E064: Why You NEED To Focus On Self-Love This Valentine's Day If You're Healing From A Narcissistic Relationship With Angela Slade

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Speaker 6: [00:00:00] In this episode, you will discover why you need to focus on self love this Valentine's day. If you are healing from a narcissistic relationship.

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Speaker: Welcome to Heartbreak to Wholeness, the podcast helping you heal from the mindfuck of narcissistic relationships and move towards the secure, peaceful woman you want to become. I am your host, Bre Wolta, Relationship Clarity Coach and EFT Certified Practitioner. Let's dive in.

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Speaker 7: Welcome back to Heartbreak to Wholeness. In this episode, you will discover what loving yourself really means, exactly what to do this Valentine's day to feel better. If you are smack dab in the middle of a heartbreak and how to not feel consumed by loneliness, when you feel lonely, Loving yourself can be this totally nebulous thing that can feel really far away, especially when you're moving through heartbreak.

And in this episode, I have a very powerful conversation with a therapist, mentor, and thought leader [00:01:00] named Angela Slade that will take the confusion out of self love for you and show you exactly how to get there. I know for me, when people used to say, just love yourself, I was like, what the fuck does that actually mean?

So today you're going to figure out what the fuck that actually means.

And remember to stick around to the end of the episode where I will pull an oracle card that will offer you a message that you can use this week to stay anchored in your healing.

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Bre Wolta: welcome to the podcast, Angela. I'm so happy to have you.

Angela Slade: you, Bre. I'm happy to be here today.

Bre Wolta: We are having a juicy conversation about love and self love specifically as we are nearing Valentine's Day. And for the listener who is in the middle of heartbreak or just come out of a really tumultuous relationship and is spending that day alone for the first time maybe in years, this is the episode for you.

Thank you for being here.

Angela Slade: I am so happy to be here. [00:02:00] And yeah, I think that any woman that is going through that transition in their life is probably not feeling the love

Bre Wolta (2): yes.

Angela Slade: I would say from the women that I've worked with, a lot of grief and a lot of loneliness and big emotions would be showing up right now.

Yeah.

Bre Wolta: big emotions is a great way to put it and it's hard to Find the love for ourself beneath the layers of the big emotions Because that is taking up most of the space the grief or the trying to make sense of I know a lot of my listeners are in that sort of Dumbfounded place of how could he have done what he did?

Why did he do what he did and are very preoccupied in the betrayal and how, how all of that could have unfolded, how they didn't see it. And so, it tends to be a lot of self judgment and a lot of self criticism [00:03:00] that we come, come to on the other end. So, I want this episode to be focused around that self love and, and really what that means because We, when we're healing, it can be hard to access that place.

Angela Slade: I think I hear you saying, you know, I call it the inner mean girl.

Bre Wolta (2): Yeah. Yes,

Angela Slade: That girl that just wants to go at you and go at you and go at you and turn over absolutely everything which, yeah, it does occupy a lot of your time.

Bre Wolta: yes. Yeah. And I know for me, when I was healing from my toxic relationship and people were like, well, you just have to love yourself. I didn't, I didn't know what that meant. And it was like my, almost my default, um, reaction was like, well, I do love myself. Like, of course I love myself, but I didn't actually know what that meant.

I didn't know what that looked like. I didn't know how to practice that. It was. It [00:04:00] was just an answer that I thought I should have. I thought I should be able to love myself. So I'm like, of course I do. How would you define loving yourself? Or what does that, what does that mean to

Angela Slade: Well, I can understand why that's so complicated. I think even with the demographic of women that I work with, I get that question a lot. Well, we know, we know the name, we know, we know the words, but what exactly does that mean? And when we look to society or we look to social media, sometimes that looks like, well, spa days or, Going on a trip or, um, you know, doing things for ourselves in the external world.

That's going to probably temporarily relieve some of those heavy emotions that women are experiencing when they come out of these relationships. So not necessarily a bad thing, but you know the true definition of self love for me Uh, when I'm working with women is really getting them to turn [00:05:00] inwards and to start remembering who they are for their own inherent worth.

