If there's a time to really try to cut out more time or

place more emphasis and value on loving well is. What

we like to say around here in my family is, you know, are we loving?

Well, right, just because you never know what's in

store, and so you want to create those good memories, right? So that even

if something does happen, you know, there's some good memories for your loved ones

to truly remember who you were and what you were about and

the legacy that, you know, you lived.

Welcome back to another episode of Open Heart surgery

with Boots. Today is a very

special conversation that I'm bringing to you

this man, Todd Sykes, that I'm so

excited to introduce you to. Todd and I

used to run around the block together as kids.

He was known as Toddy and I was known as Suzanne, my

first name. And we grew up together in

Edenton, North Carolina. And

now, thankfully, we have both made it into our forties.

Amazingly, we both have bicuspid valves.

He's about to share his journey with you. It's amazing how

we were both running around the block with these unknown congenital

defects and we lived wonderful childhoods

together. But now Todd is in his forties. He's got

four kids, Preston, Brayden, Josie and

Scarlett. He lives in Wake Forest, North Carolina,

and he is the owner and operator

of Freedom Benefits Source, which is an

independent employee benefits insurance agency. It's

amazing that he continues to run that business and he's going to

get into how he is navigating his life now, because

in 2020, Todd suffered endocarditis in addition

to a stroke and an intracranial mycotic

brain aneurysm. And he was hospitalized for

39 days in and out of the ICU,

a total of 16 days. They

repaired his heart with two mechanical heart valves via

open heart surgery and then coiled the aneurysm

through his groin. Whoa. He's going to have to go into that with

us. And he is

thinking now that maybe the bicuspid aortic valve caused all

of this, but we're going to get into that with him now. So, Todd,

thank you so much for coming on open heart surgery

with boots to share your story with us listeners, and it's just

so great to reconnect with you again. Yeah, and thank you for the invite,

boots. Appreciate that little background. Definitely was

fun times back then in childhood, but now we're all grown up and

I guess more thankful to even be alive after what we both

been through here over the past few years. Congratulations

on your recent successes. So, yeah, you know, it's. It's been a

trying time, you know, almost five years. Coming up next year since. Major

health crisis, life changing event, healthy as you could ask

for. At age 37. I was 42. I'm 42 now. I was age

37 at the time. And no known

conditions. Right? I ate well, I exercised, probably not as much as I

would like, but no medications, no chronic illnesses, diseases that I knew

of. And all of a sudden, I became ill in February of

2020, right after our third child, Josie, was

born. And then I would get well. Then I was really ill again, and well

and ill. And that was the case most the entire year. Extreme

flu like symptoms, 105 degree fevers at night, ten

blankets wrapped around me in the bed, still cold. Didn't know what was

going on, was going to every specialist known to man in wake

forest, and had about every test known to man done.

No one could figure out my situation. And so I

became severely anemic. I was going in for iron infusions every

two weeks, going to an independent hematologist. Oncologist.

Wasn't getting well there. I'd maybe feel better for a

day. And then it was right back to the same old symptoms.

I'm a loyal person by nature, and I really felt

that this independent doctor had my best interest at heart, and so I

didn't really want to take other measures to go seek

someone else. As far as a second opinion,

though, it did get to that point with the help of my parents and my

wife, who kept egging me on. I did request to

be seen somewhere else at least a couple of times from this

hematologist, and it actually did not happen. So it came down to the

point, boots, where, you know, I just had to pack the bag and go

check myself into the erde. And so October,

I could be wrong on the dates, but October 30, I believe,

2020, I looked at my wife. I was disabled on the couch. I was

living on the couch, sleeping mostly on the couch. Most every night. I told her

to pack a bag and take him to the ER. And that's when everything

really began, and that's when we started to really find out the severity

of my situation and what was actually going

on. And, of course, this is during COVID. Yes, it was

during COVID So, you know, another layer of the cake. Right, if you

will. I go to the ER. They do a ct scan.

