1
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,171
Hello.

2
00:00:38,221 --> 00:00:39,961
Welcome to another episode.

3
00:00:40,001 --> 00:00:40,361
How was your week?

4
00:00:40,921 --> 00:00:42,761
Hope you had a fabulous week.

5
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:46,021
This week, I want to talk about

6
00:00:46,251 --> 00:00:49,101
networking and in particular, why

7
00:00:49,111 --> 00:00:51,411
networking events are a waste of time.

8
00:00:52,187 --> 00:00:53,657
Yeah, I know the queen of

9
00:00:53,657 --> 00:00:54,716
networking has said it.

10
00:00:56,397 --> 00:00:58,267
I think networking events

11
00:00:58,367 --> 00:00:59,807
are a waste of time.

12
00:01:00,547 --> 00:01:01,947
And I get that right now.

13
00:01:01,947 --> 00:01:04,047
You might be wondering how on earth am

14
00:01:04,047 --> 00:01:06,677
I meant to build my multimillion dollar

15
00:01:06,677 --> 00:01:08,657
network if I don't put myself out there?

16
00:01:08,977 --> 00:01:09,377
How on earth?

17
00:01:10,047 --> 00:01:10,897
Am I meant to do this if

18
00:01:10,897 --> 00:01:12,107
I don't meet new people?

19
00:01:12,127 --> 00:01:13,227
And if I don't attend

20
00:01:13,297 --> 00:01:14,407
these type of events?

21
00:01:14,457 --> 00:01:16,077
Janine, I get it.

22
00:01:16,457 --> 00:01:18,147
And really don't get me wrong.

23
00:01:18,147 --> 00:01:19,117
I still want you to

24
00:01:19,117 --> 00:01:20,297
put yourself out there.

25
00:01:20,637 --> 00:01:23,627
It just doesn't involve 30 second well

26
00:01:23,627 --> 00:01:25,677
rehearsed elevator pitches, and it

27
00:01:25,727 --> 00:01:28,767
does not involve plastic name tags.

28
00:01:29,617 --> 00:01:31,487
The main issue I have with

29
00:01:31,487 --> 00:01:33,417
networking events is that they

30
00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:36,492
push quantity Over quality.

31
00:01:36,982 --> 00:01:39,462
The idea is to walk away with as many

32
00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:41,002
business cards as possible, right?

33
00:01:41,122 --> 00:01:41,932
I get that.

34
00:01:41,932 --> 00:01:43,352
But how much do you

35
00:01:43,352 --> 00:01:44,732
really know about them?

36
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,032
What are their interests?

37
00:01:47,032 --> 00:01:48,112
What are their hobbies?

38
00:01:48,122 --> 00:01:50,342
What, what's going on for them right now?

39
00:01:50,342 --> 00:01:51,932
Do you really know anything about

40
00:01:51,932 --> 00:01:53,782
their business ethic and whether

41
00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:55,742
that actually aligns with yours?

42
00:01:56,242 --> 00:01:57,172
Whether you'd like to actually

43
00:01:57,172 --> 00:01:58,072
work with them right now?

44
00:01:58,072 --> 00:01:58,622
Do you know?

45
00:01:59,172 --> 00:02:00,552
What help they actually need and

46
00:02:00,552 --> 00:02:02,402
what's really, really going on for

47
00:02:02,402 --> 00:02:06,242
them versus the Instagrammable facade

48
00:02:06,242 --> 00:02:08,872
that's created to share the, Hey, look

49
00:02:08,872 --> 00:02:10,812
at where I've been photo on socials.

50
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,582
Now, I even remember hearing the

51
00:02:13,582 --> 00:02:16,122
most observed story while I was

52
00:02:16,142 --> 00:02:18,292
at an event where I was actually

53
00:02:18,322 --> 00:02:20,752
teaching networking at this event.

54
00:02:20,752 --> 00:02:21,056
So.

