1 00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:29,145 Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge podcast. 2 00:00:29,145 --> 00:00:33,945 This week we are talking about social media and the pressure that couples are 3 00:00:33,945 --> 00:00:36,185 facing nowadays when wanting to plan their wedding. 4 00:00:36,185 --> 00:00:37,865 Yeah, I think so. I think there's so much. 5 00:00:37,865 --> 00:00:40,825 All right. I mean, there's so much in our lives in general, 6 00:00:40,825 --> 00:00:44,665 not just for a wedding, but in my own personal Instagram is 7 00:00:44,665 --> 00:00:47,785 ridiculous. Let alone, in fact, I was getting married to trying to 8 00:00:47,785 --> 00:00:50,665 complain myself to everything that comes up on your social media. 9 00:00:50,665 --> 00:00:55,465 It's just bonkers and obviously we've like the algorithms of social media. 10 00:00:55,465 --> 00:00:59,705 You look at something once and then it's, you know, all you see. 11 00:00:59,705 --> 00:01:03,705 So I only have Instagram for my business. I didn't have it before. 12 00:01:03,705 --> 00:01:08,585 Yeah, but I did years ago when it wasn't really a big thing and then never used it. 13 00:01:08,585 --> 00:01:12,825 So I don't have a personal Instagram and then like a friend might send me a 14 00:01:12,825 --> 00:01:16,025 reel to my business one about parenting, trick on it. 15 00:01:16,025 --> 00:01:19,545 And then I see things sort of try not to look at non-wedding related things 16 00:01:19,545 --> 00:01:24,345 on my Instagram account. Otherwise, then fills up my feed and not relevant things. 17 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:30,345 I mean, that is that's some discipline right there because that's why I have two separate ones. 18 00:01:30,345 --> 00:01:34,745 Yes, because my work one is actually about it is just pure weddings. 19 00:01:34,745 --> 00:01:39,705 Even then, the type of weddings that I'm seeing, I can only imagine what 20 00:01:39,705 --> 00:01:44,185 couples are seeing a choir, how bonkers these and some of the weddings that you see 21 00:01:44,185 --> 00:01:48,665 on social media are exactly that. They're their wilds and out there. 22 00:01:48,665 --> 00:01:51,625 And I think it's really similar to Pinterest and we're going to do a more 23 00:01:51,625 --> 00:01:55,065 episode on Pinterest as well, which is still quite wide to use. 24 00:01:55,065 --> 00:01:58,905 Yeah, but there's a lot out there where it's staged. 25 00:01:58,905 --> 00:02:03,865 Yes, or it's like even AI and AI, AI, AI, AI. 26 00:02:03,865 --> 00:02:10,025 Or it's like a six-figure budget or, you know, it's social media influencers 27 00:02:10,025 --> 00:02:14,105 who have managed to get quite a lot of stuff at a much lower cost to be able to 28 00:02:14,105 --> 00:02:16,985 present something that is quite so spectacular. 29 00:02:16,985 --> 00:02:23,385 And it's really hard to pick these things apart and actually work out what it is that you like about. 30 00:02:23,385 --> 00:02:28,105 You don't see on social media normal weddings, like that sounds, 31 00:02:28,105 --> 00:02:30,985 you know, normal wedding, that sounds quite derogatory, but you know what I mean? 32 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:35,625 Like a sort of average budget wedding, like those aren't what you see on Instagram. 33 00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,385 No, they're not things that are pushed. 34 00:02:37,385 --> 00:02:41,225 No, you're seeing the things that are ridiculously expensive. 35 00:02:41,225 --> 00:02:45,225 And it's really hard for couples nowadays to be seeing all these. 36 00:02:45,225 --> 00:02:48,985 And once, you know, I love that, I don't have the budget. 37 00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:52,665 Yeah, I think there's no, I think it's the education around it. 38 00:02:52,665 --> 00:02:55,385 Yeah, you need to be able to understand what is affordable 39 00:02:55,385 --> 00:02:57,465 and what is not affordable within these six. 40 00:02:57,465 --> 00:03:01,145 And I think that's where these like videos and things fall down, 41 00:03:01,145 --> 00:03:04,025 is that they could be hang on there. 42 00:03:04,025 --> 00:03:05,305 This was X amount. 43 00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:08,585 It took four days to put together, you know, it's things like that. 44 00:03:08,585 --> 00:03:11,465 The people just look at pretty picture on this thing. 45 00:03:11,465 --> 00:03:14,505 It's the same with, I mean, it goes down to one of the big trends 46 00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:17,385 that's been going on this year and towards the end of last year 47 00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:18,745 is all the ruffled tablecloths. 48 00:03:18,745 --> 00:03:20,665 Yes, yeah, which is stunning. 49 00:03:20,665 --> 00:03:22,505 And it looks really, really cool. 50 00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:24,505 You need 10 times the amount of tablecloths. 