They come back after, like, I don't know, quite a while and say,

yeah, all of your organs are enlarged. You would not have made it another week

or two if you didn't come today. And I'm saying, okay, well, what's

going on? And they said, well, we're trying to figure you out. You are now

going to the main hospital. So then they put me in an ambulance, gave

me some pain medicine, and sent me on my way to wake med

main, which is East Raleigh. And there I stayed for

39 days, but it took well over a week for them to finally

uncover and find that I had endocarditis. They did a

EKG after a few days and found

that, of course, the heart was significantly

impaired. Right. And they basically rushed me into heart

surgery. I think it was like, a day or two after that EKG

or echo. I'm sorry, it was echocardiogram. And for, you know,

for those mechanical heart valves surgery. How long was

it before they did the echocardiogram?

Oh, kind of going back to the details

conversation. I could be wrong, and I'm sure my wife

knows this exactly, but she's good for that. You

know, I think it was only a couple of days, really. You know, I think

that was pretty immediate. I don't think it was the day of. It might have

been this. It wasn't the day of. It was the day after. You know,

I think it was somewhat immediate. Right. If you want to call it that.

But I know that I think it was done on, like, a Saturday or Sunday,

and I don't think they could get me into surgery until that following Tuesday, if

my memory serves me correctly. But, you know, that can be a little

shaky now, for sure. Okay, so they replaced which

two valves again? The mitral and the

atrial. I'm sorry. Aortic. Aortic

and mitral. Okay, so then you thought you would be well

on your way. Yeah. So it was scheduled to be a four hour

surgery. It became an eight hour heart, open heart surgery.

Finally, by the grace of God, made it out of that

surgery. The day after was when things got

really hairy, actually. My heart started to fill up with fluid,

which I know is a very common occurrence in post heart

surgery patients, and that's one of the things that they monitor,

I think, quite often for everyone who goes through that type of surgery. But they

had tubes actually installed below

my heart to drain out the fluid. And then at

one point during all of that, in the recovery process from that

going on, they did have to rush me back into

surgery because I did almost pass away. I think that was probably the closest

call was post heart surgery. When my heart

started to fill up with fluid, I felt fine. You know, I'm laying in the

hospital bed, things seem normal. I'm cognitive. I'm

aware. I'm not in any pain, really. Right? And then all of a sudden, I

have 25 nurses in the room telling me something's going on, and I'm

saying, well, what is it? I feel fine. I. They said, no, it's not. It's

not okay. We have to take you to surgery. And then before you

know it, I'm. I'm on an operating table. So, yeah, that

was a. That was a close call. I think that was the point when my

wife. Because I think she had just gotten. She was there with

me. I don't know, every day, it seemed like at the hospital for the stretch

of 39 days. But I know it was really tough on her. You

know, it's really easy to kind of look at me and I. And kind

of go through my personal situation with the

health crisis. But she was really thrown for a loop, you know, during

this whole process, especially in the beginning, she didn't even know what was going on.

And the lack of the communication, partly because of

COVID processes, were really restrictive. But, yeah, that was

a close call. I believe when my heart started to fill up with fluid,

they were, of course, got that taken care of, under control.

So there I go, laying a hospital bed for days, in and out.

You know, they're. They're trying to monitor my progression, my recovery.

And it went well for the most part. I mean, I. As far as I

remember, I was eating normal. I don't think I was the best

patient. I was known to be a fighter. They

called me miracle man in the hospital a few times. I think I

definitely had some doctors and some, you know, nurses kind of

shaking their heads and trying to figure out how and why I'd survived, even when

I went through. And. And I definitely wasn't the easiest

patient. I think it was a little needy, you know? You know, 37, 38 year

old man is not used to being laid up in a hospital bed for that

long and knowing my kids were at home not seeing me and vice

versa. And, you know, I don't even think we barely facetimed just the pain

of having them see me in that situation. I felt like it would make

matters a little more worse, and. But, no, it was. It was

tough. So I was finally at the day where they

come into the. Into my room, and they say, todd, we believe you're well

enough to be discharged tomorrow. I say, wonderful.

