Hey.

Hey friends.

Welcome back.

This is part two of my three part series on community.

This episode is Talk.

We're going to talk about Biblical hospitality.

What is that and why are we called to do this and why will it actually enrich your life for the better?

Why will it actually bring your heart such fullness and open up yourself to just love and generosity?

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I'm Kristen, an encourager, mentor, entrepreneur, wife and mom, here to uplift, equip and inspire you with faith filled conversations and Biblical wisdom.

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So I want to start off with this quote by Jen Schmidt.

In the book Just Open the Door.

She says hospitality is different.

Biblical hospitality offers our best to him first, understanding that our best to others will then fall in place.

And it says the posture we assume in hospitality is one that bends low, generously offering our heart to another despite whatever interruption to our own plans or comfort.

She also says God tells us to welcome and love the stranger he is, which is God instructed his people to give up their time, energy and whatever meager possessions were on hand, demonstrating hospitality to traveling strangers by feeding and housing them after an exhausting journey.

In the New Testament, hospitality is said to be a distinctive mark of the Christian church.

Early believers took seriously the command to use their homes as a place for extending grace to others.

And then she goes on to explain, paul says in Romans 12:13 pursue hospitality.

The verse doesn't suggest that some people have the gift of hospitality while others lack it.

No, we're all meant to be in the habit of pursuing hospitality.

It's a command to love others well in a tangible way.

And she later in the book explains that we're talking about hospitality, not entertaining.

Entertaining is fine, but that is different.

Hospitality is opening our homes, welcoming people in so they feel safe, safe and comfortable and that you're providing for them.

Just love and grace in an open place to come together.

And let's see, one thing I love and this is really I was going to share it later, but I'm afraid I'll forget.

So he talks about, you know, for a lot of us, welcoming people into your home can be awkward or difficult.

And it were not to say that you have to welcome people into your home.

You could meet people for coffee, you could set up a Meetup, right?

Like an event.

You could meet at the park and have a picnic.

Right.

It's welcoming people in to come together.

It doesn't mean it has to be in your home, although I would encourage you to try doing that, whether it's a group of 2 people, 5 people, 10 people, or whatnot.

And so in her book, she's talking about having people in.

But what I love is her and her friends kind of came up with this thing where they want to see people, but they wanted a little warning.

And so here's what it says in the book.

Julie said, handle drop ins.

I'd love for you to pop in, but send me a broom and bra text.

It says, first enough time to sweep and get fully dressed.

And I love that.

Right.

If you, if you know the people.

Well, I get it.

You're not going to tell someone you've just met to give you a broom and bra, you know, like, heads up.

But she says instead of merely being willing to open our door, do we also need to sometimes walk through it and reach out to people who might not accept the invitation?

Should we go to them if they're never.

If they never venture out to us?

And she said, because maybe there's an invitation waiting to be received at every door, even those we'd never expect.

And I was listening to something that Jenny Allen, she's an author and she's in ministry, said today, actually on her Instagram, it was a clip of her talking at an event.

But she says basically she's talking about people used to bring casseroles over to each other.

And she said, that's how we used to live.

And she goes on to say, that's how we used to take care of people.

He says, now people call that an interruption, an inconvenience.

They don't want to impose or bother people.

But she says this is probably one of the most important things.

We've set such boundaries with all of our relationships.

We don't know what it looks like to love each other anymore.

And she says, we've got to get to know our neighbors.

The need of helping other people facilitates connection.

And she goes on to tell these people, I think she was talking to young people, which is what she's usually.

She's at college campuses and things like that a lot.

So often they're younger people.

And she says, knock on a door the rest of your life, you guys.

This is what we're talking about with hospitality.

Hospitality and also just.

It's the getting to know your neighbors, being part of A community.

Now, I live in a neighborhood in Virginia beach where I do know my neighbors.

I mean, I don't see them every day, but we have group text messages.

We do get together in each other's houses on occasion.

We bring each other Christmas or, you know, Hanukkah or whatever, keys or goodies.

If we have leftovers, we knock on the neighbor's door and drop them off.

We say hello and talk outside from the, you know, on the front driveways.

And I have very close friends in my actual neighborhood.

Not necessarily all, only my port, but this is what I'm talking about.

What does it take to have biblical hospitality?

It means opening your front door and saying hello when you're walking down the street saying hello to the people you walk by.

It's knocking on new neighbors doors and welcoming them and giving them your information and say, if you need anything, let us know.

It takes going back to a way of living that for many of us might not be familiar.

