At 37 weeks, they told my daughter she'd have a dead baby.

If she didn't get induced at 39 weeks, something actually was happening.

And as a labor nurse with 16 years of experience, I knew the difference immediately.

Hey Mama.

I'm Trish or Labor Nurse Mama.

You may know me as I am an online birth educator, a 16 year high risk labor and delivery nurse, and I started Labor Nurse Mama, where I help expecting moms feel prepared from bump to baby instead of feeling scared.

Now, I am sitting here right now holding my granddaughter who was born a week ago, and a lot of you guys have asked me, can we see her face?

We have chosen.

To not show Grayson my youngest son's face because he's a child and he didn't ask for social media, and my daughter feels the same way as I do.

You don't show your children's face on social media.

Well, that's the choice we've made.

I'm not judging anyone, but that's just the choice we've made.

I've been recognized in other countries and it's a little bit scary and honoring, but I don't want that for this baby.

So here's what we're gonna talk about.

Today we're gonna talk about what happened with my daughter a couple weeks ago.

So 37 weeks.

My daughter's OB told her if she didn't get induced, she was going to have a dead baby.

And two weeks later, at 39 weeks and two days, something actually was wrong with the baby.

And as a high risk labor and delivery nurse was 16 years of experience.

I knew it immediately but here's what nobody tells you about.

The difference between convenience, inductions and necessary inductions, and why my daughter's birth went from a threatened, unnecessary induction to one of the most beautiful births I've ever witnessed.

Even though I had to stand in the corner and I wasn't allowed to look.

Whoa.

Now, today I am sharing her birth story with her permission because she wants you to know that you can also advocate for yourself

and accept interventions when they're truly needed.

Those two things are not a contradiction.

They're actually what informed decision making looks like.

Now, some of you guys may know we had a winter storm here in Nashville, which is why I am holding my granddaughter because they came to stay with us because she just had a baby.

And she is healing baby is new and we get to have them here with us, which is amazing.

So I'm recording this podcast holding my granddaughter.

So you may hear some ruckus out in the house and you may hear her sweet little noises she's making.

But I wanna tell you what happened because this birth story has two parts, and understanding both of them might change the way you think about your own birth.

So to put it in context, a few weeks ago, I did a whole episode about what happened at my daughter's 37 week appoint.

She goes in, she gets a BPP, which is a biophysical profile, it's an ultrasound.

Everything's doing great.

Her OB comes in after the ultrasound and tells her how amazing the baby looks, how good she looks, but then says, did you schedule your induction for next week?

And my daughter says, no, and I'm not getting induced, and the OB literally says to her, well, you don't wanted a baby, do you?

No medical indication.

Baby's heart rate was perfect.

Growth was perfect, fluid was perfect.

Lungs look great.

Blood pressure on Mama was great.

Literally nothing wrong.

Just fear, just this blanket statement of if you don't let us control this, something bad will happen.

And it makes me crazy because I saw this throughout my whole career and I really truly can't believe it's still happening in 2026.

But here's what I need you to understand.

I am not anti intervention.

People call me crunchy with a site of medical, and I love that because it's true.

I am a high risk labor and delivery.

In Rochelle.

I worked in the top levels, the highest level of NICU hospitals.

Four years.

I worked as a travel labor nurse for most of my career, going to all the top facilities in the US and I believe in inductions when they're needed.

I believe in C-sections when they're needed.

I believe in epidurals.

I believe in Pitocin.

I believe in monitoring.

I believe in all of it when it's needed, but only when there's an actual medical reason or mama wants it.

Not for convenience for anyone but you.

Not because it's easier on their schedule, not because of fear, but for a reason.

So my daughter.

She's a badass, y'all.

She just didn't fall for it.

She asked questions.

She said What specifically is concerning?

And when they couldn't give her a real answer beyond this is just what we recommend, she said, no thank you, and I'm going home and you guys can listen to that full episode.

We'll link it to the in the show notes.

And she advocated for herself.

She stood her ground.

She went home and she continued her pregnancy, but then at 39 weeks, in two days, something actually went wrong.

It.

So my daughter had actually been in early labor probably for about a day.

Nothing crazy.

