Welcome to the Taboo to Truth podcast, unapologetic conversations about sexuality in midlife.

I'm your hostess, Karen Bigman, certified life and menopause coach and sex educator.

Whether it's a dwindling libido, a dry vagina, a challenging erection, or the emotional ups and downs of midlife, we're here to talk about it all.

I'm going to bring the often quiet into the light to create a safe space where no question is too awkward or taboo.

Together, we're creating a community of support and education where you can learn, share, and laugh about the intricate beauty of sex in midlife.

So grab your favorite drink and put me on speaker.

It's time we broke the silence.

Hello and welcome to my 50th episode.

I am so excited to celebrate this milestone with you.

I started this journey right around my 60th birthday when it finally came to me that this was an area that I really was passionate about and wanted to talk about.

And since then, I have learned so much.

I have changed so much.

And I hope that I have also changed some of my listeners, or even all of my listeners lives.

This process was 60 years in the making.

I started out as a computer programmer, and if you would have told me 60 years ago or I guess 35, 45 years ago that I would be a sex podcaster at this point in my life, I don't know that I would have believed you.

But now I know that I have come full circle and that this.

This subject, this mission that I have to help women talk about things that we don't talk about, to help my entire audience, regardless of gender, start to think about subjects that they may not have already thought about or to feel that what they are going through is something that a lot of people are going through and that they're not alone and that they have a place and a resource to go to.

In my first season, I talked about my personal journey.

I talked with dating coaches and menopause doctors.

Second season, I got a little broader because I started my certification as a sexuality educator with the sexual Health alliance.

My second season explored consensual non monogamy.

I interviewed a couple who had opened their marriage and their journey and also interviewed people who have changed their lives, like me, around 60, in a way differently, that they have opened up to fluidity in their gender, in their sexuality, and in their relationships.

The thing that is most notable for me is how much I have let go of judgments of things that I didn't really understand, didn't really know about, was curious, but a little frightened to even entertain like bdsm and open relationships.

I now understand what is behind why people do certain things differently than the way that I learned as a cisgender, heterosexual, monogamous woman.

I want the world to be sex positive.

And that is a really big challenge we all have.

It did start with menopause, and that's part of it.

Because it is such a fundamental change in our bodies that our sexuality changes as we get older.

We lose our libido.

We lose our arousal.

I hope you're enjoying this episode of taboo to truth.

Do you have any burning questions about sex in midlife menopause, dating after divorce, or exploring the spicier side of things like polyamory or kink?

I want to hear from you.

Head over to my website, taboototruth.com, and fill out the form with your questions.

I'll answer them anonymously in upcoming episodes so you can get the scoop without revealing your identity.

It's like having a secret hotline to all your midlife sex questions.

Whatever it is, I am all ears.

So jump over to my website, tabutotruth.com, and let's keep the conversation going.

Now back to the show.

But we also get this incredible window into our past and the ability to change our futures and to let go of all these things that define the first part of our life.

Because now we're old enough to have the hindsight and we're able to say, you know what?

I don't give a shit anymore.

Like, this is who I am and what I do.

It's also really, really critical that we start to talk about those uncomfortable subjects.

And that was what I intended when I started this.

And that is what I continue to do, is especially for people who are going through physical changes that impact their sex life, because your sexual health is part of your overall health.

It's the biopsychosocial circle, as I learned.

It's everything is.

Is intertwined.

And if you don't take care of it, if you let go of a certain part of your life, then it impacts the rest of your life.

Whether it's menopause, in which case you lose.

If you lose your libido or it starts to hurt or you're really not in the mood, it is really important that you understand there are things that you can do about that.

You do not have to live without sex.

You do not have to live in a body that doesn't feel good.

There's hormonal therapies, there's sex therapy.

There's all kinds of things that you can do to help your issues.

For the men who are listening, you are also going through your changes.

Sometimes that has something to do with erectile dysfunction or Peyronie's disease or some other issues that you might be facing.

And you want to have sex because you used to have a healthy sex life, but now you're embarrassed because of these issues.

There are so many things, so many treatments, and there are so many people that I've spoken to that can help.

You have the language to talk to your partner, to have the language to talk to your medical provider, primarily to find the right medical provider, but then to have a language to talk to your medical provider about some of these issues that are a little sticky and a little difficult to discuss.

Because we were not socialized, we were not taught to talk about sex.

We were taught to talk about the places down there or girls.

We make up names for things because we're embarrassed to say breasts, vulva, vagina, and penis.

I encourage you to know the words, whether you want to use them in public or not.

That's up to you.

But it's important that we shouldn't be ashamed and embarrassed to talk about things that everybody goes through.

Every woman is going to go through menopause.

Some will experience it worse than others.

Some will be lucky enough not to experience it in a bad way.

But there are treatments that everyone should have, even if they are not very symptomatic.

I am just so excited to share all of this with you and to let you know that I am going to take a couple of weeks off to regroup for season three.

But I do have some amazing interviews coming up for season three.

I've interviewed people in sex tech.

I've interviewed people who have businesses around helping sex workers where it is legal in Germany.

I am interviewing a bunch more sex therapists, a surrogate.

I've got so much going on.

And then I'll do some more information around midlife medical issues with as I meet more and more professionals in this space.

So stay tuned.

Send me your questions.

I would love to address them.

I'm starting a new series where I will answer your questions on air in the episode anonymously.

So please send me your questions.

Keep those reviews coming, keep those stars coming, and grab your favorite drink and remember to put me on speaker.

Thanks for joining me on the taboo to Truth podcast where I'm spicing up midlife one episode at a time.

If you've been enjoying the sizzle, why.

Not turn up the heat by giving.

Me a scorching five star rating and leaving a steamy review.

It's the best way to help others discover pleasure in their sex life.

So don't be shy, show me some love and keep the midlife adventure alive.

And until next time, grab your favorite drink and put me on speaker.

It's time we broke the silence.