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Hello, hello and welcome back to Elevate Daily. We are officially entering the holiday season vibe and gotta be real, if it wasn't a trademarking dynamic, I would definitely be the type to blast some All I Want for Christmas is You, Mariah Carey.

and just be having a dance party with you here on the podcast because that is what I love to do. It feels like a fun ritual I do every year is right after Thanksgiving, get this song on, blast it. And then of course, I love all of the Christmas movies and so many of the fun rituals and traditions that are of this season and time. And I will say the funny piece for me these days though, of course, is now that I am based in the Southern hemisphere, it is still trippy even years later to get used to the reality that

the holiday season is summer season here. So I'm definitely trading a lot of the cozy winter vibes that I'm used to, that I grew up with for the summer beach experience of the holiday season. anyways, that's just a fun, silly thing that just still every year is hilarious to me. It's one of those cute journeys and dynamics of being an expat. And so...

With that, I felt called to share on this episode today about, I just want to acknowledge the challenges that can really come up for so many of us during the holiday season. I find the holiday season is a time that, of course, there's a lot of fullness, busy schedules. It's the end of the year too, so everyone tends to be just naturally more tired and in need of some deep rejuvenation and rest, frankly.

I find that it also is a season that tends to have a lot more heightened emotions. I know for myself, frankly, that the holiday season does bring up grief and emotions because it does remind me of people who have passed on that I loved celebrating the holidays with. So I think for so many of us, it's a time that's also so important to give each other a lot more grace. And I find it's also a time that, of course, has a lot of potential for triggers in terms of family dynamics in particular. So I felt called to share today.

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how I've learned to handle and also understand how to relate to misunderstandings and projections with a lot more grace and ease. And I'm going to share with you some of the specific rituals that I focus on that support me as my energetic hygiene to stay aligned and empowered. Definitely during this season or honestly any very full season of your life or any dynamic where you feel like you could just be extra sensitive to getting triggered.

And so if you've ever felt drained or triggered after spending time with loved ones or your in-laws or, you know, when you randomly run into Susie from high school at the grocery store who you haven't seen in a while, or if you've ever felt misunderstood as you've been elevating and growing into yourself in this season and this era in this chapter of your life, well then this episode is definitely for you. I want to start off by actually sharing with you

What do I even define as projections? For me, I define projections as reflections of other people's inner fears or insecurities, not truths about you. So a lot of what projections are is they occur when someone...

basically attributes their own feelings, their own fears, their own insecurities that often reflect a lot more of their own inner conversation, their own inner struggles, their own inner dynamics, rather than your specific reality, your specific identity. And I want to take a moment here because I found it really helpful when I started learning what projections are because it started helping me to have a bit of an opportunity to one, neutralize them, reframe them, and also not take them so

Personally, but I want to name that something I've seen a lot in the self-development space is that projections can become an excuse to not honor constructive feedback and I think constructive feedback in our lives is so powerful so impactful as we are growth oriented people and so how at least I look at the difference between projections and constructive feedback is to me constructive feedback are more so

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thoughtful insights that someone is gonna share with you that's more so rooted in a desire to support your growth. I find that when someone's giving you constructive feedback, they're focusing on specific behaviors or actions rather than just simply personal judgments. So some of the questions I even ask myself when I'm trying to determine whether something feels more like a projection or a piece of feedback is,

does it feel like this person seemed focused on their feelings or on genuinely helping me to grow and improve? Like I find that from an energetic perspective, I can usually feel and notice the difference. And again, this has been over time and practice and consciously questioning over the years, but I can feel like thoughtful feedback comes from a place of, I feel like it usually feels respectful. There feels like there's an energy of care. And more than anything, I feel like the-

The themselves feels really centered in who they are and they are honoring their own personal responsibility. I feel like it doesn't usually feel like they're blaming or they're pointing a finger at you. Whereas I find like a projection can often feel like there's a bit more of an energetic of feeling emotional about it and a lot more defensive. It's how I can feel I discern between the two. And another question I'll often ask myself is, is this a specific behavior?

