WEBVTT

00:00:01.200 --> 00:00:25.950

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What if the reason you keep hitting the same wall in your career or business isn't lack of strategy, but an unhealed part of you that's been running the show all along? In this episode, we'll uncover how to break free from the invisible limits, tap into deep self-trust, and finally move from stuck to unstoppable. Hi, and welcome to the UWorld Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life health transformational coaches and spiritual entrepreneurs stepping up to

00:00:25.950 --> 00:00:47.359

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, The Coaches Alchemist, on a mission to help coaches and entrepreneurs amplify their voice, monetize their mission, and get visible. If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head over to Coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit.

00:00:47.360 --> 00:01:10.719

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out rather than you having to hunt them down. Today, we are chatting with Bobby Malloy. Bobby is a transformational coach, author, speaker, entrepreneur, and former U.S. Marine who helps leaders and organizations break through hidden barriers that hold back performance. With a unique blend of mental toughness and emotional intelligence, Bobby

00:01:10.770 --> 00:01:29.450

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Bobby empowers professionals to build unshakable self-trust, adapt to challenges, and align their work with purpose. As the author of Healing Your Inner Child and creator of The Aligned Self Method, she brings proven strategies that help high achievers move from stuck to unstoppable. Welcome to the show, Bobbi. It's great to have you with us.

00:01:29.450 --> 00:01:31.039

Bobbie Maloy: Thank you, it's great to be here.

00:01:31.210 --> 00:01:33.609

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Alright, let's ask you the big question, are you ready?

00:01:33.610 --> 00:01:34.699

Bobbie Maloy: Let's do it.

00:01:34.700 --> 00:01:41.430

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?

00:01:42.090 --> 00:01:45.110

Bobbie Maloy: Stop listening to external sources.

00:01:46.040 --> 00:01:56.810

Bobbie Maloy: So there's way too much noise out here. If you're watching, you know, if you're just listening, there's too many external noises, and we…

00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:06.829

Bobbie Maloy: as a people, as individuals, don't listen internally enough to what we should do, how we should move. We listen way too much to other people's opinions.

00:02:07.070 --> 00:02:08.100

Bobbie Maloy: And…

00:02:08.220 --> 00:02:16.050

Bobbie Maloy: It's part of the reason that ultimately we're gonna get into. It's a lot of the reason why people don't succeed doing what it is that they're going after.

00:02:16.740 --> 00:02:34.939

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love this. And I can imagine your marine training really has fed into this, because boot camp, from what I understand, is about stripping us back to the very basics and making everybody the same, and then we can start

00:02:35.650 --> 00:02:37.749

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Layering stuff on.

00:02:38.060 --> 00:02:39.290

Bobbie Maloy: For sure.

00:02:39.350 --> 00:02:46.230

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Well, yeah, it definitely had a lot to do with my life. I actually went to boot camp twice. I got hurt the first time and sent home.

00:02:46.600 --> 00:02:53.219

Bobbie Maloy: And, that's exactly what happened. So I was 18, and, you know, they strip away…

00:02:53.360 --> 00:03:01.590

Bobbie Maloy: What you… you know, kind of who you are, and and all the way down to, like, you don't exactly think you're very… you're worth much.

00:03:01.720 --> 00:03:03.709

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Well, that's when I got hurt and sent home.

00:03:03.970 --> 00:03:06.480

Bobbie Maloy: Is after they had stripped away our ego.

00:03:06.600 --> 00:03:20.879

Bobbie Maloy: And so, I went through a pretty low period shortly after that, like, depression and everything, because I had just been told, like, I'm lower than… well, oh, let's see, the PC version is I'm lower than whale poop, and that's at the bottom of the ocean.

00:03:21.770 --> 00:03:25.980

Bobbie Maloy: So, think about where my mental state was after I had gotten hurt and sent home.

00:03:26.440 --> 00:03:27.979

Bobbie Maloy: Well, I pulled myself…

00:03:28.200 --> 00:03:34.680

Bobbie Maloy: over time, out of that to being a little bit less than feeling like I'm… I'm…

00:03:34.920 --> 00:03:36.819

Bobbie Maloy: The lowest person in the world.

00:03:38.130 --> 00:03:43.190

Bobbie Maloy: And then I lost the job that I had at the time, and I was like, oh man, I'm gonna try and go for this other position.

00:03:43.550 --> 00:03:44.820

Bobbie Maloy: And,

00:03:45.210 --> 00:03:57.489

Bobbie Maloy: But they wanted my military records, because they knew that I had at least a little bit of military service. The only place I knew to go to talk about anything to the military was the recruiter again, so 6 weeks later, I was in boot camp again.

00:03:57.610 --> 00:04:10.040

Bobbie Maloy: From there, I actually did make it through, graduated as a Marine, but that's exactly what happened. They couldn't tear me down the second time, because they'd already done that once, and I'd pulled myself out of that.

00:04:10.510 --> 00:04:20.160

Bobbie Maloy: And then they added and layered on top of that, here's all the things that you learn and can do and build, and this level of confidence.

00:04:20.550 --> 00:04:25.680

Bobbie Maloy: That you get from being in the military, and that was one of many

00:04:25.800 --> 00:04:28.320

Bobbie Maloy: things that I had gone through, where…

00:04:28.510 --> 00:04:34.710

Bobbie Maloy: You kind of hit that rock bottom, and then you build yourself up, and it's very similar for a lot of things that people do these days.

00:04:35.980 --> 00:04:40.470

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, I… those recruiters… Every time.

00:04:40.470 --> 00:04:51.389

Bobbie Maloy: Yes, they do, especially when you're in the, you know, kind of of that age. You're floating around going, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Who do I go talk to? They're very good, and they're very persuasive, for sure.

