This podcast is for you, the Modern Man. I'm Dr Anne
Anne Truong:Truong, your host. I'm an intimate health medical doctor
Anne Truong:and best selling author of the book, Erectile Dysfunction Fix.
Anne Truong:I'll do a deep dive into sexual health and performance and how
Anne Truong:it affects men of all ages and backgrounds. So let's get
Anne Truong:started, and be sure to visit my website at
Anne Truong:sexualhealthformenpodcast.com for more information and
Anne Truong:resources from the show. See you on the inside.
Anne Truong:Hello there, Modern Man. In today's episode, I have a
Anne Truong:special guest, Dr. Carolyn DeLucia. She is a world renowned
Anne Truong:OBGYN, vagina guru, and widely published author and worldwide
Anne Truong:speaker, and also a very good friend but an excellent doctor.
Anne Truong:And today, we're going to dive deep into the female pleasure
Anne Truong:system, and it will be a learning experience for me, and
Anne Truong:I hope it will learning experience for you, because this
Anne Truong:is a channel Sexual Health for Men. But we need to know about
Anne Truong:the female pleasure system and how it goes, because it's
Anne Truong:actually more complex than we think. So today we're going to
Anne Truong:learn from Dr delusion on what we need to know about the female
Anne Truong:pleasure system. Welcome, Carolyn. I am so glad you are
Anne Truong:here in our channel and there's your cat in the camera.
Carolyn DeLucia:Hello and I have my pussycat.
Anne Truong:Other known as your pussy cat, lovely, lovely,
Anne Truong:lovely. That's a good introduction to cat as a pussy
Anne Truong:cat. So, so let's just dive deep into it. Now. What is your
Anne Truong:experience of men being knowledgeable about the female
Anne Truong:intimacy, pleasure, orgasm system.
Carolyn DeLucia:Well, I think that the basics are
Carolyn DeLucia:communication. And every partner, any good man, wants to
Carolyn DeLucia:please his woman. And it's a sense of connection, and it
Carolyn DeLucia:really in any good partner, it brings him huge satisfaction and
Carolyn DeLucia:his own personal arousal when he has pleased his woman. So as far
Carolyn DeLucia:as any male understanding the female intimate nature, it just
Carolyn DeLucia:takes communication and two ways. We are talking to the
Carolyn DeLucia:women too and being open with their men to help really know
Carolyn DeLucia:how to please each other.
Anne Truong:Okay, so that's a big word, how to please each
Anne Truong:other. Both you and I treat sexual dysfunction for both men
Anne Truong:and women, and often time it is almost like there's a lot of
Anne Truong:miscommunication. There's an almost like you have to kind of
Anne Truong:teach anatomy again. So what does a man need to know about
Anne Truong:getting a female to pleasure.
Carolyn DeLucia:Absolutely. A lot. They've got to learn a lot.
Carolyn DeLucia:Wait a minute, let me find my clitoris. Wait, where is it? Oh,
Carolyn DeLucia:here it is.
Anne Truong:You had me there.
Carolyn DeLucia:This is a model of the female clitoris. And what
Carolyn DeLucia:I really want to show is the full anatomy. There's a lot
Carolyn DeLucia:more. This is the little tip of the clitoris that we can see in
Anne Truong:I love that, and it's individualized, but there's
Anne Truong:female anatomy. But behind the scenes, there's a whole lot
Anne Truong:more. And what this shows to men is that beyond the tip of our
Anne Truong:clitoris, which, by the way, has 8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings,
Anne Truong:versus the analogous head of a penis that holds 4,000 nerve
Anne Truong:endings. I'm going to pause there for a second. You know
Anne Truong:why? Because you did hear me correctly. The clitoris has
Anne Truong:8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings. And the head of a penis has
Anne Truong:4000. So, gentlemen, the clitoris is very, very
Anne Truong:sensitive, and it does govern a woman's sexual response. But
Anne Truong:beyond the tip, there's the full length of the analogous
Anne Truong:structures, which are the crura and the vestibular bulbs. The
Anne Truong:vestibular bulbs are very similar to the prostate gland,
Anne Truong:and they open up right next to this would be the urethra in
Anne Truong:this area here, and this is where the vaginal opening would
Anne Truong:be. So the urethra has two tiny little openings right next to
Anne Truong:it, that are the skin's glands, that are the opening of our
Anne Truong:vestibular bulbs, which are actually going to secrete some
Anne Truong:form of what would be similar to an ejaculate when a woman is
Anne Truong:appropriately aroused and reaches orgasm. That's different
Anne Truong:than vaginal lubrication. Vaginal lubrication is from
Anne Truong:increased blood flow to the area with arousal that then allows
Anne Truong:secretions into the full vaginal vault. And all of this takes
Anne Truong:place with intimacy and with appropriate arousal techniques,
Anne Truong:and that's different, woman to woman, partner to partner, and
Anne Truong:it's how the two of you interact and learn from each other.