And maybe you live in a town or on a street or in a city that doesn't feel very friendly.

That doesn't mean we should let it change our hearts in our ways to become like the place or the city.

It actually means that our biblical hospitality, our biblical invitation and welcoming of people into our lives will have a bigger impact.

It will let people know, wow, this person, this family, this neighborhood, this community is different.

There's something different about them because we're more Christlike.

Okay, so that's the first thing.

And then I want to share with you a couple things that are from the book Love Lives Here by Maria Goff.

And she says if God is clear about one thing, it's this.

What is good, true, right, and just will last.

Everything else won't.

God points us in the direction of these things and whispers, go, love, serve, help, clothe and feed.

Sure, go to India if that's where he leads.

But if you're not sure, go across the street.

While you're waiting for more clarity, don't get stuck getting ready.

Go draw a 100 foot circle around yourself and go love everybody inside of it.

Figure out what you're passionate about, what you're good at, and what will outlast you.

And then do a ton of that.

Marcus being ready to be used by God and the people around him.

And then she goes on later to say, okay, let's see, I think the world needs more people covered in balloons.

Love and laughter heals our soul and warms our hearts.

No matter who or where you are, all of this was a good reminder to me that inviting people into our lives doesn't start with worry and stress.

It starts with a desire for connection.

Hospitality is always a matter of the heart.

It's not the condition of our homes.

We always felt like it was important for our kids to have great table manners.

In fact, for years we practiced them.

We called it our Good manners Night.

The boys would pull out chairs for the girls and napkins were placed in laps.

We got silverware where it belonged and used several forks in the correct order.

But then she goes on to say, good Manners Night was always followed a few days later with bad manner.

Sight.

There'd be no rolls, no utensils, and lots of sloppy joes and spaghetti eaten with bare hands just for fun.

It's great to know all the manners.

But Jesus didn't ask his friends to just be polite with him.

He wanted them engaged.

We wanted the same for our kids.

And then later, she says, we don't always get it right around our table.

And you won't always get it right around yours.

But we still meet there.

Keep meeting around yours, too.

Be with each other.

Do it often.

Do it intentionally.

Be there together, fully, completely, sacrificially.

And don't forget to bring a few balloons.

You may not end up with a star under your plate, but you'll have a have the aroma of love around your table.

How beautiful is that?

But once again, we're just called to welcome people in.

We're called to do life with other people.

And we're called to just open the door, as Jen Smith says in her book.

And let's see.

Okay, and then in the book Saver by Shauna Nyquist, she says, but entertaining isn't a competition.

It's an act of love.

If you let it be, you can twist it into anything you want.

A way to show off your house, to compete with your friends or.

Or to earn love.

Love and approval.

She goes, or you can decide that every time you open the door.

It's an act of love.

You can decide every time people gather around your table.

Your goal is nourishment, not neurotic proving.

You can decide.

Don't you love that?

And let's see.

In Jen Schmidt's book, I also wanted to share this.

It took only one person willing to unveil her story first to find out it didn't serve as a noose.

It became instead a bridge, A visible gift to all those wondering if they were the only one.

That's become my hosting philosophy behind what's now come to be known as my come as you are nights.

First one I hosted I did, sort of accidentally.

It started out as a get together for young moms from our church, but I'd overloaded my schedule that week and I was exhausted.

When will I learn that activity doesn't equal maturity, but that a busy life's life is not a badge of honor?

Still, I knew I wanted to gather with these sweet ladies and share a bit of my heart, but I didn't want the pressure of deep dive cleaning or any cleaning for that matter, except the bathroom.

That's a must.

Nor did I want to put my cute boots or fix my hair.

And honestly, the thought of chasing the web for some great recipes to test out was a deal breaker too.

I had nothing to prove.

So here was my humble invitation as their church mentor mom later on.

It's a section called Come as you are and she says I was throwing the expectation of perfect out the window.

Come as you are with whatever clothes you'd ordinarily put on after a long hard day of work.

I'm assuming that sweatpants, PJs, no shower, doesn't matter.

And she says when I talked to the lady separately, I inserted bra optional.

And let me just caveat this.

So she's talking about having a group of women over when it just wasn't happening, right?

And she's like, I.

I want to do better.

I want to have people over.

She says, you can bring food if you want, but don't have.

You don't have to.

All failed Pinterest recipes welcome.

No using stoves allowed.

Half eaten bags of chips encouraged.

And if you don't bring anything, that's perfect too.

