00:00:07 Sana: Have you ever noticed how easy it's to perform confidence? Perform while quietly doubting yourself? The second The moment someone disagrees. Like, you know, your life looks great. It looks together, your CV looks good, your mindset sounds together. And yet, one critical comment, one unexpected change. One person with strong opinions. And suddenly your inner world starts negotiating. Doubting. No one wants to admit. A lot of what we call healing can become a very polished way of outsourcing authority to a coach, to a framework, to a routine, to a version of you that must stay regulated at all times to be worthy. Well, today we are naming something underneath all of that the authority crisis. No one is talking about not authority has control listeners, not authority as dominance. Let me clarify that. But authority as the quiet ability to stay with yourself, especially when life bumps you. So welcome,

00:01:28 Sana: everyone, listeners, to this episode of The Aura Room. I am your host, and today I'm joined by Natalie Bouchard, a TEDx speaker on Human Bumps, former world class competitive athlete and founder of Harmonize with Life. Now, Natalie works with high achieving women who have done the healing mindset and the spiritual work, but still still they feel unable unstable in their success. She calls herself a cohesion architect, and her work focuses on resetting inner inner authority, so it's no longer outsourced to identity, nervous system management, or endless self-improvement. So with that, listeners, let's begin. And Natalie, welcome to the room and I'm really glad that you are here.

00:02:21 Natalie Bouchard: Oh, and thank you so much for the invite. I'm really, really happy to be here as well to talk about this important subject that I had no idea I had. Like, I mean, a lot of your listeners or and yourself as well, right? We've done a lot of mindset. We've done a lot of spiritual work. Like I spent seven hundred thousand dollars for the last ten years, worked with the best minds around the world in spirituality and quantum physics and everything. And I thought I knew, you know, but then everything started to crash. And I talk about human bumps, you know, the Ted talk and about and it's like that year the bumps were just one bump after another and after another. And I teach this, that life bumps into us in areas that shows us we're not centered within ourselves. And so I was teaching that for a good like two years about how life, the power of life, nature is already guiding us towards our center. And my God was I being bumped into and realizing, oh my God! Like my whole life I haven't really been centered. It didn't matter how much I knew how much. I have twelve healing designations. It didn't matter how much I knew I was, I didn't even realize, oh my God, I am truly not centered in myself. I don't even know who I am because I grew up in a pretty chaotic childhood, so I completely lost who I was. I became the woman that's like, I'm going to become a top athlete. I'm going to become a top corporate person, you know what I mean? I'm going to prove the world that I'm enough. And so I wasn't even centered in myself. And so life bumped into me a lot. And I kept teaching people. And I was very open and honest that, hey, I'm here walking the path next to you. Life is bumping me to right now, bringing me to center. But I'm going to teach you the same methodology I'm using to bring me back to center, because more and more and more I'm finding myself. Here's the crazy part. Last year I started moving into so deep within my center that for one week I could barely walk. The survival energy moved out of that was holding my spine, started moving out of my body, and my authority started to reseat inside of my psyche. Now I was like, what is going on? I had no idea that this was a thing because of everything I studied. Who's talking about there's a there's an authority. Part of your psyche. No one. Right? Yeah. And so I like I couldn't even find it anywhere. And so what ended up happening is that. So I ended up like, you know, architecting all of it and kind of the same as harmonize with life. People are like, how did you know about harmonized life? I'm like, well, life taught me. And then I architected it. But it's true, right? It's like any architect and architect doesn't invent the laws. It works with the laws, right? So. And I'm an architect of life, I observe life, and then I architect, um, cohesion programs that help people realign to move with life instead of against it. And a lot of spiritual and healing stuff moves against life. I mean, I'm just going to be really honest. It is moving against life. It is moving us further out of center because we're deferring our authority to spiritual programs instead of ceding within our own authority. So when I found out, when I found out about the fact that us women think about it for thousands of years, were we allowed to stand in authority?

00:06:07 Sana: Nope.

00:06:08 Natalie Bouchard: Were we allowed to have authority? Were we? Like me being the little girl that I was, I had moments where I tried to stand in my authority, my own inner orientation. And it was like, who do you think you are, leading your own life? You know what I mean? We're going to. So I ended up exiling my authority. But it's part of our psyche. Every woman thinks that they need containment from men. They need orientation from spirituality and seeking and all those things. Not that there's anything wrong with that, because I still got here. Without it, I wouldn't have gotten here. So I'm not saying that's bad, but at some point we realize, oh my goodness, I am seeking outside of myself for my authority. Like I used to daydream about men and wanting this perfect man, not even realizing that what I really wanted. Because authority, energy is a masculine part of us, as of us women. I wanted that part of me back inside of my psyche and I had no idea. So do you see what I mean?

