On this week's episode, we are absolutely delighted to introduce our friend Terry Leftery from Dunstressing, your personal coach. So welcome Terry.

guys. Good to be here. Good to see you. Haven't seen you in a while.

Terry, we invited you on because we know that you do lots of work with ADIs, driving instructors, trainee driving instructors, introducing different games that they can bring into their driving lessons. And so we invited you on to talk about the same subject, but with a twist. How can we play games or how could our nervous, anxious listeners perhaps bring in some of those games for themselves to help them build confidence and maybe start. setting goals and achieving their goals.

Well, the reason I think games are such a great tool to use in, in sessions and, and by yourself is because we've been doing it since the day they were born. And it's a natural way of taking information in or learning, you know, you say to a kid when we play a game, it's excitement, it's yay, it's jump up and down, and we don't lose that as adults, I mean who doesn't like playing games? So, in terms of effectiveness, I think it's a really effective tool that we can use on ourselves, with other people, and we often, Create games In our own little worlds, you know And I'm, I'm sure people listening have got their own little games they play so for instance, I don't tend to throw things in a waste basket in the office. I, I throw things and it's a game to try and get one in, maybe left handed, right handed, maybe over my head. But we all create these games, so, you know, it's something that we, that we naturally do. And, I think it's really helpful. For motivation, for confidence, creative thinking skills, critical thinking skills if you're in a car. And, uh, I think it's like I said before, it's a really useful tool to, help solve problems.

So just as an example for people that are listening, Terry, what sort of games in the car could we play that would help alleviate some of those nerve stresses or anxieties? in their own driving.

Something that springs to mind straight away is the Day at the Zoo game. And, you can play this, you know, in, in the car by yourself. If you're concerned, if you have worries about what other drivers are thinking of you, am I going fast enough the car behind? Am I holding them up? Should I've gone now from a junction? Is imagine what animal you'd like that driver to be behind you. And when I play this with people, they normally come up with a cuddly, cuddly dog or a cat or, big cuddly bear. that kind of, that kind of answer. So when you are sitting at a junction and you think, you know, the other driver's getting, you know, stressed, waiting for me. I should have gone out on, you know, just look in your mirror and see that person as that lovely. Cuddly animal with a nice cuddly friendly face on and that, you know, you don't see them as an enemy. You kind of change the way you see them to a, to a nice friendly, cuddly dog, maybe even your dog. So that's, that's something that you could use. Just like I said, if you're by yourself and you feel a bit stressed about what the drivers behind you are thinking,

So that would definitely work for someone that has social concerns and worried about what others are thinking of them, doesn't it?

absolutely, absolutely.

Yeah, and that is one that comes up quite a lot, isn't it? With people who come to us for help, they're often worried about what other people are thinking. So yeah, I really like that, that sort of change of perception, changing things around a little bit. Because actually, We're not mindreaders. We don't know what the other person behind us is really thinking. So that just helps us control and manage some of those thought distortions, some of those unhelpful thinking habits.

Yeah, and if you ask people what they imagine the driver behind them is, they'll say things like a snarling wolf or a snake or a, you know, a lion tiger. And it is absolutely right. There are, there are thought distortions, it's just what we assume in our head.

Great. So if you're thinking of someone that's got a, let's look at a skill, like maybe moving off, you know, you're at a busy junction and it's a busy road that you're joining. And that, that can sometimes, Make people feel very anxious because, can I move away quick enough so I don't slow people down? let's take that into a game situation that people can use, to help them improve their skills. Yeah. Business skills, improve their skills rather than a, we've talked one there about a fort that people have. How can we improve through a game our skills in driving.

Well, for that one, it's, the game that springs to mind straight away is the cops and robbers. You can go off somewhere and that's quiet road and just practice this, get your seatbelt on. Get the car ready to move. But open the door and you imagine you are, it's up to you can call yourself a robber or a cop. but you're a robber and you've just robbed a bank and your getaway driver was ill. You're the getaway driver as well as the bank robber. And you've literally just jumped in the car. The cops are on their way. The alarms are ringing from the bank. You can hear the sirens coming. They're getting closer. So you create that pressure. Even that's a game. You create that pressure. And it's just, right, get away as quick as you can. You've got to shut the door, get your car in gear, get the handbrake off, get in and get, get moving. And just see if that helps. See if that, just practice that. Create that pressure in your head. Police are coming, blah, blah, blah. and just, can you go, can you go consistently? And then you can prove to yourself, you're being creative with your, with your skills and you're making that connection between, can I do it to, this is just going on in practice, yes, I can do it, and then go and practice in the road, go and see if it worked. And if you want to pretend you're the cop, you know, there's a bank robbery going on, they're about to get away, you've got to get there quick, catch the baddies. So it works either way. And again, it's very emotional and we all know how. how important the emotions are in learning.