Anne Truong:also some time discrepancy. How long does it take for a woman to
Anne Truong:be aroused compared to a man?
Carolyn DeLucia:Well, it can vary quite a bit, but it does
Carolyn DeLucia:take, on average, around 10 minutes to do the whole arousal
Carolyn DeLucia:stage, which is otherwise colloquially known as foreplay.
Carolyn DeLucia:And sometimes it takes 24 hours, which means it starts in the
Carolyn DeLucia:morning, which means it begins with a cup of coffee and and how
Carolyn DeLucia:you treat that woman all day long. A woman is not as easy as
Carolyn DeLucia:a switch. So if, in all sincerity, if there's been an
Carolyn DeLucia:argument in the day and it has not been appropriately resolved,
Carolyn DeLucia:a woman is not going to be a sexy pussy cat in the evening
Carolyn DeLucia:that has to be resolved as part of the foreplay, and then the
Carolyn DeLucia:strict foreplay in the bedroom Is that arousal period of which
Carolyn DeLucia:you speak, in which is the stimulation of the tip of the
Carolyn DeLucia:clitoris, which then allows the entire area to be infused with
Carolyn DeLucia:blood. Gentlemen, this clitoris area here is analogous to the
Carolyn DeLucia:full shaft of the penis, and women get engorged and erect,
Carolyn DeLucia:just like a man, and that requires blood flow, and that
Carolyn DeLucia:blood flow requires appropriate arousal. Some women like it
Carolyn DeLucia:soft. Some women like it aroused in circles. Some women like it
Carolyn DeLucia:up and down. And there's nothing wrong with asking. Babe, do you
Carolyn DeLucia:like it this way? Do you like it this way? Do you like it a
Carolyn DeLucia:little bit of both? Do you like it firm? Do you like it soft?
Carolyn DeLucia:It's how that touch is required, per that woman in what it takes
Carolyn DeLucia:to get the nerves and the blood flowing.
Anne Truong:Okay, so does every woman need to have clitoral
Anne Truong:stimulation? What about like vaginal stimulation?
Carolyn DeLucia:Okay, that's a very delicate question, and what
Carolyn DeLucia:most of us in this realm, this educated in sexual therapy,
Carolyn DeLucia:believe. Is that in all sincerity, even stimulation at
Carolyn DeLucia:the G spot, which would be in this area, inside the vagina,
Carolyn DeLucia:below the urethra, in the midline, somewhere about one to
Carolyn DeLucia:four centimeters in on a vaginal wall will be the G spot. Every
Carolyn DeLucia:single woman has a G spot. Some of the understanding nowadays is
Carolyn DeLucia:that it's sort of an extension of the clitoris in the realm of
Carolyn DeLucia:the urethra, soft tissue that surrounds that area in the
Carolyn DeLucia:vagina, giving it more sensation. I will say every
Carolyn DeLucia:single woman has this anatomical region. Some find it an
Carolyn DeLucia:erogenous zone. Some don't much like kissing the nape of the
Carolyn DeLucia:neck or stimulating the nipples. Some women, you can play with
Carolyn DeLucia:their nipples all day long. It doesn't arouse them. Some women
Carolyn DeLucia:you can kiss their neck up and down. It doesn't arouse them.
Carolyn DeLucia:Some go nuts, right? You just touch their neck, and they are
Carolyn DeLucia:aroused, excited and just ready to move on other women, it
Carolyn DeLucia:doesn't so Is it their erogenous zone? If the g spot in the
Carolyn DeLucia:anterior wall is an erogenous zone, then vaginal stimulation
Carolyn DeLucia:and appropriate and or appropriate stretch of the
Carolyn DeLucia:vaginal vault with penetration of the penis will stimulate that
Carolyn DeLucia:area and allow for arousal and or a vaginal orgasm. My
Carolyn DeLucia:understanding, my downright personal experience, let's face
Carolyn DeLucia:it, is that with the appropriate fit, which is the size of the
Carolyn DeLucia:penis, the angle of penetration, with an appropriate foreplay. So
Carolyn DeLucia:we are talking now if you've heard all the stipulations, the
Carolyn DeLucia:sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, all aligning in the
Carolyn DeLucia:perfect circumstances, which occur 20% of women, meaning 80%
Carolyn DeLucia:of the time that alignment is not gonna happen, then a vaginal
Carolyn DeLucia:orgasm is pretty special. But with all the perfect alignment
Carolyn DeLucia:and communication, vaginal orgasms are very possible.
Anne Truong:Yeah, what you're saying is that vaginal orgasm
Anne Truong:are not as frequent or easy as clitoral?
Carolyn DeLucia:Exactly.
Anne Truong:And I myself totally agree with that. Maybe
Anne Truong:too much TMI, but I think the vaginal orgasm for me, is
Anne Truong:probably very little compared to that as well. So because you had
Anne Truong:everything has to align, like you said, the pressure, the
Anne Truong:size, lubrication.
