Today, my friend, I'm about to introduce you to one of the most amazing, heart driven souls I've ever had the pleasure to meet.
Kevin LoweAnd I can guarantee you this is that if you choose to listen to this full interview, you're gonna come to love this woman as much as I do.
Kevin LoweAnd truth be told, you'll most likely have a few tears rolling down your cheek.
Kevin LoweBut trust me, they're good tears.
Kevin LoweBut here's the thing, my friend.
Kevin LoweWhat you're about to hear is more than any of that.
Kevin LoweBecause what you're about to hear today is a story, a message, a God given gift that was honestly designed just for you.
Kevin LoweAnd yes, I said you.
Kevin LoweBecause if you choose to listen all the way to the end, and why would you not listen all the way to the end?
Kevin LoweYoure going to hear me.
Kevin LoweAnd todays guest, Kaylee Z, in a really heartfelt discussion about the challenges of life and what they mean.
Kevin LoweWhy were here?
Kevin LoweWhy were doing what we do?
Kevin LoweBecause when I met Kaylee, me and her, we realized, wow, we share so many common bonds.
Kevin LoweEven though we come from total different walks of life, we both share this common bond to want to make a difference in your life.
Kevin LoweBecause, my friend, if I can help you, because of what I've gone through, because of the maybe life lessons I've learned, the insight that I've gained, then I say it with all honesty, it's made it all worth it.
Kevin LoweBecause if I can help just one person, and maybe that's you today, then again, it's all been worth it.
Kevin LoweAnd with that, my friend, I hope that sets the stage for one of the most heartwarming, heartfelt, amazing interviews I've ever done with one of the most incredible people that I have ever been blessed to meet.
Kevin LoweHer name is Kaylee Z.
Kevin LoweAnd it's all right here, right now, inside of our 333rd episode of Grit, grace, and inspiration.
Kevin LoweYo, are you ready to flip the script on life?
Kevin LoweCause those bad days, they're just doors to better days.
Kevin LoweAnd that's exactly what we do here at grit, grace, and inspiration.
Kevin LoweYour host, Kevin Lowe, he's been flipping the script on his own life, turning over 20 years of being completely blind into straight up inspiration, motivation, and encouragement just for you.
Kevin LoweSo kick back, relax, and let me introduce you to your, your host, Kevin Lowe.
Kevin LoweWhat's up, my friend?
Kevin LoweAnd welcome back to another amazing interview here on the podcast.
Kevin LoweToday, I am in the studio with none other than Kaylee z.
Kevin LoweKaylee, welcome to the podcast.
Kaylee ZThanks so much, Kevin.
Kaylee ZI'm so excited to be here.
Kevin LoweOh, my goodness.
Kevin LoweI am so excited.
Kevin LoweYou know, it's been so long since we first talked, and I have just been dying to get back in the studio with you so that we could really continue this conversation.
Kevin LoweYour story is so powerful for so many different reasons.
Kevin LoweI feel always is the best is to kind of start at the beginning.
Kevin LoweAnd so would you mind kind of giving me a snapshot?
Kevin LoweI'm curious kind of who you were before Ms ever even entered the picture.
Kaylee ZSo, first of all, just to make sure our listeners know, you said Ms.
Kaylee ZSo it's multiple sclerosis, which I know sometimes people can get confused.
Kaylee ZWho I was before, you know, Kevin, it's such a.
Kaylee ZIt's such a great question.
Kaylee ZI don't get asked it often.
Kaylee ZI was a kid, I, at the time, thought was like a normal little girl.
Kaylee ZThrough my diagnosis, I realized was not so normal.
Kaylee ZAll I cared about was school and my grades, literally, as a child, as a young child.
Kaylee ZAnd I wasn't very social.
Kaylee ZI didn't play a lot.
Kaylee ZIt was.
Kaylee ZI had this, like, intense perfectionist pressure from a very young age.
Kaylee ZSo that's who I was before.
Kaylee ZThat was my life before.
Kaylee ZI don't know many like, you know, 910 year olds like that.
Kaylee ZBut that's how I was.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweNow, were you a perfectionist just with things related to school or, like, other things, even outside of school?
Kaylee ZYeah, that was sort of my personality in all ways.
Kaylee ZIt just.
Kaylee ZI wanted to do things right.
Kaylee ZI had an intense drive to do things right, to do things a certain way, and was really.
Kaylee ZNow, of course, as an adult and doing a lot of deep emotional work and psychological work, I now understand there was a lot of, you know, trying to get approval, trying to be seen, trying to get love was like, oh, maybe if I do it right, maybe if I do it like this, maybe if I get 100%, you know?
Kaylee ZSo I understand that now.
Kaylee ZThat was my personality at the time.
Kevin LoweYeah, absolutely.
Kevin LoweOut of curiosity, you know, a lot of times as kids, we have dreams of a future, whether it's a career or what we think adulthood would be like.
Kevin LoweDid you have any specific career aspirations at that age?
Kaylee ZYeah, it's so fun, Kevin.
Kaylee ZLike, I'm like, wow, okay.
Kaylee ZPeople really don't ask me these questions.
Kaylee ZIt's so much fun for me because, you know, when you do a lot of interviews, you start to kind of.
Kaylee ZIt becomes almost routine, and it's easy to feel like you're just saying the same thing over and over.
Kaylee ZAnd this is really fun for me.
Kaylee ZSo thank you for bringing a freshen approach anyway, so, yeah, I always wanted to be a doctor.
Kaylee ZSince a very, very young age, I had wanted to be a doctor.
Kaylee ZI spoke about that all the time.
Kevin LoweWow.
Kevin LoweNow, what kind of doctor did you have that specific?
Kaylee ZNo, I wasn't specific yet, no.
Kevin LoweOkay.
Kevin LoweAmazing.
Kevin LoweSo, doctor.
Kaylee ZYeah, I'll just.
Kaylee ZSorry, I'll just say one more thing.
Kaylee ZThat vision stayed with me, interestingly, all through high school and up through my first year of college.
Kaylee ZAnd in college, I was pre med.
Kaylee ZAnd it was the absolute, like, grueling.
Kaylee ZJust the worst.
Kaylee ZIt's torture.
Kaylee ZBeing in organic chemistry was absolute torture.
Kaylee ZAnd it made.
Kaylee ZI had to face myself and be like, why are you doing this?
Kaylee ZLike, oh, because I want to be a doctor.
Kaylee ZAnd I was like, why?
Kaylee ZLike, do you actually want to be a doctor?
Kaylee ZOr is that just the thing you've literally said your entire life?
Kaylee ZI was like, oh, oh.
Kaylee ZThat's literally just a thing I've said my whole life.
Kaylee ZI don't actually want that.
Kaylee ZOh, crap.
Kaylee ZNow what?
Kaylee ZStart from square one.
Kaylee ZSo I'm just sharing from a young, young child, all my years, through everything, even diagnosis, didn't waver.
Kaylee ZThat vision, which I'm so surprised by, because it could be so easy to think, like, that'd be really hard to get through medical school with a diagnosis.
Kaylee ZPeople do it, you know?
Kaylee ZBut the fact that that didn't even alter my quote unquote dream.
Kaylee ZBut then I realized, oh, that's not my dream.
Kaylee ZIsn't that crazy that we go, like, our whole lives sometimes and not realize that, oh, I don't actually want that.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweAnd I mean, I think, honestly, I think that's something.
Kevin LoweI think it's more common than we even realized.
Kevin LoweI think there's so many times that we get so focused on chasing something that we never actually take the time to take a pause and really ask ourselves those deep questions of, but why?
Kevin LoweWhy do I want this?
Kevin LoweYou know?
Kaylee ZExactly.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweWell.
Kevin LoweWell, I would say for somebody who had ambitions of becoming a doctor as a young child, I mean, you grew up.
Kevin LoweI would say you grew up pretty quick.
Kevin LoweGoing through medical issues is something that I feel causes any child to grow up much too fast.
Kaylee ZA thousand percent.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZIt was, in a weird way, I think, you know, my personality, as I shared with you, it was like this perfectionist, and I was already very much.
Kaylee ZI took on a lot of responsibility, so in a weird way, I was able to step into that quite seamlessly, but there wasn't really much childhood at all.
Kaylee ZI had to learn and I still have to learn, I still as an adult, have to learn how to play.
Kaylee ZMy son, who's almost one, teaches me that a lot.
Kaylee ZI'm like, oh wow, like I could just laugh.
Kaylee ZI could just like feel the wind and just giggle.
Kaylee ZLike, okay, let's do that.
Kaylee ZSo, yeah, there wasn't, I was immediately making my own medical decisions.
Kaylee ZI mean, from beginning to end.
Kaylee ZYou hit the nail on the head.
Kaylee ZI had to grow up very fast.
Kevin LoweYeah, well, talk to me about actually the whole diagnosis.
Kevin LoweHow did this even come about?
Kevin LoweI'm curious to know if you'd been having signs and symptoms for a long time.
Kevin LoweI'm just curious how, how as a young child you would end up receiving such a diagnosis.
Kaylee ZSure.
Kaylee ZSo when I was twelve years old, I went to a friend for a sleepover and I woke up feeling sick to my stomach.
