Speaker:

That is truly success. That is winning when

Speaker:

we say we're we're passing we we we say, live

Speaker:

intentionally, maximize relationships, and pass the

Speaker:

torch. Right? Most of us live haphazardly, not

Speaker:

intentionally. Most of us marginalize relationships or manage

Speaker:

relationships, we don't maximize them. What's it look like to show up every day to

Speaker:

maximize? And what's it look like not to drop the torch, but to pass

Speaker:

the torch to the next generation? That's winning.

Speaker:

That's success.

Speaker:

What does it take to be resilient and transform potential

Speaker:

into purposeful action? Join us as we explore this question

Speaker:

and others with Dan Britten and Jimmy Page, leaders who channel

Speaker:

their faith and expertise into empowering others.

Speaker:

Dan, a former professional athlete and seasoned leader with the Fellowship of

Speaker:

Christian Athletes, has influenced countless lives across the

Speaker:

globe. Jimmy, a wellness expert and founder of the

Speaker:

Unstoppable Freedom Alliance, is dedicated to unlocking

Speaker:

human potential. Together, they've offered the just released

Speaker:

Daily Wisdom for Men, offering powerful insights to help

Speaker:

men live with resilience and

Speaker:

purpose. Dan and Jimmy, welcome to SeatGo Create.

Speaker:

It's good to be here. Oh, glad to be here, buddy. Let's go.

Speaker:

Yeah. Let's go. We're gonna have some fun here. My first question,

Speaker:

Dan, I'm gonna jump to you on this. Both of you get to answer

Speaker:

it. You get to choose. Would you rather answer the

Speaker:

question who you are or what you

Speaker:

do? Pick it and go ahead and answer it.

Speaker:

I think I would choose the who or what.

Speaker:

So Alright. I would Go ahead and answer it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So

Speaker:

quickly, I would say that I am first a

Speaker:

lover of Jesus, saved by grace. That's who I

Speaker:

am for my entire most of my life, age 8, except to

Speaker:

Christ with my mom, then sold out for Jesus

Speaker:

most of my life and called into ministry. So

Speaker:

who I am, I'm I'm a minister, a sports minister, a

Speaker:

sports coach, a leadership coach, an international

Speaker:

trainer. My husband, I'm a father of

Speaker:

3 married kids. I'm a grandfather of 2 amazing grandchildren. That's

Speaker:

who I am. And I'm an athlete that loves,

Speaker:

running. I run every day. I'm addicted to running. Run marathons, Boston

Speaker:

Marathon. Love fishing, disc golf.

Speaker:

And I'm also the who I am. I'm the Ukraine

Speaker:

national lacrosse coach for a war torn

Speaker:

country, but, here I am as the, lacrosse coach of the

Speaker:

national teams. That's who I am. Excellent. Thank

Speaker:

you. Alright, Jimmy. We're gonna lob it over to you here. What you

Speaker:

do or who are you? Which question do you choose and go ahead and answer

Speaker:

it? Yeah. Great question. It's all about who. Right? Who before you

Speaker:

do? And, so I would say, you know, I'm a man of god. I'm

Speaker:

I'm a a husband of 32 years to my college

Speaker:

sweetheart, Ivelisse. We've had a great marriage, and we've had a

Speaker:

a lot of ups and downs and challenges along the way that have refined us.

Speaker:

We've got 4 adult kids. We've been empty nesters for a while, which is

Speaker:

a little weird, and our daughter is home now for her last semester of

Speaker:

college. She's doing it remote. She'll be graduating from Liberty University,

Speaker:

but so all of a sudden, we've got more life in the home, so we're

Speaker:

all excited about that. You know, I've been in

Speaker:

leadership, culture, and human performance for

Speaker:

a long, long time. So I'm somebody that, you know, really is

Speaker:

committed to inspiring you and others to

Speaker:

live the unstoppable life, unleashing supernatural

Speaker:

purpose, passion, and power. So

Speaker:

that's kinda what I do as well. But, first and foremost, a man

Speaker:

of god trying to live a life of fruitfulness and faithfulness.

Speaker:

So the cool thing is I was doing a little bit of background research,

Speaker:

etcetera. I was going, alright. This is gonna be a fun conversation, but

Speaker:

there's a lot of stuff out there where y'all have gone over your backgrounds and

Speaker:

stuff like that. We may provide links for people

Speaker:

to kinda go check that out. I don't think we're gonna dive into that here.

Speaker:

You guys, a while back, wrote a book called One

Speaker:

Word, basically is coming up with a word for the year that kinda

Speaker:

drives you in so many ways. As I was doing this

Speaker:

this morning, I was spending some quiet time actually reading

Speaker:

today's, item from your book that we're gonna talk about a

Speaker:

little bit later. The word resilience came to mind, and I said, you

Speaker:

know what? I think resilience is our

Speaker:

theme or our word for this episode. I know y'all guys do

Speaker:

podcasts and all too, but, Jimmy, when I bring up that having a

Speaker:

one word or theme for this episode, what does that

Speaker:

stir inside you? What what goes through your mind? Well, I love it. I mean,

Speaker:

it's kind of consistent with the whole concept of that focus

Speaker:

drives impact. Focus drives performance. You know?

Speaker:

It's when we're distracted by many things that we become ineffective. So

Speaker:

even just the idea that we've got a theme for the show, that's I love

Speaker:

that, man. Let's go. So now we've got rails. That's gonna make us

Speaker:

super effective, I think. But, you know, the word word resilience

Speaker:

is really a game changer for most people. It's it's something actually

Speaker:

that is in big need in our culture right now.

Speaker:

We've got we've got a lack of grit, a lack of resilience. And

Speaker:

resilience is this idea that you can bounce back

Speaker:

from really hard things, that you can go through hard things, that you can go

Speaker:

through challenges and obstacles and all that, but you're able to bounce

Speaker:

back. And I think of resilience as one step, kind

Speaker:

of above grit. Grit's good. Grit gets you through it. But resilience

Speaker:

is this idea that you can be better after you go through

Speaker:

it. That it's not just surviving. It's a matter of

Speaker:

thriving. And when you come out the other side, you've learned some things. You've

Speaker:

maybe expanded your capacity in some way, and you're a different

Speaker:

person than when you entered into that challenge. Right. Yeah.

Speaker:

That's good. Dan, why don't you do, for my sake in the audience,

Speaker:

why don't you give a a little bit of a I don't know if it's

Speaker:

a plug background or whatever on that one word book that you

Speaker:

guys wrote a while back. I think you wrote it with John Gordon. Right?

Speaker:

And and so just give a little bit on that because it's kind

Speaker:

of a little bit of kinda helps with the foundation for

Speaker:

this one word concept. Yeah. One

Speaker:

one word was supposed to be our very first book Jimmy and I wrote. Right,

Speaker:

Jimmy? Like, back way back 15 plus years ago.

Speaker:

And we had a publisher we pitched it to. He was all excited about it.

Speaker:

But then we shared this concept about wisdom walks, discipleship, mentoring,

Speaker:

having 4 key relationships. Believe it or not, the publisher is like,

Speaker:

no. We can do one word later. We wanna produce Wisdom Walks. So,

Speaker:

actually, it's crazy that kind of this one word theme that we

Speaker:

really that's vision that we really wanted to communicate that we thought was

Speaker:

so catalytic was our gonna be our first book, but Wisdom

Speaker:

Walks became our first book. Anyways, there's a string of things. We just saw

Speaker:

that God was using, this concept of one word.

Speaker:

1999, we kinda launched into the year 2000,

Speaker:

you know, y two k world was gonna melt, and everyone's gonna try

Speaker:

to figure out if we're gonna survive. And really, that was the 1st year that

Speaker:

I had a one word. You know, again, I had a 7 page Word document

Speaker:

with a lot of roles and goals and everything else. And like a dog returning

Speaker:

to his vomit. Right? Like, Tim, I I would do 90

Speaker:

10%, 90% will wait would be at the waist, but I would

Speaker:

go right back to it. And so not very successful with all

Speaker:

that. And so kind of this creating a one word for the year

Speaker:

2000. And even I that year was a year of intimacy. And so

Speaker:

I kinda scrapped the resolutions, put away the 7 page Word

Speaker:

document, and just laser focused in on

Speaker:

this word of intimacy. And man, intimacy was everywhere. It was right here, every

Speaker:

sermon, every song, every book. It was like my radar was up.