Okay, so I'm going home, right? Like, hey, here. Here's the time I

get to see my kids, you know, I had seen them because my wife was

the only one allowed in the hospital. Kids were not allowed. Right. So

that day comes the next day. I get up in the morning, it's like

435 o'clock in the morning, and I have to go to the bathroom. I proceed

to get out of bed, and as my feet hit the floor, as soon as

they touch the floor, I drop straight to the floor code. Stroke is

called. I have 30 nurses in my room. In a matter of about 20

seconds, I had a stroke. Again, cognitively aware

of my situation, felt normal. Right. What's going

on? I feel fine. Well, no, you had a stroke.

Rushed to the operating table, here I am,

you know, having a stroke, which, of course then led to the mycotic brain

aneurysm. So now I'm getting a neurosurgeon involved to

try to help me overcome this, this

aneurysm. I believe at the time it was around ten or

12 mm. Don't quote me on that. But they did

have to go in through the groin intravenously

and coil the aneurysm, which I find

is just magnificent how they do that. And, yeah, it was

apparently a very, very tedious type of surgery because

where the aneurysm is located, which I do currently still

have, by the way, I think it's less than 2 moment.

But they had to be very careful because, you

know, of the placement of it. They could have easily made matters

worse if they tried to do anything more than coiling it, which

is why they haven't done anymore, because the

doctors here, and they pretty, I think they pretty much say any neurosurgeon,

for that matter, in the country may not decide to go

further in trying to take care of this

aneurysm more than we have, just because of the placement of where it is, because

it could lead to some more severe problems. So at the

moment, that's where we stand. You know, it's coiled still.

It's being monitored every two years. I'm going in for an MRA.

I just had one about a month ago. Nothing's changed. It's still

there. You know, there's probably a less than 2% risk for it to

rupture. So there is a risk, but it's very, very low. And

yeah, I see a cardiologist once a year. Right. So, I

mean, all things said, you know, it is a true

miracle that I am still sitting here

today, you know, talking through this with you and sharing to

the listeners because it's many, many wouldn't have made it

this far, right, going through what I went through in the hospital. And so I've

yet to really talk much about it. You know, I've explained it to

colleagues, friends, family, of course, haven't written down much of my

experience. That's something that I plan on doing, moving forward and trying to get in

a spot where I can do that, share my story, because I believe, you know,

there are people out there that are listening now or even that will listen in

the future that it could definitely help and empower. But I will

say, you know, it is by the grace of God I'm still here today. And

I will continue to give him credit because I felt his presence,

absolutely felt his presence, more than I ever have during that stay

in the hospital. I had a peace overwhelm me like I've never felt in my

life. It's still there, right? Maybe not as

present. I was there, but, you know, I

never was afraid, even if it was my time to go. I

remember feeling, you know, definitely not afraid whatsoever. The only thing

that scared the living daylights out of me was leaving my children,

newborn baby, my wife, at home, caring for the children,

leaving her in the situation that she was in, because we were

not prepared for me to leave this earth at that point in time. We did

not have an estate wheel trust set up. We had nothing prepared.

And if I would have passed, that would have just opened up a whole new

can of worms. But no, there's a whole different side of my story

with my wife and actually kind of wanted her to share. But

maybe we can save that for another time. But I think, you know, a lot

of people tend to look at the victim, the patients themselves, and not really the

family members. But, you know, believe me, she went through probably just as much, if

not more, than I did here at home. But no, by the grace of God,

we're here. We're, you know, I'm alive, kicking. I'm probably physically in better

shape than I've been. You know, I give. I get up every morning, a little

different perspective in life, on life, and definitely give my thanks and

prayers to being able to continue to live on this earth, to

care for my family and see what I can do to continue to help others

in the community as well. Thank you, Todd, for sharing all of

that. And it seems like you have come away with

some hard learned lessons, one of which

is having our affairs in order. Right?