51 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:25,225 Yes, yeah, yeah. 52 00:03:25,225 --> 00:03:28,825 Or you need a specific type of tablecloth, which is really hard to get hold of. 53 00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:30,585 What you need to make it yourself. 54 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,785 It's doable. 55 00:03:31,785 --> 00:03:34,425 You just need to know what the options are. 56 00:03:34,425 --> 00:03:35,705 Do you think, though, as well? 57 00:03:35,705 --> 00:03:40,905 Not only do you get everything pushed to you through the algorithm, 58 00:03:40,905 --> 00:03:44,025 but at a phase of your life where you're getting married, 59 00:03:44,025 --> 00:03:45,785 all your friends are getting married as well. 60 00:03:45,785 --> 00:03:50,665 All you see on other people's posts is everyone else's weddings. 61 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,745 When we had our episode with our husbands, 62 00:03:52,745 --> 00:03:56,185 we fell into this trap and that was, you know, 12 years ago. 63 00:03:56,185 --> 00:03:59,065 So-and-so's wedding, so-and-so's wedding, X, Y, Z's wedding. 64 00:03:59,065 --> 00:03:59,865 It's time to get. 65 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,945 You can pass them all around the same time. 66 00:04:01,945 --> 00:04:02,985 It's now. 67 00:04:02,985 --> 00:04:06,265 Everyone posts images on social media. 68 00:04:06,265 --> 00:04:07,785 You've got all those images. 69 00:04:07,785 --> 00:04:08,825 So look at it as well. 70 00:04:08,825 --> 00:04:13,785 So it's really hard to kind of understand what you want from your own wedding. 71 00:04:13,785 --> 00:04:16,425 When you're able to see it for an else's weddings, 72 00:04:16,425 --> 00:04:18,345 it's going on around you as well. 73 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,145 Definitely. 74 00:04:19,145 --> 00:04:22,505 I think it's, you know, not only financially, 75 00:04:22,505 --> 00:04:24,185 is it confusing to see what's going on, 76 00:04:24,185 --> 00:04:27,385 but also when you're seeing so many things that other people are doing, 77 00:04:27,385 --> 00:04:30,105 it's hard to sort of, as I say, sort of like get through the noise 78 00:04:30,105 --> 00:04:32,105 and see what actually is about you too. 79 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,945 And not what's just happening at the time. 80 00:04:33,945 --> 00:04:35,625 We've spoken about trends before. 81 00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:36,265 Yeah. 82 00:04:36,265 --> 00:04:39,065 About not just within a champagne tariff, it's not you. 83 00:04:39,065 --> 00:04:40,825 You know, making your day about yourself. 84 00:04:40,825 --> 00:04:44,905 Your comes up on my algorithm all the time on my work run. 85 00:04:44,905 --> 00:04:46,345 Diet Coke towers. 86 00:04:46,345 --> 00:04:47,865 I wonder why I can do that. 87 00:04:47,865 --> 00:04:48,585 I wonder why I can do that. 88 00:04:48,585 --> 00:04:51,945 Diet Coke wedding cakes and like a diet Coke table. 89 00:04:51,945 --> 00:04:52,585 Everything. 90 00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:53,625 Get sort, Tashlant. 91 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:54,025 Right. 92 00:04:54,025 --> 00:04:54,585 And she loves it. 93 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:55,065 Yeah. 94 00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:55,865 I love it. 95 00:04:55,865 --> 00:04:57,625 I was actually told yesterday about my car approach. 96 00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:58,825 I need to give it up. 97 00:04:58,825 --> 00:05:00,185 Oh, that's a whole other story. 98 00:05:00,185 --> 00:05:00,825 Oh, gosh. 99 00:05:00,825 --> 00:05:04,905 And yeah, you're constantly bombarded with things that may look nice, 100 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,425 but you may not want. 101 00:05:06,425 --> 00:05:08,585 You may feel pressurised to have. 102 00:05:08,585 --> 00:05:09,785 It's just been also. 103 00:05:10,585 --> 00:05:12,745 You've got to think like what's important to you? 104 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:16,345 Like getting married, having a brilliant day with your friends and family 105 00:05:16,345 --> 00:05:17,705 or creating something. 106 00:05:17,705 --> 00:05:19,145 Because it's going to look good on Instagram. 107 00:05:19,145 --> 00:05:19,785 Exactly. 108 00:05:19,785 --> 00:05:20,745 I mean, some of the things. 109 00:05:20,745 --> 00:05:21,865 And if that is you. 110 00:05:21,865 --> 00:05:22,585 Yeah, great. 111 00:05:22,585 --> 00:05:23,865 That's you and do. 112 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:24,425 You do. 113 00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:24,905 You do. 114 00:05:24,905 --> 00:05:27,385 Like if that is what's important to you, 115 00:05:27,385 --> 00:05:29,145 then you need to stick with that. 116 00:05:29,145 --> 00:05:32,905 I ask my clients in my initial consultation 117 00:05:32,905 --> 00:05:36,105 about weddings they've been to in the past and things they love 118 00:05:36,105 --> 00:05:38,265 and things they've been to about those weddings. 