Speaker:

And that was a chapter in this my story of the year

Speaker:

2000. And, you know, I shared it with Jimmy, and then we shared it with

Speaker:

John, and then it was just catalytic. It was like everyone was like,

Speaker:

this is incredible. And that's when we actually said, hey, we gotta get a book

Speaker:

together. And the concept is literally look in,

Speaker:

look up, and look out. You know, look in, look up, look out. Look in,

Speaker:

prepare the heart. Unplug as we get ready for a new year. See

Speaker:

what God wants to do. Henry Nown says, a word of power is

Speaker:

birthed out of silence. Step away, seek silence and solitude,

Speaker:

and be able to prepare that. And then look up, say, hey, God, I want

Speaker:

not just a good word, but a God word, and receive that word, and

Speaker:

and be able to not really pick the word, but the word finds you.

Speaker:

And whatever that word is, whether it's a attribute, a characteristic, a fruit of the

Speaker:

spirit. But it's really about who you wanna be, not what you wanna do. You

Speaker:

started out with that, the who or the do, but it was not setting to

Speaker:

be goals. To be goals, not to do goals. And so, you know, who

Speaker:

do you wanna become the character? And then look in, look up, and look out

Speaker:

is really moving forward and actually applying your word,

Speaker:

implying it to every aspect, every area of your life. And that's the fun

Speaker:

part. Right, Jimmy? That's when we get a chance to put it front and center.

Speaker:

And so really that's really what is it. So here we are 250,000

Speaker:

books later, over a 1000000 people downloaded the YouVersion reading plan.

Speaker:

People from all over the world translated in in over 50

Speaker:

languages, the reading plan. And we're just, like, seeing God

Speaker:

just breathe on this in a very unique way

Speaker:

for the last really now, Jimmy, what, 25 years as we're

Speaker:

going into the year of 2025. The thing that I love

Speaker:

about that, Dan, and I'll I'm a let both of y'all chime in on this,

Speaker:

is that I think we're in a very complex world.

Speaker:

I work with leaders and leadership teams. I know to varying degrees, all three

Speaker:

of us work with leaders. And what I see

Speaker:

is the complexity, the chaos is just piling

Speaker:

on. It's one of the reasons why we're gonna come back and talk resiliency because

Speaker:

I think we don't know what's gonna be coming up. We need to be

Speaker:

resilient, and it's sort of a preparation for us. But I used to

Speaker:

do what you just talked about, Dan. I used to especially during the nineties, I

Speaker:

would have, like, this 21 page beginning of the year

Speaker:

document that was all of my goals, and it was, you know,

Speaker:

3 pages in each of 7 areas.

Speaker:

And, truthfully, I look back on it and I go, good gracious. I

Speaker:

love the this is the word that came to my mind when you were talking,

Speaker:

Dan, the simplicity of one word. I I

Speaker:

liked it so much that I went and bought the book as a gift

Speaker:

for my grown children. And because they're

Speaker:

I noticed complexity coming in their lives. You know, they're starting families or they're young

Speaker:

adults, and there's just so much coming at them. Let's briefly and

Speaker:

this is with this big theme of resilience. Let's talk

Speaker:

about the need for simplicity. One more thing on that. I

Speaker:

think I heard John you guys talk about writing this

Speaker:

book and that John brought a lot of

Speaker:

value because he kept simplifying the

Speaker:

message and the process. So just Mhmm. I guess the the big

Speaker:

word here is simplicity with the bigger word of resilience.

Speaker:

Jimmy, what do you wanna chime in, add, throw on

Speaker:

on the on the heap there related to the need for simplicity

Speaker:

in the world we're in today? Yeah. It's interesting. I had an opportunity this

Speaker:

morning to talk with business leaders down in Denver, and, the theme

Speaker:

of my talk was all around next level, you know, leveling up your

Speaker:

life. And they were all ready for some complicated, you

Speaker:

know, formula to make that happen, and I what I gave them was ultra

Speaker:

simple. Everyone to a man and to a woman afterward came up and said, thank

Speaker:

you for simplifying this down, not making this too complex.

Speaker:

And I think when John and and Dan and I wrote this book, Dan and

Speaker:

I would send him just pages and pages of each chapter,

Speaker:

sometimes 15, 20, 25 pages of content, and it would come back

Speaker:

as a page and a half or 2 pages. And it it was disastrous in

Speaker:

the end. The genius of John Gordon is taking complex things

Speaker:

and making them simple. I think he's rubbed off on Dan and I over many

Speaker:

years, this idea of not overcomplicating a simple

Speaker:

process. So even the 3 step process of

Speaker:

looking in, looking up, and looking out, that

Speaker:

started as a 7 step process. Now it's 3.

Speaker:

It's so simple. A caveman can do it. And, you know, when you

Speaker:

overlay this theme, this single word theme for the year,

Speaker:

you experience life change. Absolute life change

Speaker:

because you're not confused anymore about the 40 goals or the

Speaker:

22 pages that you have, you know, of all the things you're gonna get

Speaker:

done. This is really about transformation from the inside out, which

Speaker:

is simplifying. My first word back in 1999 for the

Speaker:

year 2000 was simplify, and I got rid of a lot of

Speaker:

complexity that year, and that stayed with me as part of my DNA. And I

Speaker:

think that you have to remove clutter,

Speaker:

distractions, and all of that in order to be resilient.

Speaker:

If you're overwhelmed, you're not in a state of resiliency.

Speaker:

You're in a state of overwhelm. So it all kind of works

Speaker:

together in a simple way. Yeah. I think it's almost

Speaker:

fragile. I mean, we've got so many plates, so much going on.

Speaker:

When I've got so much in my head, I like to think I've got some

Speaker:

capacity. I mean, I've got documents pulled up here

Speaker:

with about 5 books I'm working on, and I'm sitting here thinking to

Speaker:

myself, I really need to peel away 4 of them and then work

Speaker:

on using less words, especially in the age of AI and things like that where

Speaker:

we can just pile on the words

Speaker:

simplicity. Dan, what do you wanna say about simplicity? Yeah. One of

Speaker:

my life principles, Tim, that I've discovered from my own life, and I've

Speaker:

seen people around me is we we drift to

Speaker:

complexity, but we drive to simplicity. Right? I'll I'll put

Speaker:

that on my tombstone. I don't think you know, there's some people, I will admit,

Speaker:

I've been around some leaders and organizations, they drive to complexity. Most of

Speaker:

us, we wake up and go, what the heck? Who put more rocks in my

Speaker:

backpack? Like, more responsibility, more expectations,

Speaker:

our wife, our kids, our job, our

Speaker:

ministry, whatever it is, our church. And also we wake up and

Speaker:

we're like, what happened? I thought life was supposed to get easier, and I

Speaker:

feel more overwhelmed, more cluttered, more complicated,

Speaker:

more complex than I did last year. Well, that's

Speaker:

because we just drifted to complexity. Like

Speaker:

we say, any old dead fish can go with the flow, but it's a live

Speaker:

fish with a little wiggle upstream. So, you know, the live

Speaker:

fish with a little wiggle that that has driving

Speaker:

towards simplicity. And as you said, Tim, so well,

Speaker:

that the great leaders you spent time with I've had a chance to travel to

Speaker:

over 60 countries in the last 10 years. And when I'm with them, I don't

Speaker:

walk away going, oh my gosh. Boom. My my brain is blown

Speaker:

up of all the the the formulas of leadership and

Speaker:

all the details they talked about. I walk away from

Speaker:

the most impressive leaders like, oh, my gosh. They put the cookies on the bottom

Speaker:

shelf. This was so basic. They made

Speaker:

leadership simple. And I believe with all my

Speaker:

heart that we drift to

Speaker:

complexity. We have to drive to simplicity.

Speaker:

I also think I mean, this is where let's go ahead and move into a

Speaker:

faith conversation. I think that there's an enemy out there

Speaker:

that's pulling us to complexity to get us

Speaker:

all focused of faith. You know, I

Speaker:

guess continuing a little bit with this theme of resiliency and and and even

Speaker:

simplicity, I know both of you guys, when you talk about

Speaker:

who you are, faith is comes up first and foremost.

Speaker:

How does faith how does the component of faith play

Speaker:

into that, Jimmy? Well, we talk a lot about the

Speaker:

difference between positivity and power. Right?

Speaker:

And a lot of us will you know, there is a beauty of a positive

Speaker:

mindset, a positive affirmations, but what we've

Speaker:

discovered is real power comes through the word of God. It it

Speaker:

comes from this connection, this faith connection to the one who created you.

