And so we keep evolving and so I think it's so

important to remind everyone that,

Wherever they are.

It's always important to keep reevaluating your definition of success.

Does this really hold true for me today?

What If the key to True

success is giving ourselves

permission to break free from conventional molds and embrace our unique identity?

Welcome to Seek Go Create, where today we're joined by Gene tn, creator of

the Success Method, and a beacon for those seeking to redefine success on

their own terms from the structured path of an Ivy League education and corporate

career to a journey of self-discovery.

Empowerment Jean's story is a testament to the true

transformative power of authenticity.

She's hit her.

Share how breaking free from traditional expectations can lead to

a more fulfilling and impactful life.

Jean, welcome to Seek Go Create.

Hi, Tim.

Thank you so much for having me.

I'm so excited to be here and to have this conversation.

I'm glad for you too.

you're, what you talk about is such a great match for us here at Seek,

go create, redefining success.

And so let me dive in.

My first question, when people ask you what you do, what do you tell them?

I.

I am a corporate nine to fiver on the path to redefining what it

means to be a successful, professional.

And so what I mean by that, if I may, is that currently I

still have my nine to five job.

it's what keeps me going.

And at the same time, I'm using all of the experiences that I've gained

in corporate to look for the gaps, the opportunities to be able to support

others as they're looking for their way in terms of redefining success as well.

And by creating the programs that I've created by working with the

individuals I've created, it's really to shift the whole paradigm

of what it means to have that job.

So what are some of the struggles that we can have, and this

is a, it's sort of a jokey question, but, hey, someone's got a good job.

What more, what more would they want?

You know,

. Jean Tien: Um, I, you know, I think everybody has their own struggles.

And it's funny, I was just coming out of coffee with a friend of

mine and we were just having this conversation where she thinks that

nobody else is having similar problems.

And I told her she's right.

Nobody else is having similar problems because we all have

our unique set of problems.

But I think overall the same struggle happens for all of us, which is we're

looking for our place on this planet where we fit in, where we can really

not just fit in, but where we belong and how we get that sense of belonging.

And I think, when you are in that corporate nine to five, I think many

of us have worked really hard to get to where we are today, only to realize that

It's not where we wanted to be in the first place.

It's not what we thought it would be.

And then we've worked so hard, we've invested so much time

and energy and resources.

Now the question is, okay, I feel stuck.

And it's that sense of stuckness that keeps people, I wanna say in

the same place, because they're either afraid of taking the step

forward, they're afraid of pivoting.

our favorite word from Covid is pivoting, they're afraid of making the

wrong decision or somehow ruining all of the hard work that they've done.

And I could say that none of that is a reality.

All of that is fear-based.

And it's most likely, it's most likely what we're all dealing with

in some shape or form, manifesting itself in some way or another.

I am kind of with you that, that word pivot.

I think we're starting to overuse it now.

Of course we do that.

We all, I was doing an interview the other day and I used the

word unpack and I hated myself.

I'm going, darn.

I said I, I'm, a few years ago, it's like everything, we're

gonna unpack, unpack, we're gonna unpack, and now I, I think pivot.

But I, I do think it's a good word for the topic.

I can't think, I was at a bible study with a group of people, business

owners, entrepreneurs the other day, and we were using the word transition,

Mm.

is pivot We, it's the same thing, but, gene, the I, I

remember It's been 30 plus years.

I'm dating myself a little bit.

I remember a term that I heard a lot that was something to the effect of, I may

butcher this, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna mention it and you could let us know how

it ties in where people would say they've been climbing the corporate ladder only

to find out that the ladder is leaned up against the wrong structure or whatever.

I, is that part of this?

Is that statement still hold true today?

I think it still holds true, and I think it holds true for many of us.

I think most of us climb the corporate ladder because we were told

that's what we're supposed to do.

We were told that's what being a good citizen is, right?

Like the higher you climb, the better that you are, and we do what we're told.

And then when we get to towards the top of the ladder, I think

many of us start to look up at that point because we can, right?

Because we're trying to enjoy the successes that we've achieved.

And then we realize that oh, wait, where?

and I think so many of us ask this question, it's okay, now where am I?

And that's the question that then people aren't really sure how to answer.

And so that's where I come in.

Are, are a lot of people, this is gonna sound cynical, but the

audience is gonna be okay with it.

'cause they know that every once in a while, Tim goes full on cynical.

It's okay.

we in a culture where people are just disgruntled and unhappy and

there's, in some ways not a lot that we can do to make some people happy?

I think that's such a good question because what it

brings to mind is, yes but no.

I think that they're potentially disgruntled and unhappy because they're

not willing . To settle anymore, or they're just not necessarily,

comfortable with where they are.

But then, the question that comes to mind is, how did they get here?

And then so to say that we're in a situation that they're just disgruntled

and unhappy suggests that there's no path out or that there's no solution out.

And I definitely think that there is a path out.

and I think so many of us suffer unnecessarily.

Hmm.

One of the things that's interesting, I love what you said there, is as I interact

with a lot of people, as an executive coach and I get to talk to people with

what I do here and in ministry and things like that, I recognize that in the

world there's a lot of what I call hope

hopelessness.

Mm.

of hope and hope's a weird word because it sounds a little fru,

but yet, I think we all need to have a certain degree of hope, hope, hope that

we can improve, do better hope that we're not gonna show up at work and somebody's

gonna fuss at us and yell at us.

