Welcome to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I'm your host, Blakely Ramsey and the goal of this podcast is to discuss all things personal development, wellness and the art of editing your life in an elevated way.

From mastering morning routines to mastering your.

Mindset, we're going to sift through the.

Noise and empower you to take elevated action.

Make sure you catch the show notes.

For all the details.

Enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to the Elevated Edit podcast.

If you are a visual learner or you just want to see my face, we are officially back on YouTube as of this podcast episode.

So I started out with doing audio and video in the beginning with which was great.

I do have a specific goal for YouTube.

However, there were other things that YouTube is a lot of work and I wanted to be able to give YouTube the the attention that it deserved.

And so I made the decision to pull back and just do audio.

So I've still uploaded to YouTube but it's just a static image of me.

But now I going to start doing video and YouTube.

I had to pull back and simplify and prioritize and focus on specific things that I needed to set up systems for and do some deep work on.

And now my schedule is finally clearing to where I can get back to YouTube.

So eight months later.

But hey, sometimes you've just got to pull back and do some intense focus on specific things.

And so yeah, if you are a visual person, you can go to my YouTube channel.

I will link it in the show notes and you can watch the YouTube version of this.

But today I am so excited to talk about this topic.

I think this is something that especially for women, we are often told is a negative.

I think that the, at least for me, the mental image that was created when it comes to this topic was something that was very egotistical and very conceited.

But today we're going to talk about confidence, self confidence and how it is a skill that not only benefits ourselves, but it also benefits others.

And it is a skill that like a muscle we can work out and we can grow.

Now a disclaimer.

Just like any other muscle that we're working out or growing, there might be some pain before we see some results.

So just keep that in mind.

If you're like Blakely, that sounds like it would get worse before it gets better.

Probably would, but we want to get stronger and we want to holistically look at our lives and then constantly improve.

So today we're going to talk about confidence.

I love talking about this topic.

I have been working on My confident decisions, challenge.

And so I have really been diving deep into this and journaling about it and thinking about it in a different way.

And I am super hyped up about confidence right now.

So like I said, confidence often, often gets a bad rap, especially when it comes to, I think, specifically women.

We are taught that to be confident is to be arrogant or to be selfish.

And there might even be someone that comes to mind when you hear the word confident.

There's someone that comes to mind for me.

And when this individual walks into a room, they are conceited.

They're very egotistical, and they're loud.

They make sure everyone in the room knows who they are and they don't ever let anybody else talk.

And every time I open their mouth, they're trying to sell you something or they're trying to pitch themselves or they're trying to make themselves sound more impressive than they are.

And that had been my mindset around, like, someone being confident for a long time.

And I would have people tell me, like, you just seem so confident.

And I was like, I would, like, shy away from it because in my mind, it was a negative thing to feel confident.

But here, recently, I've been working with my coaches and in a group call, this wasn't even a one on one, even though I feel like she looked straight at the camera and, like, was like, pointing at me and was like, blakely, you need to hear this.

One of my coaches, she talked about how feeling confident can be a gift.

And feeling confident can allow us to show up for others without distraction and without self doubt.

It can allow us to be fully present in conversations and in meetings and even just any interaction in any relationship that we have.

Feeling confident can allow us to take the attention off of ourselves and place it onto other people.

And so a little example of this is for me personally, I have realized that when I show up and my hair's done and my nails are done and I have a little bit of makeup on and I've got some lipstick on, and I'm in an outfit that makes me feel really good about myself, maybe an outfit that's in my color palette.

Shout out Kaylee Lambert with Kaylee Lambert styling.

She's a color analyst, and she is phenomenal.

But when I show up and I feel really good about myself, I'm not sitting there going, oh, I hope they're not, you know, wondering why I don't have makeup on.

They're not thinking like, oh, man, did Blakely brush her hair today?

And then I'm like, man, did I, like, put deodorant on?

Is my outfit wrinkly?

Like, when I don't show up as the confident version of myself, those are the thoughts that are running through my head.

And instead of being fully engaged in a conversation and fully listening to the person that I am talking to and really being present for them and just being present in the moment in general, I am going through, like, a mental loop.