Some contractions, she's losing her mucus plug, just the early labor stuff.

But then she calls me and she says, mom, the baby's not moving and listen to me.

I do not mess around with that.

No labor nurse does.

You should never mess around with it.

I don't care if you feel embarrassed.

I don't care if you think you're overreacting.

I don't care if you're worried about being, and I say this in quotes, that patient.

If your baby is not moving, normally you call your provider and you get checked out.

Period.

Period.

End of story.

Because fetal movement is how we know that baby is getting enough oxygen and you're the only one that can tell us that.

When babies aren't moving, it means something might be going on and we need to check it out immediately.

So I don't even have her drive to her hospital because it's like 45 minutes away.

I said, Laney, go to the one by your house.

I'm meeting you there.

I get in my car.

I drove faster than I've ever driven.

Like normally it takes me 25 minutes.

I got there in 14 minutes.

Probably bad, but I was praying the whole way there and I was really scared.

I walk into triage 'cause they bypass, she goes in the emergency room, they send her straight up to triage and within about a few minutes of watching her on the monitor, I can see it.

The baby's baseline heart rate is.

Fine, but there are no accelerations.

There's no reactivity.

The pattern is just flat, blah, and my daughter's having contractions every five minutes, but they're not strong enough.

Her body was trying, but it's not getting there, and I'm watching it and I'm like, okay.

Not good.

I literally pulled out my phone, and texted my husband and said, they're definitely going to augment her.

Something's going on with this baby.

And sure enough, the midwife comes in a little bit later and says, we really need to think about.

Getting this baby out because this baby needs to come out.

It's kind of choking me up a little.

'cause it was scary.

Y'all baby's not looking great.

You're contracting.

You're not progressing.

We need baby to come out.

And you know what my daughter said?

She said, okay.

And the reason that matters is because she was absolutely against induction.

Unless it was needed, she wasn't against induction just because this time, there's actually reason at 37 weeks, no reason.

Pure convenience.

Pure fear-based practice.

At 39 weeks in two days early labor baby is showing signs of not getting enough oxygen.

Mom's body is trying, but not quite getting there.

Actual medical necessity, and this is what interventions are for, and this is why she gets to choose.

She gets to make a decision.

This is why they exist, not for convenience, but for moments like this.

Now, just because she agreed to the augmentation, which means helping her labor go on with some intervention rate, just because she agreed that it was necessary didn't mean she just handed all her control over and said, do whatever you want.

And I, I know a lot of you guys, when you find out that you need an intervention or induction or what have you, you throw your hands up and you're thinking, now I'll never get the birth I wanted.

But that is not true.

You can still have boundaries.

She had boundaries.

She still had preferences, and she negotiated.

She told them, yes, you can start Pitocin.

Yes, we understand it's needed and we agree, but here are my conditions.

You're going to start it low and go up slow.

That means slow dose increases slowly over time.

And once my labor is established, once my body takes over, you're turning it off.

She did not want it running the whole time, which is perfect.

They weren't super duper thrilled, but they really didn't bulk it.

Most hospitals just wanna start it, leave it on, keep.

Pumping it in.

Right.

But here's the thing, you can still advocate for yourself even when you need an intervention.

And the thing is, they did amazing and they listened to her and they, they gave their suggestions, but they backed up and they let her make decisions.

So they asked, now we need to do a cervical check, which they did need to do because they needed to see, you know, where she's starting from.

And this was her first cervical exam.

She wasn't too thrilled.

She had refused them up until this point, because why do you need them?

Unless you're in labor, you don't.

They check her.

She's three centimeters, 70% of face and negative two station, which honestly for a first time mom who's only been in early labor, it's amazing.

So all of the labor nurse, mom prep work that we do and that she did for the last few weeks really paid off.

I learned some techniques from an old school midwife years ago, and that's what I teach inside my classes, and that's what I have my students do, and my daughter did them religiously.

Her body was ready and I'm like throwing a fist up, right?

They also asked if they could do a membrane sweep, which is where they take their finger as they're doing the cervical exam and they sweep around your cervix to separate the membranes from the uterine wall and it can help release prostaglandins and kind of tell your body, Hey, it's go time.