Carolyn DeLucia:The moment. Everything, and that's tricky.
Carolyn DeLucia:There are very few women who have vaginal orgasms every time.
Carolyn DeLucia:The key, even then, is that the clitoris is involved. That's the
Carolyn DeLucia:bottom line. And again, if you're noticing this entire
Carolyn DeLucia:anatomy, the vagina wraps around it, no matter what vaginal
Carolyn DeLucia:penetration involves, having the entire clitoris involved, no
Carolyn DeLucia:matter how you shape it. So when this is pulled appropriately,
Carolyn DeLucia:the tip comes down, gets stimulated with penetration. I
Carolyn DeLucia:don't mean to be so graphic, but I think it's making a point, if
Carolyn DeLucia:you know what I'm saying, and that's what's going on. No
Carolyn DeLucia:matter how you shape it, the clitoris is going to be
Carolyn DeLucia:involved.
Anne Truong:So the clitoris really kind of wraps around the
Anne Truong:vaginal the top and on the side. That's
Carolyn DeLucia:correct. So this entire anatomy, this is the
Unknown:So what's the role of the vestibular bulb? The funny
Unknown:vagina overlapping it. Does that make sense?
Unknown:looking like legs.
Carolyn DeLucia:It holds blood flow and secretions, and help
Carolyn DeLucia:women to ejaculate. Now, ejaculation and squirting are
Carolyn DeLucia:not necessarily the same thing. Women will always ejaculate,
Carolyn DeLucia:which will be a small amount of fluid coming from the Skene's
Carolyn DeLucia:glands. Some women have abundant fluid coming from the Skene's
Carolyn DeLucia:glands and the urethra. Some of those secretions, when analyzed
Carolyn DeLucia:in clinical data, have shown not to be urine at all. They are
Carolyn DeLucia:very chemically identical to the secretions from a prostate
Carolyn DeLucia:gland. So they are truly ejaculate, as in a male.
Carolyn DeLucia:Everything about a female is analogous to the male.
Anne Truong:So the vestibule gland, does that secrete PSA?
Anne Truong:Because it's like analysis to the prostate?
Carolyn DeLucia:Yes.
Anne Truong:Oh, so she can secrete. She can also have a PSA
Anne Truong:level as well, too.
Carolyn DeLucia:Well. I don't know if we don't measure women's
Carolyn DeLucia:PSA, but that's an interesting question. I don't know if that's
Carolyn DeLucia:ever been asked, Anne.
Anne Truong:I know. See, maybe somebody should look into that,
Anne Truong:because it is analogous to the prostate gland.
Carolyn DeLucia:Oh, there's no doubt about it.
Anne Truong:Yeah, as analog to the prostate gland, when you
Anne Truong:mentioned that is almost the same chemical as the prostate,
Anne Truong:prostate fluid without the sperm, of course, and then
Anne Truong:there's got to be some PSA. Just the first thought I have there.
Anne Truong:And maybe.
Carolyn DeLucia:I've never looked at it, and I love these
Carolyn DeLucia:kinds of questions that come up, because looking at hormone
Carolyn DeLucia:therapy, we can talk in depth about metabolites and measuring
Carolyn DeLucia:those in men and women and the dangers of those. So these are
Carolyn DeLucia:questions that come up from us thinking and discussing these
Carolyn DeLucia:things.
Anne Truong:I so appreciate you showing us the anatomy. Because
Anne Truong:the anatomy, 98% of the female anatomy is hidden. Especially
Anne Truong:the clitoris.
Carolyn DeLucia:Exactly. Depicting, allowing them to see
Carolyn DeLucia:that this is the tip, and this is where the vagina opening
Carolyn DeLucia:would be, and everything else is behind the scenes and arousable.
Carolyn DeLucia:What this means is that these crura that hide along the side
Carolyn DeLucia:of the vaginal labia, the space between the labia minora and
Carolyn DeLucia:labia majora, are also very, very sensually arousable and
Carolyn DeLucia:often ignored. So the area between the labia is a very
Carolyn DeLucia:sensitive and sensual area to engage.
Anne Truong:So guys, listen to that. Take note. So women have
Anne Truong:two labia, the labia majora, which is the bigger area, and
Anne Truong:then there's a smaller one called labia minora, more often
Anne Truong:referred to as the lips, but the space between there, that's
Anne Truong:where the crura. Is that right?
Carolyn DeLucia:Yeah, just getting through my book, I'm
Carolyn DeLucia:trying to find the one and only picture I have in the book,
Carolyn DeLucia:which is the external female genitalia, because so much is
Carolyn DeLucia:not understood. And men, you're not alone. Women don't
Carolyn DeLucia:understand their own anatomy. Trust me, I'm a gynecologist,
Carolyn DeLucia:and I have to show women what's what down there too. So it's
Carolyn DeLucia:just helpful to understand the labia majora versus the labia
Carolyn DeLucia:minora versus the Skene's glands versus the Bartholin's gland
Carolyn DeLucia:openings, all different areas of our very intricate anatomy.
