1 00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:04,110 Gift biz unwrapped episode 47. 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:06,920 I think anchor is such a beautiful expression. 3 00:00:07,070 --> 00:00:09,290 We just never learned how to appropriately share it or deal 4 00:00:09,290 --> 00:00:09,620 with it. 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:11,570 Hi, this is John Lee, 6 00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:13,730 Dumas of entrepreneur on fire, 7 00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:16,280 and you're listening to the gift of biz unwrapped, 8 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:21,020 and now it's time to light it up. 9 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,550 Welcome to gift biz, 10 00:00:22,670 --> 00:00:26,540 unwrapped your source for industry specific insights and advice to develop 11 00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:27,650 and grow your business. 12 00:00:28,010 --> 00:00:30,680 And now here's your host Sue Monheit. 13 00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:32,600 Hi there. 14 00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:36,020 I'm Sue and welcome to the gift biz unwrapped podcast. 15 00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:38,690 Whether you own a brick and mortar shop sell online or 16 00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:39,920 are just getting started, 17 00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:43,190 you'll discover a new insight to gain traction and to grow 18 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:44,570 your business today. 19 00:00:44,570 --> 00:00:46,640 I am so honored to have Dr. 20 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,960 Sean duper on spending time with us today from London to 21 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,130 Athens, to Munich, 22 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,900 to across North America, 23 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,160 Dr. Sean duper on a six time Emmy award winner and 24 00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:02,360 nominated Nobel peace prize nominee is a good gossip researcher. 25 00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:03,770 She travels the globe, 26 00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:05,270 educating corporations, 27 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,190 entrepreneurs, universities, 28 00:01:07,220 --> 00:01:11,450 and government agencies on what inspires people to share good things 29 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,120 and how to powerfully lead with compassion. 30 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:19,310 Her case study is project forgive a nonprofit leadership foundation that 31 00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:21,650 reaches millions in social media. 32 00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:23,870 You've seen her featured in major media, 33 00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:25,130 including CNN, 34 00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:28,610 ABC, Inc magazine and USA today. 35 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,670 To name a few this PhD in gossip. 36 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:32,300 And yes, 37 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:36,260 I did say gossip used gossip theory to make project forgives 38 00:01:36,290 --> 00:01:37,490 five minute video, 39 00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:38,600 go viral, 40 00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:42,770 even capturing an endorsement from Archbishop Desmond Tutu. 41 00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:44,000 Welcome to the show, 42 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,860 Shawn, over and above your intro. 43 00:01:48,890 --> 00:01:51,230 I'd like to learn a little bit more about you through 44 00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:52,310 our podcasts, 45 00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:55,520 traditional, albeit a little bit different approach. 46 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:59,000 If you were to describe a motivational candle that portrays your 47 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,010 personality and your passion, 48 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,030 what would it look like? 49 00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:02,570 In other words, 50 00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:04,640 what color would you gravitate to? 51 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,140 And what is your favorite quote? 52 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:10,130 So the nomination for Nobel peace prize is new. 53 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,040 So that's a learning how to step into that kind of 54 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,750 energy. And it's a very beautiful thing. 55 00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,190 So before that last week, 56 00:02:16,190 --> 00:02:18,920 I would have definitely said pink because I love pink. 57 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,160 The transitions that have happened even in the last week, 58 00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:23,870 I would say gold, 59 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:28,430 gold, like this deep burnt kind of yellow gold would be 60 00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:30,440 my motivational color in a candle. 61 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,120 And my favorite quote is mine. 62 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,650 I know it sounds so self-serving and for me, 63 00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:39,650 forgiveness is the ultimate of everything in life. 64 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,900 And my favorite quote is mine that I share a lot 65 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,600 in project forgive and it's called accept the apology. 66 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:45,740 You'll never receive, 67 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,380 which to me is the epitome of maturity and leadership. 68 00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:51,320 Ooh, I think we're going to probably be getting into that 69 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,390 as we continue on with our chat. 70 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:56,270 So maybe we'll just let that sit right where it is 71 00:02:56,270 --> 00:02:56,870 for now. 72 00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,670 And we'll get back into that again, 73 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,220 as we talk about project forgive, 74 00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:01,210 how does that sound? 75 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,280 All right. 76 00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:05,530 So I have to tell you when we read all the 77 00:03:05,530 --> 00:03:07,510 information and we hear your intro, 78 00:03:07,510 --> 00:03:11,560 one word absolutely pops out and that is that word gossip, 79 00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:13,700 right? And gossip kind of, 80 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,800 you think like, 81 00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:17,440 Oh, you know that person who is always the gossiper and 82 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,070 all of that, 83 00:03:18,070 --> 00:03:20,980 and I know you have a real different approach and definition 84 00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:22,510 of what gossip really means. 85 00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:24,150 So can you That all with us, 86 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:24,720 you know, 87 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,090 when I was a master's student cause mass communication, 88 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,800 I worked in media for a long time and worked in 89 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,020 newsrooms. I had a professor say to me, 90 00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:33,900 Sean, have you ever considered the conversation of gossip? 91 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:37,770 There's like a hundred researchers that are very delicately connected into 92 00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:38,550 this topic, 93 00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:39,660 and it's not what you think. 94 00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:40,170 So I went, 95 00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:43,530 did some research and I was so inspired by the topic 96 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,080 that I actually chose it to be my expertise as a 97 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,160 PhD student. 98 00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:48,060 And you're right. 99 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:49,020 When you think gossip, 100 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,250 you think mean and nasty, 101 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,560 but that's not what the research shows at all that mean 102 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,130 nasty stuff is only about five to 7% were actually really 103 00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:59,160 good people and good gossip or word of mouth is the 104 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,960 best way to grow your business. 