Anne Truong:

This podcast is for you, the Modern Man. I'm Dr Anne

Anne Truong:

Truong, your host. I'm an intimate health medical doctor

Anne Truong:

and best selling author of the book, Erectile Dysfunction Fix.

Anne Truong:

I'll do a deep dive into sexual health and performance and how

Anne Truong:

it affects men of all ages and backgrounds. So let's get

Anne Truong:

started, and be sure to visit my website at

Anne Truong:

sexualhealthformenpodcast.com for more information and

Anne Truong:

resources from the show. See you on the inside.

Anne Truong:

Hello there, Modern Man. In today's episode, I have a

Anne Truong:

special guest, Dr. Carolyn DeLucia. She is a world renowned

Anne Truong:

OBGYN, vagina guru, and widely published author and worldwide

Anne Truong:

speaker, and also a very good friend but an excellent doctor.

Anne Truong:

And today, we're going to dive deep into the female pleasure

Anne Truong:

system, and it will be a learning experience for me, and

Anne Truong:

I hope it will learning experience for you, because this

Anne Truong:

is a channel Sexual Health for Men. But we need to know about

Anne Truong:

the female pleasure system and how it goes, because it's

Anne Truong:

actually more complex than we think. So today we're going to

Anne Truong:

learn from Dr delusion on what we need to know about the female

Anne Truong:

pleasure system. Welcome, Carolyn. I am so glad you are

Anne Truong:

here in our channel and there's your cat in the camera.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Hello and I have my pussycat.

Anne Truong:

Other known as your pussy cat, lovely, lovely,

Anne Truong:

lovely. That's a good introduction to cat as a pussy

Anne Truong:

cat. So, so let's just dive deep into it. Now. What is your

Anne Truong:

experience of men being knowledgeable about the female

Anne Truong:

intimacy, pleasure, orgasm system.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Well, I think that the basics are

Carolyn DeLucia:

communication. And every partner, any good man, wants to

Carolyn DeLucia:

please his woman. And it's a sense of connection, and it

Carolyn DeLucia:

really in any good partner, it brings him huge satisfaction and

Carolyn DeLucia:

his own personal arousal when he has pleased his woman. So as far

Carolyn DeLucia:

as any male understanding the female intimate nature, it just

Carolyn DeLucia:

takes communication and two ways. We are talking to the

Carolyn DeLucia:

women too and being open with their men to help really know

Carolyn DeLucia:

how to please each other.

Anne Truong:

Okay, so that's a big word, how to please each

Anne Truong:

other. Both you and I treat sexual dysfunction for both men

Anne Truong:

and women, and often time it is almost like there's a lot of

Anne Truong:

miscommunication. There's an almost like you have to kind of

Anne Truong:

teach anatomy again. So what does a man need to know about

Anne Truong:

getting a female to pleasure.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Absolutely. A lot. They've got to learn a lot.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Wait a minute, let me find my clitoris. Wait, where is it? Oh,

Carolyn DeLucia:

here it is.

Anne Truong:

You had me there.

Carolyn DeLucia:

This is a model of the female clitoris. And what

Carolyn DeLucia:

I really want to show is the full anatomy. There's a lot

Carolyn DeLucia:

more. This is the little tip of the clitoris that we can see in

Anne Truong:

I love that, and it's individualized, but there's

Anne Truong:

female anatomy. But behind the scenes, there's a whole lot

Anne Truong:

more. And what this shows to men is that beyond the tip of our

Anne Truong:

clitoris, which, by the way, has 8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings,

Anne Truong:

versus the analogous head of a penis that holds 4,000 nerve

Anne Truong:

endings. I'm going to pause there for a second. You know

Anne Truong:

why? Because you did hear me correctly. The clitoris has

Anne Truong:

8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings. And the head of a penis has

Anne Truong:

4000. So, gentlemen, the clitoris is very, very

Anne Truong:

sensitive, and it does govern a woman's sexual response. But

Anne Truong:

beyond the tip, there's the full length of the analogous

Anne Truong:

structures, which are the crura and the vestibular bulbs. The

Anne Truong:

vestibular bulbs are very similar to the prostate gland,

Anne Truong:

and they open up right next to this would be the urethra in

Anne Truong:

this area here, and this is where the vaginal opening would

Anne Truong:

be. So the urethra has two tiny little openings right next to

Anne Truong:

it, that are the skin's glands, that are the opening of our

Anne Truong:

vestibular bulbs, which are actually going to secrete some

Anne Truong:

form of what would be similar to an ejaculate when a woman is

Anne Truong:

appropriately aroused and reaches orgasm. That's different

Anne Truong:

than vaginal lubrication. Vaginal lubrication is from

Anne Truong:

increased blood flow to the area with arousal that then allows

Anne Truong:

secretions into the full vaginal vault. And all of this takes

Anne Truong:

place with intimacy and with appropriate arousal techniques,

Anne Truong:

and that's different, woman to woman, partner to partner, and

Anne Truong:

it's how the two of you interact and learn from each other.

