[00:00:00] Hey, so glad you could make it! Uh, welcome to our weekly dinner hang!!! Can you do spice? Great. Okay. Let me introduce you to the gang! I'm not gonna lie, they've got some problems, but hey, we're all just trying to figure it out. It's always Sean, this. Sean that! This is Brian! I just lived this last week, the most irresponsibly, impulsively, and sexually liberated I have EVER BEEEEEEN! Brian!! And it really paid off.

[00:00:29] He's, uh, going through a bit of a crisis. He just dropped outta medical school. I show up for my day ones!! Oh, and um, that's Lisa. She's such a badass and so sweet. She's always putting her friends first, even at her own expense. Thanks for the sour cake pat, but can you please go away, though, before you start to word vomit another microaggression and I STEP on your balls?

[00:00:50] That's Henry. He is a little bit of a f*** boy, but he recently committed to a comedy career. Okay, yeah. Well, can you at least like look at what they're saying in the community? "Chummy forced to make public apology after renounced Muslim comic's controversial set." What the hell is this!? I didn't say anything bad!!!

[00:01:08] He's been trying out some new material lately, like Armie Hammer. You'd think he'd find some acceptance among cannibals. Right? But even woke ass cannibals are like, this racist only eats white meat! And uh, that is Henry's manager, Sanjay. My mom taught me that success and p*** go hand-in-hand in Uncle Sam's backyard.

[00:01:27] Okay, he's kind of a mama's boy if you ask me. This is Pocket Rocket 2000. It was my mother's, and I want you to have it. Is this used? Your grandmother got it at the market. Only 350 rupees!!! Oh my God. Jesus Krishna Ma, you waited 24 and 1/2 years to have the s** talk with me??? No, no, no. Not s** talk.

[00:01:48] Pleasure talk!!! He's recently given up his FinTech job to branch out into brand partnerships. That's Kevin. Uh, he's just met the love of his life. I don't know how it's possible to find the love of your life within three weeks... But she's a little different than him, and he is trying to win over his family. KNIVES!!! A set of knives for-- for bread, meat, chopping, and paring! Four knives. I KNEW it. You are trying to SEVER Kevin from our family!!! I think it's going well. And, uh, oh, I'm Angela. Why does everyone think I'm violent? I've never done anything violent in my life! Augh! And before you ask, I am half Asian. My mom is from Hong Kong.

[00:02:32] I think, um, I actually don't really know. I--I'm trying to figure it out. I know nothing about my life or where I'm from, and I feel so severed from my culture that I live in a mental No Man's Land. Oh, and we have a few more people joining us. Ronny Chieng, give me your hands. Ugh, what is this? Have you heard of moisturizer?

[00:02:53] Celia Au, Mommy just wants you to be happy. Alice Kremelberg. I'll swim if I have to!!! Sea Shimooka. Not again. Perry Yung. I don't take risks. Karen Huie. Imagine being on Goodfellas. Talk about a career move!! Derek Basco. He's a free spirit like his daddy. Soojeong Son, Kaneez Surka. All the uncles on the WhatsApp groups are calling you c***! And a lot more, so here, grab a plate!

[00:03:27] Minor Legends, Season One, a comedy fiction podcast dishing on what it means to be Asian American. Coming soon!!!