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Okay, that was a quick
introductory there. All right. That

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is what the schedule says, so.
Well, it is good tonight to come

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together as a church family.
And again, I am thankful you braved

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the cold tonight. And we are
going to have the two couples that

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they would to make their way
to the stage. We have the James family

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and the Lund family. I was a
little upset about what brother Lund

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wore tonight. I really thought
that, you know, if you're going to

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be a testimony as a couple
that maybe your wife would dress

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you appropriately. But I guess
this is your protest for having to.

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For being asked. I did ask. I
asked if you wanted to be a part

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of this tonight. So, anyway.
But. So the kids are all having fun.

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We're going to have some fun
in here as well. But the intent is

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that we learn. And I know the
couples tonight are a little younger

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than we've done some in the
past. You're welcome. Yeah. I don't

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mean to talk about brother
Clovis, but brother Clovis has got

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some age on him. And the
couples up here are a little younger,

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but there's always an
opportunity to ask some questions

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that would help some others.
And again tonight, I think more so,

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too, is thinking about those
who may watch this later because

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it's going to be on video for
the rest of your lives. So be careful

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what you say. No pressure. No
pressure at all. Kind of introduce

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yourself. There's a microphone
right there. Yeah. Ms. James is going.

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Ladies first. Is that what we
should do? Maybe introduce yourself

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as to your. Just your name and
anything else you'd like to say.

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What do you do for a living?
That would be a good one.

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I'm Rachel James. I'm Abby and
Eddie's mom, primarily, and I'm a

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nurse practitioner and married
to this handsome guy.

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Yeah.

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I'm Phil James. We've been
coming here for six or seven years

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and eight years and time
flies. I'm a transportation manager.

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Y'all should have one over there.

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Yeah, I have my own. Am I on?

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Yeah. But even with the pink
shirt. Go ahead.

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Steve Wand. We've been here
about three years. I'm a program

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coordinator. Really just deal
with grants and contracts supporting

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cardiology at UT Southwestern.
Been saved since I was pretty young.

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Otherwise, you know us pretty well.

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Yeah.

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Valerie Lund. I am the daycare
director here, and I have. I was

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led to the Lord by my husband
when I was 19 years old. So I'm a

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little bit later in life, but
grew up in a Catholic family. Otherwise,

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we've enjoyed it here.

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How many kids?

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Oh, three. Three boys, 14 to
18, but one in college at Pensacola

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Christian.

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00:03:58,079 --> 00:04:03,319
There you go. All right. So
the Lund family and the James family,

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both very much involved in the
church, as most of you know, and

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have some wonderful kids.
Again, this is families who I believe

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are raising, or at least
attempting prayerfully with wisdom,

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raising their children
properly, who have homes. I've been

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in these or around these
couples a lot. So it's not like they

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could hide anything from me or
I could hide anything from them.

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They know me pretty well. And
so just a good example, just like

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the other couples we've had up
here have been good examples. And

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so as we ask the questions, I
hope that'll be a blessing to you.

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And so we'll start with the
Lund family. We'll ask Ms. Lund first

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when and whichever one
actually, these questions should

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be whichever one would like to
answer, then if the other one would

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00:05:00,235 --> 00:05:03,199
like to answer as well. Okay,
so when and where did y'all meet?

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00:05:04,059 --> 00:05:10,803
Well, I do like both sides of
the story, but I met a young lady

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at orientation to uta. I went
to UTA and I met a young lady, and

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we were hanging out, and she
wanted me. She wanted to introduce

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me to John Lund, Steve's
brother. And so we went over to Steve's

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apartment. And so I'm hanging
out with a group of friends, and

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he walked in the door rather
perturbed. He just. You could just

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tell on his face he was not
happy that there were so many people

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in his household that he
wasn't expecting. So he kind of was

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facing the floor, and his. He
connected a glance with me and looked

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down and just looked back up,
just this double take. And his whole

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demeanor, his whole expression
changed, and it was just the most

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adorable thing. So when I went
back to the friend's house and spent

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the night, I spent the evening
talking about this fella that we

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met. And it took him a few
times of us hanging out as a group

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before he asked for my number,
and he still couldn't remember my

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name. He knew it started with
a V. So when he finally asked for

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my telephone number, I wrote
it on a little receipt and I put

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V check, because that's what
he referred to me as for quite some

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time. He actually. Funny
story. He actually laminated that

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receipt, and he still has it
in a little memory book.

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So from my side, I do want to
preface this with I told you I was

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saved when I was very young
and really tried to follow God for

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a long time. But then once I
hit my mid to late teens, I just

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followed the world. But one
thing that had stuck with me from

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my youth pastor Clint Cavenas
at Trinity is he'd always stress

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that we should pray for God to
prepare the mate he wants for us

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and bring us together. So even
when I was living for myself and

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somehow God still heard my
prayer, but I had always prayed this

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one prayer that God would send
me the right wife, the one he wanted,

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and that I would know it,
because I'm pretty dense. So I was

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working long hours and I came
home. I was driving a tow truck at

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the time, and I came home
tired, just ready to crash. And apparently

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we were having a party at my
apartment, so I was pretty annoyed

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and came in. And just like she
said, I was just mad. But then I

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looked up and connected, saw
her, and I don't know what I thought

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or felt anything or probably
didn't. For a while, I was pretty

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numb. But I did go home to my
parents house the next day and told

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my mom, I've met my wife. And
within about a week, within about

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a week, we were talking about
it. So it was mutual. But I knew

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for sure just the moment I saw
her. I don't know how I knew. I just

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knew.

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So love at first sight.

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Yeah. For me, absolutely. Took
her a couple days.

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I can see why. More so about
your brother than. I'm glad you skirted

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that one. You skirted that
one. Some of y'all don't know the

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brother, but I hope maybe
he'll watch this later. But, man,

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you.

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He's watching.

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You really, really did good.
All right. How did y'all meet?

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So it was 2013, and we were
both living our own single lives

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in two separate states. I was
in Minnesota, she was in Texas. And

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so my mom is a nurse, and they
had gone on a couple trips, medical

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missions trips, and encouraged
me to do something like that, even

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though I'm not medical, but
just wanted to get away and do something,

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you know, worthwhile. And so I
signed up for that trip. I didn't

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know anybody on the trip, just
signed up and it was to Romania.

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So I just remember meeting
Rachel in the airport in Amsterdam.

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We all had flown in on
different flights, met there in Amsterdam.

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And I don't really remember a
lot other than just introducing myself.

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There was a bunch of people
that we were meeting at the time,

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just all introducing
ourselves. And so that's when we

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first met. We served that week
together, you know, in. In the clinic,

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and then started talking about
a. A year later. And then we, you

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know, did FaceTime. And things
like that. Since we didn't live near

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each other and came down to
Texas in 2015 in February, and we

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got married the end of that
year. She can add all the details.

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My side of the story is much
longer, so you have to go on a missions

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trip to hear the real story.
It wasn't love at first sight.

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I think. Not doing this as
certainly pointing out, but how old

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were y'all when y'all got married?

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I was 30. He was 33.

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Okay. I just like to point
that out.

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There's hope for some of you.

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That's why I'm just the
average person in America, men and

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women. Men is 29, women is 30.
That's the average in America when

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they get married. So I'd just
like to point that out because we

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have some other couples, and I
won't point Brother Free Is or anybody

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00:10:37,573 --> 00:10:42,021
else out, but other couples
have been kind of married, and actually,

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it's not late in life. It is
the average in America. So, anyway.

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All right, all right, we'll go
ahead and go back to you guys. How

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long have you been married?

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Nine years.

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Nine years.

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00:10:56,815 --> 00:11:01,079
And, well, I wanted to point
out, you mentioned earlier, the Hales.

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00:11:01,239 --> 00:11:03,735
You've always had an older
couple and a younger couple.

145
00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:04,279
I know it.

146
00:11:04,319 --> 00:11:08,659
We're all in our 40s, but that
makes us the older couple here.

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00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:12,311
Well, again, a different
stage. A different stage in life,

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absolutely.

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00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:17,521
I didn't realize how recently
they had gotten married. We've been

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married 24 years. We met in
December of 1997.

151
00:11:21,929 --> 00:11:23,469
That's a long time.

152
00:11:23,769 --> 00:11:25,825
Yeah. We were not FaceTiming
each other.

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00:11:25,897 --> 00:11:30,040
So you were how old when you
got married? I was 21. 21 and 24.

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00:11:30,161 --> 00:11:35,281
24. Okay. All right. All
right, let's go back to you guys.

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What do y'all enjoy doing together?

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00:11:38,569 --> 00:11:42,057
Well, really, anything, I
guess. There's separate questions

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00:11:42,073 --> 00:11:44,633
about dating and things, but
one of the things we've really grown

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to love are our little mini
weekend trips. I don't know how it

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00:11:49,905 --> 00:11:54,105
started, but we try to find
the most unique or goofy little Airbnb

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we can. And just any reason to
get away from everything, even if

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00:11:57,601 --> 00:12:01,529
it's just a night or so,
that's been really great for us for

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00:12:01,569 --> 00:12:06,371
connecting. And then any kind
of new experience, like, I guess,

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00:12:06,395 --> 00:12:09,571
you know, Waco and just some
of the other places we've been. We

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00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:12,659
don't have any kind of thing
set, just any new experience together

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00:12:12,779 --> 00:12:15,251
that gets us away and where we
have to focus on each other for a

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day or two.

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00:12:17,819 --> 00:12:22,787
I think this Is the question
really is more along. And that is

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00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:26,051
answering the question. But is
there anything else that you know?

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Is there hobbies that you
enjoy doing together? Is there things

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00:12:29,035 --> 00:12:29,759
like that?

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00:12:30,219 --> 00:12:33,709
We don't really have shared
hobbies. We like fishing, although

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00:12:34,849 --> 00:12:38,665
it's rare for us to get to do
that together. That's mostly a schedule

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thing we've honestly made just
God's work is our hobby, and we try

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00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:48,921
to do as much of it together
as we can. And we haven't always

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00:12:48,945 --> 00:12:52,233
been this way, but we're
better now about whatever one of

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00:12:52,241 --> 00:12:55,033
us wants to do. We just make
it a combined thing and us thing.

