Hey mama.

Welcome to Pregnancy unpacked.

I'm Trish, a labor nurse of 16 years, mom of seven, and your birth vesting.

I'm gonna be walking you through not just.

Baby bumps and fruit sizes, but the entire identity shift that pregnancy will be for you.

Each episode drops every Wednesday, and we're gonna unpack what's happening in your body, what to expect, what to do, what's normal, even when it feels extremely weird, and how to actually feel supported emotionally and physically.

You're gonna hear from me where I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, but I'm gonna be cheering you on along the way.

You can follow along each Wednesday because pregnancy deserves more than outdated advice.

And Google anxiety.

Good morning, sweet Mamas.

I am so excited.

We did it.

We got through pregnancy, but it's not just quite over.

Now, listen, you just pushed your baby out and you're thinking, I did it and you did.

And there are many more decisions to make, and it's the start of this experience that you're gonna remember for the rest of your life.

And this is why we guard it.

Those first few minutes after your baby arrives, they're sacred, they're messy, and they decide how this whole story lands in your heart.

I am Trish, or you may know me as Labor nurse Mama.

I was a 16 year high risk labor and delivery nurse who traveled all over the country.

I'm a mama of seven and I've been in.

Thousands of delivery rooms.

And I'm gonna give you straight no fluff truth.

That's what you're gonna get from me always.

I was just on a hangout with some VIPs from our Fearless birth experience, and they said one of the things they appreciate about me is that I don't push them in any direction.

I'm not biased.

I just give you exactly what you need to know.

So today we're gonna talk about what happens in those first few minutes, why it happens, what to ask for, what to say, and the.

Powerful partner move.

That actually changes everything.

Remember nothing out of convenience or curiosity except your own.

And you can refuse anything.

But should you, let's make sure you choose based on knowledge.

So right now, let's take a nice deep breath.

Your body just did the main event, give it credit.

You are the center of the birth room.

Your baby was made for your body, and that matters.

Everyone else in the room, the partner, nurse, midwife, doctor, incidental staff, neonatal staff, they all have jobs.

And when the team knows their job, the room flows.

When they don't, chaos shows up and steals this memory, and that's the first thing we want to avoid.

Now, here is something that just gives me chill bumps.

No matter how many births I've attended, no matter how many births I've had on my own.

Your baby has spent nine months, 40 weeks, 40 plus weeks underwater.

They have not used their lungs.

Their lungs have never inflated.

In fact, the way that the system is made, it actually bypasses what would normally go to the lungs through the heart, and it bypasses that their lungs, you know, they have never inflated with air.

They've been practiced breathing by swallowing amniotic fluid, and in one holy moly, instant when they're born, everything changes.

We clamp and cut the cord.

The chest expands, fluid shifts out, and air rushes in.

This is why in the beginning you may see a lot of little choking to get all that fluid out, but that first cry isn't just a noise in the room.

It's just this solid proof that life has flipped over from fluid to oxygen, from womb to world, from practice to purpose.

And I have a full blog post on the Golden Hour that you should definitely read and why, to protect your skin to skin.

But here's the thing I want you to remember.

You are the anchor of this baby's acclimating to this world.

Every one of your babies', five senses, locks onto you to figure out.

How do I do this thing?

Right?

So let's talk about the sense of smell to start.

Your baby knows your scent.

The scent of the amniotic fluid and the womb juice, if you wanna call it, is what calms their heart rate and guides them to your breast.

The sense of touch, your skin, your hand, your warmth stabilizes their body temperature better than any manufactured warmer ever could.

Are not able to stabilize their body temperature the way that we can.

And that's a whole nother thing.

And you guys can read the blog post, but you actually stabilize their temperature, stabilize their blood sugar.

Better than any other machine out there now for this sense of hearing your voice, your partner's voice, your heartbeat are so familiar to them and that allows them to quiet the chaos of this noisy birth room.

One of the first things I do with my patients after baby comes out is I dim the lights and I get everyone that does not need to be there.

The room, their sense of sight.

Their brand new eyes can only see clearly about eight to 10 inches away, the exact distance to your face when they're on your chest.

Hello.

Hello.

How powerful is that?

Their sense of taste, that first little lick, that first latch that delivers them chorum, which you don't have to do in the first two hours.

Do not feel pressure unless they're giving you signs.

You don't have to stress about it, but that chorum, that liquid gold was designed from them.

Now that is milk.

It's just the early milk, right?

A lot of people think that chorum and milk are two different things, but it's actually not.

So this is why skin to Skin isn't just about holding your baby.

It's about this, this symphony, this entire sensory symphony that helps your baby survive and thrive in those first few minutes of life.

And you are literally the center of their transition.

So guard it.

So I want you to pause right now.

I want you to close your eyes I want you to put your hand on your chest and just feel the pressure of that.

And picture that your baby is placed on your chest.

Their wet skin is against yours.

They're making little noises, little cries, shaky, little first breaths.

Their eyes blink open and they find you.

They smell you.

They hear you.

They settle into you.

That moment is their bridge from the womb to the world, and you are the bridge.