00:04:52.060 --> 00:04:57.130

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I remember doing that with my daughter. So, how… how did you…

00:04:57.250 --> 00:05:02.700

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Morph into what you're doing now, which is helping people really

00:05:03.370 --> 00:05:11.180

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Listen to their inner… inner voice, rather than listening to what everybody's telling them to do.

00:05:12.220 --> 00:05:14.459

Bobbie Maloy: Well, and, you know, when you talk about

00:05:14.580 --> 00:05:25.139

Bobbie Maloy: all of those different types. I've transformed my life several times over since being an adult, and as someone who, at one point in time, I was living the American dream, right?

00:05:25.640 --> 00:05:38.450

Bobbie Maloy: I got my college degree. Well, I was in the military, I got my college degree, I was married, I had the… almost the biggest house in the neighborhood, weighed everything except for the white picket fence, I had a six-figure job.

00:05:39.430 --> 00:05:43.560

Bobbie Maloy: And I was miserable. But I didn't realize it at the time. See, that's the key.

00:05:44.410 --> 00:05:49.389

Bobbie Maloy: I didn't realize that… that what was going on, I knew something was off.

00:05:49.950 --> 00:05:52.000

Bobbie Maloy: And I wasn't sure what it was.

00:05:53.030 --> 00:05:58.720

Bobbie Maloy: And then, I started doing some self-help. I'm a recovering self-help junkie, we can talk about that too.

00:06:00.230 --> 00:06:01.900

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We all.

00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:11.429

Bobbie Maloy: the books, the courses, the seminars, you name it, I've probably done it, looked into it, got the book, got the t-shirt, all the things.

00:06:12.170 --> 00:06:19.990

Bobbie Maloy: But I started realizing that I was living a life of other people's choices.

00:06:22.300 --> 00:06:26.170

Bobbie Maloy: And sure, I was successful at it. I was making 6 figures a year.

00:06:27.630 --> 00:06:30.110

Bobbie Maloy: But I didn't want to get up in the morning to go to work.

00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:35.679

Bobbie Maloy: I was in a marriage that, from the outside, looked amazing.

00:06:37.510 --> 00:06:39.370

Bobbie Maloy: It wasn't very healthy.

00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:41.620

Bobbie Maloy: At all, for me.

00:06:43.500 --> 00:06:50.900

Bobbie Maloy: And again, I didn't realize it. I didn't know what was going on at the time. I found out a lot more after we got divorced.

00:06:52.340 --> 00:06:59.520

Bobbie Maloy: But I was living the American dream. Why was I… why was something off? Why was I not…

00:07:00.670 --> 00:07:04.919

Bobbie Maloy: happy. Everybody told me I had everything that everybody else wants.

00:07:05.900 --> 00:07:12.849

Bobbie Maloy: And that's… really where I started to sit in some very uncomfortable moments of asking, well, what does

00:07:12.980 --> 00:07:14.059

Bobbie Maloy: Bobby won.

00:07:15.650 --> 00:07:21.219

Bobbie Maloy: And I couldn't answer that. That's how bad I had gotten.

00:07:22.410 --> 00:07:27.369

Bobbie Maloy: To where… My career choice was because somebody else told me I'd be good at it.

00:07:27.810 --> 00:07:34.500

Bobbie Maloy: And then, every move and jump in the career, you'd be good at this, you'd be good over here, hey, you'd be good working for these guys.

00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:36.510

Bobbie Maloy: And they were right!

00:07:36.990 --> 00:07:41.810

Bobbie Maloy: But that wasn't… it wasn't my choice. I was just like, oh, okay, and I would follow that path.

00:07:43.260 --> 00:07:44.360

Bobbie Maloy: And…

00:07:44.770 --> 00:07:52.010

Bobbie Maloy: that happened in a lot of… I mean, in a lot of things. I followed my ex-husband around, but he wouldn't follow me around.

00:07:53.070 --> 00:07:58.270

Bobbie Maloy: And so what I found was I couldn't answer the question, what does Bobby want?

00:07:59.200 --> 00:08:08.410

Bobbie Maloy: And I sat with that uncomfortableness for a lot longer than I care to really, espouse, because it was a while.

00:08:08.910 --> 00:08:10.860

Bobbie Maloy: In that uncomfortable moment.

00:08:12.190 --> 00:08:19.390

Bobbie Maloy: in that uncomfortableness. And… That's when I realized something had to change.

00:08:22.010 --> 00:08:23.170

Bobbie Maloy: And so…

00:08:23.660 --> 00:08:28.730

Bobbie Maloy: I didn't know what I wanted to do. I didn't know that I wanted to do this, obviously, at the time.

00:08:29.320 --> 00:08:44.920

Bobbie Maloy: But I did start to make changes in my life. And each change pointed me more and more and more towards what it is that I'm doing now. And then ultimately, I'm just like, why am I… why am I piddling around over here, doing all of these different things?

00:08:45.130 --> 00:08:48.390

Bobbie Maloy: when I keep coming back to this idea that

00:08:50.390 --> 00:08:53.590

Bobbie Maloy: If I can… if I can make it through some of these things.

00:08:55.130 --> 00:09:02.250

Bobbie Maloy: then maybe I can reach back, and this is this, you know, I learned this in the Marines, if I can make it through, but somebody behind me is struggling.

00:09:02.560 --> 00:09:05.559

Bobbie Maloy: Well, then I sure as hell better make sure they get over it, too.

00:09:06.560 --> 00:09:09.300

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah. And so that's… that's where…

00:09:09.770 --> 00:09:17.170

Bobbie Maloy: You know, that's kind of how this all came about, was this idea that Nobody should have to struggle.