And quite honestly, I'm being selfish because I'm thinking about myself.

I'm thinking like, somebody will be talking to me and I'm like, oh, my gosh, are they looking at my eyebrows?

Like, yeah, I haven't gotten them done in a while.

I wonder if they're.

And the truth is it's probably not true.

But I want to be able to show up and you probably do as well.

I want to be able to show up as someone who I feel so confident in myself that I am fully present with who I'm talking to and I'm fully focused on them and I'm not thinking about myself at all.

And that is where I am trying to shift my brain to think about confidence as, like, someone who's quiet and steady and grounded and is fully engaged in conversations and is fully present and is fully, constantly looking to provide value or look for opportunities or be open to new conversations or new adventures or whatever it is.

And there is actually science behind this.

Y'all know I've been doing the research and I love to really back things up.

There are studies that have shown that consistently show that confident individuals experience lower stress.

Of course, if you feel good about yourself, you're not going to be as stressed out.

Lower anxiety, obvious.

If you feel good about yourself, you're not going to be as anxious.

You're not going to be constantly thinking, what do they think about me?

What are they saying?

And that people who consistently show confidence, they perform better in high pressure situations.

And this, when you think about that, it's like, well, yeah, of course they, they perform better because they're able to be present.

They're confident in themselves, not just the way that they look, but in their mental state and their preparedness.

Because to me, confidence is way more than just the way that I look or the way that I, you know, my hair is or my makeup.

There's like a holistic version of me who is confident.

And Stanford University research highlights that confidence directly improves decision making, clarity and performance.

So this is all, it's all intertwined, which I think is so fantastic.

And I'm Actually about to tell you a story that one of my coaches talked about.

And when she told this story, it seems so small and so insignificant, but when you hear it, you're like, wow, how many times did I do that?

Exact same same thing.

So she said that she had a neighbor who had been going through a rough time, you know, struggling through some things.

And she said that she told herself, the next time I see that person out, next time I see her out in the yard, I'm gonna go over and I'm gonna give her a hug and I'm gonna tell her I've been thinking about her and I'm gonna ask, you know, what can I do for you?

Like, is there anything I can do to help you?

Can I cook?

Can I clean?

Like, what can I do?

Do you just need a shoulder to cry on?

And so she said the opportunity presented itself.

She said she was going to check her mail, and this neighbor came walking out and she.

And her first thought was, man, this is my opportunity.

I'm gonna go over there and I'm going to ask her how she's doing, and I'm just gonna check and see if there's anything that I can do for her.

But she said that she hadn't showered, just had a baby, hadn't showered in a couple days.

Her hair was a mess, her clothes were a couple days old.

And she said that she went.

She had no confidence in herself in that moment.

And so she scrambled to get her mail and she scrambled to get back in the house as fast as she possibly could.

And she said that that was the last time that she will ever allow herself to be in that situation.

And that really, like, kind of blew my mind when I heard that.

Once again, it's something that sounds so simple, but I'm like, how many times have I seen someone in Walmart that I haven't seen in a really long time?

And I actually, genuinely, genuinely would like to go talk to them or go give them a hug.

Well, if you know me, probably not going to give them a hug, but I will go talk to them, maybe give them a friendly handshake from afar, but I haven't done it because I'm in like my Walmart mode.

I've got my.

My cap on, I'm hiding from people.

You know, I might have like an old rubbity sweatshirt on Versus when I'm walking through Walmart and I feel good about myself.

I don't have to have full face of makeup on, full heels, but like, even just like a.

A Matching sweatsuit and little lipstick and my hair's brushed.

I'm much more likely to be like, hey, I haven't seen you in so long.

How are you doing?

Like, how are the kids?

How is your new adventure?

How are the pets?

Like, I am much more open to going up and interacting with people.

And then when I'm in a conversation with people, I'm also much more likely to be fully engaged.

I'm not sitting there thinking about what are they thinking about me?

I'm just thinking about the other person.

And so when she said that, it really did, like, I like journaled on that and I sat on that for a couple of days because it was so powerful to me.

Like, wow.

I don't always fully show up not just for myself, but for other people based on how I feel about myself.

