Trish: [00:00:00] Hey mama. Welcome back to the Birth Experience with Labor Nurse Mama. I'm Trish, your favorite high risk labor nurse of 16 years. Mom to seven, six of whom were born unmedicated. Three of those were inductions. So yeah, I've lived through birth on both. Sides of the bed. Today's episode is really important to me, and we are going to go there because there's this irony that has been living rent free in my head.

Women, we are out here fighting tooth and nail for autonomy, for our rights, for our voices to be heard in healthcare and politics and beyond. But then we get pregnant and somewhere between peeing on that darn stick and showing up to our 36 week appointment, we morph into the Yes, ma'am. Yes sir. Whatever you think is best patient and that, that is a problem, a big one.

So pour yourself a cozy [00:01:00] cup of raspberry leaf tea and let's chat about it.

I see it all the time. A badass woman walks into l and d, college, educated, career savvy, big opinions on all sorts of things, but yet she puts on her hospital gown and she doesn't question a single I. Thing she's afraid of, and I'm putting up quotes, being difficult, afraid of being labeled that patient like girl.

Since when did having a choice make you difficult? And listen, I'm not blaming you. We've been raised to defer to authority. We've been conditioned to be good girls. This episode might get me in trouble. I hope not, but that's okay. But birth, birth is not the time to be quiet and agreeable. Birth is your moment.

It's your body, it's your baby, it's your birth experience. And you only get one shot at birthing this [00:02:00] baby. And in case you need to hear someone say it plain, someone who was a 16 year high risk labor and delivery nurse, I'm gonna say it. You do not have to ask permission to say no now. Inside of my courses, I also have a mantra that I say, yes, you don't refuse just because you can.

You need to refuse because you're educating. You understand it's not about just having your rights, it's about being knowledgeable and exercising them. If this is already hitting you deep, I want you to go back and listen to episode 46. What's really behind your fear of birth and how to reclaim your power.

It's all about unraveling that fear that keeps us playing small during pregnancy. So I want you to imagine this. You walk into a room, it's bright, it's sterile, you're half naked. There's a doctor, a nurse, a computer, and they're all talking fast using words you've never heard. They say, we need to induce you.

Your baby's too big. We're just gonna break your water. Let's go ahead and get you an [00:03:00] epidural. Let me check your cervix. Oh, you're not progressing, and you're sitting there breaking through a contraction, trying to remember what your mom's friend said about Pitocin. So you nod and you say, okay. Not because it feels right, not because you know it's right, but because it's what they said you need to do.

Let me tell you something, I need you to tattoo on your heart. Just because they offer it doesn't mean you have to take it. Again, if you need some more tools on how to ask better questions and get real answers, go to to episode 41, which talks all about advocating yourself.

Really bookmark that one. Okay. Because it's, it's a really powerful one. So here's where we're going to flip the script. Autonomy isn't something you just magically summon during labor. It's something you build throughout pregnancy. That means at your next OB appointment, I want you to practice sane. What are the benefits and risks of that?

Is this medically necessary? Can I take some time to think about it? [00:04:00] Get your practice. That little muscle, right? Even the last one, can I take a moment? Is a complete sentence. You don't need a whole TED Talk to justify anything. Your provider works for you. Your labor nurse works for you, the hospital.

Works for you. Your birth space should be collaborative, not a dictatorship. You deserve a seat at the table. It's your damn table. Not because you have a medical degree, but because you are the one birthing an actual factual human. I am so fired up, y'all. Now if you're sitting there thinking, okay, Trish, but I don't feel confident.

I don't know what questions to ask. I don't even know what I want, mama. That's exactly why I created the number one. Number one online birth class for women who want to feel like a freaking goddess. The birth queen walking into her birth, not a scared girl, hoping for the best. This isn't just videos and PDFs, it is a class that goes [00:05:00] beyond the basics.

We meet live three times a month on Zoom, so you're not just learning, you're talking with me, my doulas, hearing other mom's stories. Working through your questions and getting so darn confident and prepared that you walk into your birth like a boss. Because when you hear advice in real time and you talk through real issues and you realize you're not alone, it changes everything.

You're not googling at 2:00 AM or drowning in Reddit threads. You're educated, you're supported, you're empowered, and I've got the link in the show notes for you to check out And yes. Most of the time you can pay with HSA or FSA, and we can also get you reimbursed by most insurances. Here's where we miss it.

Friends, we think we'll magically become this empowered queen during labor. But s spoiler alert, you won't, not unless you've practiced, your voice gets stronger the more you use it. So at your next appointment, ask one question, say something like, I'd like to talk [00:06:00] about that more. Or maybe even say, what are my other options?

These little reps build the muscle of autonomy and they help you identify if your provider is really for you or just expecting you to be a good little girl and super compliant. Here's the deal. You don't have to walk into birth scared. You don't have to be quiet. You don't have to hand over your power because someone says, that's just how we do it. That's the, that's our policy.

You get to write this story and you don't have to do it alone. I. You do not have to do it alone. You need to learn how to respond, how to pivot, how to make powerful informed choices no matter how your birth unfolds. Every time we meet live with our mamas, I watch them throughout this process go from anxious to excited, from unsure, to unstoppable.

So join the birth classes. Stop putting around, come hang out with us and let's make your birth story one that you will be so proud of. Girl, you have the right, this is your body. This is your [00:07:00] baby. This is your birth experience. I'm gonna say that over and over again. If you don't know your options, you don't have any and you don't get to redo this birth.

And I get so many moms who come to me for their second, their third, their fourth birth, just like me. Their first birth felt like it happened to them. That they weren't a part of it, and I do not want that with you guys. I love y'all so much. I am so passionate about changing this birth culture, not just for you guys, but for my own daughters, for my daughter-in-laws, because I don't want you guys to go through what I had happened to me and what I've seen.

Seen thousands of women go through, we can't do this anymore. We have to stand up and bring that power into the birth room.

All right, love. That's it for today's episode. Super little shorty, and if this resonated with you, send it to your bestie, share it on your stories, and hit subscribe and turn on your notification so you never [00:08:00] miss a chance to feel more empowered about your birth. Write a review today and tell me how this landed for you.

I wanna hear, does this make sense or does it. Scare you or you like hell yeah. Remember, you have a right to your voice, your power, and your birth. Let's make it one you own.