And so when she said, mom, should I, I said, yeah, girl, I would do it.

It's a great way to help things go along since we're being induced.

Or augmented.

Anyway, so she agreed.

They started the Pitocin.

They went up really slowly, really carefully, and within hours, her body took over.

Now, here's what I want you to know.

They did not recognize that, but I know my girl and I knew her body was taking over.

She had been having pretty regular contractions, but they got stronger.

They go closer together, and pretty soon I knew like, these are not producing contractions.

This is her body and.

One little snag V is they had come in and even though I told them her body was taking over, like.

They just weren't recognizing that.

And because she refused any more cervical exams and refused to let them break her water, which I think it upset them a little bit, they were like talking about like turning everything off and sending her home.

'cause now the baby looks better, which is kind of ridiculous.

But at this point, I knew my daughter's body was taking over.

I knew she was transitioning into active labor, real labor, and the staff wanting to do cervical, you know, checks.

But she's saying no.

But finally.

Here's what most people don't know.

You don't actually need continuous cervical exams.

They don't change your management unless you're being induced.

So you know, there's an indication, like, I need one.

And so that's kind of what I teach my students and what I taught my daughter, because most of the time they're dissatisfied us, the team.

The only time you really need one is, you know.

Something needs to change in your care or you feel like you wanna push and then you don't necessarily need one anyway.

So she kept refusing until just by watching her.

I knew she was in active labor, like real active labor.

She's making low guttural noises.

She was in the zone.

She was, you know, she changing her temperament.

She was doing things with her hips, like moving.

I could tell her face had changed.

I know this girl, right, and I've watched thousands of women labor.

I knew she was progressing.

I go out and I make a deal with the staff after talking to my daughter, of course, and I said, okay, here's the deal.

You can check her.

They had been wanting to break her water, which was not necessary, but we told them if she's six centimeters or more, you can break her water.

Because at that point we knew like didn't matter.

And that's what I tell my students.

If you want it after you're inactive layer, go for it.

But if you do that.

If she's six centimeters, we break her water, you turn off the Pitocin, they checked her six centimeters, a hundred percent a face zero station.

Oh my God.

My girl was a rockstar.

They break her water, turn off the Pitocin and y'all, it was game time.

Now at this point, she also wanted nitrous oxide, which was okay.

That was her plan.

Like that was her help.

But this is where the story gets really personal in a way.

I didn't expect my daughter had been very clear with me.

From the beginning, she did not want me to see her vagina.

She didn't want me down there.

She didn't want me in nurse mode.

She wanted me to be her mama and I'm standing there, right?

Uh, 16 years as a high risk labor and delivery nurse.

I've caught hundreds of babies.

I've been at thousands of birth.

I probably have more skill, uh, of anyone in that room except maybe the midwife.

I'm older than all of them.

Y'all.

I know exactly what to do, what to watch for, how to help, and I had to stand in the corner.

She kept worrying about me.

Even in labor, she kept looking over to make sure, like when they were looking at her do anything or changing pads, that I wasn't looking.

And at this point I know she's getting close, she's in transition and I'm thinking, and I even talked to the nurse.

I said, I may just quietly leave and go out because I don't want her to worry about me.

Because as much as I wanted to be there, as much as my nurse brain was screaming at me to help her, she's my daughter, I didn't want her worrying about anyone while she was trying to push out a baby.

So I positioned myself in the corner where she could see me, and I made sure that she could see the side of my head and that I was looking at the wall and she could see I wasn't looking.

So she didn't have to worry because here's the thing, it wasn't my birth, it was hers.

Even though I'm a labor nurse, even though I'm her mama, even though I wanted to so badly help, the most important thing I could do was honor her boundaries.

And from that corner facing that wall, I listened to my daughter, push my granddaughter into the world.

30 minutes.

She pushed for 30 minutes pretty much unmedicated.

She used the nitrous oxide, which doesn't really take pain away.

It just takes a little bit of edge off.

The Pitocin was off, her body was doing it, and she was a freaking queen.

She was incredible.

And then I heard it.

I'm choked of y'all that first cry and the midwife was like, she's here, and I couldn't see her.