105 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,520 Especially if you're just starting out, 106 00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:02,790 you know, 107 00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:04,860 in the gift wrapping or you're baking or grafting, 108 00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,090 whatever it is that you're doing, 109 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,660 when people love what you're doing and they start talking about 110 00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:10,710 it in such a powerful, 111 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:11,430 beautiful way, 112 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,350 that's really how your business grows. 113 00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:17,850 So how has gossip different than referrals and getting word of 114 00:04:17,850 --> 00:04:19,470 mouth pass along information? 115 00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:22,740 I call it authenticity because in good gossip, 116 00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:24,570 people become raving fans. 117 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,220 They get so excited by what you're doing. 118 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,210 Like I do a bootcamp. 119 00:04:27,270 --> 00:04:29,310 I very rarely advertise it. 120 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,060 If at all, 121 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,090 I sell out every year because people that go, 122 00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,380 they have such a beautiful, 123 00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,120 authentic heart-centered experience. 124 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,810 They see media so differently and their experience is so exquisite 125 00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:41,220 when they share it with somebody, 126 00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:41,940 they're not just saying, 127 00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:43,230 Oh, you want to learn about media, 128 00:04:43,230 --> 00:04:45,030 go to Sean's media mastery bootcamp. 129 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:45,390 They say, 130 00:04:45,390 --> 00:04:46,080 no. They say, 131 00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:48,060 Oh my goodness, 132 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:49,920 you got to go to bootcamp. 133 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,440 Even if media is not on your purview, 134 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,910 it's a class about fear. 135 00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:55,530 It's not what you expect at all. 136 00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:57,720 You will get so much comfort in your skin. 137 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,040 That discomfort will go away. 138 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,290 You'll be doing things you never thought you'd be doing all 139 00:05:01,290 --> 00:05:01,920 my gosh. 140 00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:03,450 That is a must take class. 141 00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:07,470 Now that good gossip right there with authenticity and passion and 142 00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:11,580 excitement, you build a tribe because it's authentic and it's loving 143 00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:13,500 and they cannot not share about you. 144 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,230 That's very different to me than an actual referral. 145 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,450 So when you're talking about authenticity, 146 00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,250 you're talking about heartfelt, 147 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,490 wanting to really help somebody out and sharing information, 148 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,520 whether it's a story or a resource or something like that, 149 00:05:26,550 --> 00:05:27,630 but truly from the heart, 150 00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:29,790 for the wellbeing of the recipient. 151 00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:30,840 Yeah. It's like, 152 00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:31,980 go see star Wars. 153 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:32,640 Oh my gosh. 154 00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:33,930 I'm not even a star Wars fan. 155 00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:35,820 I loved it. 156 00:05:35,910 --> 00:05:38,000 Like I seen movie one and movie three, 157 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,090 my grandkids love it. 158 00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:40,560 I am not a star Wars fan. 159 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,520 And I saw it. 160 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:42,900 And it's really impactful when I say, 161 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:43,240 you know, 162 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,480 and especially my girlfriends that aren't star Wars fans. 163 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:45,720 I'm like, 164 00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:46,350 go see it. 165 00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:48,990 You're going to be so touched it's so well-written it's well 166 00:05:48,990 --> 00:05:52,520 done. I can see how the genres working that it's heartfelt 167 00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:53,660 would be one piece of it. 168 00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:55,500 It'd just be like straight talk. 169 00:05:55,530 --> 00:05:56,730 Now you're straight talking. 170 00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:58,190 Girlfriend friend says, 171 00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:58,940 Oh my gosh, 172 00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:01,370 you got to buy that laundry soap. 173 00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:03,110 Cause it actually does what it says. 174 00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:03,620 It's going to do. 175 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:05,000 It gets rid of rust stains. 176 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,340 And you believe your friend cause you love and trust them. 177 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:08,560 Of course you do. 178 00:06:08,590 --> 00:06:09,610 You're absolutely right. 179 00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:12,100 And so how does that fear element play a role? 180 00:06:12,550 --> 00:06:16,000 Well, fear stops us from doing everything and it's usually unconscious. 181 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,410 Like we sabotage ourselves, 182 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,110 we get busy doing stuff that we think we're being productive, 183 00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:22,960 but we're not actually making sales calls a lot of times 184 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,830 when I'm coaching, 185 00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:26,410 because I coach a lot on communication and marketing and social 186 00:06:26,410 --> 00:06:27,490 media media. 187 00:06:27,590 --> 00:06:28,270 And there's some, 188 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,550 sometimes my clients are really struggling with cashflow. 189 00:06:30,580 --> 00:06:32,320 They're busy doing marketing, 190 00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,310 which is important. 191 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,180 Don't get me wrong, 192 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,570 but they stay away from the actual sales calls because they 193 00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:38,320 might fail. 194 00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:39,490 You're going to get the nos. 195 00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:40,840 You get lots of nos. 196 00:06:40,990 --> 00:06:41,380 For instance, 197 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:43,180 if you're getting business right now and you have a couple 198 00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:44,650 of rating fans that love you, 199 00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:46,900 a sales call would be calling them up saying, 200 00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:48,190 Hey Jessica, 201 00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:50,950 I know you love what we did for your employees. 202 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:53,950 Do you have a couple of people that you'd be comfortable 203 00:06:53,950 --> 00:06:56,800 introducing me to because you know that they need this kind 204 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,460 of service. 205 00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:58,840 This makes such a difference for me. 206 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,840 If you can share some really good things about what we're 207 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,520 doing and would you be willing to do that? 208 00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:05,530 That takes fricking guts. 209 00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:08,740 That's different than putting a tweet out and try to get 210 00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:09,760 your social media going. 211 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:10,750 Because so many of us, 212 00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:12,190 especially when we're starting our businesses, 213 00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,540 we're trying to do social media. 214 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,680 We're trying to do cash flow. 215 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,930 We're trying to figure out what CRM to buy. 216 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,790 We're trying to figure out what podcasts to listen to you. 217 00:07:18,790 --> 00:07:19,900 We get overwhelmed. 