Hello and welcome to Haverin About, our brand new podcast where we mix stories, strategy,
and a bit of Scottish-style blethering.
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I am Bethany.
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and I'm Stuart.
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Wonderful.
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And we are your hosts for this very special episode.
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So, um, if you haven't listened to the previous episodes, you should.
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They're on Apple and Spotify and YouTube and all those lovely places.
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Um, but we are both healthcare technologies, sales professionals, and that's what we
primarily talk about on this podcast.
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However, this is a very special episode for those of you who don't know Stuart personally,
he in
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The spring of 2023 underwent a double lung transplant, which is a huge miracle of
medicine.
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mean, truly that, and we will echo and repeat this repeatedly, I'm sure throughout the
show.
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We are so thankful to Vanderbilt University Medical Center, to the donor family who
donated dad's lungs that are now in him and breathing and moving and keeping him alive.
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and to all of the scientists and medical professionals that have come before who have
pioneered this technology and finessed it and made it the wonderful, wonderful technology
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that it is today.
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So.
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it's particularly appropriate that we're going to be dropping this episode to make it live
around the time of October the 9th, 2025, which has been declared National Lung Transplant
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Awareness Day.
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And really, the purpose of that, aside from celebrating, number one, people who have gone
through this, number two,
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the many, many professionals who are involved in our care.
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Number three, the many, many people in our support network, but more importantly, the
donors and the donor's family oh to be respectful of them.
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And the purpose that the Lung Transplant Foundation announced this day was really to bring
attention to the tremendous outcomes and impact that lung transplant surgery has so that
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If you were ever on the fence about considering volunteering to be an organ donor, then
this is your opportunity to hear a little bit about what that impact is.
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And actually, this is going to be a two-parter because I have some friends that I have
made during my journey.
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In fact, one of them I knew previously, and it just coincided that we both ended up with a
lung transplant.
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And others I've met on my journey.
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So we're going to be interviewing them and then next week we'll be really profiling their
stories so you can hear a little bit more diversity other than just Stuart droning on
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about his story.
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Exactly.
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And just like we always ask you to like and comment on this, especially this very special
podcast episode, please subscribe to our podcast.
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We have an additional call to action today, which is please register to be an organ donor.
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We will repeat this again throughout the podcast episode.
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But if you go to registerme.org, you can make sure that you're signed up.
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usually when you sign up for your driver's license, you can sign up.
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It is a wonderful, wonderful gift that you can give even after you die.
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It's really remarkable.
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and you can, we'll be putting a number of different links in, but there is a national one
that is provided by the federal government to direct you for your state as to where the
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correct place is.
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But there's another fantastic organization called Donate Life, who will actually help
guide and they promote inside the various states of the United States.
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For our international viewers, particularly those in the UK, I'm also going to
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provide a link that will take you to the NHS link to ensure that you can register your
intentions.
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In the UK, slightly different in that there's basically a prior consent, but it still is
very difficult for a lot of the hospitals to challenge that.
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So they rely very heavily on the register of intent that is out there.
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So if you intend that you do want your organs to be made available,
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then it really helps the hospitals by knowing that you're on that register.
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we'll put in the description a link that actually takes that through for our friends back
in the UK.
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Absolutely.
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So we are going to start this episode by talking a little bit about dad's story and kind
of, especially kind of the, month or two prior, as well as the, you know, recovery and
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where we are now two and a half years later.
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And then in the second half, we're going to talk a little bit about the impact that
something like this has on the family, but also, you know, as a health technology sales
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professional.
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What happens when you yourselves are completely pulled out of action for months?
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And what happens if your family member is pulled out of action and you suddenly have to
step up, you know, in so many ways, emotionally, physically, financially, and kind of the
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impact that that makes and a few lessons along the way.
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And then in our next episode, we are very blessed to have some of our new friends share
their stories as well.
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So we really encourage you to listen to that.
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Again, we all work in healthcare.
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We know that we wake up every day and it doesn't matter what you're selling, whether it's
an EHR, a clinical app or RevCycle or data, you are making the wheels of healthcare move
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and making something as frankly ridiculous as a double lung transplant actually happen.
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It's really remarkable.
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So Dad, do you maybe want to give a not too rambly long version?
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Because I know there is a sub stack ah on Dad's Haveren sub stack.
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He gets into all the timeline and the details.
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If you really want to get in the weeds, we will put a link.
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But do you maybe want to give a Cliff Notes version of the, maybe not highlights,
lowlights?
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Yeah, no, absolutely.
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And I think that I will try to make that as concise as possible because I think it is
important that if you do want to hear that story or read that story, it's available in the
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sub stack.
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The other thing is one of the guests that I have for next week's podcast is a lady called
Jenny McFarlane.
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Jenny has a podcast of her own
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They invited as a guest to participate on her podcast and she's under 155 episodes.
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All stories of people who have received a transplant.
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You'll hear Jenny's story next week, but she interviewed me and I went and looked and my
episode is one of the longest she has.
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It's an hour and 20 minutes.
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You don't need to listen to an hour and 20 minutes, but again, we'll put the link there
for those who would like to get a flavor of what Jenny's storytelling style is.
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And you'll obviously hear her story herself next week.
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She also was a lung transplant recipient.
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But in terms of the course of my disease, it was very unusual and quite short compared to
a lot of people who have pulmonary or breathing problems.
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I started and probably, you know, like twenty nineteen.
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I started to have some breathing problems, but I put it down to, was obese, I was out of
condition, I wasn't looking after myself.
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I'd done a big effort to get fit, leading up to Bethany's wedding in 2017, and then, like
all of us, I fell off the wagon and started doing all the bad things again.
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But I put it down to that and I thought, well, no, no, it's fine.
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Then early in 2020, yes, that period of time during the pandemic,
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I suddenly became more breathless than I had been.
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And one evening I was in a hotel in Nashville.
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I'd been having a sales team meeting and I just suddenly, it was like a wall fell on my
chest.
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I couldn't get breath.
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I just couldn't breathe at all.
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And I ended up managing to rally myself, got myself dressed and ended up in the emergency
department at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
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And at first, of course, immediate concern was, has he got COVID?
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Then they thought it was pulmonary embolism.
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But ultimately, I saw the pulmonologist, and they diagnosed that I had inflammation in the
outer edges of my lung tissue, something that's called interstitial lung disease.
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And it's basically, it's the tissue where the blood oxygen and carbon dioxide transfer
happens.
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So that's why I was having trouble breathing is basically my blood was screaming for
oxygen and I wasn't able to provide enough to them.
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So I was investigated for that.
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They looked at all the different reasons and they ended up describing it as idiopathic,
which is basically medical terminology for, we don't know.
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They literally could, nope.
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You know, we've,
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been exposed to anything, obviously haven't worked in kind of hazardous environments or
anything other than, know, sales review rooms.
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That's a hazardous environment.
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But no, seriously, no real reason as to why I would have ended up with that tissue damage.
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So anyway, I progressed forward.
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I was being treated.
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I was on low doses of steroids.
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It helped me.
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I got fitter.
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had to rely on oxygen from time to time, but on the whole, I was very fit.
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But in the early days of March of 2023, I suddenly became very ill.
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Like within...
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so we drove up, we live just south of Atlanta.
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And we drove up to just outside Nashville where mom and dad used to live.
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think like the first weekend in March or something like very early March and you were
like, you had a cough, but you were fine.
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Right.
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know, what had been going on with my lungs, but yeah.
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and then it just kind of all went to crap.
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the space, yeah.
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And so it started with, uh I got a bit breathless again.
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And I actually went to the ED at my local Vanderbilt facility in the little town that we
lived in uh just outside Nashville.
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And they admitted me because they could tell, obviously, something was going on.
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And they put it down as, have a pneumonia.
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We can see some congestion in the imaging.
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You have pneumonia and we'll treat you for the pneumonia.
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And then three days on IV antibiotics and you'll be out of here and just continue the
course home.
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So I was discharged, followed up with my pulmonologist and they said, well, great, we'll
see you next week.
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Well, by the weekend, I was going downhill very rapidly.
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And from the Saturday morning, had taken Sarah, my wife, to the airport because she
actually was coming down to look after our granddaughter.
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for Bethany.
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And so she was already down in Atlanta and I got home and sort of like crashed out on the
sofa and started watching TV.
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But by the end of the Saturday afternoon, I had to go to bed and I was on oxygen lying in
bed.
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And my sats, I obviously was living with a pulse oximeter and my sats just were going down
and down.