Anne Truong:So what's the role of the Bartholin's glands,
Anne Truong:which, show us where the Bartholin's glands are at.
Anne Truong:The Bartholin's glands are way down here. They secrete a teeny
Anne Truong:weeny bit of mucousy type of discharge. They are not the same
Anne Truong:as vaginal lubrication. Now, vaginal lubrication is what we
Anne Truong:in the scientific world called an exudate, which is a secretion
Anne Truong:from the entire length of the vagina. It's a moisture that
Anne Truong:comes out from the full length of the vaginal vault, from the
Anne Truong:blood flow to the area. So when women become menopausal, meaning
Anne Truong:not making estrogen anymore, we lose our estrogenic support to
Anne Truong:the blood flow to the vaginal vault. What that means is
Anne Truong:without estrogen, over time, the tissues of the vagina
Anne Truong:continuously change and thin out and dry out. So gentlemen, I
Anne Truong:want you to understand your women that when we are
Anne Truong:menopausal and not treated, because Dr. Anne will treat your
Anne Truong:women as well to make sure that they can maintain their blood
Anne Truong:flow to the vagina, and that will enable them to lubricate.
Anne Truong:But if not, it feels like having sex with a cactus. Not joking,
Anne Truong:it will feel horrible, like a hairbrush, the bristles of a
Anne Truong:hairbrush, and it becomes agonizing. That is not pleasant,
Anne Truong:and they will try to avoid it, pretend they're asleep, tell you
Anne Truong:to go elsewhere. They don't mean either. They're just in so much
Anne Truong:discomfort they can't even emotionally go there. I saw a 73
Anne Truong:year old woman today, and it broke my heart because she came
Anne Truong:to me and said, Finally, I found you. For the past 10 to 15
Anne Truong:years, I've been asking my gynecologist to help me with my
Anne Truong:ability to tolerate intercourse, I can't tolerate it. I no longer
Anne Truong:want it because I fear the pain, but I love my husband, and I
Anne Truong:want to get back to that intimacy. But my doctor kept on
Anne Truong:telling me, oh, forget about it. You're past all that. That's not
Anne Truong:right. There's no need for us to ever be past all that, if we as
Anne Truong:partners are not at the same place. In other words, if Dr.
Anne Truong:Truong has treated you successfully to maintain your
Anne Truong:erections and be able to enjoy intimacy, if it's on your own,
Anne Truong:then allow her to treat your partner and make Her able to
Anne Truong:enjoy this intimate moment together. Right?
Anne Truong:Absolutely. One of my passion for the men is that painful
Anne Truong:intercourse for a woman in menopause should not happen. It
Anne Truong:is reversible, easily correctable, yes, just a topical
Anne Truong:or even a lubricant. Even be non hormonal, just a topical hormone
Anne Truong:that will actually reverse it within days, right? I mean, I
Anne Truong:see my patient feeling better within 3 to 5 days, with just
Anne Truong:some topical estrogen, with some DHEA, and even non hormonal,
Anne Truong:using platelet rich plasma to just bring in more blood flow,
Anne Truong:more lubrication to the area. But no woman should be suffering
Anne Truong:from sandpaper or intercourse. You feel like you know, a
Anne Truong:hairbrush brushing against this. It should not be uncomfortable.
Anne Truong:it's correctable. So guys, if you're listening to this, tell
Anne Truong:your partner, tell somebody you know that is in menopause.
Anne Truong:Usually women in menopause ranges between even as late as
Anne Truong:early as mid 40 to even 60 is the range. Menopause means that
Anne Truong:they're not having their period anymore for one year. But
Anne Truong:oftentimes women don't realize that. They don't realize that
Anne Truong:their hormones is what changes in the hormone is what is
Anne Truong:causing the discomfort. Oftentimes, unfortunately, they
Anne Truong:blame themselves, right? Yeah, they blame themselves for having
Anne Truong:the pain. It's like they don't know what they don't know. And
Anne Truong:they're like, Well, I guess must be getting old. My body is not
Anne Truong:liking sex anymore, so I just have to accept that. Right?
Carolyn DeLucia:No, don't accept it. And it doesn't have
Carolyn DeLucia:to be that way. Similar to how gentlemen, should never think
Carolyn DeLucia:that it's necessary to experience erectile dysfunction.
