00:00:06 Sana: Here is a mantra which is worth borrowing for your selflessness. Okay, one of the mantras, but let let me tell you that everything is always working out for me. Simple. You know, almost stubbornly optimistic. And somehow the person who lives by it. It usually does. Um, maybe, you know, it's like a fine line thin line between being completely optimistic and then delusional or, you know, whatever you call. But then for today's episode, listeners on the Mindful Living podcast, we talk about where that belief comes from, what it took to actually earn it across sixty two years of living and how one, just one small children's story is now growing into something meant to help an entire generation of kids discover it for themselves, much earlier than my guest did. But before I introduce my guest to all of you,

00:01:21 Sana: welcome to the Mindful Living Show, I am Sana listeners. Today I'm sitting with someone who is an author, speaker, certified life and executive coach, and the founder of the Inner Magic Club. She's the creator of the children's book Abracadabra. So you may have listened, you know, those of who you are regulars on our network, um, healthy mind awake. You may have listened to my guest on some of the other podcasts. If not, I'll put the link in the episode show notes so you can check it out. But let's welcome Teri L bean. Teri, welcome to the Mindful Living. As always, it's such a joy.

00:02:01 Terry Bean: Sara, thank you so much for having me. I'm really happy to be here and to speak to your audience again, um, through your network. It's really, really wonderful. And I love the way, um, many of the podcasts on the network do delve into this area of just mindset and, uh, how important it is because in my belief for the sixty two years, oh my God, is that. We, the power of our word is probably the most important thing. And I thank your network kind of proves that, you know what I'm saying? Through a lot of, uh, the information that's out there within your network. So thank you for having me and being on it and having me.

00:02:49 Sana: Thank you so much, Terry. That is very, very, so sweet. And, it's not just that, you know, it's a typical children's conversation, but the way I, I, um, started the introduction, um, of course, you know, sixty two years, um, and you have said, Terry, that you have been living, learning, losing, loving, succeeding, stumbling, reinventing a few minutes back just for our listeners, um, Terry and, uh, you know, even with, with me, which happened very recently. and, we, we all have, you know, phases moments. So it's, it's like, we, we all are having our own, pictorial versions of books or maybe, like, you know, stages, plays, acts, we can call it whatever it is, but take us back, Terry, to your journey, especially your childhood. I mean, if it is okay with you.

00:03:46 Terry Bean: Well, of course it is. Um, And we do all have phases in our life where they feel more challenging than others. And I think when I was a child, it was quite challenging. Um, so I was born in sixty three and in, in nineteen sixty three, the term blended family wasn't really a term. Now, probably nine out of ten families are blended where both parents had previous divorces. They come in, they have their own kids, and then they have possibly even an only child. So I was an only child, but I wasn't. I went through a divorce, but I didn't. But I felt the impacts of it, right? So I felt the multitude of emotions that the children were going through, that the parents were going through, um, and their respective divorces and what was, what their reactions were. And quite frankly, I, as an only child and and looking and sensing all of this around me. All I wanted was to be happy. That's all I wanted. I just wanted joy in my life. So I became a bit of a mediator of everything that was going on. And I would always use levity as a way just to kind of ground people, right? To, to take out the seriousness of the moment. Right. And to get a bit more present. And I always say that laughter is the best elixir out there. So Danny, who's in the book and one of the first pages, you see my character in Abracadabra is running down to the lake crying because her parents were arguing. And I realized that that was actually me. That was me. When I would walk out of the elevator in Queens, knowing dad was there because he smoked a cigar. So the cigar smell was in the elevator. and then I would just step out just a little bit just to listen and to see if there was arguing, if there was arguing. All I wanted to do was just run to the back of my room and create play. Is that a very young age? Right. And I'm the youngest, of course, and and then all the angst. But, uh, I think that really, really impacted me, uh, to understanding, first of all, that laughter is a key, right? And, and just, um, in living period. I mean, we all should be laughing and hugging each other every day. Read somewhere there are eight hugs a day for growth. This is a long time ago I read that I was like, that's a lot of hugging. That's a lot, right? It really is. Hopefully you have more people than one, but you know, if you have one, then do it. So I, um, I just always came from that place. There's the story, of course, of me. Uh, where in fourth grade, uh, played Mother Nature on on stage. You may have that as part of your questioning. And I was going out to a very messy, polluted world and, and, and, you know, just mess boggles the whole thing. And at the end, I'm in this, like, rose colored dress with rose colored glasses. And I do believe, uh, it could be where I'm sticking my head in the sand, so to speak. But guess what? It's, it's kind of warm and comfy there sometimes for, for me personally, you know, um. A lot of what we do is from a response place, right? So when we hear something or, or we get agitated or any of these things, uh, we respond and get triggered automatically, especially when it comes to the news and some of the things that are going on in our world right now that we don't necessarily agree with. My, my belief is it's okay not to agree. That's what we're here for, right? It's opinions. It's all of that jazz. But when we get standoffish about it, or, um, I like to use the word indignant. Right. That indignant comes with a cost. It really comes with a cost. It comes with a cost of relationships, of relating in a way that is more loving and kind. And that's what's kind of dissipated, I believe, from our world, the respect that we have for one another, the, uh, the presence, the respect of being present because we're always looking at our cell phones, right? Even in a conversation. Oh my God, we got a ping. We have to see that text right now. What is that about? Right? You have to just stick the phone in the pocket and just stare at someone in their eyes and see what they're feeling, what they're sensing. Be with them. Um, I think that's something that, uh, we're going to turn back to in these next few years, especially with AI and everything, but it's definitely something that's missing right now in society.

