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What's up, everybody? It's
Becky here, and we're here for another

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episode of the podcast. And
Zur is joining me, as always. And

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we have a very special guest
today. We have none other than our

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lead pastor, Pastor Jason
Paredes. How do you feel about being

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here?

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Oh, I'm so excited.

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Let's go.

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We're here to talk about
something. Something that I think

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everybody would kind of know
about, and we talk about, especially

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at our church. We talk about
it a lot. But we wanted to touch

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a little bit more on prayer
and whether or not we believe in

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miracles. And I think those
two, I feel like people put them

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together a lot, but they don't
have to be. And so we might just

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have to focus on one versus
the other today. But I kind of wanted

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to introduce the topic. I'm
also extra excited that you're here.

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I think I told you this
already because me and Zur always

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say at the beginning of most
podcasts, like, we do not represent

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field of church. Like, this is
just a conversation. These are opinions.

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But you're just like, the
nicest insurance policy ever.

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Every time I hear y' all say
that, I always want to go, like,

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you do represent.

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I know, I know, I know. But
it's just a little like, please.

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It is on builder podcast.

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Yes, yes, yes. But anyways,
have you guys ever seen a miracle?

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Ever experienced?

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We got to give it to our guests.

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Yeah, no, I. I've experienced
a miracle. And so, I mean, you guys

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know about it, but it was
really long time in coming. I think

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I'd been with other people
who've experienced miracles who told

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me that, yeah, believed in
miracles, but didn't know if I would

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ever experience one myself.
You know, it's one of those weird

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things, like, you know,
physician, heal thyself. I pray for

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myself, and nothing happens.
And it wasn't a moment where, like,

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it was in the middle of a
prayer service, and I got anointed

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and prayed over, and
immediately, like, I jump up from

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being paralyzed. But it was.
It was a. A clear. I have from the

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doctor. I need surgery. And
then a week later, I'm calling saying,

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cancel the surgery. I'm
healed. And so as clear as anything.

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So I. I had, you know, going
back a little bit further. I had

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a massive injury where my
hamstring got severed from my hip

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bone, which was super ugly,
that one. The miracle was God given

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me surgery with a doctor who
could re anchor my hamstring back

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on. And so that I got so much
stronger did PT did all the Normal

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things you would think of. So
God brought healing through doctors.

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And then I started running
again, which has always been my thing,

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and just a little bit off, you
know, because of my hamstrings, a

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little shorter on one side.
And so after running for, I don't

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know, maybe three months, I
started having lower back pain. And

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there was a moment when I was
doing PT for my hamstring, and I

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felt a little click in my
back. I didn't know what it was.

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And it was actually a disc
getting ruptured, and so it poured

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out. Apparently you have,
like, fluid inside your discs, and

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it. It's like lava. So it
poured out and hardened, and it hardened

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at a point, and it was hitting
right on the nerve. And so I walked

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into my doctor after months
and months of PT and seeing doctors,

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but a specialist who, when he
saw me standing up instead of sitting

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down, he goes, okay, I know
exactly what's going on. You have

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a ruptured disc. It's this.
And you can't sit for more than two

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minutes, can you? And I said,
I cannot. And so he said, yeah, I've

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seen it. Try this. We're going
to try a steroid shot. If that doesn't

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work, we'll give it a couple
of weeks, and then we'll have to

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do a microdiscectomy. That
happened. Shot. It got worse, and

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it got to the point where it's
so excruciating. I'm collapsing.

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I can't even get out of bed. I
can barely drive to the office. I'm

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at restaurants kneeling
instead of sitting because I can't

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sit down. Just horrible pain.
Unbelievable pain. Like, worse than

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my hamstring.

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If I can pause this for a
second, too, some context is we were

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there whenever you had your
hammy injury. It was a distaff retreat.

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And, like, I just. I think
after we. Everyone realized, like,

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after you came back and you
were like, this is actually what

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happened. We were all just
like, your pain tolerance must be

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crazy, because, like, you
didn't even yell. Like, he just literally

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just like. Do you remember?
Like, he just literally just like,

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he just, like, stood there and
was like, something did something,

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and then that was it. Like,
that was it.

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Yeah. And at that point, my
hamstring was curled in a ball down

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below because it had severed
off. And I thought, like, that feels

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super weird down there. But,
yeah, so I do have a pretty high

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pain tolerance for the most
part. And so for it to be that excruciating,

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I went to the doctor and I'm
begging Him like, cut whatever you

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have to cut off, do it. I
cannot, I cannot, I cannot go another

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day with this kind of thing.
So I met with him on a Wednesday

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and we were trying to get that
surgery for Friday and then insurance

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didn't come through. Yeah, you
remember me being really bitter.

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So, like, it's gonna be two
weeks and I'm like, okay. I had to

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cancel a trip to the doctor. I
was supposed to go on with Buckner.

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And I was just. I was just
angry at the time. And so that Wednesday

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we scheduled the surgery, that
Thursday, I get told I can't have

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it. And I have the worst day
of my life, pain wise. And I'm just.

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And that's. I have a time with
the Lord where he's basically saying,

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you got to trust me. I'm doing
something in you. Stop asking me

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for to heal you. Just trust
me. And so I had to submit to the

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Lord and say, I trust you. I
had the worst day ever. But I'm walking

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with you, Lord. And then
Friday morning I wake up and I'm

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sleeping on a pallet on the
floor because it's the only place

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I can get any sleep. And I get
up and for the first time my leg

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moves. My back doesn't hurt.
And from that moment on, I haven't.

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It's been, wow, over a year
and a half. And my back has been

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free of that pain. So it was
instantaneous, it was miraculous,

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inexplicable, but I got to
experience it.

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Yeah.

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It's incredible.

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Yeah.

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Can you just kind of give us
insight? Like, what did your prayer

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life look like during that
time? Was it. Obviously there's a

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wave of emotions, maybe anger or.

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In the hurting time.

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In the hurting time, and then
even in the God telling you, hey,

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you need to be patient and
stop asking, like, what was that

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like?

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You know, I think this is the
part that makes it so stinking confusing

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because, like, if I have faith
the size of a mustard seed, I can

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move mountains. And I'm like,
God, I think I believe. I really

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think I believe. I don't know
why you're not healing me. I'm exercising

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faith and I'm believing I'm
seeing other people experience miracles,

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like, why not me? You know?
And so there's doubt, there's frustration.

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There are moments, like, in
the dark recesses of my soul where

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I'm going, God, are you really
there? I mean, is this stuff real

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here? I mean, I hear that it's
real, but I'm not experiencing it.

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And the pain is so brutal.
Life is so jacked up by this. And

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it's a stinking little part of
my backbone that's creating debilitating

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pain. And so. And when the
Lord invited me to pray, don't ask

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me to heal you right now. Ask
me to teach you. That was. I was

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angry with God and I told him
I was very honest, like, no, I'm

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not going to pray that,
because I don't believe that. I don't

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want you to teach me. I want
you to heal me. So I can't lie to

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you right now, God. I mean,
you can see right through that. And

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so it was a working on my
heart in that moment. And one of

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the things I learned is, like,
God is not afraid of my honest prayers,

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of my struggle with faith, of
human emotion, of human emotion.

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I don't have to act before
him, like, oh, yes, Lord, I believe.

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I mean, it was some ugly
cries, some ugly screams, some really

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hard moments. And I haven't
all journaled out because I journal

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a lot in those times. Still
do. But, yeah. And so it wasn't a

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pretty kind of faith. In fact,
I was shocked the next morning when

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I woke up like, you blessed
that kind of faith. I mean, I thought

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it. I thought it was going to
feel better. I thought it was going

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to look better. I thought it
was going to be, I don't know, more

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of a story.

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I can tell you were faithful.

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And then the Lord, and then in
intense faith, what I was, was broken

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and desperate. And I said,
whatever, Lord. Fine, you win. Don't

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heal me until you teach me
what you want to teach me. Do any

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in me you want to do in me.
And then the rest of that, it wasn't

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even that moment, like, and I
got up and everything was fine. It

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was a whole day of the worst
pain I've had in my life. And then

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the next day, he heals me. No
prayer, no prayer gathering moment,

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Nobody anointing, no, like,
you know, charismatic experience.

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I just. I'm on bed and on my
bed I get up and I can walk. Like,

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you seriously healed me at
night when I was sleeping.

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I mean, come on. Yeah, yeah.

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That could have been so much
more dramatic.

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I also want to add to it,
like, just the. Well, you mentioned

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it. Like, faith, like a
mustard seed can move mountains.

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Like, so I kind of just want
to ask, like, does the quantity of

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your faith, like, how does one
even measure faith in that sense?

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And does the quantity of faith
truly matter? Because I have a story

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to share. So, you know, I
think I might have shared this in

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our stories episode. But one
of. I don't know. My mom has always

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been like this amazing,
devoted to Christ, like, loves Jesus.

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I grew up with her as my mom
and she modeled faith. But I just

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didn't believe for a long
time. I didn't give my life over

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to Jesus until I was in my
mid-20s. But I remember specifically

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one memory. I never really
doubted the existence of God because

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of this. Like, and I do
believe it was a miracle. We were

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driving back from, you know,
seeing my dad and we had a five hour,

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five to nine hour drive. One
of those two, like, a lot. And my

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mom hates driving at night.
Like, it terrifies her. It's like

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her phobia almost. And we were
leaving that city a lot later than

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what we should have. And it
was 100% going to be super pitch

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black by the time we got back.
And she knew that. And I remember

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we were all in the car and she
was in the driver's seat and she

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was like, okay, everybody, bow
your heads, we're gonna pray. And

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I was like. And just like, I
was just like, oh, my gosh, like,

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I don't even want to do this.
Like, this is obviously gonna be

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dark, just get over it kind of
thing. Just like, really? And I was

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a kid, like. But even then I
just. My cynicism was just so deep

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in me. And she prayed and I
don't remember all of the prayer,

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and I remember it was in
Spanish, but basically what I do

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remember is she prayed like,
lord, please make the sun stand still.

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And I was just like, that's
the. Like, I was just so even logical,

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like, about it. I was just
like, that's so ridiculous. Like,

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no, like, that won't happen.
Like, that's ridiculous. Why would

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you even pray that? Like, just
pray that you will overcome the fear.

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Like, pray something more
realistic, you know? And we got in

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the car and I remember we were
driving and I was seeing the sun

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and it was like going down.
And I was literally just staring

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at it. Like, it was almost
like I had my faith was like waiting

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for her to fail. Like, waiting
for it to come back. Like, you see,

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like, he'd have answered you
kind of thing. And I remember the

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sun like stopped and it just
stopped going down. And like, I was

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just amazed. Like, I was just
staring at it. Like, no, like, come

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on, like, you want to keep
going down. Like, what's wrong? And

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then we made it back to the
house and the sun had just now started

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to set, like, at that point.
And so Like, I. In my mind, like,

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it stayed in the same place
for, like, hours. And I remember

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getting back at the house and
getting out of the car and, like,

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looking at the sun, and I was
just like, mom, like, it, it's just

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now setting. What happened?
And she was like, well, we prayed

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to the Lord and he answered.
And I credit that specific memory

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to the only reason why I never
doubted. I never wrestled with whether

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or not God existed. I always
knew that he did. And I credit that

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miracle. But that wasn't even
based on my faith. And yet I was

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the beneficiary of it. It was
on my mom's faith. And so just like,

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I don't know, what kind of
faith does it take to kind of experience

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even anything like that?

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Something I've been actually
chewing on a ton lately. And it was

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actually, I was reviewing one
of Dalen's messages because we were

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doing a mentorship thing
together, and he just brought this

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idea up that I was talking
back and forth with him about. But

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I think, I think we totally
misunderstand the word faith. And,

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and because of it, we don't.
We don't know what to do with, like,

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the size of faith, because
faith is a noun. So it's like almost

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like it's an object that has
to have a size to it. When I think

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the much more biblical idea is
faith as a verb, belief is the noun.

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And so faith is belief in
action. So faith always has a movement

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component to it. And so, you
know, Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade,

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and he's got to take that step
over and he can't see it. And it

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looks like he's about to step
into the great abyss. And did he

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have a lot of faith to take
that step or a little bit of faith?

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Well, if, if it's belief, he
has no idea what's going to happen.

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He's scared to death. He puts
his foot out there. If faith is action,

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whether he felt confident or
not, he had the same amount of faith

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because it moved. And so if
faith is movement towards something

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that you believe in, then the
size of it is just the action. And

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so whether I'm trembling as I
take my step or I'm totally confident

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as I take my step, it doesn't
change the level of my faith because

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the faith was the step. And so
I think the question is the size

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of our faith is do we obey
what we believe God is calling us

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to? So in that moment, for me,
on my bedside, as I'm crying out

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to the Lord and I'm Wrestling.
All I say. All I do is I say something.

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I say, God, don't heal me
until you've done everything you

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want to do in me and taught me
everything you want to teach me.

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That was my step, to declare
that I did it with trembling and

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with frustration and anger. So
did I have real strong belief? Maybe

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not. Did I have faith? Yes,
because I took the step and I prayed,

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and I think the Lord responded
to that. I think about the centurion

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who comes to Jesus or wouldn't
even, you know, like, sends others,

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but, like, just come heal my
servant. So the faith step was taking

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the action to say, y' all go
talk to him and ask him to come to.

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To heal my son from a
distance. I know you can do this.