And so one of the most interesting things when I do, when I do research on people,

I shared this right before we click record, the reason I was so attracted

to what you do, and sometimes I don't remind myself of this until a couple days

before the actual conversation is I think we booked this way back when I'm like

going, now I remember why I'm talking to Jean

Okay.

because of the success method, and we'll talk about

that in just a moment and things

like that.

but.

What I was really reminded of, Jean, I went to your website and I listened

to, it looked like a TED talk, but I guess you were speaking in front of

a group, like a five minute thing.

And it was basically you talking about walking in the

door, your first day of work.

Now, those that are listening, they can't see it, but behind you,

there are some degrees on the wall

Yes.

and you've, I mentioned it in the intro.

You've been through Ivy League, you appear to have done all the right things.

Yeah.

What caused the issue when you walked in the door and like

right out of the gate, it seemed like things went the wrong direction For you,

Oh yeah.

your first go share, share whatever that you'd like.

'cause I think it's really helpful for people to know how you redefined

success early on in your career.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

So I, like you said, I literally did everything by the book.

I studied really hard.

I got the good grades.

I got into the Ivy League University, graduated, and I got

a job in finance because that's what all my friends were doing.

That's what we were supposed to do to make the money.

and then the day that I walked into the door of my first job, which, I really,

I was told once when I was complaining.

or venting, it's a nicer word to use.

When I was venting to a coworker, , you know how I'm not happy at work.

And I remember very specifically, he's there are so many people who

would kill to have your job right now.

And it's not like I was a top investment banker or anything.

I just had a position in a really good place of employment with a top brand name.

But I remember going into that job and I really wanted to do my best.

And so I put so much pressure on myself to do it.

And what I realized was like I had no idea what I was doing.

I had no idea like what I was even supposed to do.

And I just remember getting yelled at by my boss,. Often and like

the snarkiness and the comments.

And no matter what I did, it just never felt like it was enough.

And then I couldn't ask the right questions.

I couldn't even do the right things.

And whenever I try to do anything extra, I wasn't even getting any of

those, brownie points or anything.

I would just still be left to the side.

And so it was like time after time and it was just like, you know what?

I'm so sick of.

Doing what I'm supposed to do and not getting anywhere and getting beat

up like over and over again because I'm trying to make everybody happy.

But it was at my expense.

And then so there was just that moment of forget this, I am not doing this anymore.

I can't it because I'm doing it according to what everybody tells

me I should do, and it's still not getting me anywhere where I need to go.

So let me just try to do this my way.

let me do what I think is the right way.

And of course we have to do it within the parameters of

the environment that we're in.

So let me try my way, let me try not to worry about what others are saying.

Let me just go forward and have no regrets, because if this time

it doesn't work, then at least I could say . I have no regrets.

And it was interesting enough when I started to do that, my career just

shifted entirely, like entirely.

And then, so then people started coming to me and I started becoming the

subject matter expert, which honestly built my career and my confidence.

And it's still what I do today in terms of how I operate at work.

So, gosh, there's like three questions floating through my head.

Let me start with this one.

I'm guessing you didn't change your actions as much as your mindset shifted.

Would that be a correct assumption and talk more about

it if that, whichever direction.

Yeah.

So I think it would be hard to say that I, so I think they're very much

linked in my personal experience.

I think they're linked, right?

So if I couldn't change my mindset, then I think my actions would've repeated itself.

I think in terms of what I didn't change was what I knew.

I knew what I knew, but what I changed in terms of mindset was to stop

giving everybody else credence and to start giving myself credence, right?

To start crediting myself with what I knew and stepping into that.

And from that perspective, that mindset shift actually

shifted the actions that I took.

quite frankly, I stopped kissing everybody's butt.

And I stopped trying to please everybody because I knew, I recognized, if they

don't understand what I'm saying, I can't really do much other than to try to

help them to understand what I'm saying.

But I'm no longer going to say, oh my gosh, you're so right.

And then, and put myself behind it.

but I would have to give myself a chance, right?

Not mute myself, not do all the things that put me second

and everybody else first.

Especially when I knew within me that they didn't really know what

they were talking about, right?

Like that they were wrong, quite frankly, if I wanna be honest.

And this was a process too.

I think in the video that I watched, I think you went through

three, four, or five positions

Oh, yes.

so it wasn't like, two weeks in you figured this out and it's like,

oh, jean's good now, she's on her way.

It was a process,

correct.

Oh my gosh.

It was a very long and extended process.

It took multiple jobs like shifting because I think so many of us go

from one job to another, hoping that our problems would go away, right?

oh, I hate my manager.

He's such a jerk.

Okay, let me go find another job.

But guess what?

Your next job, your managers or somebody else is gonna be such a jerk too.

And so you're gonna have the same problem.

And then so when I started to recognize that, I'm like, oh wait, you can't

really run away from your problems . As much as we like to think that like

it's the other person's fault, what I've honestly realized over time

is that . It's really us and how we see things and our perspectives and

when we get mad at something, it's not necessarily the other person.

Yeah, the other person can be a jerk.

They can be a backs stabber, they can be many things, but how

we react to it, it's all on us.

Right?

Whether or not we can tolerate it, how we respond to it, it's all within us.

And so we can either get, stuck with it or if we shift the way that we

see things, we can start to turn it around and turn the situation around.

