Alex: Sometimes, a great piece of advice comes into our life at exactly the right moment.

Ciara: The person who I looked up to the most growing up was probably my cousin.

Alex: For Ciara Lawrence, that moment came when she was 12 years old.

Ciara: I would go and see him on holidays in Ireland.

Alex: The year was 1992. A time of grunge music and big hair.

Ciara was in Dublin, visiting her cousin and his family.

Ciara: My cousin is The Edge from the Irish rock band U2.

Alex: That’s right – Ciara’s cousin is The Edge, the lead guitarist of the legendary band U2.

Ciara: By then he was really famous when I was growing up. And when I spent time with him, he introduced me to my love of music.

And I used to spend time with him in his studio when he was creating music, and creating songs.

Alex: One afternoon, Ciara was hanging out at her aunt’s house, the Edge’s mum. She was sitting in the lounge with The Edge, just chatting.

Ciara: And he kind of said to me just because you have a learning disability, it doesn't make you any different. It just means you might need some extra support in your life. And everybody has some kind of difficulty in their life. Everybody has barriers.

Alex: It was exactly what Ciara needed to hear. At that time in her young life, she felt that everyone else was ahead of her somehow.

Ciara: I used to have a chip on my shoulder about other people and how well they were doing. And I felt I was far from that. I was quite jealous of people who were doing really well than I was seeing. But actually when he said that to me. Then I kind of opened my mind to it and said okay, so, as long as I ask for help when I need it, when I want it, I can do things like anyone else.

Alex: What The Edge said – it made Ciara feel optimistic about her own future.

Ciara: He taught me that it's okay to be different. And that, you know, we all are different in this world, that if you put your mind to things, and you work really hard for what you want, you can achieve it. And so through him, watching him in his career, made me want to have my own.

Alex: It had been an especially tough few years for Ciara. She was going to a mainstream school, but was really struggling.

Ciara: They had given me no support. I didn't get any help there. So from the age of me being born, to the age of getting to 10, I didn't know I had a learning disability. So at school, I was seen as disruptive. I was seen as naughty, that I didn't want to learn that I didn't want to do anything.

Alex: The teachers, for example, would take her out of class instead of giving her extra help. There was one maths class that was especially horrible.

Ciara: I had got to the point at the beginning of that class, where I just completely gave up, it was like my brain had just gone “stop, enough, I can't, I can't do this anymore.” And so then the teacher pulled me into another room. And I was then taught on my own away from everybody. I was very upset. I felt isolated. It was really difficult. And people didn't understand.

Alex: On top of this, Ciara was bullied. Sometimes she would make herself sick at home so she didn’t have to go to school.

Ciara: I was being laughed at and I was being called names. And I didn't want to face it anymore.

Alex: Eventually, Ciara went through an assessment process to determine if she had Special Educational Needs.

Ciara: I saw language therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists, educational psychologists, I think I saw every therapist there is in this world at the age of 10, when all you're trying to do is grow up and be a child. It was heartbreaking. It was, why am I having to go through this? Why nobody else in my family, why me? Why has it happened to me? Why do I have to do this?

Alex: After she was diagnosed with a learning disability, Ciara started at a new special educational needs school.

Ciara: Going into a new school, you don't know what is going to be like you don't know what, what the people around you are going to be like. It was quite daunting. And I was quite scary and unsettling

Alex: To make matters worse, the new school was an hour and a half away from home. Ciara’s parents decided it would be better to spare everyone the massive commute. So Ciara boarded at the school each week.

Ciara: I felt really angry. I felt really like I didn't want that. I didn't want to be away from home. We actually came to lots of arguments over it. Like, I used to literally scream at my mum on a Sunday when I'd have to pack up and go back. And I felt like they had dumped me in this place. And that I had to get on with it.

I was away from my family. I was away from everything I ever knew. And I had to get used to this new school and the people around me.

Alex: Adjusting to her new school was a rocky experience for her. Things changed when a new person came into Ciara’s life.

Ciara: She was really loud, really outspoken. Just a bit in your face.

Alex: Sally, was in the same dorm room as Ciara at school. And at first, they really didn’t see eye to eye.

Ciara: She hated me. She thought I was a snobby what’s it. I didn't like her, because she was gobby what's it. And we didn't like each other at all, like we clashed.

Alex: Sally was a massive Guns n Roses fan. She put a poster of the band up on the dorm room wall. She would blast their music. Ciara, on the other hand,, was more of a Kylie girl. They would scream at each other.

Ciara: Like “that's horrible!” And “no, don't put that up. No, no!” And literally, like we would, we would be like verbal.

Alex: One night, a classmate said something that upset Ciara. She ran back to the dorm.

Ciara: And I was literally sobbing.

Alex: Sally was in the room.