Kaylee ZAnd what was causing that feeling was a symptom called nystagmus, where the eyes are rapidly moving right to left.
Kaylee ZThat was my first attack or exacerbation as it's called in the MS world.
Kaylee ZAnd, and at the same time I could barely stand and it felt like ants were crawling all over my feet.
Kaylee ZSo now, I didn't know that, I didn't know my eyes were rapidly moving and no one did.
Kaylee ZI just felt so sick.
Kaylee ZIt was like having a really, really severe flu.
Kaylee ZSo it was sort of overnight one moment to the next, thats what was happening.
Kaylee ZAnd that continued for the next 30 days.
Kaylee ZAnd so I got, I basically, in order to adapt to that, and you and I were earlier, before we started recording, talking about how you adapt to vision issues, I just kept my eyes closed for 30 days because if I opened them, I would just throw up.
Kaylee ZSo I was like, okay, that doesnt work out because the room was spinning, right?
Kaylee ZMy eyes were rapidly moving, the whole world was spinning.
Kaylee ZSo that was the first 30 days.
Kaylee ZAnd that feeling of those ants on my feet moved all the way up my legs to my hips.
Kaylee ZSo that was constant, 24/7 this really uncomfortable feeling in my legs.
Kaylee ZI needed help to walk.
Kaylee ZI was really off balance and weak.
Kaylee ZAnd during those 30 days, really no one knew what was going on.
Kaylee ZOf course the doctors and the medical team knew there was something serious.
Kaylee ZI mean, right away I was in an MRI, things that people wait months to get, they were just like, okay, this needs to happen immediately.
Kaylee ZLike they knew something was, was serious and yet no one wanted to diagnose a twelve year old with Ms.
Kaylee ZSo even though these were classic symptoms and classic onset, it was pretty much unheard of.
Kaylee ZI was living in California at the time.
Kaylee ZThere was a record of one other child being diagnosed in the entire state of California.
Kaylee ZSo it was so unheard of.
Kaylee ZAnd we had to go to doctors.
Kaylee ZWe were on Skype, which was very new at the time and not great technology, you know, Skyping doctors all over the world to figure out, like, what's going on.
Kaylee ZAnd ultimately, it was just a fear factor.
Kaylee ZNo one wanted to say it.
Kaylee ZAnd then what do you tell a kid?
Kaylee ZLike, we don't know if there's medication that is appropriate for you.
Kaylee ZSo that was the first month, the second month, the second 30 days I woke up.
Kaylee ZI had come into a routine.
Kaylee ZI got into this routine that I don't know if you can relate to this, but as you know, one is experiencing symptoms and changes in your body.
Kaylee ZYou start to kind of.
Kaylee ZYou need to have a check in process of, like, what's working, what's not working, what is today, you know?
Kaylee ZAnd so every morning, my mom would get my brother off to school and then come sit by my bed, and we would do our check in.
Kaylee ZLike, how are my toes?
Kaylee ZCan I feel them?
Kaylee ZLike, can I move them?
Kaylee ZWhat's working?
Kaylee ZThen go up to my knees, and, like, I would just go up through the body, and the last thing I would do is open my eyes.
Kaylee ZAnd of course, every morning, we were hoping that that would be the day that I would see fine and my eyes would not be moving.
Kaylee ZAnd I remember the morning that I opened my eyes looking at my mom, and I go, you're not spinning.
Kaylee ZAnd it was like.
Kaylee ZIt was this incredible moment.
Kaylee ZAnd then I go, but there are two of you.
Kaylee ZAnd, I mean, I'm laughing now at the moment, obviously, what's not funny, because I was just, like.
Kaylee ZIt was a very confusing, like, mixed feeling of this incredible relief.
Kaylee ZI yearned for and waited for, for 30 days to just see normally.
Kaylee ZAnd then I had double vision.
Kaylee ZSo then I had double vision for the next 30 days.
Kaylee ZSo I also was very uncomfortable.
Kaylee ZJust kept my eyes closed.
Kaylee ZSo it's just interesting to share this.
Kaylee ZI just want to say this to you, Kevin.
Kaylee ZIt's so interesting for me.
Kaylee ZIt feels very different for me to share it with you.
Kevin LoweYes.
Kaylee ZBecause I tell this story all the time, and I'm like.
Kaylee ZAnd people are just, like, in this wonder and awe that.
Kaylee ZWait, what do you mean you just kept your eyes closed?
Kaylee ZLike, what?
Kaylee ZAnd I'm like, oh, well, you know exactly what this is like.
Kaylee ZI'm like, this is.
Kaylee ZThis is, like, so weird for me to tell you because you actually get it.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweAnd not only do I get that, but I also, I kind of help but think when, when you talked about every morning waiting to open your eyes, seeing if, if this eye condition was gone.
Kevin LoweAnd I can remember for so very long, every morning, opening my eyes, hoping that God had healed me overnight.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kevin LoweAnd it's a harsh reality when something you have isn't able to easily be fixed.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kevin LoweHow long would it end up taking for them to finally say that you have this?
Kaylee ZFrom day one, it was 90 days.
Kaylee ZIt was three months.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZAnd in an interesting way, I have such an affinity for the doctor who finally diagnosed me because it really was, it was him, like having compassion and mercy.
Kaylee ZLike I needed answers, I needed, you know, direction.
Kaylee ZAnd it was so, it was so obvious and just no one wanted to say that.
Kaylee ZAnd, you know, I have so much gratitude, even though I've gone a very different direction than the medical system, you know, over the years and throughout my lifetime, I'll always have gratitude to him.
Kaylee ZDoctor Myers at UCLA, always.
Kaylee ZThat was a life changing moment.
Kaylee ZAnd he sat with me as a twelve year old.
Kaylee ZHe did not sit with my parents.
Kaylee ZHe sat with me and he spoke to me and took all the time I needed.
Kaylee ZHe answered my questions.
Kaylee ZWe talked about the future.
Kaylee ZIt was a treasured moment in my life, which is weird, but my diagnosis was a really powerful moment for me.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweWow.
Kevin LoweKnowing what it's like to be with doctors, to hear this story that you share, that's such a powerful moment.
Kevin LoweBecause I feel like we live in a society that we marvel.
Kevin LoweSuperheroes are the ones on the football field, the ones on the movie screen, where I really look at it like that guy.
Kevin LoweHe's the real superhero, 1000%.
Kaylee ZAnd we never know the impact we're going to have on a person.
Kaylee ZWe never know what that 10 seconds or ten minutes or 4 hours, you just don't know what impact you have on someone's life, especially a child's life.
Kaylee ZAnd the first neurologist I saw, very, very beginning of the journey without a diagnosis, without knowing much, he took one look at my Mri, the brain scan, and said, you're gonna be in a wheelchair by the end of high school.
Kaylee ZDon't plan on going to college.
Kaylee ZIt's like the polar opposite.
Kaylee ZIn 5 seconds, he could have just taken away my life, you know?
Kaylee ZI mean, I also know I am responsible for my own life.
Kaylee ZSo I hope that eventually I would have realized it wasn't on him.
Kaylee ZBut, you know, what you say has an impact.
Kaylee ZIt matters and it has power.
Kaylee ZAnd then in contrast, I'm so grateful that ultimately the diagnosis came from someone with so much compassion and care and presence, because it just was night and day.
Kaylee ZSo those moments matter.
Kaylee ZAnd you're right.
Kaylee ZIt's like to me, Doctor Myers is the superhero, the other guy, like, complete jerk.
Kaylee ZI could say some words.
Kaylee ZI have some words for him.
Kaylee ZYes, you're right.
Kaylee ZIt's those people that are going to take the time that realize there's a child here that's going to change the rest of her life.
Kaylee ZBe intentional in your words.
Kaylee ZBe intentional in how you show up.
Kevin LoweYeah, absolutely.
Kevin LoweI love it.
Kevin LoweTalk to me about after this appointment, after finally being told that you have this condition, that I would love for you first and foremost to talk to me about a little bit more about exactly what MS is for those of us who aren't familiar with it.
Kevin LoweAnd then kind of my follow up question that I was going to initially ask Washington, how does your view on life in the future change at that point as a child?
Kaylee ZYeah, so MS is an autoimmune disease, which means that the immune system is attacking the body and the immune cells attack.
Kaylee ZA protective coating of our nerves in the brain and spinal cord.
Kaylee ZAnd the brain is a supercomputer of the body.
Kaylee ZSo if that is being attacked, anything can happen with MS.
Kaylee ZAs I had shared, there were vision problems, walking problems, I'd been paralyzed.
Kaylee ZI've had times when all my internal organs shut down.
Kaylee ZI've had speech problems, cognition issues, memory issues.
Kaylee ZIt really can affect anything and everything.
Kaylee ZThere are different types of MS.
Kaylee ZThe type that I was diagnosed with is called relapsing remitting, which means that I could have a relapse, which is what all of you just heard.
Kaylee ZThat first initial onset of several symptoms, that's a relapse.
Kaylee ZAnd then I could go into remission.
Kaylee ZSo I could have times of either complete health or better health.
