I saw an interview with this guy called David Eagleman, who's.

Who's a US neurologist, I think that's the right word, but a brain scientist, not trying to be too clever.

And he said that this happens a lot with people who are.

Who are facing death.

It happens with these guys who climb these huge mountains without any ropes and then they just about to fall or something like that.

That same thing happens where time.

He described it as.

As we go through life seeing everything through a video lens to suddenly having this beautiful panoramic view and time sort of just slows down and you get time to think it through and it is like a survival mode, basically.

So, yeah, so it's interesting.

My mind was quite rational, but at the same time filled with absolute terror.

So it's a really odd contrast, but I'm glad that I had that sense of sort of thought, you know, and when you.

After the train stopped and you kind of were lying still, were you conscious from that moment on into going to the hospital?

You remember the entire process?

Yeah, totally.

I was very alert actually, throughout the whole process, so I never lost consciousness.

And.

Yeah, you know, I remember when I laid on the track, you know, I just checked to see my wounds, you know, and.

And this thick coat that I was wearing, it's like a sheepskin coat, was totally shredded, especially the left arm.

And.

And I noticed that my left arm had been cut right open.

I could see all the workings with inside.

And again, that was really odd.

I didn't go into shock.

I just kind of like thought.

I remember looking and thinking, wow, that's the inside of my arm.

That's me.

That's how it all works.

I could see every single nerve ending and, and muscle.

It was just, you know, it's remarkable.

But the emergency guys arrived really quick.

They were there like within minutes and they jumped down on the track and they somehow managed to cut through my clothing and get me on a stretcher, you know.

Yeah.

And off the track, which is.

It's a huge drop, obviously, as you all know.

You stand on the train platform edge and you look down, it's a long way down.

But they got me up and they, they raced me down, down the highway to hospital, which was like a sort of like a half hour sort of drive and the siren going wild and we were just going like a rocket, you know.

But the doctor said, can you hang on in there?

I said, yeah, I'll hang on.

You know, he was good.

He kept me going.

He kept me, you know, these guys are Amazing, as we all know.

And.

But he really kept me calm.

And we arrived in the hospital and there was.

There's a whole team waiting for me as we went.

They wheeled me into the emergency department and there was like, surgeons and doctors all waiting there, you know, and I could hear all this mad science going above all these figures, going like, he needs new 45.

No, no, 7:46.

And I was going, well, what's one of those?

You know?

And so I started to get a bit scared because I thought, I'm losing a lot of blood here.

My aunt.

My left arm had been severed, severed from the elbow down.

And, and they sounded scared, so I thought, it's not all over yet, is it?

And my family arrived pretty quick, actually.

They were in the hospital, you know, and they get.

They seem to get there really quick.

And so the, the consultant who was in charge of the whole thing said, look, your family are here.

Can you see any of them or would you like to?

And said, yeah, send them all through, you know.

So they all came in and my mum was in tears, you know, she was just like sobbing away there.

And I just, you know, and my friend Anna was there as well, who, Who I'd seen off.

The one.

That's right, yeah.

Because I was really concerned about her.

And not only that, we, I, we.

We gained a kind of bond.

When you've been through something as huge as that, that person is the main focus that you're.

You're concerned about.

And I said, I need to speak to Anna, you know.

So she came over and she was just stood there going like this head was just going, I can't believe you're alive.

You know, they told me you were dead.

They said you were dead, you know, but, yeah, so it was, it was at that point that I left.

I left all that franticness, I left all the pain that was just completely overwhelming me.

And I suddenly went to a darkened space.

I'd left my body, I'd left everything.

And I was in what seemed like a darkened room, but it was really comforting, it was beautiful.

And.

And I just lay there and, and I just thought, where am I?

And I just kind of looked around me and, and realized that I was no longer on a.

On the hospital sort of trolley.

I was now on.

Lay on a big sort of huge.

It was like a huge rock.

It was like a.

Like a medieval altar, if you like.

And.

And it felt actually really comfortable to, to lay on, which is strange.

You wouldn't think so normally, but everything was different in this realm.

You know, it was kind of the same, but it was a different entity.

But I went with it.

I thought, this is really good.

So I just laid my head back and I realized there was all these pulsating colors that were just slowly pulsating all around me and keeping me calm.

They felt like they were kind of like just kind of saying, it's okay, just calm down.

Because I figured that I was dead.

I thought, this is it.

I thought I didn't make it and I passed on.

I didn't resist it, you know, I didn't try and fight it.

I didn't say, look to myself, I don't want to be here.

I want to go back.

I didn't want to die, don't get me wrong.

But I was.

What I'd just been through was sheer hell.

And it was just great to be in this beautiful calm.

So I just laid my head back.