Anne Truong:

also some time discrepancy. How long does it take for a woman to

Anne Truong:

be aroused compared to a man?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Well, it can vary quite a bit, but it does

Carolyn DeLucia:

take, on average, around 10 minutes to do the whole arousal

Carolyn DeLucia:

stage, which is otherwise colloquially known as foreplay.

Carolyn DeLucia:

And sometimes it takes 24 hours, which means it starts in the

Carolyn DeLucia:

morning, which means it begins with a cup of coffee and and how

Carolyn DeLucia:

you treat that woman all day long. A woman is not as easy as

Carolyn DeLucia:

a switch. So if, in all sincerity, if there's been an

Carolyn DeLucia:

argument in the day and it has not been appropriately resolved,

Carolyn DeLucia:

a woman is not going to be a sexy pussy cat in the evening

Carolyn DeLucia:

that has to be resolved as part of the foreplay, and then the

Carolyn DeLucia:

strict foreplay in the bedroom Is that arousal period of which

Carolyn DeLucia:

you speak, in which is the stimulation of the tip of the

Carolyn DeLucia:

clitoris, which then allows the entire area to be infused with

Carolyn DeLucia:

blood. Gentlemen, this clitoris area here is analogous to the

Carolyn DeLucia:

full shaft of the penis, and women get engorged and erect,

Carolyn DeLucia:

just like a man, and that requires blood flow, and that

Carolyn DeLucia:

blood flow requires appropriate arousal. Some women like it

Carolyn DeLucia:

soft. Some women like it aroused in circles. Some women like it

Carolyn DeLucia:

up and down. And there's nothing wrong with asking. Babe, do you

Carolyn DeLucia:

like it this way? Do you like it this way? Do you like it a

Carolyn DeLucia:

little bit of both? Do you like it firm? Do you like it soft?

Carolyn DeLucia:

It's how that touch is required, per that woman in what it takes

Carolyn DeLucia:

to get the nerves and the blood flowing.

Anne Truong:

Okay, so does every woman need to have clitoral

Anne Truong:

stimulation? What about like vaginal stimulation?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Okay, that's a very delicate question, and what

Carolyn DeLucia:

most of us in this realm, this educated in sexual therapy,

Carolyn DeLucia:

believe. Is that in all sincerity, even stimulation at

Carolyn DeLucia:

the G spot, which would be in this area, inside the vagina,

Carolyn DeLucia:

below the urethra, in the midline, somewhere about one to

Carolyn DeLucia:

four centimeters in on a vaginal wall will be the G spot. Every

Carolyn DeLucia:

single woman has a G spot. Some of the understanding nowadays is

Carolyn DeLucia:

that it's sort of an extension of the clitoris in the realm of

Carolyn DeLucia:

the urethra, soft tissue that surrounds that area in the

Carolyn DeLucia:

vagina, giving it more sensation. I will say every

Carolyn DeLucia:

single woman has this anatomical region. Some find it an

Carolyn DeLucia:

erogenous zone. Some don't much like kissing the nape of the

Carolyn DeLucia:

neck or stimulating the nipples. Some women, you can play with

Carolyn DeLucia:

their nipples all day long. It doesn't arouse them. Some women

Carolyn DeLucia:

you can kiss their neck up and down. It doesn't arouse them.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Some go nuts, right? You just touch their neck, and they are

Carolyn DeLucia:

aroused, excited and just ready to move on other women, it

Carolyn DeLucia:

doesn't so Is it their erogenous zone? If the g spot in the

Carolyn DeLucia:

anterior wall is an erogenous zone, then vaginal stimulation

Carolyn DeLucia:

and appropriate and or appropriate stretch of the

Carolyn DeLucia:

vaginal vault with penetration of the penis will stimulate that

Carolyn DeLucia:

area and allow for arousal and or a vaginal orgasm. My

Carolyn DeLucia:

understanding, my downright personal experience, let's face

Carolyn DeLucia:

it, is that with the appropriate fit, which is the size of the

Carolyn DeLucia:

penis, the angle of penetration, with an appropriate foreplay. So

Carolyn DeLucia:

we are talking now if you've heard all the stipulations, the

Carolyn DeLucia:

sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, all aligning in the

Carolyn DeLucia:

perfect circumstances, which occur 20% of women, meaning 80%

Carolyn DeLucia:

of the time that alignment is not gonna happen, then a vaginal

Carolyn DeLucia:

orgasm is pretty special. But with all the perfect alignment

Carolyn DeLucia:

and communication, vaginal orgasms are very possible.

Anne Truong:

Yeah, what you're saying is that vaginal orgasm

Anne Truong:

are not as frequent or easy as clitoral?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Exactly.

Anne Truong:

And I myself totally agree with that. Maybe

Anne Truong:

too much TMI, but I think the vaginal orgasm for me, is

Anne Truong:

probably very little compared to that as well. So because you had

Anne Truong:

everything has to align, like you said, the pressure, the

Anne Truong:

size, lubrication.