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I'm a man under authority. I
know the faith step was to say, I'm

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going to set this in motion.
Or the dad, the officer, or the official

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whose son was ill. And he went
to Jesus, said, come heal my son.

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And Jesus said, you know, you
need to see. He's always going to

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see signs. And he said,
please, he's going to die. And Jesus

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said, go. Your son will live.
And immediately he went. He walked.

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And as he was going, his
servants came to him and told him

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that his son was recovering.
And he said, well, when did he begin

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to get better? And they said,
yesterday, the seventh hour. The

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fever left him. And he says
the father knew that was the hour

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when Jesus said to him, your
son will live. And he himself believed

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in all his household. Well,
the faith step was to not badger

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Jesus anymore. But Jesus said,
your son will live. And he went that

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step. That was the size of his
faith. So I think about your mom

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right there. Like, she drove.

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Yeah.

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And she prayed and she drove.
That was the faith step. That's.

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That's faith. That's the same
size of faith. Whether she's feeling

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great about it or whether
she's going. I have no idea if it's

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going to get dark or not, but
I'm. I'm trusting. So I think if

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we looked at faith
differently, I think we would. We

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wouldn't. We would measure it differently.

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That's good.

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That's incredible.

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That's good.

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I never thought about it.

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I know. Me neither. I didn't even.

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In that type of way.

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Yeah. Yeah. Well. And I also
kind of want to add, too, like, about

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how does prayer, you know,
kind of play a factor in it? Because,

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again, my mom's prayer was,
like, very, very. It was fear, like,

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I remember. Like, her. Like,
her voice was like shaking. And it

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was just very fear based. And
even times where I've prayed. And

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it doesn't have to be about
miracles, just like anything in general.

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Like, you know, the posture of
prayer. And I think, like, also,

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we also want to resist the
temptation to only pray whenever

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we need something from God. I
remember my mom used to tell me that

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a lot like, God is not a
genie. Like, it's not just a lamp

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that you rub and get what you
want. Like, and so just I want to,

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I want to, you know, hold that
with, against that tension. But also

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just the reality of like, what
should our posture of in prayer look

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like?

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Yeah, I think there's
different kinds of prayer. And I

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think that's another thing
that we've got to get comfortable

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with. I think you have a
warfare kind of prayer where you're

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going up into the heavenly
places and you are in Christ Jesus

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at the right hand of the
Father. And there's the courtroom

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scene and you are coming
before the Father, asking him to

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do something. And these
heavenly decisions affect earthly

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realities. So strongholds are
broken. This is the warring with

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divine weapons of warfare. So
there's that kind of prayer. I do

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think there's the desperation
kind of prayer, which is like, I'm

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just in need and I can't. But
you can, God. So I'm trusting you.

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Which is a, that's faith, and
that's faith as an action like that.

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The act of praying is saying,
I could try to solve this by myself

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or I'm gonna, I'm gonna put it
in your hands. So I think that's

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a kind. I also think, and, and
if I were guessing, like, this is,

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I'm totally making this up on
the spot, but percentages, but like,

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you know, maybe 10% of my
prayer time is at warfare in the

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heavenly courtroom. Maybe, you
know, 2 to 3%, maybe even 1%. Is

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that like flare prayer? And
I'm desperate. I need you. And then

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like 90 to 95% of prayer
should be abiding prayer, and abiding

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prayer is not. I don't want
anything from you, God. I just want

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you. I want to be in your
presence. Because at the end of the

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day, it's Moses going, listen,
if you don't go with us to the promised

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land, don't give us the
promised land, because we don't want

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it if you're not in it. I want
you. You're the prize. You're the

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goal. And so I think if you
have a, a massively steady diet of

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abiding prayer and you begin
to know the father's heart because

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you're just sitting with him
and spending time with him. Then

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those that warfare moment or
even the like flare prayer. And I

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need you right now. I think
there's an effectiveness because

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of I'm not getting something
from you, God, you're not my genie

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00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:41,790
that I'm trying to rub. If you
don't give me anything else and you

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give me yourself, then you've
given me everything that I could

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possibly want. If that's like
the majority of your diet, like,

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00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:49,140
yeah, you can have Some M&Ms,
you can have a cookie every once

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in a while, but. But this is
the meat and potatoes and the salad.

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Salad.

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They were going to say low
carb. The low carb lifestyle is over

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00:17:58,380 --> 00:17:58,660
here.

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00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,380
Yeah. The bulk of your diet
should be.

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Yeah, yeah.

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I want to ask very
practically, like if you're saying

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bulk prayer is abiding prayer,
this is the steady diet, what does

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that look like? What does that
look like for you personally in your

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00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,480
time with the Lord? And then
what do you think that could look

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like for somebody who might
want to explore? I mean, really taking

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listening to this episode and
saying, hey, I want to put this into

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practice myself.

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00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,360
Yeah, that's a great question.
So I'll tell you my practice and

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00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:34,320
disclaimer. It's not
everybody, you know, it's a reminder,

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you know, by the grace of God,
I am unbelievably blessed that my

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job is the ministry of the
church. And so the church gives me

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00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,660
a lot more latitude. Like
they're not disgruntled if I show

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up to the office late because
I've been on my knees praying and

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spending time with the Lord.
Like, they're my pastor's advisory

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00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:51,340
council. If they hear I spend
five hours in prayer in the morning,

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they're like, praise God, keep
doing that. They're not like, what

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00:18:53,740 --> 00:18:57,500
do you mean? You showed up the
office at noon. So it's different.

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And I get that. But I've had
to go on a massive journey of discovering

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what abiding prayer is.
Probably should just listen to Clyde

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00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:09,580
a long time ago. Teach me. I'm
thick headed though. I got to figure

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this stuff out on my own. And
so when I first tried to figure out

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so I had a crisis moment in my
life where the Lord really had to

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00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:22,080
shock my heart back up and
invite me to lead different, to follow

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different, to preach
different, to do everything differently,

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to do it from a place of
abiding prayer, not from my own gumption

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or work or ability. And so
that's my prayer journey has been

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a shift over the last, really,
the last five years, four to five

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years. And so when I really
stepped into this, I felt the Lord

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saying, I want you to pray
hours a day, not minutes a day. And

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so my first thought back to
the Lord was like, what do I do for

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hours a day?

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Where am I going to find the time?

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How do you, how do you, yeah,
even before, where do I find the

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time? If I had the time, what
would I do? That, that sounds horrible.

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Like just sitting there going,
like, run out of things to pray?

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Do I just go through the list
again? You know what counts and what

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doesn't count. If I'm reading
my Bible, well, that doesn't sound

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like that's prayer, so that
must not be prayer. But I know that's

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God's word, so he's speaking
to me. So does that count? Does that

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00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:16,670
not count if I'm reading a
devotional book? If I'm journaling,

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do I have to write out prayer
requests? Or can it be different?

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What if I'm praying and I fall
asleep? Do I have to deduct the time

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that I slept and then come
back in? Like that's like what counts

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and what doesn't. And the
thing the Lord has been releasing

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00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:33,350
me on is that if I'm seeking
Him, stop thinking this counts and

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this doesn't count because he
owns it all. And so that's given

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me a lot of freedom to say.
Abiding with you just means sitting

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with you. And one of the
things I have discovered for me personally,

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for anybody who wants to grow
abiding, the sweetest four letter

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word to Almighty God is T I M
E. Time to linger in his presence.

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Nothing honors God more than
saying, you matter more than everything

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else. So I, I sit in journal
at the same place in my backyard.

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I have a, a screened in porch
that overlooks my, my backyard. And

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unless it's freezing, I'll be
out there with a blanket on or sweating

380
00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:14,510
with a fan going like, I'm
going to be outside, sit with the

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Lord. My kids will wake up and
they'll come, they'll give me a hug.

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I have one daughter who always
sit in my lap for a little bit. I'll

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00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:22,590
give her two or three minutes
and we'll cuddle. And then I'm like,

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all right, baby, that is that
he's spending time with Jesus. And

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00:21:26,470 --> 00:21:28,790
it's a. They know it. We all
know this is going to be my time

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where I'm lingering in his
presence and He Gets full priority.

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I don't plan breakfast
meetings. I don't plan early things

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at all. Becky knows this.
Like, don't. Don't have anything

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in the morning time. Because I
don't ever want to rush the Lord.

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And that's when I hear him the
most, when I'm not. Every time I

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got to catch a plane or I got
to do something else, I'm all right.

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Come on, Lord. Come on, give
me something. I never hear from the

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00:21:53,570 --> 00:21:57,450
Lord. So that lingering with
the Lord is what has been the most

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00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:00,050
important. Like, you are my
priority, God. And it's something

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00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:02,690
in marriage, too. Like, if I'm
spending time with my wife and I

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00:22:02,690 --> 00:22:06,170
tell her, hurry up, woman,
let's have some deep time. First

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00:22:06,170 --> 00:22:07,330
of all, my wife would slap me
in the face.

398
00:22:07,810 --> 00:22:08,570
Doesn't go well.

399
00:22:08,570 --> 00:22:12,850
Secondly, it won't accomplish
what I want. And she's got a slap.

400
00:22:12,850 --> 00:22:17,130
Let me tell you, my face is
still recovering. I'm just kidding,

401
00:22:17,130 --> 00:22:22,410
baby. You know, so from what I
do in the morning time is I always

402
00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:28,650
start with the Word. And I. I
go between just getting my nerd on

403
00:22:28,650 --> 00:22:33,130
right now, but, like, I'm. I'm
going to get into translating the

404
00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:37,130
scriptures, moving super slow.
So two or three verses in the morning,

405
00:22:37,370 --> 00:22:40,010
and I'll do a couple of
chapters that, you know, chapters

406
00:22:40,010 --> 00:22:43,530
will take weeks because I'm
going so slow in the Old Testament.

407
00:22:43,770 --> 00:22:47,320
I'm in Zechariah right now.
Incredible. Some of the stuff in

408
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,920
there. And then I'll go do two
chapters in the New Testament. And

409
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,160
I'm my second way through the
New Testament. So I'm in the book

410
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,560
of Revelation, which has got
some fire in there, too. And so I

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00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:01,520
just. I'm. I am just zeroing
down super slow. Every word, every

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00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:05,880
verb, parsing it out,
conjugating it, looking at every

413
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,000
bit of it. Because that. That
feeds my soul. Yeah, some people

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00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:13,410
that would kill them feeds my
soul. So I have about 30 minutes

415
00:23:13,410 --> 00:23:18,330
where I'm doing that, and then
I'll have some time where I'm doing

416
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:23,930
more of like, praying for my
lost neighbors, engaging in more

417
00:23:23,930 --> 00:23:27,770
list kind of prayer, mainly
evangelistic kind of prayer. And

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00:23:27,770 --> 00:23:31,170
that's. That's short. That's
five, ten minutes max. And then I'll

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00:23:31,170 --> 00:23:34,130
have about 30 minutes of
reading some type of devotional book,

420
00:23:34,130 --> 00:23:38,090
usually on prayer or
leadership or the Word or something

421
00:23:38,090 --> 00:23:41,970
like that. And that's about a
little hour, hour and 15 of that.

422
00:23:42,530 --> 00:23:46,970
But the most meaningful time
for me is I'll get my journal and

423
00:23:46,970 --> 00:23:50,810
my pen and I go to the
backyard Got my cup of coffee, and

424
00:23:50,810 --> 00:23:52,890
I'm just sitting with the
Lord, And I start my journal off

425
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,730
every time the exact same way.
I'm a creature of habit anyway, but

426
00:23:55,810 --> 00:23:58,210
good morning, Lord. That's the
first thing I always write to him.

427
00:23:58,210 --> 00:24:03,170
And then I do a gratitude
portion at first to say, here are

428
00:24:03,170 --> 00:24:05,610
all the things that. And I'll
spend 15 to 30 minutes just saying,

429
00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:07,390
thank you for this, thank you
for this, thank you for this. And

430
00:24:07,390 --> 00:24:09,190
there are times where I'm
going, I don't even know what to

431
00:24:09,190 --> 00:24:11,590
thank you for right now, oh,
God, open my eyes so I can even see.

432
00:24:11,590 --> 00:24:16,430
And then he will. And then
I'll spend another 15 to 30 minutes

433
00:24:17,390 --> 00:24:20,270
on thinking about what I'm
thinking about in that moment. Like,

434
00:24:20,510 --> 00:24:24,710
what's pressing my heart this
morning. Last night at the prayer

435
00:24:24,710 --> 00:24:27,270
gathering, I wrote the
confession questions, and then they

436
00:24:27,270 --> 00:24:30,070
slapped me all up in the fail.
Angry with myself. My own confession

437
00:24:30,070 --> 00:24:32,970
questions. But one of them
about what false beliefs do you have?

438
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:38,760
And so one of them for me was
this false belief that I'll never

439
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,000
be good enough as a pastor, as
a husband, as a father. Like, it's

440
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,640
just this belief I know is
from the enemy, not from the Lord.

441
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,000
But, like, sooner or later,
everybody's gonna find out you're

442
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,720
not really as good as you
think you are. And so I'm writing

443
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,360
that out. I'm sitting here
going, I'm angry with myself. Why

444
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:55,040
do I have this belief? Where's
it coming from? And I thought, the

445
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,520
Lord's saying, take it before
me. So this morning I have that,

446
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,400
and I write it out and go, all
right, Lord, let's wrestle. And I'm

447
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,270
just wrestling with my
thoughts, with the Lord, and we're

448
00:25:03,270 --> 00:25:05,390
having conversation. He's
course correcting me. He's calling

449
00:25:05,390 --> 00:25:07,710
out sin. He's redirecting me.
He's saying, hey, the whole reason

450
00:25:07,710 --> 00:25:09,430
I called you to lead this
church is because you're not good

451
00:25:09,430 --> 00:25:12,110
enough. You have to know that.
And then you have to trust my call.