I couldn't see her.

But then when her partner cut the cord, one of the nurses took a picture and snuck a picture of my daughter and my granddaughter.

And my granddaughter was perfect and pink and crying, and my daughter was glowing with the most beautiful smile on her face.

Ooh.

So let me tell you what I learned from this experience because I think there's something really important here that every pregnant mama needs to hear

the difference between what happened at 37 weeks and what happened at 39 weeks isn't just about timing, it's about necessity versus convenience, and it's about fear-based practice versus evidence-based care.

So at 37 weeks, no medical indication, baby was perfect.

Pure fear tactics, dead baby threats with no basis in reality blows my mind.

At 39 weeks, baby is showing concerning signs.

Mom's body is trying but not progressing.

Real medical necessity.

Interventions used appropriately within boundaries.

I hope y'all can hear my granddaughter making her little baby noises because I love it.

She's in my arms, y'all, and I'm, I'm loving it.

And here's what I want you to take away from this.

My daughter was able to say no at 37 weeks because she was educated.

She knew to ask questions.

She knew that you gonna be, this many weeks isn't a medical indication, and she knew her right.

She did take my classes, just so you know, which was funny.

My daughter listening to her mom teaching and she even messaged me at one point and said, mom, you said the B word you said, bitch in in your episode, which I don't swear very much and I never swore around my kids.

So that was kind of funny.

But that.

Anyhow, and then at 39 weeks when there was a real problem, she was able to make informed decisions about what interventions to accept and on what terms, her terms.

She just didn't just say, oh, okay, hand over all my controls.

She negotiated, she advocated, she made choices.

That is not being difficult.

That's not being a bad patient, that's being an educated patient.

And every single woman deserves that.

And the second thing I learned is even as a liver nurse, even as someone who has all the training and all the experience, sometimes the most important thing you can do is step back.

It's honoring someone's boundaries.

It's letting them have their birth, not the birth you want for them.

Was it hard to stand in that corner?

Hell yes.

Did my nurse brain go crazy wanting to help?

Absolutely.

But would I do it again in a heartbeat?

Because it was her birth and she got to have it exactly the way she needed to.

Side note y'all.

She told me next baby, I get to be up next to her.

She really wanted me next to her, but she couldn't communicate that during, and I just felt like the best thing was to give her space.

If you're pregnant and you wanna feel this prepared, this confident, this, able to make decisions even when things don't go to plan.

I wanna help you all.

The prep we did in the last few weeks that got my daughter to three centimeters and 70% a phase before we even started augmenting.

I teach that.

I teach how to advocate for yourself.

Teach all of that.

I teach the difference between necessary interventions and convenience.

I teach that I have a free birth class linked below called Three Secrets to a Smoother, faster Birth, and it walks you through my system and the same system I used with my daughter.

And then at the end, I give you a pretty sweet offer into the birth classes, and I want you to know that the care that I give my daughter, I give to my students.

The ones who show up and hang out with me, like I love these girls and I am going to drop a little audio in here.

One of my students who was due a week after my daughter.

I'm gonna give you a little audio because she had her baby this weekend and she sent me the sweetest little memo, and I want you guys to hear it because I want you to know that I give every one of my students that meet me that wanna come and hang out with me.

I don't just have a online birth class where you take it and you leave.

I actually come alongside you.

So I would love to hear from you guys.

I want you to listen to this little clip and then I'll be right back.

So I put my hand on there and I felt my water bag.

And at first I was like, oh my God.

That's the head.

That's the head.

And then I was like, wait, no, it's the water bag.

And the hospital called me back at that second and I was like, I feel her head.

And then I was like, wait, no, I just feel my my bag.

And they were like, okay, you need to come in, but like I don't think you can come in, call an ambulance.

And I was like, no, I'm not calling an ambulance.

And my mom was like, okay.

She's like, do you want me to drive you to the ER or do you want me to drive you to the hospital, which is 45 minutes away?

And then I was like, you know what?

Call the ambulance.

I'm not leaving this house.

And at that point, that was two o'clock or like 2 0 5.

At two 10, the ambulance, or two 15 the ambulance showed up.

And then at two 50 she was born.