Carolyn DeLucia:We have so many solutions for the treatment of erectile
Carolyn DeLucia:dysfunction, as we have treatment for any of the vaginal
Carolyn DeLucia:issues women encounter the vaginal dryness and discomfort
Carolyn DeLucia:with sex is the only symptom of menopause that gets worse over
Carolyn DeLucia:time, if untreated, compared to any other symptom, the hot
Carolyn DeLucia:flashes, the night sweats, the terrible mood swings, all of
Carolyn DeLucia:those mellow out despite any treatment, However, vaginal
Carolyn DeLucia:discomfort atrophy, as we call it, which is the continual
Carolyn DeLucia:change in the tissues will get worse, if unaddressed over time,
Carolyn DeLucia:making it more and more impossible to endure vaginal
Carolyn DeLucia:penetration and eventually the pain is enough to turn off any
Carolyn DeLucia:desire, because they're so afraid of the pain they don't
Carolyn DeLucia:want you to even touch that super sensitive tip of the
Carolyn DeLucia:clitoris anymore, because they're afraid of where it might
Carolyn DeLucia:lead, and they don't even want to have an orgasm anymore.
Carolyn DeLucia:Imagine that how unnecessary that any of us should have to go
Carolyn DeLucia:through life loving our partner and unable to engage in
Carolyn DeLucia:intimacy?
Anne Truong:Oh, yes. And in fact, Dr. DeLucia wrote two
Anne Truong:books. The first one is Ultimate Intimacy. There you're go. You
Anne Truong:can find that on Amazon. And I'll put the link to her book
Anne Truong:and the episode description. The second book is Ultimate
Anne Truong:Connection, there you go. And I'll put that link as well, too.
Anne Truong:And that's one of her many books. And take it from her. She
Anne Truong:knows because she, we are both very passionate about treating
Anne Truong:sexual health, because we know that is a real, a big component
Anne Truong:of intimacy and relationship.
Anne Truong:Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't have to
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Anne Truong:is your step by step, path to sexual confidence and
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Anne Truong:get this journey started together. Check out the course
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Anne Truong:I just want to backtrack a little bit, and you said earlier
Anne Truong:that ejaculate and squirting are different. What is the
Anne Truong:difference?
Carolyn DeLucia:Okay, so squirting is an involuntary
Carolyn DeLucia:excretion of abundant fluid coming from the Skene's and
Carolyn DeLucia:urethra in women, and that women cannot control or stop. But it's
Carolyn DeLucia:abundant, typically, more than just a few drops. Every woman
Carolyn DeLucia:and orgasm will be secreting something from the Skene's
Carolyn DeLucia:glands. And if you actually during a really strong orgasm,
Carolyn DeLucia:if a woman feels either side of the urethra. You can feel a
Carolyn DeLucia:pulsation going on in that area, and that is just like an
Carolyn DeLucia:ejaculation in a male.
Anne Truong:So it comes from the same orifice, same opening,
Anne Truong:that's correct, and squirting is just more volume?
Carolyn DeLucia:That's correct.
Anne Truong:But the same fluid?
Carolyn DeLucia:Yes, very similar.
Anne Truong:Very similar. Now, does all women squirt?
Carolyn DeLucia:All women have the potential to squirt? Yes.
Carolyn DeLucia:With appropriate arousal and enough stimulation of that
Carolyn DeLucia:anterior wall of the vagina. As a matter of fact, a friend of
Carolyn DeLucia:ours, Dr. Charles Runnels, has written a book on guiding women
Carolyn DeLucia:just how to make that happen. So do refer them there.
Anne Truong:Exactly, and I'll link that book too. It's also on
Anne Truong:Amazon as well. So having said that, and I've actually learned
Anne Truong:something, and you've explained it so well. And between the
Anne Truong:Bartholin's glands and the Skene's glands. If I learned
Anne Truong:something, imagine all men. How, you know, I mean, just looking
Anne Truong:at the anatomy, you show the vulva everybody, that's a
Anne Truong:familiar thing, but a lot of the anatomy is really behind the
Anne Truong:labia. How can I get the male has to kind of know the anatomy
Anne Truong:and get your book and follow along?
Carolyn DeLucia:Practice makes perfect.
Anne Truong:That's right. So what advice you have to our
Anne Truong:listeners, who are 98% men, on how to arouse and get their
Anne Truong:woman to that orgasmic state.
Carolyn DeLucia:The biggest thing is to pay attention to her
Carolyn DeLucia:body language, and I believe that women will show signs. If,
Carolyn DeLucia:men, she's laying there like a locks, doing nothing, something
Carolyn DeLucia:must not be happening. Now I'm going to say that the woman has
Carolyn DeLucia:to be present, meaning that mentally and physically, she has
Carolyn DeLucia:to be willing to be a participant. But if she is and
Carolyn DeLucia:she loves you, then when you begin to see her moving along
Carolyn DeLucia:with your advances and her body is responding, then you know
Carolyn DeLucia:that you are doing the correct thing. And when she postures
Carolyn DeLucia:more as if she is getting closer to that orgasmic level with
Carolyn DeLucia:maybe the head back, the eyes closing, all of those signs, you
Carolyn DeLucia:know you're right on the right path, and keep doing what you're
Carolyn DeLucia:doing. Don't stop. Don't stop. And hopefully she's willing to
Carolyn DeLucia:communicate back to you how well you're doing. I do understand
Carolyn DeLucia:that for women, when we are stimulating our man, and there's
Carolyn DeLucia:success in that, that we have an outward sign from you,
Carolyn DeLucia:obviously, there's an obvious ejaculate, and that is a sign to
Carolyn DeLucia:us that we have accomplished what we have been seeking. And
Carolyn DeLucia:for gentlemen, there isn't as obvious a sign from their woman,
Carolyn DeLucia:but when she is truly involved and present and responding to
Carolyn DeLucia:you, it's hard to fake it. You know the difference once you've
Carolyn DeLucia:been with a woman long enough.