452
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:15,070
And so, you know, he's
speaking to me, and it's deep, and

453
00:25:15,070 --> 00:25:19,270
I'm just. And sometimes it's
never audible, but I'm hearing the

454
00:25:19,270 --> 00:25:22,070
Lord. I'm writing feverishly.
And sometimes I'm talking back to

455
00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:24,470
God. Like, he's sitting
because he's there. I mean, I can

456
00:25:24,470 --> 00:25:28,790
feel his presence. I can hear
the thoughts coming from him. And

457
00:25:29,590 --> 00:25:31,910
so we have a great time. And
then I'll move on. That's. That's

458
00:25:31,910 --> 00:25:34,270
already been, like, 30 minutes
to an hour. And then I'll move On

459
00:25:34,270 --> 00:25:37,390
to scripture memorization. God
is speaking to me through that. And

460
00:25:37,390 --> 00:25:41,350
so I'm in the process of
memorizing biggest portion of scripture

461
00:25:41,350 --> 00:25:44,230
I've ever memorized before.
But I do it one verse at a time.

462
00:25:44,390 --> 00:25:51,030
And so I'm. I'll take. I'll
review maybe 10 to 15 verses and

463
00:25:51,030 --> 00:25:53,870
write them out and then add
the next verse. And then, you know,

464
00:25:53,870 --> 00:25:56,920
every week I kind of scoot it
down and I keep doing that, and that's

465
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,720
going to be another 15 to 20
minutes. And then I do the last part,

466
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,280
which is my daily assignment.
Lord Holy Spirit, I'm presenting

467
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,160
my body to you. What do you
want me to do? What's your assignment

468
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,840
for me? And I'm listening. And
then God tells me, and I try to obey,

469
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,960
and that's. That'll take two,
sometimes three hours to do that.

470
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,720
Yeah, I. I also kind of want
to speak to you said something earlier,

471
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:22,030
and I think this is a good
place to start about, like, how the

472
00:26:22,030 --> 00:26:27,510
Lord. I don't know, just like
our prayers can. Can do things, can

473
00:26:27,510 --> 00:26:32,150
move the heart of God. And so,
you know, my flesh. Part of me is

474
00:26:32,150 --> 00:26:36,550
like, how, like, why? The Lord
is like sovereign. He is like Lord

475
00:26:36,550 --> 00:26:40,670
over all things. Like, why.
Why should I even value prayer? Like,

476
00:26:40,670 --> 00:26:43,150
he know, like Scripture talks
about, like, he knows the words on

477
00:26:43,150 --> 00:26:46,030
your. On your tongue before
you even speak them. So, like, why

478
00:26:46,030 --> 00:26:49,550
should I even take time? Or
like, what. What's the value in it?

479
00:26:49,550 --> 00:26:53,900
What's the point? Like, how
can I convince the Lord to do anything?

480
00:26:54,140 --> 00:26:56,100
First of all, I love that
you're quoting the Sermon on the

481
00:26:56,100 --> 00:27:01,180
Mount. Way to go. Yeah. So,
yeah. Do not heap up empty words

482
00:27:01,180 --> 00:27:02,820
of the Gentiles, for your
Father knows what you need before

483
00:27:02,820 --> 00:27:03,300
you ask him.

484
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:03,460
Right?

485
00:27:03,460 --> 00:27:07,740
And then it says, pray then
like this. So it says, don't heap

486
00:27:07,740 --> 00:27:10,380
up empty words. He already
knows what you need, therefore, pray.

487
00:27:10,940 --> 00:27:15,020
And so, like, even Jesus who's
teaching this isn't disqualifying

488
00:27:15,020 --> 00:27:17,460
prayer because the Father
knows what you need, but it does

489
00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:22,050
say, okay, well, maybe I've
misunderstood prayer. Prayer is not

490
00:27:22,050 --> 00:27:26,330
telling God what I need. Like,
God, you didn't know. I know. Let

491
00:27:26,330 --> 00:27:29,370
me go ahead and tell you what
I need so you can answer it and catch

492
00:27:29,370 --> 00:27:32,330
up with me because I'm ahead
of you. That's not. But we view prayer

493
00:27:32,330 --> 00:27:37,090
that way, like prayer lists.
And that's why abiding is so important.

494
00:27:38,450 --> 00:27:42,210
So maybe the easiest way that
I've been able to understand this

495
00:27:42,210 --> 00:27:47,420
is make a confession here.
First of all, I'm confessing. I do

496
00:27:47,420 --> 00:27:51,820
not have a favorite child. I
just want that to be clear. I want

497
00:27:51,820 --> 00:27:55,260
my. If my children watch this
and listen to this, I want them to

498
00:27:55,260 --> 00:27:59,940
know I absolutely do not have
a favorite child. I love all six

499
00:27:59,940 --> 00:28:03,540
of my children equally. I want
that to be very clear.

500
00:28:03,540 --> 00:28:04,100
Got it.

501
00:28:04,820 --> 00:28:09,780
I have one child who positions
herself to receive my love more than

502
00:28:09,780 --> 00:28:13,060
any of my other children. One
of my children is a daddy's girl.

503
00:28:14,230 --> 00:28:18,350
And anytime I enter the room,
she will come running from whatever

504
00:28:18,350 --> 00:28:18,710
room she's.

505
00:28:18,710 --> 00:28:20,070
At going, daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

506
00:28:20,070 --> 00:28:24,030
And will embrace me and won't
let me walk. She'll just. I'm like,

507
00:28:24,030 --> 00:28:26,910
baby, come on. I got. I gotta
go put my backpack down. Baby, come

508
00:28:26,910 --> 00:28:31,270
on. Every morning, my other
kids will pop out and go, hey, Daddy.

509
00:28:31,270 --> 00:28:33,950
Because I'm out there
journaling. She will come out and

510
00:28:33,950 --> 00:28:37,070
she will sit in my lap and
wait until I tell her, okay, baby,

511
00:28:37,070 --> 00:28:39,910
you need to go back inside.
Like, she will not. We go sit at

512
00:28:39,910 --> 00:28:41,830
the table. She's supposed to
be eating her meal. She go, daddy,

513
00:28:41,830 --> 00:28:44,630
can I sit in your lap? Eat
your meal first, baby. When you're

514
00:28:44,630 --> 00:28:48,070
done, then you can come. We go
sit down and watch a show. And she

515
00:28:48,070 --> 00:28:51,790
immediately, she's gonna be in
my lap. And she's frustrated when

516
00:28:51,790 --> 00:28:56,230
her sister wants to sit in my
lap instead of her. And so, the truth

517
00:28:56,230 --> 00:28:59,870
be told, she gets a lot of my
love and affection because she just

518
00:28:59,870 --> 00:29:02,630
keeps positioning herself to
receive it. I tell my other kids,

519
00:29:02,870 --> 00:29:05,750
even my son Max, you sit in my
lap, I'll hug you all up, kiss you,

520
00:29:05,750 --> 00:29:11,210
and you'll get a lot of
affection from me because I'm ready

521
00:29:11,210 --> 00:29:16,210
to give it. But she sits in my
lap and she seeks me out and she

522
00:29:16,210 --> 00:29:20,370
pursues me. She declares, if
she's hurt, this is my hunger. My

523
00:29:20,370 --> 00:29:23,770
only kid who'll do this if she
gets hurt. If her mama's in front,

524
00:29:24,090 --> 00:29:27,250
she'll walk right past her
mama and come to me. And all the

525
00:29:27,250 --> 00:29:30,690
other ones, they will go to
mama first for sure. And I question

526
00:29:30,690 --> 00:29:33,690
the intelligence of this one
for mommy, because she knows what

527
00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:36,310
to do and I don't. But she
just loves me so much that she's

528
00:29:36,310 --> 00:29:40,110
going to be with me. So she
gets a lot of my affection that I

529
00:29:40,110 --> 00:29:43,390
offer to all my children, but
she positions herself to receive

530
00:29:43,390 --> 00:29:46,550
it. And so that's why they're
all jealous. Because, like, will,

531
00:29:46,550 --> 00:29:50,630
you sit in my lap? You'll get
a tick. This is where abiding we're

532
00:29:50,630 --> 00:29:55,070
not convincing God to do what
he wasn't already going to do. He

533
00:29:55,070 --> 00:29:58,790
is sovereign. He knows what
he's doing, his will is perfect before

534
00:29:58,790 --> 00:30:01,350
the foundation of the world.
He has it all mapped out for us.

535
00:30:02,130 --> 00:30:04,650
But there are people who
position themselves to receive his

536
00:30:04,650 --> 00:30:08,170
affection, to receive his
power, to receive familiarity with

537
00:30:08,170 --> 00:30:12,530
him, that align their wills to
him. And so now you're praying with

538
00:30:12,530 --> 00:30:15,530
the will of God, and my heart
and heart is keeping me praying from

539
00:30:15,530 --> 00:30:17,609
the will of God. And you're
seeing God move in power, and it

540
00:30:17,609 --> 00:30:19,970
just looks like you got a bat
line to him. And you're his favorite.

541
00:30:19,970 --> 00:30:22,250
And I'm over here going, I'm
praying just as much as she is. Why

542
00:30:22,250 --> 00:30:25,490
am I not seeing? Well, maybe,
maybe Becky sat in the lap of the

543
00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:29,090
Father more than Jason sat in
the lap of the Father. And so she's

544
00:30:29,090 --> 00:30:32,570
receiving the power and the
affection and the results of that,

545
00:30:32,570 --> 00:30:36,210
because the Father's giving
what he would have given to anybody

546
00:30:36,210 --> 00:30:42,490
who sat in his lap. So when
you. That's why 90, 95% is that sitting

547
00:30:42,490 --> 00:30:45,810
in the lap of the Father, just
being with him, being real with him,

548
00:30:46,130 --> 00:30:50,850
being angsty with him, doting
on him, thanking him, loving him,

549
00:30:51,090 --> 00:30:53,690
you know, I healed ten of you.
Only one of you came back. Were not

550
00:30:53,690 --> 00:30:57,870
nine others healed, but. But
the one that Jesus was, he wanted

551
00:30:57,870 --> 00:31:00,350
the other nine to come back,
and they didn't. So those who choose

552
00:31:00,350 --> 00:31:03,710
to come back to show
gratitude, to be with him, they experience

553
00:31:03,790 --> 00:31:06,510
the affection and the power
and the work of God more than others.

554
00:31:07,230 --> 00:31:10,910
Not because their prayers are
more precise or more theologically

555
00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:13,790
accurate or they have some bat
line, but because they have sat in

556
00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:15,670
the lap of the Father and
they're receiving that affection.

557
00:31:15,670 --> 00:31:16,390
Yeah, that's good.

558
00:31:16,390 --> 00:31:19,350
Yeah. I'm trying to connect
the two thoughts that we just talked

559
00:31:19,350 --> 00:31:24,070
about. Like, you talked about
time as an aspect of really connecting

560
00:31:24,070 --> 00:31:27,150
to the other thought. Is the
sitting in the lap abiding, being

561
00:31:27,150 --> 00:31:31,830
with Him. What do you say to
the person who is just busy? Maybe

562
00:31:32,310 --> 00:31:35,470
they don't get the privilege
of, you know, two to three hours

563
00:31:35,470 --> 00:31:41,110
of just really sitting at the
feet of Jesus in his lap. But, like,

564
00:31:41,190 --> 00:31:45,510
maybe they just have 10
minutes here, 15 minutes there, 30

565
00:31:45,510 --> 00:31:46,110
minute break.

566
00:31:46,110 --> 00:31:46,470
Like.

567
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:49,440
What'S your encouragement for that?

568
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,800
I love that question. Because
I feel like that we hear so much,

569
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,920
not just those who are, like,
in ministry or, like, but even just

570
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,520
in general. Like, with what
time? Like, where am I gonna spend

571
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,840
two hours? Like, I don't even
have time to sleep. Like, I barely

572
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,400
sleep. Like, I have a newborn
baby crying, or I have to take all

573
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,000
these kids to school, or,
like, I'm, you know, doing all these

574
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,840
things for King Jesus, like, I
don't have time. Like, yeah, I love.

575
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,920
Thank you for asking that. And
I'm really excited to hear your response.

576
00:32:14,130 --> 00:32:19,530
Yeah. So just, just know my
heart when I say that. And I'm going

577
00:32:19,530 --> 00:32:22,530
to say to, to those people out
there, not to you.

578
00:32:22,530 --> 00:32:22,850
Or.

579
00:32:24,690 --> 00:32:27,450
You make time for what you.
What matters to you. You sing that

580
00:32:27,450 --> 00:32:32,730
song like it is the biggest
cop out in the world to say I'm.