119 00:05:38,265 --> 00:05:41,145 And I ask them to really drill down into the specifics. 120 00:05:41,145 --> 00:05:43,225 And I think with something like this 121 00:05:43,225 --> 00:05:44,985 and the pressure of social media, 122 00:05:44,985 --> 00:05:48,665 it's quite important for you to do the same when you sit down together. 123 00:05:48,665 --> 00:05:50,425 So if you've got all these things coming up 124 00:05:50,425 --> 00:05:53,865 and you're starting to save images or saving reels and things, 125 00:05:53,865 --> 00:05:59,225 really hone in on what it is you like about that specific image. 126 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,345 Is it the look? 127 00:06:00,345 --> 00:06:01,145 Is it the colour? 128 00:06:01,145 --> 00:06:02,985 Is it the feel? 129 00:06:02,985 --> 00:06:05,385 Is it the specific tablecloth? 130 00:06:05,385 --> 00:06:08,025 Is it drill down on exactly what it is? 131 00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:10,105 You like about that specific thing. 132 00:06:10,105 --> 00:06:11,785 I can get a better idea. 133 00:06:11,785 --> 00:06:14,505 I've had that with the client recently 134 00:06:14,505 --> 00:06:16,825 where they sent me video of a wedding event. 135 00:06:16,825 --> 00:06:19,225 This is the one I've seen on TikTok that we really like. 136 00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:21,865 Okay, what aspect of it? 137 00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:24,505 Because it was totally different to what they'd said. 138 00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:27,305 Like they were having quite a colourful flowers 139 00:06:27,305 --> 00:06:29,145 but every flower in this photo was white. 140 00:06:29,145 --> 00:06:30,505 And I said, what is it? 141 00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:31,545 Is it the tableware? 142 00:06:31,545 --> 00:06:34,905 Is it the fact that they have nice flowers on the bar 143 00:06:34,905 --> 00:06:38,985 with colourful cocktails like which part of this video of someone's day 144 00:06:38,985 --> 00:06:39,945 is it that you like? 145 00:06:39,945 --> 00:06:42,825 Because we're not recreating the exact same things. 146 00:06:42,825 --> 00:06:45,145 You've already said you want to have like wild flowers 147 00:06:45,145 --> 00:06:48,105 and this was all very structured white flowers. 148 00:06:48,105 --> 00:06:49,945 You know, and as a planner, 149 00:06:49,945 --> 00:06:51,545 you need to make sure you understand that vision. 150 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:54,985 And I think sometimes people get bogged down with what their vision is 151 00:06:54,985 --> 00:06:56,425 because they're like, oh, actually I like that. 152 00:06:56,425 --> 00:06:57,785 I like that. I like that. 153 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,105 And it's necessarily all go. 154 00:07:00,105 --> 00:07:00,825 No. 155 00:07:00,825 --> 00:07:03,865 And unfortunately, if I had my way, 156 00:07:03,865 --> 00:07:06,425 I would have probably had five different weddings to Jamie. 157 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:09,785 If I had the budget, I would have had like a beautiful one, 158 00:07:09,785 --> 00:07:11,705 you know, a pathable street bar. 159 00:07:11,705 --> 00:07:14,745 I would have had like a parcel wedding where I wore a ball gown 160 00:07:14,745 --> 00:07:16,745 or something like a, you know, black tie event. 161 00:07:16,745 --> 00:07:18,905 I would have had our rustic till one. 162 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,665 I would have got married on a beach somewhere. 163 00:07:20,665 --> 00:07:22,585 You know, so you could have like a seashell theme 164 00:07:22,585 --> 00:07:24,345 or imagine Italy and have lemons. 165 00:07:24,345 --> 00:07:26,105 You know, it's brilliant. 166 00:07:26,105 --> 00:07:28,345 If you've got all these ideas, but they don't all go. 167 00:07:28,345 --> 00:07:30,665 Like I had to, you know, get rid of a lot of ideas 168 00:07:30,665 --> 00:07:33,225 and stick to what worked for our rustic bond. 169 00:07:33,225 --> 00:07:34,025 Yeah. 170 00:07:34,025 --> 00:07:36,425 I mean, I think we've spoken in that episode with our husbands. 171 00:07:36,425 --> 00:07:39,385 I really don't remember looking on social media. 172 00:07:39,385 --> 00:07:41,465 I was just like, hmm, the florist. 173 00:07:41,465 --> 00:07:43,385 There's two florists who recommended venue. 174 00:07:43,385 --> 00:07:45,465 I still have my Pinterest board saved. 175 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,625 Yeah, you, I didn't even have time for my wedding thing. 