And quite frankly, once we start to do that, that's when others come to us,

that's when others start to trust us because they know that they can, have

this rapport with us and still get to a place of common good is what I'll call it.

Jean did you feel this is, this is actually the beginning

of a question that I'm, I've got a couple questions to follow up.

Did you feel, and I'm looking at the diplomas behind you here, did you feel

somewhat entitled a certain path or a certain level of respect or honor?

I don't even know what kind of words we

Oh yeah.

because

of the hard work you had done that you would step in and all would be great.

so was entitlement part of it?

I think there's a level of entitlement that comes with it

and it's an entitlement that I.

I don't, I don't wanna overlook it, but I will say, I think we're fed it, right?

oh, we're fed this story.

That if you go to a good university and you do all the work you're supposed

to and you behave the way you're supposed to, then when you enter the

workplace, you'll get X, Y, and Z.

And when you don't get X, Y, and Z, you're just like, wait, what?

I was supposed to get X, Y, and Z People were supposed to respect me, right?

Because I came from here and I have this, and I meet the qualifications that they

asked for so they would respect me, right?

And at the end of the day, that that has nothing to do with it.

You earn people's respect through the work that you do, through

your interactions that you have.

And it's never really about, and this is something that you know as a mom too.

'cause my teenager, not my teenager, my son is turning to be a teenager next year.

This is something that we struggle with.

I think even more now than we did in the past, in the sense that.

Your degree, your piece of paper, your resume never guarantees you success.

It never guarantees you to work with professionals.

Only.

We work in an environment where there's so much diversity in the backgrounds

of everyone that's around us, that if we don't know how to handle

ourselves we'll never know how to work with the others around us as well.

and I love the general message is all about looking at

ourselves because what I, what I heard you say was basically you had all your

degrees and all that kind of stuff, and that got you to the starting line

that got you to the place to start.

And I was reminded of a

weird story.

I'm gonna share this and then, and then I think it opens up

the door for us to discuss.

More.

Years ago I was having my hair cut with a friend and she was standing

there with scissors in her hand, cutting my hair, looking in the

mirror, and she commented, my wife and I just celebrated an anniversary.

And her comment was, I really do wish.

I had a marriage like you and my wife Gloria, and she was at the time, and I'm

not judging this, this is an observation.

She was on her third husband and, and she was complaining about each one of them.

Okay?

And, and I should not have said this with someone who's standing

there with scissors in her hand.

And she was looking in the mirror, and usually when she cut hair,

she looked in the mirror herself.

She didn't look at me, which gives you a little

clue as to her.

And I made the statement, I said, maybe not them, maybe it's you.

Hmm.

Which is a pretty harsh statement.

And again, she's standing there with scissors in her hand.

And my hair's about half cut.

but I think the reality of it is, I'm hearing you say, I.

Maybe it's not.

I think the manager that you first used, you called him Bob in the video I watched.

Maybe it's not the five bobs that you worked for that were all jerks.

Maybe it's Gene.

So how do we start, if you're saying it's us, how do we start looking at

how we adjust instead of blaming I, I don't blaming whatever, being a

victim, we could use a lot of words, but

how how do we start that process to realize,

first of all, if they're listening in here, that's probably one of

the starts, but how do they start?

Yes.

yeah, I call them Bob.

and the reason I call them Bob is because what it represents is Bo block of beliefs.

And so it's all about our beliefs and our beliefs filter.

. our reality, right?

Our beliefs are the way that we perceive what we're going through.

And and by no means am I saying that Bob was faultless and that Bob is perfect.

I think if you had a certain problem with Bob, then 10 other people probably

have the same problem with Bob.

Now the problem now not the problem, but the reality of the

matter is that all 10 people won't have the same reaction to Bob.

So why is it that you have this reaction to Bob?

Why did, was it that I had this reaction to Bob, where I let Bob, impact my

emotions every day, where I went home crying, where I literally gave myself

insomnia because of all the stress and anxiety that I put on myself.

thinking that it was Bob who put this on me, right?

and so I think that's a great question in terms of how do we start identifying

why this is bothering us so much, or why Bob is bothering us so much.

I think it's really asking ourselves the questions that

we're too afraid to ask ourselves.

And if Bob did something really mean then, for lack of a better word, we'll

say mean because it's very broad umbrella.

Then why are we so mad?

Like, why are we so mad that Bob did this right?

And, okay, so Bob shouldn't have done it.

Agreed.

But then why did it this generate this level or trigger this

level of reaction within us?

What is it bringing up?

And a lot of the times it's something to do with our own fears, our own past

experience, what we think it means.

A lot of times it's a disrespect type of thing, I think amongst all of us.

if I was respected, Bob wouldn't do this.

And maybe not.

I don't know.

Bob is Bob, right?

we don't know.

But when we feel disrespected, when we're afraid that this means we're gonna

get fired or whatever the situation is, it generates this reaction.

And then so when we start to look at where this trigger comes from.

What had triggered this type of reaction, what our main fears are, or

what the beliefs are on this thing.

Then we can really start to dissect it and then we can start to determine,

okay, does one plus one always equal two?

Right.

So in the past, let's say, I'll use my childhood.

If I did something wrong, I always got in trouble and the punishment

usually wasn't very, enjoyable.

, I'll put it like that, right?

And then, okay, if I make a mistake and Bob gets really mad, does that

mean that the punishment won't be, that enjoyable, will be the same level of

pain or hurt or frustration or sadness?