581
00:32:32,730 --> 00:32:36,610
I'm too busy. Because we have
structured our life around the things

582
00:32:36,610 --> 00:32:39,810
that matter to us. Yeah. And
if he is not in there, we have said

583
00:32:39,810 --> 00:32:42,510
with our actions, he. He's not
really that important because if

584
00:32:42,510 --> 00:32:46,950
we did. And I'm going to be
really honest, like, the number one

585
00:32:46,950 --> 00:32:50,710
fear I had of stepping into
this prayer life was like, God, I

586
00:32:50,710 --> 00:32:53,230
don't know if you. You saw
this, but I'm the pastor of a mega

587
00:32:53,230 --> 00:32:59,190
church. Like, those are pretty
busy people. I'm already stinking

588
00:32:59,190 --> 00:33:04,110
it up at replying to emails
and text messages, and I could use

589
00:33:04,110 --> 00:33:06,710
twice the amount of time on my
sermons. And I've got people that

590
00:33:07,180 --> 00:33:10,500
need counseling. And I got, I
got other things I'm invited to go

591
00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,860
speak at. I could be working
on the kingdom. God, I ain't got

592
00:33:12,860 --> 00:33:15,580
time for this. Like, yeah,
sure, Martin Luther could do it because

593
00:33:15,580 --> 00:33:18,140
that brother didn't have
electricity. But, like, now we got,

594
00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:22,620
like, it's. I'm expected to be
on point all the time, and I'm supposed

595
00:33:22,620 --> 00:33:25,540
to be posting on social media.
Like, I literally. The Lord invited

596
00:33:25,540 --> 00:33:28,820
me completely off of social
media when I know that diminishes

597
00:33:28,820 --> 00:33:30,820
my platform in some way. And
the Lord at the end of the day is

598
00:33:30,820 --> 00:33:33,660
going, like, you choose. You
can have me or you can have a platform.

599
00:33:35,050 --> 00:33:37,770
And you might not be able to
have both.

600
00:33:37,930 --> 00:33:38,490
Yeah.

601
00:33:38,730 --> 00:33:41,450
And, you know, we've talked
about this before, but one of the

602
00:33:41,450 --> 00:33:44,410
ways the Lord has helped me
conceptualize it is that the things

603
00:33:44,410 --> 00:33:48,890
the Lord wants to do, he gets
done when we sit at his feet. It's

604
00:33:48,890 --> 00:33:54,810
the Mary, Martha and Martha,
Martha, you're worried about all

605
00:33:54,810 --> 00:33:58,050
these things. You're so busy
trying to make everything perfect.

606
00:33:58,050 --> 00:34:00,410
But Mary's chosen the better
portion. She's sitting at my feet.

607
00:34:00,410 --> 00:34:03,310
I'm not going to take it away
from her. That's the better portion,

608
00:34:03,550 --> 00:34:06,310
sitting at the feet. And I
think at the. I think by the time

609
00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:10,150
we stand before Jesus, we're
not going to go. I wish I had spent

610
00:34:10,150 --> 00:34:13,550
more time doing these other
things. I think we're going to be

611
00:34:13,550 --> 00:34:17,230
so grateful for how well we
knew the Father, how well we knew

612
00:34:17,230 --> 00:34:19,910
the Son, how well we knew the
Spirit, by the time we spent all

613
00:34:19,910 --> 00:34:21,270
eternity with the Holy Trinity.

614
00:34:21,270 --> 00:34:21,710
Yeah.

615
00:34:21,710 --> 00:34:24,630
And we're preparing because
that is eternal life is being with

616
00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:28,720
Him. And so I just think
everything else should flow from

617
00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:31,480
that. And so I've used the
illustration before. Y' all have

618
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:35,600
heard it. But, like, you know,
sometimes we work our tails off because

619
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,640
we think it's our effort
that's going to open the doors that

620
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,000
we want open or need open for
the sake of ministry. There's a hundred

621
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,800
doors, there's 100 keys. And I
could just work my tail off and go,

622
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,960
door one, key one. Nope. Key
two, key three, key four. And I work

623
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,080
all the way to key 74. That
opens it. I open the door and, nope,

624
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,670
wrong door, door number two.
Key one, key two, key three. And

625
00:34:53,670 --> 00:34:56,230
I could spend days and months
trying to open it, or I could sit

626
00:34:56,230 --> 00:34:59,670
at the feet of Jesus, be there
for two hours, and he says, it's

627
00:34:59,670 --> 00:35:02,870
door 84. It's key 14. And I
walk up there and I'll open it up

628
00:35:02,870 --> 00:35:07,190
and go right through. What the
Lord has, He can do more in two hours

629
00:35:07,190 --> 00:35:10,670
of prayer than I can do in two
years of work. And if I don't actually

630
00:35:10,670 --> 00:35:13,790
believe that, then I'm going
to work my tail off and say, I don't

631
00:35:13,790 --> 00:35:17,710
have time to pray. But if I
believe that God has all power and

632
00:35:17,710 --> 00:35:21,420
walking in step with his
spirit and abiding with him will

633
00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:23,740
either say, don't waste my
time with things that don't matter

634
00:35:23,740 --> 00:35:26,900
because the Lord's saying, I'm
not in that, or I'll tell you what

635
00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:29,700
to do, when to do it, and
that's what I'm gonna bless, then

636
00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:32,860
it makes sense to me to abide
in him. And if the end of the day,

637
00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:36,420
people think I'm a slug that
doesn't do anything, and I don't

638
00:35:36,420 --> 00:35:39,500
ever, I'm not ever the most
successful business person, or I

639
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:41,740
don't ever win that award. I
don't ever make that money. I don't

640
00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:45,020
ever accomplish that. I've
never known beyond this small little

641
00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:48,300
place called Field and Church,
where people but no. No one knows

642
00:35:48,300 --> 00:35:51,650
my name, but. But my kids have
a daddy who loves them, who they

643
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:55,210
saw. Seek after Jesus, where
my life is not in shambles because

644
00:35:55,210 --> 00:35:58,050
I'm walking at the pace the
Spirit has for me, which is pole,

645
00:35:58,050 --> 00:36:02,490
pole. Slowly, slowly. Walk at
my pace, slowly. Be with me. Find

646
00:36:02,490 --> 00:36:07,530
delight in me. If I lose all
those things and I gain the world,

647
00:36:07,690 --> 00:36:11,210
I've lost my Soul. And so
that's where I think at the end of

648
00:36:11,210 --> 00:36:14,090
the day, you're going to make
time for what matters. And if you

649
00:36:14,090 --> 00:36:18,850
have faith to believe that all
the reward is in Jesus, not what

650
00:36:18,850 --> 00:36:21,170
you get from Jesus, then
you're going to abide with him. Yeah,

651
00:36:21,170 --> 00:36:21,690
that's good.

652
00:36:21,690 --> 00:36:24,210
Yeah. I love that you're
saying that. I'm going to pull up

653
00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:30,930
a verse. So the Lord has been
bringing Psalm 73, like, the last

654
00:36:30,930 --> 00:36:33,930
couple days. And I'm not going
to lie to you, I'm going to confess,

655
00:36:33,930 --> 00:36:40,210
like, maybe, like the last
couple weeks, my. Like, I've just

656
00:36:40,210 --> 00:36:42,770
been really wrestling with a
lot of things like discouragement

657
00:36:42,770 --> 00:36:47,340
or, you know, whatever have
you. And my prayer time was, you

658
00:36:47,340 --> 00:36:50,780
know, reflecting that, like,
was my. My prayer time was a reflection

659
00:36:50,780 --> 00:36:53,900
of my discouragement as
opposed to my prayer time, you know,

660
00:36:54,220 --> 00:36:57,820
helping the Lord speak to my
discouragement. And so which is usually

661
00:36:57,820 --> 00:36:59,940
a formula that I think is
pretty common for a lot of people

662
00:36:59,940 --> 00:37:04,940
to fall into. And the Lord
convicted me and challenged me. And

663
00:37:05,580 --> 00:37:12,850
there was a. There's a verse
in Psalm 73 that talks about when

664
00:37:12,850 --> 00:37:16,290
my heart was grieved and my
spirit embittered. I was senseless

665
00:37:16,290 --> 00:37:19,010
and ignorant, and I was a
brute beast before you, yet I am

666
00:37:19,010 --> 00:37:21,890
always with you. You hold me
by my right hand, and you guide me

667
00:37:21,890 --> 00:37:24,490
with your counsel, and
afterward you will take me into glory.

668
00:37:25,210 --> 00:37:28,410
Whom have I in heaven but you
and earth has nothing that I desire

669
00:37:28,410 --> 00:37:31,450
besides you. And my flesh and
my heart may fail, but God is my

670
00:37:31,450 --> 00:37:34,730
strength of my heart and my
portion forever. And that just, like,

671
00:37:34,730 --> 00:37:39,430
really spoke to me. And the
Lord used that to, like, you know,

672
00:37:39,430 --> 00:37:43,630
speak so much light and
refreshment to my spirit. But it's

673
00:37:43,630 --> 00:37:47,790
like, I could have gone to,
you know, had 75 sessions of counseling,

674
00:37:47,790 --> 00:37:50,270
could have spent all these
times doing the fun things that I,

675
00:37:50,270 --> 00:37:53,790
like, could have spent seven
days straight of sleep. But the Lord

676
00:37:53,790 --> 00:37:57,830
was able to use His Word, and
he spoke through, like, to me through

677
00:37:57,830 --> 00:38:00,070
His Word. And that was only
something that I was able to give

678
00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:03,190
because I made time and just
even thinking about it, like, you

679
00:38:03,190 --> 00:38:05,550
know, no one has to put a gun
to my head for me to spend time with

680
00:38:05,550 --> 00:38:09,490
Carlos, my husband. Like, no
one has to do that. Like, no one

681
00:38:09,490 --> 00:38:13,210
has to force me or, like,
shove me into spending time with

682
00:38:13,210 --> 00:38:17,010
him. I love it because I love
him. I love his company. Like, he,

683
00:38:17,330 --> 00:38:20,730
you know, refreshes me and
encourages me, and he loves me. And

684
00:38:20,730 --> 00:38:24,690
I have no doubt in that. Like,
I'm confident in that love. And so

685
00:38:24,930 --> 00:38:28,210
I just. I Think it. I think
the Lord has also had me, like, speak

686
00:38:28,210 --> 00:38:31,610
to that or just the thought
of, like, anything good in me is

687
00:38:31,610 --> 00:38:34,940
a reflection of the Lord, and
anything good in Carlos is a reflection

688
00:38:34,940 --> 00:38:38,460
of the Lord. And so just even
like, that, I don't. I don't have

689
00:38:38,460 --> 00:38:41,740
to schedule time with Carlos.
Like, it just comes naturally, but

690
00:38:41,740 --> 00:38:44,460
it's also because I fight for
it and because I look for pockets

691
00:38:44,460 --> 00:38:48,780
for it. But do. Does my time
with the Lord reflect that? Like,

692
00:38:48,780 --> 00:38:51,620
does it reflect the same level
of confidence in that love that he

693
00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:55,780
has for me? Does it reflect
that same level of humility that

694
00:38:55,780 --> 00:38:58,660
I know that I need that time
with him? Like, I don't know. And

695
00:38:58,660 --> 00:38:59,980
so I've just been really
wrestling with that.

696
00:38:59,980 --> 00:39:02,660
Yeah, I'm just. I'm super
curious because you said something

697
00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:06,840
that sparked my. My mind,
like, which one comes first, the

698
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:10,160
chicken or the egg? Is it
discouragement that leads to prayerlessness?

699
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,200
Is it prayerlessness that
leads to discouragement? Obviously,

700
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:17,120
it's a bit of both, but, like,
as people wrestle with that, like,

701
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:18,800
what. What drives what.

702
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,600
For me, it's always
prayerlessness before the discouragement,

703
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:26,480
because I think the. It's
almost like the Lord is able to catch.

704
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,120
To stop that wheel before it
gets enough momentum to go, like,

705
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,600
going down the hill. And so
for me, it's always like, I'm not

706
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,600
being. I'm not fighting for
what's important. And, like, I've

707
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:43,840
let my schedule speak to my
time. And so. And then I think because

708
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:47,240
of prayerlessness,
discouragement is easier because,

709
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:51,600
you know, the. You know, the.
I'm just. I'm just thinking of the

710
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,320
parable of, like, the seeds
that get planted on. And I know that

711
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,240
that's referencing to
salvation, but that's just the visual

712
00:39:56,240 --> 00:39:59,720
that I have about, like, that,
you know, the sun comes and scorches

713
00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:03,320
it before it's able to take
take root. And, you know, birds come

714
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,760
and, like, take the seeds
away. And so, like, there's. There's.

715
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:09,700
Things are quicker to
discourage me because my life hasn't

716
00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:13,700
been. I'm not giving the Lord
time or the space to speak to that.

717
00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:18,260
And then the moment when I do,
there's some times where I am discouraged,

718
00:40:18,260 --> 00:40:22,100
and I'm sharing certain things
with him. Like, I think, for example,

719
00:40:22,180 --> 00:40:24,780
the most recent discouragement
that I've been facing is I had an

720
00:40:24,780 --> 00:40:30,020
emergency surgery two months
ago, and it was crazy. Like, it.

721
00:40:30,020 --> 00:40:32,820
You know, it just happened so
fast, and I feel like I had already.

722
00:40:32,900 --> 00:40:35,580
I had just gone to a place of,
like, okay, my health is great. Like,

723
00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:39,140
Okay. I feel so much better
now. And then, like, boom, Shocking.