Carolyn DeLucia:

The moment. Everything, and that's tricky.

Carolyn DeLucia:

There are very few women who have vaginal orgasms every time.

Carolyn DeLucia:

The key, even then, is that the clitoris is involved. That's the

Carolyn DeLucia:

bottom line. And again, if you're noticing this entire

Carolyn DeLucia:

anatomy, the vagina wraps around it, no matter what vaginal

Carolyn DeLucia:

penetration involves, having the entire clitoris involved, no

Carolyn DeLucia:

matter how you shape it. So when this is pulled appropriately,

Carolyn DeLucia:

the tip comes down, gets stimulated with penetration. I

Carolyn DeLucia:

don't mean to be so graphic, but I think it's making a point, if

Carolyn DeLucia:

you know what I'm saying, and that's what's going on. No

Carolyn DeLucia:

matter how you shape it, the clitoris is going to be

Carolyn DeLucia:

involved.

Anne Truong:

So the clitoris really kind of wraps around the

Anne Truong:

vaginal the top and on the side. That's

Carolyn DeLucia:

correct. So this entire anatomy, this is the

Unknown:

So what's the role of the vestibular bulb? The funny

Unknown:

vagina overlapping it. Does that make sense?

Unknown:

looking like legs.

Carolyn DeLucia:

It holds blood flow and secretions, and help

Carolyn DeLucia:

women to ejaculate. Now, ejaculation and squirting are

Carolyn DeLucia:

not necessarily the same thing. Women will always ejaculate,

Carolyn DeLucia:

which will be a small amount of fluid coming from the Skene's

Carolyn DeLucia:

glands. Some women have abundant fluid coming from the Skene's

Carolyn DeLucia:

glands and the urethra. Some of those secretions, when analyzed

Carolyn DeLucia:

in clinical data, have shown not to be urine at all. They are

Carolyn DeLucia:

very chemically identical to the secretions from a prostate

Carolyn DeLucia:

gland. So they are truly ejaculate, as in a male.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Everything about a female is analogous to the male.

Anne Truong:

So the vestibule gland, does that secrete PSA?

Anne Truong:

Because it's like analysis to the prostate?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Yes.

Anne Truong:

Oh, so she can secrete. She can also have a PSA

Anne Truong:

level as well, too.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Well. I don't know if we don't measure women's

Carolyn DeLucia:

PSA, but that's an interesting question. I don't know if that's

Carolyn DeLucia:

ever been asked, Anne.

Anne Truong:

I know. See, maybe somebody should look into that,

Anne Truong:

because it is analogous to the prostate gland.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Oh, there's no doubt about it.

Anne Truong:

Yeah, as analog to the prostate gland, when you

Anne Truong:

mentioned that is almost the same chemical as the prostate,

Anne Truong:

prostate fluid without the sperm, of course, and then

Anne Truong:

there's got to be some PSA. Just the first thought I have there.

Anne Truong:

And maybe.

Carolyn DeLucia:

I've never looked at it, and I love these

Carolyn DeLucia:

kinds of questions that come up, because looking at hormone

Carolyn DeLucia:

therapy, we can talk in depth about metabolites and measuring

Carolyn DeLucia:

those in men and women and the dangers of those. So these are

Carolyn DeLucia:

questions that come up from us thinking and discussing these

Carolyn DeLucia:

things.

Anne Truong:

I so appreciate you showing us the anatomy. Because

Anne Truong:

the anatomy, 98% of the female anatomy is hidden. Especially

Anne Truong:

the clitoris.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Exactly. Depicting, allowing them to see

Carolyn DeLucia:

that this is the tip, and this is where the vagina opening

Carolyn DeLucia:

would be, and everything else is behind the scenes and arousable.

Carolyn DeLucia:

What this means is that these crura that hide along the side

Carolyn DeLucia:

of the vaginal labia, the space between the labia minora and

Carolyn DeLucia:

labia majora, are also very, very sensually arousable and

Carolyn DeLucia:

often ignored. So the area between the labia is a very

Carolyn DeLucia:

sensitive and sensual area to engage.

Anne Truong:

So guys, listen to that. Take note. So women have

Anne Truong:

two labia, the labia majora, which is the bigger area, and

Anne Truong:

then there's a smaller one called labia minora, more often

Anne Truong:

referred to as the lips, but the space between there, that's

Anne Truong:

where the crura. Is that right?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Yeah, just getting through my book, I'm

Carolyn DeLucia:

trying to find the one and only picture I have in the book,

Carolyn DeLucia:

which is the external female genitalia, because so much is

Carolyn DeLucia:

not understood. And men, you're not alone. Women don't

Carolyn DeLucia:

understand their own anatomy. Trust me, I'm a gynecologist,

Carolyn DeLucia:

and I have to show women what's what down there too. So it's

Carolyn DeLucia:

just helpful to understand the labia majora versus the labia

Carolyn DeLucia:

minora versus the Skene's glands versus the Bartholin's gland

Carolyn DeLucia:

openings, all different areas of our very intricate anatomy.