And it's usually no, because we're not at the same place anymore.

But in recognizing this and in seeing this, we can then start to

take it apart and say, it's, is it really true for us to today?

Or, is it something different now?

And then what if it's something different?

How can we overcome the beliefs that we have, the experiences that we

have to start to respond differently to the same type of triggers that

we have, which is always going to be in a form of Bob somewhere.

Yeah.

And the other thing that I think many of us forget is that Bob could be

going through the same process himself.

Oh yes,

He may not wanna be where he's at.

He may think that he deserves some different role and

then, we bring in this whole.

I hate to bring up the word.

not really diversity, it could be that if both of us work for Bob and

I'm a guy, and Bob's a guy, and we go

out to lunch once a week.

You're sitting there going, I don't go out to lunch once a week, Bob.

They must be buddies.

we may not be buddies.

We may just whatever, go out to lunch.

I don't know.

but, so there's a lot of things that factor in

Yeah.

Yeah.

and what I'm hearing, Jean and I think this is what I've picked

up on and maybe I think this is a good place to go with the conversation,

is that really we have to kind of own this We, we it's not like we can

offload this or get even AI to help us with it, which is interesting.

Buzzword or anything like that.

Now we, we really, I.

Have to come to terms with owning this and taking charge, control, whatever word.

There's

probably a lot of words we could use.

Yeah.

And, and is that correct?

And, and, and what does that look like?

What did it look like for you as you came along?

Yeah.

So for me it was really, yes, absolutely.

We have to own it.

Otherwise Bob owns us and so it's either we're going to take control

of the situation or as much control as we can of this situation.

Or somebody else is gonna control our emotions, our beliefs, our reactions.

And in terms of how it looked like, for me, it was just to a point where like

I was so uncomfortable, I sought help.

So for your clients, they seek you out for help.

And I sought out a coach for help and it was really, it was really beneficial

because my coach was able to share with me and to shed light on the areas that

I never knew didn't need to happen.

So for example, I always thought oh, if you mess up then you have to be scared

'cause you're gonna get in trouble.

And then so like my coach showed me like, no, you don't have to be scared.

We're all human and you can make a mistake.

And, this is how you go forward and move it and forward and move forward with it.

But that's not what I was taught.

I was taught I had to be perfect.

I was taught that, anything outside of perfection meant that

we were going to fail and that I would, I should fix it right away.

And so having that third party perspective is super, super helpful.

Now, we can't always afford a third party to help us, but if there's

somebody that we can trust to be able to be honest with us, it's definitely

worth having that conversation.

But also recognize the fact, and I think this is where so many

people go wrong too, is that

And I was actually just telling my friend this too, is that we can, we should

only listen to the advice that resonates with us because as much as you and I

are coaches and forever, however many years we've done this, we still have

our own filters in place that may not necessarily be relevant or accessible

to the person that we're talking to.

And so getting an outside perspective is helpful, but at the end of the

day, it's really taking in the information that really resonates.

And does it always work and clear out the problem?

Maybe, maybe not, but I think it's, I think something we have

to get comfortable with too.

It's not a one and done process.

It's an evolution.

It's a journey.

It's trial and error.

And so maybe we thought, sorry, my dog is on this side.

I don't know if you hear her, but.

Maybe we thought that this would work today, but, if it

didn't, maybe it wasn't meant to.

Maybe we have to look at it something else.

Maybe there was something missing that we weren't comfortable accepting

or looking at in the first place.

Yeah.

We'll, welcome the dog in on the show here.

What's the dog's name?

Just so we can give proper credit.

Sure.

Her name is Oreo and she's a puppy.

We just got her and if you can hear, I apologize.

I gave her treats.

I thought she was gonna calm down.

clear.

She's like going wild.

We will just welcome, everybody kind of knows that I broadcast

my section from an RV and we could have blowers and noises and stuff like that.

So we'll welcome Oreo in.

Maybe we'll ask a few questions of Oreo shortly, or maybe we

Okay.

Thanks Tim.

Jean, something that's that.

Gosh, this comes up a lot and I, and I, and I wish it didn't, but I

think it's appropriate when we talk about these things, we also have

to bring in things like culture.

Gender um, you know, structures, , you know, what part of the world we're in.

All these different things have to be factored in.

and the reason that I wanna do that is because I think you

work primarily with females.

Is that correct?

Yes, for the most part, I work for females.

yes.

Okay.

So then this is a question that I seem to ask a lot when I have someone like you on,

is it what are, and here's the reason why.

Let me preface this.

Many times when we're talking about similar topics with say, a male,

we're not having the discussion about you need to take charge, you need

to be in control of the situation.

And I must admit, I am sitting here listening, going, yeah,

yeah, yeah, I get that.

But I also think back to my nine years, right?

When I came outta Georgia Tech and went into corporate, I, I was probably a bob.

I probably walked in thinking that I owned the place.

I'm not saying that's good either, but I don't think I thought

about some of those things.

So let's talk a little bit.

As much as I hate to go here, let's talk a little bit about either

cultural and or just the differences.

And I don't like to group people, but we're about to do it.

So what are some of the unique challenges related to those differences?

So, let me know if this answers your question, Tim.

I think, and happy to just be honest and, full disclosure, I'm

not easily offended, so feel free to say whatever it's totally okay.