And I suppose that's, you know, taking that into that place where they feel anxious, isn't it? And then saying, right, I've done it there. So now what I can do is I can go to those type of junctions and then put the same practice into play.

Yeah, absolutely. And if you really want to challenge yourself, if you're really thinking that, you know what, I've got this, go to those challenging places in Russia. And test yourself and rush out when you know, there's going to be huge, you know, there's going to be people where you know, it's going to be time getting out of that, that junction. We all know, we all have in our area that junction. There's a nightmare to get out of. and then once you do that, I mean, confidence then should, naturally, uh, improve and then that will help you in other areas and transfer to other areas and you can transfer that belief that you can change the way you perceive your driving, others driving and use it in different areas.

That makes sense to me because Often what we would say to somebody is to go and practice a skill in a quiet area. And you're quite right. When they go and practice a skill in a quiet area, they haven't got the same pressures. So quite likely what they're going to come back to us and say, well, I can do it where it's quiet. The problem is that really busy set of traffic lights or junction or whatever. So yeah, playing that game is that way of adding in the pressure within the quiet area and the practice so that you really are making it as realistic. So that it is more transferable. So, yeah, I really like that, cops and robbers, and I like the fact that you can choose to be either, and of course, you still got to do all the things like your observations and the safety, because whether you're a cop or a robber, you need to be moving that car away safely, but as quickly as possible. So you still have to do all of the things that you need to do to make a good getaway.

Absolutely. Don't just pull away without looking, obviously. Yeah.

So this is, you know, a game that you can use in a quieter to build the skill and then take it forward into the, the areas that aren't skilled. One of the, I suppose, the areas of concern for a lot of people. Uh, like, motorways, faster moving traffic and, you know, this comes up again quite a lot, once people because they probably haven't practiced it enough. Whereas we've talked about junctions and get in a way what, you've practiced that a lot in your training and potentially after you've passed your test, you know, that's what you do all the time. now we're onto the faster moving roads. what can we do? That's going to help alleviate some of those issues.

yeah, you're absolutely right with motorways. It's, and the reason is a lot of people struggle with motorways and we get lots of calls, as you know, care from people on motorway refreshers, they'd never driven on land like them, because they didn't, they weren't allowed to know when they were learning, until a few years ago. And so a lot of people, their first time in a motorway is uh, scary time and they don't really know what they're doing because no one's ever told And they just can't kind of tend to do what. What mom and dad do on the motorway, or what their friends do on the motorway, or what they see from other drivers on the motorway. And so yeah, it's not surprising, that people do struggle at high speed and they do struggle at motorways. something, this is a game I actually play sometimes when I'm on the motorway, just if I'm on a long trip. I call it the cat's eye minefield. and it's just, I just pretend that the cat size a minds and I try and keep all four tires off of the minds when I'm changing lanes and I just play a little game and try and last see how long I can last with them, with all four tires intact. And it's just, it's just a way of. Keeping alert, keeping me comfortable, taking my mind off, maybe what is kind of attacking my confidence or my comfort on a motorway. so that's, that's one thing I do. another one you could play is I call it the Olympic overtake. And I've, I've done this game for a while now with other people and it's, it's very useful. And again, it's something you can do by yourself. if overtaking is, is an issue, if you're not comfortable about overtaking, set yourself targets and it can be a target you like, you could go out and say, right, on this motorway trip, I'm going to attempt at least. three overtakes. And if you're, you get your three overtakes and you're comfortable doing it and you do it, you've got a bronze medal and you can say, well, okay, well, three is my bronze. Five is going to be my silver medal. And you know, if you get your temp five and then you, you get your silver medal and 10 is gold. If I complete, if I'm brave enough, uh, have a go at 10 overtakes, that's a gold medal. And you can assign a reward to each colour So a bronze medal might be, I'm just thinking of treats and kids and kids heads, you know, a bronze might be a pack of Maoams you know, a silver might be a bag of Maltesers, and a gold medal might be a chocolate eclair. Now something like that, you know, gold, gold, if you get gold, you deserve something special. So give yourself allow yourself that special treat. It doesn't have to be treats. It could be I'll allow myself to watch the episode of, I don't know, Game of Thrones that I haven't watched yet. I'll give myself a title. That's my gold medal. If I go and do 10 overtakes or 15 or whatever your gold medal is going to be, I'm going to allow myself a cup of tea and a biscuit when I go,

Nice. Yeah.

there.