55
00:02:21,217 --> 00:02:22,767
And during this event, this woman

56
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,637
approached me and after talking, she

57
00:02:24,637 --> 00:02:26,907
mentioned that to attend the session,

58
00:02:26,917 --> 00:02:29,517
her boss had said to her that to get

59
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,777
the ROI on the session, she had to bring

60
00:02:31,787 --> 00:02:34,097
back 10 business cards the next day.

61
00:02:34,927 --> 00:02:36,467
It was like they were turning this

62
00:02:36,707 --> 00:02:38,917
connection event into something

63
00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:41,207
that was innately inhuman.

64
00:02:41,207 --> 00:02:42,027
Something that.

65
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,422
Literally became another measurable KPI.

66
00:02:44,422 --> 00:02:45,842
And my response to her was, you know

67
00:02:45,842 --> 00:02:47,192
what, you know, those bowls over

68
00:02:47,192 --> 00:02:48,402
there, as you come through the door,

69
00:02:48,712 --> 00:02:50,022
the bowls where everyone's sticking

70
00:02:50,022 --> 00:02:52,042
that business card in to win the free

71
00:02:52,052 --> 00:02:53,492
prize draw at the end of the evening.

72
00:02:53,952 --> 00:02:55,422
I said to her, go there, put

73
00:02:55,558 --> 00:02:56,838
out the 10 business cards.

74
00:02:56,848 --> 00:02:57,588
There you go.

75
00:02:57,788 --> 00:02:59,735
the ROI has been done for your boss

76
00:02:59,735 --> 00:03:01,514
and you may even win the door prize.

77
00:03:02,084 --> 00:03:03,234
Tell you it's crazy.

78
00:03:03,404 --> 00:03:04,174
It's crazy.

79
00:03:04,504 --> 00:03:07,394
This concept of collecting the number

80
00:03:07,424 --> 00:03:08,994
of business cards and contacts that

81
00:03:09,004 --> 00:03:11,444
you can hopefully add to your LinkedIn

82
00:03:11,454 --> 00:03:14,074
profile or your chase list without

83
00:03:14,124 --> 00:03:16,274
even connecting properly with another

84
00:03:16,274 --> 00:03:17,905
person is totally absurd to me.

85
00:03:18,505 --> 00:03:20,705
Another example, I was at another

86
00:03:20,705 --> 00:03:22,795
speaking event and the MC decided

87
00:03:22,795 --> 00:03:24,905
to introduce me as the Queen

88
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,435
of Networking and he went on

89
00:03:26,435 --> 00:03:28,995
to say, I know how you network.

90
00:03:29,015 --> 00:03:30,165
You've got two hands.

91
00:03:30,165 --> 00:03:31,715
You've got one hand for shaking

92
00:03:32,165 --> 00:03:33,945
and the other hand for handing

93
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:35,165
out your business cards.

94
00:03:35,225 --> 00:03:35,785
I'm like, what?

95
00:03:36,855 --> 00:03:37,835
It's crazy.

96
00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:40,902
Now we do have to go to these events.

97
00:03:40,902 --> 00:03:41,412
I get it.

98
00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:43,382
It's all part of business building.

99
00:03:43,382 --> 00:03:44,512
It's, it's something that

100
00:03:44,522 --> 00:03:45,802
some of us have to do.

101
00:03:45,832 --> 00:03:46,986
but I want you to see them as

102
00:03:46,986 --> 00:03:48,596
that, like the majority of these

103
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,486
large format networking events

104
00:03:50,976 --> 00:03:52,706
are simply a meet and greet.

105
00:03:52,746 --> 00:03:55,366
There's simply a transactional

106
00:03:55,376 --> 00:03:57,206
lead generation exercise.