or an action that I can change that they're bringing forward? does it feel so the specificity is important? Or does it feel like a vague criticism that's just tied to an identity? like I feel usually when someone is projecting, I find that they're telling me who I am. It feels like they're trying to tell me who I am or how I lived my life experience. That's when I feel like it's definitely a projection versus feedback is more so, know, there's something so beautiful when someone we love is willing to share with us.

something that they see in us that they feel we have an opportunity to grow in or a way we can relate to them better, right? Like if someone's giving me feedback about, you know, a personal relational dynamic, I love it if they share, know, when you message me, know, something I've navigated a lot is of course, I have a lot of really powerful long distance friendships that I nurture. And a lot of that dynamic is I've definitely over the years experienced opportunities where people have shared with me.

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specific behaviors I can do that make them feel seen and supported with the long distance, right? know, cadences to how we communicate, that feedback lets me feel like they're trying to bring us closer. They're trying to connect. There's an energy of they care about something being improved, more intimacy. Whereas the times I've been told lots of projections, which is like some of the examples I've definitely experienced and I've also watched a lot of clients walk through is when someone just says, you you've changed is a really simple but big

one, right? I've definitely had the one where someone just go, you know, I've had close people in my life bring up the one of why don't you just get a real job? That one. I've definitely heard many people get called out that they're being too selfish when they are focusing on their self care when they create a boundary on something that just doesn't align for them. I know for me, I've had a lot of projections related to how I care for my body and my health.

I now find that I just really honor that when they make a projection about me and my choice, I'm getting a mirrored opportunity to understand what stories they tell themselves. And so I just want you to know that if you are having this experience or you're walking through these dynamics, know you're first off not alone, that I actually find it's often a sign of growth, not failure. Want that one to land. I also find that while these experiences are often very uncomfortable,

If you can hold the pose and hold the long-term vision, this offers so much opportunity for deeper authenticity and alignment in your life. And something that I just want to name so potently and so importantly here is I found that the more you embrace your authentic self, the more you will likely experience projection and that it's okay. It's part of you shining your light. And I love to just give that invitation to truly honor being yourself and to honor that not everyone

will like you, but no one can if they don't really know you. I'm definitely someone who spent a long time really worrying about making sure people liked me. And it's still something that I always navigate on the human experience. And yet what I've gotten really aware of is honoring that no matter how much I try to fit into boxes, no matter how much I've tried to dim myself or shape shift to see more, you know,

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quotes likeable in the sense that I make other people feel less uncomfortable around me. I realized no matter how hard I tried to do that, I still was misunderstood. I still wasn't liked by everyone. So to honor that misunderstanding is just part of the journey and to honor that at least you can be misunderstood while being your authentic self because you're going to be misunderstood no matter what. if you're someone who's really on a path of

of influence, of leadership, showing up and being seen by larger groups of people also honor that with that, of course, there's gonna be more projection. So the more you can honor that experience and learn how to reframe it in a way that empowers you rather than limits you or brings you down, I feel like it's so big. And I feel like honestly, family dynamics are the ones that I feel are what I've seen in my own journey and for so many where it can hit the hardest. And so that's why I really wanted to bring this forward is

I feel like there's that classic quote that says, you think you're enlightened, go spend a week or a weekend or something like that with your family. what I've seen is the more I've not taken projections personally, the more I've actually seen that projections aren't necessarily personal attacks, but what if they actually are divine gifts? The more I've tapped into that frequency, the more I...

not only have empowered myself to just honor staying in integrity with myself, but I've also realized that over the years I've given by holding the pose and honoring who I truly am, I've watched that, yes, while I've had to walk through seasons and periods of time where maybe there was even some distance between people I love because we weren't yet in sync with each other and we were just recalibrating to each other, that in the long term, it has created the deepest sense of intimacy and true love in ways that I never had before.