00:07:11 Sana: Yeah.

00:07:12 Natalie Bouchard: I don't know if all of that resonates at all. If you have any questions about it, because I am sharing a lot here.

00:07:20 Sana: No, I think I think it's good because this is something exactly what I also have, um, have subtle, subtle experiences of this, you know, because, um, I mean, I'm not saying that we are still in those, um, you know, ancient ages or the old ages, but I think somewhere down the line, especially for women, it's still kind of deeply embedded that it's not good to have your own opinion, especially strong opinions. And secondly, I mean, you know, that good girl image, um, loud mouth, not exactly loud mouth in terms of decibel, not not technically loud mouth, but at least have your own world of thoughts or your own opinions. Your own feelings. I mean, I'm not generalizing anything, but something from my experience, what I, you know, feel. And secondly, you know, Natalie. Yes, this is true. Um, because I don't know. I mean, there's nothing I, I shouldn't blame anything or anyone. No. But somewhere down the line, I also used to feel. Feel sometime before that. Yes. Maybe all the solution, the solution to all the problems here is that, you know, I need a man in my life.

00:08:43 Natalie Bouchard: Well, the thing is, is that if we can remember, like. Like I'm. I'm not about fighting the patriarch or fighting the past or anything like that, because then we're bringing the past to the present moment, and we don't want to be doing that as well. And we do live like the world is, is evolving, is changing and is improving. But the thing is, us women, me included, all my ancestors, all exiled, their authority, all of them. So not one woman in my ancestral lineage knew how to reseed it because we we inherited their nervous systems. Think about it. So yes, we live in a different world, but with the old nervous system. So now we're trying to have confidence and then. But we're borrowing confidence. See if I'm on stage and everybody's and they're like, yeah. And they're clapping in that moment. If I feel confident because everybody's clapping, it's borrowed. I'm borrowing that energy. I'm borrowing that power. But then two days later, nobody's clapping for me and then I collapse. Do you see what I mean? So we're all us. Women have learned how to borrow power. We don't know how to stand in our own. When no one claps and you still stand solid. That's when you know your authority is seated. You. You could be posting for weeks and weeks and weeks and nobody even likes it. But you still keep going because you stand in your truth and you're really not bothered by it because you know, okay, Came. But this is still my truth and I'm going to keep going. That is extremely rare. That is extremely rare. And the only reason why is because the authority is not in the psyche. This is the part. If you guys would have met me before, it wouldn't take much for me to, like, set me off. I could, like, literally be so confident. People would be like, wow. On the outside I look very confident because I was achieving so much because people think that's what authority is. It's not. But then when nobody was clapping and people were second guessing me and questioning me, I was collapsing in myself. I was like, okay, well, maybe I need to borrow someone else's orientation, because obviously mine is not good enough because I'm not getting results. You see what I mean? And the reason why I'm sharing the crisis is that you don't build authority. You build outer authority. You don't build inner authority. Inner authority happens. Like the moment that my authority receded in my psyche. Yes, my nervous system shifted from survival to now self-regulating. Because think about it. My whole system, my whole psyche. And that's the mind, the body, the nervous system. All parts of you. Right? Picture. Like why most women are in survival. Their nervous system is in survival anxiety up and down, you know, all those sort of things is because the part of your psyche that stands and and sits and makes all the decisions is not in your body. So now the body's like, well, who's in charge? Who's in charge? The system's like, who's in charge? Well, nobody's in charge. So guess what your system has to do? It's got to bring you into survival because your system's like, well, I got to be in charge. Then. If she's not in charge, then I got to be in charge. So your entire nervous system. And this is why all these women regulating their nervous system and tapping into all the things I'm like, reseat your authority. You will never have to do any of those again. I have not needed to regulate my nervous system. I have not needed to reaffirm my mind. Actually, my mind is working for me. It is actually reaffirming things for me. Everything. My whole system is working in one direction, which I've never had because I was always changing my mind. But I was always like hiring another coach and then borrowing another methodology, a healing methodology, or doing different things. You see what I mean? Well, that shows you that your orientation is not your own. Like anybody that is teaching things that sound like anybody else shows that you're borrowing authority and orientation, it's not your own. And everybody is. And they think it's normal to regurgitate and read books and regurgitate what other people are saying. It isn't normal. It's not. And so that's why I call it a crisis, because, oh my God, if women only knew, like I thought I knew. I thought with everything I studied, I knew I didn't know nothing. I had to. I think that's the first step. And then when my authority came back into my psyche. Now I know for me and the direction and the authority and the and the, um, the, the solidness that I feel. And now I'm building life and it's happening natural. I'm not trying to build life. I'm not trying to create things. I'm getting opportunities left and right. Things are showing up, opening up in ways that I didn't even know was possible. And this is why I want all women to know this, because I have created and built so many things and they've all crashed. And and I got to a point where I was like really hard on myself. And I promised myself when I got on the other side, I was like, I will share this with the world, because women need to know these brilliant women, brilliant women. If they only knew about the authority and receding it in their psyche, everything that they're working on. Healing mindset. Regulation. All of the things gone. You'll never seek again. You will never heal again. They're actually all the distortions start to move away. And you have a filter because everybody has a filter when you're looking at reality. But we all have our unique filter, but at least it's not a distorted filter. It becomes your true filter. And now you know, because you know where you stand in reality. You know where you are because you know where you are. You know where you're going. And because you know where you're going now you're building a life and it's solid. So that's you can feel the passion in that.