Yeah.

that's what benefits everybody else, right?

To have an open and honest conversation.

I think there are differences because that's what, that's what

makes us unique are the differences are our lived experiences.

And you and I don't have the same lived experience.

I am an Asian female and I'm 46 years old.

There are other Asian females who are 46 years old, similar, maybe

same diploma or whatever it is.

They, this person and I won't have the same experiences, right?

Because we . Never grew up with the same people or whatever.

Even my brother and myself don't have the same experiences because he had

a different life than I did, even though we lived under the same roof.

And so these are the differences that create and contribute to the experiences

that we have, the experiences that feed into our beliefs and our reactions

and our triggers and everything else.

And so the way that we see things will be different.

I think, I wanna say, I think most of us walk into a new job, especially

graduating from an MBA program or from, a university thinking something is going to

happen and that we deserve to be there.

And absolutely we all deserve to be there.

I, I think . when our expectations and the reality don't match.

I think that's where it's oh wait, that's like a big sign

of okay, wait, what happened?

And I think some of us are able to adapt and be more resilient to it, and others

are not necessarily going to be, and for me, I fell into that second part.

I fell into that latter category of not being resilient because I didn't

know how to handle differences.

I didn't know how to have conflict, conflict, free

conflict, if that makes sense.

Right.

Because I wasn't taught that.

Whereas if you were to walk in, you probably knew how to do it

and because you were taught that.

So everybody will be different.

And I think that's what creates um, that's what creates the interesting

situations that we have, whether it's at work or at home, outside, et cetera.

I, and I think the thing that's.

Tough.

it's it's tough for me, but I want to be better, and I think it's tough

for everybody at various levels is that we know the value of diversity.

It's just pulling it off to get everybody underneath one

roof is really, really hard.

Oh, yes it is.

It's great.

Theoretically, I think when you execute it in reality, people don't realize

how hard it is to actually make it work the way that we think it should work.

And then, so that's where we fail because it's in the nuances that creates,

quite frankly, the experiences that we have, whether it's good or it's bad.

And so if we can handle the nuances.

when it comes to that diversity aspect, it, it really does

benefit the overall organization.

So somewhere along the way you, you continued in the

corporate path, but then you started.

On the side, side, gig, side hustle,

another company,

whatever.

Tell me about the formation of that and then we'll probably start moving into

some of the things we could learn from all the things you've been teaching

and sharing in that environment.

yeah, absolutely.

and so for me, it's interesting because when I started to see

how . Much easier things can be.

When we started to shift the perspective, I realized like there's so many of

us that are suffering unnecessarily.

They're suffering in silence, but it's also so unnecessary, right?

And like all of this we do mostly to ourselves, I wanna say 80 to

90% of it we do to ourselves.

And when I started to realize that, and I felt like I was the biggest

quote unquote self, designated victim out there, and if I could see that

change, and if I could make this leap, then so many of us could do it too.

And we would have better working environments for

everybody, like everybody.

And so that's when.

I recognized, I was like, I can change that.

I can actually have influence in that and by sharing my experiences, by working

with others to help them see maybe where they're holding themselves back the

same way that I was doing to myself.

And so that's how I started, working with my clients and, sharing the

messages that I have out there as well.

So when did gimme a timeframe?

when was that, and where was

that in your career I.

Yeah.

So I wanna say it was about five years ago and it was, I wanna say it

was before CO but when Covid came, it really gave me an opportunity to devote

more time to it because I didn't have to commute two hours a day and I can

really be a little bit more flexible.

Yeah.

in terms of the time that I'm committing and how I spend it.

And I think in terms of where I was in my career, it's so interesting

because I was doing well in my career.

and yet I wasn't doing well in my career.

And that's when I started to see okay, if I make the mindset shift and stop trying

to please everyone, I can do better.

But then I'm, if I'm going up in the ladder, aren't I supposed to be happy?

Aren't I supposed to like, wanna go to work?

Aren't I supposed to feel, joy for more than 24 hours after I get promoted?

Because isn't that what we're all like supposed to be working for?

Right?

And yet, like I couldn't make myself feel joyful for the promotion

to like middle management or whatever, for more than 24 hours.

No matter how I'm like, oh, you should be grateful.

not everybody gets this.

You get more money and so why are you so unhappy?

You're broken.

Like, those were all the thoughts that basically came to my head and I was

like, wait, something is just not right.

And so that's when.

You know, I started talking to others, that's when I hired my

coach, and they're just like, it's not you, but it's you , essentially.

It's this is all you.

and that's when I realized that we can have all of the successes, and I put that

in quotes right, on the outside, but if we're not getting any of it on the inside,

it doesn't matter how much money we have.

It doesn't matter how high in the corporate ladder you have, you are, it

doesn't matter like what car you drive or what house you have, or, and quite

frankly, I hate to say this because I know I'll probably get some slack

for it from parents, but it doesn't matter how many kids you have, right?

Even though you love your kids, it doesn't matter how many kids you have,

if you can't be present with them, if you can't find the joy of having all of

the things that you have in your life.

And that's why, that's where I was in my career when I started.

One of the thing, and you just did a great job of almost

defining our redefining success mantra

that we have here.

you went through all of it, and I guess as a follow-up, I wanted to ask why

is money not a good gauge of success?

Oh wow.

Where do I start with that?

Money is just money.