So what I will often connect with now is what if these projections are just opportunities to also see your own growth and strength more clearly? What if through the contrast, you actually just get to be shown an opportunity to have a deeper sense of honoring of who you truly are? So with that, I just wanted to share a few of the specific ways I've reframed projections I've personally navigated, how this has gone down. So.

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I asked my sister if I could actually share our story a bit because to know me is to know I have a very close relationship to my sister. And I want to name that while we've been close since we were little, there was a season that was more difficult for us and a season that in a lot of ways we experienced some distance that was challenging. And a lot of it came from, you know, I went and I shifted a lot in a relatively short period of time. I moved to Bali. I went on this whole health journey.

I then stepped into entrepreneurship. I had been moving. There was just a lot that I had, quote, changed in and had grown in. And I remember a particular holiday, going home and seeing my sister and her. I could feel this distance between us. And I remember, I could just feel that there was a struggle. It wasn't as easeful in how we were connecting with each other. And ultimately, I got to this place where she said, you've changed.

It's so interesting because at the time, of course, it brings up discomfort because when you love someone deeply, especially a close family member, you want that closeness. You don't want to feel any discomfort with each other. And it just can be so natural to want to find a quick way to fix that discomfort and just or brush it over. But we walked through it. I remember distinctly that particular season, we actually, you know, chatted about it. And I remember there was a big moment inside of myself. And this is the key thing I want to name was when she said it to me.

I saw that there was an opportunity inside of myself, whether I take it on personally and then try to shift myself to try to be less of this changed version or just honor that it's okay, that right now we're just in a period where I have changed. I had to just own that, yes, I have changed. I think that's exactly how I said it to her. I just said, yes, I hear you. And yes, I have changed.

certain things I used to do that I don't do anymore. There are certain ways I relate to the world that I just don't relate to the world anymore. And it is hard and I don't want to make you feel that way. Because as we got into the conversation, it got into this opening where what I realized is when someone's typically saying, you've changed, it's a call forward where they're also just saying they desire to connect with you. And so what they're saying is, you've changed from the way I used to know how to relate to you. So it doesn't mean sometimes when you've changed and this dynamic shows up, I realize it actually is a journey that maybe

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you genuinely will just not be in someone's life anymore. But like for deep family connections where there's such a deep bond, I think sometimes the dynamic is you just have to give a lot more grace and understanding that you are recalibrating. You're getting to know each other in this new way and that actually there's a beauty in that. There's not a negative if you're going through that experience. And so now it's so beautiful because she and I actually, had lunch a couple of days ago and we were talking about this.

Now we both sit in so much gratitude that I was willing to just walk through that moment and that season because if you and your family dynamic are someone in particular who is stepping outside of norms, you become a walking permission slip for others to do the same. So here's the dynamic that happens, right? It's natural for people to initially want to project onto you because again, you're questioning their comfort zone.

questioning the limits that they've put upon themselves, you're questioning what they think is possible for themselves. And so in my family, right, like me being the one who moved away and moved abroad, big shift. Me the one going and becoming an entrepreneur, big shift. You know, me on my health journey, meditating, getting super into all of that, big shift. And yet it's so interesting how because I was willing to hold that and stay true to that in myself,

Over time, what I realized is I became a safe place for my sister to get curious about these topics too. By her wanting to, over time, get to know me, to be in my space, it's solely not because I told her she had to be like me, not because there was anything like that. It's just by me holding the pose and who I am and inviting her into spaces with me, into experiences, into just conversations of what I'm genuinely interested in, it started to open her up to also get curious and her own authentic

way. And so now it's so beautiful because now we appreciate how now she's stepped into entrepreneurship. She's moved abroad. Like there's so much in her life that's also changed. And what's so beautiful is we've gotten to be support systems for each other on the journey. Right. I don't I think no matter what she would have elevated and evolved in her beautiful way on her unique journey. But now we got to at least really be these powerful elevators together. But honor that this wasn't always the case.

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We had to honor that there was a season that some of that distance was necessary and it was just part of the journey in order to come back together in a very true, authentic, loving, beautiful way. And I just wanna name that, because I think if you have any family members where this experience is happening, to just honor that if you hold the pose and the vision long-term, you don't necessarily know what you're opening up for yourself and for them in the future.