Speaker:

So, you know, God talks about abide in me. Jesus says abide in

Speaker:

me, and the whole idea is stay connected to Jesus, stay

Speaker:

grounded, because if you don't, you can't

Speaker:

produce a life of any meaning. You know? In fact, the

Speaker:

scripture says you can do nothing apart from me. Now that doesn't

Speaker:

mean we can't accomplish things and be successful in the world's eyes,

Speaker:

but we won't accomplish anything of eternal value, of

Speaker:

significance, of legacy stuff where you're passing on your

Speaker:

deepest held values and beliefs to your family, to your children, to

Speaker:

others around you. So for us, the the faith component is the

Speaker:

source of power. It's the source of simplicity.

Speaker:

It's the idea that I'm denying my flesh, and I'm engaged with the

Speaker:

holy spirit in such a way that I'm walking in power. I'm walking

Speaker:

with an awareness of what other people need, ways that I can bless them,

Speaker:

and it really does simplify things. Right? It it helps you cut out a lot

Speaker:

of stuff that really isn't that important and fill your life with the

Speaker:

things that are most meaningful. Dan, is it possible that we

Speaker:

can overcomplicate even that faith component in

Speaker:

our lives? Or it I mean, I see it

Speaker:

so much stuff in the realm of faith

Speaker:

and just like we talk about with leadership and just like we talk about

Speaker:

with any of these. And at times, I'm wondering, I love where you

Speaker:

just say we're we're to abide in and with Jesus

Speaker:

Christ, period. So,

Speaker:

Dan, what are your thoughts on that? Are are are many of us overcomplicating our

Speaker:

faith journey? Yeah. Let's just go back 2000 years

Speaker:

ago. The religious leaders were way over

Speaker:

complicating. And what did Jesus get criticized for? He

Speaker:

got criticized for stripping all the religiosity and

Speaker:

all the rituals away. He got cast down. He got

Speaker:

pushed out of the church. He got pushed out of the temple. So, yeah, I

Speaker:

mean, here we are for 2000 years. And so in today's age,

Speaker:

with all the information we have at our fingertips with our phone and

Speaker:

everything else, we have just heaped on

Speaker:

every little, hey, 3 steps here and this and that and

Speaker:

books. And, I mean, we we literally have spiritual constipation

Speaker:

if we would just wanna boil it down. If you wanna talk about overcomplicating,

Speaker:

we are all kind like, if we would just take even what

Speaker:

we have read and what we have up to this point, like a saucer. Just

Speaker:

cut it off and go back and go, I am not gonna learn one

Speaker:

new thing until I try to apply everything I've I've already

Speaker:

read. I just believe we're just constantly looking for the grass is

Speaker:

greener on the other side. We want that little nugget, that little tidbit,

Speaker:

that cool little saying. We're just seeking and searching, scratch and

Speaker:

sniff, trying to get after all these little things. And

Speaker:

Jesus is just like, rest in me. You know, get in

Speaker:

the yoke every day. Like, my yoke is easy. It's

Speaker:

not complicated. It's not complex.

Speaker:

It's easy. That was his definition of what it means

Speaker:

to journey with Jesus. It's it's easy. My

Speaker:

yoke is easy. My burden is light. I I want that

Speaker:

yoke. Come on. That's good. Right when

Speaker:

you jumped on Dan, I gave you a little tour of our

Speaker:

400 square foot RV motor coach that we live in. My wife and I for

Speaker:

6 years have been pretty much nomads. We've got very little space,

Speaker:

which means we have very little stuff. I can't begin to

Speaker:

describe how liberating it is

Speaker:

to have such little stuff and because that's what complicate we

Speaker:

got so many you know, with all these devices and stuff, and, you know, here

Speaker:

we are doing an hour long putting more info out into the world. A little

Speaker:

bit ironic there, but but, you know, hopefully, this helps some people

Speaker:

clear some things up. What are the things as

Speaker:

I was sitting here just doing a little bit of math?

Speaker:

This is something I want us to discuss because I I think this might be

Speaker:

rare in today's world. If I'm doing the math

Speaker:

correct, we have 3 mature

Speaker:

men on a call, all

Speaker:

that have been married 30 plus years,

Speaker:

and we'll let people give the specs and all here in just a second.

Speaker:

I think it would be valuable for us to discuss, again, with the theme

Speaker:

resiliency, the importance of

Speaker:

that long term covenant

Speaker:

biblical type relationship, which is the husband and wife.

Speaker:

And so, Jimmy, let me start with you. Why don't you

Speaker:

give me I think you said 32 years earlier. My wife and I are coming

Speaker:

up on our 37th year, and I think, Dan, you're at

Speaker:

least in the thirties. You can do that when we jump over to you. But

Speaker:

talk about the importance of that relationship

Speaker:

and how it ties into our theme of the show resilience.

Speaker:

Well, you know, I there's so so many thoughts I have on this, but I

Speaker:

think number 1 is your marriage relationship is gonna reveal

Speaker:

things about you, about your selfishness,

Speaker:

about your pride, about a whole bunch of things. I think God uses

Speaker:

your marriage to refine you more than anything else.

Speaker:

And I think that you know, so you learn a lot about some things in

Speaker:

you that need to change in order to keep a relationship like

Speaker:

this going for the long term. And then I think you you learn so much

Speaker:

about serving one another. You know? A mentor of ours has always told us to

Speaker:

outserve your spouse. If you can put their needs above your own

Speaker:

and be super intentional about that where you're actually

Speaker:

seeking to serve their needs above your own. That has proven to

Speaker:

be a formula for success. And then I was thinking

Speaker:

too that love is really about willing the absolute

Speaker:

best for someone else. That's what true love is. True love

Speaker:

means I want what's best for you

Speaker:

above all else. I you know? And I'm willing to serve, and I'm willing to

Speaker:

sacrifice, and I'm willing to lay down my own desires in

Speaker:

order to help you experience your best life in Christ,

Speaker:

become the person you're made to be. So I think over 32 years, you'll learn

Speaker:

a lot about yourself. You'll learn a lot about what it takes to make relationships

Speaker:

go. You'll learn a lot about how to handle conflict and how to reconcile

Speaker:

that in such a way that you're better on the other side, that you're resilient.

Speaker:

And listen, life is hard. Life is not easy. And if you

Speaker:

think it's easy, you haven't lived long enough. There's a lot of

Speaker:

challenges and obstacles that you're gonna face. And when you

Speaker:

have one key relationship that makes it for the

Speaker:

long haul, No one knows you better than that person,

Speaker:

and usually, that's when you stand in the corner of that

Speaker:

person best over the long term.

Speaker:

Dan, how about you? How long have you been married? 34

Speaker:

years. I'm between both of you. We're all in the

Speaker:

thirties. Yes. Well, it's kinda I I I don't know why, but it's sort

Speaker:

of rare to and I wanna say this, Dan, and then I wanna get your

Speaker:

thoughts on this. We my wife and I are down

Speaker:

here in Arizona. We're in a 55 and older community, and my wife and I

Speaker:

have had this conversation recently

Speaker:

about I don't I am

Speaker:

gosh. I wanna be sensitive in how I say this because some of these folks

Speaker:

listen in here. Many people on their second,

Speaker:

third, sometimes more marriages, they've

Speaker:

got the complexity of children

Speaker:

in different situations, maybe children that get along

Speaker:

with their current spouse or children that don't get along.

Speaker:

And our my wife and I are extremely thankful, number 1, that we've stuck

Speaker:

with each other. There's been times that she has absolutely, without a

Speaker:

doubt, stuck with me. But, anyway, I I do

Speaker:

think it makes it tougher the

Speaker:

more of these tight relationships that we have. And,

Speaker:

again, I don't only know how to address that, but it's been something I've been

Speaker:

thinking about. So, anyway, Dan, what kinda input,

Speaker:

advice, thoughts do you have related to

Speaker:

this tight relationship, especially with the theme of

Speaker:

resilience? Well, I I remember

Speaker:

in college, I I went to a, marriage

Speaker:

marriage, pre marriage, relationship seminar put on. I

Speaker:

remember the guy said, that that, love is

Speaker:

spelled with a c, commitment.

Speaker:

It's commitment. You know? And it's not a feeling. It's not an emotion.

Speaker:

It's it's literally love is a commitment. I I just remember that being foundational.

Speaker:

They're not to say that shouldn't have feelings and that type of thing, but it's

Speaker:

first that commitment. It's it's like, hey, divorce, not even an option.

Speaker:

You know, it's just it's off the table. It's not part of the language. And

Speaker:

just I remember in college here and there, obviously, I I had parents stayed together.