00:14:51 Sana: It's kind of, you know, getting like, you know, transmitted because, um, and this is, I think, um, the conversations that we have about mental health healing, um, different channels. And I think this goes beyond that because even even if I'm every day I'm learning about, you know, different tools and channels, um, and ways of healing or nervous system regulation through lived experiences, maybe through researches, through psychology, through science, through logic. It's still sometimes I wonder, oh my goodness, there are so many options available. How how can someone make a choice in there? How easy or how difficult it is? But then one thing that I realized from what you are sharing here, Natalie, is, um, and, you know, this is because sometimes the vulnerability kind of or that savior mentality that, you know, as you mentioned, borrow the power or we give away our power. Power and give away that power or authority to someone else to make those decisions just because we deem ourselves unable or incapable of making or at least having that clarity to understand, okay, where exactly am I in this life and what exactly I need to do? Um, maybe I don't don't know what's going to happen in the future, but then at least do I have that clarity to take that take that next step or not? So that is something that really, really it connects with me, at least personally. I hope the listeners as well. But for me, yeah, that's that, that that is what it is.

00:16:33 Natalie Bouchard: And I want to leave you with something because I obviously I don't want to just share about I want to share how to receipt your psyche, um, your authority in your psyche, because that's really important. Um, and because I think that here's, here's what, what happens in society. There's a, there's a human bump, let's say there you and your husband got into an argument. So that's a bump. Yeah, that's reality happening right in front of you. And what we do as a society is that, like God is expressing itself through that situation reality, God, life, universe, whatever you want to call it is happening right there, right in front of you, expressing and moving the energy through the messenger of your husband. Right? But what we do as a society, instead of being with the what reality is trying to show us, bumping up against us to show us, hey, you're off center. Instead of staying with that, we go and pray. We go and meditate. A God out there when God's trying to speak to us in with the reality that is happening in the moment, and we do this, we have to notice our society does this a lot. You know, like example, like the kids. It's not going well with the children. So that means you're not centered. Life is trying to bump into you to show you what you're holding on to, what distortions you're holding on to that is moving you off center. And when you're not centered, then that's why this is happening. So that you return to center. And we have a society that instead of dealing with that, no, I want to bring my business to the next level. No, I need to do this and I need to do that. And I'm going to I'm going to set a goal, and then I'm going to focus on reaffirming my mind, and I'm going to work on my nervous system so that I can get the goal. But I'm going to ignore what reality is trying to tell me. And we do this if we can see that this is what spiritual bypassing truly means, it means reality is trying to talk to you. God is trying to talk to you. Life is trying to talk to you. Universe is trying to talk to you and saying you are out of center. And when you can see the distortion, which I I'm like really good at helping people see distortions. But once you see the distortion, you let it go. Once you let go of the distortion, you move into center. And then what ends up happening is then there's going to be more stuff, like with my clients. is so funny because there's going to be more distortions because they haven't been centered for how long? Right. And then. But life is showing them. Not Natalie, not another human. It even says in the Bible, don't follow other humans. Don't don't, don't. What is it? Not follow, but not, um, worship other humans. Well, the minute you're worshiping a guru, you're worshiping a human life. The energy force is is showing you where you're off center. So I teach people how to realign with that force, with that energy. Once you return to center, then your authority clicks back into place, and then you feel so solid. There will never be a challenge in life that's going to set you off. Like I love what Christian Murdy said. He said, I have no problems because I don't mind what happens next. Now, he didn't say that because he avoids life. He says that because he's fully participating with life. And when you fully participate with life, you don't have problems anymore because you realize life is always guiding you. Now you know how life guides you. And what I'm teaching here is not the laws of the universe. It's nothing that they teach in spirituality. This is like this is where the Ted talk was all about. I was trying to create awareness that if you want natural success, ease, flow in your life, life bumps is where you need to look at. But we blame. We're like, oh, it's the government's fault, it's the economy's fault. It's it's this guy's fault. They're narcissistic. I'm going to cut them out. It's like, no, trust me, they're all in your life. They're in your life for a reason. They're bumping up against aspects of your distortion that will help you remove it. So you can return to center and then activate your authority receipt, your inner inner authority. Once that happens in your inner space in you will be so solid internally, so solid that nothing throws you off. And if it does, it's like literally a minute or so, you know what I mean? Not very long because you know exactly how to get right back in. And that's what I love teaching. Yeah. So I wanted to kind of share that because it's true. Right. A lot of people do avoid what life is trying to show them.