And I just thought that that was so great.

And that's why I wanted to pass that along to you, because I want you to just kind of put that in the back of your mind too.

Like when you're thinking about confidence, like, it does not have to be something that's selfish.

We can think about how we're showing up for other people as well.

It can be friends, clients, spouses, children, bosses, whoever it is, like, when we feel good about ourselves, we are going to show up as the best version of ourselves.

So of course you all know I love action steps.

I love practical ways that we can actually implement this into our everyday life.

Practical, simple strategies that we can use.

So tip number one, be prepared.

Being prepared is going to look a lot different for a lot of different people in a lot of different situations.

For me, I have had to overcome a new fear recently of showing up as the host of a group zoom call.

I didn't realize that was a fear that I had before.

I have shown up as like a speaker in in person events before and it doesn't stress me.

There's still a little anxiety, but, but I, I know how to prepare for that.

Like, I'm confident in preparing for an in person situation, but I have realized that by taking action, of course I've uncovered a flaw or something, you know, that I just need to pay attention to and work on.

But I've discovered that when I am, when I'm one on one, let's zoom.

It's not as big of a deal, but when I am one on one or when I'm in a group zoom call, especially if I'm the host and I'm like, I'm supposed to be present, I know My material.

Like, I, I practice the material, but it is practicing with the zoom and with the multiple.

And then I've got a moderator and I'm trying to look at comments and should I look at comments because they distract me and, you know, I'm, I'm like, do I look in the camera?

Do I look at the people like it?

There's a lot of different aspects that I didn't realize were going to throw me off.

And so I have had to practice, I've had to prepare myself, I've had to role play.

Literally.

I'll set up my computer and pretend like I'm on a zoom call with multiple people and I'll just get the reps in and practice and I'll, you know, practice there being a moderator, practice not looking at the, at the comments and practice.

Okay, how can I, like, hide the comments for now and then open the chat and look at it?

Like, there's just so many different iterations.

But what, like there might be a situation that you're in where it kind of gives you anxiety.

Check and see if, check in with yourself and see if you're maybe not as prepared as you should be.

Have you practiced enough?

Have you put in enough reps?

Like, what is it that is slowing you down?

Because I noticed the first couple times I did this on that zoom call, I did not have confidence and I, I was, I was giving the information because I knew it like the back of my hand because the information I had down, but actually showing up, I was not prepared.

I was so self conscious and I was like, oh, my gosh, they're judging me.

Like, they're like, she's not prepared.

She doesn't know what she's doing.

And so instead of really packing a punch and like getting a really good message across and really connecting with everyone, I was very stiff and very.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, you know, and it just didn't come off the way that I wanted it to.

And so whatever it is, if you need to dress up a little bit, if you need to run a couple reps, if you need to, you know, talk to yourself, like, I will literally talk to like a wall.

Like, if there's some.

A conversation I need to have or a speech I need to give, I'll just talk to the wall.

It's okay.

You don't have to tell anyone that you're crazy.

Okay?

I mean, I'm telling you, but you don't have to tell anyone.

Just do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

Like, get the reps in and be prepared.

Number two, so important, care for your mental health.

Your mental and emotional health directly influences your confidence.

So practices like journaling, meditation, and therapy can definitely help build that emotional confidence.

For me, therapy helps, of course, but journaling.

I just got off of a call with a client, and she had never journaled a day in her.

Her whole life, ever.

And I showed her my journal.

I was going to show YouTube really quick, but I don't see it close to me.

I journal day and night, sometimes in the middle of the day.

Like, if I have a mental block or something that's really bothering me, I'll journal through it.

And usually I can, like, unwind it and it disappears.

But whatever you need to do to care for your mental health, do that, because it's really going to impact your confidence.

And once again, your confidence is going to allow you to show up as your best self for other people.

And then, number three, create quiet moments.

Our.

Our world is loud and it's getting louder.

So create intentional space to process your thoughts and gain clarity and boost your confidence and find the answers that are probably already inside of you.

I have started.

I don't know how long I'm going to keep this up, but I've really been enjoying it lately.

The last hour of my day, I have no noise.

I send Will to his game room.

I turn the TV off.