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00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:56,025
And that's been helpful.

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And I see that in y'all.
Absolutely. What do y'all. What do

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00:13:01,145 --> 00:13:02,385
y'all enjoy doing together?

180
00:13:02,537 --> 00:13:03,409
Shark fishing.

181
00:13:03,489 --> 00:13:06,913
Shark fishing? Yes. If you
haven't seen the pictures on Facebook.

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00:13:07,001 --> 00:13:09,073
Yeah, go ahead and give us a
little bit of that.

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00:13:09,241 --> 00:13:12,737
But no, in all reality, kind
of back to what Steve said, that

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00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:16,865
doing it together, I think, is
a big deal. Medical missions is obviously

185
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:19,105
a hobby of ours, but it's
something that we can do together.

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00:13:19,177 --> 00:13:22,097
Even visitation on Tuesday
night is a time that we actually

187
00:13:22,153 --> 00:13:27,379
get to do something together.
We met in ministry, but it's also

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00:13:28,799 --> 00:13:31,639
things that you can do
together. It's not his hobbies or

189
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:35,095
my hobbies. It's what we enjoy
doing together. And when I married

190
00:13:35,127 --> 00:13:38,007
Phil, he had one fishing pole,
this little bitty, tiny. I don't

191
00:13:38,023 --> 00:13:41,179
know that I would call it a
fishing pole. A little bass reel.

192
00:13:41,599 --> 00:13:43,751
He came from the north. I
mean, he came from Wisconsin. Well,

193
00:13:43,775 --> 00:13:44,951
they catch up their pike, the.

194
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:49,463
Ice fish up there. But my
family was huge on fishing, and so

195
00:13:49,471 --> 00:13:52,295
he learned it like my dad
taught him fishing. And now that's

196
00:13:52,327 --> 00:13:57,409
something that we enjoy doing
together, which is unusual because

197
00:13:57,449 --> 00:14:00,081
a lot of times the man doesn't
want to bend. This is my hobby. This

198
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:03,921
is what I do. But he bent for
that, and now he's fallen in love

199
00:14:03,945 --> 00:14:04,401
with it. Yeah.

200
00:14:04,425 --> 00:14:05,909
Good to see. I think he's hooked.

201
00:14:08,409 --> 00:14:11,857
And now our main goal is to
see who can outfish the other one.

202
00:14:11,913 --> 00:14:16,001
Abby's not even here. Yeah, go
ahead, Brother James, Surely you

203
00:14:16,025 --> 00:14:17,549
got some stories to tell us.

204
00:14:18,329 --> 00:14:21,649
Well, we do like traveling,
too, so we've. Obviously, we met

205
00:14:21,689 --> 00:14:26,575
traveling, and the medical
missions allows us to see new places,

206
00:14:26,687 --> 00:14:30,079
even though that maybe that's
not the goal, but we do just like

207
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:34,927
being together. And fishing is
a good excuse to be outside. I was

208
00:14:34,983 --> 00:14:38,991
born in the country, and she
was as well, you know, raised just

209
00:14:39,015 --> 00:14:42,895
living out in the country, so
just enjoying the outdoors and gives

210
00:14:42,927 --> 00:14:46,367
you a chance to sit and talk
when you're waiting for the fish

211
00:14:46,383 --> 00:14:47,119
to bite.

212
00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:51,577
I do have one thing I want to
say for those of you who saw the

213
00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:55,625
bull redfish pictures where he
posted that his was half an inch

214
00:14:55,657 --> 00:14:58,409
longer than mine. I just want
to say that I caught mine first,

215
00:14:58,449 --> 00:15:01,081
and he put it into an ice
chest where it didn't fit, so it

216
00:15:01,105 --> 00:15:05,001
had to curl up. And then he
measured it after it got nice and

217
00:15:05,025 --> 00:15:09,241
stiff. So actually, I think,
like, mine was actually longer than

218
00:15:09,265 --> 00:15:09,641
his.

219
00:15:09,745 --> 00:15:10,569
Of course. Of course.

220
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:12,073
Just putting that on public record.

221
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:19,305
Yeah, the pictures. Yeah. He
don't get the last say. I like the

222
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:23,353
picture of y'all went to the.
To the Wiggins house, or y'all went

223
00:15:23,361 --> 00:15:26,857
down to the mobile bay and
caught a big old. Was it a bull shark

224
00:15:26,873 --> 00:15:27,417
or what was that?

225
00:15:27,473 --> 00:15:29,065
It was. Yeah. His was a bull shark.

226
00:15:29,097 --> 00:15:32,921
Yeah, big old bull shark. So
pretty neat, right? So things that

227
00:15:32,945 --> 00:15:35,241
we enjoy. Would you like to
comment any more about things you

228
00:15:35,265 --> 00:15:40,393
enjoy? Good. Y'all good. Okay.
So what is your. We'll come back

229
00:15:40,401 --> 00:15:42,149
over here. What is your
favorite date night?

230
00:15:44,559 --> 00:15:48,519
So our last date night was
Saturday. We did go fishing, so.

231
00:15:48,559 --> 00:15:53,479
But we do enjoy that. But just
again, kind of spending time together

232
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,887
without the kids is very
enjoyable, especially at this stage

233
00:15:56,903 --> 00:16:01,991
of life with them being small
and needing a lot of attention. And

234
00:16:02,015 --> 00:16:06,039
I know that will change, you
know, as they get older. But we usually

235
00:16:06,119 --> 00:16:11,155
will do something like that.
Fishing, go out to eat. We like to

236
00:16:11,327 --> 00:16:16,699
get ice cream at Brahms. Big
ice cream fans. So anyway, just things

237
00:16:16,739 --> 00:16:19,787
like that, just hanging out
together. It doesn't have to be anything

238
00:16:19,963 --> 00:16:23,387
expensive fishing. You know,
we didn't spend a lot of money on.

239
00:16:23,523 --> 00:16:28,091
Initially. Initially, you got
to buy the equipment, but. But, you

240
00:16:28,115 --> 00:16:31,323
know, you can get some bait
for cheap and just go out and spend

241
00:16:31,371 --> 00:16:32,119
some time.

242
00:16:34,499 --> 00:16:39,257
I will say that when Abby was
a baby, Phil said, hey, get somebody

243
00:16:39,273 --> 00:16:43,609
to watch Abby tonight. I'm
taking you somewhere special. I still

244
00:16:43,649 --> 00:16:46,953
have the text message as
proof. So I called Sarah Leper. They

245
00:16:46,961 --> 00:16:50,281
were here at the time. And
she's like, absolutely. We went shopping.

246
00:16:50,345 --> 00:16:54,377
I got a new outfit. I curled
my hair. I put on makeup and earrings,

247
00:16:54,393 --> 00:16:58,857
which was unusual for a mom
with a baby. And got in the car,

248
00:16:58,913 --> 00:17:04,265
and we pulled up to the
bowling alley. So his idea of a special

249
00:17:04,337 --> 00:17:07,557
date night was slightly
different than mine. To make matters

250
00:17:07,573 --> 00:17:11,557
worse, I had already broken my
wrist and was in a wrist brace. But

251
00:17:11,693 --> 00:17:12,729
he tried.

252
00:17:13,629 --> 00:17:17,129
That sounds right to me. I
mean, special night. Go bowling.

253
00:17:19,309 --> 00:17:22,565
Date nights. Let you guys
answer first. What favorite date

254
00:17:22,597 --> 00:17:26,789
Night. Well, I think it
depends on the season of life. We

255
00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:28,821
think we've gone through
phases of different things that we

256
00:17:28,845 --> 00:17:31,445
like, you know, sometimes
we're trying to do things to save

257
00:17:31,477 --> 00:17:35,699
money. Sometimes we're trying
to do things during the day because

258
00:17:35,739 --> 00:17:40,979
we're too tired at night and
we run out of steam. I think most

259
00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:45,283
recently we spend a lot of
time doing brunches. That tends to

260
00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:48,387
be, you know, a lot of times
it's around a meal, but we like having

261
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:52,579
a brunch. It seems like
there's less people and we're not

262
00:17:52,619 --> 00:17:56,931
necessarily into big crowds or
whatever, so. But we get to kind

263
00:17:56,955 --> 00:18:02,483
of, I don't know, powwow. And
it's almost like a little couples

264
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:08,061
meeting and I don't know, I'm
always got an agenda. So he's more

265
00:18:08,085 --> 00:18:12,205
the laid back and I'm more of
a planner. I know, surprising. But

266
00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:17,389
you know, we try to find
little things to do and we do like

267
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:24,237
ice cream. Our ice cream of
choice is Andy's. But yeah, just

268
00:18:24,293 --> 00:18:27,341
wherever we can fit it in.
Again, like he was saying earlier,

269
00:18:27,445 --> 00:18:31,295
sometimes it, you know, we
piggyback on our, our ministry hobbies.

270
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:34,975
You know, after outreach we'll
go out and have dinner or something

271
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:40,095
and you know, stuff like that.
Anything want to add? Anything?

272
00:18:40,207 --> 00:18:43,951
Not much to add. I mean we
enjoy the fancy date nights and you

273
00:18:43,975 --> 00:18:47,679
know, things like that. Reason
to get dressed up and go out. But

274
00:18:47,719 --> 00:18:50,607
honestly we don't love crowds.
We don't love, you know, there's

275
00:18:50,623 --> 00:18:55,461
a lot of places we don't go.
So honestly our brunch is been some

276
00:18:55,485 --> 00:18:59,649
of our favorite dates. Just
the laid back pace and no kids around.

277
00:19:00,109 --> 00:19:04,289
It's been really easy to
connect and just enjoy that time.