Kaylee ZAnd I really never went back to complete health after that.
Kaylee ZI mean, until years later, now, thank God.
Kaylee ZBut throughout the time of my life when I was living with disease, going into remission would just kind of be.
Kaylee ZI had, like my own baseline, where even in my baseline, the symptoms that remained were usually weakness, pain, and fatigue.
Kaylee ZAnd pain and fatigue, I always say, are like the absolute worst.
Kaylee ZLike, you can.
Kaylee ZYou can be sitting in pain, no one knows that you.
Kaylee ZIt's like, I would rather be on a morphine drip right now, and the morphine won't help.
Kaylee ZI can't tell you how many times I went to an emergency room, and they're just like, we can't do anything for you.
Kaylee ZAnd I'm like, okay, this is like, you're just in torture.
Kaylee ZYou're just being tortured.
Kaylee ZSo that's Ms.
Kaylee ZAnd there are different types of MS.
Kaylee ZSo when people think of MS, they do tend to think wheelchair.
Kaylee ZFirst of all, that's very different today.
Kaylee ZIt's not how it used to be.
Kaylee ZThere's way more medication available, much more information available.
Kaylee ZPeople live very well today with Ms.
Kaylee ZBut again, it's a case by case basis and depends on the type of Ms.
Kaylee ZSo that's Ms.
Kaylee ZHow did it change, like, my vision of the future?
Kaylee ZIs that what you asked?
Kevin LoweIt was.
Kevin LoweI was going to say, I totally set you up for disaster because I hate when people ask me a double question.
Kaylee ZIt's totally fine.
Kaylee ZI do it all the time.
Kaylee ZI find myself doing all the time, like, oh, man, I shouldn't have asked two questions.
Kaylee ZJust let's see how that goes, right?
Kaylee ZSo it shifted everything for me.
Kaylee ZIt shifted everything for me.
Kaylee ZI realized that all I really had was the present moment.
Kaylee ZAnd this idea, this pressure that I was living under was pointless.
Kaylee ZI realized that it was so much more important to play, to hang out with friends, to make memories than, you know, sit at my desk and memorize history books or so, like, who cares?
Kaylee ZNone of that actually matters.
Kaylee ZAnd.
Kaylee ZAnd I'm so grateful for that.
Kaylee ZIt really, really changed.
Kaylee ZChanged my.
Kaylee ZChanged my life and my family's life.
Kaylee ZWe all started living very differently.
Kaylee ZYou know, the days that I could walk, I didn't just want to walk.
Kaylee ZI wanted to do everything.
Kaylee ZThe days that I, you know, that I had energy, my.
Kaylee ZMy mom would pick me up from school and take me to Disneyland.
Kaylee ZLike, why would you sit in school if you have enough energy today to go to Disneyland?
Kaylee ZLet's.
Kaylee ZLet's go have fun.
Kaylee ZYou know, I started speaking about what I was.
Kaylee ZWhat I was experiencing pretty quickly, actually, after my diagnosis, because I started to see that the lessons I was learning, those around me, those close to me, they were also learning, they were also living their lives differently.
Kaylee ZThey were also experiencing more gratitude and savoring the present moment much more.
Kaylee ZAnd so I realized, hey, you know, maybe.
Kaylee ZMaybe this is happening for a reason.
Kaylee ZMaybe I have a message to share here.
Kaylee ZYou know, maybe others could learn from this, and it's not just me and my little box going through this.
Kaylee ZAnd as I shared, I also came to realize that we have so much more potential than we realize.
Kaylee ZAnd so I put that in there as part of how my future changed and how my vision of life and the future changed through diagnosis, because it also taught me how capable we are, how strong we are.
Kaylee ZWe are so much stronger than we realize.
Kaylee ZWe can do so much more than we realize and have the potential to really make a massive impact.
Kaylee ZAnd just as I'm saying that, by the way, I'm sort of marveling that that is so much more true today than it was back then because we didn't have the Internet yet.
Kaylee ZThose were the days, maybe a year after was like, aol, you know, dial up.
Kaylee ZAnd, like, for those of us who live through that, like, you can still make the sound like we know what that sounds.
Kaylee ZAnd if you had to go through that today, it would be so obnoxious.
Kaylee ZBack then, we thought it was, like, so cool.
Kaylee ZI'm connected to the Internet.
Kaylee ZI'm going to connect to the whole world, you know?
Kaylee ZSo today, you know, you could sit on your couch and in the palm of your hand, reach millions of people all over the world.
Kaylee ZIt's undeniable that one person can change the world.
Kaylee ZYou'd have to be hard pressed to convince me otherwise.
Kaylee ZAnd somehow back then, I got to experience that as a very young kid without the technology that we have today.
Kaylee ZAnd that was an incredible gift, you know, that changed the trajectory of my whole life.
Kaylee ZAnd thank God, all those around me.
Kaylee ZIt was really a communal experience.
Kaylee ZIt was profound.
Kaylee ZReally profound.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweAnd I just want to draw attention to something that, as you were sharing that, I couldn't help but think of what that story just spoke about you as a person, even back then as a child, a teenager, when I went blind, it took me probably the better part of about ten years before I came to a point where I felt like God did this.
Kevin LoweHe made me this way for a reason.
Kevin LoweAnd he knew that I would serve a greater purpose in this world having gone through what I did than if I hadn't.
Kevin LoweAnd that is when a lot changed for me.
Kevin LoweI listened to you tell your story that here you were, just this girl going through life, and all of a sudden you have this condition pop up that changes kind of everything.
Kevin LoweAnd yet so soon after, I can't help but just marvel at the person you were then, who could so quickly turn it around and figure out how can I make an impact?
Kaylee ZI appreciate you reflecting that.
Kaylee ZI used to say.
Kaylee ZI used to say that that's just because, you know, kids are so resilient.
Kaylee ZAnd I now I realize, no, that's not normal.
Kaylee ZAnd it took me a while several adult years to realize that's a pretty unique response to the situation.
Kaylee ZI think, you know, part of it, I think Kevin is.
Kaylee ZI sort of, even before diagnosis, you'd ask who I was before.
Kaylee ZWhat I didn't mention was that I was also very.
Kaylee ZI was very intuitive, and I came in with a sort of wisdom that is hard to describe.
Kaylee ZAnd even my parents talk about that.
Kaylee ZLike, I just.
Kaylee ZI'll say I didn't need a lot of parenting.
Kaylee ZI sort of just came in knowing how life was and how life works and what to do.
Kaylee ZAnd so I think.
Kaylee ZI think part of it was what I just came into the world with.
Kaylee ZAnd I really believe that all of us, all of us come in with a certain soul mission, a soul purpose.
Kaylee ZAnd so whether you realize it right away or it takes you ten years of soul searching, like, part of us knows there's a part deep inside that knows that's kind of being pulled.
Kaylee ZOur higher selves are always kind of a magnet in that direction.
Kaylee ZAnd so I think for me, it was just much louder.
Kaylee ZAnd so I was able to step into that quickly.
Kaylee ZAnd the other thing is that for those 60 days, and this is probably something you could relate to, my eyes closed, there wasn't YouTube to listen to find something interesting.
Kaylee ZIt was just me in my own thoughts and my own quiet.
Kaylee ZAnd in that time of quiet, I started talking to God a lot.
Kaylee ZAnd so before even the diagnosis itself, I had already kind of come to the conclusion that I was going to find meaning in what was happening and that I would at some point, somehow see the why.
Kaylee ZRight.
Kaylee ZA lot of people ask, why me?
Kaylee ZAnd I wanted to answer that.
Kaylee ZI could feel there must be a reason that it's me.
Kaylee ZAnd I think that amount of quiet that most of us don't get.
Kaylee ZWhen do we ever slow down to pause for five minutes, let alone for 60 days?
Kaylee ZYou know, people pay thousands of dollars to go on programs to be forced to shut off, you know, to like, totally.
Kaylee ZI don't know how you say it in English, but to, like, you know, completely separate from the noise of the world and from technology and.
Kaylee ZAnd I, you know, that was, God facilitated that experience for me.
Kaylee ZMy body facilitated that experience for me.
Kaylee ZSo I say all that to say that I think that that allowed me to be more present for seeing the lessons and the purpose much more quickly rather than having to, like, wait years to have the hindsight.
Kaylee ZDoes that make sense?
Kevin LoweYeah, it makes a hundred percent sense to me.
Kevin LoweAnd I mean, I just, again, I mean, I just.
Kevin LoweI listened to you.
Kevin LoweAnd I think the woman's amazing.
Kevin LoweI mean, from the get go, you were amazing.
Kevin LoweAnd I'm gonna.
Kevin LoweAnd I'm gonna even prove it that I'm not just.
Kevin LoweI'm not just hyping you up because I read, and correct me if I'm wrong, that at 14, so we're talking two years after this diagnosis, you started your own nonprofit.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kevin LoweLike, so I'm assuming.
Kevin LoweWas that like 8th grade, 9th grade, 9th grade, 9th, 9th grade, you start your own nonprofit.
Kaylee ZYes.
Kaylee ZSo again, like, you know, God orchestrated so much for me.