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So ultimately about eight o'clock at night, my son said, dad, we're all out of weapons.
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I'm calling the EMS.
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And EMS rushed me to Vanderbilt.
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They immediately put me on this amazing machine, which I could go on for hours about,
which is called a high flow oxygen system.
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And the particular one is a Fisher&Paykel uh OptiFlow is what it's called.
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And it just delivers massive amounts of oxygen into your nasal cavities through a special
big extra wide cannula type thing.
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We'll put some images up and that will give you an idea of what that looks like.
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But the oxygen is coming through a high volume, uh relatively high pressure.
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It's heated because at that pressure oxygen is incredibly cold.
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So they heat it and they also humidify it because it's incredibly dry.
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So it would like destroy the cell linings of your nose, for example.
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So I'm on that and that felt immediately better and I thought, oh, good.
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They've got some treatment for me and we'll be here from there.
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And so I was admitted to a medical ICU at the medical center.
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fast forward, yep.
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Yes.
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Which is why mom was in, yep.
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helping with my daughter.
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They didn't tell me any of this, which again, it goes back to, well, no, we're a great
family.
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But it is really tricky, you know, that sort of like, at what point do you really tell
everybody?
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What point if you're on a work trip, do you come home?
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if either you're the sick person or your loved one is the sick person.
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And so, yeah, I was,
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when it's not, okay, I'll just get the next one and a half hour flight back from New York
or something like that.
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It involves international travel.
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Yeah.
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And I think that was our attitude was, yeah, dad's in the hospital.
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He's going to be all right.
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We'll tell her when she gets back.
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um Anyway, so I get tons of investigations during that time, but it's obvious I'm becoming
sicker and sicker.
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and that the steroids and antibiotics weren't cutting it.
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That wasn't what was going on.
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And on the Wednesday morning, so from the Saturday to the Wednesday morning, you get the
ICU crew, the rounding crew come in and the medical director, who had gotten to know
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reasonably well by then of the medical ICU, was standing there and he said, Mr.
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Miller, I'm terribly sorry.
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We are not going to be able to save your lungs.
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You have about 15 % viable tissue left to transfer oxygen into your body.
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So we are going to list you for a lung transplant.
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literally drop the mic because I had no concept that that was anywhere in my future.
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Yeah.
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shocked.
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were like, but he's doing better.
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What's going on?
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and I wasn't even in a position to call Sarah or any of the family at that point because I
was, genuinely, I was the most shell-shocked I've ever been in my life.
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I went in a hole.
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I felt very sorry for myself.
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I was just distraught.
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And I immediately started thinking, how do I tell them?
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What's going to happen to them?
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if I don't come through this, what's gonna happen to them all?
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Because I'm the sole breadwinner for the family in terms of Sarah and myself and Bethany's
brother.
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And so from that perspective, I was really starting to do that.
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Then I kicked myself in the butt.
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About four hours later, I said, you're being...
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of four hours, well, I'm slightly worse than wallowing.
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I mean, I genuinely was in a real depressing hole.
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But I kicked myself in the butt and said, it's a problem, problems can be solved.
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What are we gonna do?
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So I immediately dropped into, all right, how are we gonna get through this?
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What are we gonna do?
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What's next, et cetera.
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And I started, I became the worst Dr.
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Google ever in the world because I immediately started going, don't do that.
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It's scary when you, if you just go and randomly search and you know, feel free to do it
if it's not something that's affecting you.
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But if you go and randomly search, you know, lung transplant, life survivability and
things, you get scary, scary information.
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And we're going to sort of disavow some of that or at least give you context to it as we
talk both in this episode and in the next one with my friends.
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But I immediately started to try and be
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you know, scientific about it.
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I've got medical background.
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I understand some things.
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I can work out other things and I can ask intelligent questions of my providers, etc.
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So I immediately started going through and coming up with, OK, what's the plan?
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What do we need to do here?
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Now, normally for a lung transplant, you have to do a big battery of tests and
evaluations.
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I mean, the cardiac cath your heart, they check out your heart from the inside.
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to work out is his heart up for being able to handle this if we give him a new set of
lungs, et cetera, et cetera.
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And they want to rule out that you don't have cancer.
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They want to rule out everything.
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So I had to have the most comprehensive examination that you can ever manage and all
transplant patients.
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yeah, they're full MOT.
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Which I think that was very interesting because normally,
211
00:17:33,789 --> 00:17:42,444
for patients who being considered for a lung transplant who are not in ICU dying
immediately, that can take a couple of weeks that you have to go through that process.
212
00:17:42,444 --> 00:17:47,687
Because obviously scheduling all these different interventions and diagnostics, et cetera.
213
00:17:47,687 --> 00:17:53,789
They did that in five days and then said, right, OK, we've got all of the data now.
214
00:17:53,789 --> 00:17:55,490
We need to score you.
215
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:59,282
We'll discuss it at the committee, local committee in Vanderbilt.
216
00:17:59,282 --> 00:18:00,192
And then
217
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:03,597
there will be a decision to list you.
218
00:18:03,697 --> 00:18:08,598
And then after you're listed, then it will come the matching process.
219
00:18:08,598 --> 00:18:11,159
And that can take some considerable time, at least.
220
00:18:11,159 --> 00:18:12,500
That's what they told me at the time.
221
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:24,630
And we got to the point whereby it was like, okay, my favorite clinician, physician came
in and she basically sort of like big grin on her face and said, they approved you to be
222
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listed.
223
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,422
So we're listing you this evening.
224
00:18:27,463 --> 00:18:31,188
And that was on, I think it was the Tuesday evening.
225
00:18:31,370 --> 00:18:33,462
So that's the week that had gone by.
226
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,982
of health in Nashville.
227
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,644
So I was in Nashville.
228
00:18:37,644 --> 00:18:42,267
I'd come back from the UK, found out dad needed a double lung transplant.
229
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:49,773
Had landed back home and like the next week or something drove up to health and yeah.
230
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And it was end of quarter, end of year for the company I was in at the time.
231
00:18:53,126 --> 00:18:56,201
Yeah, it was busy.
232
00:18:56,201 --> 00:19:02,284
that I think that understanding that context of what the family are going through is
really important.
233
00:19:02,284 --> 00:19:06,706
I'd like Bethany to really delve into that in a second.
234
00:19:06,706 --> 00:19:11,638
So to continue the story, they listed me the very next morning.
235
00:19:11,638 --> 00:19:13,979
So that was Wednesday evening.
236
00:19:13,979 --> 00:19:16,701
She comes and tells me that Katie Anne.
237
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:20,403
The very next morning she comes in.
238
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:31,053
with her colleague and they basically, this is the pulmonology team and says, I don't want
you to get your hopes up, but we think we've found a match.
239
00:19:31,053 --> 00:19:32,974
And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait.
240
00:19:32,974 --> 00:19:34,124
No, you just listed me.
241
00:19:34,124 --> 00:19:35,915
What do mean you found a match?
242
00:19:35,915 --> 00:19:40,798
She said, don't ask, but we're pretty certain this is a good match.
243
00:19:40,818 --> 00:19:42,420
And I went, okay.
244
00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:46,242
And maybe another time, maybe next week we can talk a little bit about
245
00:19:46,242 --> 00:19:57,762
um, that the mechanics around that, because there, there's a scoring that takes place, you
know, when you go through all those evaluations, uh, and it had just changed nationally,
246
00:19:57,762 --> 00:20:02,821
literally 10 days before they were doing this process with me and just changed.
247
00:20:02,962 --> 00:20:12,562
Um, so anyway, they tell me that they think the found tissue, but they can be false
alarms, that they are, the organs might not be suitable.
248
00:20:12,742 --> 00:20:15,042
There might be all kinds of challenges.
249
00:20:15,042 --> 00:20:16,346
Um, but
250
00:20:16,522 --> 00:20:19,103
let's you know let's proceed.
251
00:20:19,383 --> 00:20:28,369
So later that day Thursday evening she comes back in and she says okay we've dispatched a
team to Phoenix Arizona.
252
00:20:28,369 --> 00:20:41,806
I mean I'm just absolutely stunned at the speed of all of this is happening and they
literally you know they use private private life flight planes to go and transport
253
00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:44,727
organs, I'm sure you've all heard the stories of this.
254
00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:53,930
And they flew to Phoenix, Arizona and sadly my donor had passed away a couple of uh hours
before they were alerted.
255
00:20:53,930 --> 00:21:06,894
And uh the surgeons who did my surgery actually go and harvest the organs because they
need to check them out before they bring them away just in case there's something that's
256
00:21:06,894 --> 00:21:08,907
not suitable for their...