724
00:40:39,220 --> 00:40:43,420
And then I feel like also, the
Lord tailored it for it to be an

725
00:40:43,420 --> 00:40:48,060
emergency, like, because I had
a CAT scan on Wednesday, and they

726
00:40:48,060 --> 00:40:50,060
were like, everything looks
good. You're awesome. Like, everything's

727
00:40:50,060 --> 00:40:52,900
perfect. And then Friday, I'm
in the emergency room, and so it's

728
00:40:52,900 --> 00:40:56,820
just, like. It was just. It
was perfect, like, to be set aside

729
00:40:56,820 --> 00:40:59,620
as, like, a freak accident.
Like, the doctors couldn't explain

730
00:40:59,620 --> 00:41:02,620
it. Nothing. And so I had the
surgery, and then, you know, a mission

731
00:41:02,620 --> 00:41:05,680
trip that we've been, you
know, prepared and excited for for

732
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:10,120
over a year. Couldn't go to
that. You know, a lot of fun things

733
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,520
I couldn't step into. And it
was super discouraging. And I was

734
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,840
just like, God, like, why?
Like, what am I doing wrong? Like,

735
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:22,120
what. What is happening? Like,
and so there was just. I think a

736
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,120
lot of discouragement came
from that because I was just like,

737
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,240
I'm doing everything right,
and yet the things are still, like,

738
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:31,000
I'm treating. I feel like I'm
the healthiest I've ever been, but

739
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,000
my body doesn't seem to know
that it still is. Like, oh, yeah,

740
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,870
the. This is. This is the time
for everything to be hard. And so

741
00:41:38,190 --> 00:41:40,670
I think that was a lot of
discouragement, which is super valid.

742
00:41:40,670 --> 00:41:43,270
And I feel like a lot of
people have illnesses, like, you

743
00:41:43,270 --> 00:41:45,950
know, ailments, whatever it
might be. Like, there's just a lot

744
00:41:45,950 --> 00:41:48,510
of things that feel like
they're out of your control. And

745
00:41:48,670 --> 00:41:52,470
I think the Lord has spoken to
it before, and he just. I needed

746
00:41:52,470 --> 00:41:57,110
to give him space to remind me
of that. I don't require a healthy

747
00:41:57,110 --> 00:42:02,240
body for him to still be good.
And I don't, like, he can be still

748
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:07,760
a healer and not heal me. And
that is something that I continuously

749
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:11,440
had to wrestle with. But
again, like, my portion is not a

750
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,040
healthy body. I'm not entitled
to that. I'm not entitled to, you

751
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:18,520
know, any of these things. The
Lord is my portion forever, and he's

752
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,440
the strength of my heart. And
so, like, he. Like, it was just like

753
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:25,320
this. You know, he spoke to me
so clearly through his word. And

754
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:28,400
I've read that song before,
like, and it was crazy. Is that those.

755
00:42:28,690 --> 00:42:31,610
Those verses I had previously
underlined and highlighted and put

756
00:42:31,610 --> 00:42:35,170
notes on the side, but reading
it in that mindset that I was in

757
00:42:35,330 --> 00:42:39,090
spoke to me completely
different. And so, yeah, I don't

758
00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:41,090
even remember where we were
before this conversation.

759
00:42:42,130 --> 00:42:42,770
What do you think?

760
00:42:42,770 --> 00:42:47,650
Well, sorry, but on that note,
as soon as she was reading that passage,

761
00:42:47,890 --> 00:42:51,810
it reminded me of a song. Do
you know the song? Which one? God

762
00:42:51,810 --> 00:42:56,430
is the strength of my heart.
God is the strength.

763
00:42:56,830 --> 00:42:57,230
No.

764
00:42:57,310 --> 00:42:58,870
Hey, sorry, I'm old.

765
00:42:58,870 --> 00:42:59,790
Is that the chorus?

766
00:42:59,870 --> 00:43:01,550
Yeah, it's like 90s or something.

767
00:43:01,630 --> 00:43:03,390
Maybe a Matt Hunter, like,
wave one.

768
00:43:05,310 --> 00:43:08,270
But it was like, I don't know
in that.

769
00:43:08,910 --> 00:43:09,310
It.

770
00:43:09,390 --> 00:43:12,430
First of all, that's one. One
thing, it just reminded me so much

771
00:43:12,430 --> 00:43:18,350
of that song. But secondly, I
think for me, I do the same. Honestly,

772
00:43:18,350 --> 00:43:21,720
I learned it from you and just
the journey that you've been on.

773
00:43:21,720 --> 00:43:26,760
Journaling. And if I go back
in my journaling and if I look at

774
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,080
the dates and I look at the
times that I was with the Lord, I

775
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,760
do notice a trend that when I
let the busyness of life, when I

776
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:38,960
let really, really. It's time.
It is time. It's like I am pretty

777
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,640
disciplined as well. Like,
morning times are my time that I

778
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:45,520
meet with the Lord. Like, I do
it before our kids get up. And in

779
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:52,440
the seasons that I don't keep
that discipline up is the moments

780
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:57,080
where I find myself
struggling, angry at God, bitter

781
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:02,000
like, but coincides with a lot
of things that I see in my life that.

782
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:07,720
Where either I'm discouraged
or I'm just. Yeah, that's what I'm

783
00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:09,360
discovering of myself. So I just.

784
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:12,320
I feel like it's. It's like
there's a cyclical side to it. So

785
00:44:12,970 --> 00:44:16,370
little bit of discouragement
makes me less inclined to pray, and

786
00:44:16,370 --> 00:44:19,650
so I don't. Which lets
discouragement increase. And so it

787
00:44:19,650 --> 00:44:22,050
starts off small and it does
this and it's bigger and bigger and

788
00:44:22,050 --> 00:44:24,290
bigger and bigger, and then
it's spiraling out of control.

789
00:44:24,290 --> 00:44:26,850
It's just. The picture that I
have is just someone throwing a tire

790
00:44:26,850 --> 00:44:29,570
down a mountain. Like, it's
like, it's already big, it's already

791
00:44:29,570 --> 00:44:32,130
massive. It's already going to
cause some damage, like, to the.

792
00:44:32,130 --> 00:44:34,810
To the grass. But, like, when
you push it and it starts gaining

793
00:44:34,810 --> 00:44:37,250
that momentum and there's no
one there to stop it, no one's strong

794
00:44:37,250 --> 00:44:39,870
enough to stop it, it's just
going to keep going. And by the time

795
00:44:39,870 --> 00:44:42,910
it reaches the bottom, like,
rfp, whoever's at the bottom of that

796
00:44:42,910 --> 00:44:43,710
mountain, you know, like.

797
00:44:43,710 --> 00:44:44,430
Yeah. Yeah.

798
00:44:44,750 --> 00:44:45,710
So what's been your.

799
00:44:46,270 --> 00:44:46,590
If.

800
00:44:46,590 --> 00:44:50,990
If that's the cycle for you,
what has been the. That's stopping

801
00:44:50,990 --> 00:44:51,190
us?

802
00:44:51,190 --> 00:44:53,310
Well, that's what I was going
to. I'm glad you brought it back

803
00:44:53,310 --> 00:44:55,910
up because you. You mentioned
something. I think people sometimes

804
00:44:55,910 --> 00:44:58,990
take it the wrong way. Like, I
don't. I don't have to schedule time

805
00:44:58,990 --> 00:45:01,190
with Carlos because, like,
I'm. I'm going to be with him. And

806
00:45:01,190 --> 00:45:03,670
so people can conclude I
shouldn't have to schedule time with

807
00:45:03,670 --> 00:45:07,650
God because, you know,
obviously. So I got six kids, I got

808
00:45:07,650 --> 00:45:11,250
a busy life. I have to
schedule time with my wife. If I

809
00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:16,930
don't, we will not survive the
craziness of life. And so we schedule

810
00:45:16,930 --> 00:45:22,890
time, and we do it often. And
it's this weird. Is my wife my best

811
00:45:22,890 --> 00:45:27,090
friend and that's why I want
to spend time with her, or is she

812
00:45:27,090 --> 00:45:30,730
my best friend because I have
spent so much time with her? You

813
00:45:30,730 --> 00:45:32,490
know, obviously there's a bit
of both, but I think it's more the

814
00:45:32,490 --> 00:45:35,290
latter. Like, I think she has
become my best friend more and more

815
00:45:35,290 --> 00:45:38,790
because I spend so much time
with her. And we've grown so familiar,

816
00:45:38,790 --> 00:45:41,590
and we've been through so much
together, and we love each other.

817
00:45:41,990 --> 00:45:46,550
And so I think the exact same
thing is true with God. Like, I have

818
00:45:46,550 --> 00:45:52,470
never, ever been more desirous
of his presence, more in love with

819
00:45:52,470 --> 00:45:58,550
him as the infinite one, more
inclined to. Like, I go on vacation,

820
00:45:58,550 --> 00:46:00,870
we're in the beach, and I'm
gonna wake up before everybody else,

821
00:46:00,870 --> 00:46:02,630
and I'm gonna spend a couple
of hours with the Lord before my

822
00:46:02,630 --> 00:46:05,640
kids even wake up. And I could
sleep in. I don't want to sleep.

823
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,520
It's not like I'm, like, I'm
going to be super disciplined, Jason.

824
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,840
I'm going to, like, I want.
I'm hungry to get up and be with

825
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,280
the Lord. And I think it's
because I've been with him for hours

826
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:14,640
and hours every day, and he
gets more and more glorious the more

827
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,880
time I spend with Him. So,
like, it's not even discipline for

828
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:21,280
me right now. And I'm a
disciplined person. It's desire.

829
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,600
It's yearning. Like, I'm. I
get my happiest place. I was journaling

830
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,520
about this this morning. My
happiest place in the world is my

831
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:32,650
back porch when I'm journaling
and I'm talking to the Lord And I'm

832
00:46:32,650 --> 00:46:34,970
a social person. I like being
around people, and that's me and

833
00:46:34,970 --> 00:46:40,930
the Lord alone. And I think
it's because that has been the structure

834
00:46:40,930 --> 00:46:43,690
early on. It's a discipline
every day I'm not going to miss.

835
00:46:43,930 --> 00:46:46,690
And then it becomes desire.
And so I think because of that, the

836
00:46:46,690 --> 00:46:49,570
snowball doesn't, like, take
down the mountain and get huge, or

837
00:46:49,570 --> 00:46:52,410
the tire doesn't. It's stopped
immediately because I am going to

838
00:46:52,410 --> 00:46:53,770
be with the Lord every
Morning, no matter what.

839
00:46:53,770 --> 00:46:57,130
Yeah. I have a follow up
question to that. That's super great.

840
00:46:57,130 --> 00:47:01,590
And I agree. I think you did
me and Carlos's premarital. One of

841
00:47:01,590 --> 00:47:04,750
the things that you said was
like, have a weekly date night, like,

842
00:47:04,750 --> 00:47:07,390
you know, make sure that you
make time, that you're protective

843
00:47:07,390 --> 00:47:11,510
of it. And I think that I
agree. And like, so I think just

844
00:47:11,510 --> 00:47:17,630
the built in rhythms of like,
this is the slot that I am going

845
00:47:17,630 --> 00:47:22,670
to be super protective of and
I'm not going to allow anything to

846
00:47:22,670 --> 00:47:25,550
come in between that. And so I
think that's super important. Does

847
00:47:25,550 --> 00:47:28,380
it have to be in the morning?
Can it be at night? Can it, what

848
00:47:28,380 --> 00:47:31,220
about like, can you be
driving? Or like, can it be at the

849
00:47:31,220 --> 00:47:34,500
gym when you're cooking? Like,
does it have to be like I had this

850
00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:37,580
specific chair, the specific
corner, and I think for some people

851
00:47:37,580 --> 00:47:40,220
that works. But does it have
to look like that.

852
00:47:41,980 --> 00:47:46,900
Excel. I'm going to tell you
my thoughts on that. And I do not

853
00:47:46,900 --> 00:47:52,980
represent filler church when I
say this. So here's, here's my gut

854
00:47:52,980 --> 00:47:57,940
reaction to it. I think people
look for the lowest threshold that

855
00:47:57,940 --> 00:48:01,460
they have to do to say, am I
being intimate with you, God? It's

856
00:48:01,460 --> 00:48:04,460
like obedience. What's the
lowest amount? I have to obey to

857
00:48:04,540 --> 00:48:07,260
be right with you so I can be
blessed by you. And I'm looking for

858
00:48:07,260 --> 00:48:11,140
that threshold. And I don't
think that honors God if the goal

859
00:48:11,140 --> 00:48:16,380
is t I m e and lingering with
him. I don't think you can be driving

860
00:48:16,380 --> 00:48:18,860
in the car and say, I have a
vibrant prayer life. I don't think

861
00:48:18,860 --> 00:48:22,070
it could be an on the go
relationship with God and he's honored

862
00:48:22,070 --> 00:48:26,830
by it. And I think, and I'm
getting real practical here, I do

863
00:48:26,830 --> 00:48:29,230
a lot of marital counseling
and it's one of the heaviest things

864
00:48:29,230 --> 00:48:33,750
I do. And too often I see a
couple who try to do their marriage

865
00:48:33,750 --> 00:48:37,469
in the busyness of life. And
they said, well, as we go to games,

866
00:48:37,470 --> 00:48:39,990
as we do this, as we do that,
we're together so we're fine. And

867
00:48:39,990 --> 00:48:43,230
they didn't ever say no, it's
just you and me, baby. We're going

868
00:48:43,230 --> 00:48:46,550
to spend time, we're going to
connect. It's not because of anything

869
00:48:46,550 --> 00:48:51,880
else. It's just you and me.
And it leads to brokenness and divorce.