00:09:17.820 --> 00:09:23.500

Bobbie Maloy: as hard as I have at times, and some people certainly struggle way more than I do.

00:09:23.620 --> 00:09:30.400

Bobbie Maloy: Nobody should have to struggle that hard to find a calling and a passion and do something that lights them up in the world.

00:09:31.620 --> 00:09:37.640

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. And there are so many people that are struggling with just that. They're… they're in…

00:09:38.060 --> 00:09:48.410

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're in relationships that look great from the outside, and they have the kids, and the two… the picket fence, and the big house, and… and…

00:09:48.530 --> 00:09:57.310

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: their yards are just so, and they go on all the vacations they're supposed to go on, and it's like, you look at their lives in…

00:09:58.060 --> 00:10:04.739

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I… to be honest, I don't look at them the same way as I used to, but…

00:10:04.930 --> 00:10:11.879

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: when I was young, I would look at them and think, oh, God, they just have it all together, their lives are so perfect.

00:10:12.060 --> 00:10:15.429

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I want my life to look like that. Yeah.

00:10:15.430 --> 00:10:16.569

Bobbie Maloy: American dream, right?

00:10:16.570 --> 00:10:17.900

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's the American dream.

00:10:17.900 --> 00:10:20.019

Bobbie Maloy: We do. It's what we're supposed to want.

00:10:20.020 --> 00:10:22.300

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it's really the American nightmare.

00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:32.759

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because you get trapped in a job, you get trapped in a house, and I live in a small house by choice these days. I've had the McMansions.

00:10:32.910 --> 00:10:42.690

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: With, you know, the 7 bathrooms, and 87 bedrooms, and it's just like, I am a slave to this house, just to keep it, you know, not filthy.

00:10:42.890 --> 00:10:44.749

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm working all the time!

00:10:45.440 --> 00:10:47.639

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't… I don't want to do that.

00:10:47.860 --> 00:10:50.489

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And my kids all slept in my bedroom, so it was like…

00:10:51.290 --> 00:10:51.930

Bobbie Maloy: Right.

00:10:51.930 --> 00:10:53.100

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We have all this space?

00:10:53.360 --> 00:11:05.150

Bobbie Maloy: I had… like I said, I had the perfect life, but it wasn't by my choice. Now, I want to say that because it doesn't sound very empowering when you say that it wasn't by your choice. I obviously made choices along the way.

100

00:11:05.150 --> 00:11:05.970

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, yeah.

101

00:11:06.900 --> 00:11:14.389

Bobbie Maloy: But I made choices based off of what other people said. And that's where I can look back at it and go, huh.

102

00:11:14.710 --> 00:11:17.670

Bobbie Maloy: I can certainly tell why my life is…

103

00:11:18.180 --> 00:11:24.949

Bobbie Maloy: kind of haphazard, the reality was, I didn't have a destination I was going towards.

104

00:11:25.470 --> 00:11:41.749

Bobbie Maloy: And again, I don't know who says it. I've actually got to look this quote up, because I know it's… I know you can. If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there, right? Somebody way smarter than I am said that, and it's… it's… it's right. And I was on the path to any… of any road.

105

00:11:41.980 --> 00:11:45.550

Bobbie Maloy: I didn't know where I was going. I couldn't answer what did I want.

106

00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:51.539

Bobbie Maloy: And so, any road was getting me there, and… and it was… it was working

107

00:11:52.120 --> 00:11:54.559

Bobbie Maloy: But it wasn't. Makes sense.

108

00:11:55.340 --> 00:11:57.369

Bobbie Maloy: And so once I decided.

109

00:11:57.470 --> 00:12:06.869

Bobbie Maloy: let me actually put something into my GPS. Let's not just let the map take me where it's gonna take me. Let's put an actual destination to this GPS of life.

110

00:12:07.950 --> 00:12:11.469

Bobbie Maloy: And that's when things started to change. That's when…

111

00:12:11.700 --> 00:12:19.050

Bobbie Maloy: Now, it wasn't perfect, like, don't get me wrong, like, the moment I put a GPS signal in, it wasn't, here's all highways and there's no traffic.

112

00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:23.859

Bobbie Maloy: Or reroutes, or any of that. Nope, because, I mean, I don't know if anybody else drives way better.

113

00:12:24.380 --> 00:12:27.910

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Barriers start appearing out of nowhere.

114

00:12:27.910 --> 00:12:37.600

Bobbie Maloy: Or if you drive like I do, which sometimes is, you know, you're in your head or you're doing anything but, you know, obviously paying attention to the driving aspect of it, you miss your turn.

115

00:12:37.820 --> 00:12:44.259

Bobbie Maloy: You take the wrong turn. You're like, oh no, I totally know a better way than the GPS is telling me.

116

00:12:46.350 --> 00:12:50.600

Bobbie Maloy: and you end up having to take U-turns, or it's, like, recalculating route.

117

00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:56.090

Bobbie Maloy: And the reality is that's what life does to us anyways, right? Life is…

118

00:12:56.260 --> 00:12:59.799

Bobbie Maloy: you know, the universe, God, Source, whatever you want to call it.

119

00:13:00.150 --> 00:13:09.289

Bobbie Maloy: is the GPS system for us, so you've got to give it a destination, and then it will sit there, and it doesn't say, oh, you took a wrong turn. Give up forever.

120

00:13:09.960 --> 00:13:13.020

Bobbie Maloy: It says, Recalculating route.

121

00:13:13.500 --> 00:13:20.280

Bobbie Maloy: Sometimes it says, you turn and go back, because there's no way I can get you from this point to where you're trying to go.