Anne Truong:And if you are going to talk about the
Anne Truong:erogenous zone for women, let's kind of teach our men now to be
Anne Truong:the Casanova. Let's hit the erogenous zone. Woman kind of in
Anne Truong:the mood and ready. What would be those steps?
Carolyn DeLucia:Okay, so I think the very first step now
Carolyn DeLucia:some women like you to be approaching the genitalia right
Carolyn DeLucia:away, but some women don't mind a little gentle touch, which
Carolyn DeLucia:every bit of our body is truly an exogenous zone. So even
Carolyn DeLucia:starting at the temples and rubbing the temples and just
Carolyn DeLucia:relaxing her, rubbing her forehead, working your way down.
Carolyn DeLucia:And you can judge if they're ready for you to touch more
Carolyn DeLucia:intimate areas, meaning the breast, and working your way
Carolyn DeLucia:down to the genitalia, but you have to be the connoisseur of
Carolyn DeLucia:your own woman and understand what steps she's ready for.
Carolyn DeLucia:Should she be ready for clitoral stimulation? As I mentioned
Carolyn DeLucia:earlier, don't be shy to try to understand what type of touch
Carolyn DeLucia:she needs. A simple question, do you like it firm? Do you like it
Carolyn DeLucia:gentle? What helps you more? And those types of communications in
Carolyn DeLucia:that moment? Show you care, like my little doggy.
Anne Truong:First we have your cat. Now we have your dog.
Carolyn DeLucia:Thank goodness it's not my 19 chickens.
Anne Truong:That's coming up. That's coming up, right? Yeah,
Anne Truong:that's what makes it so fun. You never know what shows up when
Anne Truong:you're talking to Caroline. Yeah, you have her dog now on
Anne Truong:this. So we're definitely going to keep that in the podcast.
Anne Truong:That's what the fun part about that. All right, so listen to
Anne Truong:your women, ask her what she would like. Every woman is
Anne Truong:different, and every woman is unique. And go slow. And I heard
Anne Truong:from you at the beginning of our discussion, was that foreplay
Anne Truong:could even take 24 hours, at the beginning of the day.
Carolyn DeLucia:You got it. We're not a switch, we're not
Carolyn DeLucia:easy to turn on and off.
Anne Truong:Right, right. We're not a switch, we're not easy to
Anne Truong:turn off. I kind of also hear from you is that you got the
Anne Truong:vaginal lubrication, then you also have the ejaculate as well.
Anne Truong:So there's a lot fluid and lubrication going on?
Carolyn DeLucia:Yes, absolutely. And if it ever feels
Carolyn DeLucia:like the friction sometimes gentlemen like penetration,
Carolyn DeLucia:maybe before a woman is quite ready. In that scenario, the
Carolyn DeLucia:next step is to definitely use a lubricant. Don't be shy about
Carolyn DeLucia:that. Absolutely not. And there are wonderful lubricants on the
Carolyn DeLucia:market. One of my favorite is Uberlube, and it's very nice
Carolyn DeLucia:consistency, disappears after quite, it's very comfortable,
Carolyn DeLucia:and not messy. And with that, it's a wonderful way to ease
Carolyn DeLucia:comfort with penetration and not make it uncomfortable. Should
Carolyn DeLucia:that friction be required for longer than the woman is able to
Carolyn DeLucia:naturally maintain sometimes, as gentlemen get older, they have
Carolyn DeLucia:what we call delayed ejaculate, and there's nothing wrong with
Carolyn DeLucia:that. And certainly, as a loving partner, you don't mind being
Carolyn DeLucia:involved for the longer period of time, as long as it's
Carolyn DeLucia:comfortable for both of you. So a little lubricant goes a long
Carolyn DeLucia:way.
Anne Truong:Right. I love that, and I also recommend Uberlube.
Anne Truong:And we'll also put that link for Uberlube as well. I want to
Anne Truong:touch briefly on when we were talking about a very serious
Anne Truong:subject that you and I are very passionate about, is that
Anne Truong:discomfort with intercourse for women, which is treatable. So
Anne Truong:for the listeners that are listening to this, what are some
Anne Truong:treatment that are available for women to get rid of that
Anne Truong:sandpaper field, that discomfort field, that they can go talk to
Anne Truong:their doctor and get treatment for?
