The following podcast is a member of the ScreamQueenz Podiverse. Hello again, my beautiful screamers. See, I told you I'd be back. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the very first episode of ScreamQueenz Resurrection. This is the show I'm going to be reaching deep, deep, deep into the Scream Queen's vaults to find you episodes that haven't been available to the public for over 10 years. And tonight is a real doozy. We're going back in time, all the way back to October 2010, episode 14, in fact, when I was joined by supermodel Kristen Quinn to talk about the infamous Vortex Haunted House. And just to let you know, for those who weren't around the first time, there ain't no ghoulies and ghosties at.

The Vortex Haunted House.

It's a journey into the deepest, darkest.

Weirdest corners of your psychosexual mind.

But before we do any of that, hey, please allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Patrick Walls. Once upon a time, I hosted Scream Queens. The podcast were Horror against gay, and from 2010 till 2025, I was your guide to the weird and wonderful world of horror.

Mo.

But you had to say very, very gay little eyes, blah, blah, blah, blah. But now we're expanding. We're becoming a podcasting network, a Potter.

Verse, if you will.

Before we start the show, I just want to let you know a few things about how things are going, because I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, patrick, you sound like garbage.

And you know what? You're right.

But there's a reason for that. We hit a bit of a snag. I'm having a problem with my microphone. The microphone that is for most of the run of screen queens all of a sudden just stopped working with my computer.

And it's taken me a while to.

Figure out what's going on.

I.

It turns out one of the components, not the microphone, not the mixer, but it's this thing called a cloud lift. It's a necessary piece to make it sound like an actual professional microphone. It's not working at all, so I had to replace it. It's a bit pricey for me right now because I also just had to buy a brand new PC. And of course, this could not be happening at a worst time. You know, the podcast just ended and I made all these promises to you that, yes, I'll be back in September with this show, and then we're going to be going with Demi Uncle Lewis live in a couple months. And now I can't do anything because I don't have a stupid microphone that works. And I realized that, that rather than stressing about it, I'm just going to do what I used to do. I bought a cheap headset microphone, one of those cheap LG things, like for 40 bucks at best Buy, because for now it's better to have shitty sound than to put nothing out that to just have radio silence at this critical point where I am in danger of losing the listeners that I had. And I don't want to lose you. I want you to stay with me forever. So that's what's going on here. That's why I sound weird. But everything else is going forward. Dammy Wonka Lewis. We're in still in this transitional phase. And one of the other things that we just decided this week, we're going to be releasing some episodes of Damien Wonka Louis, specifically Our Friday the 13th the series spectacular episodes. And we're releasing them publicly right here on this feed to help keep you hanging on until we go public, possibly in December. It's going to be later than I thought it was because of this hold up. But I initially said October. But yes, you're going to get some extra episodes here as well. And those are super fun. If you don't know what a Friday the 13th the series spectacular is, it's kind of like a Friday the 13th spectacular, but for Friday the 13th A series. If you don't know what a Friday the 13th spectacular is, well, you know what? Go back and listen to one. There's, there's 16 years of them still on the, on the, on the Scream.

Quiz podcast site here.

These new Spectacular episodes, they're fun, they're fabulous, and they're quick. So you can just eat them up like candy. And I think you're gonna love them. That's all I wanted you to know. So it's time. Everybody brace yourselves. We're about to travel back in time, all the way back to October 2010. Episode 14 the lights are about to go out. We're about to enter the Vortex Haunted House.

Enjoy the show. Remember a couple weeks ago I talked about the Vortex Haunted House? Remember the one I said that you go through completely alone and it's totally dark? Well, I know you remember because I've been getting calls at the wazoo saying, when are you going? When are you going? Tell us about it. Tell us about it. Well, I went. I went this past Tuesday, and I'm here with my friend Kristen Quinn, who accompanied me. Say hi, Kristen.

Hey, guys.

Kristen is very Cool. She. Not only is she my neighbor and an actress, she is a super famous model.

Of course.

Yes. Yes. So you just got back from China, didn't you?

I did. I spent a lovely two months in China. It was amazing.

Actually. I'm jealous. Jealous. I had my staycation in Sunnyside. And we're also joined by Sebastian the cat, who is determined to knock everything over because we have a pretty girl in the house showing off. Okay. So. So I was very excited when Kristen said. Said that she was going to join me on this. I was planning on going anyway. Oh. Yeah.

I actually. I've never been to, like, I've never been to a haunted house where they were actually, you know, the theater company was putting it on, and I was like, you know, I'd really love to do that. Actually. This is New York City. There's probably a lot of really cool haunted houses to go to. And who would better know than Patrick?

Me.

Yes.

And what you said is accurate. Something I didn't mention before. It is being put on by a theater company. Now, I, too, am used to going to houses that are put on by locals or high schoolers or what have you. And I was kind of intrigued as well, to see what theater people are gonna do.

Yeah, it wouldn't. It wouldn't quite have the same effect.

