1 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:04,830 Hi there. 2 00:00:05,270 --> 00:00:06,080 It's Sue. 3 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,690 And thanks for joining me for tips and talk day. 4 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:13,310 These are bite-sized topics that I pull from community questions and 5 00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:16,850 things that I'm observing in the world of handmade small business. 6 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:18,890 If you'd like to submit a topic, 7 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:22,700 DME, over on Instagram at gift biz unwrapped, 8 00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:24,980 how's your confidence ranking. 9 00:00:25,910 --> 00:00:27,650 I'm recently back from Phoenix, 10 00:00:27,650 --> 00:00:32,330 where I attended the gifted designer conference kicking off that event. 11 00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:38,060 Lisa Payden from the personal gift basket did a presentation on 12 00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:41,960 creating a confident you and I heard what she had to 13 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,400 say. I thought, 14 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:44,720 ah, ha, 15 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:49,460 this could be a tips and talk conversation where I can 16 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:52,940 add my personal spin to the things that she's talking about. 17 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:58,460 This whole idea of confidence is so important because it literally 18 00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:00,470 can make or break your business. 19 00:01:00,950 --> 00:01:03,500 As I work with people who are just starting out, 20 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:08,000 I'll tell you some people don't even take the very first 21 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:12,980 step because they're concerned about themselves and whether they can actually 22 00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:13,430 do it. 23 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:17,690 And this plays right into a portion of Lisa's presentation, 24 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:22,460 where she stated five traits of low confidence. 25 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:23,960 I titled this, 26 00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:25,640 what's your confidence ranking, 27 00:01:25,730 --> 00:01:27,920 and I'm not doing a numbers thing where you have to 28 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,290 add up your points and figure out where you are on 29 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:31,010 a scale. 30 00:01:31,370 --> 00:01:33,710 But I want you to mentally just think to yourself, 31 00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:37,190 well, how am I ranking on each of these five points 32 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,600 of low confidence? 33 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,920 The first one is doubting your abilities. 34 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,980 Where do you rank in terms of whether you think you 35 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:49,610 have the ability to succeed in your business? 36 00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:52,790 Many have a dream that they'd like to pursue, 37 00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:55,670 but they're afraid that it's not going to be able to 38 00:01:55,670 --> 00:02:00,110 work for them because why they don't have any business experience 39 00:02:00,230 --> 00:02:01,850 never in their past. 40 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:05,570 Have they ever been really working to do something themselves? 41 00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:08,150 They've always been working for someone and being told what they 42 00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:09,770 should do or what their job is. 43 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,450 And now it would be all on them. 44 00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:14,540 So they're worried about if they actually have the experience and 45 00:02:14,540 --> 00:02:17,180 the ability to run their own business. 46 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,930 I'll also see people being concerned about marketing and sales. 47 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:22,460 I've never done that before. 48 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:27,740 I'm not outgoing secretly an inter divert all of those types 49 00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:28,280 of things. 50 00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:30,530 When you're thinking that way, 51 00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:32,480 you're mentally getting in your head, 52 00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,760 that you don't have the ability. 53 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,980 Let me share with you the real truth. 54 00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:40,190 You can have as much book smarts as you want. 55 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,190 And I'll see people who have a lot of experience, 56 00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:47,600 they have that degree and they're no better than somebody who's 57 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,000 just starting out without having had the experience. 58 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,950 So I want you to stop thinking about, 59 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:53,480 do I have the ability, 60 00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:57,050 especially with all the access that we have these days to 61 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,970 all different resources, 62 00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:03,150 information, it's so much she's your now than ever before. 63 00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:04,350 You don't need coding. 64 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,720 You don't need tons of technical ability. 65 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,040 You need your skill. 66 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:11,340 You need what you bring to the product that you create. 67 00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:14,370 And from there you can learn everything else. 68 00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:15,600 So this first one, 69 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,730 again, doubting your abilities. 70 00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:21,510 This decreases your level of confidence. 71 00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:26,640 The same second one that Lisa talked about was feeling isolated, 72 00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:29,850 feeling like you're in this all by yourself. 