Carolyn DeLucia:The number one standard of care in the
Carolyn DeLucia:gynecological world is local estrogen or local DHEA. Both of
Carolyn DeLucia:there are several products on the market that are FDA approved
Carolyn DeLucia:and covered by insurance that will at least be able to be used
Carolyn DeLucia:locally. However, are they my favorite? No because we have to
Carolyn DeLucia:balance the dose with systemic absorption. So some women would
Carolyn DeLucia:require a lot higher dose than what actually would help their
Carolyn DeLucia:tissues in order to achieve that success. So then it might get
Carolyn DeLucia:into their bloodstream, which is not desired. So when that
Carolyn DeLucia:happens, women, despite the use of the local hormone, may still
Carolyn DeLucia:be uncomfortable. That's when all of the non traditional
Carolyn DeLucia:treatments offered by doctors like myself, which would be
Carolyn DeLucia:functional gynecologist, regenerative gynecologist,
Carolyn DeLucia:aesthetic gynecologist. We have many names these days, but we
Carolyn DeLucia:have alternative therapies such as low intensity extracorporeal
Carolyn DeLucia:shockwave, lasers, either CO2 or erbium, we have radio frequency,
Carolyn DeLucia:painless devices that can treat the tissues, as well as all the
Carolyn DeLucia:regenerative procedures, such as PRP, exosomes, etc, protein
Carolyn DeLucia:concentrate. There are many evolutions of regenerative
Carolyn DeLucia:procedures these days that we can use to replenish the blood
Carolyn DeLucia:supply and integrity of the tissues.
Anne Truong:Absolutely. First, topical, DHEA and estrogen.
Anne Truong:Well, estrogen, you can't get that over the counter.
Carolyn DeLucia:No, these are prescription. They're all, even
Carolyn DeLucia:the DHEA, suppositories are prescription in the United
Carolyn DeLucia:States for the vagina.
Anne Truong:Exactly. So you have to, kind of go see your
Anne Truong:gynecologist, but not all gynecologists do hormones,
Anne Truong:right, right? So that's kind of discrepancy there, too. So you
Anne Truong:have to kind of go see like a functional gynecologist, or what
Anne Truong:she was saying, regenerative medicine gynecologist, and
Anne Truong:discuss this with them, which is, make things more complicated
Anne Truong:for women. You know, it's hard enough as it is, and then you go
Anne Truong:see a gynecologist who's not comfortable with hormones or is
Anne Truong:familiar with it, that person may say you don't need it,
Anne Truong:you're too old or not important anymore, and really downplay
Anne Truong:your symptoms. And so you have to kind of be an advocate for
Anne Truong:yourself and your health. And I know that Dr DeLucia and I will
Anne Truong:agree on this, that we believe that you can have sexual
Anne Truong:activity to the day you die. You don't have to give it up as you
Anne Truong:get older. And that is a myth that we were taught, you know,
Anne Truong:in the 1700s. We are now in 2025 that is no longer true. You can
Anne Truong:still enjoy sexual activity with everything to the day you die,
Anne Truong:because now we have technology to replenish the blood flow down
Anne Truong:in the genitalia to make it function again, as if you were
Anne Truong:in your 30s again. But you don't have to worry about all the
Anne Truong:contraception.
Carolyn DeLucia:That's the plus, right? So we are very
Carolyn DeLucia:similar in age, and we practice what we preach as far as
Carolyn DeLucia:maintaining our own health and our own longevity. It's more
Carolyn DeLucia:than just sex. It's about our ability to live our lives to the
Carolyn DeLucia:fullest and to the best of our capabilities. Overall intimacy
Carolyn DeLucia:is, of course, a very critical part of that.
Anne Truong:And having said that, I want to ask you two
Anne Truong:things, what is ultimate intimacy and what is ultimate
Anne Truong:connection? Can you explain that to us?
Carolyn DeLucia:Ultimate intimacy is just my way of
Carolyn DeLucia:saying, Be your best intimate partner. Intimacy has a range of
Carolyn DeLucia:meaning. It can mean meeting you where you are. It means if,
Carolyn DeLucia:let's say you are well into your 80s, and at this point, there
Carolyn DeLucia:are clinical reasons why actually having penetrating
Carolyn DeLucia:intercourse is no longer the priority, but maybe cuddling is
Carolyn DeLucia:if that's how you define your ultimate intimacy, that's a way
Carolyn DeLucia:of maintaining that ultimate connection. Ultimate connection
Carolyn DeLucia:is really learning number one, love yourself, and number two,
Carolyn DeLucia:then you can love others. So when it comes to the ultimate
Carolyn DeLucia:connection, you've got to connect with yourself first and
Carolyn DeLucia:then others. And it takes some learning and sometimes maturity,
Carolyn DeLucia:to be able to overlook your own faults, overlook noise in your
Carolyn DeLucia:head, and come to the realization that maybe you're
Carolyn DeLucia:not so bad, and maybe someone else can love you too.