122

00:13:21.010 --> 00:13:28.529

Bobbie Maloy: I think there's a Japanese-Chinese proverb that says, if you're on the wrong train, get off, because the longer you're on it, the farther you have to go back.

123

00:13:28.530 --> 00:13:29.240

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.

124

00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:37.060

Bobbie Maloy: And sometimes we hit those in life, right? Because sometimes even the GPS is like, I don't know how to get you from here to where you want to go, so I need you to turn around.

125

00:13:38.490 --> 00:13:43.079

Bobbie Maloy: And that's… That's where we make these choices in life.

126

00:13:43.460 --> 00:13:51.720

Bobbie Maloy: that as long as we have our North Star, what is it that's internal to us? Because if we're listening to all of these external voices, and…

127

00:13:52.130 --> 00:13:55.499

Bobbie Maloy: Voices from the past, voices from, you know.

128

00:13:55.920 --> 00:14:02.249

Bobbie Maloy: Pick a news organization, or a friend, or parents, or any authority figure.

129

00:14:02.660 --> 00:14:05.609

Bobbie Maloy: That says, oh, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

130

00:14:05.740 --> 00:14:11.080

Bobbie Maloy: You're listening to all of this out here, And it's… it's confusing you.

131

00:14:11.550 --> 00:14:12.750

Bobbie Maloy: And that's…

132

00:14:13.360 --> 00:14:28.620

Bobbie Maloy: that's why I do what I do, is because there's so many people that pay attention to the wrong signals, and then wonder why they're left with playing small, bumping up against, like, obstacle after obstacle after obstacle.

133

00:14:29.580 --> 00:14:34.049

Bobbie Maloy: You know, and or just, they're not living their purpose in life.

134

00:14:35.060 --> 00:14:36.409

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Walking through a maze.

135

00:14:36.760 --> 00:14:37.819

Bobbie Maloy: It is.

136

00:14:38.450 --> 00:14:39.530

Bobbie Maloy: It is.

137

00:14:40.220 --> 00:14:53.969

Bobbie Maloy: And having a sense of direction, even if you internally don't feel like you're like, oh, I don't know where North is, you don't need to know where North is, you just need to know where you're… where you're ultimately trying to get to, and truly trust

138

00:14:54.900 --> 00:14:57.529

Bobbie Maloy: That it will happen for you.

139

00:14:59.150 --> 00:15:02.660

Bobbie Maloy: But you also still have to make the movements, and you have to make the change.

140

00:15:04.550 --> 00:15:08.280

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And working with you, I think people can shortcut that.

141

00:15:08.760 --> 00:15:17.339

Bobbie Maloy: Oh, yeah, absolutely, because I don't tell people what to do. Like, let's be honest. Like, any… any coach worth their… their…

142

00:15:17.500 --> 00:15:30.260

Bobbie Maloy: their weight, especially in this, you know, this type of industry. I'm not gonna sit there and say, oh, well, here's the things that you need to do. You have enough noise outside to do that. If you want to know how to do something.

143

00:15:30.470 --> 00:15:31.569

Bobbie Maloy: Google it.

144

00:15:32.050 --> 00:15:37.499

Bobbie Maloy: you'll find… the step-by-step play on how to do it. If you want to know

145

00:15:37.700 --> 00:15:42.140

Bobbie Maloy: what to do. I will show you how to listen to yourself.

146

00:15:43.860 --> 00:15:53.310

Bobbie Maloy: and get out of your own way, because the biggest… I mean, like, I don't know about you, but have you ever heard that little voice in your head that says, oh my god, you're not good enough for this, why are you doing this?

147

00:15:54.050 --> 00:15:59.720

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Or that little voice that says, who are you to be sharing this with the world?

148

00:15:59.780 --> 00:16:02.349

Bobbie Maloy: Or that little voice that's like…

149

00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:04.879

Bobbie Maloy: They find out we're a fraud.

150

00:16:05.650 --> 00:16:07.409

Bobbie Maloy: Right? We all have those.

151

00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:10.300

Bobbie Maloy: But that's not us.

152

00:16:10.540 --> 00:16:12.770

Bobbie Maloy: We're listening to…

153

00:16:13.760 --> 00:16:20.199

Bobbie Maloy: Sometimes, years upon years upon years, and if you're like me, you've got decades upon decades of… of…

154

00:16:20.790 --> 00:16:26.990

Bobbie Maloy: crap that we've built up. And the reason why this happens, because there's a lot of people that are like, well, why are we like this?

155

00:16:27.380 --> 00:16:30.620

Bobbie Maloy: Our brains are hardwired to find problems.

156

00:16:30.870 --> 00:16:33.140

Bobbie Maloy: They are very good at it.

157

00:16:33.570 --> 00:16:34.370

Bobbie Maloy: It's the keypad.

158

00:16:34.370 --> 00:16:34.820

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: safe.

159

00:16:34.820 --> 00:16:46.389

Bobbie Maloy: Yeah, it's designed to keep us safe. It's designed to say, is there a saber-toothed tiger around the corner, and do I have to run? Like, our brains… is this food going to, you know.

160

00:16:46.530 --> 00:16:47.930

Bobbie Maloy: harm me.

161

00:16:48.270 --> 00:16:51.560

Bobbie Maloy: Right? We're hardwired to find these problems.

162

00:16:52.510 --> 00:16:57.979

Bobbie Maloy: And so… If your brain is left to its own devices.

163

00:16:58.210 --> 00:17:06.779

Bobbie Maloy: it will find all the reasons and all the problems to not do the thing. Or, God forbid you make a mistake in something.

164

00:17:07.060 --> 00:17:19.639

Bobbie Maloy: And you get this thing called failure, that most people call failure. You get this notification, and all of a sudden your brain's like, oh my god, we were right, we're done, no more, not going out and doing this again.