Anne Truong:

So what's the role of the Bartholin's glands,

Anne Truong:

which, show us where the Bartholin's glands are at.

Anne Truong:

The Bartholin's glands are way down here. They secrete a teeny

Anne Truong:

weeny bit of mucousy type of discharge. They are not the same

Anne Truong:

as vaginal lubrication. Now, vaginal lubrication is what we

Anne Truong:

in the scientific world called an exudate, which is a secretion

Anne Truong:

from the entire length of the vagina. It's a moisture that

Anne Truong:

comes out from the full length of the vaginal vault, from the

Anne Truong:

blood flow to the area. So when women become menopausal, meaning

Anne Truong:

not making estrogen anymore, we lose our estrogenic support to

Anne Truong:

the blood flow to the vaginal vault. What that means is

Anne Truong:

without estrogen, over time, the tissues of the vagina

Anne Truong:

continuously change and thin out and dry out. So gentlemen, I

Anne Truong:

want you to understand your women that when we are

Anne Truong:

menopausal and not treated, because Dr. Anne will treat your

Anne Truong:

women as well to make sure that they can maintain their blood

Anne Truong:

flow to the vagina, and that will enable them to lubricate.

Anne Truong:

But if not, it feels like having sex with a cactus. Not joking,

Anne Truong:

it will feel horrible, like a hairbrush, the bristles of a

Anne Truong:

hairbrush, and it becomes agonizing. That is not pleasant,

Anne Truong:

and they will try to avoid it, pretend they're asleep, tell you

Anne Truong:

to go elsewhere. They don't mean either. They're just in so much

Anne Truong:

discomfort they can't even emotionally go there. I saw a 73

Anne Truong:

year old woman today, and it broke my heart because she came

Anne Truong:

to me and said, Finally, I found you. For the past 10 to 15

Anne Truong:

years, I've been asking my gynecologist to help me with my

Anne Truong:

ability to tolerate intercourse, I can't tolerate it. I no longer

Anne Truong:

want it because I fear the pain, but I love my husband, and I

Anne Truong:

want to get back to that intimacy. But my doctor kept on

Anne Truong:

telling me, oh, forget about it. You're past all that. That's not

Anne Truong:

right. There's no need for us to ever be past all that, if we as

Anne Truong:

partners are not at the same place. In other words, if Dr.

Anne Truong:

Truong has treated you successfully to maintain your

Anne Truong:

erections and be able to enjoy intimacy, if it's on your own,

Anne Truong:

then allow her to treat your partner and make Her able to

Anne Truong:

enjoy this intimate moment together. Right?

Anne Truong:

Absolutely. One of my passion for the men is that painful

Anne Truong:

intercourse for a woman in menopause should not happen. It

Anne Truong:

is reversible, easily correctable, yes, just a topical

Anne Truong:

or even a lubricant. Even be non hormonal, just a topical hormone

Anne Truong:

that will actually reverse it within days, right? I mean, I

Anne Truong:

see my patient feeling better within 3 to 5 days, with just

Anne Truong:

some topical estrogen, with some DHEA, and even non hormonal,

Anne Truong:

using platelet rich plasma to just bring in more blood flow,

Anne Truong:

more lubrication to the area. But no woman should be suffering

Anne Truong:

from sandpaper or intercourse. You feel like you know, a

Anne Truong:

hairbrush brushing against this. It should not be uncomfortable.

Anne Truong:

it's correctable. So guys, if you're listening to this, tell

Anne Truong:

your partner, tell somebody you know that is in menopause.

Anne Truong:

Usually women in menopause ranges between even as late as

Anne Truong:

early as mid 40 to even 60 is the range. Menopause means that

Anne Truong:

they're not having their period anymore for one year. But

Anne Truong:

oftentimes women don't realize that. They don't realize that

Anne Truong:

their hormones is what changes in the hormone is what is

Anne Truong:

causing the discomfort. Oftentimes, unfortunately, they

Anne Truong:

blame themselves, right? Yeah, they blame themselves for having

Anne Truong:

the pain. It's like they don't know what they don't know. And

Anne Truong:

they're like, Well, I guess must be getting old. My body is not

Anne Truong:

liking sex anymore, so I just have to accept that. Right?

Carolyn DeLucia:

No, don't accept it. And it doesn't have

Carolyn DeLucia:

to be that way. Similar to how gentlemen, should never think

Carolyn DeLucia:

that it's necessary to experience erectile dysfunction.