278
00:19:05,069 --> 00:19:08,789
I think it was pointed out
different stages of life as you have

279
00:19:08,829 --> 00:19:13,205
the younger kids and you're
still building a career or whatever

280
00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:17,013
it may be, whether the husband
and the wife. It doesn't take a lot

281
00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:20,581
of money to do a date night.
There's lots of options to do that.

282
00:19:20,685 --> 00:19:24,471
And date night shouldn't end.
Date night should. By that I mean

283
00:19:24,495 --> 00:19:27,143
don't end. It doesn't matter
your season of life, you should still

284
00:19:27,311 --> 00:19:32,023
have a time date night or
whatever you want to do and time

285
00:19:32,111 --> 00:19:36,439
time with your spouse. So take
that time. Date your spouse again

286
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:39,655
no matter your stage in life.
Right, Brother Clovis. So taking

287
00:19:39,727 --> 00:19:41,687
that time and brother Clovis
agrees with me.

288
00:19:41,743 --> 00:19:43,655
And it's easy once your kids reach.

289
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:47,799
Yeah, exactly. But also you
have such a wonderful church family

290
00:19:47,839 --> 00:19:51,811
here has already been named
that can watch your Kids now, they

291
00:19:51,835 --> 00:19:55,251
can. Their kids can watch
their own kids. Right. So as your

292
00:19:55,275 --> 00:19:58,919
stage in life changes, your
kids should be able to watch themselves.

293
00:19:59,419 --> 00:20:00,675
We have a sign up list.

294
00:20:00,747 --> 00:20:01,399
Yeah.

295
00:20:02,139 --> 00:20:03,747
If you need to put your name
on it. Just saying.

296
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:06,419
Yeah. So also throw in.

297
00:20:06,459 --> 00:20:09,651
We kind of turn everything
into mini dates. We haven't always

298
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:12,291
done this, but just errands
and just anything like that. If we

299
00:20:12,315 --> 00:20:12,787
can do it.

300
00:20:12,843 --> 00:20:14,147
Yeah, let's just go together.

301
00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:15,541
Just gives you a little time
to continue.

302
00:20:15,635 --> 00:20:20,129
Go to Sam's together, whatever
it takes. Yeah, yeah. So taking that

303
00:20:20,169 --> 00:20:23,949
time together, it's very,
very, very important. Date night.

304
00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:36,097
We've gotten a little date
night call. Use the Texas Texas Roadhouse

305
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:41,801
app and just order your stuff
and go pick it up, come home and

306
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:46,309
do a date night. Honestly,
when your kids are out of the house,

307
00:20:46,849 --> 00:20:53,465
whatever, you know. But
brother, I'm not going to go wait

308
00:20:53,497 --> 00:20:56,149
in line for food if I don't
have to. You know what I'm saying?

309
00:20:56,769 --> 00:21:00,889
All right. But yes, again,
taking the time I can remember, even

310
00:21:00,929 --> 00:21:06,569
as a kid, or as kid, it's not
the right word. As counseling other

311
00:21:06,609 --> 00:21:08,457
couples, and couples
especially who said, well, we don't

312
00:21:08,473 --> 00:21:11,669
have any money. And I would
say to them, you need to take a night.

313
00:21:12,209 --> 00:21:15,113
You have free babysitters.
Either it's family or it's church

314
00:21:15,161 --> 00:21:18,745
family. Take the free
babysitting and go do something.

315
00:21:18,817 --> 00:21:23,189
Go walk in the park, go get
ice cream. I mean, if you still.

316
00:21:23,489 --> 00:21:26,921
I know prices have gone up.
It's still relatively cheap to run

317
00:21:26,945 --> 00:21:31,065
to Braum's and get a sundae or
whatever the case may be. So take

318
00:21:31,137 --> 00:21:35,699
that time. All right, so good
suggestions tonight. All right, so

319
00:21:35,739 --> 00:21:37,651
we'll come back over to
James's. What is your favorite thing

320
00:21:37,675 --> 00:21:38,719
about each other?

321
00:21:40,619 --> 00:21:42,419
I don't know if I should pass
that off.

322
00:21:42,539 --> 00:21:44,719
Yeah, go ahead, brother James,
let's start this.

323
00:21:45,819 --> 00:21:51,027
It kind of goes hand in hand
with being godly. But if you know

324
00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:57,299
Rachel, she's very caring,
compassionate. She is always, if

325
00:21:57,419 --> 00:22:01,811
somebody needs help with
anything, she's usually right there

326
00:22:01,835 --> 00:22:05,411
to. To do that. So that's
something that I really, really like

327
00:22:05,435 --> 00:22:06,239
about her.

328
00:22:08,299 --> 00:22:11,907
And I would say that without
him, I couldn't do that. So it also

329
00:22:11,963 --> 00:22:16,771
goes hand in hand that if he
wasn't around to at 2 in the morning

330
00:22:16,875 --> 00:22:20,179
say, yep, I can get kids to
miss Tanya before work the next morning

331
00:22:20,219 --> 00:22:23,427
so that I can go help
somebody. Like that truly is. Again,

332
00:22:23,483 --> 00:22:27,043
it. It goes back to ministry
as a couple. If you're married, it

333
00:22:27,051 --> 00:22:30,931
should be a together thing. So
that's one thing I would Say about

334
00:22:30,955 --> 00:22:34,067
Phil is he doesn't complain
when I do have to leave in the middle

335
00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:37,859
of the night or leave him
scrambling to. But also, he parents,

336
00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:41,795
he doesn't babysit. And I
think that's super important in today's

337
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:45,651
society, probably Even more so
10 or 20 years ago, where dads were

338
00:22:45,675 --> 00:22:50,147
like, hands off. That's mom's
job. But Phil understands that he's

339
00:22:50,163 --> 00:22:53,811
a dad, and he will tell you he
doesn't babysit. He takes care of

340
00:22:53,835 --> 00:22:56,515
his children. He does what
dads are supposed to do.

341
00:22:56,587 --> 00:22:56,789
So.

342
00:22:56,819 --> 00:23:01,713
So I really do appreciate that
in a husband, that he's a partner

343
00:23:01,761 --> 00:23:04,545
with me when it comes to our
children and the weight of that doesn't

344
00:23:04,577 --> 00:23:07,601
fall on my shoulder. He
understands his role biblically in

345
00:23:07,625 --> 00:23:08,189
that.

346
00:23:08,969 --> 00:23:12,529
It's good. I remember, again,
our kids were growing up, our three

347
00:23:12,569 --> 00:23:17,617
boys. I agree. You parent as a
dad, you parent your boys when your

348
00:23:17,673 --> 00:23:21,521
wife is not there, except when
it comes to cooking. And then you

349
00:23:21,545 --> 00:23:26,169
take them to Taco Bell. So my
kids always knew if mama's going

350
00:23:26,209 --> 00:23:31,769
to a ladies meeting or mama's
going wherever, and if daddy cooks,

351
00:23:31,929 --> 00:23:35,625
Daddy cooks at Taco Bell.
That's how we cook. And they loved

352
00:23:35,657 --> 00:23:37,817
it because they had a
playground there and inside playground,

353
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:41,321
and we had a good time. So.
But yeah, I mean, just taking that

354
00:23:41,345 --> 00:23:45,177
opportunity to do that. Same
question for y'all again. What's

355
00:23:45,193 --> 00:23:46,697
your favorite thing about each other?

356
00:23:46,833 --> 00:23:49,365
Well, and this has changed
over the years, too. But my initial

357
00:23:49,397 --> 00:23:54,149
thought was it's her energy.
She will pour everything she has

358
00:23:54,189 --> 00:23:59,445
into whatever she's doing
until she collapses. But specifically

359
00:23:59,477 --> 00:24:01,749
for our marriage and our
family, just that she takes that

360
00:24:01,789 --> 00:24:05,301
same energy and we'll give
everything she's got just to make

361
00:24:05,325 --> 00:24:11,749
us better. And then as we've
gotten older, our shared vision for

362
00:24:11,789 --> 00:24:15,105
our marriage and our family
has really become one. And that wasn't

363
00:24:15,137 --> 00:24:18,801
always the case, but it really
makes everything work better.

364
00:24:18,905 --> 00:24:24,561
Yeah. So as you get older, it
begins to become more together as

365
00:24:24,585 --> 00:24:27,153
far as where we're headed and
what we're doing. Yeah, for sure.

366
00:24:27,321 --> 00:24:31,041
I would say the things that I
enjoy the most about him are the

367
00:24:31,065 --> 00:24:35,729
things that balance me out.
You know, he's a really funny guy,

368
00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:42,459
and I tend to be too serious,
and so it's nice to have that. That

369
00:24:44,039 --> 00:24:48,959
laid back side. He's also
really, really empathetic and really

370
00:24:48,999 --> 00:24:53,151
caring and really nurturing of
those around him. And that's something

371
00:24:53,175 --> 00:24:57,711
that a lot of people don't get
to see. But, you know, he kind of

372
00:24:57,815 --> 00:25:02,351
takes it upon himself to go to
the grocery store or prep meals for

373
00:25:02,375 --> 00:25:05,039
the kids because they're
complaining that there's not enough

374
00:25:05,079 --> 00:25:11,935
stuff around the house. Or,
you know, and it's. We're a team

375
00:25:12,087 --> 00:25:18,847
in a lot of ways. And he's a
great balance. There were seasons

376
00:25:18,863 --> 00:25:25,215
in life where I did a lot of
the cooking or the grocery shopping.

377
00:25:25,247 --> 00:25:30,879
Now we go grocery shopping
together. And all of the things that

378
00:25:30,999 --> 00:25:36,581
he compliments me on, I think
is what I enjoy most about him. I

379
00:25:36,605 --> 00:25:40,325
do think as time goes on, you
begin again. It becomes a shared

380
00:25:40,357 --> 00:25:44,885
vision, and you start doing
for the other what the others would

381
00:25:44,957 --> 00:25:49,253
want and vice versa. And I
know again, when we were raising

382
00:25:49,301 --> 00:25:52,533
our boys, we found ourselves.
I found myself doing the grocery

383
00:25:52,581 --> 00:25:57,733
shopping, and it was just
easier for me to go do it than her.