Kaylee ZFirst of all, I just want to say, kevin, the feeling is very mutual.
Kaylee ZI am.
Kaylee ZI know we'll get here at some point.
Kaylee ZMaybe in this interview, maybe we'll have to do this, like, four more times to actually get there.
Kaylee ZI don't know.
Kaylee ZI'm so amazed by you and inspired by you.
Kaylee ZAnd it's really fun for me to get to talk to someone who I really.
Kaylee ZThere's like a kindred spirit there.
Kaylee ZSo let me.
Kaylee ZI'll go back to 7th, 8th grade.
Kaylee ZYou know, as I said, God orchestrated a lot for me at a young age.
Kaylee ZAnd so I had a teacher, misses Mary Siegel.
Kaylee ZAnd I'm so.
Kaylee ZI'm so grateful that this is coming up in our conversation, because I was actually just thinking about her yesterday, just feeling so much gratitude to her.
Kaylee ZShe also.
Kaylee ZRight.
Kaylee ZMany people changed my life at a very young age.
Kaylee ZShe came to me at one point in 8th grade, and she said, you know, Kayleigh, there's something called the MS Walk.
Kaylee ZAnd I wonder how you would feel about, you know, your classmates supporting you and show and showing their care and support for you through the challenges that you're facing by going to the MS walk, you know, for you, by having, like, a team for you.
Kaylee ZAnd she was so sensitive about it.
Kaylee ZLike, you know, maybe I wasn't going to be comfortable with that.
Kaylee ZMaybe I didn't want.
Kaylee ZMaybe that would just not feel okay or safe.
Kaylee ZAnd I loved the idea.
Kaylee ZI loved the idea.
Kaylee ZAnd we also had a classmate, a good friend of mine, Joel.
Kaylee ZHis father had Ms.
Kaylee ZMay his memory be a blessing.
Kaylee ZAnd he.
Kaylee ZAnd so that way, like, it affected all of us.
Kaylee ZWe were small class, like, 25, 30 kids, very small class.
Kaylee ZAnd so we participated in that.
Kaylee ZAnd the MS walk, we had a team.
Kaylee ZAnd it was really, you know, we thought, okay, like, this is just a nice way was going to support me and make me feel supported.
Kaylee ZAnd also, you know, to support Joel's family and a bunch of kids.
Kaylee ZWe raised $5,000.
Kaylee ZWe kind of went, hmm, that's interesting.
Kaylee ZWe just actually did something that's pretty powerful.
Kaylee ZIt wasn't just like walking for Kayleigh and walking for Joel and his dad.
Kaylee ZWe actually made an impact.
Kaylee ZWe helped other people by raising this money.
Kaylee ZSo we did that the next year.
Kaylee ZThe next year was.
Kaylee ZI don't remember the numbers exactly.
Kaylee ZSomething crazy around, like, like twenty, thirty k.
Kaylee ZAnd at that point, I sat down with the.
Kaylee ZThe people who were most involved in the fundraising and said, like, maybe we're onto something here.
Kaylee ZAnd, you know, maybe we can really raise a voice for youth to know that they can make an impact and to get involved in this cause and spreading awareness and raising money.
Kaylee ZAnd this could be something that kids across the country could get involved with and learn leadership from a young age, and you learn community service from a young age and learn how lucky they are to be able to walk from a young age, you know?
Kaylee ZAnd again, a bunch of kids, you know, 14 year olds went, okay, I'm in.
Kaylee ZAnd we formed a board of directors of 14 year olds and would meet on our Sundays and started this nonprofit.
Kaylee ZAnd it's incredible to me that there were such supportive parents.
Kaylee ZAnd because it meant them, it meant their houses, it meant their funds, it meant their support.
Kaylee ZRight?
Kaylee ZSomeone had.
Kaylee ZWe needed a lawyer, we needed an accounting.
Kaylee ZSomeone had to volunteer their time.
Kaylee ZSharing this.
Kaylee ZNow I'm like, yeah, of course.
Kaylee ZWhy wouldn't they support their kids?
Kaylee ZThe coolest thing their kids could do.
Kaylee ZOf course they did.
Kaylee ZBut I don't just take that for granted.
Kaylee ZYou know, people are living their lives.
Kaylee ZThey all have their own challenges now, as an adult, especially as a parent, I know that everybody's living through something.
Kaylee ZI don't know.
Kaylee ZI don't know.
Kaylee ZNow, looking back, I wonder what each of those families was living through.
Kaylee ZHow they chose to all rally around me is profound.
Kaylee ZBut, yeah, I live this, like, really incredible childhood as a result of going through this.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweSo granted, I'm a big emotional cry baby.
Kaylee ZOkay, good.
Kaylee ZI'm right there with you.
Kaylee ZLet's do it.
Kevin LoweBut I have to say, when you told that story, I couldn't help but start to tear up when you started it for the teacher approaching you to ask if they could do this.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kevin LoweAgain, we talked about superheroes.
Kevin LoweTalked about your doctor.
Kevin LoweLet's give it up.
Kevin LoweAnother superhero.
Kevin LoweIs that teacher.
Kaylee ZOh, my gosh, misses Siegel.
Kaylee ZShe is a superhero.
Kaylee ZLike beyond, beyond, beyond.
Kaylee ZLike, that's only one piece, but, yeah, she is.
Kevin LoweI love it.
Kevin LoweNow, is that nonprofit still in existence?
Kaylee ZNo.
Kaylee ZIt's interesting.
Kaylee ZWhen I went to college, it was just, like, it was too much.
Kaylee ZAnd also, I just wanted to just take care of me and, like, just be in my own world for a little bit.
Kaylee ZSo others took over, which was very cool.
Kaylee ZThe kids across the country took over.
Kaylee ZI had some friends took over for a few years, and then these kids in Indiana took over for a few years.
Kaylee ZSo it's amazing.
Kaylee ZLike, it lasted for a long time, ten chapters across the country, but, no, eventually kind of fizzled out.
Kevin LoweYeah, but I think that's.
Kevin LoweThat's.
Kevin LoweThat's absolutely remarkable.
Kevin LoweSo we continue on with life, and I want to draw memory back to what you said earlier was that you had had a doctor at the beginning who told you, if I'm not mistaken, that he said by the time you graduated high school, you'd be in a wheelchair.
Kevin LoweYeah, but.
Kevin LoweSo talk to me, I guess, about high school getting older.
Kevin LoweDid.
Kevin LoweDid your symptoms get worse, get better, stay the same?
Kevin LoweWhat was going on?
Kevin LoweNearing kind of graduation time, it was.
Kaylee ZAlways up and down, always up and down.
Kaylee ZTowards the end of high school, things did start to progress.
Kaylee ZMy last year of high school was very different than my experience with symptoms prior.
Kaylee ZRather than having ups and downs, it sort of just was like, things just got worse and worse and worse and worse.
Kaylee ZAnd that.
Kaylee ZThat was very scary.
Kaylee ZThank God I did.
Kaylee ZI did actually walk across the street for high school, and that was a really big deal.
Kaylee ZIt felt really, really huge to me.
Kaylee ZI mean, I dreamt about that for years.
Kaylee ZI saw that moment and held on to it so tight.
Kaylee ZAnd as much as, you know, the guy's a jerk, it lit a fire under me, and so I held on tight to that.
Kaylee ZLike, I'm gonna walk across the stage.
Kaylee ZAnd yet, at that stage of my life, it was hard for me to stand for more than five minutes at a time.
Kaylee ZI mean, I was always looking for, where's the chair?
Kaylee ZHow can I sit down?
Kaylee ZLike, I was always conscious of, if I'm going to go somewhere, is there seating?
Kaylee ZLike, that was always really important.
Kaylee ZI couldn't walk upstairs.
Kaylee ZAnd my high school campus, thank God we had elevators.
Kaylee ZBut so that was, like, I had to always be conscious of that.
Kaylee ZI had to go a different way, avoid the stairs.
Kaylee ZAnd there were just a number of symptoms I lived with during that time.
Kaylee ZAnd so, actually, I decided, you know, there was still.
Kaylee ZThere was still a bit of a perfectionist in me.
Kaylee ZAs much as I learned that everything is just this present moment, I wasn't really fully able to shake that, and so.
Kaylee ZAnd then of course, I started this organization and convinced myself that it was okay to push myself to the point of illness because I was helping so many other people, because I was making a difference, you know, so it's okay to kill yourself if you're saving the world?
Kaylee ZThat was the mentality.
Kaylee ZSo I was getting worse and worse.
Kaylee ZAnd at that point, I realized I really needed to hit a really strong pause button.
Kaylee ZAnd so I didn't go straight to college.
Kaylee ZI took a year off, which was so crucial and a huge gift.
Kaylee ZAnd that's when I started to finally get healthy again, because it was headed a really bad direction, and everyone was concerned, my doctors were concerned.
Kaylee ZI was obviously terrified.
Kaylee ZIt was like, I basically went, like, 14 months just progressing.
Kaylee ZAnd so, you know, it was a pretty extreme decision to take a full year, but I feel really necessary and to not have all the pressure of the nonprofit or school or anything.