00:21:41 Sana: Exactly. And that's why you say that, uh, I just want to sleep on my problems and get into my own, um, deluded world. And that la la land.

00:21:53 Natalie Bouchard: And that's why we're doing mindset. That's why we're doing spirituality. That's why we're doing healing. No. The minute that I. If something's happening in the moment and I'm like, ah, I need healing, that's why it's wrong. That's why things are happening the way it is. You abandon yourself, you abandon life. You life. You abandon reality. You are spiritual bypassing. People don't even realize this, but their intention is to to move. They they want to grow. They want to expand. So they have the right intention. They don't realize, though, what they're actually doing. And that's why I want to create awareness, because this is going to keep your authority outside of yourself. And I just I wish this is what I wish I would have known ten years ago.

00:22:37 Sana: And it actually makes sense. I mean, and first of all, the word authority itself, it can be perceived something, you know, um, authoritative or, uh, dominance or something. But I don't think it is what it is. It goes back to your agency and at least having the capability of making decisions yourself, not handing it over to someone else or something else, um.

00:23:09 Natalie Bouchard: But you. But it's hard to make your decisions yourself when your authority is not seated and you're not in center if you're not centered. Think about it. If you're not centered, you're not self contained. If you're not self contained, you have no inner orientation. If you have no inner orientation, you have no inner authority. If you have no inner authority, you don't know where you're going. So of course you're going to need to borrow something. And that's the part where I want people to recognize human bumps realities already bringing you back to center. Once you can hold it, you can self contain. Once you self contain, inner inner orientation comes back and then your authority comes back. And this is really important because once the structure is there you're set for life. Mhm mhm.

00:23:54 Sana: And before we wrap up, uh, Natalie, one question that kind of comes to my mind is, um, I mean there are scenarios, you know, when someone would need Um, and this is where, you know, that distinction kind of makes sense because, uh, I think definitely it's it's more of a nuance I'm approaching. I'm trying to approach this from a nuanced perspective. Um, when someone has, like, genuine, uh, you know, self-limiting beliefs because maybe the reasons could be, um, past traumatic experiences or maybe, you know, the circumstances, the environment in which you have been brought up. Yeah. Where we didn't have we couldn't have any control. So, uh, do you think that, you know, uh, well, here.

00:24:48 Natalie Bouchard: Let me shift the perspective of that. I, I had a third degree mother and father wounds. I was extremely severely abused growing up, and that's why I, I, I have all the healing designations and thought I needed to heal. Here's a shift in perspective, because my childhood was like that. My nervous system had the ability to hold reality in a way that no one else could. My system was so strong that it could hold things. My capacity was so strong because it could hold things. Think about it. I didn't have a childhood that I could afford to go into La la land. I had to stay connected to reality. You see what I mean? And so what was I healing exactly? That is what I want people to realize. Because actually, those of you that have had a challenging childhood like me, I want you to know that your nervous system is more built to hold reality better than anybody else on the planet. Most people are in la la land, and they have a hard time when things get tough and they have a hard time being with it. But the problem is, is because of authority being out like an external thing. Everybody thinks that these individuals that make a lot of money and they have all these different things. Oh, they have authority, but you guys are following the wrong people because those people have a hard time holding reality. And I've been in a lot of masterminds to see it. But if you've had a hard childhood, trust me, your nervous system is able to hold reality. That means you, your system will not fight you, receding your authority as much as someone that had an easy childhood. Imagine that, because think about it. Your nervous system, your system had to build to be able to survive that. Yeah. The intelligence in your body to survive that. Do you realize what you've built? But we are trying to heal. The same society that hurt us is the one that wants to heal us. Really? No. Thank you. That's what I'm. That's where I'm going to end it with. Because honestly. But if you guys can all feel the relief of that.

00:27:02 Sana: Aha.