218 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,470 The bottom line comes to facing fear and courage because the 219 00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:24,070 bottom line is, 220 00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:25,360 if you don't have cashflow, 221 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,740 you don't have a business. 222 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:30,310 Absolutely. There's two things that I would reinforce here for our 223 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:33,070 listeners. Number one is the fear you need to get over 224 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:35,650 that fear because you're not going to be able to take 225 00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:38,170 action. You're just going to be stagnant and do like what 226 00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:39,280 Sean is just talking about. 227 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,840 You'll just do things that are easy. 228 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,640 They seem like they're taking a lot of time and you're 229 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,110 doing something for your business, 230 00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:46,540 but you're really not moving your business forward. 231 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,410 The other thing is asking people need to be directed on 232 00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:51,490 what to do next, 233 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,930 as Sean's talking about in terms of testimonials or referring somebody, 234 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,580 people are more than willing to do it. 235 00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:58,600 But most of the time, 236 00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,710 they're not going to offer it up. 237 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,600 You have to ask for it first, 238 00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,150 I'm going to make a broad statement. 239 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:06,430 I would guess that those of you listening, 240 00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:07,510 if you're a gift wrapping, 241 00:08:07,510 --> 00:08:09,250 if you're do crafts or if you're baking, 242 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,990 you're a very creative soul. 243 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:13,570 And a lot of times you're empathic or you feel a 244 00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:16,330 lot of things because you can feel what people like. 245 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,850 So it does hurt your feelings when you get to know, 246 00:08:18,910 --> 00:08:20,830 and it's even scarier to take risks. 247 00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:23,410 And I just want to say that I am terrified a 248 00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:25,990 lot. I had to do something terrifying last week, 249 00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,310 based upon my goals, 250 00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:28,930 I have a client they're called Stardock. 251 00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,070 They're a video game company. 252 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:32,260 They're deeply connected with Microsoft. 253 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,540 Microsoft is on my vision board. 254 00:08:34,690 --> 00:08:37,510 I want to do global training for Microsoft and go in 255 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:38,860 and do communication leadership, 256 00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:39,940 presentation skills, 257 00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:42,940 forgiveness as a business tool in that realm of communication and 258 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:45,070 leadership. And it took some courage. 259 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,090 And I said to Chris, 260 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:46,660 he's my client. 261 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:46,930 I says, 262 00:08:46,930 --> 00:08:48,610 crest, there's something you can do for me. 263 00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:49,000 And he said, 264 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,080 what? I said, 265 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,880 one of my dreams and it's on my vision board is 266 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,260 to work with Microsoft. 267 00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:56,100 I want to be one of their that they love and 268 00:08:56,100 --> 00:09:00,480 adore and let me infiltrate their company to really cause productivity, 269 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,570 excitement, and loyalty within their workforce. 270 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,120 And I know you have a contact in the digital realm 271 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:06,810 of Microsoft. 272 00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:08,820 I'm wondering if you'd feel comfortable to recommend me. 273 00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:09,810 His answer was, 274 00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:10,980 are you kidding me? 275 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,300 Oh my gosh, 276 00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:14,910 send me the email you want send me the material. 277 00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:16,950 I know the person who's so awesome. 278 00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:18,690 He doesn't necessarily hire trainers, 279 00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:20,580 but he would know who to send you to. 280 00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:21,630 And if I recommend you, 281 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:22,470 it's a done deal, 282 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:23,550 something will happen. 283 00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:24,510 I don't know if you'll get a yes, 284 00:09:24,510 --> 00:09:25,710 but I know something will happen. 285 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:30,510 I was scared to ask Chris to do that. 286 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:34,770 I was scared and it's okay to be scared. 287 00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,030 People that do amazing things, 288 00:09:36,030 --> 00:09:37,050 especially creative. 289 00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:38,790 That's why I was so attracted to you. 290 00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:41,610 So is I know you attract really creative, 291 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,350 loving kind people. 292 00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:46,140 This to me is the ultimate in a podcast being with 293 00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,190 loving, gracious, 294 00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:48,000 beautiful people. 295 00:09:48,410 --> 00:09:49,640 Oh, well thank you for that. 296 00:09:49,730 --> 00:09:50,480 I do have to say, 297 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,240 I love the story that you just shared because it's somewhat 298 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,320 comforting to hear someone like you still gets nervous and still 299 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,510 has to reach beyond their comfort zone. 300 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,920 I talk about this all the time. 301 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,530 The magic happens outside your comfort zone, 302 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:06,470 but the fear of stepping out of that zone, 303 00:10:06,530 --> 00:10:09,140 it's so nerve wracking and you just have to prepare as 304 00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:11,570 much as you can and then just do it and look 305 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:12,290 what happened. 306 00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:14,120 How exciting is that for you? 307 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:15,260 And then you have this relief like, 308 00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:15,740 Oh my gosh, 309 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:16,790 I'm so glad I did that. 310 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,590 Absolutely. And you know, 311 00:10:18,590 --> 00:10:21,830 the mantra for me is dancing and being comfortable with being 312 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:27,260 uncomfortable, like actually becoming masterful at allowing yourself to be uncomfortable. 313 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,250 And I call it farting. 314 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,930 That's what it's like. 315 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,280 If you can stand the smart, 316 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,140 I know it's like politically incorrect or whatever, 317 00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:35,060 but I love this analogy because it works. 318 00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:37,490 You're at the mall or whatever someone's farts and you're walking. 319 00:10:37,490 --> 00:10:37,790 You're like, 320 00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:38,780 Oh gosh, 321 00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:39,050 you know, 322 00:10:39,050 --> 00:10:41,330 and after three seconds you walk through the fart and it's 323 00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:42,140 not that deep. 324 00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:45,080 And when you're making an ask or you're being really uncomfortable, 325 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,070 it's like a fart. 326 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,650 And of course some parts last longer than others. 