So you said you didn't have anything set up

and you would have really, you know, it almost sounds like

a regret that things had not been put quite

in order. And I mean, I don't blame you. You were 37. We don't,

none of us think in our thirties that, or even

in our forties that something could happen. But life does

happen. Life does keep on lifing, as I like to say.

So is that some advice you would like to impart on

listeners is to be more

prepared, be more proactive in

making sure the back end is taken care of? Oh,

absolutely. And me being in the benefits world, I've been an insurance

broker now for almost 15 years. And of course

I was overly prepared for something like this to happen. I had

long term disability plan actually still paying out on me at the

moment. If you don't have one of those plans, and you are a breadwinner of

a family, you need one. Just that simple. So

it's really helped paint a testimony for me and my own business to

explain value, importance of benefits, especially the younger folks,

because many folks in their thirties, right, even forties, you know,

don't have insurance, right. Maybe they're, they don't have general

medical insurance. They especially don't have any supplemental plans.

I had two heart plans. I had a long term disability plan. So,

yeah, all of these paid. And, you know, again,

financially, through my situation, we actually came out ahead

because of all the supplemental plans. My blue cross blue

shield medical plan paid the hospital bill in full, which was well over

$700,000, paid 100%, not a dime out of

pocket, and all these other ancillary plans that I had paid

cash directly to me. So of course I'm not working, I'm not scaling the

business like I, of course, would have liked at the time. My wife didn't work,

hasn't worked for now about ten years now, starting a business, as I mentioned

earlier, but there was no income coming in on her side. But I

will say she works at home. Let me add that one. But yeah, I mean,

without it, we would have been toast, right? I mean, it would break financially,

anyone really, who wasn't prepared if they didn't have insurances.

And so not only that, but then you talk about the estate and the will,

which I did mention. I mean, I didn't, we didn't have that in place, so

we wouldn't, we would not have known if something were to happen where, you know,

that becomes, you know, just a melting pot

of things and negative things that can really

stem from not being prepared, especially in a tragic

loss situation that none of us are really prepared for. But it's hard to have

those conversations, most people don't want to talk about life insurance. They don't.

They don't see maybe the value because they feel they're healthy

and nothing's going to happen. Well, you know, I'm here to tell you that things

do happen, and they'll happen at a moment's notice, and at that

time, it's too late. Right. Like, right now, I need more life insurance.

Can't get it. I won't have. There's no insurance carrier. I'm

appointed with about 36 of them. They will not appoint. They will not

insure me at the moment. So, of course, with my current condition

still having the brain aneurysm, fortunately, I do have some.

You know, I don't believe it's enough. But going back to your point,

boots on, being prepared. I mean, I can't stress that enough,

really. Especially if there's people counting on you, loved ones at home, if you're

a breadwinner, absolutely. You need to be prepared. Take

it seriously. Healthy, not healthy. If you're not healthy, you may

have issues being insured, but maybe there's some carriers that a little bit more liberal