176 00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:48,985 I have my Pinterest board saved. 177 00:07:48,985 --> 00:07:51,865 I mean, a lot of it, I kind of knew in my own head what I wanted. 178 00:07:51,865 --> 00:07:54,345 But trying to explain it to all the people 179 00:07:54,345 --> 00:07:56,265 that was kind of the way I went. 180 00:07:56,265 --> 00:07:58,665 But yeah, I still have it all saved. 181 00:07:58,665 --> 00:08:01,545 And obviously, at the time, Instagram wasn't really a thing. 182 00:08:01,545 --> 00:08:04,665 I think a lot of people use Instagram for their inspiration. 183 00:08:04,665 --> 00:08:06,185 And if they're not using it for their, 184 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:08,825 they're not physically saving things for their inspiration. 185 00:08:08,825 --> 00:08:11,305 They're still using it to look for things. 186 00:08:11,305 --> 00:08:11,705 Yeah. 187 00:08:11,705 --> 00:08:12,825 Screen-shotting those. 188 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,305 Or then, yeah, going on Pinterest and using those. 189 00:08:15,305 --> 00:08:16,985 Or red, it's quite popular now. 190 00:08:16,985 --> 00:08:19,145 We're not for wedding inspiration. 191 00:08:19,145 --> 00:08:23,545 So I think it's such a prominent part of our lives. 192 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,185 It's silly not to utilise that. 193 00:08:26,185 --> 00:08:29,305 It's just being aware of how much you can get bogged down in it. 194 00:08:29,305 --> 00:08:32,585 And I think the other thing that we can do 195 00:08:32,585 --> 00:08:34,985 is it can make you feel really rubbish about your own wedding, 196 00:08:34,985 --> 00:08:36,745 as well as your own plans. 197 00:08:36,745 --> 00:08:40,105 Because you're seeing all this grandeur and everything like that. 198 00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:43,545 You're then comparing it to what your plans are. 199 00:08:43,545 --> 00:08:46,185 And you need to understand that it's totally different. 200 00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:49,145 And I think that that's really hard for couples now. 201 00:08:49,145 --> 00:08:53,145 I think one of the, just, I thought about this while you were talking, 202 00:08:53,145 --> 00:08:54,665 was, I'm glad to know you're listening. 203 00:08:54,665 --> 00:08:59,785 Yeah. Because I'm thinking, you know, 204 00:08:59,785 --> 00:09:03,225 we're comparing our wedding, maybe in a rock relapse. 205 00:09:03,225 --> 00:09:06,425 For me, for example, a rustic barn in the East Sussex countryside 206 00:09:06,425 --> 00:09:11,305 in a local church who, yes, like grand wedding at the side of Lake Komo. 207 00:09:11,305 --> 00:09:13,625 So, of course, my wedding's going to feel inferior. 208 00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:17,305 Well, I think to get around that, one of the best things to do, 209 00:09:17,305 --> 00:09:19,785 and we've kind of said this before, I think, with wedding fairs, 210 00:09:19,785 --> 00:09:23,385 is if you've chosen a venue, follow them and get inspiration from people 211 00:09:23,385 --> 00:09:26,025 who've been at your wedding, or, you know, 212 00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:28,185 so that it's realistic inspiration. 213 00:09:28,185 --> 00:09:34,025 Yes. Yeah. I think we can't compare a marquee in garden, 214 00:09:34,025 --> 00:09:37,625 in sorry, to, I don't know, the castle. 215 00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:40,265 Yeah, the castle is very different. 216 00:09:40,265 --> 00:09:43,865 Yeah, or to, I don't know where I've got this from. 217 00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:46,265 But as soon as someone did, like, a weekend wedding in the Alps, 218 00:09:46,265 --> 00:09:47,865 like with a winter wedding, or something, you know. 219 00:09:47,865 --> 00:09:51,385 Yes, ski dad says, I don't know if I've seen this, 220 00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:53,465 as well, it's very cool. Well, compare. 221 00:09:53,465 --> 00:09:57,785 Like, so I think maybe focusing your social media, 222 00:09:57,785 --> 00:10:00,665 you know, once you've got a venue and things like that, 223 00:10:00,665 --> 00:10:03,385 maybe just stay a bit more focused on the venue, 224 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,585 on, you know, if you follow, if you've chosen your photographer, 225 00:10:06,585 --> 00:10:08,665 look for inspiration from what they've done. 226 00:10:08,665 --> 00:10:10,185 And they're realistic. 227 00:10:10,185 --> 00:10:11,785 Yes. Obviously, what you're going to achieve. 228 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:14,105 Like, there's no point looking at Holly Clark's photos, 229 00:10:14,105 --> 00:10:19,305 if you've got someone who's, you've paid £700 from the local art college. 230 00:10:19,305 --> 00:10:21,785 You know, like, there's no point looking at her editorial, 231 00:10:21,785 --> 00:10:22,985 beautiful photos. 