73 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,730 So how are you ever going to learn everything? 74 00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:34,050 Because you're all alone. 75 00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:38,820 I think the reason why we feel less than confident with 76 00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:42,480 this particular one is that we're afraid to reach out for 77 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:46,080 help. We're afraid to ask other people or even admit that 78 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,700 maybe we don't know something. 79 00:03:48,150 --> 00:03:49,500 When in truth, 80 00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:54,270 there are so many people available to help you at the 81 00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:56,520 conference that I've been referencing here. 82 00:03:56,850 --> 00:04:01,050 They're all people with similar types of businesses and what are 83 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:01,530 we doing? 84 00:04:01,530 --> 00:04:05,040 We're in a room supporting each other because we're each in 85 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:07,050 certain areas of the country. 86 00:04:07,110 --> 00:04:09,240 We each have different audiences. 87 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:13,590 So don't feel like you have to either keep your product 88 00:04:13,590 --> 00:04:17,190 so close to you and not let other people know about 89 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,070 it because you're afraid they're going to steal your idea or 90 00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:21,570 all those other things. 91 00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:23,970 If you're feeling like your, 92 00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:25,380 just all by yourself, 93 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,970 reach out to business groups like chamber of commerce or small 94 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,500 business association, 95 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,440 and start rubbing shoulders with other people who are doing a 96 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,640 similar thing to you, 97 00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:39,480 because there is no reason you should feel isolated, 98 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:43,020 nor is that the best way to achieve success. 99 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,270 You want to be surrounded with other people who are doing 100 00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:46,800 something very similar to you. 101 00:04:47,430 --> 00:04:49,620 Point number three of traits. 102 00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:54,000 When you have low confidence is running from challenges, 103 00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:57,660 not taking risks at all. 104 00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:01,440 Anyone you talk to who's had a successful business will tell 105 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:06,600 you that you take more risks and you see that things 106 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,990 don't necessarily work out the way you want many, 107 00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:14,070 many, many times before you actually land what works. 108 00:05:14,550 --> 00:05:15,900 This is just part of the gig. 109 00:05:15,930 --> 00:05:18,180 This is part of what you buy into. 110 00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:21,210 When you decide you're going to build your own business, 111 00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:22,260 you're going to try something. 112 00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:23,130 It's not going to work. 113 00:05:23,550 --> 00:05:24,810 You're going to tweak it a little bit. 114 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:25,950 You'll try something else. 115 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:26,970 It might not work. 116 00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:30,360 You'll hear about something that someone else is doing. 117 00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:31,260 You try that. 118 00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:34,200 Maybe it works a little bit for you. 119 00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:37,590 And then finally you land on something that is the golden 120 00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:39,510 gem that really works for you. 121 00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:43,920 But it's by taking all of these little individual steps that 122 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,550 you get to the point where something actually truly works. 123 00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:50,070 You need to be a risk taker. 124 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,570 Yeah, it's going to be uncomfortable. 125 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,870 But when you think of these things as experiments and you 126 00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:55,920 take these risks, 127 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,160 that's when see success. 128 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,140 And if you run from everything, 129 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,610 if you just want to do it, 130 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:02,630 the easy, 131 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:03,980 safe way, 132 00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,690 you'll never get anywhere. 133 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:07,610 Point number four, 134 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,220 comparing yourself to others. 135 00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:13,010 When you compare yourself to authors, 136 00:06:13,310 --> 00:06:18,080 obviously you get intimidated and your confidence drops way down. 137 00:06:18,650 --> 00:06:19,190 All right? 138 00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:22,010 Comparisonitis we all have it. 139 00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:24,470 No matter how successful you are. 140 00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:27,290 If you start looking at what other people are doing, 141 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:30,860 it starts to intimidate you and make you feel maybe a 142 00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:31,940 little bit less than, 143 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:34,940 and maybe someone else's doing something better than you. 144 00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:37,850 It's natural to feel that way. 145 00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:41,840 I found the best thing is look at other people who 146 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:45,800 are doing something similar and use it to your advantage versus 147 00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:48,680 it totally tanking your confidence. 