Unless your love language is homemade chocolate chip cookies, then go for it.

They hate to rob you of that blessing.

Ha.

And that's exactly how they came.

And slippers and sweatpants and teachers and tanks with unwashed hair and unwashed hearts.

And it started something so beautiful we never wanted the night to end.

After food and coffee and sweet tea and sodas and gathered everyone in the family room and we snuggled on sofas as well as on the floor.

I brought out every pillow and fuzzy blanket I owned, even bought a few extras for good measure.

And I spread them out for everyone to grab.

I wanted this to be a safe haven for open conversation, and being cuddled up in a cozy blanket is a perfect start.

It helps rip away the pretenses.

Gift of hospitality is meant to create more than just warm, welcoming spaces, but one that ensures safety.

And here's pretty Much what I said, maybe it'll help you as you think about hosting these kind of gatherings yourself.

One of greatest gifts you can give one another, ladies, is your imperfection.

Your stories are gifts we must share.

We must wrestle past the fine deep, dive into real life, let go of others expectations and allow our authenticity to bond our community.

As Christians, we're not very good at this.

We're happy.

Sharing the hope, glory and grace of Christ.

To share our struggles is difficult.

Yet sharing our mess unwraps the hidden gem of our message.

When we tear down walls and acknowledge our need for grace in our hard moments, his name is elevated.

Jesus used stories to connect with us through his throughout scripture.

Sharing your stories can point to him.

How good was that?

Okay, and I wanted to share with you another scripture and then I also want to share with you a handful of ideas of how we can extend an invitation to people, how we can create more connections with others, build community, and how we can practice more biblical hospitality, you know, in real tangible ways.

Okay, so for scripture, okay, it's Hebrews 10, 24 and 25, and it says, and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.

Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

But look at what it said in the middle.

Not neglecting to meet together.

Friends, we are meant to live in community.

And I think I started to say this earlier, but there was.

There's two things that we were for sure designed for.

And it's community, right?

Connection with others.

And it's connection with God.

Right?

That's why no matter what we do to achieve, to strive to get a bigger award, bigger paycheck, whatever the thing might be, we don't feel fulfilled when we hit it.

We feel fulfilled when we feel connection in love with, you know, doing life with other people and having a connection to our hot.

The higher power, right?

The person that created heavens and earth.

And so it's just so important to remember that context.

And so here are a couple ways that we can all live out this act of loving our neighbors, you know, in our own lives and having more hospitality to having what we're called to do, which is to open our hearts and homes.

And actually Romans 12:13 really makes us clear.

Sometimes you see the first part of the scripture and sometimes it's just the short part, but it says share what you have with saints so they will lack nothing.

Take every opportunity to open your life and home to Others.

It's one of my favorite scriptures because that one statement, take every opportunity to open your life and home to others.

It is a call in Romans for us to open our doors and to open our hearts.

Yes, to do life with each other, to be vulnerable with each other, to be accepting of each other, and to give each other grace, race.

We are not there to judge or condemn.

We are there to love one another.

We are there to show them love, kindness, and to share what we have with them.

Okay, so here are a couple things we can do to love our neighbors better or well and show more hospitality.

One is invite people into your life, even if you're shy, even if that's hard for you.

Brainstorm.

Come up with ideas.

There are so many books on this.

I'm happy to recommend some for you.

You know, I talked about find your people.

There's a book called Taste and See, which I'm going to share something from in a little bit.

One's called Just Open the Door.

There's another one called the Simplest Way to Change the World.

And these are all ones I own.

Love lives.

Here's a great one.

There's another one called the Turquoise Table.

It's a lovely, beautiful concept where the author starts.

She paints a picnic table, aqua and puts in her front yard.

And so she regularly invites people into her front yard for coffee in the morning, teas in the afternoon.

But it's a way to stand an invitation to people without having to open your actual home.

Some of us might not want to entertain in our homes, but we can have a backyard barbecue.

You can meet for coffee at a coffee shop.

You could go on a walk with a woman or a group of women or a couple.

Okay, so the first thing is invite people into your home and be intentional about it.

This does not happen by accident.

And there are friends of mine and myself that we tend to be the people that invite people in.

And we have friends that don't do that.

That's okay.

But we're all technically called to show hospitality.

So figure out for you what works.

What are you able to step out of your comfort zone and do?

The next idea is start up a conversation with someone.

Start being the person that looks people in the eyes and smiles, says hello, gives them a compliment, or says, hey, you know, I keep seeing you at the carpal pickup line or at church in the coffee area, or we keep running into each other on our.