00:09:12 Sana: It is missing. It is missing. And, um. I think, you know, um, if, if anyone would say that, no, no, no, everything is fine, then I'll straight away say without any, any second thoughts that you are in a denial. Maybe you do not want to accept or you are in a complete denial right now because deep down you are also aware of the same thing, and we have some very I do not want to, uh, put on labels or, you know, these phrases, but we can see main character energy echo chambers. where or we are just all the time triggered. You mentioned about the ping and I mean, it's it's actually it's bizarre and horrifying that it's kind of now has gotten into DNA that, you know, if there is any ping, any small beep, any notification, it's instantaneous, you're responding, you're just looking, you cannot stay away from your phones. And I actually saw this, um, I don't know if it's a restaurant in New York. Um, I don't know if it was a post or a shot on YouTube where, the restaurant has clearly mentioned that do not bring your phones. You're here for your coffee and you're here for making friends, hanging out with your friends. So no phones here. I don't remember, but I think, you know, maybe people can do some kind of Google search or a search and check it out. There's some restaurant, I think it's in the States only, but I don't remember the exact, uh, city or state it is in.

00:10:59 Speaker 3: I love it.

00:11:00 Terry Bean: Um, I talk about this now a lot and I think, um, parents are doing it more and more. Yet a parent themselves or anyone sitting at a table with children, uh, need to lead by example by not bringing their own phone to the table. Right. So what do we do? Well, the best way to do it is have a basket outside of that table, right? And every time you're sitting down for a meal, you're putting your phone in that basket with it all. So it's not hanging right. So you don't have that movement or that shift of attention from the conversations at hand. That's one thing I talk about you, you talked about everything is always working out for me. So that is a mantra I went through a lot of my time with now, probably in the last, I don't know, maybe twenty years more than anything. Uh, is everything is always working out for me. And I feel the same with the basket of bones that families can create a family mantra sitting down over a weekend and create a family mantra, one that everybody in the family will say every single day, right? And it's not a contest, but try and literally say it multiple times an hour, an hour, right? Your focus also changes because it's not, um, your brain is not all of a sudden filled with everything you have to do all the time. Your brain is filled with everything's working out for me. And guess what? I got the spot in front of this building four days in a row. That's very difficult. Do you? By the way, it's a tiny spot, but the car fits in and it's perfect. Even at three in the morning after I was trying to watch the stars last night, which unfortunately was too cloudy here in New York. So come to the table and start speaking about that mantra and how how many times you spoke it that day and the different, um, things that are happening for you, the magic that's starting to come into your life, right? And what's beautiful about the mantra is that you're not making anybody wrong at the table for not necessarily saying it. That's very important. And secondly, it brings the family closer. It's something that the family does together as a unit. And that's one of the things that I'm trying to do with technology as a whole. Technology is not there for us to be separated and divided. We can take technology and make it something that strengthens the family and the connection between us. And that's exactly what I'm doing with, uh, the inner Magic Club. The Inner Magic Club is going to be out by the end of the year. I'm extremely excited about it. It's an interactive platform for children and families to come together and build their social emotional learning skills, right? So these children can walk away from their experience with a lot more trust in themselves and confidence in themselves and self-reliance, whereby they're not always looking out side of themselves for approval anymore. And that's so much of what we're doing now, right? With the thumbs up and the pings and all of that. How many pings can I get? How many texts can I get? I mean, all of this stuff is pointing outside of us instead of inside of us to understand that, yeah, it's nice to get the approval, but the most important approval we can give is the one to ourselves, the most important conversation we can have and relationship we can have is the one we have with ourselves. And when children believe that, and they start understanding the power within them to create lives they love. Unlike so many adults that dislike their lives, and it's a crime that they do truly dislike their lives, this should not be so. Children who step into that kind of power will create lives that they love. And when they do that, they're happier, they're kinder, and they're more connected to themselves and others around them. And that's the kind of world that I'm looking to leave, because I really, truly believe that people who love their lives are definitely kinder people. And we need more kindness in this world.