327 00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:49,340 I get it. 328 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:51,590 You know, 329 00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:51,890 you know, 330 00:10:51,890 --> 00:10:54,950 maybe doing that presentation to a corporation to get a larger 331 00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:56,090 account for me, 332 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:58,880 it's media interviewing your four minutes on air and it's four 333 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,800 minutes of farting is what I call it. 334 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:04,160 It's like a fart to stop you from your dreams because 335 00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:04,980 all's, it is, 336 00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:08,300 is a far and getting really comfortable with the smelliness and 337 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:09,350 the messiness of it. 338 00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:10,880 It's not that friggen deed. 339 00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:12,260 Do you remember that? 340 00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:12,650 You guys, 341 00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:15,260 when we're facing something that we are uncomfortable with, 342 00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:16,760 let's just remember Sean's words. 343 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:17,750 It's just like a fart. 344 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:22,340 It works Hearing this repeated. 345 00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:24,530 When I go out to trade shows and such just to 346 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,310 wait and see, 347 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,170 alright, you guys, 348 00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:28,130 so gossip, 349 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,110 gossip is good for your business. 350 00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:31,700 You want it to be authentic. 351 00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:32,780 You want it to be exciting, 352 00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:34,400 just like you're talking to your girlfriend. 353 00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:37,430 That's how you want your clients to be talking about you. 354 00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:40,700 I want to move on Sean now into what I know 355 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,530 is very passionate for you. 356 00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:45,800 And this is the whole project forgive to nonprofit. 357 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:46,820 And I'd love for you to just, 358 00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:47,030 you know, 359 00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:50,360 start and tell our listeners what the base of it is. 360 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,160 And if you're willing to share the story, 361 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,330 because I think it really will let everyone understand how deeply 362 00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:56,860 passionate you are about this project. 363 00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:59,820 Absolutely. The story is, 364 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,380 and we have the little video went viral. 365 00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:02,550 You can see it on our website. 366 00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:04,170 And our new website is about to launch. 367 00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:04,920 It's exciting. 368 00:12:05,130 --> 00:12:06,810 I did a little video of a friend of mine. 369 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,830 His name is Gary, 370 00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:10,800 his wife and his two children were killed by a drunk 371 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,320 driver. My children babysat those children. 372 00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:15,210 Judy was my husband's business coach. 373 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,770 It was a horrible, 374 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:17,490 horrible day. 375 00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:19,710 When we got the news that this family was killed. 376 00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:21,480 And Gary wasn't in the car at the time, 377 00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:22,740 then I get another call. 378 00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:23,640 Later that day, 379 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,190 informing me that the man who killed them, 380 00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:30,210 his name is Tom is also another dear family friend. 381 00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:33,270 Every time I share this on whether it's a podcast or 382 00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:34,500 CNN or whatever, 383 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:37,590 I get goose pimples because I knew in that moment, 384 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,510 both these families were amazing. 385 00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:40,500 No, that, 386 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,220 and that me being at the crux of that intersection of 387 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:47,820 knowing both families and knowing about this conversation of forgiveness, 388 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,530 knew that I had to do something. 389 00:12:49,590 --> 00:12:52,560 I never had any inkling to start a nonprofit, 390 00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:55,380 never had any desire for any of what's happened. 391 00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,570 We're reaching millions in social media. 392 00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:59,220 I'm talking about forgiveness. 393 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,270 Although I do a lot, 394 00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,640 a lot of that in my marketing strategy business, 395 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,470 because I'm all about taking a risk. 396 00:13:04,470 --> 00:13:06,540 And how quickly can you forgive yourself when you screw up? 397 00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:07,050 Because you know, 398 00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:07,950 in that farting realm, 399 00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,020 you're going to make a lot of fricking mistakes you just 400 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,160 are. And the game is, 401 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,600 can you grieve your losses? 402 00:13:12,690 --> 00:13:14,310 So you don't keep making the same mistakes. 403 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,290 Cause I believe we keep making the same mistakes over and 404 00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:17,340 over until we get the lesson, 405 00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:18,570 right? So when it was, 406 00:13:18,570 --> 00:13:20,850 this video goes viral and it's, 407 00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,130 I don't even have words for, 408 00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:22,590 at this point, 409 00:13:22,590 --> 00:13:24,510 we've had Naomi Judd get involved, 410 00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:26,940 Archbishop Desmond choo to endorse us. 411 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,310 Now we're actually making a movie start off as a five 412 00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:29,810 minute trailer. 413 00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:31,230 The movie is going to air this year. 414 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,980 We're actually waiting for some legal stuff that's almost complete. 415 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,780 And I'll be able to share more about the date. 416 00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:39,090 You can go on Facebook and get our updates and see 417 00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:39,780 what's going on there. 418 00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:42,810 The community there is so exquisite and we decided to start 419 00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:46,290 a leadership foundation because we're seeing that with all these corporations 420 00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:47,640 that I personally work with, 421 00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:49,920 conversations of compassion and forgiveness, 422 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,010 integrity, diversity are missing incorporations. 423 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,490 And it's the people that work at corporations that are actually 424 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:01,110 are the corporation and they are explicitly yearning for these leadership 425 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,240 trainings. So that's what we decided to do. 426 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,170 And when the movie comes out, 427 00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:05,850 our goal right now is to make it free. 428 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:07,380 I think we're going to be able to do it. 429 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,860 That's why I'm not announcing and really make it break. 430 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,270 If you're inspired to donate to us, 431 00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:12,870 you can, 432 00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:15,300 everybody in the organization are volunteers. 