165

00:17:20.579 --> 00:17:22.790

Bobbie Maloy: But all that is is feedback.

166

00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:27.849

Bobbie Maloy: That the way, very specifically, the way that you're trying to do something

167

00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:34.760

Bobbie Maloy: Or, potentially, what it is that you're trying to do isn't right for you.

168

00:17:36.740 --> 00:17:38.780

Bobbie Maloy: So, there's a lot that's going on there.

169

00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:49.450

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, there's a lot. And it really comes down to being able to still Those inner voices enough.

170

00:17:49.560 --> 00:18:00.169

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That you can… you can actually hear what your body has to say to you. And our bodies are talking to us. Not our heads, our bodies, our physical bodies.

171

00:18:00.170 --> 00:18:15.390

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: talk to us all the time, but we have been trained over the years to ignore it, and that's why people have migraines, and they have stomach aches, and they have bowel problems, and they have hip problems, and cancers, and a lot of

172

00:18:15.820 --> 00:18:16.790

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: times.

173

00:18:16.790 --> 00:18:18.060

Bobbie Maloy: Because they're just, like…

174

00:18:18.350 --> 00:18:20.980

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's gotta be stored somewhere.

175

00:18:21.270 --> 00:18:39.679

Bobbie Maloy: And the body remembers. I think there's a lot of science right now, scientific research, that is proving the point that your body remembers things. And so, whether you've experienced the capital T trauma or the lowercase t trauma in your life, your body remembers that. And then it does what it can to protect you from that going forward.

176

00:18:39.940 --> 00:18:41.290

Bobbie Maloy: And that's…

177

00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:49.979

Bobbie Maloy: ultimately, a lot of the work that I ended up doing, both personally and helping some clients through that, that led me to write the book, Healing Your Inner Child.

178

00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:54.710

Bobbie Maloy: Because as a self-proclaimed self-health junkie.

179

00:18:55.040 --> 00:19:07.049

Bobbie Maloy: And I had all the things. I, you know, meditation, vision boards, all the, you know, rewrite your life, all this type of stuff. I've done it all. But it wasn't working.

180

00:19:07.530 --> 00:19:16.640

Bobbie Maloy: Right? So… If you've had the same things on your vision board year after year after year, Why?

181

00:19:17.530 --> 00:19:24.470

Bobbie Maloy: Right? Oh, we want it. We're gonna… we're gonna do the manifestation and the meditation to get it.

182

00:19:25.020 --> 00:19:35.950

Bobbie Maloy: And maybe we take a couple of steps towards it, but then we… we experience these… these… we experience these blocks that stop us, that, like… like, we almost run headfirst into this invisible wall.

183

00:19:36.330 --> 00:19:37.860

Bobbie Maloy: And we don't know why.

184

00:19:39.280 --> 00:19:48.380

Bobbie Maloy: what I discovered through a lot of trial and error, and working on myself, and pulling myself out of some of these really dark places…

185

00:19:49.760 --> 00:19:54.670

Bobbie Maloy: was… The problem that I'm trying to fix in the moment

186

00:19:56.290 --> 00:19:59.679

Bobbie Maloy: is just a symptom. It's not a problem.

187

00:20:00.510 --> 00:20:03.869

Bobbie Maloy: So, I started doing… I did this thing called timeline work.

188

00:20:04.170 --> 00:20:05.490

Bobbie Maloy: which is where…

189

00:20:06.470 --> 00:20:16.580

Bobbie Maloy: you walk backwards on your timeline. Now, you can do this, you know, you do this in, you know, kind of in a meditative state, but you walk back on your timeline to go.

190

00:20:17.180 --> 00:20:18.890

Bobbie Maloy: When did this first start?

191

00:20:20.760 --> 00:20:21.810

Bobbie Maloy: And…

192

00:20:22.110 --> 00:20:27.679

Bobbie Maloy: There's a point in your life where, when you go to… you try to go backwards from that point, and you're like, nope.

193

00:20:27.830 --> 00:20:30.879

Bobbie Maloy: I didn't have this issue here. So you'll find where that point is.

194

00:20:31.830 --> 00:20:34.370

Bobbie Maloy: When you can work to heal that point.

195

00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:38.690

Bobbie Maloy: And it doesn't matter how old you were, because it could have been.

196

00:20:39.140 --> 00:20:45.870

Bobbie Maloy: you know, the, oh, I'm not, you know, who am I to… to speak up, right? Like, maybe that's one of yours.

197

00:20:46.030 --> 00:20:51.610

Bobbie Maloy: Maybe it was a time where you were like, oh my gosh, I'm really excited to show my mom this drawing that I did in school?

198

00:20:52.420 --> 00:20:59.840

Bobbie Maloy: And so what you, as this 8-year-old, is like, mom, mom, mom, look at this! And she's busy making dinner.

199

00:21:00.890 --> 00:21:02.819

Bobbie Maloy: So she's gonna go nut now, sweetheart.

200

00:21:03.310 --> 00:21:05.550

Bobbie Maloy: I'm busy with something else.

201

00:21:06.150 --> 00:21:09.020

Bobbie Maloy: Now, to an 8-year-old, that can be very traumatic.

202

00:21:09.650 --> 00:21:11.270

Bobbie Maloy: Because, oh my gosh.

203

00:21:12.260 --> 00:21:15.590

Bobbie Maloy: I'm not good enough to share, or to stop, or to get mom's attention.

204

00:21:16.750 --> 00:21:17.909

Bobbie Maloy: And that…

205

00:21:18.760 --> 00:21:30.420

Bobbie Maloy: seemingly small thing, then turns into, maybe I'm not going to show her the next one, or maybe I'm not gonna speak up, or maybe what I did wasn't good enough, and all these things, and it starts to stack.