107
00:03:58,286 --> 00:03:59,576
But if you're curious about

108
00:03:59,576 --> 00:04:01,516
networking in a more powerful way,

109
00:04:01,856 --> 00:04:03,776
this is why I encourage you to focus

110
00:04:03,796 --> 00:04:06,256
instead on creating a tight knit

111
00:04:06,276 --> 00:04:08,936
social circle that may not even

112
00:04:08,936 --> 00:04:10,946
have more than four people in it.

113
00:04:11,221 --> 00:04:12,961
this is how I've built my business.

114
00:04:13,551 --> 00:04:15,931
I've built my business by tapping

115
00:04:15,941 --> 00:04:19,071
into a tight, a high quality

116
00:04:19,071 --> 00:04:21,321
network that through the ripple

117
00:04:21,381 --> 00:04:24,061
effect of conversation, the

118
00:04:24,061 --> 00:04:25,621
connections actually happen.

119
00:04:26,028 --> 00:04:27,568
I very rarely go to large

120
00:04:27,648 --> 00:04:28,878
scale format events.

121
00:04:30,388 --> 00:04:31,948
So why is focusing on

122
00:04:31,948 --> 00:04:33,878
a small network great?

123
00:04:34,338 --> 00:04:35,698
One of the main advantages of

124
00:04:35,698 --> 00:04:37,188
having a small network is that it

125
00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:38,718
actually frees up more time for

126
00:04:38,718 --> 00:04:41,168
you, more time and more energy to

127
00:04:41,168 --> 00:04:43,098
invest in meaningful relationships.

128
00:04:43,698 --> 00:04:45,278
When we have a massive network

129
00:04:45,278 --> 00:04:47,428
of connections, the risk is that

130
00:04:47,518 --> 00:04:49,478
we might feel obliged to attend

131
00:04:49,478 --> 00:04:51,618
every single event, to go to every

132
00:04:51,618 --> 00:04:53,398
single meeting or social gathering

133
00:04:53,638 --> 00:04:55,248
to maintain those connections.

134
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,153
Sometimes that hashtag FOMO may

135
00:04:58,153 --> 00:05:00,382
kick in the fear of missing out, but

136
00:05:00,382 --> 00:05:02,112
all of this can very quickly become

137
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,642
time consuming and energy draining.

138
00:05:05,022 --> 00:05:06,032
Something that you might've heard

139
00:05:06,032 --> 00:05:07,212
me speak about before on this

140
00:05:07,252 --> 00:05:08,802
podcast, where I talk about stretch

141
00:05:08,812 --> 00:05:10,242
fatigue, that feeling of being

142
00:05:10,242 --> 00:05:11,792
pulled in multiple directions.

143
00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:14,762
The opposite though, of having a small

144
00:05:14,762 --> 00:05:16,572
network of people that we can actually

145
00:05:16,572 --> 00:05:19,095
focus on, where we can build deeper,

146
00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:21,550
more authentic relationships with those

147
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,080
people that truly matter the most.

148
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,120
That's where the opportunity exists.

149
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,090
I say embrace the hashtag JOMA

150
00:05:29,091 --> 00:05:30,650
or the joy of missing out.

151
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,840
On large scale format events, and

152
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:36,420
instead build a tight network of

153
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,670
small quality group of people.

154
00:05:39,014 --> 00:05:40,923
The other opportunity of this is

155
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,723
that we can be really intentional.

156
00:05:43,063 --> 00:05:44,403
Building a small network

157
00:05:44,403 --> 00:05:46,193
enables us to be much more

158
00:05:46,193 --> 00:05:47,663
intentional in our relationships.

159
00:05:48,213 --> 00:05:49,783
When we have a vast network of

160
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,463
connections, it can be a challenge

161
00:05:52,463 --> 00:05:54,913
to maintain meaningful connections

162
00:05:55,163 --> 00:05:56,483
with every single person.

163
00:05:56,870 --> 00:05:58,250
However, when we focus on

164
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,080
building a small but powerful

165
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:02,610
circle, we can invest more time.