Speaker:

They were model examples. Never saw divorce in my in

Speaker:

my own family. But I just remember that being a a

Speaker:

stake in the ground, Tim, just that that you spell

Speaker:

marriage with a c, it's commitment. And it stuck with me.

Speaker:

And and so I dated my wife 9 years. So actually, we've been

Speaker:

we've been together, married 34. Well, we've been in relationship

Speaker:

for 43. So if you wanna talk about a long term relationship,

Speaker:

43 years, all the way through high school, all the way through college, 1 year

Speaker:

out of college, and then 34 years of marriage. They're in

Speaker:

any secrets. I mean, like, you know, I once heard Jim

Speaker:

Dobson say that the longer you're together, the more romance goes

Speaker:

out because there's no mystery. Like, it's just you know everything.

Speaker:

You've experienced everything. We don't tell each other stories because we're

Speaker:

we were there. We were both there. You know, like you know, she goes, Oh,

Speaker:

it didn't happen that way. I'm like, Yeah, it did. Anyways, like, That's not good.

Speaker:

But but we're talking 43 years. So again, it's that

Speaker:

commitment thing. Like, it's not a feeling. It's not, hey,

Speaker:

things have changed, new seasons. We're you know, as Jimmy said, empty nest. We're open

Speaker:

nest. Like, we have all of our kids out, and now we get to take

Speaker:

people in. You know, we get to receive people into our house, and we

Speaker:

just love it. We just love the fact of as a

Speaker:

a a a, you know, 3 married kids and now grandkids, but

Speaker:

we can be in a position as a couple,

Speaker:

after 43 years of just through the valley and through

Speaker:

the mountain top. Being resilience is such a good

Speaker:

word to describe marriage. And and I'll say this. Jimmy and I

Speaker:

been together for 34 years. Like, right when I got married, got out of

Speaker:

college, started in ministry, Jimmy and I became friends.

Speaker:

And I'll say this, not only is is is resilience and commitment

Speaker:

key to maintain a marriage, which is rare these days,

Speaker:

But you gotta have at least one warrior in your life. Like, I can't

Speaker:

tell you how many times if it's not weekly, Jimmy

Speaker:

I mean, we're talking like once a week. I'll call Jimmy

Speaker:

like, Jimmy, I the like, we just got in an argument. You

Speaker:

know? And you know what? Or he calls. He's like, I can't believe that

Speaker:

happened again. And I mean, it it it literally

Speaker:

diffuses, literally diffuses

Speaker:

processing through that that, oh my gosh. Okay. I

Speaker:

I'm committed. I love her. We're committed to each other.

Speaker:

We're gonna make this happen. We're gonna reconcile. We're gonna

Speaker:

we're gonna make make it through this. And I just think

Speaker:

that at least one like you I can't imagine

Speaker:

facing some stuff in my marriage and having no one outside of

Speaker:

my wife. Like like I don't like to have Jimmy to go to and

Speaker:

process and think through it. Like, even Jimmy said, we even have a guy, a

Speaker:

mentor of ours, this guy named Dan Webster that he

Speaker:

literally said during one of our weekly calls, one of our coaching mentoring

Speaker:

calls, he was, I never let my wife out serve me. Dude,

Speaker:

that, like, that stuck to me. And and that has motivated

Speaker:

me, just that one line that Dan said to us, that Jimmy

Speaker:

said earlier, that has just spurred me on. And I'm not saying

Speaker:

to my wife, hey, by the way, my my mentor told me no one's gonna

Speaker:

outserve me. I'm just trying to live it, trying to do it,

Speaker:

and I just praise God for that. Jimmy, I

Speaker:

believe that I heard somewhere that you and your wife had

Speaker:

to go through and listen, all of us have gone through difficult situations,

Speaker:

but there was a cancer situation that she had to deal with.

Speaker:

And what were some of the things that

Speaker:

y'all did leading up to that that made

Speaker:

you resilient through that specific

Speaker:

situation? Yeah. Yeah. It's great.

Speaker:

Well, I think the interesting thing is my word for the year back in

Speaker:

2008 when Evolise was diagnosed with cancer was

Speaker:

love, and I thought I was doing great. You know, I had the

Speaker:

year of love. I was intentional. You know, I was thinking of what Dan said.

Speaker:

Love love absolutely is a commitment, but there's no question. If you don't have

Speaker:

the feelings associated with it, the intimacy, you're in big trouble. There's

Speaker:

no question. And you have to be super intentional

Speaker:

about maintaining the emotional connection and about

Speaker:

clearing damage out so that you still love and admire and

Speaker:

cherish somebody. At that time, Tim, we were in the

Speaker:

throes of 4 kids on 4 different fields

Speaker:

every day. The complexity of our lives in

Speaker:

those moments was incredible. All the kids were 13 and under, so we we had

Speaker:

our hands full. But my word for the year was love, and what I didn't

Speaker:

realize, I thought I was doing great. I was more intentional. But when she was

Speaker:

diagnosed with cancer, and you're really faced with very, very

Speaker:

bad odds of survival, very bad, single digit

Speaker:

odds of surviving 2 years, it woke me up in a way of,

Speaker:

like, wow. You know? I can't remember the last time we made eye contact. I

Speaker:

can't remember the last time that I held your hand and we went for a

Speaker:

walk. And it really shook me up actually, and and it changed my

Speaker:

behavior right away right away because I was gonna cherish those

Speaker:

moments regardless of whether it was 1 year or 2 years or or

Speaker:

22 years. And here we sit, you know, 15 years later,

Speaker:

having navigated that, she's been cancer free for most of that. This past

Speaker:

year, she had another early diagnosed bat battle with

Speaker:

with ovarian cancer. So that's all taken care of. She's

Speaker:

completely healthy, and it's amazing. But I think I think,

Speaker:

you know, hardship is gonna do one of 2 things.

Speaker:

You're either it's either gonna drive you apart. It's gonna be a separator.

Speaker:

It's gonna it's gonna tear down whatever you have, whatever that

Speaker:

relationship is, or it's gonna bring you together.

Speaker:

And so for us, it was a coming together. You know, it was a

Speaker:

coming together. It was realizing, boy, whatever time we have left is a gift, and

Speaker:

we're gonna take advantage of it. And to be honest, you know, it's been 15

Speaker:

years. The normality of life comes back. You

Speaker:

get through these challenging times, and a lot of times you forget

Speaker:

about the most important things again, and you have to be reminded of

Speaker:

it again and again. So I would say, you know, in our particular case, that

Speaker:

adversity brought us together. It forged some things in our

Speaker:

marriage, in our relationship that I'm so grateful for. It forged a

Speaker:

bunch of things for both of us as parents and in our relationship with

Speaker:

our kids. Our kids' lives are gonna be marked by those

Speaker:

seasons, And they're gonna have a confidence in our family, a confidence in

Speaker:

God, and what he's capable of doing. And, I would say all of those

Speaker:

things go into forging that relationship in a way

Speaker:

that it makes it stronger in the long haul. Yeah. That's

Speaker:

good. Dan, I wanted to follow-up with you, but I wanna preface this

Speaker:

with a bit of context. We are

Speaker:

all in the leadership space, and in our audience,

Speaker:

it would probably call themselves in the leadership space and also

Speaker:

layer in faith with it and the business and ministry and things like

Speaker:

that. One of the things that we continually see

Speaker:

that is disappointing are people that we would put in

Speaker:

leadership positions that have

Speaker:

situations where they don't hold that marriage

Speaker:

relationship strong. And a lot of

Speaker:

times, it happens when maybe there's wedges or

Speaker:

adversity that's come in as Jimmy brought up. But one of the things

Speaker:

I've noticed is when there are I hate to use the

Speaker:

word temptations because I don't even think that captures it, but, you

Speaker:

know, I know that you with FCA have gotten on an

Speaker:

airplane and flown a lot of places all over the world. You've stood up in

Speaker:

front of groups. And just just to give context for

Speaker:

those people listening to audio, we might be

Speaker:

mature, these 3 men here, but we are a good looking,

Speaker:

mature 3 dudes here. Not that

Speaker:

that makes this a better or worse conversation here,

Speaker:

but there's always opportunity for weakness, for

Speaker:

temptation, and things like that. Dan,

Speaker:

if how do we stay strong?