257
00:21:08,907 --> 00:21:11,168
recipient that they're going to deal with.
258
00:21:11,529 --> 00:21:14,660
And they got delayed flying back.
259
00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:25,046
They were supposed to get back and I'm supposed to have surgery on the Friday, but they
got delayed because there were storms in the Midwest, sorry, on the Rockies that meant
260
00:21:25,046 --> 00:21:28,179
that planes coming west couldn't get through.
261
00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:36,024
And so therefore they were delayed and they eventually came through after the storms had
passed and arrived late Friday night.
262
00:21:36,024 --> 00:21:37,172
Surgeons went home.
263
00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:37,632
bed.
264
00:22:00,017 --> 00:22:05,497
And the next I know is Saturday morning, 430.
265
00:22:05,637 --> 00:22:09,057
Sarah is with me in the room.
266
00:22:09,437 --> 00:22:17,097
And suddenly my room is filled with about a dozen people pulling things out of me,
shuffling me around.
267
00:22:17,097 --> 00:22:22,477
And I recognize that it's the anesthetic team and some of the nursing staff and so on and
so forth.
268
00:22:22,477 --> 00:22:25,629
And they're basically saying, okay, it's go time.
269
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:35,928
and they whisked me uh over onto a gurney and wheeled me down to the operating theater,
still attached to my high flow oxygen kit and everything else, my monitors, et cetera.
270
00:22:35,928 --> 00:22:43,632
And the kind of classic thing that you see in some of medical documentaries of high acuity
surgery.
271
00:22:43,713 --> 00:22:50,197
And they wheeled me in there and then the ultimate indignity, said, could you slide over
onto the table, please?
272
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They asked you to do the effort to
273
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shuffle over.
274
00:22:53,943 --> 00:22:55,003
And that was it.
275
00:22:55,003 --> 00:23:02,069
And then, you know, the next I know is, you know, coming around on the Sunday, I believe
it was.
276
00:23:02,069 --> 00:23:05,291
So the surgery took place through most of Saturday.
277
00:23:05,291 --> 00:23:10,836
And then I was extubated about 24 hours later in the Sunday.
278
00:23:10,836 --> 00:23:13,748
And that's an interesting story for another day.
279
00:23:13,748 --> 00:23:17,944
It's a kind of weird sensation on from there.
280
00:23:17,944 --> 00:23:22,085
Anyway, I'll speed forward because we said we'd keep this short.
281
00:23:22,085 --> 00:23:23,866
I had a remark.
282
00:23:24,646 --> 00:23:25,786
I know, I know.
283
00:23:25,786 --> 00:23:31,108
And that's why if you want to know more, go read the article or listen to Jenny's.
284
00:23:33,159 --> 00:23:33,989
yeah.
285
00:23:34,929 --> 00:23:35,460
Yeah.
286
00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:42,863
And even down to the little titanium bar I have and the eight screws, the I think it's
like four feet.
287
00:23:43,113 --> 00:23:46,345
of stainless steel wire I have in my chest to weaken it.
288
00:23:46,345 --> 00:23:51,359
Because I mean, if you're of a nervous disposition, mute for the next 30 seconds.
289
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:55,561
They basically cut you through your sternum and crack you open.
290
00:23:55,561 --> 00:23:59,724
That's how they can get the old lungs out and the new lungs in.
291
00:23:59,724 --> 00:24:02,465
And then they do the lungs one at a time.
292
00:24:02,465 --> 00:24:04,627
So they take one out, put a new one in.
293
00:24:04,627 --> 00:24:06,868
They take the other one out, put new one in.
294
00:24:06,868 --> 00:24:10,590
And all the time you're attached to a life support machine called an ECMO.
295
00:24:10,590 --> 00:24:11,450
Very
296
00:24:11,708 --> 00:24:14,801
very well known nowadays because of its use during COVID.
297
00:24:14,801 --> 00:24:22,146
But that machine is basically breathing and dealing with getting oxygen into your blood
supply whilst they're doing all of this.
298
00:24:22,146 --> 00:24:33,332
So quite a lot involved and it's, you if you're really fascinated to learn more, there's
plenty of information out there on the inter-Googles to be able to learn about that.
299
00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:35,750
But I was then back.
300
00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:38,552
in ICU, critical care ICU now.
301
00:24:38,552 --> 00:24:44,758
They obviously moved from my now comfortable home in a medical ICU over because I'm
post-surgery.
302
00:24:44,758 --> 00:24:52,926
And within another 24 hours, I was up on a main unit, the main transplant unit in Eight
North in Vanderbilt.
303
00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:55,618
And that's where I was for the remainder of my time.
304
00:24:55,618 --> 00:24:59,491
And my time there was remarkably short.
305
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:03,295
They get you up, standing, vertical.
306
00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:04,297
very quickly.
307
00:25:04,297 --> 00:25:13,875
You still have drains and tubes and IVs and I had a pain relief going into my spine.
308
00:25:13,875 --> 00:25:15,927
had all kinds of things.
309
00:25:15,927 --> 00:25:26,614
so if you should know by now, my love of Star Trek, was literally like the Borg, you know,
where you're walking around with all these tubes and things plugged in, but they make you
310
00:25:26,614 --> 00:25:27,085
walk.
311
00:25:27,085 --> 00:25:28,656
And you're going to hear me say,
312
00:25:28,656 --> 00:25:39,370
walk, walk, walk, walk, walk over and over again, because they drill that into you walk,
make those lungs work, get oxygen flowing through them.
313
00:25:39,370 --> 00:25:43,192
And so had a fantastic experience there.
314
00:25:43,452 --> 00:25:53,867
But one of the things that happens when you're a patient of that acuity and it happens to
all kinds of people in the hospital is you become a label.
315
00:25:54,347 --> 00:25:55,227
So
316
00:25:55,399 --> 00:26:08,615
I was the 60 year old male Caucasian bolt bilateral orthotic lung transplant, two lungs,
orthotically implanted, et cetera.
317
00:26:08,615 --> 00:26:13,797
And therefore they assume that you're going to be average until you prove them, you know
what?
318
00:26:13,997 --> 00:26:15,698
Well, I didn't feel average.
319
00:26:15,698 --> 00:26:17,019
I felt better than average.
320
00:26:17,019 --> 00:26:20,020
And, you know, I've always loved the challenge.
321
00:26:20,020 --> 00:26:23,301
know, Bethany and I are very similar in this respect.
322
00:26:23,409 --> 00:26:24,510
Show me a target.
323
00:26:24,510 --> 00:26:26,391
I'm going to want to try and beat it.
324
00:26:26,412 --> 00:26:29,514
And so therefore, from that perspective, I was very determined.
325
00:26:29,514 --> 00:26:31,876
Now, flashback.
326
00:26:31,876 --> 00:26:38,241
And I told my medical team this, I would always do a word of caution.
327
00:26:38,281 --> 00:26:42,575
Not everybody has the trajectory that I did.
328
00:26:42,575 --> 00:26:48,170
OK, there are a lot of people who struggle, who have quite big complications.
329
00:26:48,170 --> 00:26:50,192
Maybe the tissue doesn't quite match.
330
00:26:50,192 --> 00:26:52,157
I was blessed, I believe.
331
00:26:52,157 --> 00:27:06,869
with a really strong genetic match because both in my recovery then and since I have had
amazing improvement in my health and that's what's allowed me to get on.
332
00:27:06,990 --> 00:27:19,582
But to convince the medical team and the physio team and the OT team, correct, I had to
adopt what I call the close plan.
333
00:27:19,582 --> 00:27:21,664
So the close was I wanted to get home.
334
00:27:21,664 --> 00:27:24,105
That was the contract signing for me.
335
00:27:24,966 --> 00:27:34,593
And so to try and get there, had to, and it's funny after having done the negotiation
episode last week, I had to negotiate with them all.
336
00:27:34,754 --> 00:27:41,139
I had to find out what they wanted and I had to tell them what I wanted and we had to try
and find somewhere to meet in the middle.
337
00:27:41,139 --> 00:27:47,424
And it was quite contentious because it's like the PT was convinced I was gonna end up in
inpatient rehab.
338
00:27:47,424 --> 00:27:48,685
And I was like,
339
00:27:48,789 --> 00:27:50,490
Nope, don't want to do that.
340
00:27:50,490 --> 00:27:52,391
I want to go home and sleep in my own bed.
