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Have you ever made a decision and then immediately felt the need to ask someone, what do you think?

Or is that okay?

Why do we still look for validation.

When deep down we already know what we want?

Today we're diving into why we seek approval, how it's holding us back, and more importantly, how to break free.

It's time to reclaim your power, practice radical self care, and use affirmations that.

Help you live authentically without waiting for anyone else's permission.

Hey, friend, ever feel like those old fashioned ideas about aging just don't fit you?

If you're ready to own this incredible chapter with grace, style, and a touch of sass, this is your space.

Welcome to the aging with grace and style podcast.

I'm Valerie Hatcher, and I'm here with empowering tips, inspiring stories, and a whole lot of fun just for us women over 50.

So grab your favorite beverage, turn up.

The volume, and let's get started.

Today we're going to explore the roots of why we seek validation, how it.

Keeps us from truly caring for ourselves.

And how to break free from it.

But we're not going to stop there.

We're also going to talk about radical.

Self care and how empowering affirmations can help you sustain that sense of freedom.

This is all about giving yourself the permission to live boldly without waiting for anyone else's approval.

And at the end of this episode.

I'll also share ten affirmations that you can start using right away to reinforce your journey.

So let's start by getting real about why so many of us are still seeking validation, even after years of life experience.

You'd think by now we'd be done.

With needing approvals of others.

But it shows up in sneaky ways, whether it's how we dress decisions about our careers, or even how we talk to our families.

But here's the thing.

Validation often stems from a deeper need, our need to belong.

From a young age, we've been conditioned.

To measure our worth based on how well we play the roles that are assigned to us.

Whether it's as daughters, mothers, or professionals, we're expected to live up to certain standards.

And so we seek validation to reassure ourselves that we're doing things right.

But here's the when you live for.

Validation, you're no longer living for yourself.

You're living for others expectations.

Now think about this.

How much of your life is spent.

Seeking approval for things that you already know the answer to?

I remember when I was thinking about starting this podcast.

I had the idea, I had the passion.

But I kept thinking, what will people think?

Will they even listen?

I kept asking people for advice and validation when I already knew what I wanted to do.

It wasn't until I realized that I was waiting for permission that I took action.

And I bet many of you have had similar moments.

The more we seek validation externally, the less we trust ourselves.

Breaking free from validation isn't just about making bold choices.

It's about healing that inner wound that says I'm not enough as I am.

It's about learning to hear your own.

Voice and trusting it again.

So how do we break free from this?

The first step is recognizing where in.

Your life you're still seeking validation.

I call this the validation detox.

Take one area of your life, whether it's work, your relationships, or even a personal goal.

And this week, make a decision without waiting for someone else's approval.

Breaking free from validation isn't just about.

Letting go of the external approval.

It's about creating space to focus on what you need.

And that brings us to radical self care.

Because once you stop living for others.

You have the freedom to take care.

Of yourself in ways that truly matter.

Radical self care is more than just.

Spa days and treating yourself.

It's about taking back your time and your energy.

And sometimes that means making uncomfortable decisions.

Like saying no to things that don't serve you.

When we've spent years putting others first.

It'S easy to fall into the trap.

Of saying yes to everything.

We've been taught that our value is in our productivity or how much we can give to others.

But radical self care is about flipping that narrative.

It's about understanding that your worth isn't tied to what you can do for others.

It's about who you are.

Let me share a story with you.

I once agreed to help out with a project that I just knew would drain me.

It wasn't aligned with my passion, but I felt obligated.

By the end of it, I was exhausted.

I was frustrated.

And honestly, I was angry at myself for not setting that boundary.

That's when it clicked for me.

Radical self care is about reclaiming the time, space, and energy that I deserve.

Saying no wasn't just about protecting my schedule.

It was about protecting my spirit.

So I started practicing what I call the compassionate no.

It's saying no without feeling guilty or.

Needing to explain myself.

And guess what?

It was so liberating.

I was able to reclaim time and energy that I could then invest in.

Things that actually mattered to me.

Think about where you've been giving yourself away.

Is it at work where you're taking on tasks that aren't yours?

Is it with the family, where you're the go to for everything?

Ask yourself, what am I saying yes to?