Speaker:

How do we not put out the vibes

Speaker:

that, you know, I'm open or closed

Speaker:

for business when you're on airplanes, when you're up in front of groups, when

Speaker:

you're around college age people like you have? And I may get

Speaker:

some input from Jimmy on this too because I think this is a very

Speaker:

important topic, so and you could go any

Speaker:

direction you want to with this. I just wanted to kind of preface, how do

Speaker:

we stay strong? Tim, I would say by the grace of

Speaker:

God, there goes I. Right? I mean, we've heard that. I I think

Speaker:

we're all wearing the t shirts. You know, we see men of God that we

Speaker:

think are, like, way above us, and they're crashing and

Speaker:

burning. So by the grace of God, you know, there goes I. Like,

Speaker:

just thank you, Lord, every day for the grace. You know, the grace is

Speaker:

for the is for the broken and the hurt and and and for the

Speaker:

ones that are just willing to submit and say, Lord, I'm all yours and be

Speaker:

a living sacrifice. You know, Tim, I think,

Speaker:

think, you know, it it's a

Speaker:

constant thing that leaders are being taken down,

Speaker:

and they are getting crushed every step of the

Speaker:

way. And, you know, I remember

Speaker:

that my pastor, the church I grew up in, 9 years,

Speaker:

he was my pastor. I'm in ministry today because of him.

Speaker:

He baptized me. He baptized my wife, baptized my whole

Speaker:

family, married us, did our marriage counseling.

Speaker:

And a year after he married us, he went off with his secretary.

Speaker:

You know? And I'm like I looked at Don, and I'm like,

Speaker:

if he if he can't do it, we can't do it. Like, there's

Speaker:

no way. We have no hope. Like, 0. Like, 0.

Speaker:

So my mom's like, oh, we got a great Christian counselor. Go to him. So

Speaker:

we went to go see Omar. We went to him for a year year and

Speaker:

a half. And really felt like God gave us some language, some terminologies.

Speaker:

First time we're in counseling, processing through some of her

Speaker:

background for the broken family and some of my background.

Speaker:

Found out later he ran off with a client.

Speaker:

I'm like, maybe it's us. Maybe it's Yeah. Like, what

Speaker:

the heck is going on? I like, the Christian

Speaker:

counselor that that that's in it full time, our our pastor of a

Speaker:

megachurch in the DC area. Anyways, I I just

Speaker:

think at that point, Tim, we realize

Speaker:

we had to have brutal honesty. So again, my wife and I, we fight like

Speaker:

cats and dogs. We put everything on the table. You know, we don't bury

Speaker:

nothing. No, I wish sometimes we buried stuff. Every once in a while, I'm

Speaker:

like, Hun, can we just put that under the table? But, you know, I you

Speaker:

know, just like we come together and we deal with it. We close the

Speaker:

gap. We punch awkward in the face. Whatever phrase you wanna say,

Speaker:

we deal with the crap on the table.

Speaker:

And I don't like that all the time. Like, I I just sometimes

Speaker:

wish I'd just put my head in the sand and don't deal with it.

Speaker:

But but we it's always on the table. We're always dealing with it. It's

Speaker:

always fresh. And we're, you know, obviously

Speaker:

again, like I said with with even with Jimmy, like, I I would

Speaker:

I I I've shared so much confess to Jimmy,

Speaker:

like, I thought this or, hey, I was here or like,

Speaker:

if I'm in the airport, I'm going, I'm gonna have to tell Jimmy about this.

Speaker:

You know, like like, that's gonna be a reality. And we have

Speaker:

shared and confided of and praise God, we we God has

Speaker:

protected us. God has spared us. God has extended his

Speaker:

grace upon us. But that doesn't mean that that we we've

Speaker:

gotten really close and and and something happened. And then

Speaker:

guess what though? Instead of bearing it, I'm sharing it with

Speaker:

Jimmy. I'm putting it on the table as my warrior, my accountability

Speaker:

partner, and asking the tough questions and knowing I'm gonna be accountable to

Speaker:

him when I come back from the trip. And so I I just

Speaker:

think, Tim, you know, what I saw within my own life early

Speaker:

on, I saw, you know, the idea like,

Speaker:

you know, hey, it's by the grace of God, there goes I. You gotta have

Speaker:

another warrior in your life to be able to, you know, confide in and be

Speaker:

able to share with. But also just that we're putting stuff on the table.

Speaker:

We we are literally closing the gap daily. Like,

Speaker:

daily. And not letting the sun go down on our ankle

Speaker:

or our issues. So that's what I would say. Yeah. That's good.

Speaker:

Jimmy, any practices, habits, or anything that you

Speaker:

wanna add to that that's helpful? Yeah. I was just thinking, man, You

Speaker:

know, Evolisa and I made decisions very, very early in our marriage, I would say

Speaker:

from day 1. We had very specific, guardrails

Speaker:

in our lives, very specific decisions that we made that would help us

Speaker:

to avoid situations. Because, really, most sin is just

Speaker:

a sin of opportunity. You know? An opportunity presents you when your

Speaker:

guard is down. Maybe you're tired, you're hungry, you're whatever.

Speaker:

And if you haven't made the decision in advance about how you're

Speaker:

gonna handle a situation, you're you're probably in

Speaker:

trouble. So we made decisions early on. We were people made fun of

Speaker:

us. Like, oh, you won't ride in a car 1 on 1 with a

Speaker:

woman? No. I won't. So we would literally go from

Speaker:

where my workplace to a meeting in separate cars, and people were

Speaker:

like, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah. I actually wanna keep it that way.

Speaker:

I've made certain commitments to my wife, and she's made certain commitments to

Speaker:

me so that we know we have certainty of trust, And, you

Speaker:

know, human beings need certainty, and especially in relationships. So we

Speaker:

set these guardrails. And I would say another thing that really trips up men

Speaker:

probably much more than women is alcohol. And, you know, every

Speaker:

single drink of alcohol that you make, especially in a an anonymous

Speaker:

situation when you're on the road, lowers your resistance

Speaker:

to making good decisions. You will increasingly every single

Speaker:

drink is gonna lead to a decision that you're probably not so proud of.

Speaker:

So I talk about, you know, hey. Listen. Yeah. It doesn't mean you never drink

Speaker:

alcohol, but I think you certainly should reevaluate when you drink alcohol and if

Speaker:

it's putting you in a compromising situation. Lots of people make

Speaker:

very, very bad decisions when they're under the influence of alcohol.

Speaker:

So we set very specific guidelines. It's the Billy Graham rule. Tim,

Speaker:

it's the Billy Graham rule. Billy Graham never traveled alone. Why?

Speaker:

Because he needed someone there to protect him against attacks of the enemy. And you

Speaker:

know what? His marriage lasted with purity. Today, I would love

Speaker:

it if our pastors would make that rule. They have the same rule.

Speaker:

And they should set up these these guardrails that are really healthy because

Speaker:

you know this. God establishes guardrails not to,

Speaker:

not to restrict us and take the joy out of life, but the very

Speaker:

opposite to give us freedom to protect us from

Speaker:

stupid decisions. And within those boundaries, you have

Speaker:

absolute incredible freedom, and that's where you experience

Speaker:

life. A life where you're not weighed down by the regrets and mistakes of the

Speaker:

past. It's not perfect, but it sure does help. Yeah. I think

Speaker:

that's good. I I I just had something pop into my head. More alcoholic was

Speaker:

less resiliency, by the way. And and, again, I I

Speaker:

enjoy a sip of whiskey and all every once in a while, but it's with

Speaker:

my wife. I actually had a business trip recently. I was gone close to a

Speaker:

week, and there are times that with the client, we'll have a sip of

Speaker:

something. We actually decided, both of us, no alcohol during the

Speaker:

entire trip. I had my energy level, decision making.

Speaker:

Yes. You know, I'm 61. I'm kinda watching that energy level now,

Speaker:

making sure I've got what I need to bring to the table with the people

Speaker:

I interact with. So I do believe that's powerful. We could

Speaker:

probably do a full seminar on just this topic. Yes. I

Speaker:

wanna move on, though, because I wanna get to some daily habits,

Speaker:

especially specifically wisdom for men with the book. But

Speaker:

one other item that to me is fascinating as I was

Speaker:

kinda just learning more about you 2 was the thing that I think Dan just

Speaker:

brought up. Maybe both of y'all brought it up. And that's the fact that I

Speaker:

think y'all's relationship goes back, you know, to 1990.

Speaker:

And I do think that's rare in the world we're in today that

Speaker:

that people, much less men, have relationship. And,

Speaker:

Dan, I guess, talk more about it. I mean, is it is it a

Speaker:

friendship? Is there a covenant there? Is it a partnership? I mean,

Speaker:

y'all have written 9 plus books together.