341
00:27:52,391 --> 00:27:55,733
I'll come back every day and do rehab, but nope.
342
00:27:55,733 --> 00:27:58,185
And she said, well, I don't know about that.
343
00:27:58,185 --> 00:27:59,895
And I said, well, what would it take to convince you?
344
00:27:59,895 --> 00:28:02,396
Well, you would have to do the following.
345
00:28:03,977 --> 00:28:08,399
I won't tell you what the first two or three things were because they're a little bit
bodily function.
346
00:28:08,399 --> 00:28:11,680
But one of them was put your own socks on.
347
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,520
Now think about it.
348
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,191
You know, they've cracked you open in the middle.
349
00:28:14,191 --> 00:28:16,472
I've been lying in bed and I see you for
350
00:28:16,472 --> 00:28:21,105
weeks now, I've lost all tone in my middle and in my legs.
351
00:28:21,105 --> 00:28:24,907
You lose a lot of muscle mass very, very quickly.
352
00:28:24,968 --> 00:28:30,191
And so therefore it was, okay, shows that you can put your own socks on.
353
00:28:30,242 --> 00:28:32,493
I was like, okay, right.
354
00:28:32,493 --> 00:28:33,894
So how am going to do this?
355
00:28:33,894 --> 00:28:40,480
And so with the night nurse, I got her to stand over me whilst I worked out how to put my
own socks back on.
356
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:44,784
And so that was, that was one of the challenges was convincing.
357
00:28:44,784 --> 00:28:57,764
But it was really, it was about finding out what they wanted and then satisfying them and
being able to move things forward and in return saying, this is what I want.
358
00:28:57,844 --> 00:29:00,284
So we went through that process.
359
00:29:00,284 --> 00:29:03,064
I was discharged after 11 days.
360
00:29:03,064 --> 00:29:10,424
So that is I'm off oxygen post the surgery, 24 hours.
361
00:29:10,664 --> 00:29:13,484
I'm walking within 24 hours.
362
00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:17,096
I'm out of the hospital and headed to home in 11 days.
363
00:29:17,096 --> 00:29:26,039
So that shows you what determination or sheer bloody mindedness in my case can do in terms
of achieving a close plan.
364
00:29:26,081 --> 00:29:26,562
Yeah.
365
00:29:26,562 --> 00:29:27,633
No, I completely agree.
366
00:29:27,633 --> 00:29:39,194
and it's what, and, know, and, and again, as you said, we, you have been very lucky either
through divine intervention, good vibes, whatever it was, but also the medical care that
367
00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:47,881
you received, the work that you put in, you know, all of those things combined have led
you here two and a half years later.
368
00:29:47,902 --> 00:29:49,052
Fine.
369
00:29:49,122 --> 00:29:51,423
You know, you have to take your drugs every day, right?
370
00:29:51,423 --> 00:29:52,704
The anti-rejection drugs.
371
00:29:52,704 --> 00:29:53,463
You've got to go.
372
00:29:53,463 --> 00:29:59,409
You just had your two and a half year checkup and you passed with flying colors.
373
00:29:59,409 --> 00:30:13,007
but it, it takes so many elements, but I do truly think that being a very stubborn
salesperson and sales leader probably helped you because you, you, have the personality
374
00:30:13,007 --> 00:30:14,766
where you have that drive.
375
00:30:14,766 --> 00:30:15,917
You want to succeed.
376
00:30:15,917 --> 00:30:17,327
don't just want to hit your target.
377
00:30:17,327 --> 00:30:19,439
You want to exceed your target.
378
00:30:19,439 --> 00:30:19,729
Right?
379
00:30:19,729 --> 00:30:30,304
And so I think there's an innate personality trait within you that allowed you to be as
successful as you are, along with all of those other factors.
380
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:31,600
Yeah, I think so.
381
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:40,794
And we'll touch a little bit on this, you particularly as I'm talking to some of my
friends that resilience, resilience is a great word.
382
00:30:40,794 --> 00:30:48,939
I can almost treat it as a, know, I did an article recently about Invictus, which is on
undefeatable.
383
00:30:48,939 --> 00:30:51,381
But then you can find that in the sub-stack.
384
00:30:51,381 --> 00:30:56,643
resilience is one of my favorite words because I constantly tell people you have
385
00:30:56,643 --> 00:30:57,943
to build up resilience.
386
00:30:57,943 --> 00:31:02,536
And some of that comes from experience, you know, of being able to overcome things.
387
00:31:02,536 --> 00:31:05,037
Life in sales is not straightforward.
388
00:31:05,397 --> 00:31:16,051
If you sail through your sales career, like constantly making quota, constantly getting
promoted, constantly getting bonuses and spits, constantly going to President's Club, that
389
00:31:16,051 --> 00:31:18,572
may not be a true test.
390
00:31:18,632 --> 00:31:20,612
That may not be where you go.
391
00:31:20,612 --> 00:31:23,203
I think there's been many books written about
392
00:31:23,203 --> 00:31:28,176
how you learn from failure, you learn from adversity.
393
00:31:28,176 --> 00:31:32,759
And that's what I think instills resilience in a lot of people.
394
00:31:32,759 --> 00:31:41,298
So that when you are faced with a big challenge, and believe me, the alternative to having
a lung transplant was yes, no longer being here.
395
00:31:41,298 --> 00:31:46,481
And so therefore from that perspective, it was a big, big challenge.
396
00:31:46,481 --> 00:31:47,571
I went and faced it.
397
00:31:47,571 --> 00:31:48,812
I went, okay.
398
00:31:48,838 --> 00:31:49,918
We're gonna face this down.
399
00:31:49,918 --> 00:31:50,798
We're gonna make this work.
400
00:31:50,798 --> 00:31:51,658
How are we gonna do it?
401
00:31:51,658 --> 00:31:52,438
What's the plan?
402
00:31:52,438 --> 00:31:54,098
How are we gonna get through this?
403
00:31:54,098 --> 00:31:55,858
Okay, you want this, you want that.
404
00:31:55,858 --> 00:32:09,718
So I very much used all of those skills and experiences I've gained over 40 years in
professional life and 30 years in sales to work my way through.
405
00:32:09,718 --> 00:32:15,326
And as I say, a reasonable amount of Scottish bloody-mindedness along the
406
00:32:15,945 --> 00:32:24,360
When I think the resilience goes beyond just the patient as well, it's the whole family
and friends, your personal network as well.
407
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:33,173
So we'll transition a little bit now, I think, into how it impacted us, especially me and
especially through the lens of healthcare technology sales.
408
00:32:33,294 --> 00:32:39,756
So when dad first got sick, like I said, we saw him in early March and he was fine.
409
00:32:39,796 --> 00:32:41,777
And my then
410
00:32:42,535 --> 00:32:43,205
How old was she then?
411
00:32:43,205 --> 00:32:46,518
Like two and a half, two and a half year old was running around, having a great time.
412
00:32:46,518 --> 00:32:48,682
I went to the UK, came back.
413
00:32:48,682 --> 00:32:50,174
dad's in ICU.
414
00:32:50,174 --> 00:32:55,048
And so I had to go back for, it wasn't health, was Vive, Vive in Nashville.
415
00:32:55,048 --> 00:32:56,038
So luckily I was there.
416
00:32:56,038 --> 00:32:57,978
So I drove in early.
417
00:32:57,978 --> 00:33:04,363
I got into Nashville like 10 PM, came and saw you and he's hooked up to everything.
418
00:33:04,363 --> 00:33:05,529
And I've never seen.
419
00:33:05,529 --> 00:33:07,132
this is before the surgery, yeah.
420
00:33:07,132 --> 00:33:09,453
Right, this is before the surgery when he had been admitted.
421
00:33:09,453 --> 00:33:12,864
I had never seen dad in that sort of a position.
422
00:33:12,864 --> 00:33:14,705
And it was, it was difficult.
423
00:33:14,705 --> 00:33:23,049
And so went to my hotel, woke up at 5 a.m., went to go see dad for kind of the morning
rounds, and then went to Vive.
424
00:33:23,049 --> 00:33:28,190
And I was charming and lovely and shaking hands and talking about clothes plans and blah,
blah, blah.
425
00:33:28,290 --> 00:33:32,944
All meanwhile, I'm like, dad's gonna find out if he's accepted.
426
00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:36,306
into the lung transplant program this week.
427
00:33:36,546 --> 00:33:40,040
Like we don't know if he's not, he's gonna die in like a week.
428
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:46,303
So I was going and being all charming and lovely at Vive with that in the back of my head.