can. Can help you. But, you know, there's. There's options out there. You just

have to ask somebody. You know, feel free to ask me. You know, I know

a lot about it, and I've even got a firsthand testimony to speak on it

and how it's important. So. Yes, and

now that you've lived through this and you know that you have this

aneurysm in your brain, like, how different are you

living your life now compared to

before. Before 2020? It's funny you asked that,

because I got discharged from the hospital. I'm sorry. It was

October 29 to November 30, 2020,

when I was discharged. And I remember asking my

cardiologist at the time because we had a

snowboard trip planned, my son and I, and

I still wanted to go snowboarding. Right. And so I've got

an aneurysm. Right. Doctor, can I still go on the

trip? Well, it's only. It's still two or three months out. And I thought

for sure there'd be some protocol like, no. No physical

activity such as that. Right. For at least six

months. Not at all. That was not the case. He cleared me. Absolutely

cleared me, even, like, two, three months later. Said, you know, you're

pretty much on your own. You know, you're. You're kind of living at your own

risk, just kind of do what your heart feels and, you know, you

know your abilities better than anyone. But at this point, you

know, you are free to do what you need to do. And so

I ended up taking that snowboard trip with my son. And I don't think we

took but like two breaks for about 9 hours. We went out to, went out

to, I believe it was sugar and just had a, had a ball. And

so, and so since then, I've really kind of tried

to try to live life. Maybe not as close to

the edge as I did, but I still press the

limits. Not near as your caliber boots. I'm

not even close to, you know, your caliber as far

as the adrenaline pushing the limit topic. But, you know, I

do love to go surfing still, you know, I still love to do physical

activities, but I do have to remind myself and it's tough. It's hard, right,

to remind. Oh, wait, you got, you have an aneurysm, ty, like, slow down,

bud. You know, one. One wrong move and in the right spot

of, you know, and so I try to, I try to just

try to take each day as it comes and again wake up thankful

to live it and take breaks throughout the day

to keep my head, you know, where it needs to be and focused on, you

know, whatever it is I'm working on at the time. Stress is a killer for

me. I do get easily stressed and overworked. My

brain, I'll shut down if there's too much commotion, too much

stimulation. My brain just can't handle it and get a lot of that with four

kids. So that's, it's a daily occurrence. Trying to work through that,

you know, going back, you know, I do have, again, a lot of. A lot

of support, loving wife who's definitely there for me.

So I wouldn't be able to be here today living in the manner

I am, you know, without all of that and without

the help of our higher power. I call him God, Jesus. And

so he's there for me. I, again, I'm a

little closer to him today than I was, but I try to live a healthier

lifestyle. We try to eat well, right? You know, so your bodies are a

temple, right. So we need to take care of our bodies. And I think you're

very aware of that. Boots. You do a great job. It looks like, you know,

eat the right foods. Exercise is important. We have a family

trainer now, my wife and I, my two boys, we go to a

trainer once a week. My son's a big hockey player. We're

a big hockey family. Go Kane's. And so we love to go to

Hurricanes games. I love watching him play, but we're trying

to work towards his goals and help him meet his goals of making it

to the NHL because that's where he wants to go. And so I'm trying to.

Trying to get him back active and build up some, some lower body

strength. And, you know, I lost 50 pounds during that health crisis

boots and I lost pretty much all the muscle in my legs. And I'm just

now getting to the point where I can rebuild the muscles in my legs. And

so I've been wanting to get to see a trainer. I already know how to

work out. I've always really known. But I would say the trainer is probably more

from a motivational standpoint, just that once a week we see them on

Mondays and then that sets the tone for the rest of the week. You know,

then downstairs we have a small gym downstairs,

treadmill, elliptical, have a squat rack, few, few dumbbells. Right.

So, you know, exercise, strength training is kind of in the game for me

now. And that's something I'm really trying to focus on is rebuilding

my strength and, you know, muscles really, and just

trying to stay again on top of. Top of my health just because I have

a lot of people counting on me. And, you know, definitely got a different new

chapter here in the book that is presenting a whole new set of challenges. But

no, again, I think, you know, with those types of

things and that life, those lifestyle choices, hopefully we'll

provide some longevity and, you know, be able to see the

grandkids and, you know, the children get married one day and all the

above. Right? And then maybe my wife and I jumping in a mobile van to

come out to the tetons to. To snowboard with boots. Who knows? I don't

know. I'd love that. In

closing, thanks for sharing your story, by the way.

Again, I just have these flashbacks of you getting on my

nerves when we were kids.

Not me. No, no, no. I mean that the most loving

way. It's just

amazing how every heart patient I

have the privilege and honor of interviewing, you included.