Kaylee ZI knew, I was like, I'm going to go to college and just go right back into, like, I got to get the perfect grades.
Kaylee ZI knew all of that was going to come again.
Kaylee ZI was like, I have to stop.
Kaylee ZI have to really, really pull back, and.
Kaylee ZAnd I'm grateful that that 18 year old had the wisdom to do that.
Kevin LoweAbsolutely.
Kevin LoweIs this type of condition, is it made worse by stress?
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZIt's one of the first things any doctor will tell someone being diagnosed that stress will worsen the disease.
Kaylee ZAnd what's so fascinating about that?
Kaylee ZKevin?
Kaylee ZThis is where my passion lies today, and this is what I do when I work with others with chronic illness.
Kaylee ZThe important thing to understand is why.
Kaylee ZSo why, why does stress worsen a disease or worsen symptoms?
Kaylee ZAnd that's for most, for most illnesses, but especially autoimmune or neurological.
Kaylee ZAnd the reason is because when we experience stress, and that can be emotional distress, that can come in many forms, certain hormones get released in the body.
Kaylee ZSo especially with stress, the classic stress hormone is cortisol.
Kaylee ZThere can be others that also get released with stress.
Kaylee ZAnd let's just take cortisol, for example.
Kaylee ZSo when cortisol is in the system for an extended period of time, so that's chronic stress.
Kaylee ZWhen it's in the system for an extended period of time, there are severe consequences.
Kaylee ZSo it causes inflammation in the body, it's going to start to break down muscle tone.
Kaylee ZIt changes the way specific organs function, the bladder, the eyes.
Kaylee ZSo, looking back, right, I was sharing my walking, my eyesight, all of that had been affected.
Kaylee ZAnd when we start to understand, if we start to ask, well, why stress then we understand.
Kaylee ZOh, because there's a hormonal response.
Kaylee ZAnd so I, in my twenties, got really, really curious about this.
Kaylee ZI wanted to understand this.
Kaylee ZI want to understand, well, if that makes things worse, how can I reverse that?
Kaylee ZHow can I reverse engineer this to then heal?
Kaylee ZIf I know what activates symptoms, can I then figure, can I use that same mechanism and reverse it to heal the symptoms, to heal the body?
Kaylee ZAnd turns out, yes, turns out that's possible.
Kaylee ZAnd it's really profound.
Kaylee ZAnd so one of the things I just always wish, and I, and I understand, I've worked through this, I've come to peace through this, but I do wish that doctors could take the time to then teach someone about their body, not just say, hey, stress is going to make it worse.
Kaylee ZMake sure to not have stress.
Kaylee ZAs if, like, as if anyone in life today could not have stress.
Kaylee ZIt's like you just read one news headline and that's it.
Kaylee ZThat's killed your whole day, you know?
Kaylee ZSo it's like, by the way, please stop reading the news to anyone listening.
Kaylee ZSo I was like, that's a stressor nobody needs.
Kaylee ZSo, because, again, it's just going to release cortisol and it's going to release fear.
Kaylee ZEspecially stress is going to release fear hormones.
Kaylee ZNot just stress hormones, fear hormones.
Kaylee ZAnd the body has to react to that.
Kaylee ZThe body doesn't know that that's not real.
Kaylee ZMy body didn't know when I was studying for finals that the stress and the anxiety I was feeling about the finals was just finals, that it wasn't going to actually be a life or death situation.
Kaylee ZMy body didn't know that.
Kaylee ZMy body, to my body, to all of our nervous systems, that means there's a lion chasing me.
Kaylee ZIt's like being out in the wild.
Kaylee ZAnd so it has to prepare for the lion.
Kaylee ZIt has to prepare for a life or death situation.
Kaylee ZWhen that is going on day after day after day, year after year, the nervous system can't sustain it.
Kaylee ZIt's going to do great.
Kaylee ZIf, God forbid, there is a lion, if there is a life or death situation, it's going to take care of you, it's going to protect you.
Kaylee ZBut ongoing, it can't.
Kaylee ZSo I just.
Kaylee ZMy fantasy is that doctors sit down and explain to you how your body works and the biology of all of this, the biology of your own emotions and the hormones that get released by these experiences so that you can know how to actually take care of yourself.
Kaylee ZLike, obviously, we're going to be stressed.
Kaylee ZOkay, so then what are some tools I could use so that that stress doesn't have to then have a negative impact on the nervous system.
Kaylee ZLike, wouldn't that just be such a delicious gift?
Kaylee ZBut instead.
Kaylee ZOkay, fine.
Kaylee ZI'll do my best to teach that to the masses.
Kaylee ZBut that's, like, my.
Kaylee ZMy nice little fantasy.
Kevin LoweYeah, no, I love it.
Kevin LoweSo.
Kevin LoweSo I'm curious for you to keep talking this through.
Kevin LoweSo talk to me about what you would end up discovering on this own journey that you're on about.
Kevin LoweWell, if stress activates it, how do I eliminate it?
Kevin LoweI mean, what.
Kevin LoweWhat I mean.
Kevin LoweCause that's.
Kevin LoweIt sounds easy, but implementation sounds hard.
Kaylee ZNo, you're correct.
Kaylee ZI really appreciate that you can hear that.
Kaylee ZImplementation sounds hard.
Kaylee ZA lot of people think I can just explain it in a few minutes.
Kaylee ZAnd much easier said than done.
Kaylee ZThe body's job is to process all emotions.
Kaylee ZAnd as I just explained the example with a lion, that is for our own survival.
Kaylee ZThat is for our protection.
Kaylee ZThe thing is that the world that we live in today, I'm having emotions over a conflict with a friend or an upcoming deadline at work or, you know, anxiety about a promotion.
Kaylee ZIt's a good thing.
Kaylee ZIt's a promotion, but still, there can be anxiety.
Kaylee ZAnd so we need to learn to process our feelings in a healthy way.
Kaylee ZIf we're not processing them, they get stored in the body, and then there's that, you know, hormonal response on the body's behalf that then leads to other physical breakdown.
Kaylee ZSo if a person is completely healthy, this is still happening, we just don't notice it.
Kaylee ZIf it goes on for too long, we do start to notice it.
Kaylee ZSo someone will call me up, and maybe they've started having headaches.
Kaylee ZAnd there are certain things that we always know.
Kaylee ZSo, for example, if we experience fear, even if you're just watching a movie and there's a moment of suspense, your heart races, right?
Kaylee ZSo we've all experienced a physical reaction to an emotion.
Kaylee ZFear.
Kaylee ZMy heart races.
Kaylee ZWe've all experienced that, right?
Kaylee ZSadness, I tear up.
Kaylee ZJoy, I tear up.
Kaylee ZBeing inspired, I tear up.
Kaylee ZThere are physical responses to our emotions.
Kaylee ZAnd actually, just to kind of geek out with you for a second, they can actually show under a microscope that tear molecules are different depending on the emotion.
Kaylee ZSo tears of joy look different than tears of sadness, which, like, oh, it blows me away that the body is, like, that specific.
Kaylee ZAnd what does that tell us?
Kaylee ZThat tells us that the body is actually, through tears, physically removing an emotion.
Kaylee ZSo when you say, what's the implementation?
Kaylee ZYou know, there are many tools out there for feeling our feelings in a healthy way.
Kaylee ZMoving an emotion, right, it's an emotion is just energy.
Kaylee ZI did not know this, by the way.
Kaylee ZI had to learn all of this.
Kaylee ZTo me, this was all, like, crazy, cuckoo, weird.
Kaylee ZBut an emotion is energy.
Kaylee ZAnd if I think of it as just energy, it's like, okay, that's not so bad, because I was always scared of feeling my feelings.
Kaylee ZThat was like a terror.
Kaylee ZWhat feelings?
Kaylee ZWhat?
Kaylee ZNot just scared of feeling.
Kaylee ZWhat feelings?
Kaylee ZI don't have any emotions.
Kaylee ZLike, I'm fine all the time.
Kaylee ZThat was me.
Kaylee ZTurns out I was having some feelings.
Kaylee ZAnd when we think of an emotion as energy in motion, okay, so then how can I move it through?
Kaylee ZSo my go to.
Kaylee ZI'll just say my go to on this.
Kaylee ZAnd it's so easy to learn, is something called tapping.
Kaylee ZIt's officially called eft emotional freedom technique.
Kaylee ZAnd again, God put a perfect person in my life.
Kaylee ZAnd she is such a superhero.
Kaylee ZShelley Malka, living just outside Jerusalem.
Kaylee ZI was living in Israel at the time when I went through my healing journey.
Kaylee ZAnd she taught me tapping.
Kaylee ZWell, she facilitated so much for me, but she really helped me to see that, first of all, that I was having feelings.
Kaylee ZAnd then I.
Kaylee ZThat it was safe to feel them.
Kaylee ZAnd then she taught me how to tap.
Kaylee ZAnd tapping basically works through acupressure points in the body and energy meridians in the body to keep those emotions moving out while you're feeling them.
Kaylee ZAnd what they find, and this is so cool, is that scans show, like, if you tap while, like, during, let's say, a ct scan, they can see that the.