429
00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:53,801
At the same time, I had kind of stepped up, because mum was obviously lovingly a mess,
right?
430
00:33:53,801 --> 00:33:56,542
So I had stepped up to handle some of the more...
431
00:33:56,638 --> 00:33:59,727
administrative functions of the family.
432
00:34:00,131 --> 00:34:01,338
Things like
433
00:34:01,338 --> 00:34:04,722
you became my PA for a few weeks.
434
00:34:04,722 --> 00:34:05,702
Yes.
435
00:34:06,124 --> 00:34:06,600
Yep.
436
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,860
end of year for the company that I was at.
437
00:34:08,981 --> 00:34:10,481
I was at Vive.
438
00:34:10,862 --> 00:34:17,686
I was trying to talk to dad's company as well because he was a sales leader at the time.
439
00:34:17,886 --> 00:34:21,979
And it was his end of quarter and he had like had to go on short term disability.
440
00:34:21,979 --> 00:34:23,479
Well, what does that mean?
441
00:34:23,479 --> 00:34:24,360
How do we do that?
442
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,011
How do we get the right money into the right places?
443
00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:29,272
What does that mean for his commission?
444
00:34:29,453 --> 00:34:29,973
Right.
445
00:34:29,973 --> 00:34:32,054
It's little things that you don't
446
00:34:32,342 --> 00:34:37,743
think about and then when you're really, really sick, you can't think about because you're
just trying to be alive.
447
00:34:37,744 --> 00:34:39,764
You're just trying to not die.
448
00:34:39,944 --> 00:34:42,985
And so different fights.
449
00:34:42,985 --> 00:34:47,327
So I stepped up and was kind of having that fight all while doing everything else.
450
00:34:47,327 --> 00:34:59,726
We then came back, you know, I did so I went to Vive, I then drove to my parents house,
picked up my mom, took her to see dad, and then took her to my hotel, then
451
00:34:59,726 --> 00:35:04,729
went out to the Vive concert, whatever it was, I don't know what it was, I was there.
452
00:35:04,786 --> 00:35:07,691
I vaguely remember walking around with some of my friends.
453
00:35:07,691 --> 00:35:09,531
I don't know what the concert was.
454
00:35:09,612 --> 00:35:13,274
Came back, saw mom, took her home, went to Vanderbilt, went to...
455
00:35:13,274 --> 00:35:15,616
So that was just it for like three days.
456
00:35:15,616 --> 00:35:18,739
And then came back home on the Thursday night.
457
00:35:18,739 --> 00:35:21,532
And that was when they said, okay, where go?
458
00:35:21,532 --> 00:35:24,183
Dad's getting surgery on the Saturday.
459
00:35:24,525 --> 00:35:26,997
was my daughter's Easter egg hunt at school.
460
00:35:26,997 --> 00:35:31,361
So I'm like, well, there's nothing I can really do if I'm there two hours early or not.
461
00:35:31,361 --> 00:35:33,763
So let's go to the Easter egg hunt.
462
00:35:33,884 --> 00:35:37,977
And it was, I was so, I cried the entire Easter.
463
00:35:37,977 --> 00:35:44,173
I had sunglasses on and I'm just stood on the playground with tears and all these moms
like, you okay?
464
00:35:44,173 --> 00:35:48,756
Like, I know it's really sweet seeing the little two year olds do Easter egg hunts.
465
00:35:48,756 --> 00:35:51,300
And I'm like, I'm fine, it's fine, it's fine, don't worry.
466
00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:52,141
Total mess.
467
00:35:52,141 --> 00:35:59,026
But then we loaded up the car, we drove to Tennessee, we took mum in for the surgery.
468
00:35:59,026 --> 00:36:05,492
We weren't allowed to go in because he was in such critical unit that it was only kind of
one person at a time.
469
00:36:05,492 --> 00:36:13,390
we just, like, we couldn't see Jamie and I, you my brother and I, we couldn't see you to
say good luck, goodbye, whatever.
470
00:36:13,390 --> 00:36:19,072
We just kind of trusted that mum knew what she was doing and sent him off.
471
00:36:19,072 --> 00:36:19,803
sent her off.
472
00:36:19,803 --> 00:36:20,653
And it was wild.
473
00:36:20,653 --> 00:36:32,151
What the funniest to me was my daughter fell asleep and in the guest room at my parents
house there, they had a crib set up for her because they are extra grandparents, very
474
00:36:32,151 --> 00:36:33,953
extra bougie people.
475
00:36:33,953 --> 00:36:39,928
And so her crib was set up right next to the bookcase where all of dad's books are.
476
00:36:39,928 --> 00:36:44,131
And so we put her down for her nap and was like, okay, you know, we'll see you later.
477
00:36:44,225 --> 00:36:48,680
We all go back out to wait for information about the surgery.
478
00:36:48,681 --> 00:36:58,954
We wake up, or she wakes up, you two hours later, we walk in and she had pulled three of
dad's sales books down and was like cuddling them.
479
00:36:58,954 --> 00:37:00,235
And so that made me cry again.
480
00:37:00,235 --> 00:37:01,641
was like, my baby.
481
00:37:01,641 --> 00:37:03,225
I think you took a photograph.
482
00:37:03,225 --> 00:37:04,969
I'll see if I can stick it in you.
483
00:37:04,969 --> 00:37:05,349
Yeah.
484
00:37:05,349 --> 00:37:06,231
very, very sweet.
485
00:37:06,231 --> 00:37:14,014
So it was just, it's an awful, awful situation to be in when your loved one is having a
surgery like that.
486
00:37:14,314 --> 00:37:19,996
What's funny is that Friday was because dad's surgery was April 1st, April Fool's Day.
487
00:37:19,996 --> 00:37:25,352
Well, the day before is the last day of the quarter and the last day of the year for the
company I was with at the time.
488
00:37:25,352 --> 00:37:29,783
Yeah, because you get a weird April 1st start.
489
00:37:29,783 --> 00:37:34,586
I had one of the best quarters in the best years of my career.
490
00:37:34,807 --> 00:37:39,370
And so at five o'clock we had like an all sales call.
491
00:37:39,370 --> 00:37:41,622
We were halfway to Tennessee by then.
492
00:37:41,622 --> 00:37:50,548
And I remember my manager just going on about like, Bethany did this deal and was so proud
of her and she got this one in like signed the final thing today.
493
00:37:50,548 --> 00:37:55,953
I was still signing, getting contracts signed while I was dealing with all of this.
494
00:37:55,953 --> 00:38:06,129
It took me, I think it literally took me until I went to President's Club in like the
August or September later in the year for me to realize like, I had a really good year.
495
00:38:06,129 --> 00:38:08,670
Cause I didn't care.
496
00:38:08,930 --> 00:38:10,591
I was still getting stuff signed.
497
00:38:10,591 --> 00:38:14,413
was still doing what I needed to do, but I just didn't care.
498
00:38:14,413 --> 00:38:19,776
Which is very not normal for me or, you know, for anyone.
499
00:38:19,816 --> 00:38:22,045
And so that was fascinating.
500
00:38:43,654 --> 00:38:45,621
What was interesting as well is about
501
00:38:45,621 --> 00:38:53,778
two, three weeks after dad's surgery was HIMSS So, you know, go back, shaking hands,
smiling and a little happier this time, right?
502
00:38:53,778 --> 00:38:56,350
Because dad had survived and he was doing well.
503
00:38:56,350 --> 00:39:00,503
He had had a little setback, but generally was doing well.
504
00:39:00,503 --> 00:39:02,784
And dad had posted about it.
505
00:39:02,845 --> 00:39:07,387
And so all of his friends and colleagues and peers knew.
506
00:39:07,811 --> 00:39:12,641
So for the entirety of that hims, people were coming up to me and being like,
507
00:39:12,787 --> 00:39:14,527
Bethany and just giving me hugs.
508
00:39:14,527 --> 00:39:20,727
So I'd be like chatting to clients and prospects and they would just come and be like, I
just need to give you a hug.
509
00:39:20,727 --> 00:39:21,767
I'm so sorry.
510
00:39:21,767 --> 00:39:24,867
And that was so lovely and so nice.
511
00:39:24,867 --> 00:39:33,618
And generally I kept it together until I had a huge meeting with a big, big client where
we wanted to do some big, big stuff.
512
00:39:33,618 --> 00:39:40,518
And it was like 1.55 PM or something and the meeting was at two and our friend
513
00:39:40,528 --> 00:39:47,312
Dad's friend Ralph Kaiser walks up and he starts saying the loveliest stuff about dad.