384
00:25:57,901 --> 00:26:01,269
And so I got really good at
going to Sam's. I mean, like, really,

385
00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:04,881
really good. I knew where
everything was at. Almost like, I

386
00:26:04,905 --> 00:26:07,985
know Home Depot. I know Home
Depot better. But I knew Sam's pretty

387
00:26:08,017 --> 00:26:12,529
good. And so I think that's
another thing, is that shared and

388
00:26:12,569 --> 00:26:17,249
sharing in those things as
time goes on. And this is always

389
00:26:17,289 --> 00:26:20,161
a good one. Let's start back
over the lungs. What is the worst

390
00:26:20,225 --> 00:26:31,227
gift you've ever gotten for
each other? So I'd say there was

391
00:26:31,283 --> 00:26:37,643
one time for an anniversary
that I was trying to be inexpensive.

392
00:26:37,691 --> 00:26:42,795
So our anniversary. So this is
pointing out my own fault. Not necessarily

393
00:26:42,827 --> 00:26:46,959
something from him, but our
anniversary is in January, so it's

394
00:26:48,179 --> 00:26:52,555
right after Christmas. And
Will's birthday is within a couple

395
00:26:52,587 --> 00:26:56,091
of days of our anniversary,
too. So our anniversary tends to

396
00:26:56,115 --> 00:27:01,447
get pushed to the side a
little bit. And it was also early

397
00:27:01,503 --> 00:27:04,615
on and trying to be cheap
because, you know, we. We didn't

398
00:27:04,647 --> 00:27:07,619
have a whole lot of money
starting off. We got married young.

399
00:27:08,719 --> 00:27:12,679
Anyway, I. So I was angling
for a free pool table, and I thought

400
00:27:12,719 --> 00:27:15,367
that that would just, you
know, that would be really great.

401
00:27:15,423 --> 00:27:18,775
Well, it didn't pan out, and I
didn't end up with the free pool

402
00:27:18,807 --> 00:27:21,639
table. And even though I
explained, you know, this is something

403
00:27:21,679 --> 00:27:24,455
that we like to do, and this
is going to be an anniversary present

404
00:27:24,527 --> 00:27:27,461
because this is stuff that we
like to do together. He's like, you

405
00:27:27,485 --> 00:27:32,549
got me nothing. So that was.
That was the worst gift. It's just

406
00:27:32,589 --> 00:27:36,357
the nothingness. Yeah, it's a
thought that counts, though. It's

407
00:27:36,373 --> 00:27:37,269
a thought that counts.

408
00:27:37,349 --> 00:27:42,821
Not the only time I got
nothing, but so the worst. And I

409
00:27:42,845 --> 00:27:46,101
feel bad, but it was an
anniversary, and I don't know which

410
00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:50,421
one, probably six or seven,
just because of the volume. What

411
00:27:50,445 --> 00:27:54,849
I remember, she was so
excited. And she just couldn't be

412
00:27:54,889 --> 00:27:57,601
more happy and took me, I
think it was in the hallway, and

413
00:27:57,625 --> 00:28:03,441
she had lined up like seven
bouquets of flowers for me for our

414
00:28:03,465 --> 00:28:08,033
anniversary, one for each year
we'd been married. And I thought.

415
00:28:08,121 --> 00:28:11,329
I wasn't sure if it was a joke
or I just didn't understand it. But

416
00:28:11,369 --> 00:28:14,657
she couldn't have been more
excited, and I was just flabbergasted.

417
00:28:14,673 --> 00:28:18,703
I had no idea how to take
that. And I probably did not have

418
00:28:18,711 --> 00:28:21,727
a very good poker face about
it, but I still don't understand

419
00:28:21,783 --> 00:28:24,111
it. But she was sweet and she
was trying, and it meant something

420
00:28:24,135 --> 00:28:26,139
to her. It meant nothing to me.

421
00:28:27,159 --> 00:28:33,499
It's a good one. She wants you
to start.

422
00:28:36,199 --> 00:28:42,111
So I don't really remember a
bad gift or a good one. Yeah, we

423
00:28:42,135 --> 00:28:46,341
don't do a lot of gift giving,
and I'm. I'm really bad at giving

424
00:28:46,405 --> 00:28:50,101
gifts. So her answer should be
nothing, because I'm sure she got

425
00:28:50,125 --> 00:28:53,849
that a few times. But no, I
don't really remember a bad gift,

426
00:28:55,069 --> 00:29:01,125
but there wasn't anything real
memorable. Now we usually. What we'll

427
00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:05,413
do if one of us wants
something bigger, we'll kind of discuss

428
00:29:05,501 --> 00:29:10,645
it and just kind of buy it
mutually. And that may cover a couple

429
00:29:10,677 --> 00:29:14,199
holidays if it's something
bigger. So. But no, I don't really

430
00:29:14,239 --> 00:29:16,579
remember anything bad that I got.

431
00:29:20,879 --> 00:29:27,111
It wasn't bad as in too bad.
He tried. He tried really hard on

432
00:29:27,135 --> 00:29:31,191
a couple different occasions.
One, he bought a custom sign for

433
00:29:31,215 --> 00:29:33,607
our house that says
established, you know, in the whole,

434
00:29:33,703 --> 00:29:40,229
like Texas and James family,
Phil, Rachel and Abby. Except I was

435
00:29:40,269 --> 00:29:45,301
expecting Eddie, so that name
is still missing in our house. The

436
00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:49,445
other is this Mother's Day
ring that he ordered for me for Mother's

437
00:29:49,477 --> 00:29:54,805
Day from China. And it didn't
come for several months after Mother's

438
00:29:54,837 --> 00:29:58,849
Day. And when it arrived, he
got the kids birthdays mixed up.

439
00:29:59,309 --> 00:30:03,765
So my ring is backward. Abby's
birthday has Eddie Stone, and Eddie's

440
00:30:03,797 --> 00:30:07,961
birthday has Abby Stone. But
other than that, that's not bad at

441
00:30:07,985 --> 00:30:12,649
all. Yeah, he doesn't. Phil is
not a gift giver. And that's okay

442
00:30:12,729 --> 00:30:15,897
because if I want something,
we literally just talk about it.

443
00:30:15,953 --> 00:30:19,529
So my last request was
actually a shark fishing reel, which

444
00:30:19,569 --> 00:30:23,257
I got. But. And that was. That
should span a couple different birthdays

445
00:30:23,273 --> 00:30:25,309
and anniversaries and Christmases.

446
00:30:25,969 --> 00:30:29,269
And I think that also would
have to do with being a little more.

447
00:30:30,049 --> 00:30:31,487
Put it this way, a little. A little.

448
00:30:31,593 --> 00:30:33,331
Little older, old and more mature.

449
00:30:33,395 --> 00:30:36,851
That's it exactly. Because I
can tell you Y'all have heard our

450
00:30:36,875 --> 00:30:40,371
story a thousand times. But my
worst gift I ever gave her. We had

451
00:30:40,395 --> 00:30:43,619
just gotten married, and it
was like, the second year or third

452
00:30:43,659 --> 00:30:45,747
year. I don't remember. It was
Christmas. I don't even remember

453
00:30:45,763 --> 00:30:50,579
what it was. All I remember.
Huh, the sweats. The sweatsuit. Yeah.

454
00:30:50,579 --> 00:30:53,479
I was like, first Christmas,
wasn't it? Yeah, first Christmas.

455
00:30:53,899 --> 00:30:59,385
Okay, well, anyway, she'll
correct me until this is almost over.

456
00:30:59,457 --> 00:31:04,249
Anyway, so it was a second or
third year, whatever it was. I got

457
00:31:04,289 --> 00:31:09,929
her a sweatsuit. It was green,
except the green wasn't the same.

458
00:31:09,969 --> 00:31:14,169
Green for the top and the
bottom. I went to what back then

459
00:31:14,209 --> 00:31:17,881
would be kind of the
equivalent of a Dollar General. What

460
00:31:17,905 --> 00:31:21,145
was the name of that plane? I
don't remember, but it was in downtown

461
00:31:21,177 --> 00:31:25,445
Nakona in one of the old
downtown stores. And, yeah, it didn't

462
00:31:25,477 --> 00:31:30,021
go well. I would like to add,
you know, both of our stories involved

463
00:31:30,085 --> 00:31:36,661
my bad gift giving, but he's
not innocent and all of that. There

464
00:31:36,685 --> 00:31:40,357
was one year, and I don't even
remember what the occasion was, but,

465
00:31:40,493 --> 00:31:43,605
you know, we've talked about.
We try to have the same hobbies.

466
00:31:43,717 --> 00:31:46,709
Well, he was. He had convinced
himself that he was going to take

467
00:31:46,749 --> 00:31:52,071
up guitar, and so therefore,
it should be my hobby, too. But I

468
00:31:52,095 --> 00:31:55,479
was not so convinced in that.
And I even told him I was like, I

469
00:31:55,519 --> 00:32:01,191
am too old to be starting to
learn a new. A new guitar now. This

470
00:32:01,215 --> 00:32:04,279
must have been, like, 20 years
ago. So even at the time, I was like,

471
00:32:04,319 --> 00:32:09,095
no, I'm not. I'm not picking
up a new instrument at my age. So.

472
00:32:09,167 --> 00:32:12,551
But for what? Whatever might
have been an anniversary. He. He

473
00:32:12,575 --> 00:32:24,195
gifted me a guitar. Sounds
reasonable to me. All right. Everybody

474
00:32:24,227 --> 00:32:28,371
would have a funny story, no
doubt. What is something. We'll go

475
00:32:28,395 --> 00:32:31,075
back over here. What is
something you have grown to appreciate

476
00:32:31,107 --> 00:32:34,451
about your spouse after being
married for a little while? And it

477
00:32:34,475 --> 00:32:35,203
says on the.