Yeah, that's what I like with that game. It gives, motivation, but you're also getting something for doing it, aren't you?

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And you've owned it as well. You've set your gold, silver, bronze, you've decided which one you're going to go for. So you own it and you know, like you say, it's great motivation and you deserve that reward. You've attached to that, that middle. So emotionally it works as well.

Yeah, it's that recognition of achievement, acknowledging your successes, because that's a big part of confidence building. So when you give yourself a reward, you're actually taking that time to acknowledge your success, that you achieved your goal, and that's really important. But also with those gains, what's great is it keeps their mind on their driving. So it doesn't leave room for those negative thoughts or things that might be worrying about them because actually if they're focusing on, on either of those games, they're keeping their mind exactly where we want their minds and their thoughts, which is on their driving. But I suppose my mind now is thinking, okay, so you're on the moat, you're overtaking and you're playing those games. But for some people, being able to get to a certain speed to be able to overtake is the challenge. So there's a challenge before that, isn't there? what sort of game could you play for people that are potentially, they need to move their car slightly faster. They're not quite going quite fast enough. They're not keeping up with the flow of traffic, or as the driving test says, you're not making progress.

Yeah. Yeah. One that springs straight to mind, Kev, is the Dick Dastardly from, Wacky Racers. You pick a car that's a long way behind you, it's kind of hatching you, you can see it in the back, and that, that's Dick Dastardly, you're, you're driving your favorite, car from the show, those of you that are old enough, cause I, I've, I've done a really what I'm talking about with this show, just someone's told me about it, um, so, then you just got to like, don't let, don't let, Dastardly and Muttly, catch it,

Mm.

keep them behind you, uh, obviously, sorry, not the expense of safety,, but, but yeah, that's quite a good one, kind of, oh, it's catching me, I'll go a little bit faster, maybe two miles an hour faster. You know, I'm doing 57, I'm doing 60, maybe I'll do 62. And just slowly build because, because, I mean, There's not a lot of difference between 60 and 62, but if you're worried about speed and that kind of thing, then there might be a bit of a difference between 60 and 62, it might be just, just a mental thing about the number. So if you spend time at 62, instead of 60. So above your safety threshold normally, then you're going to get used to it. You're going to, you're going to, you know, self realize that actually there's not a lot of difference. It's, it's keeping me away from dastardly, um, but the car still feels safe. I still feel in control. you know, maybe I'll go 64 and just slowly build up that way. Again, that that's, changing perception. It's not letting those negative thoughts in, it's, it's keeping them out with, with thinking about Dick Dastardly and Muttley catching you, not giving room for those negative thoughts to come in. And it does take, it just takes your mind off it. And what might happen naturally is the speed will increase because you're trying not to be caught by Dick Dastardly. So that's, a useful game, it doesn't matter how long this takes. As well, this is, this is down to you, you might go one mile an hour faster and okay. Well, Dick's not catching me up as quick, but he isn't gonna catch me and that's fine. But I've traveled at 61 for the last mile and I feel okay. So next time, doesn't have to be the same day. Next time I'll try, maybe I'll try 63. Maybe I'll try 58 instead of 56. So you really are in control of the pace that, this happens into,

yeah, I quite like that one. Yeah, definitely. Because it is all about that. How much is it's acknowledging that going a bit faster then would be your normal speed that is going to potentially make you feel a little bit anxious. So taking it in those small increments. You set it, you decide, is it one mile? Is it two miles? Is it three miles faster than normal? So it's in your control and it's how much can you tolerate without it impacting the performance of your driving, without feeling overwhelming. So you, so playing with it and setting those small increments, you're in control. Love that. And I suppose a lot of this is, you know, you're facing that fear, aren't you? You know, but you're, you're doing it within control. Yeah. You're noticing how long that fear lasts for, does that fear go away? Yeah. We've had that a lot on podcasts as well. So yeah, that's got so many benefits. Making it feel challenging, but not so challenging that it's gonna tip you into feeling really stressed. No, that's good.

that, into that area where none of us like being

Yeah, it's coming out, it's stepping out of that comfort zone, isn't it? Yeah. I'm quite happy doing 45, and I suppose some of these will actually link together, won't they? You know, if you're doing 425 on this single carriageway that is a 6D and it's a nice straight road and you can see clearly, you know, what type of animal might you have in the car behind you

There you go.

linking them all together. And I think that's exactly what you're trying to do, isn't it? You know, if you've done something, you can bring it into other areas of your driving, can't you?