514
00:39:47,471 --> 00:39:49,213
I'm gonna cry, this isn't good.
515
00:39:49,213 --> 00:39:50,914
This is bad podcast.
516
00:39:50,914 --> 00:39:54,376
He started saying the loveliest stuff about dad and I broke down.
517
00:39:54,376 --> 00:39:56,096
I just started crying.
518
00:39:56,536 --> 00:39:58,248
My CEO walked by and was like.
519
00:39:58,248 --> 00:40:00,079
my God, fine, it's fine, I'll get it together.
520
00:40:00,079 --> 00:40:08,889
And I see the client walk in and they go into the meeting room and one of the VPs that was
going to be in there with me, I was like, look, give me five minutes to like pull it
521
00:40:08,889 --> 00:40:10,019
together, get it started.
522
00:40:10,019 --> 00:40:11,280
I'll be in there.
523
00:40:11,441 --> 00:40:14,322
So Ralph says all this lovely stuff and I'm crying.
524
00:40:14,803 --> 00:40:16,815
I had already figured out that I shouldn't wear mascara.
525
00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:21,170
So at least I wasn't like racooning myself, but
526
00:40:21,170 --> 00:40:27,177
I walked into that meeting and for whatever reason, and I was, you I knew I was off my
game because I was distracted.
527
00:40:27,177 --> 00:40:27,727
but I was there.
528
00:40:27,727 --> 00:40:29,439
I was doing what I needed to do.
529
00:40:29,439 --> 00:40:32,181
It was one of the worst meetings of my life.
530
00:40:32,181 --> 00:40:33,394
It was so bad.
531
00:40:33,394 --> 00:40:34,295
it was just bad.
532
00:40:34,295 --> 00:40:40,431
And one thing that will stick with me is, you know, the, people on my team who knew what
was going on.
533
00:40:40,677 --> 00:40:44,470
which was everyone, you know, everyone knew what was happening.
534
00:40:44,811 --> 00:40:52,418
The people that stepped in and covered for me when they would ask a question, I'd like, I
don't know what that is.
535
00:40:52,418 --> 00:40:56,573
They would step in and be like, it's this, know, let me, definitely let me take that
question.
536
00:40:56,573 --> 00:41:04,329
They are the people in my head who I know are good people, who are nice people, who are
not only professionally nice, but also personally nice.
537
00:41:04,329 --> 00:41:07,482
They knew what I was going through and they kind of
538
00:41:07,752 --> 00:41:09,134
stepped in and stepped up.
539
00:41:09,134 --> 00:41:17,861
On the flip side, there was somebody that was in that meeting that saw me again later in
the year when, you know, dad was healthy and fine and good.
540
00:41:18,121 --> 00:41:21,082
And they were like, that was a real crappy meeting, right?
541
00:41:21,082 --> 00:41:22,254
Like you really dropped the ball.
542
00:41:22,254 --> 00:41:23,565
You really did a terrible job.
543
00:41:23,565 --> 00:41:24,746
You didn't manage that meet.
544
00:41:24,746 --> 00:41:26,887
You just went off on me.
545
00:41:26,887 --> 00:41:32,031
And on one hand, I wanted to be like, well, my dad almost fucking died like two weeks
before.
546
00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:33,870
And I was a little emotional.
547
00:41:33,870 --> 00:41:38,580
And maybe I shouldn't have been at work, but I was, I turned up, I did what I needed to
do.
548
00:41:38,943 --> 00:41:42,445
But is that really, is that attitude really helping anybody?
549
00:41:42,445 --> 00:41:47,808
But, you know, I took the other hand and I was like, well, you know, not some meetings are
just, you know, not great.
550
00:41:47,808 --> 00:41:49,089
We still have a good partnership.
551
00:41:49,089 --> 00:41:49,709
It's all good.
552
00:41:49,709 --> 00:41:51,741
Oh, you know, smiley smiley.
553
00:41:51,741 --> 00:42:01,106
So I think my, my advice there is if you have a employee or a teammate or a partner.
554
00:42:01,286 --> 00:42:02,858
or anybody professionally.
555
00:42:02,858 --> 00:42:04,698
Everyone has stuff.
556
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,056
Everyone has stuff going on.
557
00:42:07,056 --> 00:42:09,784
It could be a dad having a double lung transplant.
558
00:42:09,784 --> 00:42:12,416
It could be trying to get pregnant.
559
00:42:12,416 --> 00:42:13,837
It could be a divorce.
560
00:42:13,837 --> 00:42:14,967
It could be...
561
00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:15,526
apart.
562
00:42:15,526 --> 00:42:18,149
It could be any number of things.
563
00:42:18,430 --> 00:42:22,063
You used a good word as we were talking about preparing for this.
564
00:42:22,063 --> 00:42:23,123
Grace.
565
00:42:23,844 --> 00:42:30,198
I think showing people grace is something, particularly as you become a leader.
566
00:42:30,198 --> 00:42:40,366
And I don't mean just in terms of leading people who are reporting to you, but just
generally adopting a leadership mantle and being a good human being.
567
00:42:40,646 --> 00:42:52,445
Having grace and a recognition for people's challenges and how that affects their work
situation, I think is so important.
568
00:42:52,445 --> 00:43:00,870
It's very easy to become micro-critical in a moment about this or that or this behavior or
that decision.
569
00:43:01,071 --> 00:43:08,450
But I think that trying to understand, and I get it, some people want to be incredibly
private.
570
00:43:08,450 --> 00:43:10,181
about what's going on in their life.
571
00:43:10,181 --> 00:43:17,203
I totally respect that that's the case, but I think that it behooves you.
572
00:43:19,805 --> 00:43:31,905
Well, but it's, if you see something unusual or you see something that is distinct, then
maybe pause and ask, is everything okay?
573
00:43:31,905 --> 00:43:32,965
I love,
574
00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:36,253
During my period of recovery, I became a fan.
575
00:43:36,253 --> 00:43:40,536
My son taught me this in terms of the times that he's been in hospital.
576
00:43:40,536 --> 00:43:48,563
The Price is Right, in the mornings on cable TV, is one of the happiest shows on earth.
577
00:43:48,823 --> 00:43:53,097
know, it's Drew Carey now as the host, obviously, Bob Barker back in the days, et cetera.
578
00:43:53,097 --> 00:43:57,160
They're just so happy for people to...
579
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:58,011
win the prizes.
580
00:43:58,011 --> 00:43:59,942
They don't want people not to win.
581
00:43:59,942 --> 00:44:06,937
There's nothing in it for the hosts or the people who are showing off the prizes to, or
people not to win the prizes.
582
00:44:06,937 --> 00:44:09,859
As far as they're concerned, it doesn't matter whether they win or they don't win.
583
00:44:09,859 --> 00:44:11,771
So therefore be happy that they should win.
584
00:44:11,771 --> 00:44:15,405
I do think Drew has one of the best things ever.
585
00:44:15,405 --> 00:44:17,360
You know, be kind to each other.
586
00:44:17,580 --> 00:44:18,961
Take care of your mental health.
587
00:44:18,961 --> 00:44:23,287
I love that he finishes every, I'm going to go now.
588
00:44:23,287 --> 00:44:24,051
Yeah
589
00:44:24,051 --> 00:44:35,198
show that way because I think one of the things that I've learned through this experience
is we all get so wrapped up in our own little ball of stuff.
590
00:44:35,198 --> 00:44:40,881
And I get it in sales quite often it is you're the lonely hunter.
591
00:44:40,881 --> 00:44:45,264
You're out there, you're trying to overcome challenges in your company.
592
00:44:45,264 --> 00:44:47,705
You're trying to overcome challenges with the client.
593
00:44:47,705 --> 00:44:51,537
You're trying to work out how you're going to plot your course to your quota.
594
00:44:51,987 --> 00:44:59,547
but at the end of the day, you're still a human being and you're part of this community,
this environment.
595
00:44:59,547 --> 00:45:09,107
And so therefore I strongly encourage people, have a little grace for other people and try
and have some awareness and just ask.
596
00:45:09,407 --> 00:45:18,407
Just make a allowance and ask rather than assuming that somebody is just not very good or
this or that or the other.
597
00:45:18,407 --> 00:45:20,334
It may be the only time you have an interaction with.
598
00:45:20,334 --> 00:45:23,148
you know, like that guy, that guy with Bethany.
599
00:45:23,148 --> 00:45:24,611
yeah, sorry.