That's actually a no from me, deep down.

So here's my challenge to you this week.

Practice the compassionate no.

Identify one thing that you've been saying yes to, just out of obligation, and respectfully decline.

Use that time for something that fills you up instead.

Radical self care is about making sure.

That you're not running on empty.

In real life, you can run on empty, and no one will care.

The more you give, the more they'll take.

Now that we've let go of validation.

And we've reclaimed our time for ourselves.

Through radical self care, then how do.

We reinforce these changes so that they stick?

That's where affirmations come in, but not the typical kind.

Let's talk about affirmations that go deeper.

Ones that truly resonate with the journey that you're on.

Affirmations can be powerful, but they have to feel connected to what we're actually going through.

I don't know about you, but sometimes the generic affirmations, like, I am enough, feel disconnected from my daily reality.

They're nice, but they don't always address the real struggles that we're dealing with.

That's why I believe that affirmations should.

Be personal and specific to your journey.

If you've been working on breaking free from validation, then an affirmation like, I.

Trust myself to make the right decisions.

Is going to resonate more than I am confident.

See the difference?

It speaks to what you're actually working through.

Now, let's go one step further.

Affirmations should also evolve with you.

As you grow and change, your affirmations need to reflect the new challenges and.

Strengths that come into your life.

I call these dynamic affirmations ones that grow alongside you.

Affirmations should speak to the part of you that's been doubting, that's been questioning, or playing small.

Now here's how to go deeper with your affirmations.

One is to acknowledge the struggle.

So be honest with yourself about where you've been struggling, whether it's self worth, boundaries, or fear of judgment.

Then create affirmations that speak to the journey, not just the destination.

So instead of saying, I am confident, try.

I am learning to trust my inner.

Voice every day, then we want to anchor them with actions.

When you say an affirmation, tie it to a daily action that reinforces it.

For example, if your affirmation is I honor my boundaries, then make sure to practice that boundary in a real life situation, whether it's at work, with family, or in your personal life.

One of the most powerful affirmations that.

I've created for myself is I give.

Myself permission to take up space.

For a long time, I been shrinking.

To fit into roles or expectations.

But this affirmation reminds me that I don't need to shrink.

I'm allowed to expand, to be fully seen, and to live authentically.

Your affirmation should feel powerful.

It should resonate in your body when you say it, because it's tied to something real, something you're actively working through.

Here are ten affirmations that you can.

Start using right away.

Now, these affirmations are designed for us women over 50 addressing the real transitions and transformations that we go through.

I'm going to run through them really quickly.

So here we go.

Number one is I trust the wisdom of my experience and embrace the decisions I make.

Second, my worth is not defined by what I give to others, but by who I am.

I give myself permission to prioritize my happiness and well being.

I am learning to say no without guilt and yes to what nourishes me.

I release the need for external validation.

My approval is enough.

My voice is powerful, and I trust myself to speak my truth.

I honor my boundaries because I deserve respect.

I am proud of the woman that I'm becoming and the growth that I continue to make.

I am allowed to take up space and to live fully without shrinking every day.

I choose to live authentically, unapologetically, and boldly.

These affirmations are just the beginning.

Feel free to tweak them to fit your specific needs.

And remember, affirmations are most powerful when they reflect the truth of your journey.

Now here's the deeper challenge for this week.

Create an affirmation that directly addresses something that you've been struggling with.

Don't just repeat it, live it.

Take one step every day that brings.

That affirmation to life.

So let's bring this all together.

Breaking free from validation means reclaiming your power.

Radical self care is about prioritizing yourself.

Unapologetically, and affirmations are the tools that.

Help reinforce this transformation.

Heres your challenge for the week.

Let go of the validation in one area of your life.

Say no to something that drains you, and choose an affirmation that feels true.

To your journey right now.

Then practice that affirmation daily and watch how it begins to shift your mindset.

Until next time, keep shining.

Stay fabulous, and remember, girl, you got this.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

I hope you're feeling inspired and ready.

To own your awesomeness.

I love sharing this space with you, and if you love today's episode, do me a favor.

Share it with a friend who could use some extra inspiration.

A quick rating and review really helps too.

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Until next time, keep shining with grace, style, and a whole lot of sass.