478
00:32:35,291 --> 00:32:38,643
The original question says for
several decades, and we've been alive

479
00:32:38,691 --> 00:32:41,347
for several decades, but we
have not been married for several

480
00:32:41,403 --> 00:32:47,907
decades. I would say the more
I'm around others and seeing other

481
00:32:47,963 --> 00:32:52,931
marriages and that haven't
worked out, like, outside of our

482
00:32:52,955 --> 00:32:57,011
church family, obviously, is
that Phil puts a priority on where

483
00:32:57,035 --> 00:33:00,899
the priority should be. He
puts a priority on his church and

484
00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:04,771
on his family, obviously on
his job, but his job falls down in

485
00:33:04,795 --> 00:33:08,345
that list and his church and
Christ is above that list. And I've

486
00:33:08,377 --> 00:33:11,961
really grown to appreciate the
fact that he instills that into our

487
00:33:11,985 --> 00:33:14,869
children and he shows them
what's important there.

488
00:33:20,049 --> 00:33:23,657
Just kind of going along with
that. Yeah. You see a lot of marriages

489
00:33:23,753 --> 00:33:31,209
not lasting. And so Rachel's
dedication, you know, obviously being

490
00:33:31,249 --> 00:33:35,123
transparent. Everybody has
issues in their marriage and problems

491
00:33:35,171 --> 00:33:38,675
and, you know, disagreements
and things like that. But that's

492
00:33:38,707 --> 00:33:42,755
not a make or break it like
some people do and throw in the towel

493
00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:46,579
and say, hey, that's, you
know, that's it. So just her dedication

494
00:33:46,659 --> 00:33:52,115
and love for God, just. Just
sticking with me and my faults.

495
00:33:52,227 --> 00:33:55,971
So again, it's not about
walking out. It's about working it

496
00:33:55,995 --> 00:33:58,979
out. Marriage is. Marriage is
work. It really is. If you're going

497
00:33:59,019 --> 00:34:01,779
to have a good marriage, you
have to work at it.

498
00:34:02,639 --> 00:34:06,151
Well, like the question
mentions, we have been married for

499
00:34:06,175 --> 00:34:10,263
decades, and it's kind of what
I've already mentioned, but it's.

500
00:34:10,311 --> 00:34:14,711
It's that level of oneness we
have where her vision is my vision

501
00:34:14,775 --> 00:34:19,831
and just the focus on. And
again, we weren't always as good

502
00:34:19,855 --> 00:34:23,031
about this, but, you know, her
primary focus is the marriage and

503
00:34:23,055 --> 00:34:26,801
the family. And, you know, and
we're always striving for that. But

504
00:34:26,825 --> 00:34:31,057
that's. I don't know if it's
just age or just, you know, decades

505
00:34:31,073 --> 00:34:33,393
of working on this, but that's
what I appreciate the most right

506
00:34:33,401 --> 00:34:33,617
now.

507
00:34:33,673 --> 00:34:36,449
Right. But that's the way it
should work. I mean, it should work

508
00:34:36,489 --> 00:34:39,281
that way as you work on your
marriage. It should. You should get

509
00:34:39,305 --> 00:34:44,881
closer as time goes on, not
farther apart. And I would say the

510
00:34:44,905 --> 00:34:47,409
thing that I've grown to
appreciate, you know, like I said

511
00:34:47,449 --> 00:34:51,189
growing up, I grew up in a
Catholic family, not necessarily

512
00:34:51,769 --> 00:34:57,585
in the Bible or teaching what
a good godly home looks like. I'm

513
00:34:57,617 --> 00:35:02,513
not saying that they weren't.
That we didn't worship or whatever,

514
00:35:02,561 --> 00:35:07,473
but I wasn't raised to
appreciate or understand what qualities

515
00:35:07,521 --> 00:35:12,129
to look for in a husband. And
so to see the way that he leads our

516
00:35:12,169 --> 00:35:19,669
family and in a godly way,
it's definitely been something that

517
00:35:20,049 --> 00:35:24,841
I appreciate. And I got lucky
in that regard because that's not

518
00:35:24,865 --> 00:35:33,705
something I was looking for
when I was younger. Very good. Establishing

519
00:35:33,897 --> 00:35:36,109
a family altar. Brother James.

520
00:35:36,529 --> 00:35:41,321
Yeah, so it's been mentioned
last few years, but I agree with

521
00:35:41,345 --> 00:35:46,979
what was said. It's just
keeping with it. I think every year

522
00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:50,211
it's been mentioned where
there's been a lapse and, oh, no,

523
00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:53,987
we gotta start that again. So
the family devotions, you just gotta

524
00:35:54,083 --> 00:35:59,475
keep starting it. And of
course, as the kids get older, there's

525
00:35:59,507 --> 00:36:04,051
gonna be other things that
come up. And so having just a specific

526
00:36:04,115 --> 00:36:08,595
routine or a specific time
when you do that. When I was growing

527
00:36:08,627 --> 00:36:13,059
Up. It was always around
dinner time because that's when the

528
00:36:13,099 --> 00:36:16,707
family was there. And so
that's when we've done it. Seems

529
00:36:16,723 --> 00:36:21,075
to work best. But, yeah, just.
Just sticking with it because it's

530
00:36:21,107 --> 00:36:24,115
easy to say, oh, well, we
missed, you know, missed a couple

531
00:36:24,147 --> 00:36:28,739
days, couple weeks, but just,
you know, starting it up again. And

532
00:36:28,779 --> 00:36:32,323
kids are pretty forgiving.
They. They know, oh, yeah, let's.

533
00:36:32,371 --> 00:36:34,851
Let's start that again. And
they're usually on board with it,

534
00:36:34,955 --> 00:36:36,663
so at least at this age.

535
00:36:36,811 --> 00:36:41,019
No, they were. And I believe
that my sons would testify as we

536
00:36:41,399 --> 00:36:43,311
would go a little while
without it, then we pick it back

537
00:36:43,335 --> 00:36:48,079
up, go a little while without,
pick it back up. And it's just with

538
00:36:48,119 --> 00:36:50,703
our schedules the way they
are, you just got to keep trying,

539
00:36:50,791 --> 00:36:51,711
keep going.

540
00:36:51,895 --> 00:36:56,639
For us, practically speaking,
what matters is keeping it simple,

541
00:36:56,799 --> 00:37:00,431
keeping it convenient, and
keeping it interactive. When I first

542
00:37:00,455 --> 00:37:04,813
started trying to do
devotions, I would. I'd end up basically

543
00:37:04,861 --> 00:37:07,613
preparing a sermon, and it
would come across preachy, and it

544
00:37:07,621 --> 00:37:11,933
would take an hour, and it was
just. Which would also make it easy

545
00:37:11,981 --> 00:37:16,249
to, you know, not be prepared,
but became too big a thing. And so,

546
00:37:17,109 --> 00:37:20,381
you know, we're rarely
together except maybe at dinner time.

547
00:37:20,485 --> 00:37:24,877
And so that's the convenient
time. Using the little devotionals

548
00:37:24,893 --> 00:37:26,893
we have back here. I don't
love those, and a lot of times I

549
00:37:26,901 --> 00:37:30,011
don't love them when I open it
to it, but it gives us a place where

550
00:37:30,035 --> 00:37:32,731
there's always something
there. There's a verse or a thought

551
00:37:32,755 --> 00:37:36,107
or something we can go with.
So if I haven't prepared, there's

552
00:37:36,123 --> 00:37:39,931
nothing on my heart. We keep
those on our dinner table. And, you

553
00:37:39,955 --> 00:37:42,219
know, we probably fail more
than we succeed, but they're there,

554
00:37:42,259 --> 00:37:46,027
and we can see them, and any
of us remembers it. You know, I'll

555
00:37:46,043 --> 00:37:49,739
do that. And then the
interactive. If I end up just talking

556
00:37:49,899 --> 00:37:53,499
the whole time, I see the
faces glaze over, but we go around

557
00:37:53,539 --> 00:37:56,871
and kind of talk about a verse
or whatever it is, and it seems to

558
00:37:56,895 --> 00:37:59,431
really help everyone get
something out of it.

559
00:37:59,615 --> 00:38:05,751
And then I've. Growing up with
my dad, it was breakfast. Dad would

560
00:38:05,775 --> 00:38:09,511
get up, cook breakfast. Before
we went to school, we had devotion

561
00:38:09,575 --> 00:38:13,383
time. The little devotional
called Daily Bread. Some of y'all

562
00:38:13,431 --> 00:38:17,991
remember that before it went
another version of the Bible, it

563
00:38:18,015 --> 00:38:21,575
used to be King James, and he
would do that, and we'd all pray

564
00:38:21,607 --> 00:38:24,529
together. And so that's kind
of what we did with our boys, too,

565
00:38:24,569 --> 00:38:28,609
growing up again, as we
continue to try to implement it over

566
00:38:28,649 --> 00:38:33,969
and over and over again and
keep it simple. That is the key.

567
00:38:34,089 --> 00:38:38,161
Keep it simple. If you over
complicate it, if you make it too

568
00:38:38,185 --> 00:38:42,913
long, you'll find that you
won't be as consistent. And so we

569
00:38:42,921 --> 00:38:45,361
did the same thing as our kids
got older, especially. We just took

570
00:38:45,385 --> 00:38:49,323
one of the devotionals.
There's plenty of them back there

571
00:38:49,331 --> 00:38:52,651
in the bookstore. There's
plenty. The Paul Chapel or Brother

572
00:38:52,715 --> 00:38:56,159
Sexton or there's one back
there. Used to be one from Dr. Barber.

573
00:38:56,819 --> 00:38:59,595
You can take those
devotionals. They have a nice scripture

574
00:38:59,627 --> 00:39:03,995
to read and a thought for the
day, and to do that would be a blessing.