It never ceases to amaze me the

power of the human spirit to bring us through

the toughest of circumstances and then to be

able to tell the story with a

reframe of hope and

perseverance and gratitude. I

would say that the unifying point of

view amongst all the heart patients I've interviewed now

is gratitude. And would

you say that? Or. Let me back up. My

last question for you is, what is

something you wish you could just give to everyone in the world?

Right? Now, from your lived experience. And I

say that because, you know, when I spoke on the TEDx stage,

I wanted to give away the perspective that we aren't

promised tomorrow and that I see a lot of the

world, or at least in the United States and our culture,

living, like, letting little things bother them

and staying in relationships, jobs,

whatever, that doesn't serve you. And for me,

with my journey, I have learned and now

actively every day, live out the perspective that

I only say yes to what feels right and I say no

to what doesn't feel right and I no longer abandon

myself. Right. And so that's, like what I want

to impart to everyone that's listening. From my point of

view. What is something that you want that you wish people

could, like, put into practice today from your experience?

If they never get to go through heart surgery and never get to go through

what you went through, like, what is a lesson you want them to

know? Well, I mean, that's a. I could. That could go in a

few directions, but, I mean, I don't know what choose one pops to mind

is just awareness of, you

know, what could potentially happen. Right. And the importance

of family time. Right. Like, you don't get time

back, so living out each moment really like

your last, because again, you really don't know.

Right. And so I think just living in each moment and

really being there. Right. And I have a really hard time with that

because, you know, I'm a business owner, so, you know, I'm on

technology a lot. You know, there's emails coming through. I'm always on my

phone. Phones are a killer. Right. And so

I'm the first to admit, you know, there's a problem there that I'm aware

of, but we're working there. But even with all that said,

it's. It's living each day like your last, truly

finding time with family, friends and

living those out undistracted. Right. And I feel like this

world is so full of distractions, especially

now in today's climate. Unfortunately, where we are as a country,

you know, it's family is even more important than ever now. And so I

feel like if there's a time to really try to cut out more

time or place more emphasis and value on loving,

well is what we like to say around here in my family is, you know,

are we loving? Well, right, just because you never know

what's in store and so you want to create those good memories. Right. So

that even if something does happen, you know, there's some good memories for your loved

ones to. To truly remember who you were and

what you were about and the legacy that, you know, you lived.

And so I think that's probably the biggest thing because I think

at the end of the day, you know, yes, we could be successful in our

careers. We can chase fame, money, fortune. Yeah, that's all great.

And I did that for ten years. Corporate in the insurance industry. That's why

I left it and became an independent broker, just because I was.

I felt a deep conviction of

trying to find and navigate ways, yes, to make

income, but to create more open space to spend for

family time. And so that's never been more important

than till after this health crisis. And, yep, still working

on, of course, that on a daily basis. But I'll say it's much,

much better than it. Than it was. But what we don't is want

people to wait till something may happen, right. What we want

listeners to really do is to take these things into serious

consideration and we pray nothing ever happens, but really try to

put these good practices in place today. Right. And

think, okay, what could I do? Maybe it's setting my phone aside

only for certain times of the day to check my email, or

maybe I get my responsibilities done before everyone gets up in the

morning, you know? So that's something that I'm still trying to work on when

it comes to working out and being physically in shape. But, yeah, family

time, you know, me as a family man, that's what's speaking to me,

and that's really what resonates with my heart, you know, as you ask that question.

Beautiful. That's a great place to end. Todd Sykes,

thank you so much for reconnecting with

me on open heart surgery with boots. I know your story is going to

help so many people, and I will have in the show

notes. If you want to reach out to Todd and thank him

for sharing a story, I'll have his contact

information there. And be sure if you haven't already

subscribed to this podcast. And the greatest thing you can

do for this podcast to help it grow is to leave a review

and share it with others. Please be sure to come back next week

for another inspiring story of hope,

inspiration, and healing. Thank you so much, boots.