433 00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,760 And at some point I'm sure we'll be hiring an executive 434 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,290 director to get it moving forward. 435 00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:21,570 Cause I'm so busy and all my good gossip stuff and 436 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,510 love that conversation of forgiveness that I really appreciate you asking 437 00:14:24,510 --> 00:14:26,280 about it because it really is a beautiful, 438 00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:27,510 beautiful conversation. 439 00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:28,980 It certainly is. 440 00:14:29,190 --> 00:14:31,380 Can you talk a little bit more about this? 441 00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:33,810 Like where was the bridge of, 442 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:36,540 alright, this horrible situation happened. 443 00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:38,250 You're here in the middle of all of this, 444 00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,890 which I'm sure very conflicting emotions. 445 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:44,100 How did you make that leap or that decision or where 446 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:47,430 was the light bulb that came on that said the world 447 00:14:47,430 --> 00:14:48,150 needs this. 448 00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:51,680 I'm going to make this into a nonprofit organization or just 449 00:14:51,710 --> 00:14:52,760 to do the video. 450 00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:54,470 Where was that transition? 451 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,190 As soon as I found out that Tom was the one 452 00:14:57,190 --> 00:14:59,440 that killed Judy and Sammy and Alex, 453 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,330 I knew this was going to be a video. 454 00:15:01,330 --> 00:15:02,230 I didn't know it was going to be, 455 00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:03,400 I thought maybe a documentary, 456 00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:05,410 most people that hang out with me or go through my 457 00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:07,360 transmitter, I'm very open about this. 458 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,530 I'm an incest survivor. 459 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:10,720 And I share that very openly. 460 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:10,990 I'm a, 461 00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:11,740 at this point, 462 00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:14,680 man, I'm a 51 year old grandmother now and I've done 463 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,180 a lot of work, 464 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,860 a lot of tears, 465 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,340 a lot of shifting around the conversation of being molested. 466 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,010 And I'm even at the point that this is not endorsing 467 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,090 molestation, believe me. 468 00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,760 And I'm at the point where I can say it's one 469 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,710 of the best things that's ever happened to me being an 470 00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,390 exquisite, compassionate, 471 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,470 loving person. 472 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,170 And sometimes things happen to us. 473 00:15:35,170 --> 00:15:37,300 And I like to say things happen for us for our 474 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:40,270 growth. And I wouldn't trade my past for nothing. 475 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:42,610 What I wish molestation on anyone. 476 00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:43,690 No, of course not. 477 00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:46,000 And what happened to me is what happened to me. 478 00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:48,010 It's my job to embrace it, 479 00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:49,030 grieve it, 480 00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:50,380 be angry about it, 481 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:54,040 except it find solutions and actually become the most exquisite person 482 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:54,880 I can become. 483 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,520 So when I did find out that it was Tom that 484 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,560 killed them and I know Gary so deeply, 485 00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:02,890 I knew this man was going on a horrendous journey and 486 00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:04,690 I knew he would forgive Tom. 487 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:05,710 I knew he would. 488 00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:06,460 I know Gary. 489 00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:11,140 So indelibly that's exactly what happened and knew that was inevitable 490 00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:12,730 for who these families are. 491 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,590 Both families are just amazing, 492 00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,380 beautiful souls who like are in that philosophy. 493 00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:18,610 Although I don't know if they use the words, 494 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,660 Oh, it didn't happen to me. 495 00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:22,030 It happened for me there in that philosophy because you have, 496 00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:22,750 when you meet people, 497 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,600 you can tell when people get mad and blame others and 498 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,490 stay in that very bitter angry place, 499 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,560 there's a genre people that stay there. 500 00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:32,230 And then there's those that are growing and loving and evolving 501 00:16:32,350 --> 00:16:34,810 that look for the lessons and all the things that happen 502 00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:35,440 for us. 503 00:16:35,770 --> 00:16:37,780 And when I heard it was Tom, 504 00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:40,030 I knew something big was about to happen here. 505 00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:42,130 It was an evolution to create the foundation. 506 00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:43,750 And that happened over a series of time. 507 00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:46,180 As soon as we started reaching millions in social media, 508 00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:46,480 I mean, 509 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:47,830 we didn't reach millions right away, 510 00:16:47,830 --> 00:16:50,860 but the social media growth happened quite quickly using gossip. 511 00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:51,970 There is able to do that. 512 00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:53,680 That's why I teach a lot of social media how to 513 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:53,980 do it. 514 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,570 So it was inevitable. 515 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,450 Wow. Two powerful stories for sure. 516 00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:00,700 And I know that there are a lot of people out 517 00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,470 there who are hurting just like that. 518 00:17:02,470 --> 00:17:04,810 And you don't necessarily know when you meet people, 519 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,120 you don't know what their backgrounds are or what they've been 520 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,110 challenged with. 521 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:09,700 And I totally agree with you, 522 00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:10,180 Sean. I mean, 523 00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:13,300 there's people who will just use that as the excuse. 524 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,240 And I don't mean to say it not genuinely or, 525 00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:17,530 or with passion or anything. 526 00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:18,550 Cause I know they're hurting, 527 00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:20,800 but that'll be the excuse not to move forward. 528 00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:22,750 And then there are other people who will take it and 529 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,950 they'll have to deal with it. 530 00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:25,030 And does it make it right? 531 00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:26,530 No, for sure not, 532 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,900 but you still have a whole life to live, 533 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:29,170 you know? 534 00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:31,600 And are you just going to let that then affect the 535 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,610 rest of your time here on earth? 