No, no. Yeah. So we had gone out to see a show at the theater, and she just happened to mention, I want to see all these haunted houses. And I said, well, I just heard about this one. And I told her what I told you guys, you go through by yourself, but it's completely dark. She's like, I'm in.

I'm always up for an adventure.

And, boy, did we get one. Oh, God, we certainly did. Okay, now, I know some of you checked out the website for the Vortex Theater. Now, unlike most haunted houses, this had a huge set of rules before you get. You go in and you had to sign a waiver. One of the rules was nobody under 18 admitted, which we completely understand now.

That's pretty standard sometimes.

Sometimes. But. But for this one, without spoiling anything yet, this really needed an age limit.

But you know what really got me was the last. The last rule was, may encounter sexual and violent acts. And I was like, to me, or am I gonna see it on some image on the screen? And that was really confusing because I was like, I don't really want people molesting me.

Well, and the thing, too, is the. This. This rule that she's talking about in the same sentence, it says, you will be touched and exposed to violence and sexual acts. And she's like, I'm like. I'm like, it can't be that bad. But we'll come back to that.

And we did sign a waiver.

We did sign a waiver.

Remind me of that. But I was. It would be shut down, right?

Yeah, that's what we thought anyway. Yeah, it had a whole bunch of rules. And I'm just going to rattle off a couple of. Now, you had to stay at a marked path because actually, I told you guys that you got nothing but a pen light. Not this year. You got nothing. Absolutely nothing. Of course, you weren't allowed to touch the actors. You never are. But you would also be told at certain points to do certain things, and you had to do them. And they said it was for your own safety. You also were not allowed to speak, which I thought was weird. It said, feel free to scream all you want, but no talking aloud.

We, we had to wear a mask. I don't even know what they're called the doctors wear, you know, when people.

Yeah, thank you.

That's what you said to Brad, because Mr. Brad came with us, too, but he was too chicken to go in the house. He would have died. He would have died. He's a very delicate creature. But Brad was very concerned because it said on, on the website that you're going to have to wear a protective mask. And of course we're all like, what kind of mask are we gonna have to wear? I was thinking it was gonna be goggles because if you're getting touched in the dark, you should protect your eyes. And he's like, well, maybe it's some sort of headphone equipment. And they're going to put in all these sounds and stuff and lasers and stuff, is being all tech nerd. And I'm like, I, I, I. Something tells me for 20 bucks we're not getting a whole technical thing. We come out and, yes. What kind of mask did you have to wear?

And Kristen said, you know, the kind where the doctors have to. Or the people wear when there's SARS or the bird flu.

Yes. That was the long way of saying. And she just goes, oh, you know, SARS masks. And I'm like, yeah, I' okay, sure. I said, bird flu mess. So, you know, actually.

And I was thankful for that because the actors did come up really close to your face and breathe on you. And it was just other things, you know, other things and other things.

Yes. And the alarming thing, which I didn't notice on the Rules when I saw them on the website was that you would have to remove your shoes and socks. That got me nervous. And to be particularly honest, when we started going through the house, they didn't ask us to take off our shoes and socks. So I thought, oh, maybe they're not doing that this year. Maybe they're not doing that tonight. No, no, no. That comes later. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what we were talking about before, what Kristen said. Please be aware you'll encounter fog, Standard strobe, like, standard. Complete darkness. Sure. Crawling on your hands and knees, stairs, loud noises, physical contact, and sexual and violent situations. Kristen was very excited when she found out that there was a safety word, which is.

Should we say it?

Well, it was safety, but I. It was safety, but I wanted to get her to say banana pants. I was convincing her that it was banana pants. Imagine in the situation, she's in their house screaming, and nobody's coming.

But we did scream that on the way to the haunted house.

Yes.

We wanted to hear.

We took video of all this, but it didn't come out, unfortunately, because it was too dark. But as with everything I do, I can't just talk about the event or the movie itself. I have to talk about everything leading up to it. Now, the first thing Kristin and I agreed to do beforehand was have a drink or two, have cocktails, because, to be perfectly honest, I was. I had some butterflies.

I was a little nervous. Yeah. Because I don't really. I'm kind of scared of the dark at times. I grew up with lots of nightmares as a child. And the thought of having to walk alone into a haunted house and not with a group of people or even with a friend of persons. Yeah, that was making me a little bit nervous.

Yeah, me too. And also, I had read on the Facebook, my friend Christopher had gone to see it the. The previous Friday, and he was saying beforehand, he's like, I gotta admit, I'm a little nervous. And I talked to him about it and he sent me a message the next day. He's like, I'm still creeped out. And it's 12 hours later. I'm like, oh, shit, what are we in for? Well, I never expected what we were in for. But anyway, we got cocktails.

We did.

So that was good. And we were so excited to get there. We were so excited to get there that we walked right past the place because, like, where it is is not. It's not a bad neighborhood, but it's not a particularly populated neighborhood. It's very industrial.

Well, you would have no idea that it was there. It was just a door.

Yeah, it was a door. Yeah.

You know, very easy to miss.