And I know that sounds terrible, and I know some people will say, well,

that's probably because you have some of it, and you could say that.

And yes, there's absolutely some truth to that where, you know, I am not, on,

on homeless, on, the side of the street.

And I, and I do have some because I work, et cetera, but

money can go away at any time.

at any, at any day.

And I can have my job today, or I can't have my job today.

And I think the biggest example of that was the financial crisis in 2008 where

people who had worked for 50, 60 years on the verge of retirement lost everything

and they had to start all over again.

So does that mean that they were unsuccessful because of that situation?

Or do we need to reevaluate what we're basing our success on?

And I think what happens with money is that we start to define ourselves

based off of how much is in our bank account, . And if that's what it is,

then you don't need to have a family.

You don't need to have anything, right?

Like you don't need to have any experiences.

You just go to work, collect your paycheck, and the bigger it grows, then

does that mean that you have more value?

And if that's the case, then okay, that's great.

Because some people, they're fine with that.

But then others will ask, then what value have I contributed to the overall society?

What value have I contributed to my community, to the world today?

How have I made people's lives better?

And those are the people that I tend to work with because they want more in life.

And it's not saying that they won't have more money by pursuing more.

It's just saying that money in and of itself is just a piece of

paper for them that helps them.

It's like a means to the end that they're seeking

Yeah, and I, the thing that I found, because

that story of 2008 is our story,

Okay.

multiple companies, big house, all that kinda stuff, and I

found myself attaching my identity.

I.

To that success.

And so when all of a sudden that shifted change went away, blew up,

whatever terms you wanna use, I started questioning, okay, maybe I

wasn't as smart as good or whatever.

And so that's, and that becomes tough.

I I I love that you're pointing people more towards an inner, I think

a lot of people will tie faith in.

We don't shy away from that here.

For me, it was quite a faith journey.

But somewhere along the way you developed this method that's, I

call it success, but there's a period after each one of the words.

And so I don't know

if it's S period, U period.

the success method.

Tell

us about that.

And then maybe in the time we have, maybe we can unpack.

Did you see, I, you, I

Yeah.

word in.

I made it work.

While, we can unpack that a little bit for, for some folks so that they could

take some tangible things away from here.

So success method,

tell us about it.

absolutely.

So it is an acronym, as we love all good acronyms, it is an acronym, and

so I don't, I, there's seven steps to it because, one step for each letter,

I won't go through all of it, but I think some of the more important

ones is the first one for s Right.

And that's really important because this is where I see most people fail.

And it's the one that is so critical that most of my clients spend the most

time here, which is, it stands for sussing out your definition of success.

And most, actually all of my clients, when I've asked them like, okay, what

do you, you know, define your success?

they've never sat down to define their success.

They define it in a way that they think they're supposed to,

oh, I, I wanna make whatever.

I wanna have this, I wanna have that.

Okay.

But what's your definition of success and why is that important to you?

And so when we can, and the reason it's so important is because

this is the analogy that I use.

If you get into your car and you know you need to go somewhere, but you don't

have a def A, a destination to enter, then how do you know where to go?

Right.

You don't, you're gonna be driving around aimlessly hoping to one day be

placed in the right situation, and you just spend so much energy and gas and

money trying to figure it all out, and you get hopeless and lost along the way.

And so it's always important to have that destination.

So it keeps us on the path of where we wanna go, and then it becomes so

much easier to filter out all the things that are unimportant to us.

So that's the first step, and that's the s.

Good.

All right.

So I want to, I do agree because it's one of the reasons this show exists that is

probably the most challenging for people.

Probably always has been.

Probably always will be.

But and, and I'll, I'm gonna spout a few reasons why I think it might be,

and you could just respond and come back and maybe we could get Oreo to jump in.

I hear Oreo a little bit there.

Oreo can jump in and give some thoughts as a puppy that's probably chomping

down on some kind of toy or some treats.

That's

can hear it.

it.

That's his, is it a, he puppy.

yeah,

her

successes, I got it.

And mom's not taking it away from me.

. Exactly.

I've got the treat and the toy and we're in good shape.

So the thing that I noticed, let me kinda share this.

We were, I was, we have a grown son, we have two grown children,

but we're our grown son and my wife and I, we were in Las Vegas recently

and we're sitting in Las Vegas and I just kinda shared this over lunch.

I said, you know, I think I like the thought of Las Vegas more than I like

the actual being here in Las Vegas.

And it got us on a great deep conversation of thinking we should

enjoy something, thinking that culture likes this or that or whatever.

now we've got all these, what we'll call social media where

we can compare to people.

I think very few people take the time to do what you're saying,

which is define what their.

Success is.

So I'll just pause and let you respond or say some things about maybe

other challenges or those challenges that you see with people doing it.

Yeah, I absolutely agree.

We think . We would enjoy something more than what is actually true for us,

because that's what we're told, right?

Oh, whatever stays in va, whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Which is gives that implicit message like it's gonna be fun

and it's gonna be exciting.

And like whatever happens, it's gonna be memorable and you're

gonna wanna talk about it.

that's brilliant marketing, right?

Why wouldn't I wanna go to a place like that?

And then when you get there, you're like, oh, it's kind of dirty.

And it's not that like exciting and it's not really my thing anymore.

But then I think this is where people start to look the other way because

then they're like, wait, but is it me?

Because they told me that, Ooh, whatever stays in va, whatever

happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

So am I the weird one that's not enjoying myself.

