: bang your head on the pillow. It's just like, just stop thinking about it. But when you, just like I 96 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:08,810 Steven Webb: said at the beginning of the podcast, this is where this episode come from When you just go, okay, think 97 00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:09,310 Steven Webb: about it. 98 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,480 Steven Webb: I'm listening 99 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:18,620 Steven Webb: okay And do nothing with it. It's like, ah. And 100 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:26,100 Steven Webb: the mind will go on to something else. And the more you do that, the less that that thing that 101 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:33,680 Steven Webb: you're trying to let go becomes important in your life. It's like quicksand. The more you struggle, the more you 102 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:39,400 Steven Webb: fight, the more you try to force your way out, the deeper you sink in the The letting go becomes 103 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,140 Steven Webb: another task on your task list to do. 104 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:49,710 Steven Webb: If you've got to sit down to physically do a meditation oh let go. And I've done a meditation to 105 00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:55,230 Steven Webb: go with this podcast, but it's not about sitting down and letting go. It's about sitting down and accepting. If 106 00:10:55,810 --> 00:11:03,410 Steven Webb: you accept this moment, like I accepted my disability only in that moment, trust me. It's taken many more years 107 00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:09,030 Steven Webb: to accept many more layers of that, and I still haven't accepted it all because I don't know what is 108 00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:15,540 Steven Webb: going to trigger me next. The vulnerability and asking people for help, God, it's still there. But 109 00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:22,260 Steven Webb: the letting go, if you really truly want to let go of everything, it will be an endless and thankless 110 00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:25,620 Steven Webb: task for your body. Because your body will fight you all the way. 111 00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:30,190 Steven Webb: So, if letting go isn't quite the answer, 112 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:36,920 Steven Webb: like I've talked about it, I've already mentioned it, just think of the word acceptance. 113 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:46,850 Steven Webb: I know acceptance can sound really passive, like as if, what's the point? It's not really doing something. It's not 114 00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:54,240 Steven Webb: the hard labor It may sound like you're giving up, but it's not. It's actually one of the bravest and 115 00:11:54,240 --> 00:12:01,660 Steven Webb: most powerful things a human can do. There's real braveness and courage in 116 00:12:01,660 --> 00:12:04,520 Steven Webb: accepting what is. And 117 00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:12,190 Steven Webb: here's the difference as I see it. Letting go says, I need to push this away. I need to get 118 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:20,090 Steven Webb: rid of this feeling, this situation, this part of my life. Acceptance says, this is here. I see it. I'm 119 00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:26,690 Steven Webb: not going to pretend it isn't there. And I'm going to open my hands and let it be what it 120 00:12:26,690 --> 00:12:27,030 Steven Webb: is. 121 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:35,700 Steven Webb: Think of it like holding a butterfly. If you close your hand too tight, you can injure the butterfly but 122 00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:41,480 Steven Webb: If you hold your hand gently, keeping it closed enough to keep the butterfly in there, and you don't want 123 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:47,590 Steven Webb: it to go. That takes a lot of work, a lot of nourishing, a lot of things to do with 124 00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:54,800 Steven Webb: it. But if you imagine just opening your hand and then trying to force the butterfly to go, but it 125 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:55,440 Steven Webb: doesn't want to go. 126 00:12:56,300 --> 00:13:00,500 Steven Webb: It's just staying there on your hand. It's got nowhere to fly away to. And you're like, no far away 127 00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:07,380 Steven Webb: pushing your hand. Come on, go, go. That's frustrating, right? You want to blow on it. You want to encourage 128 00:13:07,380 --> 00:13:13,790 Steven Webb: it. But what happens if you just open your hand and accept that it's there? It's no longer going to 129 00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:18,410 Steven Webb: affect you. You're not going to get angry with it. You're just going to go, oh. And 130 00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:21,890 Steven Webb: then you're focused on other things. And 131 00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:29,070 Steven Webb: that's what happened with me in the wheelchair. I didn't force myself to let go of anything. I could I 132 00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:32,050 Steven Webb: couldn't suddenly be not disabled. So 133 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:39,750 Steven Webb: I released that attachment to my manual chair of And the manual chair wasn't the attachment. It was the attachment 134 00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:47,520 Steven Webb: to I'm not that disabled. My attachment to my old life. And to who I thought I should have 135 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:54,670 Steven Webb: been when not accepting who I am. It's like, I'm 53 years old now. Every morning I wake up, my 136 00:13:54,670 --> 00:14:02,340 Steven Webb: body reminds me I'm 53. But my brain thinks I'm anywhere between 15 and 40. Given 137 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:08,560 Steven Webb: what I'm feeding like on that day or who I'm hanging around with. Or how stupid and childish or ignorant 138 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,680 Steven Webb: or wise I might be feeding 139 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:17,290 Steven Webb: But my body will remind me constantly. And no matter how much I try to fight it. 140 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,750 Steven Webb: Just accepting the fact that my body is 53. 