Yes. And so we go in this dark lobby and there's some people in there. And surprisingly, there wasn't much of a line. You buy tickets in time blocks and ours was for nine o' clock and it was just guaranteeing that you were going to get in sometime between 9 and 10. But we pretty much got right on the line. We had two guys ahead of us, and Mr. Brad got to hold Kristen's purse.

It's a very important job.

Well, it is a very important. And he did it well.

Yes, he did.

I said, make yourself useful.

Goddamn.

Are you sure? Well, are you sure?

Maybe. I think I had an extra 20 in there.

I was thinking more like your mascara might have. Weird. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying. Or maybe some candy. We do have some usable footage of us signing the waiver, which felt like a death warrant at the time.

Yes.

Kristen just had the pen. She's like, do I really want to do this? It was funny. And so we get on the line and surprisingly, they let. There were two guys in front of us, like I said, and they brought all of us in at the same time.

So it's like, oh, maybe we are walking in a groove. Of course, not being optimistic.

Now, my take on this, the whole point, I'm looking at this lobby and I'm thinking, okay, this ain't nothing. They did nothing to the lobby except that it was dark. And separating the lobby from the house was garbage bags. You know, a wall of garbage bags. I'm like, okay, low tech. So far, not impressed. And so they let us pass the first row of garbage bags. And now we're standing in a hallway of garbage bags, very narrow hallway. And we're told to wait very rudely by a very bossy man. And he lets us stand there for what feels like forever. Now I turn to Kristen at this point and I say, you know what? This is really clever. They're just letting us stand here and stew in total darkness. And Kristen's like, I'm bored.

Show me something scary.

I paid $20 for this. A stand in the dark with three homosexuals. Because the guys in front of us were total queens.

But.

Me and the queens.

Yeah, in the dark.

Yeah, in the dark.

So then finally, the main man comes out and he's like, you3 in breaking up me and Kristen. So I'm like, bye. I was very worried leaving you alone. I'm like, is she gonna be okay? She's a very delicate creature herself, but clearly you were fine.

Oh, I'm fine.

Good for you.

I can kick some zombie ass if I really needed to.

If there were zombies.

If there were zombies.

If there were zombies.

I kind of wish there were.

I kind of wish there were.

Oh, no. That would have been the last thing. Even more gross.

Well, there were zombies at the end, but we'll get to that.

Okay, we'll get to that. So I'm taken into this little, teeny, tiny room. The three of us basically say that we don't have epilepsy. He lines us up like soldiers. He's shining lights directly in our eyes and being all bossy, creepy. And then he physically throws us into this little, teeny, tiny white room. And just heavy strobes going on in there. And he's like, you stand there and you wait and you face this direction, which is pretty much facing directly into the strobes. And we're standing there again, what feels like forever. All of a sudden, the curtain rips open. He grabs one of the other guys by the arm and goes you. And drags him into the other room and leaves the rest of us standing there. I'm like, okay. Okay. Eventually comes from the other guy, and I'm there by myself for again, what seems like eternity. And I'm thinking, this is. This is interesting. I see what you're doing here because we're going to be going through a dark house, and you're shining bright lights in our faces so that we're gonna be even more disoriented. I'm being all clinical so as not to be scared. But then the other part of me is going, you know, this garbage bag thing, which I thought was really cheap, is now starting to feel very effective because I feel like I've wandered into somebody's Kinko basement. And I don't make Kinko the copy place. I mean, like, weird serial killer Dexter crime scene sort of thing. But before he comes for me, the curtain throws open, and who's there? Me. Yeah. Kristen and her group come in, and you're like. I turned to him, like, I've been here for, like, 20 minutes, and one of the other girls was like, oh, my God. Really? I'm like, I'm so glad you're here, because being there by myself was scary. Finally, the man comes for me again. This is the dread part of it too. I've seen how violently he took the other people out of the room, and now I'm just Standing there, waiting for my turn.

Well, that was the worst part, because the strobes were. You couldn't see anything because the strobes were so violent in your eyes. And so I'm sitting here waiting after Patrick leaves, I'm waiting, and I'm like, this is going to be the worst part because I'm just waiting for someone to jump up, jump out, and grab.

Me, because you know what's coming. She saw what happened to me.

So, you know, like, in the midst of all the strobe lights, there was actually, like, an X. Some. I don't know if you saw. There was like, an X on the side. And I actually just focused on that because I was like, I need to look away from where they're going to jump out and get me, or I'm just gonna.

So they weren't around when they were asking if we had epilepsy or not? Because if you did, oh, my God, you would have exploded. But the neat thing that happened, that did not happen when I was first thrown into the room, but it happened after Kristen came in, was they started filling up this teeny, tiny room with fog. Now we're completely blind. You could see nothing with. Between the fog and the strobes. It was really disorienting, really scary. And that's when I got dragged away.

My question, though, is how do. How do the actors see us?