870
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:55,680
And I think the exact same
thing is true with God. If we try

871
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,400
to shove God into our already
busy life and just come with me,

872
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,960
God, as I go to work, as I do
this, as I do that, and that's All

873
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:07,960
I need then I don't think that
it will produce the lingering that

874
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,720
honors the Lord. Now, whether
it needs to be the morning or the

875
00:49:10,720 --> 00:49:15,560
nighttime, I hear that people
are wired differently, and I guess

876
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,910
I believe it, but, you know, I.

877
00:49:18,910 --> 00:49:20,670
Hear that people are wired.

878
00:49:20,990 --> 00:49:25,950
I struggle to believe it, but,
you know, I think the best time,

879
00:49:26,750 --> 00:49:29,870
I think the. The greatest
would be in the morning. I linger

880
00:49:29,870 --> 00:49:32,550
with him. In the midday, I
linger with him. In the afternoon,

881
00:49:32,550 --> 00:49:36,230
I linger with him. At the
nighttime, I linger with him. Do

882
00:49:36,230 --> 00:49:41,070
I do that? No. I still have a
lot to grow in. So could it be that

883
00:49:41,070 --> 00:49:43,990
I've mastered the morning, but
I fell at the night? You know, it's

884
00:49:43,990 --> 00:49:47,620
possible. And so could it be
that somebody else masters the night

885
00:49:47,940 --> 00:49:51,540
and not the morning? Yeah, I
think it's possible. But to miss

886
00:49:51,540 --> 00:49:57,860
the morning, I think is a
major loss. So that's my answer.

887
00:49:58,020 --> 00:50:02,020
No. And I do agree with you. I
think also, it just kind of, yes,

888
00:50:02,020 --> 00:50:05,300
like, on the go relationships.
Like, that's just kind of like. I

889
00:50:05,300 --> 00:50:08,140
think you're speaking to the
value of that person unintentionally.

890
00:50:08,140 --> 00:50:12,090
Like, you might not be meaning
to, but I think you can pray at the

891
00:50:12,090 --> 00:50:14,810
gym. You can listen to your
podcast. You can, you know, do all

892
00:50:14,810 --> 00:50:17,050
those things, but I think
those should supplement what you

893
00:50:17,050 --> 00:50:20,530
already have in place. And so,
you know, like, me and Carlos have

894
00:50:20,530 --> 00:50:23,130
our date nights, but obviously
you can't sustain a marriage on once

895
00:50:23,130 --> 00:50:25,770
a week. And so, like, there
are. There are times where we fight

896
00:50:25,770 --> 00:50:27,850
to connect during the week
where we mainly.

897
00:50:27,850 --> 00:50:29,890
I think most of the times you
fight. I'm like, come on, let's talk

898
00:50:29,890 --> 00:50:31,850
about this stuff. Let's do
some marital counseling.

899
00:50:31,850 --> 00:50:35,010
Yeah, we schedule our fights
just to be efficient with our time.

900
00:50:36,540 --> 00:50:37,380
Anyways, next level.

901
00:50:37,380 --> 00:50:41,060
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah,
we just. We schedule that time. We

902
00:50:41,060 --> 00:50:44,460
fight for it, we prioritize
it. But, for example, like, he's

903
00:50:44,460 --> 00:50:46,740
obsessed with the gym. He's
super disciplined. He's a lot like

904
00:50:46,740 --> 00:50:48,540
you in that. Like, I just.

905
00:50:48,540 --> 00:50:49,420
He's not obsessed.

906
00:50:51,020 --> 00:50:55,140
He is so disciplined. It's,
like, so frustrating sometimes. And,

907
00:50:55,140 --> 00:50:57,780
like, he loves going to the
gym. Like, it's like, one of the

908
00:50:57,780 --> 00:51:00,300
things that he enjoys. He.
It's refreshing to him. You have

909
00:51:00,300 --> 00:51:03,980
to drag me, like, to the gym,
and it's a whole thing. And I remember

910
00:51:03,980 --> 00:51:06,340
one time early on when we were
getting married, I was like, why

911
00:51:06,340 --> 00:51:08,560
do you always want me to go to
the gym with you? Like, you just

912
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,840
go. And he was like, you're.
You don't have to come. But, like,

913
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:15,440
you're my wife. And I. I enjoy
your company. And so, like, I want

914
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,360
you to come with me. And. And
that just kind of changed your perspective

915
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:21,400
for me. Like, I was like, oh,
Like, I. I didn't realize that it

916
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,920
was also like, yeah, I'm going
to go to the gym. That's super great.

917
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:28,480
But a bonus is that I get to
spend time with you and my wife and,

918
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:30,840
like, you know, get. We get to
talk as we're doing it. And so, I

919
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:31,080
don't know.

920
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:34,480
You have no idea, though, how
good an illustration of prayer that

921
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:38,520
is, because the Father is
saying, hey, I'm doing something

922
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:41,520
and I just want you to come
join me. I'm saving that person.

923
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,040
And I just want you to be with
me while I'm doing. Just come with

924
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,520
me right now. You don't have
to. I mean, I'll save them without

925
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:49,120
you, but I'm inviting you
because I love you and I want to

926
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:53,360
be with you. Or I'm doing this
ministry, I'm on this mission trip

927
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,640
over here, and I just delight.
I want you to come with me. Like,

928
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,480
that's so much a prayer. You
discover what the heart of the Father

929
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:02,700
is and you see him going,
come, come sit in my lap, and then

930
00:52:02,700 --> 00:52:05,340
come with me as I go over here
and do this. And it really is a picture

931
00:52:05,340 --> 00:52:06,060
of how the Father works.

932
00:52:06,060 --> 00:52:09,100
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. And
so I think all those things, like,

933
00:52:09,100 --> 00:52:12,700
your prayer life shouldn't be.
You shouldn't cater your prayer life

934
00:52:12,700 --> 00:52:16,820
to your schedule. I think it,
like, your schedule needs to reflect

935
00:52:16,899 --> 00:52:19,380
your already established
prayer time. And this is something

936
00:52:19,380 --> 00:52:21,260
that I'm, like, still
developing and, like, speaking to

937
00:52:21,260 --> 00:52:24,540
myself. And again, like, as I
can see, the continuous correlations

938
00:52:24,540 --> 00:52:27,820
of, like, oh, so that's when I
started skipping a few journaling

939
00:52:27,820 --> 00:52:29,980
days or like, and then that's
whenever these things, you know,

940
00:52:29,980 --> 00:52:34,920
like, I, I think. I think
there's no formula. I don't. I mean,

941
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,440
you can, you can speak to
that, but, like, there's. I. To me,

942
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:41,560
there's no formula to it. But
I think humility, there always needs

943
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:44,360
to be a humility component to
it, because it's like I'm going before

944
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,919
the sovereign God of the
universe, like the Creator of the

945
00:52:46,919 --> 00:52:50,960
universe, like, and I'm going
before him because Christ has made

946
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,680
a way for me to go before him.
And so I think there's a humility

947
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:57,200
aspect. And so even, you know,
with those who are discouraged, like,

948
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:59,600
you know, if you haven't had a
prayer time in months because of

949
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:02,400
this or this, or you're angry
with God, or whatever the case may

950
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,820
be. I think there is a way to
come back from that. You know, like,

951
00:53:05,820 --> 00:53:09,140
there is genuine humility and
repentance of, like, acknowledging

952
00:53:09,140 --> 00:53:12,820
like, lord, I have prioritized
the cares of this world over you.

953
00:53:12,820 --> 00:53:16,580
I have prioritized my own
pride before you. Like, I have, like.

954
00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:19,940
But just own up to it, you
know, like, own up to it, repent.

955
00:53:19,940 --> 00:53:25,100
And I don't know, I've just.
I've found the sweetness of his grace

956
00:53:25,100 --> 00:53:29,950
after repentance to be able to
carry, you know, momentum towards

957
00:53:30,110 --> 00:53:32,470
what he's doing. And so, I
don't know, I've just really enjoyed

958
00:53:32,470 --> 00:53:32,670
that.

959
00:53:32,670 --> 00:53:36,870
You know, I think too. I think
there are. There are people I. I

960
00:53:36,870 --> 00:53:39,750
see and then I just go, like,
you have some kind of connection

961
00:53:39,750 --> 00:53:45,110
with God that I. I want and
speed dial it. It inspires me to

962
00:53:45,110 --> 00:53:48,230
want more of that. And I do
think for. For those who might be,

963
00:53:48,230 --> 00:53:51,510
you know, anybody who's going,
like, yeah, man, I'm what y' all

964
00:53:51,510 --> 00:53:54,110
talking about? That's like
light years ahead. I don't even know.

965
00:53:54,110 --> 00:53:59,700
But. But to hear the
excitement of our voice in being

966
00:53:59,780 --> 00:54:03,340
with the Lord, I would pray
would make somebody feel like I want

967
00:54:03,340 --> 00:54:07,700
that. And so if I do have to
humble myself and come before God

968
00:54:07,700 --> 00:54:11,540
and say, testing the micro. Is
this thing on God? Are you listening

969
00:54:12,340 --> 00:54:15,980
to Try it out and figure it
out. But if the end of that is that

970
00:54:15,980 --> 00:54:19,420
kind of intimacy that you're
experiencing, then I want it. I think

971
00:54:19,420 --> 00:54:23,950
there's a hunger that being
around the right people, reading

972
00:54:23,950 --> 00:54:25,830
the right kinds of books,
doing the right kinds of things,

973
00:54:25,910 --> 00:54:30,950
it just exposes the more that
people are missing. And I think if

974
00:54:30,950 --> 00:54:34,950
people would allow that to
happen, they would say, I'm gonna

975
00:54:35,110 --> 00:54:38,110
dust off the Bible, open it
up, seek the Lord. I'm gonna make

976
00:54:38,110 --> 00:54:40,710
some time. I'll try this whole
journaling thing. I don't know if

977
00:54:40,710 --> 00:54:44,150
this is working or not, but I
want what you got. And so I'm after

978
00:54:44,150 --> 00:54:47,310
it. And so that's my prayer
too, that it would whet the appetite

979
00:54:47,310 --> 00:54:47,710
of some.

980
00:54:47,710 --> 00:54:48,950
I agree. I agree.

981
00:54:49,150 --> 00:54:49,550
Love there.

982
00:54:49,630 --> 00:54:54,870
You have your Bible here. Is
there any, you know, and obviously

983
00:54:54,870 --> 00:54:57,470
so much of scripture is
pointing to prayer, but is there

984
00:54:57,470 --> 00:55:01,990
any, like, specific, you know,
chapter or verse or even book of

985
00:55:01,990 --> 00:55:05,150
the Bible that you feel has
really been. Was formative in the

986
00:55:05,150 --> 00:55:08,390
early days of developing, you
know, just kind of the culture of

987
00:55:08,390 --> 00:55:10,830
prayer that we're, you know,
we have developed and we're continuing

988
00:55:10,830 --> 00:55:13,670
to develop here at our church.
Like, is there. Is there some scripture

989
00:55:13,670 --> 00:55:17,200
that you, you know, Love to
reread over and over.

990
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:22,800
Well, I mean, Ephesians has
become like one of the definitive

991
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:26,720
books of the Bible to define
at a season. It's where it's the

992
00:55:26,720 --> 00:55:29,040
first book that I memorized.
Well, no, that's not true. I memorized

993
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:31,680
Jonah and then forgot it just
as quickly as I memorized Jonah.

994
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,400
Jonah. And then, yeah, when we
were preaching through Jonah, I was

995
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,960
like, ah, it's a little four
chapter, trying to memorize that.

996
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:43,820
But. And then my break. And so
I've tried new techniques now, but

997
00:55:44,220 --> 00:55:47,020
when I get to the book of
Ephesians, there's just so much in

998
00:55:47,020 --> 00:55:52,980
there. But obviously, the idea
of spiritual warfare and what that

999
00:55:52,980 --> 00:55:59,340
is, what it really is, will
feed prayer like nothing else. But

1000
00:56:00,460 --> 00:56:03,020
I could memorize it, but I'm
trying not to show off, honestly.

1001
00:56:03,900 --> 00:56:06,540
So finally, be strong in the
Lord, in the strength of his might.

1002
00:56:06,540 --> 00:56:09,600
Put on the whole arm. Yeah,
okay. But put on the whole armor

1003
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:11,280
of God that you may be able to
stand against the schemes of the

1004
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:12,800
devil. If we don't wrestle
against flesh and blood, against

1005
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,920
the rulers, against the
authorities, against the cosmic powers

1006
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:18,040
of the present darkness,
against the spiritual forces of evil

1007
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:21,360
in the heavenly places. So
we're wrestling against things that

1008
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:24,720
we can't see. Not fighting
against you. I'm not fighting against

1009
00:56:24,720 --> 00:56:26,760
you, which I never would
anyway. I'm not fighting against

1010
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,200
that person who cut me off
that I want to flip off. None of

1011
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:32,840
that. I'm fighting against a
real enemy who's working in my church,

1012
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,400
in my home, in my
neighborhood, in my city, in this

1013
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:39,200
world. And so I see that. And.
But there's a little bit later on,

1014
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:43,040
you know, we focus a ton on,
like, the sword of the spear or the.