Kaylee ZThe part of the brain that is responsible for our fight or flight response, called the amygdala, that part of the brain calms down while we're tapping.
Kaylee ZSo I'm having an emotion now.
Kaylee ZI'm just.
Kaylee ZThat's normal.
Kaylee ZI'm a human being.
Kaylee ZI'm having an emotion, but my brain is going, danger, danger, danger.
Kaylee ZRight.
Kaylee ZLet's get Kaylee to safety.
Kaylee ZMeanwhile, I don't know, I just.
Kaylee ZI had a conflict with a boss.
Kaylee ZLet's say, you know, that's not the end of the world, but the brain seeing danger.
Kaylee ZAnd then I tap and I tell the brain, we're safe.
Kaylee ZIt's okay, I'm safe.
Kaylee ZThat mechanism alone allows the emotion to pass through without having a negative impact on the system, on, let's say, the organs, the tissues, whatever is activated at that time in the body.
Kaylee ZThere's a lot I want to say.
Kaylee ZI'm trying to pause so that's a lot of information.
Kaylee ZI'm like, wait, maybe you should stop talking for a second.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweOh, my God.
Kevin LoweSo this is fascinating.
Kevin LoweSo I have heard of the tapping thing before.
Kevin LoweI.
Kevin LoweYou kind of used the term cuckoo before.
Kevin LoweBut talk to me, though.
Kevin LoweI'm kind of curious.
Kevin LoweI mean, obviously, it's different places, but, like, as an example, where would you be tapping?
Kaylee ZSure.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZThere are different schools of thought.
Kaylee ZI start at the top of my head.
Kaylee ZOkay.
Kaylee ZAnd you're not tapping hard.
Kaylee ZIt's nice and gentle.
Kaylee ZSo I start right at the top, in the center, if anybody knows, like, energy systems.
Kaylee ZIt's like the crown.
Kaylee ZAnd then I tap on my eyebrows, and I'm doing it as I'm talking to you, assuming that everyone's tapping along with us.
Kaylee ZThat's real in my little world, right?
Kaylee ZAnd then I tap on the sides of my eyes, right?
Kaylee ZLike, at the crease.
Kaylee ZThen I tap under the eyes.
Kaylee ZI mean, I can keep going.
Kaylee ZThere's many spots.
Kaylee ZSo those are just some examples.
Kaylee ZUnder the nose, the chin.
Kaylee ZThose are just some examples.
Kaylee ZAnd you can also tap.
Kaylee ZI know it probably sounds so weird.
Kaylee ZLike, wait, so you're just going to sit.
Kaylee ZYou can't sit at your office and do that, like, in a desk of, like, you know, we all have these, like, open floor plans, and now it's like, what am I supposed to do?
Kaylee ZSo you can also tap just on your fingers under a desk.
Kaylee ZThere's.
Kaylee ZThere's many ways to do this that, like, no one would even know or see you.
Kaylee ZI don't care.
Kaylee ZI got to the point in my life where I'm like, hey, you know what?
Kaylee ZI healed Ms.
Kaylee ZSo if this tool helps that much, I'm.
Kaylee ZI will stand in line at the grocery store and tap so that you see me.
Kaylee ZI don't care.
Kaylee ZI have no shame about it.
Kaylee ZBut for others, I'm like, you can do it discreetly under a desk.
Kaylee ZAnd there were many, many steps, Kevin, to learning to feel my feelings, to learning to move this through the body.
Kaylee ZThis is just, to me, the easiest, most powerful tool that anyone can access.
Kaylee ZAnd as much as it sounds out there or weird, there's so much science to back this up.
Kaylee ZAnd there's an app to make it really easy.
Kaylee ZSo there's an app called the tapping solution.
Kaylee ZSo if all of you are like, wait, what did she just say?
Kaylee ZAm I doing it right?
Kaylee ZSo you just download the app, follow along with the tapping solution, and you have into the palm of your hands.
Kaylee ZOne of my clients calls it having a therapist in your pocket.
Kaylee ZAnd it's so profound.
Kaylee ZLike, I'll just share, you know?
Kaylee ZI started my career as a therapist, my second career after the 14 year old CEO, the next iteration, I started my career as a marriage and family therapist.
Kaylee ZAnd through grad school and thousands and thousands and thousands of hours just to get my license.
Kaylee ZI can't tell you I did not have a tool as powerful as tapping.
Kaylee ZIt's, like, shocking to me that it took so many years to get to my therapist, Shelly, who taught me to.
Kaylee ZI'm like, what are people doing?
Kaylee ZHow did I not have this tool?
Kaylee ZWhat was I doing for my clients?
Kaylee ZAnd they loved me, and they gave me all these gifts, and I'm like, I don't even know what I was doing for them.
Kaylee ZWhat's so profound about this is not only can you have someone guide you, but then you can do this for yourself.
Kaylee ZIt's in your pocket, right?
Kaylee ZTo me, that's what's so important, is you don't have to always be relying on someone else to get to safety, to feel good in yourself, to have support.
Kaylee ZIt's like, you could do this for yourself.
Kaylee ZLike, why did no one tell me this sooner?
Kaylee ZSo now all your viewers know, listeners know, and we just gave them this gift.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweThat is so fascinating.
Kevin LoweAnd I would definitely be sure that the app you mentioned, I'll be sure that I put that in the show notes.
Kevin LowePerfect for anybody.
Kevin LoweSo you mentioned that you took a year off.
Kevin LoweWas it only a year, or did it turn into more than a year?
Kaylee ZNo, I just took that year off.
Kaylee ZAnd then I.
Kaylee ZThen I started college at USC.
Kaylee ZThey allowed me to defer, which was awesome.
Kevin LoweOkay, amazing.
Kevin LoweSo the reason I asked that question was because I was wondering, returning back to college, had you.
Kevin LoweIt was in that year that you had learned this technique about tapping.
Kaylee ZOh, no, no.
Kaylee ZThat was much later.
Kaylee ZI don't know how this.
Kaylee ZHow I got into, like, how to heal the body now, but that was much later.
Kaylee ZBut having a year without stress, I saw how much my body changed.
Kaylee ZI got so healthy.
Kaylee ZI got my abilities back, my strength back.
Kaylee ZI mean, I shared with you.
Kaylee ZI could barely walk.
Kaylee ZI could barely stand.
Kaylee ZAnd I got to the point where I could work out.
Kaylee ZI could go to the gym.
Kaylee ZI could start dancing again.
Kaylee ZI love to dance.
Kaylee ZI mean, I could dance all night at that point.
Kaylee ZLike, it was amazing how much not having stress in my life changed the body.
Kaylee ZSo that kind of always stayed with me as, like, there's something to this.
Kaylee ZI need to figure out how to hack this and yet, even though I felt so good, the moment I was plugged back into, you know, quote unquote, normal life, back at school and work and all those things, it's like, oh, there's symptoms again.
Kaylee ZAll right, so it's like, it's not sustainable.
Kaylee ZLike, we have to find.
Kaylee ZWe have to be able to.
Kaylee ZAt least that's how I felt.
Kaylee ZI have to be able to live life and not always be afraid of, like, the next symptom.
Kaylee ZAnd anybody living with chronic illness, you know, knows that you're sort of always waiting, like, when's the next shoe gonna drop, right?
Kaylee ZAnd you're waiting, can I plan the vacation?
Kaylee ZCan I do this?
Kaylee ZCan I do that?
Kaylee ZThat just years later, got to a point where it's like, okay, I can't live like that anymore.
Kaylee ZSo that years later is what got me to say.
Kaylee ZI need to figure out how to hack the system and have real, true health so that I'm not always sort of, like, I have to pause everything I want to.
Kaylee ZYou still want to live your life, you know?
Kevin LoweAbsolutely.
Kevin LoweSo what was.
Kevin LoweI guess I.
Kevin LoweI'm kind of curious.
Kevin LoweWhat were the events that have kind of now shaped where you are today in your career, your personal life?
Kevin LoweWere there any big, monumental moments that really impacted the rest of this journey?
Kaylee ZOh, my God.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZOh, I love how this didn't need to be two questions.
Kaylee ZIt was one that has, like, 17 answers.
Kaylee ZSo I'll just share the highlights of the biggest thing that impacted my journey, in addition to what we've talked about so far.
Kaylee ZKevin was.
Kaylee ZI had a fiance who died, and that was, you know, a game.
Kaylee ZI don't even know what to say.
Kaylee ZIt was a life changing moment.
Kaylee ZIt was the worst, worst, worst pain.
Kaylee ZThe worst pain.
Kaylee ZIt was unexpected.
Kaylee ZIt was sudden.
Kaylee ZHe just didn't wake up one day.
Kaylee ZAnd losing David Washington.
Kaylee ZIt was a moment in my life where I realized that life is about living through challenges.
Kaylee ZLife is about expanding ourselves, developing ourselves through the challenges.
Kaylee ZAnd I know that sounds weird.
Kaylee ZLike, she just spent an hour talking about growing up with illness.
Kaylee ZHow did she not know that?
Kaylee ZBut I guess I had thought that.
Kaylee ZI had really believed up until that point that it's like everyone will have one challenge that sort of just, like, you just.