232 00:10:22,985 --> 00:10:23,865 Yeah. 233 00:10:23,865 --> 00:10:25,945 And comparing, because you're just going to feel like your, 234 00:10:25,945 --> 00:10:28,745 isn't, isn't up to the job. 235 00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:32,025 But really, you know, your wedding is about you and getting married. 236 00:10:32,025 --> 00:10:35,545 And your wedding is the best that you can have and want to have. 237 00:10:35,545 --> 00:10:39,145 Exactly. And that's such an important thing to always try and remember. 238 00:10:39,145 --> 00:10:41,625 Like, when you're sitting there doing scrolling the evenings, 239 00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:45,305 wedding after wedding after wedding, or cake after cake after break, 240 00:10:45,305 --> 00:10:48,265 you just got to remember that this is your day for you. 241 00:10:48,265 --> 00:10:50,025 And it should be fun and exciting. 242 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,585 And our pleasure to put together. 243 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:53,145 Yeah. 244 00:10:53,145 --> 00:10:56,825 And if it's reaching the point where you are just getting more and more upset 245 00:10:56,825 --> 00:10:59,945 by what you're seeing on social media and the comparisons you're seeing, 246 00:10:59,945 --> 00:11:03,225 you know, it's easier said than it is. 247 00:11:03,225 --> 00:11:05,305 But it's in all aspects, as we said at the beginning, 248 00:11:05,305 --> 00:11:06,745 all aspects of life, you know, 249 00:11:06,745 --> 00:11:08,265 comparing social media. 250 00:11:08,265 --> 00:11:10,345 It's just, fortunately, how we are at the moment. 251 00:11:10,345 --> 00:11:12,185 But I think people are moving away. 252 00:11:12,185 --> 00:11:15,705 I think the self-esteem of lots sort of being focused on people's mental health. 253 00:11:15,705 --> 00:11:17,065 I think we've realised how it's not. 254 00:11:17,865 --> 00:11:19,945 Yeah. It's not, and it's not all it's right. 255 00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:21,625 It's not what it's cracked up to be. 256 00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:25,945 You see a snippet of someone's day and that might be the first one. 257 00:11:25,945 --> 00:11:26,985 What's it we were talking to? 258 00:11:26,985 --> 00:11:29,465 I'm sure it was on the podcast. 259 00:11:29,465 --> 00:11:35,065 We were talking to someone who said that they had their day filmed 260 00:11:35,065 --> 00:11:38,185 and they looked miserable through the whole thing 261 00:11:38,185 --> 00:11:39,625 and nothing went the way that they wanted 262 00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:42,825 because they were so focused on the style and the aesthetic. 263 00:11:42,825 --> 00:11:43,465 I can't remember who. 264 00:11:43,465 --> 00:11:46,425 And they were so focused on the comparables 265 00:11:46,425 --> 00:11:48,665 of their wedding to other peoples. 266 00:11:48,665 --> 00:11:49,145 Yeah. 267 00:11:49,145 --> 00:11:50,905 There was no nice photos of them. 268 00:11:50,905 --> 00:11:51,225 Yeah. 269 00:11:51,225 --> 00:11:52,825 Because they were just so upset and miserable 270 00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:54,585 because nothing was perfect. 271 00:11:54,585 --> 00:11:54,905 Yeah. 272 00:11:54,905 --> 00:11:56,825 Some of these, it rained on their wedding day. 273 00:11:56,825 --> 00:11:58,585 I can't remember exactly sorry. 274 00:11:58,585 --> 00:11:59,785 That's a pretty rubbish. 275 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:03,465 But I remember at my wedding, 276 00:12:03,465 --> 00:12:05,465 like it was everything I wanted and more. 277 00:12:05,465 --> 00:12:07,305 Now I've been in the industry for so long 278 00:12:07,305 --> 00:12:09,385 and it's, you know, eight years later. 279 00:12:09,385 --> 00:12:11,145 I know that, oh my gosh, I would have done this. 280 00:12:11,145 --> 00:12:13,305 So I compared back and I just need to do it again 281 00:12:13,305 --> 00:12:14,505 when I've got a bigger budget. 282 00:12:14,505 --> 00:12:14,985 Yeah. 283 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,185 And things like that. 284 00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:18,025 But, you know, at the time, 285 00:12:18,025 --> 00:12:20,745 you've got to really just focus on YouTube and what you want. 286 00:12:20,745 --> 00:12:21,625 Yeah, I agree. 287 00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:24,105 And I also think there's such a thing 288 00:12:24,105 --> 00:12:26,025 on weddings being timeless. 289 00:12:26,025 --> 00:12:26,825 Yeah. 290 00:12:26,825 --> 00:12:28,025 I don't agree with this. 291 00:12:28,025 --> 00:12:28,505 Yeah. 292 00:12:28,505 --> 00:12:30,905 You think you chose to get married 293 00:12:30,905 --> 00:12:33,305 in the year you chose to get married in. 294 00:12:33,305 --> 00:12:35,545 Your wedding is going to fit within that year. 295 00:12:35,545 --> 00:12:37,785 Like you cannot help there being subtle trends 296 00:12:37,785 --> 00:12:38,985 and subtle things. 