148 00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:52,760 What are they doing that you could add to what you're 149 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,560 doing? And honestly, 150 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:59,030 not everything that other businesses do is something that would integrate 151 00:06:59,030 --> 00:07:01,010 well within your own company. 152 00:07:01,010 --> 00:07:02,360 Even if you're selling the same product, 153 00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:04,690 because you have different audiences, 154 00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:08,350 yours spin off your business in terms of the messaging that 155 00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:09,790 you bring might be different. 156 00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:11,860 So you always want to look at what other people are 157 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:13,180 doing in your industry, 158 00:07:13,510 --> 00:07:16,750 and then judge for yourself of whether it applies to your 159 00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:17,830 business or not, 160 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,940 not judging that they're doing something that you're not doing. 161 00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,320 And for whatever reason, 162 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,490 then they're better. 163 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,190 That's when the comparison itis comes in. 164 00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:30,160 The other thing to keep yourself in check. 165 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,270 When you're looking at other people is remind yourself of how 166 00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:35,590 long they've been in business. 167 00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:38,620 If you've started only a year or two ago, 168 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:42,130 and you're comparing yourself against somebody who's been in business for 169 00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:42,880 10 or 15, 170 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:43,570 nine years, 171 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,560 obviously you're going to see things a little more buttoned down. 172 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,050 They've been doing this way longer than you have. 173 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,650 So don't use them as a marker in the sand of 174 00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:56,020 what you have or haven't achieved yet. 175 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,400 There are also people I will say that start their business 176 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,390 and right away just catapult and move forward very quickly. 177 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:05,770 Well, that's great, 178 00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:07,420 but they might have hired coaches. 179 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:11,020 They might have started with more funding than you. 180 00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:11,320 I mean, 181 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,180 everyone starts at a different place. 182 00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:16,870 So you really need to think of your business as your 183 00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:17,980 own journey. 184 00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:21,220 Listen, there are lots of different reasons why people will start 185 00:08:21,220 --> 00:08:21,910 their business. 186 00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:26,170 Some of it is the empowerment that you feel the excitement 187 00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:27,970 of building something for yourself, 188 00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:31,720 getting out of being committed to somebody else for the nine 189 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,090 to five and all of their goals. 190 00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:36,220 You want to work towards your goals. 191 00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:37,840 There are lots of different reasons. 192 00:08:37,870 --> 00:08:38,470 And you know, 193 00:08:38,530 --> 00:08:42,190 none of what I just said was only to make money, 194 00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:46,600 right? Because there are psychological reasons why you start your business. 195 00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:48,580 There are more concrete, 196 00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:50,950 financial reasons why you would start your business, 197 00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:51,730 et cetera. 198 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:53,740 And when we're talking about confidence, 199 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,280 all of that sits in psychological zone, 200 00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:56,910 doesn't it? 201 00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:00,000 Okay. Rounding this out. 202 00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:02,760 Point number five on Lisa's chart. 203 00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:04,140 No self grace. 204 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,140 Why are we so hard on ourselves all the time? 205 00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:08,160 You know, 206 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,340 when we trip just the littlest bit, 207 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,780 we say such mean things to ourselves and we just put 208 00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:17,730 ourselves down in this little hole, 209 00:09:17,730 --> 00:09:19,890 like I knew you couldn't do this. 210 00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:23,460 Who were you thinking that you would be able to create 211 00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:24,990 your own business from scratch? 212 00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:25,920 No, no, 213 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:26,180 no, no, 214 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,500 no enough of that kind of thinking, 215 00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:31,740 give yourself some grace, 216 00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:35,580 especially if you're doing something for the very first time you're 217 00:09:35,580 --> 00:09:39,270 learning, you're going to improve and you're going to get better 218 00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,670 each and every time. 219 00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:45,930 And just think about something that maybe you've done in your 220 00:09:45,930 --> 00:09:48,150 life. That the first time you weren't so good at, 221 00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:52,980 but now that you've perfected your systems or your ways you've 222 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:54,060 trained yourself, 223 00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,220 now you're a pro at it. 224 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:57,330 So again, 225 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:03,270 the five traits of lower self-confidence are doubting our abilities, 226 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,490 feeling isolated. 