536 00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:34,840 Hopefully not. 537 00:17:34,990 --> 00:17:38,050 Is that the type of thing that project forgive gets into? 538 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:38,950 Well, you know, 539 00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:41,890 it's so funny because there's so many forgiveness organizations in the 540 00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,330 world, there's some beautiful ones, 541 00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,950 project forgiveness out of the UK. 542 00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:49,950 They look at restorative justice and like atrocities like genocide and 543 00:17:50,010 --> 00:17:52,680 people forgiving people for murdering their families. 544 00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:56,520 There are many organizations what project forgive focuses on is we 545 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,610 focus on you and your own personal journey because if you're 546 00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:01,680 in a lot of pain and you lost your job and 547 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:02,790 you got breast cancer, 548 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,880 it's really hard to care about what's going on in Syria. 549 00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:07,290 Okay. Right. 550 00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:08,190 It is. 551 00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:09,270 It's really difficult. 552 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,740 So we focus on that personal professional development growth of you 553 00:18:13,740 --> 00:18:17,970 internally. So you can face your stuff and move forward and 554 00:18:17,970 --> 00:18:21,150 say, because even part of the forgiveness process is being able 555 00:18:21,150 --> 00:18:22,320 to speak your truth. 556 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:22,920 You know, 557 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,600 like if you're mad or you know, 558 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,160 there's so many issues around anger, 559 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,590 that's one of the biggest things we discovered while we're filming 560 00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:30,480 project. We interviewed these little kids, 561 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:30,890 you'll see it, 562 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:31,650 the viral video. 563 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:32,070 And we asked them, 564 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:32,220 you know, 565 00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:33,000 what is forgiveness? 566 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:33,870 And they're so cute. 567 00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:37,290 It's like when you see a bunch of stories or when 568 00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:38,310 you don't hate anyone, 569 00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:39,090 it's so cute. 570 00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:40,590 And then we also asked him, 571 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,700 what about anger? 572 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:42,900 These are all four year olds. 573 00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:45,150 Every single one of them, 574 00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:47,670 there were 24 of them that said anger was bad. 575 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,510 And I thought, 576 00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,130 dang is that interesting? 577 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,700 Because the stages of forgiveness include shock, 578 00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:55,320 anger, grief, 579 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,610 solution, and peace. 580 00:18:56,730 --> 00:19:00,060 And people get stuck in anger because they don't feel it. 581 00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:02,430 And we usually equate anger with violence. 582 00:19:02,490 --> 00:19:02,910 You know, 583 00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:04,380 mothers against drunk drivers. 584 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,570 They got good and mad for a long time. 585 00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:07,560 Look what they caused. 586 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,210 Anger is a very good, 587 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,620 powerful emotion. 588 00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:11,610 It can be misused, 589 00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:12,330 don't get me wrong. 590 00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,760 We need a lot of education around what anger means, 591 00:19:14,790 --> 00:19:15,770 because if you're angry, 592 00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:17,370 you're not feeling it or expressing it. 593 00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:20,370 That's when you eat six Reese's peanut butter cups instead of 594 00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:21,990 sharing what you're upset about. 595 00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:25,440 Or that's when you work 20 hours a day, 596 00:19:25,470 --> 00:19:27,750 because you're so committed to proving yourself. 597 00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:30,570 I'm sure there's many people listening that work way too many 598 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,400 hours. It's a worthiness issue. 599 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,310 And a lot of times what I'm noticing doing this documentary 600 00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:38,820 is it's because we haven't faced and embraced and accepted our 601 00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:42,150 anger. I think anger is such a beautiful expression of, 602 00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:44,400 we just never learned how to appropriately share it or deal 603 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:44,730 with it. 604 00:19:45,590 --> 00:19:47,300 Those are some words for thought, 605 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,370 honestly. And I know for sure, 606 00:19:49,370 --> 00:19:51,500 because I know a lot of our listeners because a lot 607 00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:52,850 of them are customers of, 608 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:53,870 of my business. 609 00:19:53,870 --> 00:19:56,660 And I know that what you're saying is true. 610 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,910 Absolutely. And we're talking here about more deep rooted anger. 611 00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:03,470 What do you think about now? 612 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:03,740 You know, 613 00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:07,610 many of the people listening are business people and they've had 614 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:10,700 issues where I think they've become angry in their business. 615 00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:13,730 Not as deep as the issues now you're talking about, 616 00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:17,810 but let's say an employee stole from them or a customer 617 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:21,140 bashed them on social media or things like that. 618 00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:22,700 That produced a lot of anger. 619 00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:26,120 Are there any suggestions about how to deal with that type 620 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,140 of a situation? 621 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,090 This is a perfect segue. 622 00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:31,370 So cause it's going to take us back to the quote 623 00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:33,200 that we started with at the top of the show, 624 00:20:33,290 --> 00:20:34,640 accepting the apology. 625 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,460 I'll never receive one of the activities that we do in 626 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:40,880 a lot of our leadership trainings is this notion of accepting 627 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,170 the apology you'll never receive. 628 00:20:42,230 --> 00:20:44,300 So that employee that stole from you, 629 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:45,380 chances are pretty good. 630 00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:46,010 They're not going to say, 631 00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:49,270 Oh, I am so sorry. 632 00:20:49,270 --> 00:20:50,410 I stole from you. 633 00:20:50,410 --> 00:20:53,680 I'm I know I betrayed your trust and I'm going to 634 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,960 give you that a hundred thousand dollars back. 635 00:20:56,050 --> 00:20:57,970 I'm going to do whatever it takes to make it up 636 00:20:57,970 --> 00:20:58,390 to you. 637 00:20:58,540 --> 00:20:59,460 And I'm so sorry, 638 00:20:59,470 --> 00:20:59,830 did that, 639 00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:02,350 or the person who bashes you on social media. 640 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,190 Oh Sue. 641 00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:06,340 I'm so sorry that I bashed you and said you were 642 00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:08,020 the B word and social media. 643 00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:09,070 I really didn't meet it. 644 00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:10,330 I was having such a horrible day. 645 00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:11,650 You know how you do stupid stuff. 646 00:21:11,650 --> 00:21:14,230 Sometimes I'm going to go back and retract it and fix 647 00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:14,560 it and blah, 648 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:14,860 blah, blah, 649 00:21:14,890 --> 00:21:15,280 blah, blah. 650 00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:17,890 The odds of those happening are smaller. 