I don't know. I'm thinking of getting in touch with the guy who runs the place and having an interview with him at some point. But that's some of the mysteries. Anyway, so I get dragged off and get thrown into this corridor, and I'm told to just walk and to follow the ropes. There's some strings on the side of the wall. Did you see them? Do you see them? That's the last thing you're gonna see. Start walking. And so I'm following the ropes. And, Kristen, feel free to chime in with what happened with. In. In your experience of it, too. So.

Yeah, well, he said he. He threw open, and he's like, do you see the strings? And then he. And I was like, no. Then he had to do it again. I was like, oh.

Oh, those.

Okay, so.

Okay, so I'm walking down this very long corridor following these. These strings. And what I said was going to happen did happen because I still have the ghost strobes going on behind my eyes, and it's making the dark. Doing weird things to the dark. Like, for me, it felt like the whole corridor was getting smaller and smaller, and I was Literally crouching down. And I thought about it. I stuck my hand up. I'm like, there's nothing up there. So I kept walking along. And again I'm crouching down, he's practically crawling. Stupid. But as I'm walking along the hall, all of a sudden somebody tickles me on the back of the neck. Just one. I'm like, okay, that wasn't bad. Then I don't know what else happened. Like somebody just made a noise in.

My ear and some really grabbing my neck. I was like, oh, look, a neck massage.

Yeah. Yeah. So we're just getting these little hints of that there's people around you and even though it's totally black. And then when I got to the end of the corridor, I got attacked. Like hardcore attacked. They grabbed my wrists and said, don't you move, don't you move. And I got a guy grabbing my wrist, pulling them in front of me and somebody behind me with his hands around my shoulders, pulling me back, like really far. And he did not let me go until I relaxed. It was really creepy. Like it's more. I thought he didn't say anything. And then they were just said, oh, sit down. Apparently there was a chair behind me.

That's interesting. I saw the chair, but I don't think I sat at that point. I can't remember.

I don't remember. I know they flashlight in my eyes again. And there was a lot of that. And then we sat in the chair forever. Like for a really long time. Just sitting in the. The dark in this chair. And it was a boring.

Yeah.

On the other hand, like I became hyper aware of things. Like I'm. I'm sensing people around me, I'm hearing people around me. And then again every now and then somebody would do something. Somebody blew in my ear. That made me scream. I must admit. They flash light in my eyes. They must have been 2 inches in front of me. Scared the hell out of me. And then somebody went up my pants leg. That didn't happen to Kristen because she was wearing tights.

Yeah, I don't remember that.

No. Somebody grabbed my foot. I see the slowly rolling up my pant leg and fingers are going up my legs, gently pulling on my hairs and going down, sticking finger down my sock. And then I guess they had an ice cube or something because all of a sudden there was cold stuff. Now something I want to interject here, which I probably should have said in the first part of this. There ain't no ghosties and ghoulies in this haunted house.

Yeah.

It's like. It was more a psychosexual thing, so that. Just. That there were people in the dark that were going to do things to you, and you had nothing to say because you weren't allowed to say anything. So you had to do what you're told, become the submissive in this weird kind of sadomasochistic relationship with you in this house. So the name is a misnomer.

We. We had to crawl.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. After.

After. This goes on for a while, we're forcibly thrown out of the chair. And I think they were nicer to you because you're pretty, but.

Yes, because they could clearly see that in the dark.

They might.

Who knows? They might have had those night vision goggles or something. Or something. I don't know. Because I got thrown a lot. They beat the crap out of me, so.

Well, they threw me, too, but I didn't sit. They just kind of, like pushed me and they told me to crawl. Yeah. And then there's that weird tunnel that had, like, reds in it, I imagine. Not Wrong.

No, no. Yeah, there were. Yeah, it was. You could see a little bit of this tunnel. And I got to the end of this tunnel, crawling through the tunnel, and I'm half crawling out, and all of a sudden there's somebody around me, like, all hugging up on me from behind. So I'm bent over in a very compromising position. All of a sudden, I got this voice in my ear like, hey, baby, where you go? What's your name? And I'm like, okay, this is fucked up right here.

Yeah, I. When he asked me my name, pretty much the same thing happened. I was like, we're not supposed to talk. But I said, kristen, I. I said.

It too, because I said, we're also supposed to obey rules. You're asking me a name. I'm gonna say my name. I really shouldn't have, because it just got.

Exactly. And then I didn't know whether. Because he was kind of grabbing me and I. I didn't know. Am I supposed to keep crawling away from him or am I supposed to stay?

So, yeah, I froze. I froze because I had hands all over me and just like. Like right in my ear and, like, tickling his. My ear with his nose and stuff. And he eventually started guiding me, but as I'm crawling away, he's crawling with me. So he's still around me and he's like, oh, tell me all the things.

He'S going to do to me.

And he's like, you know what? I think little Fat.

I think you're more turned on, scared.

And I said, a little of both, actually.

A little of both.

I had to be honest. I'm like, this is kind of freaky and hot at the same time.

You thought it was hot?

It was. It was kind of freaky. Had a nice fun voice.

Okay, well, I'll get his number for it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah. And eventually he let me go. And I like, that was the stairs. After that I'm like, call me, but. So we have to walk. They were told to walk down this flight of stairs. Now we have lights.