00:15:34 Sana: Absolutely. There's a dearth of it right now. We do need more, more of kindness. And and I also believe, Terry, just to add on to this, because I think this is connected, with your work and you mentioned about mantras. I also think that, technology, it can become, you know, like a huge, like this magical paintbrush, but the imagination, the conceptualization, um, the stories, everything it comes from within us. So, I think especially for children, like if I go back to, if we go back to our days before internet, I mean, we, we, we saw, how imagination it create, it has created wonders which are now cherished by the younger generations as well. So I also think that imagination is something irrespective of, whatever podcast we are on, whatever topic we are talking about. It is it is something that it should be encouraged and, motivated practice. I don't know, I'm not getting the right verbs right now, but it is something that everyone, especially we as children, definitely it needs to be motivated and encouraged.

00:16:58 Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:16:59 Terry Bean: So I completely agree with you, Sana. Imagination is something that in some ways has been, um, squelched out, so to speak, I guess for another term or stomped out of us children when we start turning into adults, one thing that, uh, we tend to do is say to people, you can't be silly. No one's going to take you seriously. And if you're an adult, they won't take you serious. So that's what's happened in doing that is then you grow up into adult and all of a sudden you have to be this very serious person. Where's the fun in that? Right. And I get, you know, that there are serious subjects out there. There's no doubt. Um, and there are challenges out there. There's no doubt. But there are two things. One, if you if you're not liking the story you're in and you're not liking the narrative that you're actually writing for yourself every day, change the channel. Just switch it up. Take a look at your life and really decide, you know, do you like this story or not? Because you don't you don't live it. You know, start to rewrite your script. And every single one of us has our own script. So decide on what kind of person you're, the values that you have and what kind of person you want to be, and step into that even before you are it. That's what's really, really important to.

00:18:36 Speaker 4: Of course.