You are the main bridge.

So right after your baby is born, the focus is brutally simple.

Baby breathing.

Baby warm baby.

Safe mom cared for.

If everything's stable, you get the best possible thing, skin to skin.

And this isn't Pinterest fluff.

This is biology.

Skin to skin, calms breathing, stabilizes their temperature, stabilizes their blood sugar, lowers their stress hormones, and invites that first latch.

You need to guard your skin to skin moment.

And skin to skin doesn't mean baby was just born.

A nurse puts a blanket on you and they lay the baby on the blanket.

That is not skin to skin.

So if anybody, I tell my students, if anybody lays a blanket on you, snatch it up, throw it on the floor.

'cause they won't use it once it's on the floor, remember to speak it loudly, not just in your birth plan.

Say, I want immediate skin to skin.

I want it as long as possible.

Say it admission.

Say it again.

During pushing, you know, speaking it.

Is so powerful.

I want it in your birth plan, but your words are what will move them, right, because you're speaking it to them.

The next thing we wanna kind of talk about is the cord.

So I know a lot of people claim to do delayed cord clamping.

That's just part of the policy.

But unless you are timing them.

It's hard to really know, so I just recommend you say until the cord stops pulsing, which can be anywhere from 30 to 90 seconds, giving the baby all that extra blood, the blood volume, and the iron, it matters.

So if you want to protect your delayed cord clamping, just speak up and say, Hey.

We want delayed cord clamping until the cord stops pulsating.

That means it turns white, so it's very visible to everyone that they actually did it.

It's really easy to fluff it if they just wait 30 seconds.

Now, the default will always be whatever that provider usually does.

Remember that hospitals have policies, but you have rights.

So sometimes they might take the baby away immediately to do weights and do assessments and all of this, but you need to let them know that's not okay that the baby's weight can wait.

And you know, sometimes we need to take the baby if there's something going on and it can feel terrifying.

But most of the time it's routine.

So.

Always tell them you don't want any routine procedures done during those first two hours.

And if baby needs a little more help breathing, we may have neonatal staff at bedside, and they may be able to do a lot of stimulation on top of you, but if they have to take the baby to the warmer, your partner can walk with them.

If they have to take the baby to the nicu, your partner should be able to go with them.

And I know it feels scary and it feels like.

Very dramatic, but most babies respond to intervention really fast.

So if your baby is taken and you can read the room and you know this is not just a routine procedure, ask them, is my baby okay?

What's your next steps?

And keep me informed.

So remember having clear questions, force clear answers.

We're also gonna be, uh, I know I'm speeding through this pretty quickly, but I, I wanna keep this nice and short and compact for you guys.

We're also gonna be checking a baby's app car.

We do it at one minute, five minute, and then if needed at 10 minute.

It's a quick little snapshot of the heart rate, the breathing, the muscle tone, the reflexes, and the colors, and we rate.

Them, and we give you a blank out of 10.

And most babies get an eight, nine out of 10.

And sometimes that first one might be a little bit, lower.

I, that just means the baby might need a little more support.

So don't fixate on the numbers.

Always ask your nurse, what does that mean?

What does the Apgar mean for us right now?

And let them walk you through that.

Okay, so right after delivery, one of the things that we have notoriously done from the beginning of my career is vigorously dry and warm the baby, maybe put a hat on.

And like I said, measuring and weighing.

But if you and baby are stable, baby should stay on you for the first two hours.

And I tell my students to tell them, I do not want my baby vigorously dried.

I wanna leave the vernix on the baby.

Just put the baby skin to skin and put a blanket over us both.

Remember, it's all optional.

You are the boss of your birth.

So don't let someone else ruin it just by what they normally do at work.

Does that make sense?

Hopefully.

Okay.

So once Mom delivers the placenta, then we are going to be doing some different things.

Now that whole, this is all the third stage of labor and I have a great podcast about it.

I think I also have a YouTube video where I explain all the choices you have during the third stage of labor.

So we're not gonna go over that right now, but.

If you know your placenta comes out and you need a repair, if you tear, if you did not have an epidural, always ask them to numb you a local numbing.

This is important because some providers do not do that, so make sure you talk about that to your doctor.

If you're going unmedicated, if you still have your epidural, you will not feel the repair.

So once the doctor checks you for, for the need of a repair, they then will repair you if you need.

If not, they're also gonna be checking your bleeding, which is called the fundal massage.

We start those right after doctor is done.

The doctor usually does the first one and the nurse will start one.

We do every 15 minutes for the first hour and every 30 for the second hour.

And I know it's uncomfortable, but I have some information on that as well.

It doesn't have to be the end of the world.

Continue with your pain coping techniques and your breathing techniques.

Always ask questions though, that is like.

So, so important.

Okay.

For my partners, listen up.

Here is a thing that you need to know.

You are the anchor.

When her room starts spinning, anchor her.

Say her name.

Look her in the eyes.

Put your hand on her.

Hand on baby, and stay calmly like you did it.

Take a nice deep breath.

Use a calm voice, be the anchor that settles her hormones.