And so when something like this type of a relationship has happened and wreaked so much havoc on the mental world, the emotional world, and sometimes even on our physical bodies, you know, it's it's time to turn towards that part of ourselves and slow ourselves down. That would be the first thing that I would say.

Self love is about slowing yourself down enough so that you can regulate those emotions that are really, and get some clarity in your mind and also maybe start even connecting in to your body. It's a lot of curiosity, right? Like who am I? Yeah.

Bre Wolta: We, and we gotta slow down to be able to be curious or else we're just so busy. We're busying ourselves with distraction or whatever that looks [00:06:00] like, whether that's work, or zoning out with Netflix, or scheduling our calendar too crazy so that we never have to be by ourselves to actually get to know the person that we are. When you say giving yourself time, the first thing that I thought of, I was like, these women, women listening are so good at loving other people. They're so good at getting to know other people, getting to know what other people need, giving other people the time and the priority. And so when you said that, I was like, it's the reverse.

It's putting, it's, it's putting the energy that you would into someone else. into yourself an equal amount.

Angela Slade: Absolutely. And being able to form that healthy attachment and that healthy relationship with self, yeah.

Bre Wolta: Yes. How do you, how do you work with women in helping them do that for the first time? Like spending the night [00:07:00] alone by themself or going out to dinner by themself or not filling an entire Saturday. But how do you, how do you work with the resistance that comes up with women where they're just, they think they don't have the time, they don't have the resources, the energy to be able to step away from something.

Um, Like, what do you, what would you say to

Angela Slade: Well, I think the first thing that I would do is, like, normalize that for them. Normalize that they're not alone in that, and that many, many women that are coming through these relationships feel exactly the same way. And then to start getting them curious about, well, what is some of, where is some of that messaging coming from that keeps you so busy, that keeps you unable to slow down?

And so inserting that curiosity again, so that the mind starts to gain some new clarity. [00:08:00] Yeah.

Bre Wolta: busyness just in the same way that we're addicted to drugs and alcohol or whatever we are that we're overusing and not able to stop. And sometimes when we've practiced those neural pathways for so long, the busyness, the tending to others, the people pleasing, whatever it is that we're trying to reverse, it's, it's It's hard, it's tough work, it's tough work to understand first what's happening and then have the energy to shift that because that is mental, mental work, emotional work, it's, it's so much, it takes so much of us to commit to change, but it's so worth it once we can start grooving those new people.

Neural pathways.

Angela Slade: and that's, you know, one thing that I help women understand is that our brains are kind of like well worn paths. And so when we've been doing the same thing over and over again for so long, it's kind of like walking down a forest trail [00:09:00] and you take the same trail every single day, but then all of a sudden you're inserted into a new life and you're asked to carve a new path.

And so to carve that new path in the forest is, you know, it's difficult and you run into roadblocks and barriers and you get ticked off and you want to just get on the same old, well worn path because it's just so easy to do. And so rewiring that neurochemistry is a lot like carving out that new path.

And to have that understanding that it's going to be hard and it's going to be And that part of self love too is it's messy and it's hard. It's not all this, you know, easy, fuzzy, loving kind of stuff. It's the hard work.

Bre Wolta: Yeah. You're in there with your machete and you're trying to like chop down the grass and the trees and there's monkeys flying at you.

Angela Slade: And you're probably swearing and you're probably angry. [00:10:00] Yeah,

Bre Wolta: get to wherever you're going. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And having some compassion for yourself and almost the expectation that it will be challenging because just like anything, you're learning something new. And in the beginning of learning, you're not an expert yet.

And it takes a lot more concentration. It takes a lot more of like, um, I hate to say even messing up because we're never actually messing up, but where we go down the familiar path and then we have to catch ourselves and then we have to course correct. So you're just a novice. You're just new at

Angela Slade (3): absolutely.