And it's no, there's a million other people that don't enjoy

Vegas and you're not the odd one.

You just happen to know.

you know what you like, but knowing what you like and accepting that you

like something different from the majority or what you're told, you're

supposed to, that's the hard part.

And I think that's where success goes wrong.

Right?

Because, you know, and I see this all the time, it's oh, I want a big house.

Wait, but why do I want a big house?

what does it mean to me?

Oh, I wanna drive the German cars and the luxury cars.

They're fun.

Okay, but then what about the maintenance and this and that?

And what about all those things?

we forget that sometimes we don't have the same likes or, preferences that

most of our . Other peers have, and we don't want to climb this corporate

ladder and that's okay, right?

And so because we wanna do something different, and I think the younger

generation, I will say, as much as like they get the crap, the younger generation

is much more accepting of the fact that they don't wanna follow the footsteps.

Whereas I think, my generation and above were just wait, but aren't we supposed to?

Isn't that what makes us like acceptable?

And isn't that what makes us fit in?

And if we go back to the original part of this conversation, it was like, we are

all looking for our place in this world.

And then, and it's really hard and it's really lonely, and I'm sure you

feel this too, because you're a coach.

And so when we see things that other people don't see, and you're trying

to find that community, it's really hard and it's really lonely sometimes,

and people just don't want to, they, they don't wanna deal with it.

and so it, it discourages them from looking for other definitions of

success and for allowing for their truth to be recognized and honored

and accepted by themselves because it, it could be a little uncomfortable.

I think for the most part we are all created for

something unique to do something unique and specific in this world.

But it seems like many people will copy and be

copycats and do

other things because it's tough to be different.

again, part of

the catalyst for what we're doing here is, you're talking, you're

Preaching to the choir here.

My wife and I live in an RV and travel.

We are, you mentioned being homeless earlier.

I'm sitting here going, we're homeless.

We don't have a home.

No,

we do, we have a motor coach and

we're down here in Arizona.

The weather's nice.

You're in New York.

It's cold.

I'm in a pretty good spot right now.

but part of that is, you have other people that ask often, what are y'all doing?

When are y'all gonna settle down?

What, when are you a place to go?

They, and sometimes I think people think it's, they think it

might be judging their choices.

I don't think it is.

I think when people walk their own path and then other times it's

just, they just don't understand.

yeah.

and I think there takes a certain degree of

courage to begin this process.

Talk a little

bit about that.

'cause I think that's what I picked up from you from the

video I watched is that I.

It took you a little while to all of a sudden have that, the Wizard of Oz.

You were given courage all of a sudden.

it takes courage to go through this, to ask for help, to go get a coach

or to sit down and say, I'm gonna work on this definition of success.

I.

Yeah, it definitely takes courage.

It's so uncomfortable at times and especially during the times where

you're at the precipice of growth because growth means you're getting

uncomfortable, because you're not, you're growing out of your comfort zone.

That's what growth is.

so it absolutely takes courage.

And what's more about it too, and this is, this is one thing that

I am going through right now.

So we're having a very, good conversation now in terms of

timeliness, is that I think we all want to control the circumstances.

We all want to have safety, and we think that by controlling

our circumstances, we are safe.

Whereas I think so many things around us have shown us that

there is no ability to control.

Any of us have no ability to control our circumstances.

The only thing we can control is how we respond to a situation.

And, but the thing is that it's scary when you go out there and

you follow an unconventional path.

And it doesn't even have to be that unconventional.

You don't have to, quit everything and then move whatever.

it doesn't have to be that unconventional.

But even something as simple as saying.

Okay, I'm going to accept the fact that I don't wanna work a nine to five.

I wanna pursue, a hobby or I don't care about the promotion.

I wanna spend the extra time instead of working.

I wanna be able to spend the time, knitting because that's what I love to do.

And trusting that it's going to be okay at the end, right?

Something so small as that, or seemingly small as that can take

a lot of courage because you know you're doing something that other

people think you're crazy for doing.

oh, why wouldn't you want a promotion?

Why don't you want more money?

Why don't you want da, da, da, da, right?

And it's no, because I put my personal joy ahead of all these things.

But few people value that sense of personal joy because we all work towards

that pot at the end of the rainbow.

And it's so funny because when have you ever seen a pot of gold

at the end of the rainbow, right?

So what you can only see now is what you have in front of you.

And, but we're taught to ignore that because we want, we wanna prolong,

our ability to enjoy the riches that we have because that's what makes

us a good person or so we're told.

So we're told.

So if someone is sitting here going, you know what I got, I've got to work on this.

Defining what success looks like for me.

and I know, listen, both of you and I would say get a coach.

Maybe that doesn't make sense for everyone, but what are a couple just like

quick tips and then I do want us to do maybe a quick run through the rest of the

system without going into a lot of detail.

But

I think, I think I agree with you.

This is like the most important.

So couple quick things for somebody who's listening, going, I need

to define my success better.

What are some

things that they can do tangible that can

get that process started or more clarity there?

Yeah, I think we start with the easiest part, right?

So I think what we start with is what does, like what is your

current metrics of success?

And I think so many of us will say the money, the whatever, whatever.

And it's fine.

There's absolutely no judgment in any of that, but write it all down.

So let's say you write your top five metrics of success.

So when I first started, it would be where I am in my career, how much

money I have, whether or not I'm married, whether or not I have kids.