It helps mom to feel seen and human and known in those moments right after the baby is born.

Because a lot of attention goes from her being the center of attention to baby.

And it's just really important as her partner that you remember that she's there and she needs to be seen.

So those things are just, you know, so important.

Okay, so let's say baby does need the warmer or a NICU evaluation.

Make sure again, that you as the partner ask to go with them just.

Stay with the baby, ask for updates, and ask for someone who's gonna communicate with you guys.

Hospitals can be chaotic, especially in a emergency, so having someone to relay information helps keep you grounded.

Remember, the NICU is there when we need it, and so they are so skilled and they usually will let you go with the baby.

The more present you are, the more you will feel it in your nervous system so that you know exactly what's going on and you can relay that back to mom.

If baby is taken to the NICU and you go with the baby, it might be a time to to call someone else to come be with Mom 'cause she's gonna be there alone.

During this, first few days of baby's life, you do have to make some decisions, usually in the first hours or 24 hours about baby medications.

There's three standard ones that we give.

One is the first of the Hepatitis B series.

Two is the vitamin K shot, and three is the erythromycin.

Eye ointment.

So you get to decide if you want them all or you want one or you want none or what have you.

So the eye ointment is given to prevent any infection in the eyes.

I have a whole long spiel that I do on this, but they basically started doing this in the early 19 hundreds because a lot of women were coming in with syphilis and gonorrhea.

So if you don't have an s. DD, you don't have an active vaginal infection.

You could probably skip this, but again, that's your choice.

Vitamin K shot.

The babies do not have the same clotting factors that we have until about day nine, and so we do the vitamin K just in case they have any kind of trauma that might have internal bleeding or bleeding in some sense.

So again, this is your choice.

The Hepatitis B, depending on what you're doing with vaccinations, you can do it here in the hospital or you can do the first one at the first doctor's visit, or not do it at all.

So it's only totally up to you.

I do not push you guys any which way when it comes to this.

Remember that having knowledge and having a plan ahead of time helps you from feeling out of control.

Now if you're having a C-section, skin to skin can still happen sometimes in the or, sometimes in recovery or both, but I would ask your team plan for it, tell 'em you want it, and tell them that this is a non-negotiable for you.

Okay, mama.

So protect this space.

You want a sacred golden hour or golden hours?

I really like you to have two, not a blur filled with strangers.

Create your bubble.

Ask the staff to dim the lights if possible.

Ask for a quiet room.

Ask visitors to wait.

Your nurse can be your guard dog and just.

Remember that no one can come into this bubble that you don't want them to, and most teams will honor a clear request.

When you're calm, you're specific.

You don't have to apologize, be assertive like you have a right now.

If something goes wrong, keep the language simple.

Ask them what is happening.

Explain to me what's going on, is baby, okay?

What are our next steps?

And that is usually your core nurse, unless she's.

You know, helping resuscitate the baby or something like that.

There should always be someone in the room that can help answer your questions and cut through the chaos.

You are always allowed to ask.

You are supposed to be informed.

You should get the full picture before any choices made.

This is really, really important.

Okay, let's squash a few myths or a few fears that I know a lot of new moms have.

If your baby looks blue, it doesn't always mean something catastrophic is going on.

Their color changes fast, and that is pretty common and most babies pink up.

Pretty quickly.

So if they do have to take the baby because the baby is not pinking up, which means they're not getting enough oxygen, it's not always an emergency.

It's usually, sometimes we just need to see what's going on with baby.

Again, ask questions, ask to be informed.

Remember two simple, powerful truths.

One, if you don't speak up, if you don't tell them your plans, if you don't make decisions, the hospital defaults to their protocols, so make sure they know what you want and what decisions you are making.

Two, always ask questions.

Always speak up.

Always ask for explanations.

Your voice is so freaking powerful.

Now, after a baby comes out, you're also gonna feel a flood of hormones, oxytocin, adrenaline, all of it.

You might cry, you might laugh, and you may feel numb and shocked.

That's totally normal.

Just accept it.

It's okay.

If you want privacy, ask your nurse to guard your room.

If you want help with a latch, ask if you want.

More medication.

We will give you medications during that recovery.

It's not wrong.

If you need it, you get to decide what it is you want.

And if I could give you one last thing as a labor nurse, it's this, protect these first few hours.

I want you to make a decision right now that you're gonna guard them, that you're gonna be confident enough to speak up.

And I want you to remember, you are the anchor of these moments.

If you don't speak up, you're going to regret it.

I promise that.

Be firm, be kind, but be relentless because you are the boss of your birth.

So own it.

You've got this mama.

You always have the right to say no, but remember, should you be educated.

This is why you need to take my birth classes, ask and then choose your baby.

Is your baby.

Your body made this baby, and this baby deserves your voice to speak up for them in those first few hours and the rest of their life to be true.

Okay, mama.

I hope that you enjoyed this episode.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

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Hit the subscribe button, leave a review and go binge watch the rest of pregnancy unpacked.

Okay, you guys, I love you.

I will see you again next week.

Bye for now.