651 00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,710 And so the practice for you, 652 00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:21,550 cause this is about you. 653 00:21:21,550 --> 00:21:24,430 Forgiveness is about you getting through anger is about you. 654 00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:27,220 I actually go in my mind's eye when I'm offended. 655 00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:31,120 And I actually pretend that they apologize to me. 656 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,640 So what I can do is go through the process of 657 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,260 accepting the apology you never receive. 658 00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:36,910 Can I give you an example of my neighbor? 659 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,200 Absolutely. Yeah. 660 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,190 So I hear this neighbor and I'm still talking Because I'm, 661 00:21:41,190 --> 00:21:42,110 haven't mastered. 662 00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,720 I'm going to call him Bob it's okay. 663 00:21:47,130 --> 00:21:48,060 Go out to the mailbox. 664 00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:48,840 This is right next door to me. 665 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:53,280 I'll go out to the mailbox and he'll go And I'll 666 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:53,760 look at them. 667 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,250 I can already feel my eyes rolling in the skin, 668 00:21:56,380 --> 00:21:57,510 my skin crawling, 669 00:21:57,510 --> 00:21:58,500 going up my legs. 670 00:21:58,500 --> 00:21:59,070 And I'll say, 671 00:21:59,070 --> 00:21:59,940 I know about, 672 00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:01,170 but it's not morning. 673 00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:02,430 It's 6:00 PM. 674 00:22:02,430 --> 00:22:02,730 You know? 675 00:22:02,730 --> 00:22:04,500 Cause it's at night and he's telling me good morning, 676 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,040 You know, 677 00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:05,940 say, I know, 678 00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:09,300 but you look like you just got up. 679 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:11,070 He does not say that. 680 00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:14,970 And that's just one example of a couple million. 681 00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:16,260 Oh my gosh. 682 00:22:16,530 --> 00:22:17,430 Needless to say, 683 00:22:17,430 --> 00:22:19,290 he's one of those people Because I see him. 684 00:22:19,290 --> 00:22:19,830 I'm just already, 685 00:22:19,890 --> 00:22:21,450 Oh, shoot me in the fricking head. 686 00:22:21,510 --> 00:22:23,190 Okay. So, 687 00:22:23,250 --> 00:22:25,320 but the thing is in this game of what are you 688 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,330 broadcasting? Cause that's my mantra in business. 689 00:22:27,330 --> 00:22:28,230 What are you broadcasting? 690 00:22:28,230 --> 00:22:29,580 What's a signal you give off. 691 00:22:29,580 --> 00:22:31,200 Whether you're posting on social media, 692 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,580 whether you're meeting with a client, 693 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,380 whether you're creating marketing materials, 694 00:22:34,410 --> 00:22:35,940 what's that signal you're giving off. 695 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,920 And even though it's just Bob, 696 00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:38,640 this guy, 697 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,910 his, what he gets from me is that I'm an angry, 698 00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,050 annoyed woman. 699 00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:45,390 That's pretty much how I respond with them. 700 00:22:45,570 --> 00:22:48,000 And that doesn't sit well with me because I'm pretty fun, 701 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,280 loving. I'm pretty straight. 702 00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:51,030 I've got a really snarky sense of humor. 703 00:22:51,090 --> 00:22:52,170 I'm really nice. 704 00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:54,060 And I'm very soft-spoken sometimes. 705 00:22:54,060 --> 00:22:55,140 And I'm very emotional, 706 00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:56,380 angry person is, 707 00:22:56,430 --> 00:22:58,380 is not how most people would describe me. 708 00:22:58,530 --> 00:22:58,980 But with, 709 00:22:59,020 --> 00:22:59,580 with Bob, 710 00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:00,900 I can see how he would see that. 711 00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:01,260 So I'm like, 712 00:23:01,290 --> 00:23:04,470 okay, what can I do so I can shift me. 713 00:23:04,710 --> 00:23:07,260 So I am not this raving be with him. 714 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:07,740 You know, 715 00:23:07,950 --> 00:23:09,360 that's where accept the apology. 716 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,110 You'll never receive. 717 00:23:10,110 --> 00:23:10,680 Came from. 718 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,880 I started practicing. 719 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,170 This has been going on for two years now. 720 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,590 Okay. I started practicing when I saw him that in my 721 00:23:16,590 --> 00:23:18,840 mind's eye that he was apologizing and he was saying, 722 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,260 Sean, I am so socially awkward. 723 00:23:22,980 --> 00:23:24,240 You've got to know by now. 724 00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:24,630 This is like, 725 00:23:24,630 --> 00:23:25,380 if he could apologize, 726 00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:26,010 this is what been saying. 727 00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:29,010 You got to know by now that I grew up in 728 00:23:29,010 --> 00:23:30,750 a very dysfunctional family system, 729 00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:32,130 it wasn't neglected deeply. 730 00:23:32,340 --> 00:23:33,900 And I'm so awkward. 731 00:23:33,900 --> 00:23:35,880 Not only with you with the entire neighborhood, 732 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,560 I'm ostracized by the neighborhood. 733 00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:40,530 And the truth is I really just want people to love 734 00:23:40,530 --> 00:23:43,050 me and I don't know how to do that. 735 00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:44,520 And so I see these weird, 736 00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,130 awkward come out of my mouth. 737 00:23:46,130 --> 00:23:47,150 As soon as I Sam, 738 00:23:47,150 --> 00:23:48,440 I feel so stupid. 739 00:23:48,530 --> 00:23:50,450 And then I wonder why people don't want to connect with 740 00:23:50,450 --> 00:23:52,580 me. And all the truth is I just want to connect 741 00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:53,000 with you. 742 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:55,370 Now. You notice when I say this apology, 743 00:23:55,370 --> 00:23:57,050 because I've done this a lot. 744 00:23:57,050 --> 00:23:58,670 So I soften, 745 00:23:59,060 --> 00:23:59,900 I shift, 746 00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:01,910 I am no longer that angry, 747 00:24:01,910 --> 00:24:03,110 mean judgemental, 748 00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:04,550 annoyed woman with him. 749 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,940 I've shifted who I'm being and there's differences have been made. 750 00:24:07,940 --> 00:24:09,050 Is it perfect with them? 751 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,480 No. Cause I'm never going to change them where I have 752 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,540 power is changing me and shifting me on a dime. 753 00:24:14,570 --> 00:24:15,890 That's where I want my power. 754 00:24:16,010 --> 00:24:18,680 That's why I think forgiveness is a skill and why I 755 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,680 think mother Teresa called it as an act of way of 756 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,970 being. I want to be that notion of forgiving person and 757 00:24:25,970 --> 00:24:27,050 people get weird with that. 758 00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:27,290 They think, 759 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,190 Oh, you're going to be a doormat. 760 00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:29,270 No, that's just bull crap. 761 00:24:29,390 --> 00:24:30,890 No, it's not about being a doormat. 762 00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:33,980 It's about being powerful leadership, 763 00:24:34,010 --> 00:24:36,440 compassion in your own suiting, 764 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,420 who you want to be in the world and not only 765 00:24:38,420 --> 00:24:39,020 who you want to be, 766 00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:40,460 you're actually being it. 767 00:24:40,550 --> 00:24:42,230 And that's the advice I would give to folks. 768 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:44,000 Who've had some really hard things happen. 769 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,020 It's a good place to start. 770 00:24:45,020 --> 00:24:46,520 Of course I would tell you to go to project forgiven 771 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,560 Facebook because we're given all kinds of videos and tips all 772 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:49,190 the time and how, 773 00:24:49,210 --> 00:24:51,290 just how to get through life's crap sometimes. 