575
00:39:04,027 --> 00:39:08,331
Do not take and try to do an
hour devotional with your kids. You

576
00:39:08,355 --> 00:39:11,467
know, just over time, you're
going to find yourself burning out

577
00:39:11,523 --> 00:39:16,219
on that. But it is good to try
to continue. It's one of the things

578
00:39:16,259 --> 00:39:20,715
the devil fights. He fights
it. Just keep trying. Start it over.

579
00:39:20,787 --> 00:39:23,819
If you got to start it over
every month. If you go a month without

580
00:39:23,859 --> 00:39:26,811
it, start it back up again.
Maybe go two months without it, start

581
00:39:26,835 --> 00:39:30,651
it back up again, and just
keep. Keep going. Okay. All right.

582
00:39:30,755 --> 00:39:34,619
And I would like to add, too,
we actually do a couple's devotion

583
00:39:34,699 --> 00:39:37,771
when. When the time or the
occasion comes to it. There's one

584
00:39:37,795 --> 00:39:41,925
in the. In the bookstore that
we really enjoyed. Gary. Gary Chapman.

585
00:39:41,957 --> 00:39:45,493
Is that. Yes, the Love
Language one? Yeah, the Love Language

586
00:39:45,541 --> 00:39:49,221
one. It's. It's not always
kjv, but we, you know, we look up

587
00:39:49,245 --> 00:39:54,341
the. The. The KJV version, and
it's. It's been really interesting

588
00:39:54,405 --> 00:39:58,469
to see how many times that.
That was so, well, fitting for that

589
00:39:58,509 --> 00:40:02,341
day. You know, we'll flip to
whatever day we're looking at it,

590
00:40:02,365 --> 00:40:07,765
and it's. It's really been. It
really hits home every time. So we've

591
00:40:07,797 --> 00:40:13,049
really enjoyed that one. Yeah,
so that. That's one I specifically.

592
00:40:13,389 --> 00:40:16,149
Specifically put in the
bookstore, was given to me years

593
00:40:16,189 --> 00:40:19,861
ago on the Love Language.
Again, it's not King James, but we

594
00:40:19,885 --> 00:40:23,685
can get past that. And then
another thing you can do as a couple

595
00:40:23,717 --> 00:40:26,613
is you can actually read a
book together. Like brother Webby

596
00:40:26,661 --> 00:40:29,461
mentioned the book Love and
Respect. That's a great book. And

597
00:40:29,485 --> 00:40:32,373
what you can do is you can
read a few pages each night together

598
00:40:32,541 --> 00:40:36,241
and have a devotional together
like that, too, so encourage you

599
00:40:36,265 --> 00:40:43,729
in that way. Okay. All right,
we'll come back over to y'all. The

600
00:40:43,769 --> 00:40:47,601
Luns, how do you. How do you
help each other through trials, through

601
00:40:47,625 --> 00:40:48,789
life's trials?

602
00:40:50,569 --> 00:40:53,985
Well, I guess just
communication, just being able to

603
00:40:54,057 --> 00:41:00,241
really bear everything to each
other. If she knows every fear I

604
00:41:00,265 --> 00:41:03,731
have Every know, every emotion
I'm dealing with, then we can really

605
00:41:03,755 --> 00:41:07,491
take it on together and then
pray together and just help each

606
00:41:07,515 --> 00:41:08,239
other through.

607
00:41:10,379 --> 00:41:15,267
And I'd like to chime in, say,
for a man, that's so important because

608
00:41:15,323 --> 00:41:18,819
men generally don't do that
and don't completely open up to their

609
00:41:18,859 --> 00:41:19,347
spouse.

610
00:41:19,443 --> 00:41:20,355
It took 20 years.

611
00:41:20,427 --> 00:41:24,679
Yeah, it takes 20. Takes a
while. But opening up of your fears,

612
00:41:25,259 --> 00:41:29,541
the trials that you're facing,
so important. Yeah, I definitely

613
00:41:29,605 --> 00:41:35,541
feel like we've come a long
way in that you have to learn how

614
00:41:35,565 --> 00:41:40,501
to speak to one another. In
fact, we actually went through the

615
00:41:40,525 --> 00:41:46,613
love languages book and how we
each receive love and how we communicate

616
00:41:46,661 --> 00:41:51,941
that or give or communicate,
and learning how to speak to one

617
00:41:51,965 --> 00:41:57,303
another, I think was really
important. I tend to be really direct,

618
00:41:57,391 --> 00:42:01,287
and he tends to be really
emotional, and just being able to

619
00:42:01,343 --> 00:42:06,039
speak to one another on each
other's level was definitely something

620
00:42:06,079 --> 00:42:11,175
that took us a while, but it
makes a big difference. I think reading

621
00:42:11,207 --> 00:42:16,055
that book will help you kind
of identify not only your love language,

622
00:42:16,087 --> 00:42:20,583
but kind of the personality
traits and be able to understand

623
00:42:20,671 --> 00:42:24,511
your spouse better. When you
do face those trials and why you

624
00:42:24,535 --> 00:42:28,031
do have. It is amazing how
opposites do attract and you end

625
00:42:28,055 --> 00:42:33,503
up with one who's more. You
know, And I can see that here very.

626
00:42:33,591 --> 00:42:36,207
And I can see that here very.
And y'all can see that in my wife

627
00:42:36,223 --> 00:42:39,631
and I. I mean, it's. It. I
could go through every marriage and

628
00:42:39,655 --> 00:42:44,127
show you nearly every one of
them how that you marry someone who

629
00:42:44,183 --> 00:42:47,599
completes you. That's the
whole point. He said, I've made you

630
00:42:47,639 --> 00:42:52,479
a helpmate, someone who
completes you. And so. Such a great

631
00:42:52,519 --> 00:42:54,419
point. Okay, go ahead. Sorry.

632
00:42:55,479 --> 00:42:59,471
So, yeah, kind of going along
what brother Steve said, but the

633
00:42:59,495 --> 00:43:04,543
big thing for me is listening
to the. Whatever the problem is,

634
00:43:04,711 --> 00:43:08,335
because at least for me,
sometimes you. You're listening,

635
00:43:08,367 --> 00:43:10,895
but you're not really
listening. And so just understanding

636
00:43:10,927 --> 00:43:16,025
that and kind of putting away
the distractions and just focusing

637
00:43:16,057 --> 00:43:20,185
on that problem. And, you
know, as men, most of the time, we're

638
00:43:20,217 --> 00:43:24,489
not as compassionate as women
are. So putting yourself in their

639
00:43:24,529 --> 00:43:30,393
place and again, praying once
you know the need and you're listening,

640
00:43:30,521 --> 00:43:35,545
praying specifically for that
and encouraging, you know, encouraging

641
00:43:35,577 --> 00:43:38,217
her through the day. Hey,
praying for you. You know, you've

642
00:43:38,233 --> 00:43:42,929
got this going on. Just
acknowledging that really helps me

643
00:43:42,969 --> 00:43:48,529
when I get a message from her
saying that she's praying for me

644
00:43:48,569 --> 00:43:50,749
and something that I'm going
through that day.

645
00:43:53,689 --> 00:43:56,513
I'm sorry, what was the
question? I want to make sure I'm

646
00:43:56,561 --> 00:43:56,865
answering.

647
00:43:56,897 --> 00:44:00,577
That how do you help each
other going through life's trials?

648
00:44:00,673 --> 00:44:04,609
I would say being present,
it's easy for us to have. He has

649
00:44:04,649 --> 00:44:07,751
his career and I have my
career and I have everything else

650
00:44:07,865 --> 00:44:10,827
going on and he has a lot on
his plate. But yet when it comes

651
00:44:10,883 --> 00:44:16,011
down to there's a critical
doctor's appointment or there's your

652
00:44:16,035 --> 00:44:19,159
dad is on his deathbed. We've
been through a lot in the past year

653
00:44:19,859 --> 00:44:24,651
and we did get married later
in life. I was 30, he was 33. And

654
00:44:24,675 --> 00:44:27,691
we went through things not
necessarily on our own because we

655
00:44:27,715 --> 00:44:30,603
each had our church family and
we each had our personal families.

656
00:44:30,731 --> 00:44:33,819
But it is different when you
have a spouse that you can walk through

657
00:44:33,859 --> 00:44:36,699
that together and you can talk
through those emotions and those

658
00:44:36,739 --> 00:44:43,869
feelings. But being present,
not just physically present, but

659
00:44:43,909 --> 00:44:46,989
actually aware of what is
going on in the other person's life,

660
00:44:47,029 --> 00:44:50,221
I think makes a big deal. And
then like Phil said, we try to make

661
00:44:50,245 --> 00:44:54,013
it a habit of sending each
other an email. He gets up way earlier

662
00:44:54,101 --> 00:44:57,533
than I do because I work way
later than he does at night. So we

663
00:44:57,541 --> 00:44:59,901
don't always see each other in
the mornings. We rarely see each

664
00:44:59,925 --> 00:45:03,613
other in the mornings. But
I'll wake up to an email or as soon

665
00:45:03,621 --> 00:45:06,221
as I know he's at work, a text
message, just something to help us

666
00:45:06,245 --> 00:45:09,499
connect early, early in the
day so that those lines of communication

667
00:45:09,579 --> 00:45:12,299
stay open for the whole day.
So that when something does come

668
00:45:12,339 --> 00:45:15,611
up and something hard happens
in the day, the first person that

669
00:45:15,635 --> 00:45:19,819
I want to message or call is
Phil. Because I do know that that

670
00:45:19,859 --> 00:45:22,559
text or that email, hey, I'm
praying for you today is true.

671
00:45:23,619 --> 00:45:29,099
I think too. Listening to the
James's, I'm reminded of again, other

672
00:45:29,139 --> 00:45:33,381
couples I deal with who've
been married really again, not late

673
00:45:33,405 --> 00:45:37,525
in life, it's the average in
America. But one thing that happens

674
00:45:37,557 --> 00:45:41,109
is because you have your
individual lives before you get married

675
00:45:41,189 --> 00:45:44,549
and you've been independent,
you already had good jobs and you

676
00:45:44,589 --> 00:45:46,997
already had your own bank
accounts and you know, I'm talking

677
00:45:47,013 --> 00:45:51,269
about you had an established
life when you got married. Then trying

678
00:45:51,309 --> 00:45:55,413
to, you know, again, weave
that together is more of a challenge

679
00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:57,669
sometimes. And so he went from
a three.