600
00:45:24,611 --> 00:45:27,273
Small tangent, but I felt it was important to say
601
00:45:27,273 --> 00:45:43,633
And I think that's a good way to kind of wrap up this episode is we've just shared dad's
story and what happened to dad in the spring of 2023, how that impacted us and our family.
602
00:45:43,893 --> 00:45:51,413
It also impacted his donor's family, obviously, you know, he made a huge sacrifice in
order for dad to be alive today.
603
00:45:51,953 --> 00:45:57,345
It impacts so many people in your sphere, it impacted your team.
604
00:45:57,661 --> 00:46:02,810
that you were working with at the time, it impacted my team, because I wasn't, I was not
on my best.
605
00:46:02,810 --> 00:46:06,246
I was not firing on all cylinders at those conferences in the spring.
606
00:46:06,246 --> 00:46:10,274
But if we just show grace, and if we try to be kind to one another.
607
00:46:10,274 --> 00:46:12,845
It goes a long way in this universe.
608
00:46:12,845 --> 00:46:20,230
And that's whether you're a sales leader, a sales person, just a human being on this
planet, hurtling through space.
609
00:46:20,230 --> 00:46:25,052
The kinder that you can be and the more grace that you can show people, the better.
610
00:46:25,052 --> 00:46:34,058
And once again, to reiterate, a huge, huge thank you to Vanderbilt University Medical
Center for saving dad's life.
611
00:46:34,486 --> 00:46:37,968
for his donor's family, for that huge, huge sacrifice.
612
00:46:37,968 --> 00:46:48,883
All of our friends and dad's friends and his circle, seriously, at HIMSS, seeing how many
people came up to me, because they knew dad, and dad and I always go to HIMSS together, so
613
00:46:48,883 --> 00:46:56,038
people always see the two of us anyway, it was so impressive to go and have all these
people come up to me.
614
00:46:56,109 --> 00:47:03,213
We're so lucky to work in the same industry, I think, because, you know, you don't always
get to hear people say lovely things about you.
615
00:47:03,213 --> 00:47:07,286
I think we should say more lovely things about our peers and our friends and our
coworkers.
616
00:47:07,286 --> 00:47:07,867
Right?
617
00:47:07,867 --> 00:47:15,331
I'm a huge fan of someone gets a promotion on LinkedIn, sending them a message, but just
kind of outlines like, I'm so proud of you.
618
00:47:15,331 --> 00:47:16,831
You are so dedicated to this.
619
00:47:16,831 --> 00:47:18,355
And I've seen how hard.
620
00:47:18,355 --> 00:47:21,398
and instead of hitting the like, choose another icon.
621
00:47:21,398 --> 00:47:29,343
It shows that you actually took a second to think about it rather than just like, oh, I'm
going through and I'm hitting that little blue thumbs up.
622
00:47:29,343 --> 00:47:33,576
Think about, you know, something maybe doing an applause is maybe doing a heart.
623
00:47:33,576 --> 00:47:35,927
If you know them really well, whatever it might be.
624
00:47:36,508 --> 00:47:40,070
So you don't have to.
625
00:47:40,070 --> 00:47:41,152
Yes, that would be good.
626
00:47:41,152 --> 00:47:42,092
All the subs.
627
00:47:42,092 --> 00:47:43,988
Let me finish with one last thing.
628
00:47:43,988 --> 00:47:55,945
So about six months after the transplant, not well, five months after the transplant, I
had set myself another goal after I had been discharged and I finished rehab, which was
629
00:47:55,945 --> 00:47:58,572
about 20 sessions that I had to do.
630
00:47:58,572 --> 00:48:00,048
And they did three sessions a week.
631
00:48:00,048 --> 00:48:05,741
I decided I was going to set myself a goal of doing a 5K.
632
00:48:05,741 --> 00:48:09,974
There's a charity 5K in the town that we lived in in Tennessee that happens every year.
633
00:48:09,974 --> 00:48:11,166
And it's a big event.
634
00:48:11,166 --> 00:48:13,258
A couple of thousand people participate.
635
00:48:13,258 --> 00:48:18,061
And I decided for the first time ever, I was going to do that 5K.
636
00:48:18,061 --> 00:48:19,172
And I did.
637
00:48:19,172 --> 00:48:26,746
And I finished the 5K, so it's 3.3 miles or whatever that is, in less than an hour.
638
00:48:26,746 --> 00:48:28,477
I finished it in 53 minutes.
639
00:48:28,477 --> 00:48:37,006
I actually paid for one of those chipped bibs, the vest thing, the sort of labels that you
get, so that I could get the timing official.
640
00:48:37,006 --> 00:48:44,830
And I was stunned because I thought maybe an hour and 10 minutes, something like that,
because pretty good walking pace by then.
641
00:48:44,849 --> 00:48:55,036
And I still go for a walk most mornings, you know, and I do I've not found a route and I
do three miles and I'm still below 60 minutes.
642
00:48:55,036 --> 00:48:59,948
And I am going to keep continuing to do that so that I can keep the resilience.
643
00:48:59,948 --> 00:49:02,220
I completed my test the other week.
644
00:49:02,220 --> 00:49:06,832
Now, the second thing I wanted to share was about a month later.
645
00:49:07,004 --> 00:49:15,760
I finally wrote my letter to the donor's family, which you give to the lung transplant
service because you don't have any direct connection with the donor.
646
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:17,161
You don't know anything about them.
647
00:49:17,161 --> 00:49:23,386
All I knew was that they had obviously given their donation in Phoenix, Arizona.
648
00:49:23,386 --> 00:49:24,727
It didn't mean they were from Phoenix.
649
00:49:24,727 --> 00:49:31,362
They could have been from somewhere in that general geographic area and that they were
male and that they were taller than me.
650
00:49:31,362 --> 00:49:32,543
That was it.
651
00:49:32,583 --> 00:49:34,184
I knew nothing else.
652
00:49:34,494 --> 00:49:42,948
And so I sent off the letter and the idea is then the donor family will receive the letter
through that intermediary, the transplant service.
653
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:54,756
If they choose to receive it, because they can say, I don't want to know anything, but if
they choose to receive it, then they can decide, okay, okay, I understand.
654
00:49:54,777 --> 00:49:58,718
And they can either reply or they can decide not to reply.
655
00:49:58,879 --> 00:50:01,426
So I hadn't heard anything at all back.
656
00:50:01,426 --> 00:50:04,659
And I thought, well, that's nevermind.
657
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:08,004
And I was sat at home about 10 p.m.
658
00:50:08,004 --> 00:50:17,044
Sarah had gone up to bed and I was sitting there on my iPad just browsing through when I
get a ping and I get a Facebook Messenger alert.
659
00:50:17,044 --> 00:50:18,266
And it's from a stranger.
660
00:50:18,266 --> 00:50:21,033
Okay, so I click and read it.
661
00:50:21,033 --> 00:50:32,090
And it was from the mother of my donor who explained that they had received the letter or
that his wife had received the letter.
662
00:50:32,550 --> 00:50:39,134
But she had been so distraught in her grief that she just didn't feel that she could deal
with it.
663
00:50:39,134 --> 00:50:48,977
She read the letter and she was very glad to hear that how I was doing, but she just
didn't feel like she could address it.
664
00:50:48,977 --> 00:51:01,452
And then coming to the anniversary, because this is March 31st of 2024, she had asked my
donor's mother, would you reach out to him?
665
00:51:01,752 --> 00:51:04,262
So she thought, it's so late.
666
00:51:04,262 --> 00:51:06,755
I don't have time to write a letter.
667
00:51:06,956 --> 00:51:14,881
So she, she Google stalked me because I had a logo on my t-shirt that happens to be
Haverin And she,
668
00:51:15,121 --> 00:51:24,609
She had Google stalked me because it's quite an unusual word and found me and found me out
my Facebook profile and decided, okay, this is how I'm going to do it.
669
00:51:24,609 --> 00:51:33,336
So we exchanged some, you know, words backwards and forwards, which are very private and
personal.
670
00:51:33,477 --> 00:51:40,124
She shared that at that time she didn't want to share anymore, but she was glad that she
had been in touch with me.
671
00:51:40,124 --> 00:51:41,473
And I said, I completely
672
00:51:41,473 --> 00:51:51,590
lately understand and respect that and just know and please tell his wife and his daughter
that I will honor his sacrifice.
673
00:51:54,621 --> 00:51:56,736
I wear both messes, it's fine.
674
00:51:57,022 --> 00:51:58,842
in any way I can.
