Welcome to Barbecue Nation with JT and Leanne After Hours.

The conversation that continued after the show was done.

Hey, everybody, it's jt.

And this is a special version of Barbecue Nation.

It is brought to you in part by Painted Hills Natural Beef, Beef you can be proud to serve your family and friends.

That's Painted Hills Natural Beef.

Welcome to After Hours, and we've got the legendary John Marcus with us today, and it has been quite a pleasure and honor to talk to him, and we will do it more and more.

I know as the time goes on.

A couple of fun questions I start with here, John, Jeff, am I allowed.

To cuss more on After Hours?

Yeah.

Oh, absolutely.

Wide open.

Wide open, baby.

So the times earlier when I said shitty and fucking, those got beat.

The only.

The only one I made, the only one I made note of was the fucking.

So I had to.

He's writing stars on a piece of paper.

Yeah.

I got a little note and the time and David will bleep that out.

Other than that, everything's good.

Okay, so if we declared you.

If Leanne declared you, put it that way, supreme ruler of barbecue for a week, what would you, as supreme ruler, decree?

That all barbecue should be cooked over wood.

Okay, I like that.

Yeah.

All barbecue should be cooked over wood.

I know it's harder.

It might cost a little more, but it is barbecue, and it needs to have that kind of respect.

That's.

That's a top one.

Sure, sure.

Now, here's one is right near and dear to your heart.

How would you change if any changes food shows on television?

One change I'd make is cancel every fucking one of them.

They.

Honest to God, they suck.

And.

And.

And they're like.

They're.

They're all the same before.

That's right.

They're all the same.

You know Morley Ann on tv?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that's.

That's happening, actually, shortly.

Yeah.

And where are you gonna be?

Where am I gonna see you?

Oh, well, Jeff and I did grilling in the green, and it's work.

A barbecue, and it's in tan.

Well, you know, it's like a golf lifestyle barbecue show.

Oh, fantastic.

What a great idea.

Yeah.

So it's fun.

So it'll be Golf News Network, whose gentleman named Ryan Ballingy owns it, and he's a friend of mine, and he's just cleared Roku, Amazon, Apple, Hulu, and YouTube TV is coming up, so they'll have their own channel on that, and we're part of the lineup, so that's a great idea.

That's a great mixing of the two.

Yeah.

It's not competition, you know, it's just, you know, just having fun at the grill and, you know.

Yeah.

And then we do a profile of somebody in the world of golf.

Not necessarily Tour pros, but people behind the scenes or what have you.

And I didn't tell Leanne this, but yesterday I did another show with the radio version with Charlie Reimer, who's a friend of mine, next Tour player, and now he's works for Hilton, and he's in.

There's a place called the Macklemore down in North Georgia, big resort.

They're just finishing it, and we've been invited to go there, hang out with Charlie and play some golf and check everything out.

So.

Yeah.

So it's all good.

I'm going to my John.

Well, you can invite John.

That way, John Marcus is going to play golf.

Do you play golf?

No, my brothers do, but I've only been out.

Now, the answer should be no.

That's fine.

You should say yes because that's how you get the invite to.

Okay.

Yeah.

Does it mean that I'll be playing golf?

No, you can drive the cart.

You can drive the car.

I'm a great car driver.

There you go.

Okay.

And your choice of beverages.

So there you go.

Yeah.

Okay.

John, if you could cook for and then dine with a historical figure, can be anybody in history, alive or dead.

Alive or dead.

And who would it be and what would be on the menu?

I would want to cook for Sigmund Freud.

Yeah.

You got a definite tie there with your.

I have a tie.

I feel like I'm honorary, you know, and also we.

We share a love of fine cigars.

But that didn't end well for Sigmund.

No.

No.

Well, it could have been the five pounds of coke at one time, too.

That singing.

Had a problem with that stuff.

I don't do, thankfully.

But.

But a fine Cuban cigar.

But.

But I would like to cook for him, so.

To talk about just, you know, the.

Our love of good food and its meaning in our life and that would.

He'd be a good guy to have those talks with.

And, you know, then he'd send me a bill.

But I pay it.

I would pay it.

Yeah.

But it would be 20.

20 francs at the 19, you know, 01 rate.

So.

You're good.

You're good.

I'm making sure my twin.

My twin brother was trying to reach me and I hung up on.