Yeah, there's finally lights.

First time they're full. Not full lights, but now we can see. And we go down the stairs and there's a woman waiting down there for us, a girl. And we could see her the whole time. She's not going to pop out at you. But she's creepy.

She's dead.

Yeah. She was the closest thing to a ghosty looking thing. But I don't know if she was ghosty or strung out or what the hell she was supposed to be, because she was. I get down there and she's got. She's grabbing me and she's touching me and she's talking to me the whole time. Except all she was. Couldn't hear anything from shit. She's like, she's telling you something really intently and I'm like, I don't know how to react to that. There's a shattered mirror there. And she turns me toward the mirror and she starts fixing my hair, like what's left of it. And she did the weirdest thing.

Then she. I don't know where she got them. They were on the wall. They were on the, on the, the wall. She pulled off these little papers from the wall.

It was masking tape. It was masking.

Masking tape with paper and, trust me, stuck them on my ears like she was dressing a doll.

Yeah, I didn't get that right away. I'm like, she's putting masking tape on my ears. And this is freaking me out because I'm like, I don't understand this. And the fact that I don't understand this, it's freaking me out. But I. I was freaking out way too early because what happened after that is really bad. She turns us away from the mirror and she's looking at you. She's fixing your clothes and doing this and that. And then she steps back and she starts rubbing herself all up and down her legs and starts hiking up her skirt.

And I was like, what am I gonna see here. Like, don't.

I'm like, I'm not happy.

And you know what? None of it was good because she reached in under her skirt and she came out with. With a handful of blood. As it said, we're not allowed to speak. We're allowed to scream. I wasn't screaming. I was going, oh, oh, oh. And then she just starts coming at me really slow and starts putting it on my cheeks, Smearing menstrual blood on my cheeks.

Well, you maybe you were looking a little pale.

I guess I was.

I guess I was.

Now I'm screaming, oh, my God. And then she turned me back towards the mirror and starts fixing my hair again. And now I get it. I'm like, no, I'm. She's making pretty, pretty. Ew.

Her little girl.

I don't know. I think she was making us pretty pretty for our friend at the end.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah. Yes. Then we get sent to another room. There's a girl there. We have to sit in this barber chair type deal. She keeps spinning us around and licking, nuzzling, and.

Oh, yeah, she was like. She was like, licking my shoe and licking my leg.

Yeah. Nibbling my.

Nibbling my neck and my ear. Yeah.

Because what.

What she did was too. Because we're in a barber chair, she's spinning us around. At one point, she just spins us around. She goes, just don't turn around. And she just started doing all kinds of things with her hair and with her face. And again, like, this is this weird combination of creepy and erotic. Like, in another circumstance, this might be very nice. I'm just saying nothing that she was doing was awful.

Right. But she was kind of zombie ish.

And she was.

We just had menstrual blood on her.

We do have men. I was very aware of the menstrual.

Awkward.

Yes. No. Yes. Yes. And a mask. And a SARS mask. So we are looking so pretty right now.

Well, for me, she.

Oh, she did? Yeah.

She took off my. She took off my boots and then my sock very slowly and was very sensual with it. And then, you know, I had tights on. So she, like, was like, oh.

Yeah.

Which I was kind of thankful for.

Oh, yeah. What came next? Yeah, same thing. She took off just one. Just one shoe. And I was thinking of you. I'm like, she's taking off that boot. That's going to take like an hour. Because Kristen's wearing like, thigh highs practically. You know, she's wearing these. These wonderful boots that I envy. She takes up the shoe and basically Throws us out of the chair and goes, walk that way, Go that way.

She chases this next thing, and all I'm thinking is like, they better not lose my shoe.

That's what I said. We don't get the shoe back. She kept the shoe. I'm like, what? Okay, so I'm kind of annoyed because I'm like, if you're gonna take them, take both. Because I'm like, stump, clop, stump, clop, stump. Feel really stupid. And then this next room is just a long hallway. There's nobody in it, but there's a couple of TV monitors set up that are showing us on them as we're walking down this hallway. And I'm walking down the hallway, and the floor is funky. The stuff on the floor, like, it's messed up. There's a lot of garbage on the floor. But I didn't look closely at what it was first, and it was cold and it was slimy, and I looked down, and it's all used condoms.

And I'm so glad I had my tights on.

I thought of that, too. I'm like, she was so happy that she's wearing a goddamn tights because I got a foot full. I got a face full of menstrual blood. I got comb on my foot, and I'm watching myself on the camera going, ah. Which was my noise, apparently, for this house, because I did that a lot more than scrimmage.

I was just silent. That's how I am when I'm very disturbed. I don't. I don't really say anything or make noises. So, you know, I'm really disturbed when I'm just quiet.

Yeah, I. I'm normally quiet, too, but I figured I want to make some noise in here just to see, because normally I go clinical because I used to build these things. So I'm always analyzing, and I figure if I just go along with the screaming, it'll shut my brain up a bit. That makes any sense? So we get to the end of the long hallway, and this is the last room. No. Yeah. And the cat just knocked everything off the table, like cats do when you're podcasting. Well done, Mr. Sebastian.