680
00:45:57,709 --> 00:46:00,197
Bedroom, two bath house and I
went from a three bedroom, two bath

681
00:46:00,213 --> 00:46:04,481
House to a 800 square foot
apartment when we got married and

682
00:46:04,505 --> 00:46:07,729
we learned really early on
that it was best if I cooked before

683
00:46:07,769 --> 00:46:09,953
he got home. So if he was
coming home at 2 in the afternoon,

684
00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:13,201
supper was already done
because it wasn't going to work if

685
00:46:13,225 --> 00:46:15,969
we were in the kitchen
together. Thankfully, after nine

686
00:46:16,009 --> 00:46:19,745
years. Now he just before
church, as I was cooking, I stepped

687
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:23,361
over him as he was working on
the sink. So it does get easier as

688
00:46:23,385 --> 00:46:26,001
you learn to again,
communicate. And I can say to him,

689
00:46:26,025 --> 00:46:30,043
you are in my way. And he
doesn't take offense to that. So

690
00:46:30,051 --> 00:46:31,099
it has improved a lot.

691
00:46:31,139 --> 00:46:34,699
But I think you guys can help
and be an example to those who have

692
00:46:34,739 --> 00:46:38,331
and who deal with those issues
of being married a little later and

693
00:46:38,355 --> 00:46:40,795
already having independent
lives. Like I said, having two houses.

694
00:46:40,827 --> 00:46:44,075
I've seen that happen many,
many times where a young couple has

695
00:46:44,147 --> 00:46:47,275
the two houses and we got to
sell one of them and all the things

696
00:46:47,347 --> 00:46:48,427
that go into that.

697
00:46:48,563 --> 00:46:52,827
But immediately on December 5,
2015, it became ours. It wasn't too

698
00:46:52,883 --> 00:46:56,603
separate, like instantly,
everything was combined into one.

699
00:46:56,771 --> 00:46:58,271
And I don't think it would
worked otherw.

700
00:46:58,395 --> 00:47:01,927
Right. I believe that when the
Bible says that two become one, that's

701
00:47:01,943 --> 00:47:05,095
what it means. It means your
bank accounts become one. I don't

702
00:47:05,127 --> 00:47:07,607
believe that a married couple
ought to have separate bank accounts.

703
00:47:07,703 --> 00:47:09,991
I don't think married couples
ought to have separate credit cards.

704
00:47:10,055 --> 00:47:13,687
In fact, I don't believe that
because it's not biblical. Everything's

705
00:47:13,703 --> 00:47:17,303
together. It's either all or
it's not. You know, we're together.

706
00:47:17,471 --> 00:47:21,543
And so I've seen divorced
couples after they have divorced

707
00:47:21,591 --> 00:47:23,783
and then they get remarried,
they say, well, I've been through

708
00:47:23,791 --> 00:47:26,627
this before. I'm going to keep
things separate. And I'm just telling

709
00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:29,571
you, that's not Bible. That's
not what you should do. It should

710
00:47:29,595 --> 00:47:34,579
be together. We're one. Amen.
And I appreciate what a great example

711
00:47:34,739 --> 00:47:36,771
we have up here. Not that we
don't have a great example of that

712
00:47:36,795 --> 00:47:40,159
over here, but married young,
you know, you didn't know any better.

713
00:47:40,539 --> 00:47:48,051
All right, I'm almost done.
We'll go ahead and go back to you

714
00:47:48,075 --> 00:47:53,669
guys. Tell us the importance
of prioritizing church family.

715
00:47:53,789 --> 00:47:56,581
Well, I can get really
passionate about this one. So in

716
00:47:56,605 --> 00:48:00,213
24 years, we have not always
kept God at the center of our marriage

717
00:48:00,341 --> 00:48:03,285
or our family. And I'll tell
you, even when you think you're moral

718
00:48:03,317 --> 00:48:07,765
or you think you're good, if
you don't keep Christ as the sinner

719
00:48:07,877 --> 00:48:12,213
and you're not always aiming
to be in his will, sin will creep

720
00:48:12,261 --> 00:48:16,693
in and it will drive you
apart. And the kids. So, you know,

721
00:48:16,701 --> 00:48:19,751
we paid a price in our
marriage and in our family, we our

722
00:48:19,775 --> 00:48:23,287
kids as well. But only when we
wake up every day and try to focus

723
00:48:23,343 --> 00:48:29,527
on Jesus and just actively
seek to Stay in his will. Everything's

724
00:48:29,543 --> 00:48:33,287
come together. The family's
harmonious. Their marriage is closer

725
00:48:33,303 --> 00:48:36,999
than we've ever been.
Everyone's happier. Just everything

726
00:48:37,039 --> 00:48:37,859
works better.

727
00:48:40,959 --> 00:48:44,775
I think a lot of it started
with both of us growing up. Church

728
00:48:44,807 --> 00:48:47,591
was always a priority coming
kind of like it was for you, Pastor.

729
00:48:47,655 --> 00:48:53,671
Just we were always there,
each of us, you know, all three services

730
00:48:53,775 --> 00:48:57,063
and anything else that was
happening at church. And so that

731
00:48:57,151 --> 00:49:02,055
kind of helped instill that in
our. Each of our minds. And then

732
00:49:02,127 --> 00:49:07,031
as we were single and living
on our own, that had to be a priority,

733
00:49:07,095 --> 00:49:14,195
too. It, you know, wasn't
necessarily always as high of a priority

734
00:49:14,227 --> 00:49:20,067
for me when I was single, but
the job I was working didn't. Didn't

735
00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:24,627
give me a lot of time off on
Sunday so I could run over quick

736
00:49:24,683 --> 00:49:28,691
for the service and then go
right back to work. And so as I got

737
00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:32,451
more established in that, I
was able to get more involved in

738
00:49:32,475 --> 00:49:38,691
that. And then that kind of.
As we came together, the big priority

739
00:49:38,755 --> 00:49:41,829
was, where are we going to
live? Where are we going to move

740
00:49:41,869 --> 00:49:48,485
to? And the first thing that
we did was, even before we moved

741
00:49:48,517 --> 00:49:53,637
into the apartment, was find a
church that we were going to be going

742
00:49:53,693 --> 00:49:59,045
to, so we already knew where
we were going. And that, again, it's

743
00:49:59,077 --> 00:50:04,389
just kind of always been a
priority. And if you do that, it

744
00:50:04,429 --> 00:50:07,939
makes it a priority for your
kids as well. They know what to expect.

745
00:50:09,119 --> 00:50:12,551
Kids never ask the question,
are we going to church today? That

746
00:50:12,575 --> 00:50:15,819
should never happen. It really
shouldn't. Church is a priority.

747
00:50:16,319 --> 00:50:19,239
Priority if you move. I know
we have several families that get

748
00:50:19,279 --> 00:50:23,703
opportunities to take jobs
somewhere else. And I always encourage

749
00:50:23,751 --> 00:50:26,423
them. I encourage you. If you
do that, then look for a church.

750
00:50:26,471 --> 00:50:28,311
There's a good church in that
area. You ought to look for that

751
00:50:28,335 --> 00:50:30,807
first. One of the ways you
might indicate whether God wants

752
00:50:30,823 --> 00:50:32,775
you to take that job is
whether or not there's a good church

753
00:50:32,807 --> 00:50:36,789
in that area. And so, you
know, making it a priority. Making

754
00:50:36,829 --> 00:50:39,045
it a priority over everything.
Making it a priority with your family,

755
00:50:39,117 --> 00:50:42,213
with your kids, no matter
what's going on with the school programs

756
00:50:42,261 --> 00:50:46,229
and everything else in life
that gets so busy, Church is number

757
00:50:46,269 --> 00:50:49,765
one. We're going to church no
matter what's. No matter what's happening.

758
00:50:49,877 --> 00:50:54,517
So I appreciate both these
families. All right, so lastly, we'll

759
00:50:54,533 --> 00:50:59,781
come back over to the Luns.
Just parting words of what do you

760
00:50:59,805 --> 00:51:04,051
believe? You know, help in
making a marriage successful. What

761
00:51:04,075 --> 00:51:05,919
is. What does that look like
to you?

762
00:51:06,379 --> 00:51:08,691
Well, before I forget it, I
wanted to throw in one thing that

763
00:51:08,715 --> 00:51:12,279
I. That Took me at least two
decades to learn about listening.

764
00:51:13,019 --> 00:51:15,955
There really are times when
the best thing I can do is listen

765
00:51:15,987 --> 00:51:21,763
and not offer a solution. It's
simple and it's obvious to most of

766
00:51:21,771 --> 00:51:25,715
you apparently, but I did not
know that and I have to actually

767
00:51:25,787 --> 00:51:30,225
ask her sometimes am I, do you
want a solution or am I just supposed

768
00:51:30,257 --> 00:51:36,401
to let you vent? But honestly,
overall, the biggest thing that I

769
00:51:36,425 --> 00:51:38,961
think, and I wish I could go
back 20 years ago and tell myself

770
00:51:39,025 --> 00:51:44,193
is you must be really
intentional and active in maintaining

771
00:51:44,241 --> 00:51:50,229
your marriage and your family.
You can't ever coast. It's an active

772
00:51:50,729 --> 00:51:55,211
job. I mean, you have to work
at it. It's worth it, but you have

773
00:51:55,235 --> 00:51:59,999
to, you know, pour yourself
into it, keep God at the center,

774
00:52:00,339 --> 00:52:02,639
be quick to forgive and quick
to listen.

775
00:52:06,339 --> 00:52:09,291
Yeah, just more of the same
things that we've talked about is

776
00:52:09,315 --> 00:52:15,399
just making sure that you
always keep communication lines open.