Ciara: She came and she sat next to me and literally put her arm around me. And that for me was actually– even though I felt the way I felt about her– for her to do that meant so much. And then I think from there, we got to know each other. And we weren’t so different.

She actually then became my best friend. And she stuck up for me. And we used to then go to the same evening clubs together. We would hang out together, we would have fun together, we would laugh together.

Alex: This year, Ciara and Sally are celebrating 30 years of friendship.

Ciara: She’s still my best friend to this day. We’re still like sisters.

My dream growing up was to be somebody like everybody else. People who have a career, people who have a home of their own, people who have a family, people who are happy. I wanted that growing up.

Because I wanted to be independent. I come from a family where people have worked hard for what they have. And I wanted to work hard for what I have.

Alex: Ciara has worked for a learning disability charity called Mencap for 21 years. Her current role is Big Plan Engagement Lead, which means she talks to people with learning disabilities to make sure they’re included in the charity’s strategy.

Ciara: I love my job so much, because it means to me that I'm respected. I'm listened to. I have value. And it means that I can live the life that I want to like anyone else. Because I have a right to it like anybody else does.

Alex: Ciara’s learning disability can mean she sometimes needs help with taking on new things. Like, for example, when she got promoted to Mencap’s leadership team last year.

Ciara: I hired my own PA, my own job assistant with support from Mencap. Now I have her and she's amazing.

Ciara: Because I've got somebody who's there for me, who I can go to, who I can say things to, who teaches me, who helps me and she is there just to support me and my job. And that has really shown that I can do the job to the best of my ability and prove that my promotion was deserved.

When I first went to Mencap, people said to me, people with learning disabilities don’t get married, don't want to have relationships, don't understand commitment.

Alex: Ciara was at a conference with some of her Mencap colleagues.

Ciara: We were all sitting around at tables, and we were having this table discussion about around people with learning disabilities, having relationships and being intimate and basically having sex and, you know, contraception. It was quite a spicy conversation.

Alex: A support worker sitting next to Ciara turned to her and said…

Ciara: People with learning disabilities don't have relationships, blah, blah, blah. They can't love. They don't have boyfriends, girlfriends, they don't get married. And I was in a relationship. And it really rocked me. And I went home that night going, but we do! Why can't we? What the hell? I can't believe what this person said to me.

Alex: That evening, Ciara talked everything through with her partner Mark.

Ciara: And I just said, ‘Look, why don't I show the world that I am a person with a learning disability who’s in a really good relationship’, Let's really push the boundary, let's show the world that we're happy.

Alex: When Mark and Ciara got married, they made sure to put the news all over social media

Ciara: We told our families, we told our friends. Literally, I just went “I'm getting married, I'm engaged. You know, I'm a person with a learning disability; look at me!”

Alex: Afterwards, Ciara got a letter from a young woman who had heard about her wedding and her career at Mencap.

Ciara: And she had just met somebody actually. And she was telling me that, in this letter, that they were going to go for their first date. She said in it that I had inspired her. And literally… my heart just felt so wonderful. That just was amazing. Because, you know, she, she wanted to be like me

Alex: Like The Edge – and the influence he has through U2 - Ciara has always known she wanted a platform of her own. That she could use to help others.

When COVID hit, she saw an opportunity.

Ciara: I felt during the pandemic, I wasn't heard. I felt my voice had been taken away from me for a while. And that people with learning disabilities like me were not being heard at all. And we weren't. And so for me, I decided I wanted to take action, I wanted to do something.

Alex: She read a book called How To Start a Podcast, cover to cover. Saved up to buy a microphone. And she launched Ciara’s Pink Sparkle Podcast.

And she knew exactly who her first guest was going to be.

Ciara: For years now I've grown up watching him on his stage. And now, he sees me on my stage of what I do. And we've got that mutual respect of each other and love for each other. And I think that's always something that can never be taken away.

Alex: Ciara says she’s very proud of everything she’s achieved.

Ciara: What I hope when people listen to this is that they change their perception of people with a learning disability. I hope people go ‘Wow’. She's really come from nothing to everything. I call myself Cinderella sometimes, because I felt I started with nothing. And now I’ve been to the ball. I've got my prince, I've got my happy ever after. It’s like rags to riches.

Alex: Ciara’s heartwarming story makes it all too clear why we should be quick to support those with learning disabilities. Far too often, as a society, we are quick to tell people what they are not capable of. But The Edge’s sage advice to his cousin made it clear that, with the right support, people like Ciara can make a real impact on the world. Ciara is now a role-model to many people with disabilities. She has the life that, as a child, she feared she would not be able to have. She has proved wrong those that told her about all the things people with disabilities could not do. Her positive attitude and sense of fulfilment show how valuable her life and example have been.