Carolyn DeLucia:

We have so many solutions for the treatment of erectile

Carolyn DeLucia:

dysfunction, as we have treatment for any of the vaginal

Carolyn DeLucia:

issues women encounter the vaginal dryness and discomfort

Carolyn DeLucia:

with sex is the only symptom of menopause that gets worse over

Carolyn DeLucia:

time, if untreated, compared to any other symptom, the hot

Carolyn DeLucia:

flashes, the night sweats, the terrible mood swings, all of

Carolyn DeLucia:

those mellow out despite any treatment, However, vaginal

Carolyn DeLucia:

discomfort atrophy, as we call it, which is the continual

Carolyn DeLucia:

change in the tissues will get worse, if unaddressed over time,

Carolyn DeLucia:

making it more and more impossible to endure vaginal

Carolyn DeLucia:

penetration and eventually the pain is enough to turn off any

Carolyn DeLucia:

desire, because they're so afraid of the pain they don't

Carolyn DeLucia:

want you to even touch that super sensitive tip of the

Carolyn DeLucia:

clitoris anymore, because they're afraid of where it might

Carolyn DeLucia:

lead, and they don't even want to have an orgasm anymore.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Imagine that how unnecessary that any of us should have to go

Carolyn DeLucia:

through life loving our partner and unable to engage in

Carolyn DeLucia:

intimacy?

Anne Truong:

Oh, yes. And in fact, Dr. DeLucia wrote two

Anne Truong:

books. The first one is Ultimate Intimacy. There you're go. You

Anne Truong:

can find that on Amazon. And I'll put the link to her book

Anne Truong:

and the episode description. The second book is Ultimate

Anne Truong:

Connection, there you go. And I'll put that link as well, too.

Anne Truong:

And that's one of her many books. And take it from her. She

Anne Truong:

knows because she, we are both very passionate about treating

Anne Truong:

sexual health, because we know that is a real, a big component

Anne Truong:

of intimacy and relationship.

Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

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Anne Truong:

deserve. It's time to take back your power on your term. Let's

Anne Truong:

get this journey started together. Check out the course

Anne Truong:

at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you there.

Anne Truong:

I just want to backtrack a little bit, and you said earlier

Anne Truong:

that ejaculate and squirting are different. What is the

Anne Truong:

difference?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Okay, so squirting is an involuntary

Carolyn DeLucia:

excretion of abundant fluid coming from the Skene's and

Carolyn DeLucia:

urethra in women, and that women cannot control or stop. But it's

Carolyn DeLucia:

abundant, typically, more than just a few drops. Every woman

Carolyn DeLucia:

and orgasm will be secreting something from the Skene's

Carolyn DeLucia:

glands. And if you actually during a really strong orgasm,

Carolyn DeLucia:

if a woman feels either side of the urethra. You can feel a

Carolyn DeLucia:

pulsation going on in that area, and that is just like an

Carolyn DeLucia:

ejaculation in a male.

Anne Truong:

So it comes from the same orifice, same opening,

Anne Truong:

that's correct, and squirting is just more volume?

Carolyn DeLucia:

That's correct.

Anne Truong:

But the same fluid?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Yes, very similar.

Anne Truong:

Very similar. Now, does all women squirt?

Carolyn DeLucia:

All women have the potential to squirt? Yes.

Carolyn DeLucia:

With appropriate arousal and enough stimulation of that

Carolyn DeLucia:

anterior wall of the vagina. As a matter of fact, a friend of

Carolyn DeLucia:

ours, Dr. Charles Runnels, has written a book on guiding women

Carolyn DeLucia:

just how to make that happen. So do refer them there.

Anne Truong:

Exactly, and I'll link that book too. It's also on

Anne Truong:

Amazon as well. So having said that, and I've actually learned

Anne Truong:

something, and you've explained it so well. And between the

Anne Truong:

Bartholin's glands and the Skene's glands. If I learned

Anne Truong:

something, imagine all men. How, you know, I mean, just looking

Anne Truong:

at the anatomy, you show the vulva everybody, that's a

Anne Truong:

familiar thing, but a lot of the anatomy is really behind the

Anne Truong:

labia. How can I get the male has to kind of know the anatomy

Anne Truong:

and get your book and follow along?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Practice makes perfect.

Anne Truong:

That's right. So what advice you have to our

Anne Truong:

listeners, who are 98% men, on how to arouse and get their

Anne Truong:

woman to that orgasmic state.

Carolyn DeLucia:

The biggest thing is to pay attention to her

Carolyn DeLucia:

body language, and I believe that women will show signs. If,

Carolyn DeLucia:

men, she's laying there like a locks, doing nothing, something

Carolyn DeLucia:

must not be happening. Now I'm going to say that the woman has

Carolyn DeLucia:

to be present, meaning that mentally and physically, she has

Carolyn DeLucia:

to be willing to be a participant. But if she is and

Carolyn DeLucia:

she loves you, then when you begin to see her moving along

Carolyn DeLucia:

with your advances and her body is responding, then you know

Carolyn DeLucia:

that you are doing the correct thing. And when she postures

Carolyn DeLucia:

more as if she is getting closer to that orgasmic level with

Carolyn DeLucia:

maybe the head back, the eyes closing, all of those signs, you

Carolyn DeLucia:

know you're right on the right path, and keep doing what you're

Carolyn DeLucia:

doing. Don't stop. Don't stop. And hopefully she's willing to

Carolyn DeLucia:

communicate back to you how well you're doing. I do understand

Carolyn DeLucia:

that for women, when we are stimulating our man, and there's

Carolyn DeLucia:

success in that, that we have an outward sign from you,

Carolyn DeLucia:

obviously, there's an obvious ejaculate, and that is a sign to

Carolyn DeLucia:

us that we have accomplished what we have been seeking. And

Carolyn DeLucia:

for gentlemen, there isn't as obvious a sign from their woman,

Carolyn DeLucia:

but when she is truly involved and present and responding to

Carolyn DeLucia:

you, it's hard to fake it. You know the difference once you've

Carolyn DeLucia:

been with a woman long enough.