And so the other one I wanted to name is I also had an experience where I think another big projection example was your job is just a hobby. Get a real job. Feeling like I was being consistently dismissed of my business as simply a hobby and their ideas of what my business is versus what it truly is to me. And I used to feel like I had to over explain myself so much. When this would happen, I felt like, well, I got to explain even more about what my business does and what I'm doing. And I got to do all that.

But what I've come to realize is if I just reframe it as, through this experience, this reflects more of that they just don't understand my work and my idea of my work and my idea of success. And I realized that the gift is it helped to invite me to not look outside of myself for external approval and get really clear about, again, sometimes you're loved.

ones are not always the people who are going to be your greatest people to expect support from, especially in areas of your life that let's just be honest, they don't understand necessarily. And so I think it's okay. And I think some of the struggle is when I was trying so hard to find certain people in my life as the people who had to be my greatest cheerleaders and greatest support systems. And if they didn't get it, I took it as a rejection and dismissal, all these things. was actually

limiting our chances for intimacy. Whereas when I finally just honor that, you know what, it's okay. I'm honoring that this just isn't the space where I'm meant to receive that. Over time, things have shifted where now I don't experience this. Now they have respect for my work and my business. And it's just timing. It's just also, think the other thing I want to name is I also realize especially loved ones when they project things.

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A lot of times it's because they do love you and they care so much about you and you are just stepping outside of something that they know is safe in their own particular experience. And so it's part of their way of also wanting to make you feel safe, but it doesn't necessarily feel that way in the experience. There's a difference I want to just name in the nuance. Like there's definitely going to be.

Projections you're gonna experience in your life in general that are just straight-up signals that something's off and that you just it's not aligned at all and there's some dynamics where it's from people in our lives who we know we're gonna stay close to who are meaningful parts of our family dynamic and so there's a way we're finding to calibrate in a way that it truly allows us both to feel aligned and who we are and so

What I have found has been a helpful way I look at it is I do realize for me anyways, I see projections and these misunderstandings as what I call a divine filter. So what if these misunderstandings help you to clarify who truly actually supports your growth and who isn't meant to walk this part of your journey with you? So some of the examples where this might happen is as you elevate, you might find that friends start to pull away as your priorities shift.

So right as an example, when I went deep into my entrepreneurial journey, there were just friendship dynamics that naturally drifted away because to be honest, was, okay, your girl was having to work really hard. Like I was spending my weekends taking courses, learning digital marketing. There was just so much I had to learn and so I wasn't as free as I used to doing a whole world of other hobbies and other things in my life and you can see who are the friends.

who just for different reasons want to walk that journey with you and others who just naturally drift away, pull away, you know what, it's okay. I'm going to honor that some friends come in for the season and that we had a season together and just right now it's not aligned. There's some family dynamics that the divine filter, the misunderstandings might help you have to see that you need to have better boundaries, frankly. And then I find also in some intimate relationships, you can find that there's either a deepening

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sometimes or a falling away based on the alignment, right? Because sometimes misunderstandings are opportunity to walk through that and to go through a journey of just standing tall in who you are and allowing the person to come to meet you and get to meet you over time. And sometimes it's just straight up that you're realizing you're meeting a value disconnect. And sometimes that means that what used to be isn't the truth anymore. And that's just what it is.

So just a fun reflection to give you before I move into some rituals is where have any judgments or misunderstandings you've experienced helped you clarify what you value, important boundaries, or which relationships are aligned or not aligned in your life? Like just taking a moment, that's quite a loaded question, but just notice like what sticks out to you and feel into that. And I'd really love to invite you, if you have a journal or you're on a walk, maybe take a moment to pause this and really connect with that.

And then I wanted to just as we finish today's episode, I also, as I love to give all the practical rituals, of course, I wanted to share with you some rituals that I have as my foundation, as my energetic hygiene during the holidays in particular, and honestly during any full season in your life. When there's a lot of chaos and a lot of busyness in your life and a lot of heightened emotions, I find that these rituals will keep you anchored in your truth and keep you steady energetically.