Bre Wolta: And I think If we can set ourselves up for that expectation, then we expect that it's going to be a little wobbly, almost sort of like Bambi learning to stand up on, on its legs. You know, it's like, it's not perfect. And he's not up and running. The next day, giving yourself that permission to let it be messy and to meet yourself with [00:11:00] compassion of, this is really hard to learn a new thing.

I really want to go back to the old thing. And I'm committed to the new thing, right? It's like even just validating that for yourself can be so tremendously

Angela Slade: Yes, and as well as when the big emotions do come up is the ability to understand that all emotions are good and that if you can recognize and name those emotions, you actually start to tame those emotions in your brain as well. And so to have that compassion for yourself to be able to process those difficult emotions, because I know we all want to get to this high frequency, loving vibration or joy or peace that we're seeking, you know, in life.

But that process of like, all emotions are good. All emotions are allowed. Can we allow the body to be flexible with those things? Because sometimes we just get stuck in those negative patterns,

Bre Wolta: well, we're so [00:12:00] conditioned to, to believe that emotions that don't feel good are bad, right? Anger is bad. Sadness is bad. Uh, feeling betrayed. Feeling confused is bad and happiness is good. Peace is good. Loving is good. And we're, whenever we feel something bad, quote unquote, we are so quick to judge ourselves of, Oh my God, I'm feeling this bad thing.

I need to get back to feeling good. And letting yourself just be in the emotion is the way that you move through the emotion, because it's just energy in motion, right? It's just an experience that we're having in our body. The higher vibrational emotions feel better to feel. It lifts us up, the happiness, the peace, the energy.

The lower vibration emotions feel more dense in our body. We're sad, we're sluggish, we're lethargic. And if we can take out the dichotomy there of good and bad and just say, I'm feeling this today or I'm feeling this right now, I'm going to let myself be [00:13:00] curious with it. I'm going to regulate my, my nervous system while I'm moving through this emotion, then we will move through the emotion. It's when we try to resist it, that that thing just keeps simmering in the back burner. And we're trying to do our 40 million things while this thing is boiling over on the back burner. And we're going to have to feel it eventually, in some way, it's going to come out sideways most likely, which is not, not what we're aiming for.

Angela Slade: No, and I feel a lot of listeners, um, would not understand that it's also okay to be angry and to move anger. Cause I think that's one emotion that is really suppressed for women and they don't get permission to move it in those ways. I think that that's how we deal with it. You know, women can get into those subservient roles or those submissive roles, or be afraid to speak up or set boundaries because they're busy packing that in.

So I also [00:14:00] want to say that's an exciting emotion if it comes up, even though You know, a little bit nerve wracking for women to know how to move that safely. I know even getting, my clients to slam a pillow on the bed as hard as they can, can sometimes be a little bit like, what you want me to do? What

Bre Wolta (2): Yeah.

Angela Slade: it's kind of like, yeah, if you're willing to consider that.

Go and try. What does it mean to move that energy in your body? Like, is your mindset different? Do you get a different clarity from that? Is it liberating? Does it bring in expansive emotions, you know, like calm or peace or even maybe some joy?

Bre Wolta: Yeah. Cause when we are expressing the emotion, it's not stuck. And so it's so important to learn the tools around how to do that. And I can just almost hear the listener be like, yeah, well, I feel moments of anger. But then it wasn't all [00:15:00] bad or he wasn't totally, you know, a terrible person. He wasn't a monster.

We had some good times. And there immediately comes in this justification of why they shouldn't feel angry. Instead of hearing from Angela and I right now that it's okay to feel angry about the parts of the relationship that angered you.

Angela Slade: absolutely.

Bre Wolta: Without having to put a full blanket statement on the whole relationship, without having to label him as a villain or a monster or otherwise, it's like this thing that happened pissed me off.

And I'm going to feel angry about this thing.

Angela Slade: because that's where you get new awareness, and new curiosities. It's like, go and move the emotions. See what happens. What does it open up?.

Bre Wolta: Yeah. And by the way, we're not talking about expressing anger and going and yelling at your ex

Angela Slade (3): Nope.