Kaylee ZIt's like you don't get off scot free, but, okay, then you just have the one.
Kaylee ZAnd then when David died, I realized, oh, that is not.
Kaylee ZThat is not what life is actually about.
Kaylee ZIt is the challenges that make life.
Kaylee ZIt is the challenges that make you.
Kaylee ZAnd so it's not going to be one.
Kaylee ZAnd it wasn't.
Kaylee ZI thought Ms was, I thought I had, like, checked the box of challenge.
Kaylee ZI thought I was done.
Kaylee ZI thought, like, I met my challenge quota in life.
Kaylee ZI really believe that I'm laughing at myself now, but, like, I really, really believed that.
Kaylee ZI was like, oh, no, you don't get another, like, that's not, that's not how this works.
Kaylee ZAs if, like, I could somehow negotiate my way out of that.
Kaylee ZAnd losing David really made me see that it's not about just overcoming a challenge.
Kaylee ZIt's that life.
Kaylee ZLife is lived in those challenges.
Kaylee ZThat's where life is actually happening.
Kaylee ZIt's not what it is on the other side.
Kaylee ZAnd it's not when you're, when you're finally over the hump, it's in it.
Kaylee ZIt's when you're in the pain and in the tribulation is that, that is what life is.
Kaylee ZAnd, you know, you talk to anyone, you realize everybody's facing something.
Kaylee ZWe all are.
Kaylee ZAnd it's sort of, you know, one thing can roll into the next and when we can start to learn how to navigate those and how to lean into the meaning of it, the growth in it.
Kaylee ZOne of the things you said earlier, Kevin, was like, you just reflected on it took you about ten years of going through your own process to start to see how this would actually shape you and form you.
Kaylee ZAnd one of the practices I take people through is like, let's fast forward to ten years from now, and you're looking back at this moment.
Kaylee ZWhat lessons did that teach you?
Kaylee ZRight?
Kaylee ZSo maybe we don't have to wait the ten years.
Kaylee ZMost of us take that time to do that work.
Kaylee ZIt took me a while of healing from David to kind of put all of this together.
Kaylee ZBut what if we didn't have to wait all those years?
Kaylee ZWhat if in the moment, in the face of the challenge, amidst the storm, you can start to already do that work and it makes it much easier to weather the storm in a sense.
Kaylee ZYou know, so, I mean, you asked about other things that impacted my life.
Kaylee ZThere are many, but that obviously is the biggest.
Kevin LoweLike, yeah, yeah.
Kevin LoweAnd I just wanted to comment to it the way in which you described that.
Kevin LoweI couldnt help but feel a sense of peace to realize that we dont have to always fear the challenge.
Kevin LoweThe challenge is what makes us.
Kevin LoweThe challenge, honestly, is life.
Kevin LoweI feel like life is kind of a series of challenges, whether we even kind of know it or not.
Kevin LoweAnd to hear the way in which you spoke about that.
Kevin LoweIt did.
Kevin LoweIt made me think it isn't something to fear.
Kevin LoweI mean, none of us, none of us want bad things to happen, but the fact that if we look at life from the big picture, it's just us growing and developing and getting to be a bigger, better, stronger version of us.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZA lot of times, it's really interesting what you're saying.
Kaylee ZThere's actually some research on this that it's like the fear of the thing often makes it so much worse.
Kaylee ZIt makes the experience of it so much worse.
Kaylee ZAnd throughout history, it's weird to think about, you know, we live in actually very comfortable generation.
Kaylee ZWar happens somewhere else.
Kaylee ZWe're not in touch with it.
Kaylee ZI mean, my, my family's in touch with it.
Kaylee ZI shared, you know, I was living in Israel for a while, and so what's going on in Israel is affecting, you know, my family directly.
Kaylee ZBut most of us around the, in the western world, most people listening to this are nothing.
Kaylee ZWe don't live through these things.
Kaylee ZWe didn't live through the depression.
Kaylee ZEven when economy is tough, which is happening right now, it's like, we're not starving, we're not rationing.
Kaylee ZWe haven't lived through massive, massive challenge in this generation.
Kaylee ZAnd interestingly, there's a great leader who said, he's referred to as the Lubavitcher rebbe.
Kaylee ZHe said that this would be the hardest generation.
Kaylee ZIt's like, how.
Kaylee ZWhat are you talking about?
Kaylee ZWe didn't go through, or we didn't go through a holocaust.
Kaylee ZLike, what are you talking about?
Kaylee ZYou know, and it's because there isn't some external massive, you know, atrocity to give us a sense of perspective.
Kaylee ZAnd so our day to day lives, small challenges, big ones, like, can kind of take over, and we don't have, like, that sense of perspective to know how to navigate that.
Kaylee ZAnd then our own minds plague us like, our own.
Kaylee ZOur self critic.
Kaylee ZI'm not good enough.
Kaylee ZAll of that.
Kaylee ZI have to compare to other.
Kaylee ZAll of that, right?
Kaylee ZWhich social media just feeds so much.
Kaylee ZIt's our own mindset that makes this generation so, so hard, because it's like the enemy.
Kaylee ZYou don't know.
Kaylee ZYou don't.
Kaylee ZYou don't have something external that you're overcoming.
Kaylee ZOkay, I have a diagnosis.
Kaylee ZI'm going to work with that.
Kaylee ZI'm going to work towards overcoming that.
Kaylee ZHow can I take care of my health?
Kaylee ZIt's definable.
Kaylee ZDoes that make sense?
Kaylee ZIt's like.
Kaylee ZBut when it's not this definable circumstance, what am I.
Kaylee ZHow do I navigate just day to day life?
Kaylee ZAnd so it's almost like those things build resilience, and so we have to.
Kaylee ZI really believe, like, so then what do we do?
Kaylee ZI really believe that we should.
Kaylee ZWe should all, every single person, even if life is great in this moment, may it continue to be, start to build resilience for ourselves every day.
Kaylee ZHave a practice.
Kaylee ZFocus on what is going well.
Kaylee ZFocus on what you can be grateful for, not.
Kaylee ZNot faking it.
Kaylee ZOkay.
Kaylee ZThis is not like Pollyanna, actually.
Kaylee ZTake some time to find the things that you're grateful for, because when the challenge comes, then you've already built that muscle, and then it's much easier to then, you know, look at, like, find the meaning, find what you can be grateful for.
Kaylee ZA great book on this is man's search for meaning by Victor Frankel, who was in Auschwitz, a concentration camp.
Kaylee ZAnd he really teaches that the way to get through life is to always find the meaning in, like, the trial that you're facing in this moment.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweI love that so very much.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZI mean, you get this, Kevin.
Kaylee ZI know that you get this.
Kaylee ZI'm really curious.
Kaylee ZI've been wanting to ask you for quite a few minutes now.
Kaylee ZWhat is this like, for you to hear from me that now, thank God I'm disease free and living healthy and have kind of learned all of this about my body.
Kaylee ZObviously, they're very different situations, but I know it's really raw and vulnerable.
Kaylee ZAnd of course, you know, you can always edit this out, but I'm just curious what this like for you right now?
Kevin LoweWhat it's like for me is joy.
Kevin LoweI feel like there is so much.
Kevin LoweThere's so much hurt in this world.
Kevin LoweAnd when I hear your story, I hear the stories of so many people I interview, and they've gone through some stuff, and there's a part of me that wishes so badly that they didn't have to.
Kevin LoweThere's so much, a part of me sometimes I can't help, literally at the time we're recording this, my cousin, he was in a severe motorcycle accident, and he's in the hospital.
Kevin LoweHe's suffered a traumatic brain injury.
Kaylee ZOh, my gosh.
Kevin LoweAnd, you know, we always.
Kevin LoweWe always, you know, wish things could just be better.
Kevin LoweWe want to make things better.
Kevin LoweAnd tying it kind of back to what you're saying is, I couldn't help but think, though, one day when I was there, standing by his hospital bed, that I just wish it was me.
Kevin LoweI wish he didn't have to go through this.
Kaylee ZOh, wow.
Kevin LoweAnd honestly, that's.
Kevin LoweIt is.
Kevin LoweI don't want people to have to hurt.
Kevin LoweThat's the whole reason.
Kevin LoweThat's the whole reason why I even do this podcast, is I hope that that me and you, we can say something that can help somebody else on the other side of the world who.
Kevin LoweWho me and you will never even talk to.
Kevin LoweBut they hear this conversation today, and it gives them that little spark to keep going.
Kevin LoweAnd then the other aspect of your story is something that I relate to.
Kevin LoweMy own situation is I look at you and I.
Kevin LoweI look at what you've been able to do.
Kevin LoweYou have been now basically symptom free.
Kevin LoweFor how long?
Kaylee ZUh, over ten years.
Kaylee ZI've lost count.
Kaylee ZThat's over ten years.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kevin LoweFor over ten years.
Kevin LoweIt was something that you found on your own, outside of a hospital room.
Kevin LoweAnd I can't help but think of it in my own situation, is that I spent the first 14 years of being completely blind, literally only seeing what my fingers touched.
Kevin LoweBut then I learned how to use echolocation, and I retrained my brain's visual cortex to see through sound.