Oh, no problem.

What's one thing you miss about your 20s?

Oh.

I miss my lack of wisdom.

So you think you were smarter when you were 20 than you are now?

I mean, I had a lack of wisdom in my 20s, and I missed being ignorant.

I see.

I miss my ignorance.

Yeah.

I missed, like, because I was charging into things to do things, and I wasn't scared.

Yeah.

Now I have the wisdom, and it's like, oh, I'm not doing that again.

Yeah.

You know, whoever coined that term ignorance is bliss.

They had it figured out.

That's a good.

It's a great saying.

Yeah.

So that.

I know that's a slightly cynical answer, but, you know, definitely that.

And I missed the way I slept.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That is.

That is true.

John, do you remember the first thing you got in trouble for as a kid, if you ever got in trouble?

I sure did.

And involved the.

My twin brother, who we were just talking about.

I got in trouble.

We liked ordering things from the Johnson Smith catalog.

It was called.

It was a novelty catalog out of Indiana, I think, where you get all these little pranks and jokes and things.

And I remember my.

My twin brother and I, we bought a fake dog poop.

Incredibly realistic.

Yeah.

And I remember they called it Doggy Done It.

And we ordered a Doggy Done It.

And we were in Mr.

Morris's math class.

That was sixth grade, and he wasn't there yet.

The class was full, ready to go.

And Stanley put the Doggy done it on Mr.

Morris's desk.

And when Mr.

Morris sat down, I said, while you were gone, a Great Dane was here.

And he didn't react at all.

And huge laughs from the class, which is all that mattered.

We got a big laugh.

He said, I'll see you boys after class.

And we got paddled.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That was Back in the paddle Days.

Back in the paddle days.

And let me tell you something.

I mean, I don't want to sound like, you know, so old school, and I don't want to sound like back to corporal punishment is what we need to go.

I don't really feel that necessarily.

But you learned your lesson.

Learned it.

I still can feel that sting when he gave it to us, so.

Oh, brother.

I got any more dog poop on any other desks?

I.

I'm over 60 years old, and a couple years ago at Christmas, we had a guest here who shall remain nameless.

But I found on the Internet a human version of that.

And when they got up from their chair to go to the restroom, I put it in their chair.

And when they came back, they actually Sat on it and then they hopped up and they were.

It was a great laugh.

I don't think.

I don't think.

I don't think they'll ever come back here.

But it was fun.

Um, what's the biggest change you think that should be made in food advertising, John, if any?

The elimination of highly professional food stylists.

Oh, my God, my sister's gonna kill you.

Cause that's what she does.

You know, that's what she does.

Okay.

With the exception of your sister.

Yeah.

But your sister's one of the good ones, and I'm sure.

Yeah, there you go.

She makes things look real as well as appetizing and appeal feeling.

But I think that I'm in trouble with that.

When I got.

I want to hear the truth anyway.

I want to hear it.

I want to hear it.

Well, I think that when food is starting to look like I'm never going to go to McDonald's and get a burger that looks like it does on the commercials.

Oh, hell, no.

That's what I mean.

I'm referring to that kind of food styling, because we use food stylists on the shows.

We have people come in on the shows, and they help make things look a little better.

You need it.

But, yeah, it's dishonesty.

It's like, you know, in my profession, working on these TV shows, these comedies, laugh tracks.

Yeah.

Styling and laugh tracks are the same.

And let's throw that one in there with it, too.

And then, you know, you don't have as many live comedies anymore, but there are ways to what they call sweeten a TV show where the laughter represents the laughter that you had in the studio when the joke was initially heard.

And we.

We worked really hard to not bump it up.

Gin up the laugh track, we made.

Sure.

But most shows don't do that, so.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, you were saying in the regular show about McDonald's you liked, and you just mentioned it about, you know, like, Egg McMuffin and all that, and the Steve Martin joke.

The one.

And I agree with that, but the one that gets me is Taco Bell.

I mean, their food costs have to be negligible because they've only got seven ingredients that they make everything out of, you know.

And my sister is a food stylist for Taco Bell.

Oh, there you go.

Is she really?

Yeah.

I'm so glad you just stepped in it, Jeff.

I did.

I feel a little better.

Where's that doggy?

Do you send me her number so I can call her and Apologize.

That's all right.

She'll be fine.

