Hello everybody and welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad that you're here today. I wanna talk to you about two things that I think will make a big difference for you as you head into the holidays. First, I wanna teach you a simple tool called this is the part where it's one of these ideas that sounds almost. Too simple or small to really matter, but it can completely change the way you handle tricky moments with your adult kids, with your in-laws, your extended family, even actually yourself. It's a tool that I learned from my mentor, Christa St. Germaine. She was one of the coaches that trained me during my life. coach training, and I've adapted this concept to help the women that I serve. And I think that you are really gonna love it. And the second thing I wanna tell you about is this new creation that I made just recently called the holiday bundle 2025. I did one of these the last. Year, and I loved the response that I got, and I listened to the videos I created last year, and they were so good, but I wanted to add more to them. So I'm gonna explain that to you after I explain this concept. And the reason I wanna explain this concept is I wanna give you a taste of what the bundle is like, because each little video is one concept that can help you in your holiday. Preparation. Either your planning, your thought work, or your nervous system regulation. Those are the things I wanna help you with during the holidays. So the bundle is designed to support you from the inside out, right? Because sometimes we do things that look good, but they don't always feel good because what we're experiencing internally isn't quite the same as, you know, planning a beautiful party and getting everything ready and just right and all the food out on time, sometimes there's so much stress involved that we don't actually enjoy ourselves. So just to recap, it's one tool and then the explanation of the bundle. And both are gonna help you feel steadier, calmer, and more aligned with your heart as you move through the season. So let's get started. This tool that I'm gonna share with you is gonna save you a ton of emotional energy during the holiday season and any time of the year, and here is why. During the holidays, we often create stress for ourselves without actually realizing it. Not because anything's going terribly wrong, but because our brain decides that what is happening shouldn't be happening. so here are a few examples. Your adult child walks in late to dinner again, and you think to yourself, this shouldn't be happening. Your daughter-in-law seems quiet and you think she shouldn't be acting like this. Your son says something with a little attitude and you think, I can't believe he's doing this again. you feel triggered. A little snarky. Mm, I kind of annoyed. And then right behind those emotions come to the thought, I shouldn't be feeling like this. I should be doing better. And just like that, instead of dealing with what is, we're arguing with reality and that argument drains more energy than the actual moment itself. So here's the tool. When something predictable happens, say to yourself, this is the part where. Here are some examples. This is the part where my son needs to step outside for a minute, or this is the part where my daughter-in-law keeps to herself until she warms up. This is the part where my kids don't help like I hoped they would. This is the part where I feel overwhelmed for a moment. Suddenly, you're not resisting it. You're not personalizing it. You're not assigning blame to them or to yourself. You're simply naming the part of the story that you're in. And naming the moment shifts you out of reactivity and back to steadiness. It doesn't mean that you love what's happening. It doesn't mean that you wouldn't set boundaries or ask for help. It simply keeps you out of the spiral of this shouldn't be happening, which is the very thing that exhausts so many moms during the holidays. Let me give you some examples from. The real world. When your adult kids are together and they slip into their childhood patterns, you can think, oh, this is the part where they bicker for 10 minutes and then they get over it. When your daughter-in-law doesn't seem to engage the way you hope she would, you can think this is the part where she's still figuring out how to fit into our family. When your married kids have to leave early so they can spend time with the in-laws, you can think this is the part where we learn to share. When you wake up feeling anxious the morning of the big dinner, you can think this is the part where my brain freaks out a little bit before I settle down. It quiets the inner resistance, and when the resistance goes down, peace actually goes up. And so that's why this matters during the holidays. Most holiday stress isn't caused by the people in your house. It's caused by the expectations in your head. This is the part where helps you release the mental wrestling match and move into acceptance. Not resignation, but calm awareness and that calm awareness lets you respond intentionally instead of reacting emotionally. It leaves you with more energy to do the things you actually care about. It helps you be more present and stay connected, right? 'cause if I'm not irritated and feeling resentful or snarky, I can be more connected. It helps me enjoy the moments that I've worked hard for. So if I can allow myself to be like, oh yeah, this is the part where I get a little stressed about the dinner, that's okay. It's okay for that to happen right then. I can actually Be in the moment and stay true to who I want to be. If you ever find yourself thinking, I wish that the holidays were just lighter, or I want to enjoy my family instead of managing everyone's emotions, or I wanna stay calm even when someone else isn't calm, then this tool is the perfect starting point because the holidays. We'll always have moments like that when people have big emotions or there's some unmet expectations. We have to deal with people's quirks and habits and personalities colliding with one another. Instead of fighting those moments, we can gently name them. This is the part where, and then you can step back into more peace. This is the part where my kids slip into their childhood roles. This is the part where my daughter-in-law needs more time to warm up. This is the part where the plans have to shift. This is the part where I feel overwhelmed before I settle in. It doesn't make the moment disappear, but it does remove the fight. And when you drop the fight, your nervous system calms and you can choose how you wanna show up. So let me share a couple of personal stories with this. My daughter Allie, created a bingo card for church last year. I think I might have mentioned it actually on the podcast before. They used the bingo card when people came into town to visit, and they would have predictable things that would happen at church on the Bingo card. Things like Boy number one will bring up BYU football in every conversation, or girl number two will stay a slightly off topic comment in Sunday school. The organist will make a key change during a hymn. So instead of being surprised