Bre Wolta: going and yelling at your partner. This is an expression of the emotion for yourself [00:16:00] that can look a lot of different ways. One being like yelling into a pillow or banging a pillow onto your bed or punching a pillow, um, tensing up your whole body while you're thinking about something angry and then releasing.

There can be, there can be different ways that

Angela Slade: Write it out. You know, you can write it all out. And even more so if you want to get underneath anger and maybe even get into some grief and sadness, I encourage you to sit with that letter and then read it back and see what other emotions come up. Is there new ones? You are you able to move some grief that way?

Bre Wolta: There's always something else underneath, right? It's, and that comes back to the curiosity and the compassion, because we can't, we can't explore further within ourselves if we're not meeting that with compassion. We have to, we have to be willing to say, I'm here, I experienced this, this is valid, and this is hard to look at, but I'm going to look at it.[00:17:00]

Instead of, I can't believe I stayed for so long, and I can't believe that I'm now single, and now I have to deal with all this shit, right? It's just like, they're totally different energies. is in compassion, and one is in judgment.

Angela Slade: and I would say that it being curious about when you're thinking those thoughts, what other emotions are being stirred up. So if that voice isn't compassionate or it isn't self loving, do you notice that the emotions stay stirred up or that they stay stuck or that it's difficult to move through and process those emotions?

I know for a lot of women, it's really hard to be self compassionate. Like you say, it's okay for us to give it out freely but when we have to turn towards ourselves, it's such a foreign thing. Like what? You want me to be kind to myself? Oh my gosh. So again, I say, can you be curious?

And even, I would say courageous because these are courageous acts to, um, to do this work [00:18:00] because. Women are so used to putting it out into the world, right? So can I have a loving statement to shift this and what happens in my body when I do shift that statement? Is it foreign? Do I believe it? You know, do I notice myself rejecting it?

Where do I feel that in my body?

Bre Wolta: Courage is such a beautiful word and so important because doing this work at any point in your life is courageous, and especially when you're coming off of a heartbreak from a narcissist or from another manipulative type of person, right? Where your confidence has been chipped away, where your sense of self is gone, where you are starting to gaslight yourself.

It is, it is, it takes even more courage to, to want to look at this stuff and unpack it and find the answers and find the clarity. So for that person who's going through the heartbreak right now, we're talking about finding self love through giving yourself the time [00:19:00] that you would give someone else, through showing up with compassion, showing up with curiosity.

What could that look like for somebody who is home alone, on their couch, watching Netflix, not really wanting to make plans with other people, kind of in this place where there's sadness and grief, but they're, they want to love themselves. They want to do something that's loving towards themselves. What could that look like for, for the listener?

Angela Slade: I would say first and foremost is, Give yourself that time and space. So if you are home and home alone, can you get into a mindset where you can celebrate that? Because after you've come out of such a heartbreak, the body actually needs a lot of time to restore and repair as well. And so in that downtime, I always encourage creativity

So, you know, being Valentine's Day, one of the things I thought about today to bring to your show was [00:20:00] to do a collage. Like, could you set up the environment to create this ritual for yourself to do a collage so you could go get a bunch of magazines from the thrift store or, you know, one of the stores and just sit with this word, self love, you know, what does it mean to me?

And could you be creative and just go through some of those magazines and start, whether they're words or they're rituals, you know? and create this masterpiece on Valentine's Day that you would be able to look at that would maybe give you some, uh, motivation or some inspiration or something to look towards while you're being curious to say, Hey, like maybe that is a part of me or Hey, those words do resonate with me.

You know, maybe the word's joy and it's like, how can I bring more joy into my [00:21:00] life?

Bre Wolta: I love that. I love that. Asking yourself what, like, what does, what does it feel like to

Angela Slade (3): Yes.

Bre Wolta: Starting with, and sometimes our best, um, example of that is love with someone else. So, it's like, how do I feel when I'm in love? I feel joyful, okay? I feel connected. I feel excited. And taking those words, the joyful, connected, excited, and thinking, how can I bring more of that into my time with myself?