297 00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:40,905 You know, bridal styles changed, 298 00:12:40,905 --> 00:12:42,585 groomed styles changed, 299 00:12:42,585 --> 00:12:45,305 care styles changed, how you look changing. 300 00:12:45,305 --> 00:12:45,625 Yeah. 301 00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:49,065 And I think that wedding should capture that moment. 302 00:12:49,065 --> 00:12:49,705 Yeah. 303 00:12:49,705 --> 00:12:50,745 In your lives. 304 00:12:50,745 --> 00:12:53,865 But you can't look back on it in 15 years time 305 00:12:53,865 --> 00:12:55,545 and it still looked timeless. 306 00:12:55,545 --> 00:12:57,465 Like it just isn't possible. 307 00:12:57,465 --> 00:12:59,705 This goal is trying to achieve a timeless wedding. 308 00:12:59,705 --> 00:13:00,265 Yeah. 309 00:13:00,265 --> 00:13:01,145 Doesn't happen. 310 00:13:01,145 --> 00:13:02,265 I agree with you. 311 00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:04,425 I also, I sort of view timeless. 312 00:13:04,425 --> 00:13:05,945 Like when I use the word timeless, 313 00:13:05,945 --> 00:13:09,305 I think more of reflecting you as a couple 314 00:13:09,305 --> 00:13:11,385 not necessarily what's just trendier. 315 00:13:11,385 --> 00:13:13,945 I view it as like making a timeless wedding 316 00:13:13,945 --> 00:13:16,505 as in one that just truly reflects you. 317 00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:18,505 Yes, there will be elements that are dated, 318 00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:19,785 like bridal styles. 319 00:13:19,785 --> 00:13:20,105 Yeah. 320 00:13:20,105 --> 00:13:22,265 But as in timeless, not just 321 00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:23,945 I want to trend wedding. 322 00:13:23,945 --> 00:13:26,905 Yeah, as in I don't, but I hate champagne. 323 00:13:26,905 --> 00:13:28,105 But just because it's trendy, 324 00:13:28,105 --> 00:13:29,385 I'm going to do champagne tower. 325 00:13:29,385 --> 00:13:32,265 Well, if you have a champagne tower now 326 00:13:32,265 --> 00:13:33,625 and because you love champagne 327 00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:34,985 and that just fits your personality 328 00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:36,105 but in 15 years time, 329 00:13:36,105 --> 00:13:37,785 people have moved on to something else. 330 00:13:37,785 --> 00:13:39,385 Still think that wedding is timeless 331 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:40,905 because it was, you say, 332 00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:43,305 it captures you at the time. 333 00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:44,825 I think of timeless as more as like 334 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,145 anti just following trends, but safe fit. 335 00:13:47,145 --> 00:13:47,705 Yes. 336 00:13:47,705 --> 00:13:50,025 But I agree it's not timeless 337 00:13:50,025 --> 00:13:52,985 because it's capturing a moment in your time, 338 00:13:52,985 --> 00:13:55,385 but as long as it reflects your time at that time. 339 00:13:55,385 --> 00:13:56,345 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 340 00:13:56,345 --> 00:13:57,625 And that's why you switched. 341 00:13:57,625 --> 00:13:58,425 That's the same. 342 00:13:58,425 --> 00:13:58,905 Better. 343 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,585 No, I don't. 344 00:14:00,585 --> 00:14:01,705 No, it's just, yeah. 345 00:14:01,705 --> 00:14:02,665 I guess people have different. 346 00:14:02,665 --> 00:14:04,745 We do throw the word timeless around a lot. 347 00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:05,385 Yeah. 348 00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:07,945 But I think we tend to get people 349 00:14:07,945 --> 00:14:10,105 with our clients who aren't necessarily 350 00:14:10,105 --> 00:14:12,825 trend setters or trend followers. 351 00:14:12,825 --> 00:14:13,865 You're getting married at home, 352 00:14:13,865 --> 00:14:14,505 they're doing something 353 00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,945 or either a lot of styles as well. 354 00:14:15,945 --> 00:14:17,465 No, which is why, I guess, 355 00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:18,985 I kind of think I do timeless weddings 356 00:14:18,985 --> 00:14:21,785 because it's more just what reflects the cuff, 357 00:14:21,785 --> 00:14:22,985 whether it's in trend or not. 358 00:14:22,985 --> 00:14:23,785 I like that. 359 00:14:23,785 --> 00:14:25,625 I like the way you use the word timeless. 360 00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,065 It's very different from the way I use it. 361 00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:28,265 I do agree. 362 00:14:28,265 --> 00:14:31,065 It's like capturing a moment in time from their lives. 