Kaylee ZIt's so amazing.
Kevin LoweAnd.
Kevin LoweAnd it's not the conventional people.
Kevin LowePeople at the local blind services.
Kevin LoweI remember when I went out there back in 2017, I went out to.
Kevin LoweTo California and trained one on one with a guy who is now my really good friend, Brian Bushway.
Kevin LoweAnd I trained with him.
Kevin LoweAnd, I mean, people with the blind centers, I mean, they thought I was being scammed.
Kevin LoweOh, my God.
Kevin LoweYeah.
Kevin LoweI mean, literally, they.
Kevin LowePeople just thought this was this far fetched thing that is not possible.
Kevin LoweAnd I remember when I finally had it all clicked together and I could finally see the walls of the apartment we were in.
Kevin LoweI remember.
Kevin LoweI couldn't help but think I just spent 14 years living in darkness with nothing, and I realized what I was missing out on.
Kevin LoweAnd so I say this.
Kevin LoweAll to say is that, again, when you ask what I think about with you, it's not only just immense joyous, but also just admiration for you being willing to go outside of the box in pursuit of something more because you knew there had to be an answer.
Kevin LoweYou took it so logical.
Kevin LoweIf this causes it, well, how do I not cause that?
Kevin LoweAnd I just.
Kevin LoweI literally look at you with pure admiration of what an amazing person you are.
Kaylee ZKevin.
Kaylee ZTo hear, like, people say that to me, obviously, all the time, to hear it from you and what you just shared, like, I am just covered in chills.
Kaylee ZLike, everything you just shared is like, this is why we came to me.
Kaylee ZThis is.
Kaylee ZI really believe every human being has inside them what you just described.
Kaylee ZIt's like, oh, okay.
Kaylee ZLet me retrain my brain.
Kaylee ZLet me learn to see through.
Kaylee ZSound is like.
Kaylee ZAnd I feel.
Kaylee ZI mean, it's like, it's expansive to me.
Kaylee ZI am, like, vibrating right now.
Kaylee ZI'm like, this is the conversation I want to have every day.
Kaylee ZAnd yet I also.
Kaylee ZI know it and I live it and I breathe it.
Kaylee ZAnd when people say things to me, like, you know, they'll call up with, like, oh, my child's going through this.
Kaylee ZLike, do you think that's reversible?
Kaylee ZI'm like, of course that's reversible.
Kaylee ZThen, you know, I'll start listing the books and this and that, and you got to read this one and that one.
Kaylee ZAnd this person who was told they'll never be able to hear, and then they could start to hear, and I'm like, oh, my God.
Kaylee ZI'm talking to you like, it's you.
Kevin LoweIt's.
Kaylee ZIt's not.
Kaylee ZIt's not the person in the book.
Kaylee ZIt's not someone I'm referencing or I've heard about.
Kaylee ZIt's like, no, it's Kevin.
Kaylee ZIt's you.
Kaylee ZI'm like, yes, it's.
Kaylee ZThis is.
Kaylee ZIt's so profound.
Kaylee ZAnd, you know, you mentioned, you know, you referenced God earlier in our conversation, and you said, and it stayed with me so much because I feel also like you.
Kaylee ZLike, I don't want people to suffer.
Kaylee ZLike, I just cannot.
Kaylee ZCan we just take it away?
Kaylee ZLike, I really just wish I could just take it away.
Kaylee ZAnd I.
Kaylee ZAs much as.
Kaylee ZAnd by the way, I just.
Kaylee ZI don't want us to, like, finish the conversation without saying this.
Kaylee ZI just want to send so much healing to your cousin as we have this conversation, you know?
Kaylee ZAnd hopefully, we bring those healing vibrations to him.
Kaylee ZAnd so you've said this before.
Kaylee ZYou said, you know, how many days did you spend waking up?
Kaylee ZAnd just like, okay, God made a miracle last night, right?
Kaylee ZLike, I can see now.
Kaylee ZLike, you, he healed me overnight.
Kaylee ZI.
Kaylee ZAnd yearning for that.
Kaylee ZAnd I can't help but hear, Kevin, that, like, you are living to the fullest extent of God's intention for us as humans, which is to utilize the tools that he gave us to create our own healing.
Kaylee ZLike, you actually use the capacity of your own brain to find a way to see.
Kaylee ZI'm like, literally, for me, this is like being in the presence of something holy and sacred.
Kaylee ZIt's nothing short of divine.
Kaylee ZI just.
Kaylee ZI can't.
Kaylee ZArticulate it fully.
Kaylee ZIt's so profound to me.
Kevin LoweI mean, I say thank you, but I mean, I look at you the same way.
Kevin LoweI mean, it's just right back at you and, you know, and I'll share that.
Kevin LoweThe night that I saw for the first time using echolocation, I remember going to bed that night.
Kevin LoweI remember praying, and I remember the biggest smile coming across my face.
Kevin LoweAnd I was like, you know what, God?
Kevin LoweI'm like, you.
Kevin LoweYou answered my prayers.
Kevin LoweYou let me see again, but just in a whole new way.
Kevin LoweAnd, you know, I have come in my journey to believe that all of it was worth it.
Kevin LoweAll of the pain that I've been through, it's all been worth it.
Kevin LoweIf I.
Kevin LoweIf I could be an impact, if I could inspire somebody, motivate somebody, if I could just help somebody get through what they're going through.
Kevin LoweAnd getting to have this conversation with you today is just one of those things that it's just another tool, another way of getting to fulfill that amazing mission, that getting to fulfill what I think God meant for me to do with it all.
Kaylee ZYeah, I mean, I'm just.
Kaylee ZTears coming down my face.
Kaylee ZI don't have words right now.
Kaylee ZThis conversation, it's everything.
Kaylee ZThis conversation is everything.
Kaylee ZI think we both live for the same thing.
Kaylee ZIt's this.
Kaylee ZIt's that this is going to change that.
Kaylee ZOne person, hopefully many, but if one person, they can get through the day because of this, that's everything.
Kaylee ZSo often I get to see miracles, I get to see people heal and get their abilities back, and I feel the same way.
Kaylee ZIt's like, you know what?
Kaylee ZIt was worth all of it.
Kaylee ZIt was worth the suffering.
Kaylee ZIt was worth the pain.
Kaylee ZIt was worth all of it to get to witness that one breakthrough.
Kaylee ZI feel honored to be able to have this conversation with you today.
Kevin LoweOh, I echo that.
Kevin LoweWrite the same back to you.
Kevin LoweFor somebody who they're interested in learning more about working with you, what you have to offer, or literally just wanting to get plugged into your world or hear what you've got going on, please share with them everywhere we can send them.
Kevin LoweAnd I will be sure that all of that is in the show notes plus on the website@gritgraceinspiration.com.
Kevin Lowekayleez awesome.
Kaylee ZYeah.
Kaylee ZSo the easiest way to find me is kayleighz.com.
Kaylee Zyou can learn a lot more about what I do and how to work with me.
Kaylee ZAnd I think the best thing there is a free webinar that really goes into detail in teaching how the mind and body work together.
Kaylee ZSo if anybody's living with symptoms or curious about that, you can do your own deep dive and learn a lot more there.
Kaylee ZAnd you can also follow me on social.
Kaylee ZI'm much more on Instagram than anything else.
Kaylee ZSo on Instagram, I'm kayleigh zeytuniofficial, and I just, you know, I talk about mind, body, but I also just try to share inspiration and really just show up authentically of my own ups and downs of everyday life and how I navigate and especially being a mama now.
Kaylee ZSo hopefully I would love to hear from you guys there.
Kaylee ZAnd if you dm me, I do my best to actually respond.
Kaylee ZAnd it would mean a lot to me to hear from your listeners.
Kaylee ZKevin.
Kevin LoweAbsolutely.
Kevin LoweWell, all of that is in the show notes.
Kevin LoweKayleigh Z.
Kevin LoweI'm thinking that you're my sister from another mother.
Kevin LoweYes.
Kevin LoweI love you.
Kaylee ZI'm so there.
Kaylee ZI love you, Kevin.
Kaylee ZI am so there.
Kaylee ZI'm glad one of us said it.
Kaylee ZIf it wasn't going to be you, it was going to be.
Kevin LoweWell, listen, Kaylee, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being here and for, for literally just brightening my day.
Kaylee ZIt's.
Kaylee ZIt's been such a gift this time.
Kaylee ZHas been such a gift.
Kaylee ZKevin, thank you.
Kevin LoweYeah, absolutely.
Kevin LoweFor you listening today.
Kevin LoweIf you're still with me, I hope.
Kevin LoweI hope you've been enjoying this conversation as much as me and Kaylee have been.
Kevin LoweMy biggest hope is that you're smiling right now.
Kevin LoweMaybe you're laughing and maybe you're thinking about your own life, your own challenges.
Kevin LoweAnd based on what she just told us today, maybe you're starting to look at them from a little bit different view.
Kevin LoweMy name is Kevin Lowe.
Kevin LoweThis is another episode of Grit Grayson, inspiration.
Kevin LoweAs always, get out there and enjoy the day.