Does going for a walk in nature make me feel connected? Cool. I'm going to do that. Does getting coffee with a friend make me feel connected? Great. I'm going to do that. What makes me feel joyful? Is it baking brownies? Is it calling my mother? Is it, you know, whatever, whatever actual behavior it is too, that you can do.

And the behaviors are reflected in the collage. I'm imagining like a picture of walking in nature or, [00:22:00] or taking a bubble bath or whatever it is, and then gifting yourself. The time to do those things.

Angela Slade: Because it would create this space where you would have to slow down and then to start thinking about all of those things. You know, we can talk about joy, we can talk about peace, we can talk about all of these things that we want, but it's like, well, what does it actually mean for me? And I know a great question that I, even on my own journey, used to always ask myself is, what is the most loving thing that I can do right now?

And sometimes the answer is, I can go pee in between my clients so my bladder doesn't have to suffer. Like that's the definition of love. Sometimes we're thinking about these great big huge things and that it has to feel a certain way in our body, but it was actually just, you know, giving my bladder a break.

So for people that might be stuck, Even thinking about this whole concept of self love, that's [00:23:00] something else that they can think about is , even in this moment, what is the most loving thing that I can do for myself? You know, and maybe if the collage isn't your thing, it could be in that loneliness.

It could be just like, it could be making a cup of tea and sitting and just being .

Bre Wolta: Yes. Also coming at that from the reversed way of like, what am I depriving myself of? Sometimes it's much easier, easier for us to identify the thing that we want to have, that we're like, oh, not that peeing is the best example for, for coming at it this way, but like, I really want to not feel like my bladder is going to explode during my clients, but I don't have time.

Right, so we're depriving ourselves of that extra 30 seconds it takes to go pee and come back. Or they really want to stop and , read a book. But again, they're depriving themselves of that experience because I have work to do, I gotta tend to the kids, whatever it is. I can't make time for that, so I'm [00:24:00] depriving myself of the time.

So in that case, the act of self love would be finding the time, or making the time.

.

Bre Wolta: To do that.

Angela Slade (3): Yes.

Bre Wolta: phase with yourself of what do I like?

What do I not like? And really being able to articulate those things, the wants, the needs, the values, and then starting to act on those things with the behaviors that align. And having the behavior examples I've found for myself and for my clients is so helpful because when we're in the sort of dysregulated state where they, where we want to do something that brings us back into love, it's hard to remember that the walk in nature makes me feel connected, so I'm gonna go do that.

But if I just know that I [00:25:00] have my list of things that I can do when I feel a little off, if walking in nature is one of them, then I trust that I wrote that down for a reason and I'm gonna try it.

Angela Slade: Absolutely.

Bre Wolta: What about loneliness? We've talked about anger. We've talked about coming back and being with yourself and trying to bring in more love into yourself and into your life.

Angela Slade (2): Absolutely.

Bre Wolta: What would you say for women who are just like in the loneliness right now and just can't really see a reality in which they would have a partner or they'd be able to find a partner who isn't manipulative or who isn't, , riddled with red flags.

What would you say to them?

Angela Slade: Well, this might be a different take on loneliness because there's a difference between being And feeling lonely and I would say sometimes when we've come out of these big transitions and these heartbreaking relationships is that loneliness can be [00:26:00] the word that we attach to our bodies in a state of calm.

And, you know, needing that regulation. And so a lot of times that language shows up, the loneliness and the boredom, because Most people have been in such a high extreme survival state during this entire abusive process, right? And so I would invite in loneliness in and be curious about what that means, you know, in terms of that slowing down and that regulation.

And is that possible to be in that space? Because again, like that well worn path versus that new carved path, right? Is, do you have the ability to sit in that space? And to ask yourself the question, am I completely alone? You know, because do I have that ability to connect in with a friend, or a safe person, or a therapist, or a [00:27:00] coach, or whatever the case may be.