774 00:24:51,380 --> 00:24:53,720 But it's a great reminder and it's a great reminder in 775 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,660 skillset and a tool to help you in those hard moments 776 00:24:56,660 --> 00:24:57,800 when you just want to kill people. 777 00:24:58,150 --> 00:24:58,930 Yeah. Honestly, 778 00:24:58,930 --> 00:24:59,890 I love your statement. 779 00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:01,960 Forgiveness is about you and you know, 780 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,880 sharing that story about visualization. 781 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:04,060 I mean, 782 00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:06,040 I'm starting to feel sorry for your neighbor, 783 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,470 just by the story that you're telling yourself. 784 00:25:08,710 --> 00:25:09,460 I agree with you. 785 00:25:09,460 --> 00:25:12,910 The only actions that we can really change are our own 786 00:25:12,910 --> 00:25:15,100 actions. And at the end of the day, 787 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,390 when you go home, 788 00:25:16,570 --> 00:25:19,150 you want to be proud of everything that you've done in 789 00:25:19,150 --> 00:25:21,010 the way you've presented yourself to the world, 790 00:25:21,010 --> 00:25:23,860 regardless of how people are responding to you or what they're 791 00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:24,670 doing to you. 792 00:25:24,700 --> 00:25:27,160 So this is a wonderful example of a way to do 793 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,990 that. Whether the story is true or not, 794 00:25:28,990 --> 00:25:29,590 who knows, 795 00:25:29,590 --> 00:25:32,110 but you never know what other stuff people are dealing with. 796 00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:32,410 You know, 797 00:25:32,410 --> 00:25:33,520 who are we to judge someone, 798 00:25:33,550 --> 00:25:34,780 what someone else is doing? 799 00:25:35,380 --> 00:25:37,990 It gives me peace and has me calm down and be 800 00:25:37,990 --> 00:25:38,650 my loving, 801 00:25:38,650 --> 00:25:40,540 confident, powerful leadership. 802 00:25:41,170 --> 00:25:43,180 And then you feel better about yourself because I'm sure if 803 00:25:43,180 --> 00:25:44,350 you were acting snarky, 804 00:25:44,350 --> 00:25:46,600 you wouldn't be real happy with yourself either when you walk 805 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:47,380 back in the house, 806 00:25:47,710 --> 00:25:49,960 Nope. That doesn't work either that or just don't ever go 807 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:50,830 get your mail anymore. 808 00:25:52,750 --> 00:25:53,260 Well, listen, 809 00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:55,510 Ms. Shawn has mentioned the Facebook page. 810 00:25:55,510 --> 00:25:57,610 She's mentioning the documentary. 811 00:25:57,610 --> 00:25:58,900 That's going to be coming out. 812 00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:01,360 I know we can't get any more information on that right 813 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,310 now, but when it is available, 814 00:26:03,370 --> 00:26:05,440 you guys are going to drop everything into the show notes. 815 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,780 So you'll have all the links to project, 816 00:26:07,780 --> 00:26:09,580 forgive Facebook pages, 817 00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:10,570 all these different things, 818 00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:13,600 where you can learn more about what Sean is up to. 819 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,690 And I encourage you guys to go and take a look. 820 00:26:16,690 --> 00:26:19,030 You'll find a wealth of information there. 821 00:26:19,150 --> 00:26:20,710 In preparation for this interview, 822 00:26:20,710 --> 00:26:22,780 went through a lot of the other interviews. 823 00:26:22,780 --> 00:26:25,420 She's done looked at some of the things that she's putting 824 00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:26,770 out. Some of them are free. 825 00:26:26,770 --> 00:26:27,850 There's a really, 826 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,330 really good download that you guys can get about how to 827 00:26:31,330 --> 00:26:34,540 look right in an interview when you're being actually videoed. 828 00:26:34,570 --> 00:26:36,550 So great one for you guys to go grab. 829 00:26:36,550 --> 00:26:39,130 I'll have all those links over on the show notes page 830 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:39,700 for you. 831 00:26:40,030 --> 00:26:40,360 All right, 832 00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:43,350 John, we are ending up now with my favorite part of 833 00:26:43,350 --> 00:26:44,220 the interview. 834 00:26:44,310 --> 00:26:45,150 You've shared so, 835 00:26:45,150 --> 00:26:46,830 so much great information. 836 00:26:46,890 --> 00:26:48,390 This one is for you. 837 00:26:48,810 --> 00:26:50,880 I'd like to present you with a virtual gift. 838 00:26:51,180 --> 00:26:55,650 It's a magical box containing unlimited possibilities for your future. 839 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,820 This is your dream or your goal of almost unreachable Heights 840 00:26:59,820 --> 00:27:01,560 that you would wish to obtain. 841 00:27:01,710 --> 00:27:04,950 Please accept this gift and open it in our presence. 842 00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:07,050 What is inside your virtual box? 843 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,420 You know what it's a word and the word that you 844 00:27:11,420 --> 00:27:12,860 even used in what you were saying. 845 00:27:12,860 --> 00:27:17,660 Cause my word for this year is unlimited and slash limitless. 846 00:27:17,780 --> 00:27:21,170 And what I've discovered is that at this phase of my 847 00:27:21,170 --> 00:27:24,260 life, I can't even focus on what I want because it's 848 00:27:24,260 --> 00:27:24,920 not even, 849 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,170 it doesn't even touch what can actually happen. 850 00:27:27,350 --> 00:27:30,230 So I'm playing the game of limitless and it touches my 851 00:27:30,230 --> 00:27:33,170 heart to say it because I'm so open to whatever the 852 00:27:33,170 --> 00:27:34,220 universe, God, 853 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:35,270 Allah, Buddha, 854 00:27:35,450 --> 00:27:37,010 goddesses, native Americans, 855 00:27:37,010 --> 00:27:40,550 whatever they have to share with me because I'm in dream 856 00:27:40,550 --> 00:27:41,330 come true mode. 857 00:27:41,330 --> 00:27:43,460 And I don't sometimes I don't even think it can get 858 00:27:43,460 --> 00:27:44,720 even better than what it is. 859 00:27:44,750 --> 00:27:45,920 And I want to say pinch me. 860 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,990 So the word limitless is my word. 861 00:27:47,990 --> 00:27:49,580 And that is the gift you're giving me today. 862 00:27:49,910 --> 00:27:53,810 Well, limitless that's fabulous gift biz listeners. 863 00:27:53,810 --> 00:27:57,470 I know that you will join me in wishing Shawn, 864 00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:01,130 all the success with the Nobel peace prize nomination. 865 00:28:01,310 --> 00:28:03,350 And we'll all be watching out for that. 866 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:04,130 And again, 867 00:28:04,130 --> 00:28:06,380 I appreciate all the information that you've shared. 868 00:28:06,410 --> 00:28:08,480 You've given us a couple of different ways to look at 869 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,760 our businesses and to interact with people. 870 00:28:10,790 --> 00:28:12,890 Then I don't think we've shared on the podcast before. 871 00:28:12,890 --> 00:28:13,970 So that's really, 872 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,500 really helpful to us. 873 00:28:15,860 --> 00:28:17,150 Thank you for your time today. 874 00:28:17,180 --> 00:28:19,640 I really enjoyed our chat and Sean, 875 00:28:19,670 --> 00:28:21,770 may your candle always burned bright. 876 00:28:22,190 --> 00:28:22,940 Thank you so much. 877 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,330 Learn how to work smarter while developing and growing your business. 878 00:28:29,540 --> 00:28:33,080 Download our guide called 25 free tools to enhance your business 879 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:33,590 in life. 880 00:28:33,830 --> 00:28:37,550 It's our gift to you and available@giftbizonrap.com 881 00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:38,630 slash tools. 882 00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:40,970 Thanks for listening and be sure to join us for the 883 00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:41,840 next episode. 884 00:28:45,020 --> 00:28:47,960 Today's show is sponsored by the ribbon print company, 885 00:28:48,650 --> 00:28:51,170 looking for a new income source for your gift business. 886 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:55,760 Customization is more popular now than ever grant your product of 887 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,860 your logo or print a happy birthday, 888 00:28:57,860 --> 00:28:58,880 Jessica Griffin, 889 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,280 to add your gift right at checkout, 890 00:29:01,310 --> 00:29:04,220 it's all done right in your shelf or across studio in 891 00:29:04,850 --> 00:29:07,550 seconds. Check out the Regan print company.com 892 00:29:07,550 --> 00:29:12,950 for more information. 893 00:29:12,950 --> 00:29:15,410 Would you like to be on the show or do you 894 00:29:15,410 --> 00:29:19,220 know someone who can provide valuable insight from their experiences? 895 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:20,480 If so, 896 00:29:20,540 --> 00:29:21,710 we'd love to hear from you. 897 00:29:22,070 --> 00:29:25,160 All you need to do is submit a form for consideration. 898 00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:29,240 You can access the form@bizunwrapped.com 899 00:29:29,570 --> 00:29:31,220 forward slash yes, 900 00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:33,710 that's a gift biz on wrapped.com 901 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,010 forward slash G U E S T.