166
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,270
We can invest more energy into

167
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:06,170
cultivating those relationships

168
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:07,980
and as a result, create a more

169
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,390
significant impact with the world.

170
00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:12,690
And finally, having a small

171
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:15,120
network helps us to become more

172
00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:16,830
authentic and true to ourselves.

173
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:18,750
When we've got a massive network of

174
00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:21,120
connections, we might feel the need

175
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,620
to present ourselves in a certain

176
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:24,680
way to fit in or to be accepted.

177
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,210
However, when we build this

178
00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:28,380
small network, a powerful inner

179
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,480
circle, we can be more authentic.

180
00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:32,370
We can be true to ourselves.

181
00:06:32,691 --> 00:06:35,081
But when you have a large network,

182
00:06:35,371 --> 00:06:37,976
you've got to, work harder at this.

183
00:06:38,496 --> 00:06:40,906
So here are my three quick tips.

184
00:06:41,081 --> 00:06:43,341
For consciously connecting so that

185
00:06:43,341 --> 00:06:45,191
you can build a network that is

186
00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:47,191
based on quality and not quantity.

187
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,871
Number one, It starts with four people.

188
00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:51,611
You've heard me speak about this

189
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,401
before and I'm reiterating it.

190
00:06:53,441 --> 00:06:54,991
It's something I reiterate time

191
00:06:54,991 --> 00:06:56,841
and time again, your quality

192
00:06:56,841 --> 00:06:58,551
network starts with four people.

193
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:00,471
To create a network that is

194
00:07:00,471 --> 00:07:01,841
really going to help you grow.

195
00:07:01,841 --> 00:07:03,741
You need at least four

196
00:07:03,741 --> 00:07:05,081
people, not family.

197
00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:07,721
No significant other, but people that

198
00:07:07,721 --> 00:07:09,851
fill one of these four roles, four

199
00:07:09,871 --> 00:07:12,121
independent people, you need a teacher,

200
00:07:12,411 --> 00:07:14,141
that person who is stretching your

201
00:07:14,141 --> 00:07:16,151
thinking so you know more and that you

202
00:07:16,151 --> 00:07:18,121
can build your competitive advantage.

203
00:07:18,441 --> 00:07:20,811
You need the promoter, the person

204
00:07:20,811 --> 00:07:23,631
who encourages you to do more and

205
00:07:23,631 --> 00:07:25,181
pushes you towards your goals.

206
00:07:25,191 --> 00:07:26,271
They believe in you.

207
00:07:26,491 --> 00:07:27,381
They see more in you.

208
00:07:27,706 --> 00:07:29,616
Then you see in yourself, you need

209
00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:31,596
the pit crew, the person who is

210
00:07:31,596 --> 00:07:33,466
going to be there through thick and

211
00:07:33,476 --> 00:07:35,826
thin, who keeps you grounded and

212
00:07:35,826 --> 00:07:37,326
keeps you present in the moment.

213
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,561
And you need the butt kicker, the

214
00:07:39,652 --> 00:07:40,511
person that's going to hold you

215
00:07:40,511 --> 00:07:43,051
accountable and keep you focused.

216
00:07:43,445 --> 00:07:44,765
The person that's going to make sure

217
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,425
that you're doing the very thing,

218
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,535
the right things that you need to do

219
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,365
today to move forward into tomorrow.

220
00:07:50,785 --> 00:07:51,925
And if you don't have these four

221
00:07:51,925 --> 00:07:53,225
people in your network, that's

222
00:07:53,225 --> 00:07:54,605
exactly where you need to start.

223
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,250
The second tip is with this

224
00:07:57,350 --> 00:07:59,860
smaller type network, embrace

225
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,790
the "thank you for" concept.

226
00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:04,220
If you want to reach out to someone after

227
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,880
being at an event or after reading a book

228
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,440
or consuming a piece of content about

229
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,750
them on social media, then send them

230
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,170
the words, thank you for, and insert the

231
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:17,000
very thing that you're thanking them for.