When our bodies are starting to come back into that state of regulation, that is peace, because that is so foreign, want to go for the well worn path. It's like, I need to be way up here.

Bre Wolta: Yeah. And, and often when one of those grooves that are really well paved is the tending to another person. So when there's not another person there, we almost like don't know what to do with our energy until we learn how to tend to ourself and restart redirecting that energy back to us. But it can feel a little foreign, a little jarring, a little dysregulating and well, I don't know how to sit still.

I don't ever sit still. I don't, I don't feel comfortable sitting still. And we just tag on loneliness to that because it's almost like we don't have another word for it.

Angela Slade: And it needs that amplification in the body. [00:28:00] So, I say even if it's 30 seconds. Because you're right, for a lot of women, any amount of stillness is scary. And so, can you sit with that for 30 seconds? What does that feel like? Yeah. Yeah.

Bre Wolta: And I love your point about asking yourself if I'm really alone because off, I mean, nine times out of 10, we have a friend, we have a family member that we feel safe with. We have a therapist, we have a coach, somebody that we can reach out to that we can find connection with. And it's okay to long for a romantic connection.

I think sometimes my clients get caught up when they're like, well, I'm in this healing journey. I know I need to love myself, but there's still a part of me that really wants to be with a man, like that wants to be in a relationship. And they almost get angry with themselves that they're having that thought because they think that being independent and healing means that I shouldn't [00:29:00] want that.

I shouldn't need it. I shouldn't want it. And so really sitting with that, that belief, of like, why does it have to be either or, and is there a world in which you can have an interdependent relationship and interdependent life where you maintain your individuality and your your independence, and you can be in connection with somebody else and we're wired for connection.

It's totally natural to want, especially a partner that you can share your life with. That's, that's a normal thing. But when we need that in order to be okay, that's where we want to start getting curious about unpacking some of that.

Angela Slade: Well, and I would say that's an absolute healthy thought to have and want a partner back in your life. the key to all of this is the more you're willing to engage in this relationship with yourself and remember who you are and truly know who you are on and [00:30:00] Authentically, that that kick ass partner is going to come into your life because that vibration is going to raise, you're going to see things in a new, in a new way.

You're going to accept. you know, and not accept things that maybe you accepted before. And all of this beautiful magic starts to happen when you do go inward. So yeah, I even say you could throw that on your, you know, you can throw that on your vision board eventually, but give yourself this time right now and embrace it as a time that can be, it can be exciting.

It can be very, very expanding.

Bre Wolta: I tell my clients that the time spent on your own is not time wasted. It's time spent building the foundation that will A, let you live a tremendously beautiful life with yourself and or B, help you live a tremendously beautiful life with somebody else and help you maintain yourself [00:31:00] within that other dynamic.

So that we're not emeshing and getting all codependent and going back into the behaviors that we've been in. The more you practice being who you are, aligning yourself with your values, aligning yourself with your self love, making space for yourself, the more that you're going to continue to do those things when you're in relationship with another person, which maintains your health and it maintains the health of the relationship. So this is a beautiful, fertile ground for you listening right now, who's in that heartbreak, lonely, alone place, to almost flip the definition of the time that you're in to being one that's setting you up for the thing that you want later on. in a much more healthful way versus I hate that I'm here. I hate that I'm back at square one.

Angela Slade: Yeah, yeah, flip the script, right?

Bre Wolta: Flip the script and then work with your therapist, [00:32:00] your coach on all of the yeah buts that come up when you try to flip the script, because that's why we're here.

Angela Slade (3): That's right. Yeah.

Bre Wolta: Any any last messages, Angela, for for the women listening who's who's trying to figure out how to do Valentine's Day and love themselves?

Angela Slade: That you're worth it.

Bre Wolta (2): Yeah.

Angela Slade: percent worth it.

Bre Wolta: Believe that about you is also really helpful of finding the, the friend or the family member that's like, you're badass, I love being with you and spending time with them.

Angela Slade: Community is important. So find those people that you can surround yourself with that continually remind you of that, who we surround ourselves with is important because they're constantly mirroring back the energy that we want to create more of as well. So it's worth it.