Anne Truong:

And if you are going to talk about the

Anne Truong:

erogenous zone for women, let's kind of teach our men now to be

Anne Truong:

the Casanova. Let's hit the erogenous zone. Woman kind of in

Anne Truong:

the mood and ready. What would be those steps?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Okay, so I think the very first step now

Carolyn DeLucia:

some women like you to be approaching the genitalia right

Carolyn DeLucia:

away, but some women don't mind a little gentle touch, which

Carolyn DeLucia:

every bit of our body is truly an exogenous zone. So even

Carolyn DeLucia:

starting at the temples and rubbing the temples and just

Carolyn DeLucia:

relaxing her, rubbing her forehead, working your way down.

Carolyn DeLucia:

And you can judge if they're ready for you to touch more

Carolyn DeLucia:

intimate areas, meaning the breast, and working your way

Carolyn DeLucia:

down to the genitalia, but you have to be the connoisseur of

Carolyn DeLucia:

your own woman and understand what steps she's ready for.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Should she be ready for clitoral stimulation? As I mentioned

Carolyn DeLucia:

earlier, don't be shy to try to understand what type of touch

Carolyn DeLucia:

she needs. A simple question, do you like it firm? Do you like it

Carolyn DeLucia:

gentle? What helps you more? And those types of communications in

Carolyn DeLucia:

that moment? Show you care, like my little doggy.

Anne Truong:

First we have your cat. Now we have your dog.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Thank goodness it's not my 19 chickens.

Anne Truong:

That's coming up. That's coming up, right? Yeah,

Anne Truong:

that's what makes it so fun. You never know what shows up when

Anne Truong:

you're talking to Caroline. Yeah, you have her dog now on

Anne Truong:

this. So we're definitely going to keep that in the podcast.

Anne Truong:

That's what the fun part about that. All right, so listen to

Anne Truong:

your women, ask her what she would like. Every woman is

Anne Truong:

different, and every woman is unique. And go slow. And I heard

Anne Truong:

from you at the beginning of our discussion, was that foreplay

Anne Truong:

could even take 24 hours, at the beginning of the day.

Carolyn DeLucia:

You got it. We're not a switch, we're not

Carolyn DeLucia:

easy to turn on and off.

Anne Truong:

Right, right. We're not a switch, we're not easy to

Anne Truong:

turn off. I kind of also hear from you is that you got the

Anne Truong:

vaginal lubrication, then you also have the ejaculate as well.

Anne Truong:

So there's a lot fluid and lubrication going on?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Yes, absolutely. And if it ever feels

Carolyn DeLucia:

like the friction sometimes gentlemen like penetration,

Carolyn DeLucia:

maybe before a woman is quite ready. In that scenario, the

Carolyn DeLucia:

next step is to definitely use a lubricant. Don't be shy about

Carolyn DeLucia:

that. Absolutely not. And there are wonderful lubricants on the

Carolyn DeLucia:

market. One of my favorite is Uberlube, and it's very nice

Carolyn DeLucia:

consistency, disappears after quite, it's very comfortable,

Carolyn DeLucia:

and not messy. And with that, it's a wonderful way to ease

Carolyn DeLucia:

comfort with penetration and not make it uncomfortable. Should

Carolyn DeLucia:

that friction be required for longer than the woman is able to

Carolyn DeLucia:

naturally maintain sometimes, as gentlemen get older, they have

Carolyn DeLucia:

what we call delayed ejaculate, and there's nothing wrong with

Carolyn DeLucia:

that. And certainly, as a loving partner, you don't mind being

Carolyn DeLucia:

involved for the longer period of time, as long as it's

Carolyn DeLucia:

comfortable for both of you. So a little lubricant goes a long

Carolyn DeLucia:

way.

Anne Truong:

Right. I love that, and I also recommend Uberlube.

Anne Truong:

And we'll also put that link for Uberlube as well. I want to

Anne Truong:

touch briefly on when we were talking about a very serious

Anne Truong:

subject that you and I are very passionate about, is that

Anne Truong:

discomfort with intercourse for women, which is treatable. So

Anne Truong:

for the listeners that are listening to this, what are some

Anne Truong:

treatment that are available for women to get rid of that

Anne Truong:

sandpaper field, that discomfort field, that they can go talk to

Anne Truong:

their doctor and get treatment for?