363 00:14:31,065 --> 00:14:32,985 So yeah, basically, 364 00:14:32,985 --> 00:14:34,665 when you're using social media, 365 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,985 you know, our top tip is to make sure that 366 00:14:36,985 --> 00:14:38,345 while it's helpful, use it, 367 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,505 but as soon as it's not coming helpful 368 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,105 and it's becoming a bit overwhelming, 369 00:14:42,105 --> 00:14:43,305 let's step away. 370 00:14:43,305 --> 00:14:46,105 Step away if you can set time limits 371 00:14:46,105 --> 00:14:47,785 for when you're going to look at social media 372 00:14:47,785 --> 00:14:48,825 and then go, right, no, 373 00:14:48,825 --> 00:14:50,585 I'm going to go out for a run now 374 00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:51,865 or I'm going to have my dinner. 375 00:14:51,865 --> 00:14:53,145 Something just to take your mind off it. 376 00:14:53,145 --> 00:14:55,065 So you're not just in that downward spiral. 377 00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:56,025 100%. 378 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,265 We had a really interesting question 379 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,545 from a listener that we kind of wanted to share. 380 00:15:01,545 --> 00:15:02,585 Oh, you didn't get around to it. 381 00:15:02,585 --> 00:15:03,065 I don't know. 382 00:15:03,065 --> 00:15:03,545 No, no. 383 00:15:03,545 --> 00:15:07,145 So I think now will be quite a good time to do that. 384 00:15:07,145 --> 00:15:08,745 And the question was, 385 00:15:08,745 --> 00:15:10,665 what do you wish more couples 386 00:15:10,665 --> 00:15:12,345 ask before booking a plan on? 387 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:16,425 Oh, now I have had a thought about this. 388 00:15:16,425 --> 00:15:18,585 And so me, I think the main thing is 389 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,385 is how the process actually works with a plan. 390 00:15:21,385 --> 00:15:24,745 Because obviously we plan loads of weddings 391 00:15:24,745 --> 00:15:26,105 or you know what the process is, 392 00:15:26,105 --> 00:15:28,265 but a lot of people haven't even got married 393 00:15:28,265 --> 00:15:29,945 so they don't know the ins and outs. 394 00:15:29,945 --> 00:15:30,185 No. 395 00:15:30,185 --> 00:15:33,065 I mean, as I know you do, 396 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:34,985 you know, I try to explain the process 397 00:15:34,985 --> 00:15:36,585 how things happen as in 398 00:15:37,065 --> 00:15:39,065 I would research the players, 399 00:15:39,065 --> 00:15:40,185 give them a few options, 400 00:15:40,185 --> 00:15:41,065 expectra like that. 401 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:45,225 But also I find that you can't sit down 402 00:15:45,225 --> 00:15:47,785 and I had a conversation with another plan 403 00:15:47,785 --> 00:15:48,425 of recently about this. 404 00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:51,625 You can't sit down and literally list 405 00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:53,625 every single sort of expectation. 406 00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:55,305 Because otherwise it would be so overwhelming 407 00:15:55,305 --> 00:15:56,265 for the couple. 408 00:15:56,265 --> 00:15:57,385 If you sat there and said, 409 00:15:57,385 --> 00:15:59,785 you will tell me like 410 00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:02,265 the exact wording you want on the invitation 411 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:03,785 wants to give you some options. 412 00:16:03,785 --> 00:16:05,385 You will write the envelopes 413 00:16:05,385 --> 00:16:06,265 and post them. 414 00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:08,665 I will track the RSVPs, 415 00:16:08,665 --> 00:16:10,025 but then you have to chase your guess 416 00:16:10,025 --> 00:16:11,625 if they're not RSVP'd. 417 00:16:11,625 --> 00:16:14,985 I will put out lawn games 418 00:16:14,985 --> 00:16:16,505 that you have purchased from Amazon, 419 00:16:16,505 --> 00:16:17,545 but you need to buy them. 420 00:16:17,545 --> 00:16:19,065 You know, but if you literally sat, 421 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,785 I went to every minute part of wedding planning 422 00:16:21,785 --> 00:16:24,505 in that much detail of who's doing what. 423 00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:26,265 I don't think you can really client. 