Bre Wolta: So good. To end these episodes, I, uh, pull an oracle card. Are you familiar with oracle

Angela Slade: am. Yes, I have. An oracle card spread on [00:33:00] my website, actually, that's called Stepping Into Your Authentic Self. So, maybe something else for your listeners to go check out.

Bre Wolta: Yeah. Yes. Oh, I love that. So I'll have you help me pick one. Um, so go ahead and close your eyes for me. Okay. And we're just going to tune into the deck, tune into the energy of the listeners.

Angela Slade (2): That's the

Bre Wolta: feel like the shuffle's complete, you let me know when to stop.

Oh, one just popped out. That's it! I love when they just fly out on your face. We got Touch Your Stuff, and it's a picture of a hand that looks like it's touching a button that's, like, radiating outward.

Angela Slade (2): [00:34:00] Great. Great.

Bre Wolta: It's okay to check in. This is your safe space. Here surrounded by the ones that you love. You have traveled far and need to feel your home base. That place of belonging. Call a friend. Look at old pictures. Clean the house. Reminisce. Find yourself here. Touch what you love. Touch your stuff. How perfect is that?

Angela Slade: We do not make this stuff up.

Bre Wolta: We do not. And it flew out very clearly

Angela Slade: There you go. Remember who you are.

Bre Wolta: Yeah. Touch back into your, your home and your belonging. That

Angela Slade: right here, right in your heart

Bre Wolta (2): Yeah.

Angela Slade: Day.

Bre Wolta: Perfect. Angela, [00:35:00] where can women find you if they want to connect and see what you've got

Angela Slade: Yeah, they can find me on my website at www. angelaslade. com and all my social media is there and my YouTube channel and they can check out my podcast as well and there's some free downloads on there including the oracle spread, so maybe some of your listeners will be curious about that.

Bre Wolta: Oh yeah. We love, we love the spirituality,

Angela Slade (3): The woo woo!

Bre Wolta: Yeah, any way that we can find meaning, I think, is tremendously impactful, whether that's through cards or nature or some other way that you connect with your higher power, it's, It's all welcome

Angela Slade: definitely how we replenish our soul,

Angela Slade (2): much,

Bre Wolta: to more people than we probably will ever know who tune in and listen to this podcast.

So I appreciate your time and your energy and your expertise and just everything that you're bringing to the world.

Angela Slade: I appreciate being here.

[00:36:00]

Speaker 8: As we come into Valentine's Day this year, I want you to keep this episode close. I want you to revisit it, re listen to it, get inspired by it, set yourself those reminders because now you know exactly what to do. You know exactly what to do this Valentine's Day to feel better if you are in the middle of going through the shit of a heartbreak.

And you know now how to not feel totally consumed by loneliness and hopelessness when it hits. So use these tools. Come back, revisit, and remind yourself how powerful and how strong you are to move through this season of feelings and grief and whatever you might be in right now.

Valentine's Day is so commercialized as needing to have a partner, but you know now from this episode that loving yourself is the most important. Thank you so Energy you'll put towards a [00:37:00] relationship? Ever. Because that will set a foundation for you to be able to love someone else in the future from that whole and authentic and very real place, which I know you are just craving to do at some point in your life.

To not show up having to wear the masks or walking on eggshells, but to really know yourself and to be able to be yourself with another person. And if you enjoyed this episode, I want you to go back to episode 63. It's called The Truth About Healing from the Narcissistic Mindfuck. Why it can feel hard to love yourself again.

And that's my story. So that is a re released story from the very beginning of the re The relationship, the podcast where I share in depth about my journey and why I'm here. What did it look like for me to move through my toxic relationship, to find healing from something that made no sense, that was incomprehensible and how I found that love for myself again.

So I think you'll really [00:38:00] enjoy that if you are on this kick of learning, learning how to love yourself and, and trying to metabolize what that actually means. As always, this podcast is for you. You are not alone, and I'll see you in the next episode.