Now the attention's on you.

It's. Everybody's listening to you now, you fat son of a bitch. Yeah, we got to the last room, and.

No, no, no. You skipped the whole.

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? I'm sorry. I completely forgot. I completely forgot. Yeah, because this was hard. This was where I get really. Yeah, this is where it got really up like the menstrual blood and everything else is not up. All of a sudden we're jumped again and our hands are bound behind our.

Back and we're forced to go on our knees.

On our knees?

Yeah.

So we're led into this blank room after the hall of condoms. Our wrists are bound behind our backs and were told to kneel. And we're left there for a while. And then all of a sudden I got attacked again. And they put a bag over my head, no hostage style. And we were left there for a really long time. It felt like.

So if you're claustrophobic at all, I would not suggest this.

No, no, really. Actually, I thought that before because when, while I was in that room, the white room with that mask on, I started to realize how close the room felt just because of the mask, because you became very aware of your brooding. It felt like you were panting even though you weren't. And that was kind of adding to the paranoia of the whole situation. Flash forward. Now I've got a SARS mask on my face and a black bag over my head. I can see nothing and I can't move because my hands are seriously bound. They weren't fucking around. I tried to get out, I could not get out. And I had to keep telling myself, I'm in the theatrical production right now, nothing's going to happen. Because I was getting a little nervous. And plus my nose itched. As soon as he put the bag on, I'm like, of course. Oh, yeah. And then finally they came. Somebody came for us. Stand up. Dragged us to the other side of the room. And I don't know what they made you do.

That's a blur all of a sudden.

Yeah, they made me first. They made me scream.

I want to hear you scream.

That was loud enough. Was that now bark like a dog.

Oh, yes. He had me bark like a dog.

Yeah, yeah, But I barked like a dog. But then he said something that really disturbed me. He's like, do it again. Bark like a dog for my friend. I'm like, who else is here? How many people are here? This is fucked up right now. So I think this is when they took all the bondage stuff off for the paste resistance or the penis de resistance, if you will. We go into this last room and it's like a junkie den. There's nothing in there except clothes strewn everywhere. Clothes that clearly did not belong to the person who was in there.

And lots of shoes.

Lots of shoes and a bare mattress and a buck naked black man. Yeah, Jabbering crazy buck naked black man.

And he had us stand on this axe in the corner of the room.

You go stand in the corner? You go stand in the corner? Yeah. And while I'm standing in the corner, I know Kristen faced the wall, and.

I was like, you know, subtly turning and looking at the black guy and being like, is he really naked?

Yeah, he was really.

He was really, really naked.

Really, really naked. And from where I'm standing, there was. There was a. The corner had. They had an edge to it, so we couldn't directly see where he was. Couldn't see the mattress directly. But I'm watching the shadows on the wall, and he's attacking something on that mattress like a crazy person. I'm like, wow, what the fuck is going on over there? And I turn to my right a little bit, and there's a mirror. I'm like, oh, my God. That's what he. What he's doing. He's. He's humping something on that mattress to death is what's going on. And finally he comes for me. Come over here.

Get on the bed.

I'm like, okay. And then I look at the bed, and there's a dead naked girl on the bed. Not a dummy, real naked girl lying still on the bed.

She did have nice boobs.

She did have. You know what I was.

Did you think that I.

You know, for me, it was like. That's a blur. Like, I'm in panic mode at this point, and I'm like, do I suppose to get on top of her? Is that what I mean? He's like, who's sitting? Get next to her.

Lay down.

I'm like, oh, my God, this is so grody. This is because it's gross in here, and it's gross and it smells and. And then he's, like, down in my face. He's running his hands all over my body. And the next thing you know, the girl pops up and she climbs right on top of me, and she's grinding Hope now, naked body all over me. And he's on the other ear, grinding on me. So I'm in threesome with these two junky freaks.

Yeah, that. That would be the sexual act that we were.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought we were going to witness it.

Yeah, me too.

I didn't think we were going to be it.

Now you can say that you've had a threesome with zombies.

Yeah. Yeah. I got a T shirt made about that one. Yeah, I think there were zombies just dead. I don't Even think they were dead. They were just freakos anyway. If you want to think it makes you feel better that they're zombies, you say the zombies. But for me, they were very real. I don't know if it happened to you, but they started fighting over me. Did that happen for you? He started yelling hers like, you leave him alone.

He's mine.

She's like, no, he's mine. And there's, like, boobies in my face.

It could have happened. Maybe I'm blocking this out.

You probably are. You probably are.

I do remember.

How can they not fight over you, you gorgeous thing?

You're like.

You were used to that. You're like, yeah, yeah.

This is another day.

It's Tuesday.

What I do remember, though, is after he was finished with whatever he was doing with me, he went over to my boot and wiped himself off on it.