And as I laid my head back, I saw these beautiful three grids of white light slowly closing in on me.

And in those grids of white light, there was this pure essence of light.

And it was just.

It was like a healing energy that was coming from it.

And I just couldn't take my gaze away.

I just kept looking into this light, and it was just so intense.

And as I lay there, bathed in this kind of like essence of calm, I suddenly felt the presence of somebody near to me.

I thought there was.

Somebody had arrived in this darkened room.

So I lifted my head and there was.

There was a person just stood at my feet, staring at me.

This beautiful, sort of androgynous, neither male nor female being just looking at me and with an expression on his or her face that I felt that I.

I knew really well.

I thought, I know you, don't I?

And I was actually saying it out loud.

I was going, who are you?

I know.

I know who you are.

And he or she just kept smiling back at me.

And I just thought, well, you know.

Did you recognize the face eventually or.

No.

And I know it's.

It's still a face.

That is when I.

Every time I talk about it, I can see it now.

And I.

And I feel that I still know it, but I've never discovered exactly who it is.

You know, it's.

You ever had a sketch artist or somebody try to draw it up for you?

Yeah, I've done that myself.

Yeah.

I started painting after I'd had my near death experience.

It was one of the first things I wanted to do because I was really scared that what had happened to me That I was going to forget.

And I thought, I've got to tell everybody about this.

And I thought the best way to do it, to record it, is to actually paint it.

So.

Yeah, so, yeah, so I painted it as close as I could get.

Go on.

Sorry.

Do you have it there?

Yeah, I've got it.

I can't show it right now, but I can.

Yeah, we, yeah, we do have some.

Of your artwork, but, yeah, we have.

Some of your artwork.

So we'll definitely share that with our listeners.

Brilliant.

That's fantastic.

Hey, you've got this.

And Matt as well, for sure.

I have a question.

I have a lot of questions, actually.

Once you found yourself, I don't know if I can describe it as a new world, but you're surrounded by and being taken care of by this, what you described as a sense of infinite love, but you still had active thoughts and questions about your situation.

Like you were still aware of yourself as a being.

Right?

That's right.

Just how did, how did you reason with yourself or even justify what was taking place in those moments?

Well, the interesting thing is that I didn't really have to.

It was me that was there.

It was totally me.

And I was aware that it was me.

I mean, I remember looking down at my body to check my wounds and everything was fixed.

You know, my arm was back in place.

There wasn't even a single scratch or bruise.

But it was definitely my body.

It was definitely me.

Nothing had changed.

And.

But I, I'd lost all sense of concern about the past.

I used to worry about the past, and I was, I wasn't worried about the future.

I was just in the moment.

I was just in the here and now.

And there was no sense of anxiety or fear or worry or any of those feelings or thoughts that, that we all carry around.

It's almost like thought had just gone away from me.

And it was just the pure essence of me that was there.

So I was just happy to be there and just to see what was, what was evolving all around me, because it just felt so real.

And I just felt the best I'd ever felt throughout my whole life, my life before.

This was a struggle, you know, like, like a lot of us, you know, I, I, you know, I had my damn periods, you know, I, I was, I'd left school without qualifications, so I was struggling to find work throughout my whole life.

And I was always trying to fit in with the kind of crowds that weren't right for me.

And so I felt like there was a lot of doors closing in my face.

And I.

So I carried a lot of shame and a lot of feelings of.

Of lack of confidence.

And I could, like, I couldn't achieve in anywhere in world, but suddenly all that had gone.

Suddenly it was just me feeling great about myself.

So.

So I didn't kind of need to question it.

If you, like, did you.

Were you aware of the transition from that kind of experience to back to where you're in the hospital bed with your family?

Yeah.

How did that go?

Yeah, well, that came later on.

I mean, there were different phases of.

Of.

Of the.

The experience.

I was saying that I kept moving on from one.

One phase to another.

Right.

And.

But when I did come back, it was.

Yeah, it was kind of like there was.

There was no sort of.

I was back in my body really quick, you know, it was just like the transition was just as quick as I'd gone there.

And it wasn't a decision that I'd made myself personally, but it was made for me, though I didn't regret it.

You know, I.

I mean, obviously when I came back, the.

The overkill of sand and light, like the.

All of a sudden from that beautiful bright light I was looking at before, now it's fluorescent strip, which looked really horrible.

And.

And then the noise was just overkill, and I just.

Pain came rushing straight through my body again.

But you know what?

I was just filled with all this incredible joy and love from what I'd received on the other side that I was just so charged with it.

And I thought, wow, that was amazing.

I can't wait to find out why they sent me back and what is my quest.

So straight away I thought, they've sent me back for a reason.

Wow.

Wow.