LGBTQ History Month isn't just about the past.

It's about the rights being stripped away right now.

Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast helping parents of LGBTQ kids move from fear to fierce allyship and feel less alone and more informed so you can protect what matters, raise brave kids, and spark collective change.

I'm Heather Hester.

Let's get started.

Foreign.

You'll learn about key LGBTQ rights won in past decades.

You'll see how those same rights are being challenged today, and you'll discover why allyship and visibility remain urgent.

And stay tuned for today's Unlearn, where I will break down the myth that progress is urgent, permanent.

Welcome back to More Human, More Kind.

I'm Heather Hester.

October is LGBTQ History Month.

But history isn't just in the past.

Our rights, the rights our elders fought and bled for, are under fire again right now.

And the question is, what will we do about it?

If you're listening, you care about truth, justice, and the safety of your kids and communities.

But I also know the struggle is real.

Fear spreads faster than facts, Misinformation shapes perception, and silence can feel safer than speaking up.

In this episode, you'll learn about the key LGBTQ rights won in past decades, how those same rights are being challenged today, and what it means for each of us to show up as active allies, not just in celebration, but in defense.

Because progress isn't permanent.

It's something every generation must choose to protect.

You might think that history is old news, no more than dusty dates in a textbook, but here's the interruption to that.

History is happening right now.

It's happening in school board meetings, in state legislatures, in your child's classroom, and it's happening in silence every single time we assume someone else will speak up.

Honoring LGBTQ History Month is different than celebrating Pride in June.

During Pride, we celebrate historical people and events, but we don't necessarily take a deep dive on the who, what, when, where, and why of their existence and importance.

As we are seeing in real time, history does repeat itself.

And there's nothing like terrifying current events to remind us the importance of fully understanding history.

So let's start by remembering what's been gained.

Because every right we hold today was once considered impossible.

In June 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn, a small gay bar in New York City's Greenwich Village.

Raids weren't unusual, but on this particular June evening, the patrons fought back.

Trans women of color like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera stood at the front lines.

Their defiance sparked days of protests and ignited the modern LGBTQ rights movement.

For the first time, queer people demanded to be seen not as criminals, but as citizens, as human beings.

In 1973, the American Psychiatric association removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders.

It took years of activism by groups like the Gay Liberation Front and ACT up, who challenged a medical establishment that had pathologized queer existence.

When the AIDS epidemic began in the 1980s, the US government was largely silent, and silence is actually a nice word for what they were.

But that is a longer conversation for another day.

Thousands of gay men, trans women, and allies died while leaders looked away.

Out of that silence rose groups like ACT UP and Queer Nation, whose slogan silence equals death became a rallying cry.

Their courage forced public awareness, medical funding, education, and compassion.

In 2011, don't ask, don't tell was repealed.

For nearly 17 years, LGBTQ people in the US military were forced to hide their identities.

This repeal allowed them to serve openly, which was a huge milestone for dignity and truth.

In 2015, in the Obergefell vs Hodges case, this US Supreme Court declared marriage equality a constitutional right.

It was a joyous, long fought victory that represented decades of organizing.

From the Mattachine society in the 1950s to modern groups like the Human Rights Campaign and Lambda Legal.

History moves in waves, and progress, as we're seeing now, is never guaranteed.

As of this recording, the ACLU is tracking 616 anti LGBTQ bills and legislatures at all levels of government across the United States.

This is more than any other time in modern history.

These bills target every aspect of queer life, including trans health care bans, which criminalize doctors for providing gender affirming care.

Book bans, which remove stories about queer and trans people from classrooms and libraries.

In fact, PEN America's 2023 Banned in the USA report found that 41% of all banned titles contain LGBTQ themes.

These bills include drag bans, which restrict performances, and pride events under vague obscenity laws.

Bathroom bills are resurfacing policing, who can use which facilities.

And don't say gay laws attempt to silence teachers from acknowledging LGBTQ existence at all.

According to the Trevor Project's 2023 national survey, 86% of LGBTQ youth reported negative impacts on their mental health due to political debates about their rights.

This is the modern witch hunt.

It may not use fire, but it uses fear, legislation and erasure to the same effect to control visibility, to keep power centralized, to divide communities.

We like to believe the arc of history always bends toward justice.

But the truth is, it bends only when people Pull on it.

Progress is not self sustaining.

It's fragile.

Every generation must defend what the last one won.

As sociologist Arlene Stein writes, queer history is not a straight line from oppression to liberation.