Carolyn DeLucia:

The number one standard of care in the

Carolyn DeLucia:

gynecological world is local estrogen or local DHEA. Both of

Carolyn DeLucia:

there are several products on the market that are FDA approved

Carolyn DeLucia:

and covered by insurance that will at least be able to be used

Carolyn DeLucia:

locally. However, are they my favorite? No because we have to

Carolyn DeLucia:

balance the dose with systemic absorption. So some women would

Carolyn DeLucia:

require a lot higher dose than what actually would help their

Carolyn DeLucia:

tissues in order to achieve that success. So then it might get

Carolyn DeLucia:

into their bloodstream, which is not desired. So when that

Carolyn DeLucia:

happens, women, despite the use of the local hormone, may still

Carolyn DeLucia:

be uncomfortable. That's when all of the non traditional

Carolyn DeLucia:

treatments offered by doctors like myself, which would be

Carolyn DeLucia:

functional gynecologist, regenerative gynecologist,

Carolyn DeLucia:

aesthetic gynecologist. We have many names these days, but we

Carolyn DeLucia:

have alternative therapies such as low intensity extracorporeal

Carolyn DeLucia:

shockwave, lasers, either CO2 or erbium, we have radio frequency,

Carolyn DeLucia:

painless devices that can treat the tissues, as well as all the

Carolyn DeLucia:

regenerative procedures, such as PRP, exosomes, etc, protein

Carolyn DeLucia:

concentrate. There are many evolutions of regenerative

Carolyn DeLucia:

procedures these days that we can use to replenish the blood

Carolyn DeLucia:

supply and integrity of the tissues.

Anne Truong:

Absolutely. First, topical, DHEA and estrogen.

Anne Truong:

Well, estrogen, you can't get that over the counter.

Carolyn DeLucia:

No, these are prescription. They're all, even

Carolyn DeLucia:

the DHEA, suppositories are prescription in the United

Carolyn DeLucia:

States for the vagina.

Anne Truong:

Exactly. So you have to, kind of go see your

Anne Truong:

gynecologist, but not all gynecologists do hormones,

Anne Truong:

right, right? So that's kind of discrepancy there, too. So you

Anne Truong:

have to kind of go see like a functional gynecologist, or what

Anne Truong:

she was saying, regenerative medicine gynecologist, and

Anne Truong:

discuss this with them, which is, make things more complicated

Anne Truong:

for women. You know, it's hard enough as it is, and then you go

Anne Truong:

see a gynecologist who's not comfortable with hormones or is

Anne Truong:

familiar with it, that person may say you don't need it,

Anne Truong:

you're too old or not important anymore, and really downplay

Anne Truong:

your symptoms. And so you have to kind of be an advocate for

Anne Truong:

yourself and your health. And I know that Dr DeLucia and I will

Anne Truong:

agree on this, that we believe that you can have sexual

Anne Truong:

activity to the day you die. You don't have to give it up as you

Anne Truong:

get older. And that is a myth that we were taught, you know,

Anne Truong:

in the 1700s. We are now in 2025 that is no longer true. You can

Anne Truong:

still enjoy sexual activity with everything to the day you die,

Anne Truong:

because now we have technology to replenish the blood flow down

Anne Truong:

in the genitalia to make it function again, as if you were

Anne Truong:

in your 30s again. But you don't have to worry about all the

Anne Truong:

contraception.

Carolyn DeLucia:

That's the plus, right? So we are very

Carolyn DeLucia:

similar in age, and we practice what we preach as far as

Carolyn DeLucia:

maintaining our own health and our own longevity. It's more

Carolyn DeLucia:

than just sex. It's about our ability to live our lives to the

Carolyn DeLucia:

fullest and to the best of our capabilities. Overall intimacy

Carolyn DeLucia:

is, of course, a very critical part of that.

Anne Truong:

And having said that, I want to ask you two

Anne Truong:

things, what is ultimate intimacy and what is ultimate

Anne Truong:

connection? Can you explain that to us?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Ultimate intimacy is just my way of

Carolyn DeLucia:

saying, Be your best intimate partner. Intimacy has a range of

Carolyn DeLucia:

meaning. It can mean meeting you where you are. It means if,

Carolyn DeLucia:

let's say you are well into your 80s, and at this point, there

Carolyn DeLucia:

are clinical reasons why actually having penetrating

Carolyn DeLucia:

intercourse is no longer the priority, but maybe cuddling is

Carolyn DeLucia:

if that's how you define your ultimate intimacy, that's a way

Carolyn DeLucia:

of maintaining that ultimate connection. Ultimate connection

Carolyn DeLucia:

is really learning number one, love yourself, and number two,

Carolyn DeLucia:

then you can love others. So when it comes to the ultimate

Carolyn DeLucia:

connection, you've got to connect with yourself first and

Carolyn DeLucia:

then others. And it takes some learning and sometimes maturity,

Carolyn DeLucia:

to be able to overlook your own faults, overlook noise in your

Carolyn DeLucia:

head, and come to the realization that maybe you're

Carolyn DeLucia:

not so bad, and maybe someone else can love you too.