1015
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:46,840
The armor that we put on, and
we end with the. And the sword of

1016
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,960
the spirit, which is the word
of God, period. But actually, it's

1017
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:53,000
a comma. It keeps on going,
and it says, praying at all times

1018
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:57,840
in the Spirit with all prayer
and supplication. And so the whole

1019
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:03,610
thing is encapsulated in this.
I got to recognize my spiritual battle

1020
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:07,800
so I can be ready and there's
armor, but it finishes with praying

1021
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,480
at all times in the Spirit
with all prayer and supplication.

1022
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:14,400
And so really, the fight is
prayer. It's a spiritual warfare,

1023
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:21,200
and I cannot fight that with a
physical sword. Going over to 2 Corinthians,

1024
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:24,520
the divine weapons of warfare
that we have, it's prayer. Prayer

1025
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:29,600
is our divine weapon. It is
how we war. And so that one, I think,

1026
00:57:29,940 --> 00:57:33,860
keeps me, especially when I
Think about my role leading the church,

1027
00:57:34,340 --> 00:57:38,740
leading my family. If, if I'm
going to make a difference in this

1028
00:57:38,740 --> 00:57:43,060
world, it's not going to be by
preaching killer messages because

1029
00:57:43,060 --> 00:57:47,180
I'm just not good enough.
Like, I'm, I've grown better over

1030
00:57:47,180 --> 00:57:51,540
time. I'm nowhere near a
person who's going to change my city,

1031
00:57:51,540 --> 00:57:56,340
much less even my church. I,
my, my kids, they're phenomenal.

1032
00:57:56,900 --> 00:58:00,860
I can't help them in their
problems. They 95% of everything

1033
00:58:00,860 --> 00:58:03,500
in their life takes place
outside of me being right there with

1034
00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:08,340
them. But I can war on their
behalf and I can pray in the spirit

1035
00:58:08,340 --> 00:58:11,220
at all times with prayer and
supplication. And things can happen

1036
00:58:11,220 --> 00:58:13,660
in my kid's life, in my
church's life, in my community's

1037
00:58:13,660 --> 00:58:16,460
life, because I'm crying out
to God, doors are being unlocked,

1038
00:58:16,460 --> 00:58:19,980
things are happening. And so
that gets me fired up about what

1039
00:58:19,980 --> 00:58:23,420
could happen when I sit and
the presence of the Lord. And I'm

1040
00:58:23,420 --> 00:58:25,540
so delighted to be in his
presence. And then he says, all right,

1041
00:58:25,540 --> 00:58:28,380
I want you to pray on this.
I'm prompting you to be a part of

1042
00:58:28,380 --> 00:58:30,420
this. I want you to war on
this. And then I do that. And then

1043
00:58:30,420 --> 00:58:34,540
I watch him open doors. And y'
all know this. Like in our church

1044
00:58:34,540 --> 00:58:39,020
right now, we are seeing a
sustained multi year move of God,

1045
00:58:39,420 --> 00:58:41,860
of people who are coming to
faith in Jesus Christ and are getting

1046
00:58:41,860 --> 00:58:46,020
baptized. And I have never in
my life felt like more of an evangelist

1047
00:58:46,020 --> 00:58:49,620
than I do right now. And I
have never felt like less of an evangelist

1048
00:58:49,620 --> 00:58:52,980
than all the years up to when
we started, when I started my prayer

1049
00:58:52,980 --> 00:58:56,840
journey. I've always been a
Bible teacher. I'll teach you the

1050
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,320
word of God and hopefully I'll
give you some nuggets and you'll

1051
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,040
be like, wow, man, I hadn't
thought about it that way. That's

1052
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:05,240
about it. And given an
invitation at the end, I'm like,

1053
00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:07,640
I know none of y' all want to
receive Jesus, but like, if you want

1054
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:09,360
to, you can go to the
hospitality room, whatever. Like,

1055
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:14,640
I'm just not expecting at all.
And I start praying and I start praying

1056
00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:17,240
bold prayers, expectant
prayers, call the church together.

1057
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,530
And we start praying. And y'
all remember, like we, we started

1058
00:59:19,610 --> 00:59:23,290
weekly prayer gatherings and
then we opened up baptism on Easter

1059
00:59:23,290 --> 00:59:25,090
Sunday. And then the
floodgates just going. It hadn't

1060
00:59:25,090 --> 00:59:27,650
stopped like every Sunday
since then. That was three and a

1061
00:59:27,650 --> 00:59:31,970
half years ago. And it's just
this wild ride now of every time

1062
00:59:31,970 --> 00:59:33,850
I stand in the pulpit zur,
you're going to be coming to the

1063
00:59:33,850 --> 00:59:36,530
pulpit and you're going to be
the same way, man. Like, I'm. My

1064
00:59:36,530 --> 00:59:39,210
message could be as mediocre
as possible. We've been praying.

1065
00:59:39,210 --> 00:59:42,290
The saints have been praying.
And so I'm fully expecting some people

1066
00:59:42,290 --> 00:59:44,250
to come down, fall on their
knees and say, I'm ready for King

1067
00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:49,000
Jesus. Because it's a divine
war with divine weapons. And we're

1068
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,160
praying at all times in the
spirit, and that's the way we fight

1069
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:55,400
the enemy in his darkness. And
so I just, like, that gets me saying,

1070
00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:57,200
it's this or nothing, God.

1071
00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:00,799
Yeah, yeah. And that gets me
fired up. Because you said you get

1072
01:00:00,799 --> 01:00:04,760
fired up, but hearing it and
being part of it has gotten me fired

1073
01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:08,160
up. And just maybe you could
just speak a little bit into this.

1074
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:11,640
Like, I know we maybe
mentioned it on a Sunday morning

1075
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:14,600
at the end when we're
encouraging, hey, we got prayer gathering

1076
01:00:14,890 --> 01:00:18,770
this Wednesday. We'd love to
see you there. And maybe the ratio

1077
01:00:18,770 --> 01:00:21,530
of people that come on a
Sunday morning but don't get to experience

1078
01:00:21,610 --> 01:00:24,890
what we're experiencing on a
Wednesday night, like, maybe right

1079
01:00:24,890 --> 01:00:29,210
now is a platform to speak to
them, just to say maybe. I don't

1080
01:00:29,210 --> 01:00:32,010
encourage them, draw some
excitement in them for what God can

1081
01:00:32,010 --> 01:00:33,770
do in our prayer gatherings.

1082
01:00:34,010 --> 01:00:37,530
I love the way the book of
Revelation talks about prayer. You

1083
01:00:37,530 --> 01:00:41,210
know, the prayers of the
saints fill up bowls in the heavens.

1084
01:00:41,210 --> 01:00:44,250
And he looked in the bowl and
that bowl is being poured out, and

1085
01:00:44,250 --> 01:00:47,740
he says, what is that? That's
the prayers of the saints. And so

1086
01:00:49,340 --> 01:00:57,180
I'm not a scientist, but my
guess would be the more prayers that

1087
01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:01,500
are lifted, the quicker the
bowl. Like, they're like little drops

1088
01:01:01,500 --> 01:01:04,020
from a droplet. You know, you
got a bowl, but drop, drop, drop,

1089
01:01:04,020 --> 01:01:04,540
drop, drop.

1090
01:01:04,540 --> 01:01:05,260
At the water park.

1091
01:01:05,260 --> 01:01:09,100
Yeah, yeah. If you got 500
people going, drop, drop, drop, it

1092
01:01:09,100 --> 01:01:12,940
just fills up 500 times
faster. If you got 5,000 people praying,

1093
01:01:12,940 --> 01:01:16,220
it fills up 5,000 times
faster. I don't know if it works,

1094
01:01:16,220 --> 01:01:20,500
like, exactly that ratio, but
the things that God is doing right

1095
01:01:20,500 --> 01:01:24,060
now, with 15 to 20% of our
church showing up on wisdom not to

1096
01:01:24,060 --> 01:01:28,100
pray, what would happen if 50
to 75% of our church showed up to

1097
01:01:28,100 --> 01:01:33,380
pray? I genuinely believe it'd
be 4 to 5x what we were seeing. And

1098
01:01:34,660 --> 01:01:40,380
I think what people don't
realize is one hell itself is fighting

1099
01:01:40,380 --> 01:01:42,300
and gets people coming to
prayer gatherings. And the moment

1100
01:01:42,300 --> 01:01:45,750
you recognize that, the moment
you say, I'm not going to let hell

1101
01:01:45,750 --> 01:01:51,950
win. And so, yep, I'm feeling
busy. I got a headache. I got this

1102
01:01:51,950 --> 01:01:54,870
Thing coming up. I'm just not
feeling great, and I'm not going.

1103
01:01:56,310 --> 01:01:58,990
If you recognize that that's
the ploy of the enemy, because the

1104
01:01:58,990 --> 01:02:01,710
enemy's smart enough to be
scared of a praying church. And so

1105
01:02:01,710 --> 01:02:04,390
he's going to do everything he
can to get people not to pray. That's

1106
01:02:04,390 --> 01:02:06,430
when we get to spit in the
face of the enemy and go, I'm going

1107
01:02:06,430 --> 01:02:09,070
to prayer. Because obviously
he's scared of me being here. And

1108
01:02:09,070 --> 01:02:12,560
then we go, and we don't
realize, like, week after week, when

1109
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:16,960
I confess and God heals, it
keeps that tire from going down the

1110
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,240
mountain, because I'm sitting
there going, all right, I'm confessing.

1111
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:21,800
This is an unbelief that I
have in me that leads me to deal

1112
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:24,720
with this so that it doesn't
control my life anymore. And so I'm

1113
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:28,320
receiving from that moment.
I'm now experiencing the prayers

1114
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:32,160
of the saints, and then I'm
moving forward. And I'm a cause,

1115
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:35,560
through prayer, of the move of
God, because I'm filling the bowls,

1116
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:40,010
and that bowl is pouring out
upon the church. And so. And I. I

1117
01:02:40,010 --> 01:02:44,290
mean, I just. As a pastor, I'm
begging people, don't. Don't let

1118
01:02:44,290 --> 01:02:47,810
the enemy win. Come and pray
and watch it be the most important

1119
01:02:47,810 --> 01:02:50,890
hour and a half of the week
for everybody, you know, for our

1120
01:02:50,890 --> 01:02:53,090
staff. I tell us, like, the
most important hour of the staff

1121
01:02:53,570 --> 01:02:56,570
is Wednesday morning, 9am for
one hour. And we get on our knees

1122
01:02:56,570 --> 01:02:59,130
and we pray and we cry out to
the Lord. Because it does more than

1123
01:02:59,130 --> 01:02:59,770
anything else.

1124
01:02:59,770 --> 01:03:00,090
Yeah.

1125
01:03:00,090 --> 01:03:02,810
And I love Sunday morning.
It's. It's vitally important. I prep

1126
01:03:02,810 --> 01:03:06,530
a lot for the messages, and we
do a lot goes into that. It only

1127
01:03:06,530 --> 01:03:09,610
has power when the church is
praying on Wednesday because that's

1128
01:03:09,610 --> 01:03:12,850
the fuel that makes Sunday
morning happen. And so the more people

1129
01:03:12,850 --> 01:03:15,210
come and experience that,
they'll delight in the presence of

1130
01:03:15,210 --> 01:03:18,370
the Lord. They'll cause more
to move. They'll experience the joy

1131
01:03:18,370 --> 01:03:21,450
of the unified faith of the
body, and then that'll pour over.

1132
01:03:21,450 --> 01:03:23,570
And not just Sunday morning,
but every single day of the week.

1133
01:03:23,570 --> 01:03:26,810
So I'd love more and more of
the church to show up, and they will

1134
01:03:26,810 --> 01:03:27,530
be blessed for it.

1135
01:03:27,610 --> 01:03:31,810
Yeah. Amen. Amen. We kind of
started talking about miracles and

1136
01:03:31,810 --> 01:03:36,510
then went into prayer. And I
just. I think I. I wrestle with the

1137
01:03:36,510 --> 01:03:42,190
idea of, like, do. Whenever we
pray, should we go praying just to

1138
01:03:42,190 --> 01:03:45,230
expect a miracle? Like you
talked about, kind of like that level

1139
01:03:45,230 --> 01:03:49,230
of, like, praying with
expectation. Should a miracle be

1140
01:03:49,230 --> 01:03:53,710
the expectation, or should it?
Or or should it be something else?

1141
01:03:53,710 --> 01:03:59,120
Yeah, it's a great question.
And I would turn it back to say 100%,

1142
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:02,720
you should expect a miracle,
but you don't get to define the miracle,

1143
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:07,360
and that's the killer part.
And I preached on this one. I thought

1144
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:10,560
the greatest miracle in my
life was not the healing of my back.

1145
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:15,120
It was the ability to say,
God, not my will. Your will be done.

1146
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,600
Don't heal me until you've
taught me everything you want to

1147
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:22,440
teach me and done everything
in me you want to do in me. That

1148
01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:25,700
would have been miracle enough
if he hadn't healed me. So did a

1149
01:04:25,700 --> 01:04:29,100
miracle happen 100%, because
he changed my heart. Is somebody

1150
01:04:29,100 --> 01:04:34,020
saved? Am I. Do I have joy now
when I had burden? Do I have peace

1151
01:04:34,020 --> 01:04:38,420
now when I had turmoil and
anxiety? Those are genuine miracles.