777
00:52:16,179 --> 00:52:23,111
And communication is, is so
important, not holding back, being

778
00:52:23,135 --> 00:52:26,855
able to effectively listen.
Communication is not necessarily

779
00:52:26,887 --> 00:52:32,391
just talking. It's being able
to listen and understanding what

780
00:52:32,495 --> 00:52:38,615
your partner needs from you in
that regard. I think what brother

781
00:52:38,807 --> 00:52:43,943
Lund said about most men are
that way. They want hear the problem,

782
00:52:44,031 --> 00:52:47,671
here's the solution. And, and
sometimes we just need to be quiet.

783
00:52:47,815 --> 00:52:52,135
I've also found that as a
pastor too, even working with our

784
00:52:52,287 --> 00:52:56,519
staff here, sometimes it's
just better just to kind of let them

785
00:52:56,559 --> 00:53:02,263
talk and let them get through
the talk and there may not be a solution.

786
00:53:02,311 --> 00:53:04,679
And they would usually
sometimes come up with their own

787
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,703
solutions. And so yes,
absolutely. I think in a marriage,

788
00:53:07,751 --> 00:53:13,755
especially men, we have a
tendency to want to, yeah, solve

789
00:53:13,787 --> 00:53:17,547
the problem. And she's just
wanting to tell you the story.

790
00:53:17,683 --> 00:53:23,323
So several of the keys were in
the other answers of the questions.

791
00:53:23,371 --> 00:53:27,371
But for us, you know, putting
God first, making sure church is

792
00:53:27,395 --> 00:53:32,619
a priority, finding something
that you both like to do so that

793
00:53:32,659 --> 00:53:39,039
you can spend time doing that
together. And one thing I wrote down,

794
00:53:39,419 --> 00:53:44,419
especially for either new
couples or maybe just couples in

795
00:53:44,459 --> 00:53:49,251
dating that aren't married yet
but would be, don't think that you

796
00:53:49,275 --> 00:53:54,643
can change the other person.
You know, we especially both of us

797
00:53:54,811 --> 00:53:59,139
had been living on our own
for, you know, seven, eight, nine

798
00:53:59,179 --> 00:54:03,747
years. And you know, we have
our own habits and things like that.

799
00:54:03,803 --> 00:54:07,955
And so you can't think, oh
yeah, when we get married, she's

800
00:54:07,987 --> 00:54:17,395
going to do this and she'll
change. We're all our own individual

801
00:54:17,587 --> 00:54:21,779
person. And so in that case,
you really don't want them to change.

802
00:54:21,899 --> 00:54:25,251
That's part of who they are.
And so even habits and Things like

803
00:54:25,275 --> 00:54:29,619
that. We got to give and take
a little bit. But don't think that

804
00:54:29,739 --> 00:54:32,653
everything's going to change
when you get married and it's going

805
00:54:32,661 --> 00:54:35,649
to be perfect. You're going to
have to work through those problems.

806
00:54:36,549 --> 00:54:39,889
Yeah, I think we all
experience that. Absolutely.

807
00:54:40,709 --> 00:54:43,149
I would say a couple things,
first of all, would be agree on your

808
00:54:43,189 --> 00:54:47,549
finances, because that can be
a constant contention if you don't.

809
00:54:47,629 --> 00:54:50,765
And Phil is definitely the
money guy and I'm the guy that spends

810
00:54:50,797 --> 00:54:55,325
it, but he did set me up. So
for those of you who are single,

811
00:54:55,517 --> 00:54:59,413
he literally worked hard so
that he could. Could have good financial

812
00:54:59,501 --> 00:55:02,101
stability for his wife. So if
you have the ability to do that,

813
00:55:02,205 --> 00:55:05,029
that's been one of my greatest
blessings is having somebody who

814
00:55:05,069 --> 00:55:09,861
knew money, and he does, and I
like to spend it. But we do have

815
00:55:09,885 --> 00:55:12,901
resources in our church, too,
that can help you with that. We have

816
00:55:12,925 --> 00:55:16,949
people here that are really
good at that. But then I think probably

817
00:55:17,029 --> 00:55:21,381
the most important thing I
would like to stress is to find a

818
00:55:21,405 --> 00:55:27,029
couple who love both of you
that you can go to. So for us, the

819
00:55:27,069 --> 00:55:31,829
Lassiters or Clovis and Judy
Hale, who have an interest in both

820
00:55:31,869 --> 00:55:35,157
of us together, because if I
want, you know, first of all, don't

821
00:55:35,173 --> 00:55:38,965
go tell somebody else all
about your husband what you don't

822
00:55:38,997 --> 00:55:43,381
like. Right. But when I have
an insecurity or something, I need

823
00:55:43,405 --> 00:55:46,821
to go to someone not that's on
my side, but somebody who together

824
00:55:46,925 --> 00:55:51,301
wants to see us succeed. So
finding a couple that I can trust,

825
00:55:51,365 --> 00:55:54,703
that he can trust, but that
loves both of us because it truly

826
00:55:54,751 --> 00:55:59,775
isn't my problem or his
problem, it truly is we have an issue

827
00:55:59,847 --> 00:56:02,959
in life that we have to get
through together. And on that same

828
00:56:02,999 --> 00:56:09,263
note, having friends that as a
couple, we can spend time with. So

829
00:56:09,351 --> 00:56:11,871
while there's nothing wrong
with a girl's night out every once

830
00:56:11,895 --> 00:56:14,911
in a while or him going
fishing, you know, without me, there

831
00:56:14,935 --> 00:56:18,751
is something wrong with that.
Let me backtrack on that. Him going

832
00:56:18,775 --> 00:56:19,087
to dishonor.

833
00:56:19,103 --> 00:56:21,781
I have done that with him
before. So us guys have been out

834
00:56:21,805 --> 00:56:22,741
fishing before.

835
00:56:22,925 --> 00:56:26,997
But as a general rule, if you
find people, your people are people

836
00:56:27,053 --> 00:56:29,573
that you can spend time
together with, with your spouse,

837
00:56:29,621 --> 00:56:32,261
so that it's not every single
week. I'm doing my own thing and

838
00:56:32,285 --> 00:56:35,141
he's doing his own thing. So
if there's one thing I think that

839
00:56:35,165 --> 00:56:38,725
I could stress the most, it's
to find you a Clovis and Judy Hale

840
00:56:38,757 --> 00:56:42,453
or find you a brother and Mrs.
Lasseter or someone that has proven

841
00:56:42,501 --> 00:56:45,093
that their Marriage worked
because they put God first.

842
00:56:45,261 --> 00:56:50,671
Exactly. And if I can also add
too, I think something that would

843
00:56:50,775 --> 00:56:56,111
have helped us quite a bit is
we didn't have the best example of

844
00:56:56,135 --> 00:57:01,087
a marriage in our parents
growing up. And I think that something

845
00:57:01,143 --> 00:57:07,311
that would help make a lot of
help a lot of couples is just to

846
00:57:07,335 --> 00:57:10,539
raise your kids to understand
what a good. Marriage looks like

847
00:57:11,879 --> 00:57:14,591
and to have some examples. We
have some wonderful examples in our

848
00:57:14,615 --> 00:57:17,415
church, including these two.
And they've already mentioned Clovis

849
00:57:17,447 --> 00:57:21,047
and Judy. They get a lot of
attention. But there's so many others,

850
00:57:21,103 --> 00:57:25,143
too, brother Roy, Ms. Linda,
others who've been up here on the

851
00:57:25,151 --> 00:57:27,975
stage, whom I look up to.

852
00:57:28,127 --> 00:57:30,967
But those couples that you
name are the ones who are always

853
00:57:31,023 --> 00:57:35,751
here working together. Right.
Like the Reeds are the ones who are

854
00:57:35,775 --> 00:57:38,343
setting up for missions
conference, and the Hales are the

855
00:57:38,351 --> 00:57:41,655
ones who are running to get
stuff. Like those couples that are

856
00:57:41,727 --> 00:57:44,515
such a good example are
serving together in ministry.

857
00:57:44,647 --> 00:57:48,955
Right? That's it. All right.
We appreciate it very much. Y'all

858
00:57:49,067 --> 00:57:51,323
appreciate it very, very much.
Let's have a time. We're gonna have

859
00:57:51,331 --> 00:57:53,851
a time. Let's all stand. We're
gonna have invitation. Yeah, they

860
00:57:53,875 --> 00:57:58,559
did a great job, didn't they?
Putting up with me too is tough.

861
00:57:59,139 --> 00:58:01,211
We're gonna have a time of
invitation. Maybe something was said

862
00:58:01,235 --> 00:58:04,043
tonight. Maybe you want
something. Come pray about something.

863
00:58:04,131 --> 00:58:08,619
I do believe testimony is a.
Is absolutely. In the Bible. They

864
00:58:08,659 --> 00:58:12,597
gave their testimonies and.
And Paul gave his testimony so many

865
00:58:12,653 --> 00:58:18,245
times. And these are not just
in to. Just to say words, but they're

866
00:58:18,277 --> 00:58:22,677
there to help encourage you,
influence you. And so I encourage

867
00:58:22,693 --> 00:58:24,821
you. If the Lord's touched
your heart, you come tonight. So

868
00:58:24,845 --> 00:58:27,989
we're going to sing hymn 500,
Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior, after

869
00:58:28,029 --> 00:58:31,605
we pray. Heavenly Father, we
thank you for these two marriages.

870
00:58:31,717 --> 00:58:34,885
And Lord, may you continue to
bless them, may give them wisdom

871
00:58:34,917 --> 00:58:37,735
as they continue to go
forward. Lord, I do pray tonight

872
00:58:37,767 --> 00:58:41,751
that if it's touched a heart,
maybe just one thing or two things

873
00:58:41,775 --> 00:58:45,239
that were said would influence
a life. Tonight I pray that your

874
00:58:45,279 --> 00:58:48,535
Holy Spirit would work in the
life of those who've been listening.

875
00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:49,639
In Jesus name, amen.