141 00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:28,330 Steven Webb: I'm then easier with it. I'm not fighting it. I'm not angry with it. I'm more accepting of it. And 142 00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:30,470 Steven Webb: then I can do something with it. 143 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:40,350 Steven Webb: Because when I was refusing to be disabled, refusing to be disabled, that seems such a funny 144 00:14:40,350 --> 00:14:44,890 Steven Webb: sentence. But when I was refusing to accept the fact that my life had changed, 145 00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:49,170 Steven Webb: it was all hassle, trying to keep it up. And I just couldn't. 146 00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:58,410 Steven Webb: You know, I was suddenly free. I I was free. Not free from my disability. I'm still disabled. That 147 00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:06,270 Steven Webb: hasn't changed and it won't change. But free from the war I was waging against myself and reality. Free 148 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:13,440 Steven Webb: from the exhausting daily fight with the way things were. And suddenly my life was open and free So 149 00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:20,950 Steven Webb: now you might be thinking, that's a lovely story and I get what you mean. I totally get it. Acceptance 150 00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:27,450 Steven Webb: is wonderful. Change the mean. And you may say, well, I haven't got that bigger story I'm not in a 151 00:15:27,450 --> 00:15:29,610 Steven Webb: wheelchair. How does it really apply to me? 152 00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:37,790 Steven Webb: Well, my answer is this. We all are in wheelchairs of some kind. There's something holding you back. There's something 153 00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:45,590 Steven Webb: that you're refusing to bring to the surface. There's something that maybe an maybe A 154 00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:53,800 Steven Webb: situation or something that you just, it isn't that you you want to forgive but you cannot let 155 00:15:53,800 --> 00:16:01,390 Steven Webb: go. And you almost want to forget it or different things. But you're like just tensed and you're trying to 156 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,200 Steven Webb: force it to go. 157 00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:11,980 Steven Webb: And the acceptance is the twofold. Accepting it and then it will let go 158 00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:18,890 Steven Webb: by itself. It has to let go of you. I know that sounds really strange when it's a thought or 159 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:25,950 Steven Webb: something but it letting go of you is the other way around. Suddenly a subconscious mind won't bring it to 160 00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:30,770 Steven Webb: mind. Suddenly when you see that person or when you see a situation, you won't be triggered by it. 161 00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:35,230 Steven Webb: Everybody's different. Maybe 162 00:16:36,670 --> 00:16:41,050 Steven Webb: your body, things are changing. These aches and pains. Maybe 163 00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:48,250 Steven Webb: it's a role you've lost, a job. We were talking about roles last week. A position, the identity have been 164 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:56,040 Steven Webb: needed. Talking about that very much last week and the newsletter. But instead of sitting with this discomfort that 165 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:04,020 Steven Webb: of that change, just you're scrambling to replace it. Fill the gap or prove you're still valuable. Just accept your 166 00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:11,940 Steven Webb: new life, your current situation. So I pretty much spoke for enough today, I think. And what I'm going 167 00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:19,690 Steven Webb: to suggest generally is that you consider just accepting whatever it is. Not approving of it. It's not 168 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:27,310 Steven Webb: saying it's okay. If it's about forgiveness, it's not saying you forgive them or different things. That's a whole different 169 00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:35,070 Steven Webb: story. I'm just saying you're accepting this present moment. You're accepting the situation. Not pretending it doesn't 170 00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:39,430 Steven Webb: her Just acknowledging that it's there and loosening your grip on it a little. 171 00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:48,270 Steven Webb: Because here's what I've learned. When you accept, you create space. Space that was previously filled with fighting 172 00:17:48,270 --> 00:17:56,110 Steven Webb: and resisting and clenching. And into that space you can move. Opportunities can arrive. New parts of 173 00:17:56,110 --> 00:18:03,890 Steven Webb: yourself can emerge. A new life, a new part, a new a new direction So I want to leave you 174 00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:11,550 Steven Webb: with something small and practical. Something you can try today. So at some point, find the quiet moment. It doesn't 175 00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:16,580 Steven Webb: have to be long. Just a few minutes will do. And think about something in your life that you've been 176 00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:17,760 Steven Webb: trying to let go of. 177 00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:26,000 Steven Webb: Something you've been telling yourself and that over and over again that you shouldn't be bothered by it. And instead 178 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:32,290 Steven Webb: of trying to push it away, I want you to try something different. In your mind or even physically, if 179 00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:39,350 Steven Webb: it helps, just open your hands, palms up, and say to yourself quietly, this is here. 180 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:43,510 Steven Webb: I'm not going to fight it today. And 181 00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:45,030 Steven Webb: that's it. 182 00:18:45,870 --> 00:18:52,150 Steven Webb: You're not solving anything. You're not letting go. You're just putting down the rope for a moment. 183 00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:55,450 Steven Webb: You're stepping out with a tug of war. 184 00:18:56,950 --> 00:19:00,330 Steven Webb: So notice how it feels. And 185 00:19:01,490 --> 00:19:05,810 Steven Webb: if it just feels good for a few seconds, just allow it to be what it is. 186 00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:11,250 Steven Webb: It's not about letting go. It's just about accepting. 187 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,940 Steven Webb: So here's the one takeaway from today. 188 00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:23,650 Steven Webb: Freedom is not about letting go. Freedom is about acceptance. And when you try to force something away, you keep 189 00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:30,470 Steven Webb: it alive. When you accept it truly and truly accept it, you take away its power from over you. 190 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,540 Steven Webb: You open your hand and you can breathe. 191 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,890 Steven Webb: And in that breath, you are free. 192 00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:45,850 Steven Webb: That's what happened to me when I went into a grey electric wheelchair all those years ago. My stubbornness got 193 00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:53,750 Steven Webb: out of the way. I accepted my small part of reality. And the whole world ended up being mine. I 194 00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:59,770 Steven Webb: could do things I many So many things you've seen in my life what I've done would not have happened 195 00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:01,270 Steven Webb: if I didn't accept things. 196 00:20:03,130 --> 00:20:09,780 Steven Webb: So thank you for listening. And God, it's been a long day. I'm so tired so But I wanted to 197 00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:14,740 Steven Webb: record this podcast before I went to bed because I've got a busy day tomorrow and I want to get 198 00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:15,440 Steven Webb: out the weekend. 199 00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:19,650 Steven Webb: So take care of yourself and I love you.