206

00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:33.949

Bobbie Maloy: Over and over and over and over again, to where…

207

00:21:34.330 --> 00:21:36.569

Bobbie Maloy: Sometimes, as an adult, you're like, oh, man.

208

00:21:36.850 --> 00:21:41.540

Bobbie Maloy: Do I hit submit on, sub, you know, on saying that, hey, I want to be on this podcast?

209

00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:49.019

Bobbie Maloy: Right? Do I tell the world that I have this business, or do I play it small and just hope people find me?

210

00:21:50.450 --> 00:21:55.770

Bobbie Maloy: And so, when you go back and you re-parent, can you give that kid what she needed in the moment?

211

00:21:57.520 --> 00:22:04.719

Bobbie Maloy: Maybe it was a hug. Maybe it was that… just maybe it was, oh my gosh, this is amazing. Tell me more about it.

212

00:22:05.500 --> 00:22:08.149

Bobbie Maloy: It's not your parents' fault.

213

00:22:08.860 --> 00:22:12.489

Bobbie Maloy: Caveat, there are some times where, obviously, parents make bad decisions.

214

00:22:13.140 --> 00:22:14.529

Bobbie Maloy: But they're also just…

215

00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:21.029

Bobbie Maloy: They're doing… they're living their life, and sometimes, in what is a seemingly, you know, innocent moment.

216

00:22:21.450 --> 00:22:32.719

Bobbie Maloy: You, as the child, needed something in that moment that your parents may or may not have been even able to give you. So you, as the parent now, as the adult now, go back and you give it to yourself.

217

00:22:33.010 --> 00:22:36.540

Bobbie Maloy: And then you walk forward on your timeline with this.

218

00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:44.249

Bobbie Maloy: And now… So you mean it's not the end of the world? If I say, hey.

219

00:22:44.380 --> 00:22:48.250

Bobbie Maloy: I want to do this, but maybe I get crickets at first.

220

00:22:49.250 --> 00:22:55.770

Bobbie Maloy: And so that's where this idea of where you can actually really streamline and fast track

221

00:22:56.570 --> 00:23:03.990

Bobbie Maloy: the success of anything that you want to do, because now if I've got this 8-year-old who I'm working with instead of against.

222

00:23:04.340 --> 00:23:10.309

Bobbie Maloy: Who's now on my, you know, on my team, working with me and for me in the right way.

223

00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:15.359

Bobbie Maloy: Now when I do my therapies, and my meditations, and my vision boards.

224

00:23:16.760 --> 00:23:20.459

Bobbie Maloy: Things start happening and moving the way that they're supposed to.

225

00:23:21.090 --> 00:23:22.160

Bobbie Maloy: And that's…

226

00:23:22.270 --> 00:23:28.919

Bobbie Maloy: That's the power of getting to that idea of what's the originating issue that you're trying to work on.

227

00:23:30.770 --> 00:23:36.660

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. So, how do you work with people? Is it in groups, or is it one-on-one? Or is it a combination?

228

00:23:36.660 --> 00:23:46.729

Bobbie Maloy: It's… I have a combination of things. What I find really interesting about group work is so many people think that their issue is unique to them.

229

00:23:48.140 --> 00:24:03.489

Bobbie Maloy: And while that is definitely true for some things, most things it's not. Most things, somebody deals with it in one way, shape, or form. And so a lot of… sometimes group work can actually be more powerful for people than the individual one-on-one.

230

00:24:03.490 --> 00:24:13.999

Bobbie Maloy: But, I mean, obviously I have my book, I've got some packages that go around that, I've got a couple of courses, a group program, and I do one-on-one coaching as well, because…

231

00:24:15.040 --> 00:24:18.609

Bobbie Maloy: I find that people kind of need all those different layers.

232

00:24:20.440 --> 00:24:28.970

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: different people show up in different ways, also, and… and sometimes the big trauma, or big T trauma.

233

00:24:30.220 --> 00:24:33.540

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They need to approach healing from a…

234

00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:56.979

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: from a safe space until they realize that they really weren't the only one that went through that big T trauma. I mean, even some of the most horrific things I've run into people, multiple people, who've experienced those kinds of trauma events in their lives, so they're not alone, and most of them do think that they are totally… they're the only one.

235

00:24:57.340 --> 00:25:03.899

Bobbie Maloy: They do. And, you know, I want to be clear, I'm not a therapist, right? Like, there are some things that…

236

00:25:04.530 --> 00:25:13.949

Bobbie Maloy: I believe in therapy. I've, you know, I absolutely think that it's got its place. And…

237

00:25:14.360 --> 00:25:29.770

Bobbie Maloy: And we can continue… we can do, like, these surgical strikes on these, you know, these different things that have gone on in the past. And what's different about me from other, you know, from therapists, other than I am not a therapist, is I don't need the content

238

00:25:29.900 --> 00:25:31.730

Bobbie Maloy: Of what you're dealing with.

239

00:25:31.730 --> 00:25:32.380

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Right.

240

00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:37.769

Bobbie Maloy: So I don't need you to sit on a couch and tell me the story over and over and over again.

241

00:25:37.990 --> 00:25:45.440

Bobbie Maloy: We deal with the context of how your body feels it, how you're remembering it in your brain, how have you cataloged it.

242

00:25:46.210 --> 00:25:53.140

Bobbie Maloy: That is… is what's… is what makes this super powerful work.

243

00:25:53.740 --> 00:26:01.420

Bobbie Maloy: is you don't have to share those details. As long as you know what they are, you can still go through the process.