Anne Truong:

Oh, I love that. Make sure men and the women

Anne Truong:

listening to this get her book. I will link that in the

Anne Truong:

description. Ultimate Intimacy and Ultimate Connection, because

Anne Truong:

I think that once you read that it will be an easier way for you

Anne Truong:

to talk to your partner. Because I noticed that the one of the

Anne Truong:

most challenges that my men face is that how to talk to their

Anne Truong:

partner openly to have them understand that sexual

Anne Truong:

intercourse is important for them, even in 70s. I saw a 79

Anne Truong:

year old male today who lost his wife a year ago and wants to get

Anne Truong:

back to dating again, and he wants to be able to have

Anne Truong:

intercourse. He has ED for the past 10 years, but he wants to

Anne Truong:

get back in the game. And I love that, and I think that is so

Anne Truong:

sweet, and definitely is possible, and we're going to do

Anne Truong:

everything we can to get him functioning again. But that's

Anne Truong:

really kind of the minority, right? Because sometimes people

Anne Truong:

will say, Well, you're 79, what do you want thinking about

Anne Truong:

having sexual activity? So having said that, I'm so

Anne Truong:

grateful that you here with us in this episode, teaching us

Anne Truong:

about the female pleasure system. And women, I hope you

Anne Truong:

learn something. I've learned something. Men, please listen to

Anne Truong:

this at least three times, get her book, because it's

Anne Truong:

oftentimes it knowing your partner better than she even

Anne Truong:

knows herself is really the way to her heart. And is that, what

Anne Truong:

do you say about that?

Carolyn DeLucia:

I love that. Perfect.

Anne Truong:

So how can our listeners find out more about

Anne Truong:

you, to work with you?

Carolyn DeLucia:

Oh, well, on Instagram. I'm simply Carolyn

Carolyn DeLucia:

DeLucia, MD, and you could certainly follow me there and

Carolyn DeLucia:

private message me if you do need to, and I'm happy to answer

Carolyn DeLucia:

your questions. My office website is DrCarolynDeLucia.com

Carolyn DeLucia:

I try to not make this complicated. And you could

Carolyn DeLucia:

always reach out for me there and try to reach the office. My

Carolyn DeLucia:

office phone number directly is 9084315849, I'm in New Jersey

Carolyn DeLucia:

and Manhattan.

Anne Truong:

And she's not only an excellent doctor, she's also

Anne Truong:

a good person as well. So beautiful on the outside,

Anne Truong:

beautiful on the inside. I've known her for a very long time,

Anne Truong:

and just very grateful for our friendship and just, you know,

Anne Truong:

sharing our same interests together, and we always laugh

Anne Truong:

when we're together. She always surprise me. I never know what

Anne Truong:

to expect from you. We have the clitoris. We have your cat.We

Anne Truong:

have your dog. Well, now we're missing the chicken right now.

Unknown:

Well I do have an incredible man, let's not forget

Unknown:

him.

Anne Truong:

That's right, and she's getting married soon,

Anne Truong:

right? Congratulations on that. Yeah, and I hope to meet him one

Anne Truong:

day as well. So reach out to Dr. Carolyn if you're in New Jersey

Anne Truong:

and in Manhattan. And having said that, guys, I hope that we

Anne Truong:

have given you some tips, the female and how to arouse her.

Anne Truong:

And that know about the clitoris. That's right, know

Anne Truong:

about the clitoris, and you may even know more than your

Anne Truong:

partner, which is awesome. So we will see you in the next

Anne Truong:

episode.

Carolyn DeLucia:

Thank you.

Anne Truong:

Thank you.

Anne Truong:

Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't have to

Anne Truong:

suffer anymore. ED can feel isolating, frustrating, and even

Anne Truong:

defeating. The endless guessing, the quiet shame, the weight of

Anne Truong:

not feeling like yourself is exhausting. But here's the

Anne Truong:

truth, you are not broken. You are not alone. You don't have to

Anne Truong:

figure this out alone anymore. The Get Wood Now Boost Program

Anne Truong:

is your step by step, path to sexual confidence and

Anne Truong:

restoration. No more suffering in silence, no more trial and

Anne Truong:

error, just real solution, real result and the confidence you

Anne Truong:

deserve. It's time to take back your power on your term. Let's

Anne Truong:

get this journey started together. Check out the course

Anne Truong:

at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you there.

Anne Truong:

Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men Podcast.

Anne Truong:

If you love this episode, then please take a screenshot on your

Anne Truong:

phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you post,

Anne Truong:

and be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode

Anne Truong:

and what you like to hear in the future. That will help me know

Anne Truong:

what's great for you and I would love to give you the most

Anne Truong:

incredible free gift designed to help you improve performance

Anne Truong:

quickly. Go to my website at sexualhealthformenpodcast.com to

Anne Truong:

get the book, The Five Common Costly Mistakes Men Make When

Anne Truong:

Facing ED. I would appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on

Anne Truong:

Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. And just know that you

Anne Truong:

can have sexual vitality for life. I appreciate you until

Anne Truong:

next time.