John, what's the hardest thing you ever did?

Like, professionally?

Absolutely.

Number one thing that sticks out for you, that goes, damn, that was tough.

Well, I, you know, when and when I say this work was hard, I don't mean to deny the fact that there was joy sometimes in a great sense of accomplishment, because I think anything worth doing is hard.

Anything worth doing is going to be hard.

So I would have to say my week to week on the Cosby show was very challenging because we were working with a moving target.

Often with the story and the writing.

We.

We had to punch up the show until the last minute.

We were constantly.

And the hours were relentless.

So that's, that's what I'd say that was.

It's also people's expectations because it was just so popular and they expected this, you know, the same excellence every single show.

And that had to be stressful.

Yeah.

My mentor in.

In writing comedy, a guy named Earl Pomeranz who worked.

He was the showrunner to begin with on the show before he left.

And we would just kind of stumble across the finish line and the audience would like.

And everything was great about what we got done.

And Earl would turn to me at the end of the taping and he'd say, you know, our, our reward for doing this is we gotta do it again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so.

Because if you're doing something right, you're gonna be asked.

So it is, it is about our sense of personal best and excellence.

And yeah, it's, it's.

But you get a lot out of that, you know, until you get to be a certain age and then you won't.

You don't want that anymore.

No, no, no.

What.

What do you.

What is your favorite movie?

I'll just put it that way.

My.

Oh, my God, I'm going to name a couple because I can't do it.

And here's the way I judge this.

If I'm ever walking by the TV and it's on and this movie's on, or I'm scrolling and I get it, I'll stop and watch.

It can be a film where any moment is a needle drop moment.

Anything that's in the film will get you to sit down and keep watching.

Well, the top one for me is the wizard of Oz.

I.

It's like it was gifted to us by other creatures from somewhere else.

It's such a.

It's a movie about innocence.

It's a humanitarian film.

Humane.

It tells a beautifully crafted story and it was all done without cgi.

I know.

Isn't that something?

They put a tornado in there.

They use.

They use a hose.

They use the ladies hose to make a tornado.

Yeah, it's crazy.

And I defy anyone to find a better tornado anywhere.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Another one.

Another one would be the movie Harvey, a black and white movie made in 1950 from the.

I think it was 50 from the Broadway play that ran for three years and starring Jimmy Stewart and his co star was a six foot tall invisible rabbit.

Yep.

I still have one.

Hangs with me in the studio and.

Well, you know, Jeff, one of the reasons that character saw the rabbit is he did a lot of drinking, you know.

Yeah, well, I kind of cut most of that out of my life, but.

Good.

You know, it's those goddamn flashbacks.

You can't.

Yeah, that.

That's a bad side effect.

Beautiful movie.

And it's about things.

And there are a couple of monologues in that film that get.

Is it still out there where you can see it?

Oh, yeah.

You can look at it on Amazon Prime.

I'm pretty sure that's one of the places I'll look around.

Yeah.

Black and white and old fashioned.

And it's like he's in a small town.

That reminds me of my town as well.

What's the first thing you think about, John, when you get up in the morning?

Besides how much you hurt?

How much I heard and how much I could use another couple of hours.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, the first thought that comes to me, I got another one.

I just think I got another one.

I got.

I got another chance.

Another, another day.

I really think that.

I think like, oh, fuck, I'm up and I'm.

I'm ambulatory and I'm on food.

Yeah.

And I feel pretty good.

Everything's checked out recently, so I apparently am in operating order.

But I don't want to be as corny as saying I feel gratitude because, you know, I'm Jewish.

You don't always feel gratitude.

That's good.

But.

Okay, we got about three more here for you.

I am getting to the age though, where occasionally I wake up and go, where am I?

Yeah, there's that, there's that age.

Yeah.

I'm almost scared to ask this one.

Boxers, briefs or thongs?

Or you can go commando.

I don't.

First of all, why the hell is thongs.

Why, why would you.

Yeah, that's the recent add on.

I don't know why.

That all kind of stemmed from that Chris Lilly interview.

Oh, well, not.

Not that he was wearing.

No, Chris wasn't wearing a thong.

But it just.

My mind just kind of rolled from that one.

So, you know, it all depends on where my weight is.

So I tend to gravitate toward.

It's a mixture of.

If they're called boxer briefs.