Our daily walks, whatever it might be, and just say, hey, you know, I.

I just wanted to ask you a question or Maybe invite a group of neighbors over for a Bible study.

Maybe invite them over for morning coffee and pastries.

Like I said, it doesn't have to be in your house.

It could be in your neighborhood, at your local park that's in your neighborhood.

Make a new friend.

Yes, it's hard, and yes, I get it.

It's.

It's a lot harder as an.

As an adult and.

Well, I mean, it is and it isn't.

It is because you have to put in more time and maybe you have more commitments.

In the next part of this series, we're going to talk more specifically about friendship and making adult friends.

Talk to the person sitting alone at an event.

I was just at the soccer dinner for high school varsity soccer and JV soccer, and I talked to several parents there that I've never met before.

It's because I was willing to be uncomfortable for a minute to just say, hey, I'm so and so.

Right?

And my kid is so and so.

Who.

Nice to meet you.

You know, we strike up a conversation.

Some of them, I won't see much because their son might be in jv, so they play games different nights, but they don't know anybody else either.

And they feel more uncomfortable than I do because my son's older and I know a lot of the people at the event already because I've been there and done it before.

Okay.

Be vulnerable.

Be open.

Go say hello.

Give others what you need.

When you feel awkward, you feel uncomfortable, you feel like you don't have a friend.

The way that we get those things is by being the friend, by being more friendly, by being open hearted, by being willing to cross the aisle or the table to say hello.

Okay.

Bring someone cookies, a casserole, like Jenny Allen said, a note.

Garden tomatoes.

When you have extra produce in the summer, bring them clipped flowers from your garden.

You don't have to spend money, but you can let someone know, I was thinking about you.

This works really well for friends of yours, if you have some friends, but also for neighbors that you regularly see them coming or going.

Maybe you don't know everything about them, but you know enough that maybe they were on your heart.

Maybe you saw them and it looked like they were having a hard time working on their car or they were getting home late every night recently.

Whatever it might be, just go and check.

Show a gesture of kindness to someone and keep doing it day in, day out, or at least weekend and week out.

Okay?

So there's so many ways for us to do this.

And if you still feel like this is just a lot for me.

Then talk to a couple people, you know, close friends or acquaintances, and say, hey, I'd really like to start something, right?

Maybe it's just monthly to start with.

It could be a book group, you know, club.

It could be a dinner club.

It could be just meeting for coffee, meeting for a walk.

But become brave not only because God's calling us to do it, but also ask someone else to be your co pilot or your co conspirator to bring people in to invite others.

Maybe you need someone else to hold your hand, if you will, to.

To extend the invitation.

That's okay.

Start it with another person or a few other people, right?

Much like Ecclesiastes 4, nine talks about two are better than one.

Well, do it in a group.

That's absolutely okay.

Okay, so I think, oh, and then I wanted to share with you.

Sometimes food, right?

Or coffee or whatever it might be puts everybody at ease because there's something to do with our hands.

And everybody, for the most part, likes food.

Now I get it.

Sometimes our events revolve around really unhealthy food all the time.

There's no healthy options.

And I get how that can be a struggle for some people.

Or you have somebody that maybe is gluten free or vegan.

I get all that.

But if we can just set that down for a minute.

In the book Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg, she starts out the book kind of describing a season where they've been busy and a couple had invited them over for dinner and they're worn out and probably kind of feeling like, oh, I wish we could have just canceled.

And then she goes on to say what transpires as they showed up, or what can happen when meal is served, the aromas fill the room and whatnot.

And she goes on to explain what happened on one particular night and what hospitality actually means.

Let's eat and get out of here as quickly as we can, I whispered to Leif as we unbuckled our seatbelts.

Red grew with each step along the cobblestone path.

But there was no going back now.

Leif stopped short of the door and looked at me as if to say, go on, dear.

You got us into this.

My best hope was to get the evening over with so I could return to bed in my pajamas.

I gripped the door knocker, counted to three, and forcibly transformed my Grimm grimace into what I hope to be a believable.

He says.

The door swung open.

Matthew and Ashley enveloped us in hugs as if we were prodigal children returning home.

The air around us rearranged and with it, our attitudes.

Leaf and I found a home that night, against our wills, no less.

These many years later, I still can't explain how it happened.

Maybe it was a soothing flicker of candlelight or the broken in couch that swallowed us whole.

Nevertheless, our hearts stilled and the time became irrelevant.