I also find it gives you energetic protection. So I'm gonna give you it even with the rituals I share. I find it helps you to not just take in everything. If you ever relate to being an empath, being someone who feels like you take on other people's stress, their judgments, their energies, I find rituals so important for creating that protective boundary around your energy. And then what I of course love.

is they also help to ensure that you take good care of yourself and that you engage with intention and interactions that are deeply impactful for you. And also let's be real, just release any residual energy afterward. So that way you can come back to that space of deep inner peace and clarity. Like I am here for, I think inner peace is one of the biggest signals of success, like truest sovereign success. And I'm here for you feeling that. So first and foremost,

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I find that when you're going into a season like the holiday season or any busy season, that it's extra important to have some daily ritual that supports you with tapping into what I call your elevated self. And so for me, it's really important that you are consciously attuning your energy to walk in the world in that frequency. I think we should do this every day, every day of the year at any time in our lives.

But especially during these busy seasons, I say double down. And so if you actually would like a specific support system here, I put in the show notes, my elevated self visualization that you can do every day. It's what I think less than 12 minutes. And it just supports you in setting yourself up to feel grounded, to feel like a well resourced being, and to feel like you are really centered in who you are and your intention for the day. The second is

When I'm prepping to go to a holiday event or honestly any larger event or any event where I know that emotions may run high, I could feel triggered, there could be more dynamics. I do this thing that I've been doing for a long time called the bubble ritual that I see as a beautiful energetic protection of my energy field. So what I do is I close my eyes and I take a moment to really connect with my heart space. I take some deep breaths in and out.

And then I personally love to visualize that there's this light in my chest, in my heart space. And then I imagine that this energy moves throughout my whole body. So I imagine the light going through my whole body. And you can do this in your unique way. You might notice it goes up to your head first, to your feet first, whatever, but just to imagine that like your whole body is filled with light. Then I imagine that that light expands to about six inches outside.

of my body into this bubble. Like I imagine the light now comes into forming a bubble around me. Whenever I'm out in space in these environments, I see it as anyone around me is sharing themselves. Again, if they have judgments, if they have projections, I just imagine anything that they're experiencing, anything that they're sharing, anything that they're going through, it's as if they're sharing with me, but the energy of them is bouncing off my bubble. So it's still that I'm present. It's still that I'm listening. It's just not penetrating.

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into my body, into my being. And I find just that simple intention of honoring that I am protected. Only the energies of highest service of love and truth can enter my field. It just lets me feel like in any space that I have a sense of care that I've given to myself. And then during the experience, I have this internal ritual that I do. So any moment,

where I'm at a dinner table, I'm in a dynamic where I start feeling triggered. I start feeling the judgments are coming my way. I'll just take a deep breath and I'll just be with myself. Sometimes I touch a part of my body, I hold my heart or I may put my feet on the floor more firmly just to take a moment to feel a bit more grounded and I will just take a moment. That's why the touching of my body is important because as I touch my body, I silently affirm to myself. So I say to myself silently, I don't say this out loud.

I just say, am here, I am here, I am here. So it just helps me come into my body and be centered in my body. And then I always silently say to myself, this is their story, not mine. This is their story, not mine. And it just helps me to still listen and to be present, but not to again take on their emotional reactions. If I'm finding that it's an even more like a quite ...

a full on experience and I just need a moment to reset. One of my reset rituals that I will do during an experience is I'll likely go to the bathroom. So I'm a woman who loves the bathroom for reset energetic dynamics. So I have done this in so many places, so many ways, but I will definitely just take a moment at the right time, just excuse myself, go to the bathroom and I will just.

sit in my stall and take a moment to again, put the bubble back around me, take a moment to just take some deep breath, take a moment to just like, even when I wash my hands, take a moment to just imagine that I'm like clearing away energy. And I do this actually, I want to say that this isn't even if I'm in a triggering experience because I feel misunderstood or dynamics like that. I often also do this just in large group dynamics or larger event spaces where I may feel overstimulated. So I've done this a lot over the years at big

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corporate events that I used to go to, big conferences that I go to for work. Like I will go in the bathroom and just take a moment to just reset my energy and feel like I'm centered. And then the last ritual I wanted to share was after an experience. So kind of the post experience ritual is I personally love to just cleanse my energy through water. It's something I did share a bit about with Annette during her interview on the podcast a couple episodes ago.