Anne Truong:Oh, I love that. Make sure men and the women
Anne Truong:listening to this get her book. I will link that in the
Anne Truong:description. Ultimate Intimacy and Ultimate Connection, because
Anne Truong:I think that once you read that it will be an easier way for you
Anne Truong:to talk to your partner. Because I noticed that the one of the
Anne Truong:most challenges that my men face is that how to talk to their
Anne Truong:partner openly to have them understand that sexual
Anne Truong:intercourse is important for them, even in 70s. I saw a 79
Anne Truong:year old male today who lost his wife a year ago and wants to get
Anne Truong:back to dating again, and he wants to be able to have
Anne Truong:intercourse. He has ED for the past 10 years, but he wants to
Anne Truong:get back in the game. And I love that, and I think that is so
Anne Truong:sweet, and definitely is possible, and we're going to do
Anne Truong:everything we can to get him functioning again. But that's
Anne Truong:really kind of the minority, right? Because sometimes people
Anne Truong:will say, Well, you're 79, what do you want thinking about
Anne Truong:having sexual activity? So having said that, I'm so
Anne Truong:grateful that you here with us in this episode, teaching us
Anne Truong:about the female pleasure system. And women, I hope you
Anne Truong:learn something. I've learned something. Men, please listen to
Anne Truong:this at least three times, get her book, because it's
Anne Truong:oftentimes it knowing your partner better than she even
Anne Truong:knows herself is really the way to her heart. And is that, what
Anne Truong:do you say about that?
Carolyn DeLucia:I love that. Perfect.
Anne Truong:So how can our listeners find out more about
Anne Truong:you, to work with you?
Carolyn DeLucia:Oh, well, on Instagram. I'm simply Carolyn
Carolyn DeLucia:DeLucia, MD, and you could certainly follow me there and
Carolyn DeLucia:private message me if you do need to, and I'm happy to answer
Carolyn DeLucia:your questions. My office website is DrCarolynDeLucia.com
Carolyn DeLucia:I try to not make this complicated. And you could
Carolyn DeLucia:always reach out for me there and try to reach the office. My
Carolyn DeLucia:office phone number directly is 9084315849, I'm in New Jersey
Carolyn DeLucia:and Manhattan.
Anne Truong:And she's not only an excellent doctor, she's also
Anne Truong:a good person as well. So beautiful on the outside,
Anne Truong:beautiful on the inside. I've known her for a very long time,
Anne Truong:and just very grateful for our friendship and just, you know,
Anne Truong:sharing our same interests together, and we always laugh
Anne Truong:when we're together. She always surprise me. I never know what
Anne Truong:to expect from you. We have the clitoris. We have your cat.We
Anne Truong:have your dog. Well, now we're missing the chicken right now.
Unknown:Well I do have an incredible man, let's not forget
Unknown:him.
Anne Truong:That's right, and she's getting married soon,
Anne Truong:right? Congratulations on that. Yeah, and I hope to meet him one
Anne Truong:day as well. So reach out to Dr. Carolyn if you're in New Jersey
Anne Truong:and in Manhattan. And having said that, guys, I hope that we
Anne Truong:have given you some tips, the female and how to arouse her.
Anne Truong:And that know about the clitoris. That's right, know
Anne Truong:about the clitoris, and you may even know more than your
Anne Truong:partner, which is awesome. So we will see you in the next
Anne Truong:episode.
Carolyn DeLucia:Thank you.
Anne Truong:Thank you.
Anne Truong:Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't have to
Anne Truong:suffer anymore. ED can feel isolating, frustrating, and even
Anne Truong:defeating. The endless guessing, the quiet shame, the weight of
Anne Truong:not feeling like yourself is exhausting. But here's the
Anne Truong:truth, you are not broken. You are not alone. You don't have to
Anne Truong:figure this out alone anymore. The Get Wood Now Boost Program
Anne Truong:is your step by step, path to sexual confidence and
Anne Truong:restoration. No more suffering in silence, no more trial and
Anne Truong:error, just real solution, real result and the confidence you
Anne Truong:deserve. It's time to take back your power on your term. Let's
Anne Truong:get this journey started together. Check out the course
Anne Truong:at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you there.
Anne Truong:Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men Podcast.
Anne Truong:If you love this episode, then please take a screenshot on your
Anne Truong:phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you post,
Anne Truong:and be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode
Anne Truong:and what you like to hear in the future. That will help me know
Anne Truong:what's great for you and I would love to give you the most
Anne Truong:incredible free gift designed to help you improve performance
Anne Truong:quickly. Go to my website at sexualhealthformenpodcast.com to
Anne Truong:get the book, The Five Common Costly Mistakes Men Make When
Anne Truong:Facing ED. I would appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on
Anne Truong:Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. And just know that you
Anne Truong:can have sexual vitality for life. I appreciate you until
Anne Truong:next time.