Speaker:

You've written this journal, you know, this devotional together.

Speaker:

Talk about how you define it, but give me more

Speaker:

info on this relationship between you and Jimmy, Dan.

Speaker:

It is unfortunately, right, Tim, should be normal

Speaker:

in in in the church. You know? But it's rare. I

Speaker:

mean, I I feel we we and by the way, we we thank the

Speaker:

Lord almost daily that God has allowed us. And we don't

Speaker:

take it for granted. That's that's for sure. But, you

Speaker:

know, Jim, I I just come on staff with FCA

Speaker:

in 1990. Virginia Tech, he was a

Speaker:

grad student down there and was a part of leadership, and they invited you

Speaker:

know, I was playing pro lacrosse at the time. And they invited me to come

Speaker:

down and and speak and, you know, they had a big group and

Speaker:

spoke. And I'd never met Jimmy, and he beelined after for me. And he's like,

Speaker:

I'm moving to Northern Virginia. I got a job,

Speaker:

job we need to connect, and met his girlfriend at the time. It became his

Speaker:

wife, Ivelisse. And, anyways, it just was it

Speaker:

was awesome. Like so then he came to Northern Virginia, and then we connected. And

Speaker:

and then I had 2 buddies that I met separately that one

Speaker:

was in from college, John Patton, and the other one was Scott Steiner that met

Speaker:

at a NFL, fundraiser.

Speaker:

And they needed to be roommates, so the 3 of them came together. I

Speaker:

got married, and we were getting together for accountability

Speaker:

every Friday morning, Tim. And and we would spend 2

Speaker:

hours, the 4 of us, you know, John, Jimmy, Scott, and Dan,

Speaker:

would spend 2 hours. We probably drank, what, Jimmy, 3 or 4

Speaker:

pots of coffee, Probably a pot of coffee each. We weren't sure if we were

Speaker:

high on coffee or high on the Holy Spirit. It was one of those 2.

Speaker:

Might have a combination, but it was powerful. Like, we confessed

Speaker:

sin, we had tears, we prayed over.

Speaker:

Little legalistic. If you didn't read your Bible, you had to put $5 in the

Speaker:

jug. If you said something wrong, put $5 in the jug. If you looked at

Speaker:

something wrong, put $5. So there's a lot of money in the jug because we

Speaker:

were young and and right out of the gate. But, really, we we created a

Speaker:

name, Tim. We said the 4 horsemen. We have a text group, and and Jimmy.

Speaker:

Right? Yesterday, we probably texted each other 20, 30 times yesterday, the

Speaker:

4 of us. Here we are, 34 years later, we're all over the

Speaker:

US, not in a a city. We come together for

Speaker:

the 4 horsemen retreat. And, you know, Jimmy

Speaker:

and I obviously have written 9 books together. We wanna write 30 together.

Speaker:

We have this vision of doing life together in that way. You know, I just

Speaker:

went through I transitioned out of FCA in August after

Speaker:

34 years, and it was a very difficult time that that

Speaker:

it was hard to release, but it was good. God was opening the door. God

Speaker:

was closing the door. And, man, it just was hard with 3 months

Speaker:

sabbatical during the summer. And guess what? I talked to Jimmy

Speaker:

every day, probably once or twice, maybe three times, to

Speaker:

to get through that time so my heart was right, my mind was

Speaker:

clear, and I could process things. And and you know what? Jimmy was

Speaker:

Jimmy was my horseman. Jimmy was my warrior. 34

Speaker:

years. Now it's not perfect. We get upset. We hang up on each other.

Speaker:

We, you know, sometimes call each other out on things. But but that

Speaker:

is a 3 AM friend. Someone that you could call at

Speaker:

3 AM, Jimmy's gonna get in the car, drive from Colorado,

Speaker:

and Mhmm. Rescue me or or kidnap

Speaker:

me, pull me out of something. And and that's the beauty of it. It's not

Speaker:

just like, would he be in the trenches with you? I'm like, I'm like, no.

Speaker:

I got other guys to be in the trenches. Like, this is different. This is

Speaker:

completely different. And that's what God has put together,

Speaker:

not only with with Jimmy, but also we have 2 other guys, John and Scott.

Speaker:

But amazing to journey together. You know, we say iron

Speaker:

sharpens iron. Right? I believe wisdom

Speaker:

sharpens, foolishness dulls. And, unfortunately,

Speaker:

I think a lot of times, I see men, and they're like, they're

Speaker:

not sharpening each other. They're dulling each other. They're lowering the

Speaker:

ball bar. They're not leveling up as Jimmy said earlier. That's what wisdom

Speaker:

does. Wisdom always levels up. Foolishness always dulls

Speaker:

and levels down. And that's what we have with the 4 horsemen.

Speaker:

Jimmy, you wanna add anything to that? Yeah. I was just thinking in the early

Speaker:

days, it was really more about accountability, you know, as

Speaker:

young men. And I think I I don't think that lasts very long, to be

Speaker:

honest with you, because then it just becomes a game of gotcha, and then guys

Speaker:

end up hiding stuff. And it's a whole bunch of nonsense. And that's why I

Speaker:

think actually accountability groups are not working very well if you look at

Speaker:

the polls from Gallup. But what does work is when you have a positive

Speaker:

vision for your life and you share it with these group of

Speaker:

warriors. It it really is about driving towards the future that

Speaker:

you want rather than avoiding the sin. I mean, good grief.

Speaker:

Really? That's my whole life's gonna be about avoiding sin? Nonsense.

Speaker:

God has has promised us when we follow Christ, when we abide in him, he

Speaker:

promised us abundant life, an abundant life of freedom.

Speaker:

So when you when you create that vision that you want for your marriage and

Speaker:

you start moving in that direction, you start having some success.

Speaker:

But if you share that with your brothers, like Dan and John and

Speaker:

Scott for me, all of a sudden, they're they're kinda fanning the flames

Speaker:

so that you do achieve the vision that you set for yourself

Speaker:

with your personal health, with with your impact at in

Speaker:

work, with your energy levels, like you talked about, Tim,

Speaker:

energy. I I talked for 15 minutes this morning about energy

Speaker:

and how it impacts everything else. Taking care of your soul,

Speaker:

and, okay, what is the vision that I have for my life? So I would

Speaker:

just say that that's much more important. When I moved from the

Speaker:

East Coast to Colorado several years ago, we went from

Speaker:

a community where we were known and we knew people. We knew

Speaker:

everybody and we were known. We came to a town where we knew no one

Speaker:

and no one knew us. And the danger of that and that's why these

Speaker:

warrior relationships are so important. The danger of anonymity

Speaker:

of being in a a town where you're not known and where there's no

Speaker:

expectation about your behavior is you kinda feel like you can

Speaker:

do anything you want. And that's when you fall into patterns that are

Speaker:

destructive. When you have these men in your life, if they

Speaker:

have those 3 or 4 sisters in their life that are helping them

Speaker:

advance toward their best life in Christ, that's where it really

Speaker:

makes the biggest difference. Mhmm. I

Speaker:

I really like that because I do agree accountability, sometimes even just what

Speaker:

we'll call a bible study group. Yep. You know, you hate to say

Speaker:

this as somebody's probably gonna be critical. They don't have that

Speaker:

strength, that that cord,

Speaker:

that resilience to kinda tie in with our theme Yeah.

Speaker:

That one needs. So Yeah. I I'm very

Speaker:

impressed with that. Yeah. You know, guys, one of the

Speaker:

themes that we started this show on now going

Speaker:

on 5 plus years ago, almost 300 episodes,

Speaker:

is that culture

Speaker:

we don't define success in the way that culture

Speaker:

does. We need to redefine what success is. And I

Speaker:

was reading in in the daily wisdom this morning. It wasn't

Speaker:

the one for today, but there was something about legacy. And there was

Speaker:

a couple of things related to that in the I was scanning a few of

Speaker:

these. Dan, I'm a throw it to you first because this is

Speaker:

kind of the big question we like to ask here on the show, and then

Speaker:

we got a couple things we wanna talk about in the book.

Speaker:

How should we be defining success? We've talked about faith. We've talked about resilience.

Speaker:

We've talked about relationships. Either how do you or how

Speaker:

should we be defining success at this stage

Speaker:

of of where we're at? Great. Great question. How do you

Speaker:

define success, and how do you know if you're if you're winning? Right?

Speaker:

As the editors and sports minded people, like, we wanna win. Right?