But after an event, I love to take a shower. And as I'm showering, because water is just an element I deeply connect with, I often, this one I will actually usually say out loud to myself, I'll say, I release anything that isn't of the highest service of love. I cleanse my energy and I return to my truth. I release anything that isn't of the highest service of love. I cleanse my energy and return to my truth. You you may even be someone who like says, you know, I send it all back to source.

I send it all back to God. You might have that energy. I send it all back to the earth, like whatever is your way. But I just love that intention of honoring my body, honoring my being, and lovingly releasing and centering. And so now that I've shared with you these different rituals, I'm going to just list them one more time. And as I do this, I would love to invite you to choose at least one.

of these rituals that you want to support yourself with and commit to doing this holiday season to keep you feeling intentional and aligned with your elevated self during this time. So the first one I named is my elevated self visualization ritual. And again, you can find that visualization that I've recorded in the show notes. So you can find it there, you can download it for free and it can support you this holiday season. And I would recommend

making this a daily ritual or at least a few times a week. You can listen to it in your car if you just want to have that frequency supporting you, but to really intentionally honor attuning your energy to your elevated self. The second one I spoke about is my bubble ritual to protect your energy field. So really putting up that protective bubble of light around your body and your being with intention. The third I mentioned was that internal ritual for the triggering moments. It's the one where I named, you know,

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while a conversation's happening, while a moment is happening, that you can take a moment to just connect with your body and silently affirm, I am here, this is their story, not mine. Then the next one I shared was the bathroom ritual, the beloved bathroom ritual of just when things are getting heated, when it's just all feeling like you're overstimulated, there's a lot of energy, there's a lot of emotion, you might feel a little out of alignment with yourself, go into the bathroom, taking a moment to just honor.

that opportunity to come back into yourself. And then the last one I shared is my water cleansing ritual. So after an event, after you've left a space, taking a shower or washing your hands with intention and really honoring that opportunity as the water is cleansing you to consciously say, you know, I release anything that isn't of the highest service of love. I cleanse my energy and return to my truth and really see it as a way of energetically releasing anything.

that is not meant to be carried, especially as you're going to be going into, if it's the evening and you're going to go into your dream time, especially important. And then, yeah, I'm feeling complete. I feel like I'm just doing that inventory myself, seeing if there's any last bits I want to share with you. I feel like this episode is so important. I feel like this conversation is so important. This is something I wish I had heard more about. I feel like I'm definitely someone who spent too much of my life over explaining myself.

thinking that there was something wrong with my uniqueness and my weird quirks and not realizing that there was a gift in the ways in which I was challenging norms. And there was a gift in the way that I would be misunderstood at times so that I could ultimately be very understood and loved in the long run. And so I just want you to know on your journey, you're not alone. And that ultimately, if you're experiencing this anyway, to really trust and to invite yourself to reframe and to see the opportunity in these moments.

And then if this episode has been impactful for you, I would be so grateful if you would share with me your biggest takeaway. Send me a DM on Instagram, send me an email, whatever is your favorite way to communicate as I treasure those communications so deeply as we are truly on this journey together. And I'm excited to share that the next episode that'll be coming out in two weeks is going to be a potent one all around.

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Really grieving expectations and letting go to make space for 2025. I feel like if you've had this experience like so many have had this year, including myself, of not moving as fast as you wanted to or ever have stories that you're not as far along as you should be that this is going to be a powerful one. Until then, I hope you elevate your life one intentional ritual at a time.