Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be

spending some time with you today. I hope you're doing well.

If you're not doing well, I hope I can bring love and joy,

resolution, peace into your life. If you haven't yet,

subscribe to this podcast. And if you have, thank you so much,

it means so much to know that you are a listener who keeps

coming back to listen to my podcast. And if you really enjoy

it, maybe leave me a review on Apple podcast. Five stars would

be sweet. Or a review. Today I want to talk about parenting.

Parenting a row is talking about parenting while does she have

children? No, she doesn't have children. So why the EFF? Does

she think she can talk about parenting? Well, well, well, my

dear listeners, I'm a daughter. And I also happen to have

empathy. So I love to put myself into other people's shoes. I

realized something profoundly today, I realized that as a

parent, you do your very best at all times. And we all know that

we don't succeed at all times. But still, we're doing our best.

Right? We don't wake up in the morning and say to ourselves,

today I'm going to be a shitty person. Today I'm going to be a

shitty parent know, when something slips when something

doesn't go the way it should be going. It is in the moment, it

is impulsively it's an accident, it is not meant to be and this

is okay, you are forgiven. Kids are not being born with a

manual, right? You can look into astrology, you can visit

astrologers and find out as much as you want about your baby and

where it was born, when it was born. And what it's going to

grow up to be like when you look into the stars. But chances are

the environment is going to influence the baby and the

outside world society. Things that are totally out of our

control, and the baby will grow into what it wants to grow. And

what I realized today is that when we do our very best when

we're parenting when we help a little human being to grow into

a healthy, responsible member of society. It must be very

painful. When all of a sudden that child that teenager, that

young adult decides to do something that you reject it

with all your mighty emotional and mental force. You rejected

that one thing that your child wants to engage in, and now your

child is engaging into it. And it is scary. It is scary because

you're worried that your baby is gonna get hurt. You're worried

that your baby is not going to get acceptance from society,

that your baby is not going to be long that your baby is going

to struggle. Now look at the vaccine. Look at the parents who

got the vaccine and the children who decide not to get a vaccine.

They must be so worried and scared because for themselves

it's very clear what is best. And why is it different for our

own child, the child that we fed we shelter we closed we put all

our lovin why? Why is that child doing something so erratic and

different? Same goes if you look at tattoos I'm the only person

in my family who has tattoos. And it must have been extremely

weird for my family to find out. And it was like, I only know my

side, I know my side, because that's the perspective I had, I

got those tattoos, I had my reasons, and I enjoy them every

day. And when I received the reaction from my parents, I was

I felt a little bit rejected, although I know, when they

reacted, they did it in a very loving way. And they wanted to

understand and they wanted to ask me questions, and we had

discussions, like, very friendly conversations about it. And it

was just very lovely. But today, I realized it must have been so

scary and weird, scary is maybe a little bit too extreme, but

weird for them to see what I was doing with my body. Same goes

with academics, you and your husband, you're very clear that

your bankers, your intellectuals, your doctors,

maybe your lawyers, and your child decides to become a

musician. Your child is an artist, and wants to express him

or herself. very artistically. Now, for some parents, this is

refreshing, this is awesome. Like this is the best addition

to our life that we can imagine. Because now we we got it all. We

got the academics and we got the artistic side and our family.

But for a lot of parents and grandparents, it is so

uncomfortable to see that you suck at math that you don't care

about history, that all you care about, is socializing, and arts.

You love music, you love painting, you love being messy.

You love expressing yourself in a very extravagant way. And if

that child now feels shit, I can't belong to my family. I

feel rejected if I pursue my passion, my true calling. That's

a very, very painful realization, reality to sit in

for that chat. But what I realized today, for those

parents, it's also very scary to see their child go off into a

new direction, because they don't know it is uncertainty.

The tide is being a pioneer. And you have to let it walk off. And

you don't know if it's going to make it or not. This is scary. I

get it. I understand it. And the other day, I had a conversation

with my partner and I said, Well, my child is going to

become this and that and learn all these language and languages

and is going to be passionate about traveling. I can't have a

child who doesn't like traveling, because that's my

passion. And we laughed so hard because at the same time, I

realized no, this is not how it goes. The child enters the world

as a complete new creation and being with its own thoughts and

desires. And we as parents, we have to nurture it, she'll

shelter it and give it whatever it needs, give it guidance and

also encourage the path that it wants to be on. As soon as we

give it the impression that it is not okay to be gay. It is not

okay to be overly excited about Vanguard and, Ludovico I know

the and Mozart and Beethoven. This is just leisure time. You

cannot make a profession out of it. But when you do and saying

those things, feeling those things, is cutting your child

off from unconditional love and twisting it into conditional

love. And this is when children start acting out because they

feel on a very subtle level. The They're being excluded, that

they're not

made to feel enough that they're not meeting expectations. And

this is crazy crippling for the growth of a child. But I

understood today how scary it must be to let your child walk

off into a direction that you had rejected for your own path a

long time ago, maybe.

Parenting is tough, I get it. Being a daughter, being a son,

is very tough too. And I hope you will never forget how it

felt the first time that you expressed a desire. And your

parents said, You were not allowed to go down that path.

Maybe you were in love with someone of a different cost of a

different, you know, part of society. And your parents didn't

want you to be together. Maybe you were interested in arts and

music, and your parents forced you to become an academic. This

is when sickness arises and depression. And we have to stop,

we wonder why so many people are sick and tired and break out or

commit suicide, we have to become more sensitive with what

a child's path may look like. And if we feel resistance, if we

feel scared, we have to check in when without ego, we have to ask

ourselves questions, and then ask the child specific questions

and approach him or her with curiosity. I'm very proud of my

parents of how they dealt with my tattoos, for instance, but

also many other instances. I'm very grateful. On a subtle

level, I still felt rejected. But that's okay. It's part of

life. It's part of growing up and making your own way in this

world. But today, I wanted to make sure that parents feel

understood as well. And that I can see that it is

uncomfortable. It is uncertainty. And it is scary.

But we need to trust that what we the way we raised our child

was the very best that we have done. And if they make a

different conclusion out of it than what we thought initially,

then it is okay. And we have to put trust in them. Love and

them. And again, trust. We have to trust that all babies that we

send out into the world are taking care of themselves and

love themselves so much have so much healthy confidence in

themselves, that they will make the right decisions. And if they

didn't make a right decision, they know they can come back to

you. They know they can come talk to you recharge their

batteries, recalibrate their compass, and then start out a

new path without you judging them. I'm sending my love out to

you to all the parents out there to all the daughters and sons

and creatures that are listening. I love you so much. I

appreciate you so much. And if you have any comments, join me

on my Facebook page Aurora Eggert. Add me there or comment

below this episode that I will be posting here in a couple of

minutes. Thank you so much. Take good care of yourself. Bye bye