Speaker:

Pickleball, you said you love pickleball. You know, I love pickleball, but I

Speaker:

wanna win. You know, it's it's still still a competition.

Speaker:

You know, Tim, you know, Jim and I wrote a a a book called,

Speaker:

obviously, One Word we talked about, but we also wrote a book called Lifeword.

Speaker:

And Lifeword, is about legacy. One word is

Speaker:

about life transformation.

Speaker:

Lifeword is is is really the title of your

Speaker:

book, and in one word is the chapters of each of the

Speaker:

years. So we're finishing up chapter 2024,

Speaker:

which will close, and that story is gonna be done here in the next,

Speaker:

several, days. In 25, we open a new chapter.

Speaker:

Right? And that'd be a new chapter in in the book. And I

Speaker:

believe, Tim, that that, winning

Speaker:

success is defined by legacy. And

Speaker:

legacy isn't defined we would Jimmy and I like to

Speaker:

define legacy not of what you leave behind. I left behind a building, it

Speaker:

has a name on it. Hey, I left behind money for my kids.

Speaker:

Left behind a business. It's it's like, oh, what we left behind.

Speaker:

It's actually a little bit different. It's what we left behind what we leave behind

Speaker:

that lives on in others. And and I

Speaker:

believe, we believe that it's it's wisdom in

Speaker:

life transformation fused into relationships that lives on

Speaker:

beyond us. In her book, Wisdom Walks, we we talk about,

Speaker:

which we we love. It's a old it's our old very first book. But wisdom

Speaker:

walks, it says true fruit grows on other people's

Speaker:

tree. That's legacy. It's not about like, hey, look at all the

Speaker:

fruit I'm doing. Like people go, oh, I want to be a fruit expert. Let's

Speaker:

see if you're producing any fruit. Well, I hope if you're a body in Christ

Speaker:

that you have fruit to show. Like, holy cow. What are you doing? What kind

Speaker:

of man of God are you if you don't have any fruit to show? K?

Speaker:

Mhmm. Like, check. Like like, yeah, I'm showing fruit daily, not the end of my

Speaker:

life, like now. Okay. Well, what else? Well, I

Speaker:

want fruit to show up on other people's tree. I'm having that kind of

Speaker:

impact and that kind of influence of legacy that it's

Speaker:

what lives on in others. My dad passed away in 2008. And

Speaker:

guess what? His legacy's living on in me. The best way

Speaker:

to honor him isn't to moan and complain, soak

Speaker:

and sour, but but to literally live every day the way my

Speaker:

dad will want me. Well, that's legacy. His DNA, his

Speaker:

life transformation is living in me every day. So I believe,

Speaker:

Tim, that that that is truly success.

Speaker:

That is winning when we say we're we're passing we

Speaker:

we we say live intentionally, maximize relationships,

Speaker:

and pass the torch. Right? Most of us live haphazardly,

Speaker:

not intentionally. Most of us marginalize relationships or manage

Speaker:

relationships, we don't maximize them. What does it look like show up every day to

Speaker:

maximize? And what's it look like not to drop the torch, but to

Speaker:

pass the torch to the next generation? That's winning

Speaker:

that success. How do you define success, Jimmy? Oh my

Speaker:

gosh. This is so great because I think the older I get, the more I

Speaker:

realize it's not about me. Even the concept

Speaker:

of legacy is tends to be self centered.

Speaker:

It's actually a little disgusting if you really think about it.

Speaker:

What's my legacy gonna be? Wow. Really? I'm not sure that's

Speaker:

anywhere in the Bible. I think the key to this, and I love what Dan

Speaker:

said, it's what lives on in others. For me,

Speaker:

success is all about living in such a way and loving

Speaker:

others in such a way that people discover God

Speaker:

and Christ. It it it really has nothing to do with me.

Speaker:

And if if people are remembering me, then I've failed.

Speaker:

You know, you talk about Jesus even said, father, let them be 1

Speaker:

as you and I are 1 so that people will believe

Speaker:

that they will see God out of the way we're united. So the whole

Speaker:

point of me living in a certain way or loving a certain

Speaker:

way is to draw attention to Jesus. So as a man of God, I

Speaker:

can't be successful if my life isn't drawing other

Speaker:

people's attention to Christ. Not just the way I do life, not

Speaker:

just the rules that I follow, but instead about the person of

Speaker:

Christ. So for me, legacy, I hope it's not about me because

Speaker:

no one's gonna remember you. I mean, statistically, no one beyond 2

Speaker:

generations is gonna remember you. My grandkids will

Speaker:

be the last generation that remembers me, but what I hope

Speaker:

they do is I hope they're walking in a tight relationship with Christ.

Speaker:

Real legacy is leaving a godly legacy rather than a a a legacy about

Speaker:

me. One of the things that I heard recently,

Speaker:

guys, was that sales of

Speaker:

Bibles had gone through the roof. I don't have the exact

Speaker:

numbers, and I don't have the article. Wow. But my interpretation

Speaker:

of that is that people are not necessarily looking for more

Speaker:

religion or more places to go because church attendance is some in

Speaker:

many ways going down. But in in my mind,

Speaker:

that told me that people are seeking some personal

Speaker:

relationship. It's my belief that

Speaker:

daily devotionals is part of that

Speaker:

equation. Is that some is

Speaker:

that part of what devotions do for us when you're writing your book? I'm

Speaker:

holding it up for those that are watching. Your daily wisdom for men

Speaker:

is creating that relationship daily. Dan, what are

Speaker:

your thoughts on that? Yes. The hope is a 100%

Speaker:

amen, high five. We we you know, what our

Speaker:

as Jimmy said, our words are nothing. Like, you know, part of it is is

Speaker:

just you know, if we're just babbling on and creating

Speaker:

extracurricular content and additional

Speaker:

content, it just it I it it that's

Speaker:

not the point. Our goal is to point to scripture. Like

Speaker:

when Jimmy and I speak, we don't help people come up and say, you did

Speaker:

great. We hope people say Jesus is good. You know, if they

Speaker:

they compliment us, it's like, maybe I did something wrong. There's too much attention

Speaker:

on me. I needed to point toward Jesus. And the

Speaker:

same way with the daily wisdom for men is just we wanna point

Speaker:

people to God's word. We believe God's word will never

Speaker:

return void. Men are not getting their face in the book.

Speaker:

Mature Christians our age are are slipping. The sin of

Speaker:

maturity, like, hey, I don't need to grow anymore. I just read one of our

Speaker:

devotions just the other day about that. The the point is we got

Speaker:

to point people to the word of God. And my dad

Speaker:

would always say the 3 d's of devotions, drudgery, discipline,

Speaker:

and delight. You know, it starts out as drudgery, like you're eating bark. I don't

Speaker:

know. It's not too fun, but you're just gonna do it. You know it's gonna

Speaker:

pay his price. Do that long enough, he would say, turns into a discipline. It's

Speaker:

the way I am. It's just every day. It's part of my lifestyle. It's like

Speaker:

breathing. It's a discipline. Then he'd get a big smile on his face and get

Speaker:

up. But then Danny, when it turns into a delight, is that's when

Speaker:

I long to be with my savior. And that's the thing. Some days it's

Speaker:

drudgery, some days it's discipline. And I'm praying for more days of

Speaker:

delight. But that's the key is just we believe, Jimmy and I

Speaker:

believe, that that yes, our words hopefully are a conduit.

Speaker:

Our our words are a bridge to be able to connect people to

Speaker:

the word of God, the transforming power of the word of God

Speaker:

so that they get their face in the book. They're getting transformed by the word

Speaker:

of God, and this, we believe, is the key. And, you know, our verse

Speaker:

on the back, we love the verse in the back. First Corinthians 16 13

Speaker:

was really the the the motive behind it says simply,

Speaker:

be on the alert. Right? Like, men, be on the alert. Have your head on

Speaker:

a swivel. Stand firm in the faith. That's what we've been talking about. And this

Speaker:

is the best part, act like men. Act like men, Tim. One of the

Speaker:

translations is be ye mainly. I like that translation.

Speaker:

Be ye mainly. That's a good t shirt. And then it ends with,

Speaker:

Be strong. And that's when Paul says, Grow up,

Speaker:

mature, act like men, live like men. Get your face in the

Speaker:

book and say, Yes. I praise God the Bible sales are up. I know the

Speaker:

YouVersion Bible app is blowing up. And we've just seen

Speaker:

God doing exciting things with His word all these

Speaker:

years. Right. Jimmy, first of all, I

Speaker:

do wanna say it's a beautiful book. When it first came in, I

Speaker:

was, like, going, wow. This is nice, bound.