So when I called the ambulance, they were like, get her on her bed, on her back, and I was like, I'll go to my bed, but I'm not getting on my back.

So I gave birth in hands and knees on my bed and it was crazy.

Like I had the fetal ejection reflex the whole entire time, and it was just.

It was so crazy.

As soon as she came out, she was crying and I was like, thank God.

It was so funny.

I heard her cry.

I was like, okay, we're good.

then I saw all the fluid.

And whatever on the bed.

And I was like, get me a towel.

Like I ruined my mom's poor brand new comforter.

It was so funny.

And then they were like, okay, do you wanna flip over and holder?

And I was like, yeah, but oh my gosh guys.

It was the craziest story of all time.

Like, I can't believe that happened from the moment.

I like finally was like, okay, yeah, I'm in birth or I'm in labor.

She was born an hour later and the.

EMTs were like, one of the EMTs was like, okay, I think we can at least get you to the er.

'cause the ER is like 10 minutes away.

And then one of the guys who came up, he had done four deliveries as an EMT, he was like, no, we are staying here.

This baby is coming now.

And she was crowning.

And I wasn't even pushing, like I wasn't even pushing.

My body was pushing.

And finally, they were telling me, they were like, push, push, push, push, push.

And I started to feel a ring of fire and I was like, I was like, uh, you know, like I'll maybe just like push a little, but like I don't wanna push her out right now.

And then I heard my mom, she goes, oh my God, Camilla, Camilla push.

And I was like, well, if my mom's saying it, 'cause she was silent, like terrified in the corner.

I was like, if my mom's saying it, I need to do it.

And I pushed and I felt her head come out and then I thought I was done.

But they were like, no, you have to push the rest of her body out.

And I just.

Pushed as hard as I could.

And she came out and then they took me in an ambulance to the hospital here.

And I, we did skin to skin to skin the whole entire time in the ambulance to the hospital and the hospital here.

They ended up.

Giving me Pitocin after 45 minutes because my, placenta was not coming out, but my placenta finally came out.

Once I got to the hospital, they just put some pressure on my stomach and it came out and everything's great.

I'm not bleeding a lot.

Like we literally couldn't be healthier.

She's so healthy and I am so happy and I cannot believe that was my birth story and I'm.

Like part of me is like scared to say it, but I'm so fricking proud of myself because I was laboring alone.

And then at the last 30 minutes everyone came, like my fiance came at the same time as the ambulance and he was like, oh my God.

Because I told him I was fine and told him to keep working because I'm crazy.

And anyways, that's a lot.

We can talk more later if you want, but that's the update.

She's currently sleeping on my chest and she latched perfectly and she is just so happy and I'm so happy and I just can't believe I did it and God was by my side the whole time and it was just, it was amazing.

And I couldn't have done it without you guys.

I couldn't have done it without you.

Trish, you really like.

Just helped me so much and changed my mindset so much.

There was not one second that I was scared.

I was just like, this is a little painful.

This is really painful, but I'm not scared because I know I can do this.

And it was just so amazing and I'm literally crying right now.

But thank you.

Sorry for this long, long to breathe.

But thank you so much Trish, and thank you so much, Ashley.

Oh my goodness, you guys.

So that was Camilla, one of my students who, like I said, I just love her to death.

I'm getting ready to FaceTime her in just a little bit because my mamas mean so much to me.

They're a part of my life and I'm a part of theirs.

And I just wanted you to hear that 'cause it was.

So amazing.

I was screaming.

So here's what I want from you guys.

Drop a comment and let me know.

Have you ever felt pressured into an intervention you didn't need, or have you had an experience where an intervention was actually necessary and you're glad you had it?

I wanna hear your story.

I wanna hear we read all the comments because here's what I believe you deserve to feel empowered about your birth, not scared.

You deserve to have the information to make educated decisions.

And you deserve to have a birth that you feel good about.

Whatever that looks like.

As always, make sure you guys subscribe and leave us a review.

Please leave a review.

It really tells the powers that be that you love our podcast, and it means a lot to us to hear from you guys.

And I just want you to know I adore you.

We love you guys.

We're so here for you, and we'll see you again next week.

Bye for now.