244

00:26:01.710 --> 00:26:04.560

Bobbie Maloy: And be guided through it to where…

245

00:26:04.710 --> 00:26:13.579

Bobbie Maloy: That voice, or that negative voice, that negative impact to you is no longer What it used to be.

246

00:26:14.810 --> 00:26:16.130

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's…

247

00:26:16.420 --> 00:26:21.780

Bobbie Maloy: Yeah, it can either be put aside if it's not helpful, or it at least isn't going to be

248

00:26:22.010 --> 00:26:33.569

Bobbie Maloy: not helpful going forward. And so you can either say, oh, am I going to use this going forward in a helpful and positive way, or am I okay saying, yes, it happened to me, because we're not erasing the past?

249

00:26:33.770 --> 00:26:35.970

Bobbie Maloy: But we're changing the way that it affects you now.

250

00:26:37.320 --> 00:26:43.630

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: A lot of the trauma that we experience in life, no matter how bad it is.

251

00:26:43.770 --> 00:26:46.730

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Is… is further made

252

00:26:46.950 --> 00:27:05.469

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: impactful in our lives by the stories we tell around it. It's not so much the event that happened. I've seen this in my own life, because it's not like… I know an event that was, like, the trigger for so much trauma in my life.

253

00:27:06.110 --> 00:27:13.940

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But I… Just knowing… going, taking the time to go back and identify when it happened.

254

00:27:14.110 --> 00:27:21.840

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What… what was the catalyst? And… And… Having an explanation

255

00:27:22.080 --> 00:27:29.189

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: for why it happened, for me, was helpful, so that I could move forward and not be, like.

256

00:27:29.530 --> 00:27:39.479

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: shackled by this… this memory that has really, like… it shaped all the other memories of my interactions with my mom, because of.

257

00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:41.030

Bobbie Maloy: Something that happened.

258

00:27:41.030 --> 00:27:41.780

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that…

259

00:27:42.060 --> 00:27:50.920

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I remembered one way for the longest time, and now I choose to remember it a different way that's more empowering for me.

260

00:27:53.530 --> 00:27:56.299

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: She probably doesn't even remember it.

261

00:27:56.770 --> 00:28:01.499

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: she's passed on, so I don't think that I could ever talk to her about it, but…

262

00:28:01.500 --> 00:28:08.319

Bobbie Maloy: And that happens so often. So, like, you know, you get a… you get your teacher in third grade who's like, oh man,

263

00:28:08.750 --> 00:28:10.350

Bobbie Maloy: We might not be good at math.

264

00:28:11.170 --> 00:28:19.720

Bobbie Maloy: Right? Yeah. And then you internalize this. That teacher doesn't remember that they told you that you might not be good at math, but you'll internalize that, because depending on, you know.

265

00:28:19.970 --> 00:28:27.810

Bobbie Maloy: if you really like that teacher, and maybe you made a mistake, or maybe you just… maybe you had it in your paper, and you're like, I got, like, 4 out of 10…

266

00:28:28.920 --> 00:28:30.550

Bobbie Maloy: But that sticks with you.

267

00:28:31.070 --> 00:28:34.139

Bobbie Maloy: And what's funny is, you don't get a say in what

268

00:28:34.440 --> 00:28:45.520

Bobbie Maloy: and what initially leads to this inner child going, -oh, I have to protect from this in the future. We don't get a say in it. We do get a say, however, as an adult on…

269

00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:47.420

Bobbie Maloy: How to interact with it.

270

00:28:47.770 --> 00:28:51.180

Bobbie Maloy: So that we can go, hey, Guess what? We made it.

271

00:28:51.330 --> 00:28:54.649

Bobbie Maloy: We're a little bit older now. We've got some more resources.

272

00:28:55.530 --> 00:28:58.310

Bobbie Maloy: So, you're talking about, you know, the body remembers.

273

00:28:58.420 --> 00:29:07.199

Bobbie Maloy: Have you ever been in a conversation, like, with somebody, and all of a sudden, like, your shoulder will start itching? For no reason? You're like… and then, like, you'll ignore it.

274

00:29:07.310 --> 00:29:10.450

Bobbie Maloy: And then it, like, almost, it's like, if you don't…

275

00:29:10.840 --> 00:29:16.389

Bobbie Maloy: go, what's going on here? It gets worse and worse and worse and worse.

276

00:29:17.030 --> 00:29:26.620

Bobbie Maloy: And then eventually, it turns from, like, your shoulder to, like, like, now you're moving like this, or even if you're scratching it, but you're still not addressing what's actually causing the problem. Eventually, you're like…

277

00:29:26.910 --> 00:29:31.630

Bobbie Maloy: It gets louder and louder and louder so that your body has no choice but to deal with the issue.

278

00:29:32.660 --> 00:29:37.209

Bobbie Maloy: Well, that could be an inner you going, hey.

279

00:29:37.410 --> 00:29:42.139

Bobbie Maloy: This conversation isn't good for us, or hey, there's something you need to be paying attention to here.

280

00:29:43.080 --> 00:29:55.590

Bobbie Maloy: And that's what I really help people with, is going, maybe these are the signals. So instead of, the boss sent you an email, or you send out an email to your employees.

281

00:29:55.780 --> 00:29:59.660

Bobbie Maloy: And maybe you get crickets back, even though you wanted a response, so what is a lot, you know…

282

00:29:59.870 --> 00:30:15.100

Bobbie Maloy: Why is nobody listening to me? Right? Like, you'll go to this extreme, response, you know, where the boss sends you an email, and now you're like, oh my gosh, I'm being called into the principal's office, so I feel so small, what am I gonna do here? Like, when you… we have these unhelpful responses.