Speaker:

So I guess Broadstreet, y'all's partner there. I mean, that that,

Speaker:

great job on that. It feels great, everything about it, and

Speaker:

going back to a word we had earlier, there's a simplicity

Speaker:

to that daily reading. I've been able to read through a few, and I like

Speaker:

that. But, Jimmy, quick question on it. Going back to the theme of

Speaker:

the show, resilience, how important is

Speaker:

daily devotion to building and being a resilient

Speaker:

man or resilient person? Yeah. It's essential. You

Speaker:

know, I think, you know, whenever you become if you don't do your daily

Speaker:

devotions, you become disconnected from the source of all life. So

Speaker:

if you just think in terms of you couldn't survive you couldn't survive

Speaker:

a couple of days. I guess it's maybe 3 days without water.

Speaker:

You can't survive 3 minutes without air. And so, you

Speaker:

know, you shouldn't be trying to survive very long without

Speaker:

spiritual connection and nourishment. You know? So I I think the biggest

Speaker:

thing is funny. I think this the idea that bible sales are up is great.

Speaker:

Maybe it's the Trump bible. Maybe that's what maybe that's the thing. Right?

Speaker:

That's it's a joke for the audience right there. The biggest gap

Speaker:

we have in the world is the gap between knowing and

Speaker:

doing. It's knowing and doing. And so we

Speaker:

it's not a lack of knowledge. In fact, it's not even a lack of necessarily

Speaker:

reading the Bible, although studies would show that very few people are reading the

Speaker:

Bible. What we try to do with the devotional is create

Speaker:

parable stories like Jesus did. He taught through real life

Speaker:

parables right now. Hey. What's going on? Life experience, and then he would bring the

Speaker:

principle. Parables always led to the principle for life.

Speaker:

That's what the devotion does. It's modern day language. It it

Speaker:

relates specifically to what men are experiencing right now,

Speaker:

and then it points you to the biblical truth, which you can build your life

Speaker:

on. You're not gonna build it on my story. You're not gonna build it on

Speaker:

Dan's story, but you can build it on the word of God. So that daily

Speaker:

devotion, hopefully, this is gonna inspire men to it's gonna relate

Speaker:

to men for sure in every single way. Hopefully, it's gonna inspire men

Speaker:

to learn the scripture and build their life on those principles.

Speaker:

I've got one more question for each of you, but I I I guess they

Speaker:

could find that anywhere, Amazon. Where where do you wanna

Speaker:

direct people to get to get the book? Yep.

Speaker:

Amazon, Barnes and Noble, it's it's in every outlet. Broadstreet

Speaker:

did an amazing job not only with the production of it, but the

Speaker:

distribution. It's in every outlet online, your favorite

Speaker:

place to go to get books, either retail place or by

Speaker:

by web online, you can do it. So yes. Good.

Speaker:

And if you're willing to Amazon or wherever you buy it, make sure you leave

Speaker:

a 5 star rating because you've number 1, you're gonna love it. And number 2,

Speaker:

you're gonna wanna give it to your brothers in Christ, and you're gonna wanna give

Speaker:

it to your family and your dads and your sons and all of that. So,

Speaker:

yeah, make sure you leave us a review. I'm actually

Speaker:

considering gifting some myself on this, so good job

Speaker:

on that. We'll include a link down in the show notes that goes to

Speaker:

Amazon that any other places that if somebody wants to

Speaker:

connect with you guys that they may wanna jump to that y'all wanna share here

Speaker:

before my final question? Yeah. I I

Speaker:

think, you know, again, I have social media at FCA,

Speaker:

Dan, which I got, you know, I'm

Speaker:

pretty active on that. LinkedIn, Facebook. But

Speaker:

also, email, you know, dan@sportslifeleadership.com.

Speaker:

Love to engage with people. I love to, get

Speaker:

them involved in ministry, sports ministry, leadership. It's all that's what it's all

Speaker:

about. The same way. Jimmy at be

Speaker:

unstoppable dot live, and my website's be

Speaker:

unstoppable dot live. It's the easiest way to do it. And I think

Speaker:

also the YouVersion Bible app is a great way to connect with

Speaker:

some of our writings. We've got a number of reading plans

Speaker:

on the YouVersion app. Just search for Dan or me, and those will come

Speaker:

up and journey with us, there as well.

Speaker:

I appreciate all that you guys are doing and love the conversation.

Speaker:

We are recording this towards the tail end of 2024. It's probably

Speaker:

gonna be released in early 2025. I'm gonna

Speaker:

ask each one of you, maybe starting with you, Jimmy, and

Speaker:

then Dan, to just look in the camera

Speaker:

and give either encouragement or tips or

Speaker:

whatever's on your heart, whatever the holy spirit might lead you to people

Speaker:

that are preparing and getting ready for 2025. I believe

Speaker:

it's going to be a phenomenal year for many people. I think there's gonna be

Speaker:

some challenges, but there's gonna be a lot of opportunity for

Speaker:

people that are diving into some of the things we've talked about right

Speaker:

here. Jimmy, what do you wanna share with people as they lean in and

Speaker:

begin 2025? Yeah. I think the most important

Speaker:

thing is to remember that this is about progress, not

Speaker:

perfection. A lot of people get tripped up because they feel like they've

Speaker:

failed, especially with any resolutions they've ever done. That's why

Speaker:

we scrapped resolutions and went to the single word. I would encourage every

Speaker:

man listening to this podcast to select a

Speaker:

one word theme for the year and drive towards life

Speaker:

transformation through that word. It'll change you mentally,

Speaker:

emotionally, physically, even your relationships and your finances.

Speaker:

So simplify things down, pick that word for the year, and

Speaker:

remember, this is about progress. You know, life is the playing

Speaker:

the long game. Don't get tripped up on your failures. Learn from

Speaker:

them. Turn back, and and stay on track.

Speaker:

Alright, Dan. How about you? Well, that's, that's good. Jimmy,

Speaker:

I'm ready to roll. 2025, here we come. Thank

Speaker:

you. 2025

Speaker:

is a clean slate. Brand new year.

Speaker:

Blue sky, blue ocean, just opportunity

Speaker:

abounds. So we just closed up 2024.

Speaker:

So how did 2024 end up? The choices and decisions you

Speaker:

made either put you on a road to reward or a road to regret.

Speaker:

You know, you're either glad 2024 is over, like,

Speaker:

woah, that was a tough year. Close the door. I never wanna go there

Speaker:

again. Some of you are sad because actually it was a good year. Like,

Speaker:

wow, 2024 was God did some amazing things and and and

Speaker:

I'm kind of sad to see 2024. But really when it comes

Speaker:

down to it, is the story that we're gonna tell at the end of

Speaker:

2025. So fast forward, we're at the end of 2025.

Speaker:

What story do you wanna tell about 2025? It's

Speaker:

gonna come down to the decisions and choices you make. Not

Speaker:

things happen to you. Yes, some things are out of your control. But the

Speaker:

decisions and choices you make will be the

Speaker:

stories we tell tomorrow. Because the

Speaker:

stories we're telling today are the ones the decisions that we

Speaker:

made yesterday. So the question is, today,

Speaker:

2025, what decisions and choices are you

Speaker:

gonna make so that when you

Speaker:

get to the end of the year, what story do you wanna tell because of

Speaker:

how you live that life and how you gave yourself

Speaker:

to be the person that God's called you to be? That's the key.

Speaker:

Excellent. Dan and Jimmy, thank you so much.

Speaker:

I appreciate, number 1, the conversation. This has been great.

Speaker:

But I appreciate really the model that y'all are providing an example of,

Speaker:

the things we discussed here, the model of just relationship between the 2 of

Speaker:

you, the model of marriage, the model of just

Speaker:

being resilient. Love that theme that developed. I

Speaker:

highly encourage everyone listening to get a copy of Daily

Speaker:

Wisdom For Men, probably multiple, so that you could share them and gift

Speaker:

them. Because I could tell you when you touch them, you're gonna wanna give people

Speaker:

this. It actually feels really, really good. So there'll be links. If you're

Speaker:

on YouTube or listen to podcast platforms, go click that. Get a

Speaker:

copy, and as Jimmy said, leave a review. I appreciate all of you

Speaker:

that have been listening in. This has been a great, great episode. I hope it's

Speaker:

been encouraging to you. Until next time, continue

Speaker:

being all that you were created to be.