It's a spiral that looks like this.

Repeating, revisiting, resisting.

That means parents, educators, and allies have a vital role right now, not as passive supporters, but as active participants in shaping the next chapter.

So what can we do as parents and allies?

Well, first, we can teach the real history.

We can share stories from before our kids were born.

We can share stories of Stonewall, ACT up, marriage equality.

We can let them know these rights were fought for, not given.

Second, we can connect the past to the present when a book is banned or a policy targets trans students.

Explain this is what erasure looks like and we know how dangerous it is.

Help them to see the patterns.

Silencing one group never stops there.

The third thing we can do is model everyday action.

We can attend school board meetings, library meetings, PFLAG or individual meetings.

If this is your jam and you love doing this stuff, find your local advocacy group and volunteer.

Support local queer youth centers and pride events.

And then finally call and email your state and federal Congress members.

When legislation arises, your voice matters more than you think.

And then finally, speak up, even when actually, especially when it's uncomfortable.

Silence often masquerades as politeness, as niceness.

But in moments of injustice, silence sides with the oppressor model.

What courage looks like being kind over being nice, being steady and consistent and always coming from a place of love.

The summer before Connor's senior year in high school, we took a family trip to New York City.

This is, of course, the same trip when Connor fell in love with NYU and the city itself.

And it's also when I visited Stonewall for the very first time.

And I remember standing in that little park across the street from the bar, reading all of the stories that were there.

The stories of, of course, Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, but of so many others who played really key parts.

And I was just overcome with awe and gratitude.

And standing in that space, space felt just very sacred.

I felt awe, I think, just for the joy, the knowing, the freedom that came from that.

And then, of course, gratitude for all of those people who just couldn't stand by anymore, all of those decades ago, the ones who, of course, fought and marched, and the ones who supported and loved in all the ways that they did.

And now all of that gratitude and joy and awe sits alongside anger.

As I see drag queens being silenced, as I see queer Books being pulled off of shelves.

And as I see trans kids, trans people criminalized for existing, both feelings live in me at once.

Gratitude to honor the past and anger to protect the future.

And both are fuel.

Because love alone, I have learned, does not preserve rights.

I do feel both heartbreak and hope right now, sometimes one more than the other.

I feel heartbreak that all of these rights that we talked about today are once again being debated like they're optional.

But I also feel hope.

I still feel hope because more of us are paying attention.

I have seen parents showing up at school board meetings to defend inclusive policies.

I've seen more and more kids forming gay straight alliances and small towns where they might be the only out student.

All of these things are courageous.

History is not just the stories we read from the past.

History is in the stories we are living and writing right now.

So I want you to take just a moment and think about which of these LGBTQ rights that we talked about or even didn't talk about, but that you know are active most impact your family today.

How do you talk about both progress and backlash with your kids?

And what is one action you could take this month to honor LGBTQ History Month?

Kindness?

Here is solidarity.

It's saying, your fight is my fight.

Even when it costs you something.

Even when silence would be easier.

Especially when it costs you something.

And silence would be easier.

Because allyship without discomfort isn't allyship, it's convenience.

Today's Unlearn is about one of the most dangerous myths that we carry, that progress is permanent.

We like to believe that once a law is passed, the work is done, but history tells us otherwise.

Current events tell us otherwise.

Rights can be reversed.

Books can be banned.

Visibility can be erased.

So what if instead we saw progress not as a finish line, but as a living ecosystem, something that needs tending, vigilance and care.

This week, share one LGBTQ historical figure with your child.

It could be Harvey Milk, Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Audra Lord.

You pick and connect their story to something happening right now.

A book ban, a protest, a policy debate.

And let them see how the thread continues.

When we unlearn complacency, we reimagine allyship as a daily practice.

Today, we revisited LGBTQ history not as nostalgia, but as instruction.

We remembered the courage that brought us here and the vigilance it will take to move forward.

Progress doesn't live in laws.

It lives in us, in every classroom, every conversation, every act of visibility.

And while some days it may feel like we're moving backward, the story is far from over and we are the authors now.

Thank you so much for showing up in this space with an open heart, open mind, and so, so much courage.

This work is heavy and it is sacred.

Remember that new episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday, so make sure you follow and subscribe so you never miss one.

And for resources, reflection, prompts and ways to take action, visit MoreHumanMoreKind.com and sign up for my weekly newsletter.

Until next time, stay curious, stay kind, and keep bending that arc toward justice.

Sam.