675
00:51:59,223 --> 00:52:16,151
And so in a tiny way, that's why I said in the preview in the last episode, I'm here and
able to share our stories and pass on the information that Bethany and I do because of the
676
00:52:16,151 --> 00:52:19,713
gift that he gave me.
677
00:52:22,117 --> 00:52:30,636
So at that point, I'm gonna pause and Bethany, I don't know whether you or I can wrap it
up, but maybe you will.
678
00:52:30,636 --> 00:52:31,277
no, I'm like...
679
00:52:31,277 --> 00:52:34,069
So, our call to action.
680
00:52:34,069 --> 00:52:37,771
Please, if you are able to, please register to be an organ donor.
681
00:52:37,771 --> 00:52:40,973
It completely changes and transforms lives.
682
00:52:40,973 --> 00:52:42,333
That's number one.
683
00:52:42,614 --> 00:52:52,059
Number two, please stay healthy out there for people like Dad, because now that Dad has
had this gift, we need to keep him healthy.
684
00:52:52,059 --> 00:52:52,660
My...
685
00:52:52,660 --> 00:53:00,433
Now five year old knows when we go to granny and papa's house, I mean she washes her hands
anyway, but we always wash our hands.
686
00:53:00,433 --> 00:53:05,085
We always use hand sanitizer and we always have a shower before we go into their house.
687
00:53:05,325 --> 00:53:08,177
If something falls on the floor, we don't eat it, we throw it away.
688
00:53:08,177 --> 00:53:12,188
Like she, we have to sanitize the tables when we go out to eat.
689
00:53:12,188 --> 00:53:14,329
She is so on top of it.
690
00:53:14,329 --> 00:53:17,352
If my five year old knows that, you all should know it too.
691
00:53:17,352 --> 00:53:18,252
Please wash your hands.
692
00:53:18,252 --> 00:53:20,669
It freaks me out at HIMSS how many people.
693
00:53:20,669 --> 00:53:22,210
go to the bathroom and then just walk out.
694
00:53:22,210 --> 00:53:24,261
I'm like, please, come on.
695
00:53:25,142 --> 00:53:30,007
And being in healthcare, like, please, if you are able to get your flu shots, please get
your flu shots.
696
00:53:30,007 --> 00:53:37,013
My five-year-old was telling off a older man at CVS the other day when we went for our flu
shots.
697
00:53:37,013 --> 00:53:38,934
The guy was like, it's scary needles.
698
00:53:38,934 --> 00:53:40,375
And she's like, no, it's not.
699
00:53:40,375 --> 00:53:43,519
I'm gonna protect my papa with my flu shot.
700
00:53:43,519 --> 00:53:46,081
And he was like, and I said, oh, you know.
701
00:53:46,081 --> 00:53:48,553
Her papa had a lung transplant, you know.
702
00:53:48,853 --> 00:53:51,696
And he's like, okay, do you want to get my shot for me then?
703
00:53:51,696 --> 00:53:54,408
And she went, no, you have to get your shot for my papa.
704
00:53:54,408 --> 00:53:58,362
And I was like, was that a little sassy of a five year old to say to a grownup?
705
00:53:58,362 --> 00:54:01,735
Maybe, but she is clinically accurate.
706
00:54:03,276 --> 00:54:04,127
exactly.
707
00:54:04,127 --> 00:54:10,787
all because, I am going to be immunocompromised for the remainder of my life, however much
time I've got.
708
00:54:10,787 --> 00:54:14,327
By the way, people think, oh, lung transplants.
709
00:54:14,327 --> 00:54:19,767
There's a lot of information out there that I explained that gets a little scary when you
first start Googling.
710
00:54:19,767 --> 00:54:28,898
And you'll see lots of statements like in Wikipedia and various other places that the
average lifespan for a lung transplant recipient is five years.
711
00:54:28,898 --> 00:54:30,610
I have met
712
00:54:30,610 --> 00:54:36,394
people who are 26, 30 years post lung transplant.
713
00:54:36,394 --> 00:54:40,156
And believe me, the technology and the procedures have gotten so much better.
714
00:54:40,257 --> 00:54:49,645
But the drugs that I am on that maintain the kind of anti-rejection regime that I'm on
mean that I am immunocompromised.
715
00:54:49,645 --> 00:54:57,140
My immune system is lowered because that's how they stop your body rejecting this foreign
tissue.
716
00:54:57,483 --> 00:55:02,245
Um, and so that means we're very susceptible and there's lots of us out there.
717
00:55:02,245 --> 00:55:12,079
There are kidney patients, people who have received kidney transplants, many of those
heart transplants, liver transplants, the number of people who are on immunosuppression is
718
00:55:12,079 --> 00:55:12,990
huge.
719
00:55:12,990 --> 00:55:23,184
So aside from protecting your loved ones who may also be fragile in one way or another,
there are a lot of people out in the community that are that way.
720
00:55:23,184 --> 00:55:24,414
So I think Bethany is right.
721
00:55:24,414 --> 00:55:25,495
Please.
722
00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:32,363
lot of fear, uncertainty and doubt out there about the efficacy of vaccines and whether
they're good, bad or indifferent.
723
00:55:32,623 --> 00:55:35,964
If you don't have a reaction to it, what you got to lose?
724
00:55:35,964 --> 00:55:38,706
You get an ache in the arm for a day or two.
725
00:55:38,706 --> 00:55:41,667
Other than that, you are protecting yourself.
726
00:55:41,667 --> 00:55:44,288
Please, please understand that.
727
00:55:44,468 --> 00:55:52,552
And yes, I know that has to be a judgment between you and your doctor, but it really does
make a difference when you're comparing other people.
728
00:55:52,552 --> 00:55:53,683
And of course,
729
00:55:53,683 --> 00:55:56,079
Sign up to be registered to be a donor.
730
00:55:56,161 --> 00:55:58,043
Yes.
731
00:55:58,043 --> 00:56:01,226
So sorry we cried so many times in this episode.
732
00:56:01,226 --> 00:56:01,967
Good times.
733
00:56:01,967 --> 00:56:04,150
Please, please leave a comment.
734
00:56:04,150 --> 00:56:09,435
I know this was a little bit different from a uh typical healthcare technology sales
podcast.
735
00:56:09,435 --> 00:56:15,119
Next week we are going to continue to not be a typical healthcare technology sales
podcast.
736
00:56:15,119 --> 00:56:20,473
And we are going to be hearing from some of our friends who we've met
737
00:56:20,572 --> 00:56:25,201
during this journey who are also transplant recipients.
738
00:56:25,299 --> 00:56:39,465
Well, it's an interesting group because we have already trailed Jenny, who has a lot of
experience with her podcast of talking with and learning from other transplant recipients,
739
00:56:39,465 --> 00:56:41,777
not just lung transplant recipients, but all kinds.
740
00:56:41,777 --> 00:56:49,011
But then the other two guests, one has been involved in technology sales leadership for
most of his professional career.
741
00:56:49,011 --> 00:56:51,362
And it was just pure
742
00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:58,052
coincidence and there's a very interesting twist to his lung transplant story that we'll
get into.
743
00:56:58,213 --> 00:57:08,688
And then the other is actually a physician, a doctor, medical doctor, who you'll get to
meet and hear from who ended up needing a double lung transplant.
744
00:57:08,688 --> 00:57:20,134
So each of them are going to have very different perspectives in terms of their
experiences before lung transplant as to how then the transplant process affected them.
745
00:57:20,134 --> 00:57:21,365
Absolutely.
746
00:57:21,385 --> 00:57:33,055
So on October 9th, just take a breath and be thankful for science and medicine and all of
the people involved who allow all of these lung transplants to take place.
747
00:57:33,055 --> 00:57:37,539
Listen out for our next episode where we're going to be meeting some of those patients.
748
00:57:37,539 --> 00:57:39,751
And then we're going to get back into the sales stuff.
749
00:57:39,751 --> 00:57:42,022
We'll talk a little bit about some.
750
00:57:44,725 --> 00:57:45,317
Yeah.
751
00:57:45,317 --> 00:57:48,077
sales and commercial and health information technology.
752
00:57:48,077 --> 00:57:55,660
Yeah, we need to give a good buffer before we get into any other medical crises that
either of the two of us have been through.
753
00:57:55,660 --> 00:57:58,404
Let's give it some time.
754
00:58:00,179 --> 00:58:03,232
with that, we'll see you on that next episode.
755
00:58:03,232 --> 00:58:05,583
And until then, keep Haverin'!