Yes, he did. Oh, God. That's right. That's what he did. I saw him go over there and do something to it, but I did. I guess I blocked that out. That he wiped his dingle off on my shoe.

Yeah.

And then we were dismissed.

Yeah. He. He. He told me to find my boot. And I was like, I'm so glad it's tall and red.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. He says, find your shoe and get the fuck out of here. And I'm looking around, and it's. I have a black sneaker. There's black shoes everywhere, and there's like 25 of them. And I'm like, luckily I found it right away. I'm like, I'm gonna be in here a really long time. I'm trying this on like Cinderella. Well, finally I leave the room, and it's normal lighting, and we go up the stairs, and there's a very nice woman up there, you know, who is one of the people object to me.

And she's like, okay, hi.

Just go in the bathroom here and, like, wash your hands and get that stuff off your face. And I walk in, I'm looking at myself in the mirror with. I'm like, I am the picture of gorgeousness right now. And I put my shoe down, I turn on the faucet, the door flings open, and this guy grabs me. He's like, get the out. And threw me into the lobby where we start. And I mean, threw me. There's kind of a video of me just flying through this curtain and landing on my face. And for me, that was the meanest part. I'm like, I thought it was over. I totally bought into that. And I don't have my shoe. Now Brad and I are waiting for Kristen and she's taking a really long time to come out. Like a really long time to come out. And I'm starting to get nervous.

Well, I. I was in the bathroom, but I. For some reason I just had a feeling it wasn't over. So I didn't really do anything.

Smarter than I am.

And so of course they come out and grab me and then I. I fall to the ground. And then the guy picks me up and he's like, are you okay? He's like, yes. Are you sure? He's like, yes. Then get out of here. And he threw me and I. Then I was back to reality.

Okay. He didn't throw you hard though, because. Because Brad and I were waiting in the lobby for her to come back and she just opens up the curtains. Like, that was creepy. That wasn't scary at all. It was just creepy. We're all like, like everyone else is recovering in the corner and she's like, that's fine. I'm like, they were easy to you on because you're pretty.

Cuz they could clearly once again see that clear.

They can tell. They can sense that you're that gorgeous. You're radiant even in this dark. Yeah. So that was our experience. And it was afterwards we're trying, we're talking about on the camera. We're just like. And like to hear it back, you know, it sounded like we were crazy people.

We were like squawking birds. And then Brad wanted to get a cupcake and I was like, you know what? I deserve a cupcake.

I just got. Yeah.

So after that and I still. We still had blood on our cheeks.

Yes. We still had mentioned blood on her cheeks. Like she couldn't get it off. I still had a little bit when I got home. This is, this is magical.

And I'm just thankful that I had my tights because, you know, the people having sex with us.

Gross.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just glad I didn't go to. Because they do this in the summer as well. I don't know if it's the same setup. They do a Midsummer Haunt, they called it. As I'd be in shorts, like a tank top and that'd be even grosser.

But can you imagine people that dealt with maybe abuse in the past that would do this? Like.

Yeah.

Seems so inappropriate.

Yeah, I, I hadn't thought of it quite in those terms. Like if you didn't really know what you were in for. I mean, we kind of knew we were in for. We were completely wrong.

I'm just wondering. I'm wondering. I mean, at least they have that word for safety, but I wonder how. I wonder how many people. Yes. Banana pants. Clearly. How many people actually use it?

They usually. They have it. They have a Twitter account and they post how many people. And I use it, and it's usually like three or four.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, wow. That's kind of a lot, actually.

Yeah, well, not surprisingly. I mean, it got into some heavy.

What if I was like, hey, mom, do you want to go to this haunted house?

I know if I brought. Yeah.

She'd be like, you were not living in New York City.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I thought I was gonna see vampires.

Me too, mom. Me too.

Yeah, I, I, Yeah. Well, looking at it from that angle, I, I see what they're doing, but I kind of. I, I think it's wise for them not to be mass marketing it. It's not for mass market. It is for theater people, because I can see the value of it as a production. I mean, it delves into some really dark recesses of humanity and your limits and stuff like that. And, you know, you're. You're. It's a play. You're going through a play, and you're the main character. All attention's on you the whole time. And it's. It's weird. I. You go, Chris.

I was just. I mean, it was just a very, very interesting night. Not what I expected.

Not at all.

I'm glad I did it.

Me too.

Got out of my comfort zone.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've got stories forever.

Yes.

Yes. Watch. That glass is gonna knock it over. Oh, Brad, stop knocking things over. There wasn't. I see why they do it year round, though, because there's really nothing Halloweeny about it. But it's something I would recommend to certain people. Not for everybody.

Not for everybody.

I don't know if it's like this every year, because I know somebody who went to it last year said, oh, this was really intense this year. Oh, okay.

So if you like to be shocked, even though we just told all the secrets that there are, but.

Yeah, well, most of these people. Most. There's nobody. I apparently have no listeners in the New York area because I keep giving away free stuff and nobody takes it, so I think it's safe to ruin it. Yeah. And this. They're probably not gonna get this to Halloween after it closes, so. It's fair. It's fair. Anyway, so. Last thoughts? No, me either this house. Thank you for joining me, Kristen. It was awesome having you.