I don't listen to a podcast.

I don't listen to an audiobook I might, like, read, but other than that, the house is silence.

I'll have, like, my fan going, and that's about it.

And I have noticed that I'm coming up with better ideas.

I am making decisions faster.

I am solving problems faster.

And like, it's almost like everything from the day finally gets a chance to get caught up in the quiet.

And I am just, like, journaling, journaling, journaling ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas.

And then I'll have to keep a list because if not, I'll go straight to chat GPT and then I'll be up all night.

But I'm like, okay, a list of things that I'm like, want to brainstorm and want to work through, through, and want to, like, create ideas for tomorrow.

So just give yourself that quiet time.

It can be.

It doesn't have to be a full hour.

I assigned my coaching client that I just got off the phone with 10 minutes a day.

Once you drop the kids off, get ready, and then sit outside with a piece of paper, blank piece of paper, and just see what comes up.

You might.

You might have no breakthroughs, or you might have, like, your very best idea in that 10 minutes and then thoughtful appearance.

This does not have to be.

You don't have to think, okay, I've got to dress up every day and curl my hair and put on full makeup and wear heels.

It is not that.

Whatever makes you feel good about yourself, like, present yourself like that to the world.

For me, I.

I do love full makeup.

I love to go full makeup every day.

It's.

I've always loved makeup.

I like putting it on.

I like the way that I feel in it.

But whatever works for you.

I don't necessarily love wearing heels all the time.

Like, sometimes I feel my most confident with my makeup and my hair done and then, like, a cute matching, like, workout outfit and some really cute sneakers.

So it doesn't have to be like this dramatic red carpet look.

Just like, whatever makes you feel confident.

And if you work from home.

I resisted this thought for the longest.

But dressing up every day, if you work from home, at least getting out of your pajamas, putting a little lipstick on, brushing your hair, putting on something matching it is mind blowing.

Like here.

Lately, I've been getting fully dressed to work from home, and it's been a complete game changer for me.

It's been really great.

And then number five, practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness helps you stay present, reduces anxiety, and it boosts your confidence.

So whatever mindfulness practice you need to practice, it might be a combination of a couple that I mentioned, or you might have another practice that you want to implement.

Working out really helps.

Just whatever allows you to be fully present and fully authentic in your interactions and the way that you show up in the world.

Because confidence really is like, I just hope that if you had, like, a negative thought process towards confidence before this episode, I hope this kind of helped you reframe your thoughts.

Because all of the research and just little bits and pieces that I've gotten from people here lately have really been, to me at least, been very affirming to the point that confidence is not a negative thing.

And confidence, being confident is not something that you should feel guilty about or something that you should look at in a negative way.

Like I said, I used to think it was like, you're loud, you're flashy, you're egotistical.

You want everybody to know.

And that, to me, at least in my new mindset and with my new thought, is no longer what I think.

I now think, okay, if I am confident, Blakely, and I show up prepared and I feel good about myself, that gives me the opportunity to not think about myself.

It gives me the opportunity to be fully present in conversations, to be fully present with the person that I'm talking to or the people that I'm talking to.

And it really is like, it's shifted my thoughts about confidence and it's made it something that, like, I'm, like, I want to be more confident.

Like, I actually want to feel better about myself.

So I hope that this is.

I hope you feel the same way after this episode.

And I just want to remind you that it is not just beneficial for you, it positively impacts everyone around you and it will inspire other people to feel more confident as well, which is really, really cool.

So I would love to hear how you're growing your confidence.

Connect with me on Instagram at the Blakely Ramsey and let me know your thoughts on this episode and let me know your things that you've been working on when it comes to confidence.

And then don't forget about my upcoming challenge, the Confident Decisions challenge.

I am pouring my heart and soul into this challenge.

It's going to be so good.

It's going to pack a punch.

I think you're really going to love it.

And with that, that's all I've got for you today.

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day and I will see you in the next episode.

Thank you for tuning in to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I hope you found today's episode inspiring and full of actionable tips.

Don't forget to check out the show notes for all the resources and links mentioned.

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Until next time, keep growing, glowing and elevating your life.

See you soon.