Those are quite frankly all cultural things, right?

And let's just keep it at that four.

Now if I go, and then now the second step is to go back to each one of

these metrics and say, what is it about this metric that makes me successful?

And then it's to really be that.

Personal, investigator, right?

And really dig deep into it.

Okay, money makes me successful because if I have money, then I can,

buy all these different things and, okay, so I can have an island and

I can have all of these things, but does that truly make me successful?

because everybody has, I take that back.

Most of your audience, most of, the people we know have money in the bank.

So does that make us successful?

And I think if we look back 10 years ago, oh, I wanted this amount in the

bank and I'm pretty sure most of us probably met or exceeded that amount.

So are we successful?

Is that where we stop now?

And then, so it's just to keep looking at the circumstances and say, okay, you

know what, maybe it's not the money, maybe it's what money represents, right?

Oh, I want the ability to make, to have freedom.

I want the ability to make my own decisions.

That's great.

That's what success is.

It's not the money, it's what that represents.

And a big house, is it really the house size?

Because I can think of a million reasons why a big house isn't successful.

Like I would have to clean it, right?

And then so it's is it just a place to live?

Is it to be comfortable?

Is it place to entertain your friends?

And then okay, so what is it that you're really looking

for with that as well, right?

Or is it just what society tells you that you have to do?

And so if you go through each one of these metrics, I think you'll become clearer

on what your definition of success is.

And one thing I wanna caveat here too is that definitions of success evolves.

It's never static.

And so, and I think we learn that, right?

If you look back at your kids or as our, at ourselves when we were younger,

it's to get an A in this test or get a, you know, whatever it is, right?

And so we keep evolving and so I think it's so important to remind everyone that,

Wherever they are.

It's always important to keep reevaluating your definition of success.

Does this really hold true for me today?

and there's no judgment on it if you look back and say oh,

I can't believe I used that.

yeah.

But that's what was important to you at that point.

So what is important to you today and how do we, go forward and achieve it?

Yeah, that's part of the journey we're on.

We've got just a few minutes here.

Tell us what you'd like to about the U-C-C-E-S-S.

Either,

either the, which one, what they are, if you wanna hit a high point or two, and

then we'll let people know how they could connect with you and get some

more info and all if they need to.

Absolutely.

So I think as you're going through this process, the U is to

underline, the successes that you've already achieved, and then the C

is to create new success goals.

And I think as you're going through this process, what you'll realize is that your

goals are bigger than anything you've ever been allowed to dream of before or

to even imagine that you can achieve.

And so it's super important to go through this process to understand

where the fears that are coming from.

To really investigate them as well.

It's a lot of self investigation, right?

Like a personal detective to look through and then really to, it's about the

energy that you stay in and I think that it's most important to find what's most

important to us because when we do that, it's like natural fuel is what I call it.

Because you're never gonna wanna give up because there is a value to it that

you see that keeps you moving forward.

And, yeah, that's, that.

I think those are the main points of the success method.

Yeah.

That's very good.

tell us, Jean, you've got a lot of stuff.

You've got podcast, you've got you speak, you coach, you've got this system.

Tell us what you want to about where people c connect with

you, where they could go.

And and then I've got one more question before we wrap up and finish

Yeah, absolutely.

So they can find me on my website.

It's gene tn.com and I'm also active on Instagram and it's at Gene ftn.

So I think those are the two main places that I would, direct people

to if they wanna learn more.

Perfect.

and tell us all that you have available that you really do,

that you like to pour into people with this process and this method.

Yeah, so they, there's a book called Your Success Blueprint

where I walked through basically the entire success process.

And then, there's also, if you want just a quick listen, not to

take time away from Tim's amazing podcast, but I also have one too.

And it's called Being Unapologetically Authentic, where we really just also

start to take the, the scariness away from looking at success in a different

way, similar to your goal here, Tim.

And yeah, I think those are two really good places to start.

There was a good, and here's what a lot of people may love,

because we're 60 minutes usually long.

I went and listened to a couple of Seven minute podcast episodes of yours

yesterday, and one was something that we talk a lot about here, which is

Kind of the anti hustles and grind culture and, and that's a great fit.

I do think, go subscribe and join up

over there and listen in.

Listen in over there, gene, we are seek, go create those three words.

I'm gonna let you choose one of those words.

If you need to consult with Oreo and y'all come up with a team answer, that's fine.

But, seek, go or create, which one of those words resonates

more than the other and why?

Yeah, I think Oreo would agree.

Seeking is most important and it should be of no surprise after

what we just talked about as well.

I think seeking our truth is really truly the first step that we can all

take to create the success that we all have been working so hard for.

Excellent.

Jean, this has really almost been a masterclass of what we started this

podcast for, of redefining success.

I think that what you discussed and what you're doing is so aligned

with what we're doing here at Seat GoCreate, and I appreciate that.

So I highly recommend everyone and thank you for the conversation.

I highly recommend any, anyone, if you've listened in, jump

over to being unapologetic with, is that being unapologetic

uh, it's being unapologetically authentic.

Yes.

authentic.

Yes.

With Jean Tn.

Go check that out and subscribe there.

and look at the success method.

Go to her website and follow her.

I think that'd be a great match for what we're doing here.

We are Seek, go Create.

We have new episodes every Monday.

Until next time, continue being all that you are created to be.