00:18:37 Terry Bean: The other thing which happens, but yeah, I um. It's changing the story of and it's also choosing truly choosing your response before the trigger becomes the response. Yeah. Okay. Because it's very easy, guys. I don't know, most of you know this, that I, um, I reside and take care of my ninety two year old mom. She knocked on my door three times by the third, I was like, you know, but every time I just have to slow down and realize that she's ninety two. She's going through a lot at her age this morning where her hands, what do I put on my hands? My hands are really hurting me. And I help her, you know, with whatever I can do to help her. And what are we having for dinner? And can, you know. So if a constant, constant, constant thing. And what it's taught me is that. Patience when we're dealing with each other in circumstances is extremely important. Right. And the, the empathy that you have to have to step into someone else's shoes and to treat them with compassion, especially here in the United States, I believe it's much different in India that you have a sense of respect, I think, for the elderly that we don't as much here in the States. And I think it's very sad because I believe that the elderly have wisdom that we can truly learn from. Right. And I always wanted to write a book called Golden Nuggets and go around to old people and ask them what was, you know, just give me one thing, one thing, you know, and just keep on going through. And I thought that would be a great book. Still do. But yeah, great kind of time. Can there be more than twenty four hours in a day? So so we, um, but with mom, it was really interesting. I mean, we went through a period of time of three years when I, back when I was fifty years old that we weren't talking for three years. Okay. So it takes a lot to sit down and make a decision and a choice. And getting super vulnerable with yourself and with other people around you and not being frightened of vulnerability. Just literally speaking from the heart. And I knew back when I was fifty three, when I was coming back up to New York for a weekend that I needed to reconnect. I knew I needed to reconnect. And there I was in a snowstorm and I bought my mom chicken in the pot. It's called. And a hot dog. And I sat at the front door and rang that bell on a snowy. I mean, we were having to meet a snowstorm here, and I was coming from Florida, and I sat there and she opened the door, mouth wide open, completely shed tears, and both of us just shed tears and hug. Well, it takes some. Yeah. I think we have to go through pain. Yes. Does she still remember those times? Just like an elephant when it comes to her memory, you know? And, uh, there are those sometimes those challenging conversations yet again, I take a look at challenges and I, I step into a challenge for a conversation that could be conflicting with more of a sense of curiosity. So when you step into these conversations with more of a sense of curiosity when you're asking questions, you're asking, you're engaging, you're asking questions of yourself and of the person. You're giving them the presence that they need. Right? And the acknowledgement that they need, that we all deserve. Right? And then we take a look at it and we understand that no matter how that conversation goes, if we're both understanding each other, it's not about one win, one lose. It's not about that. It's about just voicing, understanding, right, and giving people the space that they deserve to speak from their heart and from their voice. That's really, really important. And when a challenge comes, I always say that there's a gift. And the gift in that challenge is actually the learning. That's the gift. Learning is the gift and the gifts are learning. And if we could go into every day like that, of what am I going to learn today? Right. What's going to come up where I'm going to, you know, some kind of lights going to go off and we'll be that much brighter.

00:23:51 Sana: I think. you beautifully, beautifully, uh, so eloquently articulated it. And of course, with, with the heartfelt, you know, moments, um, with, with your mother. The challenges were, of course, the love and light and hope. I think, um, I think, you know, uh, the greatest magic, it's not just what we see outside, but it's more inside. And, uh, I, I know we have crossed the minute mark, but Terry, um, quickly because what you are doing through inner magic club and I think, uh, this episode may not be reaching out to the kids or children, However, to to anyone listening, especially parents, grandparents, educators, you know, um, we deep down, we all know that we want to, um, we want to make sure that the world that we are going to leave behind for our, younger generations and the future generations, it is livable, it's enjoyable, it is nourishing, nurturing, and in whatever capacity possible, whatever we can do through any, any way, I think everyone, everyone will come running and do it. So for our listeners, if they would like to explore the Inner Magic Club, be a part of it or reach out to you, um, if they have, you know, their own experiences to share how they can do that.

00:25:22 Speaker 5: Oh, I would love that actually.

00:25:24 Terry Bean: Because right now I'm looking for one hundred founding families. So right now you can get on the inner magic club, you can subscribe. All you're really going to get right now is nothing. I don't have anything in the back end, but I have a in terms of engaging emails and such. That's all coming. But what you can do is become a founding member. I'm looking for a hunter. If they're going to get the platform for free for six months or two a year. Uh, once it goes live, that's one. But I'm looking for input. I mean, this is a chance for people to really give me their input on, on a startup, right? So that's one. Secondly, the way they can contact me direct is through Caribbean author dot com and the contact page there. And you could always write me any time. And I'm happy once, once again, you become a founding member. I'm happy to have conversations with you around what I'm creating and kind of extrapolate maybe some ideas that you have, you know, with regard to building it. But, um, Inner magic club is just absolutely going to be phenomenal. And you'll see, uh, a bit of a sketch of it on that page, the inner magic club dot com. So thank you for that. I'm very excited to bring this to the world. Really, truly. Yeah.

00:26:39 Sana: That's really, really, um, wonderful. It's inspiring. And listeners, um, to make sure that you, all of you get access to that, all the details and links will be there in the show notes. So I invite all of you to check out the Inner Magic Club and be a part of it. And of course, check out Abracadabra. And you can also hear two other episodes. We, uh, Terry has been a part, you know, of with us and Terry, thank you so much. This was a very hopeful, empowering and a very loving conversation.

00:27:15 Terry Bean: Yeah. Thank you so much as well. And to your audience. Hi, everybody.

00:27:20 Sana: And thank you to all the listeners for tuning in to the Mindful Living. Until next time, I'm Sana and I'll be back soon with another episode. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Thank you so much.