Right?

That's what.

That's the popular answer these days.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I.

I need the combo, I think.

And.

And.

And you know what?

There's a term in.

In underwear that I need to bring up right now that I just learned.

And because I like going online and buying, like, you know, I treat myself to something fancy, but this fancy, I won't name the brand.

Sometimes the front just gets a little bit kind of, like, shrivel, like the band.

Yeah.

Jeff, do you have this problem?

And, you know, I'm here.

I'm here.

Well, I mean.

And it has a term.

It's called.

It's called baconing.

Really?

It's called baconing when the front band of your underwear.

That's why I was talking to him.

That's interesting, you know.

Yeah, Baconing.

So I want to leave your audience with that.

I just love the term.

I like that term.

Yeah, I'm going to.

Really.

You don't have any problems with baconing, Leanne, do you?

No, no baconing.

No.

I'm gonna be.

I'm gonna really think twice about ordering a blt, though.

I know.

If, John, if you were an animal, what animal would you be and why?

Oh, my God.

I would be.

I would be a bald eagle.

And.

Or as we used to pronounce it back in Ohio, a bald eagle.

Eagle.

You say eggle in Ohio.

In central, not eagle.

Eggle.

Yeah.

And one of the reasons is because when a ball.

I have one up at my house up in the Hudson Valley, and I noticed that whenever he comes out and lands somewhere, all the birds leave.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

They all go away.

That's a nice feature.

You know, you get kind of lonely as a boy, but.

But that's a nice feature.

Also, I love the way they fly, so I think I would be one of those.

I'll tell you what I wouldn't be.

I wouldn't be a horse.

Yeah.

I wouldn't.

I had a lot of experience with horses, and I think I would pass on that.

What's so bad about a horse?

Just because people ride you because they're kind of dumb.

But it's.

It's more because those legs are fragile.

Stuff can happen.

Yeah.

And also, you're primitive.

You're quite primitive as A horse you have a lot of things from.

I took equestrian for about eight months when I lived in Los Angeles, and I was starting to jump.

And don't ask me why I did this, but, you know, I hadn't discovered barbecue yet, let's put it that way.

Yeah.

And I'm on the horse and we're jumping like four or five inches, and suddenly the horse rolled over and I got thrown clear so it didn't roll on me.

And I went up to the instructor as soon as I dusted myself off and said, okay, why did this happen?

And he said, it happened because you held the riding crop too high.

And when a horse sees it out of the corner of their eye, they think it's a snake.

And their instincts are to roll over on the snake.

That's interesting.

I think that's bullshit.

But anyway.

It might be.

You know, I spent 40 years with horses and I've never heard that.

Well, there you go.

I am glad I got to tell you that story.

There you.

Okay, last question.

What would be your last meal on death row?

Oh, my God.

Well, the main protein would be the 123A's, the beef short ribs, the whole plate flat short ribs.

Okay.

Cooked by Leanne.

Oh, thank you.

I want Leanne to cook them.

I'd bring a bazillion of them so you wouldn't have to complete that death row sentence.

Bring me a lot.

I would just like to have mashed potatoes with that and no vegetables.

There you go.

And I will tell you, John, she makes a kick ass vanilla wafer cheesecake.

You have to try that.

I'm in.

I would have that.

Yeah.

So I'll make that for dessert.

Okay.

There you go.

Thank you.

All right.

John Marcus, Emmy award winning writer, barbecue hall of fame pit master.

God, I'm really glad we got a chance to have you on the show.

I've had so much fun today.

Oh, good.

My pleasure.

It's really good.

And I have to tell you that, you know, the whole time that your picture was up there and I'm looking at these ribs behind you, I just got so hungry.

See, now you've got a hankering for ribs.

So really do subliminal.

It really works.

Like hell.

It's great.

Yeah.

Just don't call Al Frank drinking for his ribs, okay?

Right, right.

Al, to this day, is so pissed at me.

He said, you've made a career out of trashing my ribs and you continue to do so.

I will not stop with my great pleasures.

With great glee, I might add.

Anyway, we got to get out of here, John.

Thank you, Leanne.

Thank you.

And we'll be back next week with another edition of After Hours here on Barbecue Nation.

Go out, have some fun, cook some barbecue.

Remember our motto, turn it, don't burn it, and please take care and be kind.