She later says about that evening.

Yep, Leaf and I were definitely prodigy children.

Every meal prior to this one, during our marathon season of work suddenly felt like pig feed.

Our hearts weren't brought back to life because the dinner was swanky or exclusive.

Our hearts revived because the food was intentional and curated with love.

The meal nourished my soul in places I didn't realize I was starving.

And then she explains what happened at the end of that night.

He says the four of us talked late into the evening.

I didn't want to leave.

By the time we said goodbye, a spiritual bond had been formed.

We had arrived cranky, sore and exhausted, but left satiated in our bellies and hearts together, we had enjoyed the gift of food, the gift of togetherness, the gift of presence, as Christian Morgenstein might say.

We came home and the author explains that she wrote the book because, as she shared about this evening, this remarkable, remarkable meal she had with this couple, friends of her shared remarkable meals that they had right when they were in other people's homes or around the world.

And what she said is, I saw a pattern unfolding before me that I couldn't ignore.

The stories were different, but the theme remained the same.

God had been intentional.

In each gathering, we use these encounters to uncover deep need and satiate a deep hunger.

I just think that's so beautiful.

And it just goes to the heart of biblical hospitality because it is about enveloping your guests, the people that you are sitting with or sharing with.

It's enveloping them with love, with an openness, no pretense.

It is allowing them to come in and accepting.

Accepting them as they are for who they are and having a safe space for connection and conversation and fellowship is what biblical hospitality is all about.

And that is what we're called to do in some way.

Okay, in Taste and See, Margaret also shares what it means, what hospitality means.

I want to share that hospitality has a hidden power that is difficult to explain but even harder to deny.

You can wake up cranky and sore.

The mere whiff of Mom's holiday sticky buns can bring your shoulders down from around your earlobes.

Or you find yourself drowning in loneliness.

And just as tears well, in your eyes.

The phone rings and a new friend invites you over for a hot beverage and a bowl of fresh berries.

One moment, the world could burn to dust for all you care.

And in the blink, and in a blink, it is sacred ground.

And as she wraps up the book, I want to share this with you as well.

God is waiting around every table, in every pantry, in every backyard garden.

You just need some fresh ingredients, some time and a friend or two.

No matter where we find ourselves, meal times can become sacred spaces of supernatural satisfaction.

When we invite God in, he satiates our hunger to know and to be known, to understand and to be understood, to love and to be loved.

In community, God touches our physical appetites and spiritual affections.

Whenever we gather to eat, whether in a tricked out kitchen or seated in a borrowed chair with food atop our laps, God is there because all food ultimately comes from Him.

Yes, God waits in Galilee, but the shores of all our lives are strewn with displays of God's miraculous power.

As we break bread, we find the satisfaction of our deepest hungers in the community our souls crave.

As we share our lives, we taste and see God's fruitfulness.

And when we're tempted to lose heart, and we all will be, we find courage in listening to and participating in the stories of God's rescuing ways.

Every table is a doorway, an entrance into a holy and sacred communion with God and those around us.

In the midst of a busy life, we can all create a space to taste and seek God's goodness.

This begins by recognizing food as a gift from God instead of as a commodity.

Every meal time is an opportunity to be on the lookout for Christ, to reveal himself in surprising ways.

We can all pause in order to pay attention to the one who has provided the food before us.

Okay, now that I've shared with you several thoughts, many different authors, scripture, and then some actual steps that you can take to, to invite others in, to be a good neighbor, to begin to be, you know, to make new friends, and to practice biblical hospitality.

I just want to wrap up today and say we all just commit to doing two things differently in the coming weeks.

Let's commit to shifting one small habit we have.

So if you're somebody that always has earbuds in on your way to work, if you take transportation, or if you're, you know, going on a walk and you rarely get to talk to somebody, or maybe it's signing up to go to a new class, like, just commit to doing one thing different either in your daily life or getting to do one thing different this month and then commit to one other thing.

Can you invite someone in can you invite someone to something to go with you to something?

Like I said, it does not have to be in your home, although that's a lovely gesture and I I definitely encourage can be in your front yard, it can be at a coffee shop, it can be at the park closest to your house, whatever it might be.

So if we all committed to changing just a little bit, shifting just a little bit, opening our hearts, just enough world would be changed because so many of us would be showing up in a slightly different way.

We would be Christians showing up with open hearts and open hands and offering an invitation to do life together.

Until next time and until part three when we talk about friendships.

I hope you have a beautiful and blessed week, friends.

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