Totally transferable. Totally transferable. And it's, it's, it adds to your motivation. Right. I've done that. Now let me see if I can do this. And I'm proud of myself. I've got my silver medal, for instance. Right. So let me see if I can now stop Dick Dastley catching me. Or let's now see if I can, I can see other drivers as a different animal. Absolutely. Totally transferable.

Yeah, I love that. And then the other thing I'm thinking about, those two ones about overtaking and speed, this links into a previous episode we did about driving in the middle lane all the time, and we often see drivers in that middle lane looking absolutely petrified because they they're trying to avoid overtaking they end up with people overtaking them and undertaking them at the same time and then they're stuck in this middle lane going too slow traffic going round them in on both sides the cars rattling it's a horrible place to be so it feels much safer to be in that slow lane and treat yourself for overtaking when you need to make a much nicer journey. I mean, even, even the words, even the words you used there was slow lane, isn't it? That thing it's just another lane. Yeah. Um, and that is what most people feel though, isn't it? It's because I don't know the real lane names. Could we name them differently? That might, that might be another game, isn't it? Can you name the lanes then? You've just come up with one. Name the

Tracy, you're a genius! Absolute genius! You could call wait, wait, wait, wait, I've got something in my head, I don't want to lose it. You could call, like, the, the two or three lanes you don't like being in, you can call them, like, I don't know, Carlos. If you've already got a friend called Carlos. Or, or, uh, you've got a really good, like your best mate, and your best mate's the far lane and you've got to get to your best mate in the outside overtaking lane, but Yeah, Trace, you just made up a new game!

Love it. There we go.

I'm gonna call it, you've invented it, I'm gonna call it The Naming Lane Game.

The name in Lane Game. Brilliant. So what Kev? So I quite like the Getting Lost game. I just quite like the game almost where people are scared. I'm going to use the word scared because they tend to be, if they're unfamiliar routes that they've got to take. So they become scared, anxious, nervous. It's one of the things that comes up a lot, isn't it? Where people say they don't like driving somewhere new, somewhere they've not been before. So one of the games I've done this, I've done this a lot online, so we've not even been in the car, but I've suggested this as a game where people get lost. And what it basically means is they, they can drive to the local shops, can't they? You know, that is like, I can drive to Tesco's or a other brand of supermarket. And what they do is, that is the only journey they do.

Yes.

So I say, okay, so tell me about the route, what's on the route, is there any junctions where you could turn left or turn right, you know, that you wouldn't normally do? And they go, well, yeah, there's a junction there. I said, right, what I want you to do when you're on your way to the supermarket is just turn into that road. And what I want you to do is when you're in that road, you might be a dead end. Turn the car around and come back out again. And what it means is They get used to the feeling of doing something different to the norm, because that one route that they've been doing is, that's all I do, that's all I do. But their feeling of what would happen if the road was closed, well, most people just turn around and go back home again, because they don't want to have that unfamiliarity of driving on a road they don't know. So, yeah, if you can build in that getting lost. I think that works really well in a, in a controlled environment because they know that road is a dead end and they can't go anywhere. So, it's quite nice or just driving past the entrance to the supermarket. Go to the next roundabout, turn around and come back again, or something similar, you know, so those sort of things I can think can really work with people.

Absolutely. It's like you said earlier, it's out of that comfort zone. It's moving out of the zone you know, into what you don't know. And the more you move into what you don't know, the bigger your zone of what you do know, your comfort zone, gets. Yeah, I think that's a great game to play, Kev.

Thank you. So I've really enjoyed doing this podcast and there's been loads of insights and tips and, making driving more fun, I suppose, as well. Enjoyable. Yes. But what I would really like, you know, if people could create their own games and let us know what they've created. I think that could be, really interesting to help others. But also to help us as trainers as well, because I think we all learn from everybody. And every day is a learning day. So, you know, like, You'll name the lane game was brilliant. So I'd like to know, you know, what games can you create or have created to help you? Yep. And share them with us. Let us know.

I'll be great. I need some new ones.

So Terry, where do people find you if they want to get in touch?

They can see me on Crimewatch. I'm coming up in the next episode. Um,

So you do literally take that bank rubber game seriously.

Yeah. Um, they can find me on Facebook, Dunstressing. or under my name, Terry Leftery. and happy to chat, happy to, to obviously help anybody that needs any help with this. And, thank you guys for the opportunity to come on. Where do I send the invoice? For my time? Is it?

Terry, it been a pleasure.

You're welcome, guys. Thanks for having me. Bye, everyone.