232
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,510
These words, thank you

233
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:19,950
for, are a game changer.

234
00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:21,280
Think about.

235
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,200
Why you admire that person.

236
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,740
Think about what impact they had on you.

237
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:28,640
Think about what they shared that you

238
00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:30,800
loved or that resonated and share that

239
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,550
with them in the form of a message.

240
00:08:32,590 --> 00:08:34,980
Thank you for, and I can guarantee that

241
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:36,590
this genuine connection is going to make

242
00:08:36,670 --> 00:08:39,560
way more impact than a normal slew of

243
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,540
messages that might land in their inbox.

244
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,680
And the final thing is look

245
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,110
for opportunities to Be the

246
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,970
little fish in the big pond.

247
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,150
So many times I see people hanging out

248
00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:52,230
with the same people all of the time.

249
00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:52,830
It's almost like they

250
00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:54,060
outstay their welcome.

251
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,520
They get to this point where

252
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,510
they're not learning anything new.

253
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:58,600
There's a little bit of

254
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,270
group think that kicks in.

255
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:02,590
And essentially we're all keeping

256
00:09:02,590 --> 00:09:04,240
each other at that same level.

257
00:09:04,580 --> 00:09:07,510
That's not a space for growth, just

258
00:09:07,510 --> 00:09:10,130
like jobs and homes and clothes.

259
00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:12,690
Eventually we can outgrow our network.

260
00:09:12,690 --> 00:09:14,940
And while that might leave many of us.

261
00:09:15,015 --> 00:09:16,805
If you're feeling lost, it actually

262
00:09:16,825 --> 00:09:19,395
does provide the opportunity for us

263
00:09:19,415 --> 00:09:23,095
to reach out, to be brave, to put

264
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:24,585
yourself in a place where you're the

265
00:09:24,585 --> 00:09:26,535
small fish again in a bigger sea.

266
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:28,475
And whether you take this as an

267
00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:29,915
opportunity to invest in group

268
00:09:29,955 --> 00:09:32,255
mentorship or simply start showing

269
00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:33,935
up in places where you would

270
00:09:33,935 --> 00:09:35,995
like to be more often, look for

271
00:09:35,995 --> 00:09:37,985
those opportunities to be pushed.

272
00:09:38,325 --> 00:09:40,235
The people that you meet in that room

273
00:09:40,495 --> 00:09:42,515
are very likely to be the key players

274
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,415
in the next Stage of your growth.

275
00:09:45,055 --> 00:09:47,445
So rest assured that keeping a

276
00:09:47,485 --> 00:09:50,044
close knit circle isn't hindering

277
00:09:50,044 --> 00:09:51,424
your business growth at all.

278
00:09:51,684 --> 00:09:52,764
It isn't stopping your

279
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:54,051
opportunities at all.

280
00:09:54,381 --> 00:09:55,891
It's time to take an audit of

281
00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:57,781
your network, of your time and

282
00:09:57,791 --> 00:09:58,923
energy that you're putting in.

283
00:09:59,303 --> 00:10:01,383
See where the gaps are for connection

284
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,383
and start consciously connecting

285
00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:06,093
with the people that you want In your

286
00:10:06,093 --> 00:10:08,223
life and to be part of your life as

287
00:10:08,223 --> 00:10:10,163
this next growth in your business.

288
00:10:10,663 --> 00:10:12,143
I'd love to hear what you found

289
00:10:12,163 --> 00:10:13,773
most useful in today's podcast.

290
00:10:14,503 --> 00:10:16,053
Share below, share this

291
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,313
podcast with anyone that you

292
00:10:17,313 --> 00:10:18,523
think would find it useful.

293
00:10:18,523 --> 00:10:20,273
Love you to leave a review, send

294
00:10:20,273 --> 00:10:22,643
me any questions and have a truly

295
00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:24,863
awesome week until next week.