or irritated, she would just choose to smile. It wasn't poking fun. She was just finding the predictability, charming, and maybe a little bit amusing, but that's better than annoying, right? She would just think, oh, there's the key change, or This is the part where the cougars get their weekly appearance. If you're not a BYU fan, a cougar is their mascot. Making room for the behavior of other people actually takes the emotional charge out of the experience and that can be super powerful. My second example is about me. In my single years I had lots of people at church or family gatherings who would say to me, so are you dating anyone? I. And we would talk about my situation, and they would then later in the conversation say, you seem like such a nice girl. It felt like this happened every single time I went to church or a family gathering, and it used to sting, but eventually I did get better at rolling with it, Although I didn't have this tool in my life yet, I do remember thinking these people love me. They care about me. They wanna connect with me. If I would've had this tool, I could have thought, oh, this is the part where someone asks about my dating life and tries to encourage me in their own way. this thought, oh, this is the part where isn't gonna make me love those conversations. It's not gonna make me agree with their point of view, but it would help me stay grounded instead of frustrated. So how does this apply During the holidays, you'll have your own version of this too. This is the part where my kids act like siblings. Again, this is the part where dinner isn't perfectly on time. this is the part where someone needs some space. This is the part where emotions are running high because everybody's tired. this is the part where I didn't really have solid plans, and so it seems like people are kind of bored. This is the part where I feel overwhelmed and need to take some deep breaths. When you stop fighting what's happening, you can actually respond with better clarity, more compassion for yourself, and then figure out how you wanna move forward. This idea of this is the part where fits perfectly into the second thing I wanna talk about because it's a tip. And the second thing I wanna talk about is 18 short videos that I created with tips in them for you about how to create the holiday season you want. And it's called the holiday bundle 2025. Most of us think the holidays are gonna go well if I just have a good plan. But planning is only one part of the experience. To actually feel good during the holidays. We need to plan. We also need to really figure out our thought work and understand our nervous system and give our nervous system and our feelings, the support that they need. So when these three things are aligned, your experience shifts from, I hope it goes well to I know how to support myself through this. So in the planning section, there will be short videos. They're two to eight minutes long on gift giving traditions, routines, letting go of expectations. And it allows you to create a plan that serves you rather than overwhelms you. And then there's a section on thought work. I teach so much about thought work and in this section you're gonna understand your patterns of thinking and decide whether or not they are patterns you like, ones that you wanna keep, ones that you wanna get rid of. We will talk about gratitude that feels real. We'll talk about being in charge of your emotions and letting go of managing other people's emotions, dealing with unmet expectations, learning to understand when you feel resentment or martyrdom or burnout so you can figure out how you wanna think about those things. And then ideas about how to stay grounded when your kids aren't coming home. 'cause that can be hard. This group of videos will help you get the thoughts the way you want them. And then the last section will be on feeling work and nervous system regulation. This is actually the foundation that I've learned so much about this year. I've been taking a class from Leah Davidson. She's a speech pathologist that has worked with traumatic brain injury for 26 years, and she's taught me a lot about how our feelings Guide the decisions of our life. I've taught a lot about how thought work is so important, and it is when our nervous system is regulated, but when we feel triggered and threatened in some way or ashamed, it's hard for our. Adult brain to get online and direct us in a constructive way because we're in fight or flight or we're in shutdown. And so when those things happen, we have to learn to get ourselves back to that regulated nervous system where we can make. Decisions from an adult brain. So in these videos, I'll talk to you about how your nervous system works and why we react the way that we do, and simple tools to bring you back to calm and how to stay steady when things get messy. And this is where the piece comes from, right? We can. Pretend that we're doing okay. We can put on a good front, but when we learn to regulate our nervous system, we don't have to pretend anymore. And when we learn tools that help us to not resist and allows us to feel, it doesn't mean that we won't ever feel negative emotions. We'll just learn how to manage and deal with them a lot better. So the holiday bundle includes these 18 short videos. They're two to eight minutes long. I may have said this before, but nine of the videos came from my bundle last year. But I loved the concepts and the stories that I shared to help you understand the concepts. So I was like, oh, I wanna keep these. And then I added nine more about the nervous system and more about thought work. So that's what they are. You can listen to 'em anytime, anywhere. There's no. Class that you have to take. There's no time that you have to set aside. It's just clear, practical, and easy to apply. The full bundle is $39 and it's something that you can use year after year. So as you move through these next weeks, try using the phrase, this is the part where I shared that with you today, because it's a little tool and it's a little bit of a sample of what you'd find in the holiday bundle. 'cause each little video is a tip on how to think, how to feel, how to understand your emotions. So I wanted to just share one with you today that isn't in the bundle. the tool, this is the part where will help you release the resistance and settle into the moment with compassion for yourself and for the people that you love. The bundle isn't quite ready yet. It's gonna be ready by Wednesday, and I will for sure give it out to my email list. So if you're interested in the bundle, subscribe to my email list, which is in the show notes, and then you'll get information how to get the bundle by Wednesday. this is the perfect time to get the holiday bundle because Thanksgiving is just around the corner and that gives you time to listen to them and prepare. I had a client last year who said I listened to 'em and then I listened to 'em again because it just helped her reinforce in her mind what she wanted to do and how she wanted to be in the holidays. So I'm excited to help you in this way. Alright, thanks for listening. I'll see you next time.