You're welcome. And thank you for having me.

You're welcome.

To the the Haunted House.

And Kristin has a blog all about her life in the exciting fashion world. You want to tell folks about that where they can find it?

Yes. Isn't it funny that I can't remember the exact address? It's like Kristen Quinn@blogspot.com. you can also go through my website, Kristenquin.com as well.

Okay, I'll put all that in the show. Notes for all of you who want to check out the lovely lady who. Who's been talking in your ears for the past half an hour. Okay. Jake, Kristen. Happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween.

Guys, just one more thing. I completely forgot to do this. I should have done this while she was here, but for having the balls to go with me to the Vortex haunted House, for being a good sport about getting some strange man's dick all over you, for still looking hot with menstrual blood smear all over your face, you, Kristen Quinn, are the scream queen of the week. Yay. Congratulations. And you know what? Because you're such a great sport and a great gallon and neighbor, you're still not getting my tiara. Don't even think about it. You know why? Because you look better in it than I do. And besides, you probably already have a tiara. You probably have a whole closet of tiaras and you never let me borrow. So congratulations. Wear your own goddamn tiara. I love you. Now that Kristen's gone, I wanted to tell you how it really is. Okay. Remember how I told you how we had that video that Mr. Brad took, but it didn't come out very well? That's all true. It's very dark. It's kind of spotty. It's hard to see anything, and a lot of it's kind of hard to hear. However, you just sat here and listened to Kristen and I talk very, very intelligently and very rationally about the haunted house for a good half an hour. So I just wanted to include the minute or so of raving babbling that we uttered upon our immediate exit. Enjoy and laugh. And don't tell Kristen.

Okay. There were naked people, and they robbed their naked bodies on me.

They made us get. We signed a waiver.

Bed naked people.

And let them rape us.

I have menstrual blood. I. She had mentioned all the guys.

Sick. Yeah.

And then her boobs are rubbing over my body.

I have vagina on my pants.

Oh, God. Vagina.

Pants.

All right, welcome back to 2025, everyone. You got a little something on your face there. You might want to rub it, you know, never mind. You're fine.

You're fine.

So what a wild night that was. Going to the Vortex Haunted House for the first time, having no idea what we were in for, thinking we're going to see some traditional haunted house. And we got that instead. And I said I would never, ever go to a house like that again. And yet I went every year that it was still operating in New York. Because I'm a kinky.

It's just the way it is.

And yeah, I mean, those. I did episodes on those visits too, and I'm sure I'll get to them eventually, but not right now because I went down a rabbit hole. Because I wanted to remember this crazy history with the Vortex Haunted House. Well, first of all, the following year after Kristen and I went, it became the Blackout Haunted House. That was the official name for it. It stayed in New York for a few more years. I went a few more times, and then it left for Los Angeles. And while it was in Los Angeles.

It started to do.

To expand what it did, it tried to do to take the. The haunt out of the house and into your home, like you would sign up. It offered the ability to sign up for this real life experience. And I did sign up for it. And I got creepy texts at all hours, got creepy phone calls at all hours, but it never really was gelling. And I was wondering if it was a. If it was better nearly, because I remember getting a message saying that he's watching you today. Someone that you'll interact with. Today is one of us and you won't know it and you're going to find out what to do tomorrow. And I never would find out what to do. I got the text a few times, so I'm just wondering if that was working better in la. But after a few years, the Blackout Haunted House people put out a documentary called the Black Hat Experience.

And it's.

I'm sorry, the Black Hat Experiments. It's available on tubing. I'll put the link down there in the show notes. I thought you do get to see some inside of the house business, but it mostly focused on what they did with the stuff taking the haunt outside the house. And apparently it did get pretty crazy in LA and started to get this cult, like, following. And what I. I don't mean like, oh, yeah, we're gonna go see it at midnight. Oh, yeah, it's crazy. No, I mean like a cult, like people became obsessed with it in a non healthy way. It's not a fun documentary, but it's an interesting documentary. But the Blackout people went out of the haunted house business in 2019 and they're expanding other kind of dramatic products, projects, other kind of dramatic projects. What that means I don't know. But I also just found out there's a history of the Blackout haunted house documentary on YouTube separate from this experiment thing. That this is more about the haunted house itself and not this other thing.

That was in the major thing that.

Got a theatrical release. I'm babbling. But anyway, I hope you had a good time. It's nice to be back on the air with you, even if it's with shitty microphone. But next time, hopefully things will be better. And until that next time, my beautiful, beautiful screamers continue to make the world a more fabulously creepy place. And keep up that Scream Queen's golden rule. Fight or flight. Survive the night. Made to the final reel. Stay safe, stay healthy, stay fabulous. And don't ever forget, ScreamQueenznever die. We just get cast in the sequel. All of the music for tonight's show, unless otherwise specified, has been written by Sam Haynes. You can find all of his music@www.bandcamp.com.