227 00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:09,420 And I'm going to say feeling isolated versus needing to be 228 00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:13,380 isolated. You aren't three running from challenges. 229 00:10:13,410 --> 00:10:17,100 So not being a risk taker because that we have to 230 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:19,170 do. If we're going to see any level of success, 231 00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:21,750 comparing ourselves to others, 232 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:22,920 I know we do it. 233 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,390 It feels so yucky, 234 00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,110 doesn't it. 235 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,110 But if you put it into a different position in your 236 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:30,480 mind about what you're actually looking at, 237 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,700 when you look at others versus saying, 238 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:33,780 they're better than me, 239 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,030 just look at examples of things that they do, 240 00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:39,930 that you could potentially integrate in to up your game. 241 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,220 And finally, 242 00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:46,380 this whole idea of self grace being nicer to yourself and 243 00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:48,180 allowing yourself to learn. 244 00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:50,370 A lot of us are moms here. 245 00:10:50,790 --> 00:10:53,460 If you're a little toddlers learning to walk and they fall 246 00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:54,150 down and skin, 247 00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:57,390 their knee do yell at them and tell them they're bad. 248 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,190 And they'll never be a good Walker. 249 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:00,720 Of course not. 250 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,170 You know, 251 00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:03,480 you lift them up and you tell them it's okay. 252 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,140 It's okay. 253 00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:06,000 And then you guide them a little bit. 254 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,240 You know, 255 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,890 you give them some stability. 256 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,420 They strengthen their legs. 257 00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:13,050 And my guess is they learn how to walk. 258 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,840 We need to do the same thing for ourselves. 259 00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:19,530 Okay? Have a little grace and caring and comfort for yourself. 260 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:25,320 When you upgrade your whole support system and the ideas under 261 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,850 this confidence factor, 262 00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:30,360 you'll see an impact on your sales because you're going to 263 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,830 show up stronger. 264 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,320 And just by being more confident, 265 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:37,200 you're going to attract more business and more sales to you. 266 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:40,350 We all know when you're talking with other people and they're 267 00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,180 like, oh yeah. 268 00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:42,990 Oh wait, 269 00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:44,580 you want to know how much that cost? 270 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,260 Well, let me go back and look on my sheet, 271 00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:46,860 you know, 272 00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:49,200 versus someone who says, 273 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:49,680 oh yes, 274 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,020 those are three for $15. 275 00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:55,540 And the great thing this product is that whatever you're going 276 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:56,020 to say, 277 00:11:56,560 --> 00:12:00,640 you're much more likely to buy from someone who's interacting with 278 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:01,900 you confidently. 279 00:12:02,170 --> 00:12:04,660 And if you're interested in purchasing guides, 280 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:06,670 you along the path to the sale, 281 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:11,620 Michelle James from uniquely made for more provided a great comment 282 00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,030 on this topic. 283 00:12:13,030 --> 00:12:14,260 She says, 284 00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:14,890 as humans, 285 00:12:14,890 --> 00:12:17,710 we're imperfect prone to fail and make mistakes. 286 00:12:17,710 --> 00:12:19,870 We need to accept our humanity, 287 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,280 laugh at ourselves, 288 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:25,210 brush it off and keep moving right on Michelle. 289 00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,050 And thanks, 290 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:28,360 Lisa, for the inspiration for the topic today. 291 00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:33,100 Now let's all go out and face the world with confidence. 292 00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:35,620 That's a wrap. 293 00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:37,840 I'm a get to the point kind of girl. 294 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,780 And this is what you can expect from these quick midweek 295 00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:45,850 sessions. Now it's your turn go out and fulfill that dream 296 00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:46,630 of yours. 297 00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:49,090 Share your handmade products with us. 298 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,110 We want them and they bring us both so much happiness..