283

00:30:15.730 --> 00:30:19.129

Bobbie Maloy: Instead of having these massive swings, maybe it's, huh.

284

00:30:19.600 --> 00:30:29.229

Bobbie Maloy: I wonder if there's something else going on here. Maybe I can go inside instead of paying attention to all these external sources and things that I've learned over the years. Maybe I go inside and go.

285

00:30:29.620 --> 00:30:37.470

Bobbie Maloy: what is this… what is really going on? Is this… is my reaction…

286

00:30:38.180 --> 00:30:42.470

Bobbie Maloy: Normal for the type of event that has just happened.

287

00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:52.710

Bobbie Maloy: And we see a lot of this with our parents, especially if you've had a strained relationship with your parents, like a mom that says, you know, hey, how are you doing? Am I gonna see you for Thanksgiving?

288

00:30:53.330 --> 00:31:04.130

Bobbie Maloy: Might be a normal thing for a parent to ask, but if you've got a strained relationship, now you can take something like that, going, oh my god, she's gonna want this, and all these types of things, and we could spin out of control.

289

00:31:04.380 --> 00:31:05.760

Bobbie Maloy: If we're not…

290

00:31:06.260 --> 00:31:12.179

Bobbie Maloy: Understanding and kind of internal, instead of listening to all those external things that are going on.

291

00:31:13.180 --> 00:31:20.260

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, huh? I… Happens all the time, and until we slow down and realize.

292

00:31:20.820 --> 00:31:28.799

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the… It doesn't have to be this way, for one thing, and that there are resources out there, and…

293

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:41.699

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Even for, like, self-help junkies, this is a different approach. It's not a do-it-by-yourself, read the book, and hope you get results. It's come…

294

00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:43.610

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Talk to Bobby.

295

00:31:44.350 --> 00:31:48.369

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: See what you can do to,

296

00:31:49.300 --> 00:31:52.499

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Take small steps in the beginning, and one of them was…

297

00:31:52.500 --> 00:31:53.660

Bobbie Maloy: Absolutely.

298

00:31:53.660 --> 00:31:59.530

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: would be maybe doing your free guided tap into unlimited confidence in 5 minutes.

299

00:31:59.700 --> 00:32:04.979

Bobbie Maloy: Yes, that's one of my most favorite exercises, by the way, that, that I've,

300

00:32:05.310 --> 00:32:09.440

Bobbie Maloy: kind of put together. So many people are like… they don't…

301

00:32:09.550 --> 00:32:19.599

Bobbie Maloy: feel like they have the confidence to take that next step, to pick up the phone and call clients, to make the post that they know they need, like, all of the things. Like, there's something that you're like.

302

00:32:20.410 --> 00:32:22.320

Bobbie Maloy: I don't really know that I want to do this.

303

00:32:23.320 --> 00:32:28.119

Bobbie Maloy: Or, something that you have to do over and over and over again that you're just like.

304

00:32:28.540 --> 00:32:31.279

Bobbie Maloy: I cannot get the motivation to do it.

305

00:32:31.780 --> 00:32:33.439

Bobbie Maloy: This type of exercise.

306

00:32:33.880 --> 00:32:41.560

Bobbie Maloy: truly one of my favorite exercises is absolutely worth doing, because it allows you to intentionally

307

00:32:42.300 --> 00:32:45.849

Bobbie Maloy: Tap into the confidence that you already have in your body.

308

00:32:46.240 --> 00:32:55.979

Bobbie Maloy: And it allows you to use that in the moment. Now, it's not a permanent, I'm always confident kind of exercise, but it will get you to the point where you can go.

309

00:32:56.830 --> 00:33:01.620

Bobbie Maloy: I need to take this next step, and I'm struggling for a reason. Let me tap into some confidence.

310

00:33:01.900 --> 00:33:07.659

Bobbie Maloy: So that you can take that next step and continue moving, which, by the way, enhances your confidence.

311

00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:17.199

Bobbie Maloy: to take that motion and everything like that. So this is one of… it is truly one of my absolutely favorite exercises ever to do and to run my clients through.

312

00:33:18.210 --> 00:33:24.010

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Amazing. And they can get that at AlignedSelfMethod.com forward slash confidence, correct?

313

00:33:24.010 --> 00:33:25.690

Bobbie Maloy: Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

314

00:33:26.670 --> 00:33:32.230

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Great. Thank you so much for joining us today, Bobby. This has been a great conversation.

315

00:33:32.370 --> 00:33:37.419

Bobbie Maloy: Thank you, thank you for, for having me here. I enjoy sharing this message with

316

00:33:37.650 --> 00:33:41.240

Bobbie Maloy: everybody. And I think if it can help at least one person.

317

00:33:41.240 --> 00:33:42.690

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Understand that…

318

00:33:43.450 --> 00:33:44.690

Bobbie Maloy: It's okay.

319

00:33:44.810 --> 00:33:51.210

Bobbie Maloy: And there are ways to… there's ways to be more helpful and more resourceful for yourself, then it's absolutely worth it.

320

00:33:51.750 --> 00:33:57.919

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: For sure, for sure. And you've given people so many great Places to start looking.

321

00:33:57.940 --> 00:34:07.380

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I really encourage you to, learn more about Bobbi and her free guide, Tap Into Unlimited Confidence, in 5 Minutes.

322

00:34:07.380 --> 00:34:17.520

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you can do that by visiting alignedselfmethod.com forward slash confidence, and we'll be sure to put that in the show notes below. Thanks for tuning in with us today.

323

00:34:17.520 --> 00:34:39.519

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to the You World Order Showcase Podcast. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission, and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head to thecoachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. Be sure to join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency. And remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world. Start today and get this.