424 00:16:26,265 --> 00:16:26,505 No. 425 00:16:26,505 --> 00:16:29,865 But I do think that just trying 426 00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:31,945 to maybe, before you book a plan, 427 00:16:31,945 --> 00:16:33,225 to find out how they work, 428 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,985 what their working hours are, 429 00:16:34,985 --> 00:16:37,225 whether they're able to have like a spreadsheet, 430 00:16:37,225 --> 00:16:38,825 whether you want email updates every week, 431 00:16:38,825 --> 00:16:40,905 maybe just find out a little bit more about how it. 432 00:16:40,905 --> 00:16:43,945 So I think it's really good to have an understanding 433 00:16:43,945 --> 00:16:46,985 of how you want to work as a couple. 434 00:16:46,985 --> 00:16:49,785 Because I like what you guys want to do, 435 00:16:46,985 --> 00:16:46,985 Yes. 436 00:16:49,785 --> 00:16:51,785 are you the type of people that just 437 00:16:51,785 --> 00:16:53,785 are off an email at 11 o'clock at night? 438 00:16:53,785 --> 00:16:57,225 Or are you the kind of people that want to have a regular call 439 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,225 and you start everything in that type of thing? 440 00:16:59,225 --> 00:17:02,025 I think setting the expectations and the boundaries, 441 00:17:02,025 --> 00:17:03,705 and then you can understand where your plan, 442 00:17:03,705 --> 00:17:04,905 the way your plan works. 443 00:17:04,905 --> 00:17:05,625 Yeah, as well. 444 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:06,745 Or find a common ground. 445 00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:07,385 Exactly. 446 00:17:07,385 --> 00:17:08,745 Because, you know, it's fine. 447 00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:11,385 I don't mind receiving an email at 11 o'clock at night, 448 00:17:11,385 --> 00:17:14,745 but I would not respond to it until I'm then at my desk 449 00:17:14,745 --> 00:17:16,505 and I have all the information in front of me. 450 00:17:16,505 --> 00:17:18,505 I'm not back on my sleep by 11 o'clock. 451 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,705 And it's the same thing too. 452 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,945 It's not, it's the same on WhatsApp as well. 453 00:17:21,945 --> 00:17:24,985 Like I do communicate via WhatsApp with my clients. 454 00:17:24,985 --> 00:17:26,825 Again, it's when I'm sitting at my desk. 455 00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:27,305 Yes. 456 00:17:27,305 --> 00:17:28,825 I respond from my computer. 457 00:17:28,825 --> 00:17:30,185 What's your computer? 458 00:17:30,185 --> 00:17:31,225 It's a great thing. 459 00:17:31,225 --> 00:17:35,145 The other thing I think that clients, I find, 460 00:17:35,145 --> 00:17:38,425 is they're very, and it's a tricky subject, 461 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,185 so get that, every fairy about a budget. 462 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:41,225 A hundred percent. 463 00:17:41,225 --> 00:17:48,585 And go into most wedding plans with an issue idea of budget, 464 00:17:48,585 --> 00:17:52,025 but no actual set budget. 465 00:17:52,025 --> 00:17:58,425 And I think couples really, you want to know what your plan is. 466 00:17:58,425 --> 00:17:59,785 Where's your limit? 467 00:17:59,785 --> 00:18:02,665 Where can your bank account take you to? 468 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:03,225 That's so- 469 00:18:03,225 --> 00:18:04,505 And doesn't match your ideas. 470 00:18:04,505 --> 00:18:06,345 This is back to the social media thing. 471 00:18:06,345 --> 00:18:07,785 You see things on social media, 472 00:18:07,785 --> 00:18:10,185 and we've got to manage those expectations. 473 00:18:10,185 --> 00:18:12,345 And I had a chat with them a supply of the other day, 474 00:18:12,345 --> 00:18:13,225 and I said, it's really hard, 475 00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,745 because you want to manage the expectations. 476 00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:16,345 It's about my shit on their parade. 477 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,225 You're trying to, you know, I'm not here to go. 478 00:18:19,225 --> 00:18:20,665 Sorry, you can't afford that. 479 00:18:20,665 --> 00:18:21,785 No, you can't afford that. 480 00:18:21,785 --> 00:18:23,945 You want to give them what they want, 481 00:18:23,945 --> 00:18:26,905 but it's trying to do that within their budget. 482 00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:29,785 Yeah. So definitely, I think that was a really good question, 483 00:18:29,785 --> 00:18:32,425 and I think just having a better idea of budget 484 00:18:32,425 --> 00:18:35,945 before you book a planner and also have a willingness 485 00:18:35,945 --> 00:18:37,225 to try and understand how it works, 486 00:18:37,225 --> 00:18:39,625 and find out whether that planner is right for you, exactly. 487 00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:42,185 And next week, we are joined by another really lovely guest. 488 00:18:42,185 --> 00:18:43,865 We're joined by the lovely Nicolette, 489 00:18:43,865 --> 00:18:45,865 who is a singer and a pianist. 490 00:18:45,865 --> 00:18:47,945 We look forward to speaking to you then. 491 00:18:47,945 --> 00:18:49,145 Right, bye.