00:27:03 Natalie Bouchard: When I meet women and men that have had a really tough child like Oprah. Tough childhood. A lot of them have had really tough childhoods. That's why they were able to create what they've been able to create, but they are only able to create what they created because they're one with reality. And that's where I want people to learn. Come back to reality. You have the ability to you have the nervous system for it. You have the capacity for it because your childhood prepared you for it. It's not cool the shit that happened. I'm not excusing that, but they did. There's always good that comes out of everything. And the good that came out of that is that it prepared you, builds you. You have more wisdom and street smarts and understanding than most people do. Please use it. Please use it. Because that's why I'm here right now. And that's why a lot of individuals that can feel me are like, yes, I want to do this now because they can feel it. They already know this is it. Um, but you got to get out of the mindset and spirituality and woo woo because a lot of people that have created that. It's not that it's wrong, but it is disconnected from reality and it's disconnecting people from reality. And a disconnected me and I paid seven hundred thousand dollars for that, you know what I mean? So now I'm like, no, I don't want this to happen to other individuals because I couldn't hold, like think about it. I couldn't fall for the mindset stuff and the, the, the, the illusions and all those things. I couldn't fall for it because I was too connected to reality because of my childhood. So I'm so grateful for it. But I want to create. So I'm glad you brought that question up. I'm glad you followed your instinct, because that's a really powerful and important question for anybody that have had a hard childhood, and they're trying to heal it. Stop, stop. Yeah, you are more powerful, more wise, more everything. But if you don't stop, your wisdom won't surface. Your intelligence won't surface. Your nervous system will be out of whack and your authority will not receipt. So please stop the healing. You don't need healing. So I hope that helps.

00:29:20 Sana: Oh, this is going to be a very, very interesting one. Uh, but but, Natalie, for sure, I think, um, this is what exactly a healthy conversation is. Where? And I'm not talking about myself, but maybe, maybe some of our listeners may not completely agree. For them, it will be an absolutely like a new bump for them.

00:29:40 Natalie Bouchard: Well, it to each their own, right. Like there's different paths for different people for sure.

00:29:47 Sana: Yeah. But, uh, that is what, what a healthy conversation looks like. I mean, one may not agree with, uh, all the opinions and thoughts, but, you know, there's always a room for a constructive conversation on a particular.

00:30:03 Natalie Bouchard: Exactly.

00:30:05 Sana: That's how I believe humanity progresses. Not being on extremes, not taking sides, but to understand the reason, the nuance, the I think. Let's look at it from a rational point of view, not just a rational point of view. So definitely, uh, Natalie, uh, this was really, really a refreshing one. Very, very energetic one on the aura room. So of course, I'm very sure, uh, even if our listeners would be. To you? Yes. How can we connect with you?

00:30:37 Natalie Bouchard: Um, you know, I do have a power quiz that I created, and if anybody's interested, then you'll see if you're borrowing your authority or if it's really seated. And it's a quiz to help you. And if you are borrowing authority, where are you borrowing it? So a lot of people, it's very confronting though. You guys have to be willing to to see the truth. I know I love it, but some people, you know what I mean? Um, to each their own. Like we just mentioned, this is not for everybody. But if you are feeling pulled towards what I'm sharing, um, I can I send you a link to the power quiz and it's just fun. I don't know, I love quizzes and so that way there's a write up and everything else about it. So that way it gets to show you a little bit about where your borrowing power. And then I also included free courses. So that way it guides you to a free course to learn more about where, uh, let's say you're borrowing power in love and relationships. Then there's a course around love and relationships and receding your natural authority. You see what I mean? So I set it up that way. So. So that it can really help a lot of people.

00:31:44 Sana: Of course, of course. And listeners, I'll show that the link and all the details, they are mentioned into the show notes. So find them attached along with this episode on whichever platform you're listening to right now. And, uh, Natalie, thank you so, so much.

00:32:01 Natalie Bouchard: Because thank you, thank you. I love your energy. I love yeah, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak about this because yes, it's not for everyone, but but for some people, this could be everything, you know.

00:32:14 Sana: Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And to all the listeners, if this episode stirred something, um, maybe you agree. You do not agree. Maybe that's a sign that you are close to your own center. And yeah, to regulate your way into certainty, maybe the invitation is softer, that you don't need to feel perfectly ready to stand with yourself, but you just need to stop leaving. So with that, we come to the end of the episode, and if you want more conversations like this grounded, human and honest, follow the show. Share this episode with someone who's tired of performing strength. Until next time, take care of your inner seat. Thank you.

00:33:02 Natalie Bouchard: Awesome. Thank you so much.