1152
01:04:39,220 --> 01:04:42,420
My child who's wayward now,
who comes back and says, I repent,

1153
01:04:42,420 --> 01:04:46,500
forgive me. That's a genuine
miracle. If I just am at peace now,

1154
01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:49,060
saying, I entrust this child
to you even when they haven't turned,

1155
01:04:49,060 --> 01:04:50,900
because I'm putting them in
your hands and you know what you're

1156
01:04:50,900 --> 01:04:53,580
doing. God and that peace that
surpasses understanding, that's a

1157
01:04:53,580 --> 01:04:56,520
genuine miracle. So do we
expect miracles? 100. Do we define

1158
01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:57,400
the miracles? We do not?

1159
01:04:57,400 --> 01:05:01,840
Yes. Yes. I think that's a
perfect distinction. There's this

1160
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:05,840
book called the Reason for God
by Tim Keller, and he wrote something

1161
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:09,360
that I thought was really
good. He says, we modern people think

1162
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:12,480
of miracles as a suspension of
the natural order, but Jesus meant

1163
01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:16,520
them to be the restoration of
the natural order. And just like,

1164
01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:19,520
as you were even talking, I
reminded again of the surgery. And

1165
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:23,770
there was a song, so some
background lore. There was a song

1166
01:05:23,770 --> 01:05:27,170
that I had been listening to
that I remember wrestling with. I

1167
01:05:27,170 --> 01:05:29,330
was like, I don't know how I
feel about this song. Like, the.

1168
01:05:29,650 --> 01:05:32,210
There's just a phrase in it
that I don't know how I feel about.

1169
01:05:32,690 --> 01:05:34,890
And I was talking to one of my
friends about it, and he was like,

1170
01:05:34,890 --> 01:05:37,449
yeah, I get it. But, like, you
know, it's still. It's still a decent

1171
01:05:37,449 --> 01:05:41,930
song. And I was like, okay.
And when I was, you know, at the

1172
01:05:41,930 --> 01:05:46,730
er, just in really, really
agonizing pain, nothing was helping.

1173
01:05:46,730 --> 01:05:49,210
They were trying to give me
medicine. Nothing was doing anything.

1174
01:05:49,210 --> 01:05:53,680
And I prayed, like, the only
prayer that I could physically say

1175
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:56,400
out loud. And I was just like,
God, I need your help. Like, God,

1176
01:05:56,400 --> 01:06:02,520
help me. And as I'm, like,
clawing away at my abdomen and, you

1177
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:05,440
know, like, I don't think. And
the Weird thing is, is I don't. I

1178
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:09,240
don't think I was in the
mindset to, like, predefine what

1179
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:12,040
I wanted him to do. I think I
was just, like, in the desperation,

1180
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:17,170
like, help, like, that's the
only thought I could form. And, you

1181
01:06:17,170 --> 01:06:21,490
know, it took time, but
eventually, you know, I was fine.

1182
01:06:21,490 --> 01:06:24,570
Like, after the surgery, pain
was gone, all that, like, eventually,

1183
01:06:24,570 --> 01:06:28,250
but that took hours. But as I
was, like, reflecting on it afterwards,

1184
01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:31,369
I forgot that I even said
anything to him while I was there.

1185
01:06:31,369 --> 01:06:35,210
And I was reflecting on that.
And then I realized that that song

1186
01:06:36,090 --> 01:06:40,010
had been playing on repeat in
my head the entire time I was at

1187
01:06:40,010 --> 01:06:44,270
the hospital. Like, it was
almost like someone had, like, beats,

1188
01:06:44,270 --> 01:06:47,310
headphones over my ear. And
the song was connected to, like,

1189
01:06:47,310 --> 01:06:51,390
an ipod somewhere, like, on
repeat. And that song was literally

1190
01:06:51,390 --> 01:06:53,950
playing on repeat the whole
time I was there. And, like, even

1191
01:06:53,950 --> 01:06:57,790
whenever I came to from the
surgery, the song was still playing,

1192
01:06:57,870 --> 01:07:01,550
like, and it was as if it had
been playing the whole time. And

1193
01:07:01,790 --> 01:07:05,870
the song is like, thank you,
Jesus, thank you, Jesus, thank you,

1194
01:07:05,870 --> 01:07:09,610
Jesus, you have given me one
more day. And, oh, Lord, I just want

1195
01:07:09,610 --> 01:07:12,290
to praise you because you mean
everything and everything to me.

1196
01:07:12,370 --> 01:07:15,970
And just even, like, that song
meant so much more to me at that

1197
01:07:15,970 --> 01:07:19,210
point because I was like,
lord, like, you may not have, you

1198
01:07:19,210 --> 01:07:22,690
know, made it to where I
didn't need the surgery or made it,

1199
01:07:22,690 --> 01:07:28,250
but I was seen by you. And you
sang a song of encouragement over

1200
01:07:28,250 --> 01:07:32,770
me. And I didn't even. And,
like, I don't. I'm sure it did something

1201
01:07:32,850 --> 01:07:36,620
to my heart in the moment,
but, like, I didn't. I didn't ponder

1202
01:07:36,620 --> 01:07:39,940
it until even after the fact.
And I was like, the Lord did answer

1203
01:07:39,940 --> 01:07:43,900
that prayer. He did help me.
He, like, sustained me to endure

1204
01:07:45,020 --> 01:07:47,860
and sang a song over me while
it was happening. And so just even

1205
01:07:47,860 --> 01:07:50,980
the thought of, like, it
doesn't have to be like, this super

1206
01:07:50,980 --> 01:07:55,540
massive dissertation of a
prayer, but just like, that was all

1207
01:07:55,540 --> 01:07:58,140
I had. Like, that was all I
had to give. And he answered it,

1208
01:07:58,140 --> 01:08:01,340
and in a way that I didn't
expect, but in a way that encouraged

1209
01:08:01,340 --> 01:08:02,840
me even. Well after the fact that.

1210
01:08:02,910 --> 01:08:06,470
Yeah. So my favorite part of
that whole story was you said you

1211
01:08:06,470 --> 01:08:09,950
had an ipod, and yeah, it's
like, yeah, you had your Walkman

1212
01:08:09,950 --> 01:08:10,670
with your cassette.

1213
01:08:11,790 --> 01:08:12,510
Millennial, right?

1214
01:08:13,390 --> 01:08:16,350
What was that other Zune? It
was the Zun, the black Zun. Do you

1215
01:08:16,350 --> 01:08:19,029
guys remember that? That was
like, it was competing with the ipod.

1216
01:08:19,029 --> 01:08:22,510
And they did not. They didn't
win that fight. But anyways, yeah,

1217
01:08:22,510 --> 01:08:24,590
as an iPod. IPod nano 4 channel.

1218
01:08:24,910 --> 01:08:30,699
Yeah. But you guys, by the
way, my heart hurts so bad to hear

1219
01:08:31,179 --> 01:08:35,779
you have to recount what you
went through. So for you to see the

1220
01:08:35,779 --> 01:08:40,579
presence of God and to feel
the presence of God, that. That is

1221
01:08:40,579 --> 01:08:41,179
a miracle.

1222
01:08:41,179 --> 01:08:41,619
Yeah.

1223
01:08:41,619 --> 01:08:45,219
Like God, in my most
excruciating moment, you're with

1224
01:08:45,219 --> 01:08:45,499
me.

1225
01:08:45,499 --> 01:08:45,859
Yeah.

1226
01:08:45,859 --> 01:08:48,899
And you didn't take it away.
You could have. You could have just

1227
01:08:48,899 --> 01:08:50,899
snapped your finger. The pain
would have been gone, but instead,

1228
01:08:50,899 --> 01:08:53,459
you chose to walk with me.
And. Yeah. There's nothing deeper

1229
01:08:53,459 --> 01:08:54,899
in the gospel of Jesus than that.

1230
01:08:54,899 --> 01:08:58,620
I agree. And I think being a
believer doesn't exempt you from

1231
01:08:58,620 --> 01:09:00,260
suffering, and I think.

1232
01:09:00,260 --> 01:09:02,100
That actually qualifies you
for something.

1233
01:09:02,100 --> 01:09:07,100
Exactly. And I feel like it is
one of the. At least in my life,

1234
01:09:07,100 --> 01:09:10,300
it has been. One of the things
that has strengthened my faith the

1235
01:09:10,300 --> 01:09:14,820
most is suffering. And it's
like a pruning. It's like there's

1236
01:09:14,820 --> 01:09:20,940
a disbelief that I feel that
his holy fire burns away, but that

1237
01:09:20,940 --> 01:09:24,290
can only happen in the
furnace. And so I don't know. I've.

1238
01:09:24,599 --> 01:09:28,679
I feel like. I agree, like, we
don't get to define what the miracle

1239
01:09:28,679 --> 01:09:31,719
looks like, but I think we
should always be expectant when we're

1240
01:09:31,719 --> 01:09:36,199
coming in before the place of
God. So you guys have any final thoughts?

1241
01:09:36,279 --> 01:09:40,359
That's good. I just want to
leave them with something like. Or

1242
01:09:40,359 --> 01:09:44,199
maybe you have the answers for
it. But I know we have resources

1243
01:09:44,279 --> 01:09:50,679
for journaling and prayer. Do
you all know the. I would just love

1244
01:09:50,679 --> 01:09:51,639
to equip them with that.

1245
01:09:55,270 --> 01:09:56,110
Or is it prayer?

1246
01:09:56,110 --> 01:09:56,430
Prayer.

1247
01:09:56,430 --> 01:09:57,350
I think it's prayer.

1248
01:09:57,830 --> 01:09:58,950
I think that's the prayer form.

1249
01:09:58,950 --> 01:10:03,630
Okay, so journaling guide. So
if you go to fielder.orgjournalorjournaling,

1250
01:10:03,630 --> 01:10:06,910
you'll pull up our five
journaling tips with a video from

1251
01:10:06,910 --> 01:10:10,630
our very own Pastor Jason. But
if you need prayer, like, you're

1252
01:10:10,630 --> 01:10:13,910
just like, I need someone to
come alongside me and pray. Feeler.org

1253
01:10:13,990 --> 01:10:18,120
Prayer we'd love to pray
alongside you and come to a prayer

1254
01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:20,240
gathering. You know, like,
there's always information about

1255
01:10:20,240 --> 01:10:20,960
that on the website.

1256
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,360
That's where we teach how to
pray, too.

1257
01:10:22,360 --> 01:10:26,840
Exactly. And I think we have a
lot of elements to prayer. And we

1258
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:30,280
clean house with confession
and, you know, remove the clouds

1259
01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:34,160
of, you know, not being able
to hear from the voice of God through

1260
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:38,320
repentance and his forgiveness
and grace. And so we worship together

1261
01:10:38,640 --> 01:10:43,320
and we pray for the lost, so
be able to experience what we get

1262
01:10:43,320 --> 01:10:43,760
to experience.

1263
01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:47,520
One of my favorite parts about
prayer gathering is how many young

1264
01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:50,520
adults come to prayer
gathering. You can just tell, like,

1265
01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:54,480
man, Gen Z. And, you know,
they. They. They're hungry. Hungry

1266
01:10:54,480 --> 01:10:55,040
for Jesus.

1267
01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:55,480
Yeah.

1268
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:59,360
And I love it. That attitude
of worship and reckless abandon.

1269
01:10:59,360 --> 01:10:59,800
Yes.

1270
01:10:59,960 --> 01:11:05,440
Is so beautiful. And I would
say, too, for all of y', all, prayer

1271
01:11:05,440 --> 01:11:08,560
is something that you learn by
doing. And so, yeah, you might read

1272
01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:11,890
books about it, but prayer,
you learn by doing. There's no better

1273
01:11:11,890 --> 01:11:15,570
way. And so, you know, I mean,
to your point, get the resources

1274
01:11:15,570 --> 01:11:19,330
and just give it a try. And
you. You will get better at it by

1275
01:11:19,330 --> 01:11:21,970
doing it. You'll get worse at
it by not doing it. So it's pretty

1276
01:11:21,970 --> 01:11:24,970
simple. Prayer gathering is
just. It's a flywheel push. You know,

1277
01:11:24,970 --> 01:11:27,930
it's just a chance to, like,
come do it. Come stretch yourself.

1278
01:11:27,930 --> 01:11:29,930
And there are people I hear
all the time who will say, like,

1279
01:11:29,930 --> 01:11:32,890
I never in my life one time
prayed out loud in front of somebody

1280
01:11:32,890 --> 01:11:35,530
else. And then I went to a
prayer gathering, and I did, and

1281
01:11:35,530 --> 01:11:40,130
it was so beautiful. And God
stretched me, and now I realize I

1282
01:11:40,130 --> 01:11:44,930
can pray out loud. That's a
freedom. Yeah. And I want more people

1283
01:11:44,930 --> 01:11:45,370
to find it.

1284
01:11:45,370 --> 01:11:49,090
Yeah, I agree. I agree. I
agree. Okay, well, thank you so much

1285
01:11:49,090 --> 01:11:53,090
for coming. I feel like I was
able to speak a little bit more,

1286
01:11:53,090 --> 01:11:58,010
like, freely, because I knew
you would be here. But anyways, thank

1287
01:11:58,010 --> 01:12:02,650
you guys so much for joining
us and listening to this. We appreciate

1288
01:12:03,150 --> 01:12:06,230
you guys just, you know, even
asking and being open to hear more

1289
01:12:06,230 --> 01:12:10,270
about prayer and whether or
not we believe in miracles. So, yeah,

1290
01:12:10,270 --> 01:12:13,070
thank you so much for joining
us, and we love you guys. Peace out.

1291
01:12:13,070 --> 01:12:13,470
Peace.